#I'm mostly just rambling sorry if this isn't coherent

[cistematicchaos]

It always pisses me off when I say my grandma was murdered and the minute people hear it was done by medical professionals, they no longer give a fuck. Not as in they don't care she's dead, but as in they believe it was just an accident, or it was inevitable because she was older, or it was her fault because she was mentally ill. Its as if murder via medical professionals/our healthcare system is invalid, people are just act like she fucking died-as if her life wasn't fucking stolen. Y'all don't know how common this shit is and I've seen it happen numerous times over, as well as seeing numerous attempts and its such a heavy weight to carry.

People act like I'm exaggerating or just shouldn't speak of it, because it reflects badly on our medical system and especially as someone who's mentally ill, someone who's crippled, its terrifying to see how easily it is for medical professionals to murder people like me and for us to just disappear as they go on living their life like nothing happened, watching eugenics play out right in front of you. And how the fuck are you even supposed to grieve when your loved one's death is "invalid" in people's eyes and you're not even supposed to discuss it? its a mess.

[angelsdean]

i have been studying for my dean studies degree (rewatching spn + going down all the dean winchester meta tags like im a crazy 1800s scientist and the tags are holes marked Centre Of The Earth: This Way) and i just want to say you are absolutely correct in how you perceive dean. also i wanted to ask if you have any thoughts on deans character change post-kripke era bc i have so many thoughts but they dont arrange themselves in coherent sentence forms. im like an idea blender constantly on the highest setting and every so often they throw too much material into me and i explode chunks of thoughts in ways that do not lend themselves to interpretation under our earth standards of logic. and it looks like you have a lot of really good dean thoughts™️. anyway have a nice day

hi thanks so much for being here! i feel like i'll have much more to say about post-kripke era dean once i get there in my rewatch (which i have not been doing lately, need to get back to that!!) but i think a lot of the changes we see in dean's character post-kripke era is a combination of the fact that dean really was becoming thee central character (i know i know that's such a deangirl thing of me to say but!) of the two brothers, like post-swan song felt like sam's arc as the "main character" ended, and for seasons after most of the central plots revolved around dean (purgatory, demon dean, mark of cain, the darkness). another thing that i think contributed to the changes post-kripke era is just that there were a lot of new writers coming in. also following kripke era was gamble era and sera gamble is a known samgirl lol (and not a huge cas fan) so i feel like that also impacted some of how dean was characterized during her era. but yea i think, in general, throughout the show, we see lots writers bring their own spin on all the characters and sometimes that leads to new characterization (both good and bad) and sometimes we have to grapple with some wildly ooc or inconsistent characterization because writers will just...not do their homework lol.

these are all mostly outside explanations for dean's character changes, but once i'm farther along in my rewatch i'll def start talking abt more in-world explanations. for me a lot of it goes back to just unresolved post-hell trauma. (and continuous trauma piled on top of all that). like dean IS different when he comes back from hell. early seasons (and pre-series) dean ISN'T all that angry. he's always had to be the mediator. but then he starts getting angrier (starting with john telling him he may have to kill sam). and then he comes back from hell and he's got a lot more anger boiling under the surface. and i think hell is a HUGE thing for him that the narrative never properly addresses or lets him deal with and heal from in any significant way. and i feel like having to bury that trauma so he can deal with the next big bad or apocalypse definitely has some effect of him.

anyways, i'm rambling now but thanks for the message, sorry it took me a few days to get to it!

[candy-pants]

Oh no I’m so sorry!! I hesitated to say anything cuz I wasn’t sure if you were just taking your time lol. Sorry we’re down to the last day but let’s pack in a lot of questions in that case!! First off, Ashley is kinda slaying in that vid ngl. And I love learning more about latam Disney channel, thanks for sharing!! What show were they on?? And you have a point about Sabrina lol. Switching gears, ofc ik you love descendants and mal and Ben in particular, who are your favs outside of the core four and why? What are your fav ships besides bal and why? And what are your biggest hopes for rise of red? I hope you have a great holiday and enjoy your gift tomorrow!! Sorry again for the miscommunication!! -gcwca secret Santa

don't worry! i was thinking you were busy or something so i didn't say anything either sdjhdhdsj i know tumblr tends to be the worst functioning website on the planet but we're all still here so i guess that says something about us

okay this is gonna be a long one buckle up

1 - they were in a show called que talento! (yes with an exclamation point) and they were basically playing themselves if they went to high school and were still amateurs lol i really liked the theme song but only the show version bc the studio version sounds awful sorry bruno i know you produced it but it sucks

2 - out of the core four (and ben) i have to say uma is a huge fav for me, probably my 3rd favorite character of the franchise. when i heard china anne mcclain was back on disney channel to play her i was sooooo excited and i can't imagine anyone better for the role. i love that she has such a strong sense of justice and community even if her ways aren't necessarily the best. obviously i love that the franchise makes sure to let us know she and mal are two sides of the same coin and if they weren't both so proud and stubborn they'd be friends, but i like that uma isn't just a carbon copy of mal like they're very much two different characters. uma is driven by collectiveness and she cares so hard about everybody it's almost aggressive and she's such a great example of leadership on the isle (as acknowledged by both ben in d2 and mal in d3 (and as a side note i'm obsessed with mal, ben and uma's dynamic and i could ramble on about it for the next 10 years but that's not the point)) and if i don't stop now this is gonna turn into a mal vs uma analysis

3 - i really really love the idea that mal and uma are exes. like to me that's just canon and no one is gonna tell me otherwise bc it doesn't contradict anything! "and how would you know, mal? you've never had [a boyfriend]" so in my head she could have dated uma idc it was probably quick and messy bc they would have this toxic power struggle which ultimately ends in mal not letting her join the gang. i think they would absolutely kill each other as a couple now bc of how similar they are but as exes? hell yeah that's a vibe

as for present day relationships i'm a fan of harry and uma getting together at some point in the future bc lbr those two are in a weird situationship lmao i also love jay and gil!!! very unexpected but jay realizing how jaded he's become after seeing the beauty of gil experiencing things with such wonder and then deciding to do a gap year so they can travel the world together is something that can actually be so personal

ALSO i'm not usually one for crackships but harry x evie had me like 👀 in d3 bc sorry wtf is this

for the record i don't think they should realistically get together, i don't think they'd work out, but the chemistry is there and for some reason kenny chose to highlight it so idk

4 - oooo so rise of red. here's the thing. i'm fully expecting this movie to be bad sdjdshjdjhsjdh i'm mostly worried about these seemingly amateur writers they got. like. even if descendants is its own little fanfiction thing let's at least try to make things coherent inside its own universe. the fact that they all went to school together defeats the purpose of beast UNITING THE KINGDOMS but well anyway let's see what they're gonna do

i like jennifer phang as a director though! she did two eps of cloak and dagger (one of which is 2x01, one of my personal favs) and the pilot of secrets of sulphur springs, so i know she's competent. and mark hofeling is coming back which is GREAT bc changing the production designer would be a terrible move for a spin-off partly set in present day. i just wish kara saun would come back to do the costumes but oh well

i'm so excited to see your gift!!!!! i hope you have a great holiday as well!!!!!!

[discotenny]

Ramuda really is such an interesting person to study. He does require the candy to live. But he will go to a cafe and order a giant sundae or assortment of sweets. Does all candy have a similar effect to the ones made by Chuuo (Rei?) , only weaker, or does he just enjoy sweets as well? Or is he just keeping up the facade or enjoying cute sweet things? I think he does enjoy sweet things by nature and this mostly isn't for ahow, but I wonder if his tolerance to other more healthier foods is different. Do they hurt him to some degree if he eats too much? Would he have to compensate with more sweets after?? 🤔..

I have considered starting a writing blog several, several times... but I am a very flaky person who runs when someone acknowledges me without anonymity. I've tried to change that but it seems I can't beat it so I would rather share ideas quietly like this, instead of having a blog I'll just delete out of panic as soon as someone follows it 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

Ramuda truly is interesting!!! I believe it's just the candies that have the 'keep you alive' effect for him, which is why he was so desperate to get more, esp in the battle between the clones that happened. I'm still unsure of how he got more since I haven't read the specific drama track of when it happened.

Something in the back of my head tells me they either stole more candies from the Ramu clones or somehow got Rei to give them more. Unsure though fdjsjifelwfewf.

I think it's also interesting, especially with a character as inherently deceitful as Ramu, to say that he orders those cutesy and sweet things out in public- just because he enjoys them.

Think of it- a lot of his original outside persona hinges upon being seen as unserious, silly, too cute to be suspicious in any way. It'd be natural to assume that he fits his aesthetics to do the same.

But if that were true, and everything is just related to his persona, why would his bedroom be the same aesthetic? You'd think his bedroom would be the only place he can be feel, maybe not even decorating it at all if he doesn't see himself as human in the first place. But in merch and (I think) in the manga, his bedroom fits the aesthetic of his seemingly 'fake' persona.

I think, Ramuda truly does enjoy all the sweets and all the pastels and whatnot he surrounds himself with. Sure, he may have been consuming to survive and keep up appearances, but at this point in the story it has to be just him wanting to do it.

I think it's sweet to imagine that what used to make him think he was inhuman (the fake persona and his outward appearance) becomes the something he truly enjoys, something that makes him feel human

DID THAT MAKE SENSE TO ANYONE >,< WERE MY THOUGHTS COHERENT?? IDK !!! I went on a lore binge read after this ask ngl and still didn't come across an answer as to where he got more candy from fdsfdsadfas.

And it's completely okay to share ideas anonymously!!! Sorry if the suggestion seemed pushy anon >,< You're really creative and genuinely a really insightful writer. Any thoughts or ramblings are welcomed to the inbox at anytime <3

[vampirephlebotomy]

I realise that was an old post but. Please tell us about dave lalonde and rose strider. The People Need To Know

Sorry that I'M getting to this late but yeah, I don't mind buddy. I'll toss it under a cut though, I dunno how long this will get because originally this "essay" was a 1 A.M. rant I sent to a friend (hello to you if you're reading this buddy) but I'm going to try and make it actually coherent and normal for you. Because it was a bit of an insane ramble I kept getting distracted on.

So. Guardianswap Dave Lalonde:

Eccentric, as all Lalondes are. Probably finds himself drawn particularly to odd art and paintings, and despises Mom's statues as Rose does

Reads more than he interacts with others/is slightly shut off and often doesn't respond because of this. He tries not to seem cold when he does get back to his friends, though

Drinks tea often, writes odd stories and often muses about changing the world in some way, yet isn't ever really sure how he could really impact things so they stay as musings

Translates anger into visual mediums like painting but it never really goes away, frustrated at almost everything and everyone but has gotten very good at concealing it unless poked and prodded too much. Compares himself too often to the artists he has paintings of/is inspired by/etc.

This anger at the world and everyone mainly stems from his issues with Mom Lalonde and her neglect, and this leads into being a Rage player instead of taking up Light or staying Time. I've never once payed attention to the "gender locking" of certain classes (its weird as fuck to me) so yeah, I think he'd be a Witch of Rage. He craves control/command/whatever word you prefer for Witches over just something so much and it's shown in that. Fight me on that or whatever.

His chumhandle becomes [aC]: airbrushedCholeric (referencing a painting method and being bad tempered/irritable).

And on the other side, Guardianswap Rose Strider:

Has an interest in entomology, (that I would say is bordering on obsession but she's just autistic). Especially involving raising bugs and pinning them after death and learning about them and their behaviours, and framing them.

Still plays violin and is scarily good at it. It's one of those things she just threw herself into so hard it's unnerving to Bro. She makes it like, her life mission at a certain age

Knife collection instead of the whole sword thing. I don't have much reasoning for this other than I feel it in my soul

Not phased by the puppets, she mostly thinks they're stupid now and has used this against Bro more than once to terrify him.

Probably has thought about eating a person

I established that I think she would be a Time player instead of keeping Light, despite Dave Lalonde becoming a Rage player, but I do think she would keep the Seer class. So, Seer of Time.

Her chumhandle becomes [tC]: trackingCoronatus, referencing an Orchid Mantis, (Hymenopus Coronatus) and, obviously, tracking someone down/stalking.

And uhhh I'm pretty sure that's it. Questions/comments/concerns are welcome, come scream at me for all I care, my inbox stays fresh and open a sexy 24 hours 7 days a week. Here's a pic of my cat for the road, stay frosty duderino

[moibakadesu]

Same anon as before (make a nickname for me if you see it be), sorry to reply in your box and not in repost, im just nervous 😭

Honestly, I genuinely think some of Harukas behaviour stems from his neglectful mother and not just his autism. He very clearly shows skills that are typical for his age and some people act like he can't read or write at all. He's not stupid. He's delayed, mostly bc of a lack of a support system as a kid.

I believe that like many childhood neglect victims he's mentally trapped, where he has the capability of maturity but doesn't act that way in an effort to preserve his innocence, (also why I think he's lying a bit about his age).

Now, to my favourite thing to talk about, his bpd symptoms. I could go on but I'll mention the most prominent ones, aka his abandonment issues and his fp like relationship with Muu. I see so many fucking ppl calling him a yandere and shit and it's just annoying bc that term inherently demonises individuals w bpd as it's literally an ableist stereotype.

Alr sorry for rambling!! I doubt this is even coherent, all three topics are things I've went through/have btw

Okay bye bye :>

No worries "based Haruka anon", I do understand. And I absolutely agree, honestly Haruka's mother/his parents are the true culprits of his case in my eyes, because nothing of this would have happened if Haruka would have gotten the proper support and treatment that he needed. I think that is why my heart hurts for him so much, he really is a victim of his circumstances. Also so much agreed on the thing about people acting as if he is stupid ... that is another incredibly ableist thing. He needs a bit more time and help compared to a neurotypical person and that's about it. I'm also on the same boat when it comes to his age, I think for him it is a mix of actually having lost track (I highly doubt his birthdays got celebrated at home) and him just picking an age where you are usually not yet perceived as a full fledged adult. I can easily see him being 19 or maybe in his early twenties already. And I also thought about BPD Haruka before. I am always torn between DPD and BPD when it comes to him, because both could work for him well in the way he gets attached to people and acts to keep these connections intact. I myself don't have either of these, but I had multiple partners with BPD, so I'm not unfamiliar with it. I do have to say in my eyes his connection with Muu and her most likely NPD is still a match made in hell and I hope it will not go in t3, because it isn't good for either of them. Not to unbox too much personal trauma, but having gotten out of a codependency myself about half a year ago their case reallly hits a nerve, because I see a lot of things reflected in there.