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#I'm reread the first book and you know... I'm much too told for ya now
mordred · 2 years
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Having a little breakdown over some books I read when I was 12....you know....life
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maddiesbookshelves · 3 months
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📚🗓 Mid-Year Freakout Tag 2024 🗓📚
Thank you @cleopatras-library for the tag ☺️
How many books have you read so far?
10 novels, 2 graphic novels and uh, like 10 or more manga? I don't track all of them
What genres have you read?
Fantasy, historical, romance and mystery. Sometimes several of those in the same book
Best book you’ve read so far in 2024?
Probably The Briar Book Of The Dead, by A. G. Slatter if we're talking about novels only. But the graphic novel Rivages Lointains by Anaïs Flogny is just so good, I'm obsessed with it. If you can, please read it, it's French but it's been translated into English and Italian
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Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2023?
The only ones I've read were either manga or the full Dr. Greta Helsing trilogy by Vivian Shaw, which I've read back to back. So either that (book 3, Grave Importance), or the manga Requiem Of The Rose King, by Aya Kanno, that I reread and finally finished after YEARS (yes the ending ended ME)
New release you haven’t read yet, but want to
There are way too many, and I keep seeing more at work, I'm gonna die of frustration. Evocation by S. T. Gibson is eyeing me very strongly because of the internet. As is The Spare Man by Mary Robinette Kowal, from where it's sitting on my coworker's display (it only came out in February in France)
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Most anticipated release for the second half of the year
I don't know honestly. The one book I was really waiting for this year was A Crane Among Wolves because I loved June Hur's previous books, and since I've read it now (it's very good btw), I'm not waiting for anything else
Update I learned something as I was writing this post: HEAVENLY TIRANT MIGHT STILL BE COMING OUT THIS YEAR???? DECEMBER 24????? MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO US???? HELLO?????? After Xiran told us the release date had been pushed back I thought for sure it would come out next year but apparently not so YEAH THAT'S MY MOST ANTICIPATED RELEASE OF THE YEAR, PERIOD
Biggest disappointment
It's a toss between How To Kill Your Family by Bella Mackie, and A Far Wilder Magic by Allison Saft, for reasons that are very different. If it wasn't for that ending, How To Kill Your Family wouldn't even be there but unfortunately. And A Far Wilder Magic just wasn't for me. I didn't expect it to be YA romantasy so I was sorely disappointed
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Biggest surprise
Probably A Sign Of Affection by Suu Morishita? Don't get me wrong, I love shoujo (I know, I don't like romance novels but I love shoujo, it makes no sense, don't look at me) and I thought I would like it but I didn't expect to like it this much
Book that made you cry
I cry so often when I read/watch/listen to things that it all gets mixed up in my memories. I think I cried for Rivages Lointains, I definitely cried for Requiem Of The Rose King HAHA. I might have cried for Run Away With Me, Girl by Battan, I'm not sure. All of those are manga by the way, I don't remember if I cried reading a novel this year
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Book that made you happy
The Bandit Queens made me happy because the ending was great (unlike How To Kill Your Family) which healed me a little
Most beautiful book cover of a book you’ve read so far this year
Aaaaaaa I don't know. The cover (and sprayed edges) for the French edition of A Far Wilder Magic are a big part of why I even bought it in the first place, but also A Crane Among Wolves...... And of course Aya Kanno's art is just so beautiful, all the covers for the Requiem Of The Rose King series are 👌
How are you doing with your year’s goal?
I had set a goal of 40 on goodreads/storygraph but I might have underestimated how work would impact my reading habits. But also, I'm not dead set on reaching that goal, I just want to read
What books do you need to read by the end of the year?
I'd love to read more of the books I already own because it's becoming a problem. Other than that, there's no urgent need
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That was fun so if anyone wants to join in, please feel free!
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Book recs: Similar to but less sad than TSOA
Hello everyone! @lordeteams requested some book recommendations that are not as sad as The Song of Achilles so here we go. I read a lot of books and since 2019 I've kept a running list of what I've read so honestly I'll take any excuse to subject people to my interests🤗 List is below the cut, not in any particular order (except from the first entry which is my current favorite), and includes NA, YA, and adult fiction. If you're curious about the distinction I'll refer you to this (sadly, now-deleted) tweet from Maggie Stiefvater:
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One Last Stop (Casey McQuiston, NA): This one is brand new and instantly became a favorite. F/F romance in which August Landry, newly transplanted to Brooklyn, meets Jane Su on her morning commute. Turns out, Jane is stuck on the train and has been since the 70s, but has no memory of how it happened or of her old life. Part romance, part time-travel mystery, but entirely a love letter to queer communities everywhere. Found family trope abounds with August's roommates and coworkers, which include drag queens, people of every flavor of queer, and a real life psychic, all of whom are ready and willing to help solve the mystery of why Jane is on the train and how to fix it. In the process, August learns things about her own family, as well as events in American queer history that few people remember today. I really cannot express enough how much I love this book. Please read it.
Red, White, and Royal Blue (Casey McQuiston, NA): Odds are, if you've heard of Casey McQuiston, it was because of her first book (this one). M/M romance about Alex, son of the first female US President, and Henry, prince of England. Enemies to friends to lovers, featuring queer self-discovery, coming out, PR/corporate closeting (hello, larries!) and just a delight. This is a very different queer story from OLS - OLS is a romance, but more plot-heavy and the romance isn't the entire focus. In RWRB, the romance is the plot and it reads like fanfiction which is very fun.
The Raven Cycle (series, Maggie Stiefvater, YA): This series is a character-driven, coming-of-age, found family story about a bunch of weird-ass teenagers (affectionate), magic, prophecy, and Welsh kings. This is the rare story in which every single main character plays a critical role in the plot and grows and changes with the story. You will fall in love with all of them and their relationships with one another. Plus, the worldbuilding is incredible and has such an intricate mythology that you'll want to reread just to get the details. Followed by the Dreamer Trilogy, of which two books have been published, but I've only read the first one so far.
All for the Game (series, Nora Sakavic, YA): This is the series that got me back into reading for fun five years ago and as such it holds a special place in my heart. The plot is wacky and convoluted - college athletics, a made-up sport, a kid on the run from his mob boss father - but don't let that discourage you. Hella found family. (Are you seeing a pattern?) I will warn you, this deals with some pretty heavy stuff, including torture, abuse, addiction, sexual violence, and more. Here's a comprehensive list of trigger warnings, with detailed descriptions at the bottom. It's intense, but the friendships and romances make it worth the read imo.
Grishaverse (series, Leigh Bardugo, YA): This is actually three series: the Shadow and Bone trilogy, the Six of Crows duology, and the King of Scars duology (which I haven't yet read). If you've seen Shadow and Bone, the S&B trilogy covers the Alina storyline, while SOC covers Kaz, Inej, Jesper, Nina, and Matthias. S&B is a chosen one/coming of age story, while SOC is found family committing heists. It's great.
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Benjamin Alire Saenz, YA): Coming of age M/M romance. Set in the 1980s in El Paso, it describes the friends to lovers journey of Ari and Dante over several years, as well as Ari's journey of self-discovery. It is the most beautiful book and one of my comfort reads. There's some themes of homophobia and violence, but with a happy ending.
Carry On (Rainbow Rowell, YA): This is basically Harry Potter fanfiction, but better because (a) it doesn't take itself too seriously and (b) the author is not a violent transphobe. Seriously, this book is so fun. It's a twist on the chosen one trope because Simon, said Chosen One, is just spectacularly bad at what he is supposedly destined to be. Plus you have an enemies to lovers storyline, which is my personal favorite trope. Followed by Wayward Son, which is literally a road trip AU, and Any Way the Wind Blows, which will be released next month.
The Queen's Thief (series, Megan Whalen Turner, YA): Fantasy series centered on Eugenides, who is very proud of being a great thief but also wants to be famous, two goals which are not really compatible. This series is interesting because every novel is told from a different character's point of view in an increasingly zoomed-out lens such that you're seeing how Eugenides' influence grows over time and space. The setting is vaguely based on the ancient Mediterranean region, but with a mythology all its own.
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (Taylor Jenkins Reid, adult): This is a frame story in which aged Hollywood star Evelyn Hugo, famously tight-lipped about her personal life, hand selects a young journalist, Monique Grant, to finally tell her story. Evelyn tells Monique all about her life - how she became an actress in the mid-twentieth century, how she got involved (and uninvolved) with all seven of her former husbands, and who was the true love of her life. There are some sad moments for sure, as it's a retrospective on the very long and very full life of an actress at what she knows is the end of hers. But it's such a good story and worth the bittersweet tones.
This Is How You Lose the Time War (Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone, adult): Sci-fi novel told by Red and Blue's letters to one another across time and space. They are on opposing sides of the Time War and as they perform their respective missions, they leave letters for the other to find. Their letters start out as "I'm coming for you, you better run" but then eventually turn to friendship and then love. Ultimate enemies to lovers. It's a short novel but you'll read it again and again to pick up more details. It's so good.
The House in the Cerulean Sea (TJ Klune, NA): This book feels like a warm hug. Linus Baker is essentially a child protective services worker, overseeing the orphanages housing magical children. He is then assigned to the most remote orphanage in the system, in which six dangerous children reside, to determine whether any or all of these children are capable of bringing about the end of the world. Once more, with feeling: FOUND FAMILY. Also nice because it's a metaphor for queerness that also features canon queer characters.
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January 2021 Books
I tend not to come to dislike or hating things very easily. Generally, the things I try, I can find a lot I like in them and go with the flow. I feel like it doesn’t make me very good about recommending things because I’m not too picky once I get invested in things, but here are my takes on the books I’ve read this month. (I can be super picky about what I pick up in the first place, but once I overcome that and get a foothold in something, the above applies.)
Anyway, belatedly, here’s last months reads and blurbs on my thoughts under the cut (long)
1. A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas
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I somehow didn’t realize this was YA. It has the plot simplicity I’m used to seeing in YA but it definitely got darker and more sexual than I would have expected for the genre. I actually rather appreciate this series for that reason. It did some things alternatively I didn't expect and was quite delighted by it. Fantasy, romance (f/m), fairies, light political intrigue (setup for book 2), etc.. I have since read book 2 and would have caveats about this depending on who was interested.
2. This is How you Lose a Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone
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This was amazing! A quick read of poetic language and dark love across sci fi warring factions. Primarily told through a series of letters exchanged back and forth between protagonists and focused on the characters.
3. Sparrow Hill Road by Seanan McGuire
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What a great ghost story! it's told a lot like a series of short stories that come together into a winding narrative of a ghost's journey through the roads of America. Heavily American mythology vibes. Fascinating world building, intriguing characters, and beautiful message and arc. I'm thinking I might pick up more from this series in October. I got pointed in this book's direction due to how the way the book is structure feeling like a great depiction of trauma and how things get segmented and out of order and intangible, and it was just a really neat book. Would definitely recommend.
4. No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us by Rachel Louise Snyder
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I’ve now read a fair amount on the topic of domestic abuse, but they have largely focused on the individuals involved, and while this book does pick particular individuals as an example of extreme DV, this book zoomed out and looked at this problem from a broader perspective, talking about stats and looking at environmental and systemic factors. It’s a dark book that gets heavy and dissects sensitive situations but didn’t feel like it failed to humanize the issue, sometimes more so than a reader may expect. I definitely found it an insightful and interesting read. It’s the first book in quite a long time that was a physical book I held in my hands. I expected I might struggle too much between it not being audio and being nonfiction, but I moved through it quite quickly.
5. Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins
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This was a re-read. It’s a cute little wlw class romance. I think I read it in 2018, and it was fun to revisit. It’s a quick read with some enjoyable characters, and for those who do audiobooks, some cute accents. 
6. The Magician’s Assistant by Ann Patchett
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This was a beautiful story about grief and the way our connections open us up to new possibilities and changes in our lives if only we’ll reach out grasp them. It’s a slow paced story, functioning mostly in the internal monologue of our protagonist dealing with the loss of the man she’s loved and the things she comes to find out she didn’t know about him. 
7. Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
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This was another reread, doing a chapter an evening with Empty. It helped so much to listen to this a second time between being able to see the pieces put down and not listening to it at such stressful times and in such a fragmented way. I love how it is somehow a puzzle, a haunting, and a journey of growth in an old relationship that seemed doomed to fail in so many ways. Plus I love big, sarcastic, sentimental butch disaster Gideon so goddamn much. XD 
8. Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova
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This was very enjoyable, but I can definitely tell that I’ve outgrown a lot of YA. It’s not that there’s anything wrong these stories-I would have loved to have grown up with this book-it’s just that it lacked a complexity I’m getting used to and that I look for in these stories. I’m so glad though to be seeing more writers of color writing experiences and characters more like them getting attention in the literary world, and I will continue to find reading these stories worth it to get glimpses into that, but I wish I saw more of this sort of hype for these writers around more adult books. It’s out there I’m sure; I just have to find it yet. Working on it! But for a YA reader I think this is a great story. I like the worldbuilding so much and the costs of the magic and the journey. I might still have to check out book two when I need an easier read. 
9. Well, That Escalated Quickly: Memoirs and Mistakes of an Accidental Activist by Franchesca Ramsey
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I’ve been holding onto a hard copy borrowed from a friend of this for well over a year now. I got this book around the same time I got my hands on So you Want to Talk About Race and thought they were going to have very similar contents. I was incorrect. Well, That Escalated Quickly is much more about what it means to have a popular online presence. It was a really great read in a time when being online is, right now, for many of us, the only consistent way we can interact with others. I really appreciated her sharing her stories of her mess ups both as someone who needed to be called out and as someone who, for a time, was considered a ‘call out queen’ and her thoughts on community responsibility and bearing responsibility on both ends of those spectrums: it’s not just a person who messes up who bears a responsibility to act with community goals in mind to reduce harm, but also the responsibility of those who call out and when and how those might look for most effectiveness for change, personal wellbeing, and community responsibility. (The term community responsibility I’m using probably comes more from Conflict is not Abuse than this book, but I could very well see this book being a great primer for Conflict is not Abuse and might rec this to someone not yet ready for the later.) 
10. A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Maas
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This book was a roller coaster. I started off really excited about some ideas and themes it was exploring that I don’t really see done hardly ever and was really intrigued. About a third of the way through, it did something that I felt very much undermined one of the themes I was enjoying a lot, and up until the very end, I was very close to deciding against reading book three. At pretty much that last minute though, it intrigued me enough to want to see how a thing would be played out and a resolution would be found. I don’t even know if I’d say I super liked the book and thus series by the time I was done reading this one, but I was intrigued. Sometimes I get the feeling the author doesn’t trust her audience and spells certain things out way too much, sometimes to the detriment of the plot, and I’m really not a fan of the ‘so totally outclassed, all odds staked against the heroes’ thing that’s pulled in this book that comes out of nowhere and when this time we actually have powerful characters but here we are. I don’t think I’d actually recommend the series to others unless I knew their tastes aligned well, but I think I will be finishing it. 
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the-awkward-outlaw · 4 years
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Hey there! I'm not sure if you've seen this movie ( Mr. & Mrs. Smith ) but can you write a Mr. & Mrs. Morgan fight scene against each other that leads them to having rough sex? Reader can be with the O'Driscolls gang or something, that makes them fight. Up to you.
Hello Anon! I have seen Mr and Mrs Smith once and it was a long time ago, but I remember the general plot. Hopefully I have kept within your idea of this and it does your request justice. Note, I am not a huge fan of rough sex so the smut might be super tame in comparison to other writers. 
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Warnings: swearing, smut, high angst
You stare down at the table, your fingers brushing the cut-out article from a newspaper. There’s no picture to the article, just a header. “Van der Linde Gang still at large”. You’ve read it a hundred times by now. It talks about the notorious Dutch Van der Linde, Hosea Matthews, and a few other names, including your husband’s, Arthur Morgan. A large amount of money is being offered for each person mentioned, Dutch being the highest at $20,000. Arthur himself has a decent amount of $5,000. 
You were angry when you first read the article, when Colm brought it to your attention. You’ve run with his gang since you were just a teen with your older brother. It was your brother’s idea to join the O’Driscoll’s, he’d disguised you as a boy since Colm didn’t take women on. You already knew how to shoot a gun and ride a horse luckily, which was fine since Colm didn’t allow men into his gang who couldn’t do both. Although you were disguised as a boy, it didn’t take long for your real gender to be revealed. One of Colm’s boys spotted you when you were bathing in a river and let your secret out. Colm almost shot you in the head, stating women just slowed them down and you’d deceived him. Your brother defended you, pointing out that you were one of the best shots. Colm hesitatingly agreed, but he didn’t want you camping with his boys, declaring you would be little more than a distraction. 
As payment for your work and loyalty to the gang, he told you to live at one of his cabins he used a frequent hideout. You weren’t thrilled with this seeming demotion on your status, but you knew Colm’s temper had an extremely short fuse, so you didn’t argue. Only a few weeks after you were stationed, Colm collected you to help him investigate an incident at Six Point Cabin, another one of his hideouts. He nearly stationed you there and was thinking of moving you there now. When you two arrived, the place was littered with the bodies of your gang, including your brother’s. It crushed you seeing your brother like that and Colm offered no words of comfort. He was angry and he knew immediately this was Van der Linde’s work.  
You heard the name Van der Linde thrown around enough times. The man was a professional at stealing Colm’s scores. Not that Colm’s record against Dutch was clean. You heard the other men talk about how he killed Dutch’s lover Annabelle. Seems the two men were constantly trying to rob and kill each other. Six Point Cabin was when Colm gave you the article, stating that he was going to come up with a plan to somehow get a hold of Dutch and take him and his boys to Blackwater, turn them in for all that money, and then the gang would flee down to Mexico. He told you to take point in this cabin from now on as the Van der Linde’s were unlikely to return. 
The article hadn’t been a surprise to you. What had been a shock was reading your husband’s name. You’d been married to Arthur for over a year and he never mentioned he was in a gang, nonetheless Colm’s adversarial gang. Sure, he’d revealed before you were married that he was an outlaw, which was why he couldn’t stay in one place for too long. You’d lied too, stating you were a waitress in the Valentine saloon. You covered your knowledge of fighting by saying your family were hunters before they’d died in a terrible snowstorm, which was partially true. You had enough knowledge of hunting that he bought it. Now you’re conflicted though. When you first read the article, you thought maybe there’d been some misidentity or perhaps it was a different Arthur Morgan. However, plagued by fears, you dug into the Blackwater massacre and your Arthur was unquestionably the one mentioned in the article. Now you’re torn between your loyalty to your gang, whom your brother died for, and your loyalty to your husband. 
Arthur’s a wonderful husband, there’s no question about that. Were he not pursued by the law, he’d definitely be happy to settle down with you and make a proper family life for you. Many nights you’ve spent with him talking about how things could be if neither of you were so wanted (though he knew nothing of the price on your head). Arthur visits at least once every two weeks, sometimes having to travel for hours in order to do so, and he stays for a few days. When he’s with you, you both spend the time with lots of cuddles, kisses and sex. Arthur’s a pro at knowing how to satisfy you and you know exactly which of his buttons to push to make him fall head-over-heels for you all over again. 
When he arrives for each visit, he always brings something for you. Usually it’s money since he believes you’re a struggling waitress in Valentine (which you don’t try convincing him otherwise). He often brings flowers, books, jewelry, and other kinds of supplies. You always offer him lots of types of food since you spend most of your time at Six Point Cabin. You learned to cook from a young age and you prefer using fresh ingredients. You have enough time to collect fresh game and herbs too, being a watcher of Colm’s hideout. Arthur’s your top fan when it comes to your food, stating you could cook for a governor. He never leaves hungry after visiting you and you make sure his satchel is laden with snacks you’ve made from scratch. 
You pick up the article and reread it, your stomach clenching when you read Arthur’s name again. Colm visited only a few days ago. It’s been a couple of weeks since the attack on Six Point. You’d asked him during his visit if he knew which one of Dutch’s boys was responsible for the ambush. 
“Oh Dutch himself wouldn’t do this,” Colm stated. “Killing my men and your brother weren’t important enough for him to grace his presence on.” He inspected the bodies of the men, noting how many of them have been shot in the eye. “I bet that sniveling coward Kieran led his boys here, but this work says his number one gun led the charge.” 
“Who’s his number one gun?” you ask, praying he won’t say who you’re thinking it is. 
“Name’s Arthur Morgan. He’s this real big guy, almost a shame he ain’t runnin’ with us. We’d do real well with a fella like him.”
You wanted to vomit when Colm said this. The thought that your husband was the one who killed your brother was a detestable idea. However, as time has passed since Colm told you Arthur was the likely culprit, it’s begun to fester in your mind. If Colm finds out Arthur is your husband, he’ll shoot you before you even have the chance to tell him you’ve had no dealings with the Van der Linde gang. Yet if Arthur finds out your place with the O’Driscoll’s, you’re just as frightened. You’re much more frightened of losing him than Colm killing you. The man’s a bastard and you’ve only stayed in his gang because there is no getting out of his gang. To get out means to die. Not only that, your brother died for them. It’d be an insult to his memory to abandon this gang. 
Arthur’s visited once since you learned of your brother’s death. He didn’t act any different, but he knew something was off about you. You blamed it on just feeling under the weather and he coddled you, clearly trying to help you feel better. You couldn’t tell him though that you felt horrible because you were terrified you might be looking at your brother’s killer. He’d left two days later when he was sure you were feeling better (you lied and said you were). Colm came by a few days after that. 
“Colm, you still thinking of moving on with this plan to capture Van der Linde?” you asked, hoping he’d changed his mind. 
“Course. That’s a lot of money sitting on his head. We’re gonna run down to Mexico when we got him. Why you askin’, Y/N? Got somethin’ to say?” 
Your stomach felt cold when he asked you this and something in his eyes glittered accusingly. “N-no, sir. Just wanted to know the plan since I’m not running with you all the time anymore.” 
“I see,” he said greasily. “Well, I went around talkin’ to some folk, mentioned they met a feller sounds an awful lot like Morgan in the Valentine bar. They said he was drunk and talkin’ about how amazing his wife is. Now I ain’t spoken with Morgan in a long time, but I don’t recall him ever being married. Not only that, Malken and Henderson saw him in this area only a few days ago. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would ya?” 
You put on a poker face as best you could. “Course not, Colm. I don’t even know what Morgan looks like. All I know is what you’ve told me about him.”
“So if I brought you a newspaper article saying he’s been arrested and going to hang real soon, you wouldn’t care?” 
That’s when you know you’re secret’s out. Somehow, Colm’s found out. However, you won’t confess. Not yet. To confess now would promise a bullet into your skull. “No, I wouldn’t care, Colm. One less Van der Linde we’d have to worry about.” 
He nodded and then said he was leaving. “I’ll be back in a few days. I think this cabin ain’t a very good spot for you no more. The boys and I will collect you when we’ve found somewhere more… suitable.” 
Without a doubt, Colm’s promising to come back and kill you in front of the entire gang. An example of what will happen to anyone fraternizing with Dutch’s boys. You ponder on the wisdom of running away, but several of Colm’s boys are expert tracksmen. They’ll find you before you have the chance to even get to a different state. You realize the safest place for you is to be within Arthur’s gang. It might mean this Dutch will kill you, but Arthur sounds like he holds a high place of authority and he might be able to protect you. From what Colm was making it sound like, he’s been spending a lot of time in Valentine. That’s where you are now, sitting at the bar in the saloon with the article Colm gave you sitting in front of you. You throw your whiskey back when the door opens. 
“Darlin’, what ya doin’ here?” says a familiar voice. 
Looking over, you can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. “Arthur, I need your help with something. Ride home with me. I’ll explain, but I have some questions for you. Questions I need you to be honest about.” 
His face is serious. “A’right. Lead the way.” 
You don’t speak the entire ride back to your cabin, you’re not sure how to bring the subject up to him. He’s going to be angry, sure, when you tell him the truth. However, it’s the only way you can protect yourself since Colm’s already planning to kill you. When the cabin’s peaking through the trees, the river burbles happily not far from it. You dismount and take a few steps away from him. Finally, you turn. 
“Arthur, did you recently visit a place called Six Point Cabin a few weeks back? Maybe ran into a bunch of boys you might call the O’Driscoll’s?” 
“How you know about that, Y/N?” 
You don’t answer him straight away. “Did you see a man with a big patch of dark skin on the right side of his neck?” you ask. Your brother had a huge birthmark on his neck, which gave him the nickname Pinto in the gang. 
“Again, how do you know this, Y/N?”
“Just answer the question, Arthur, please!” 
He blinks at you, his hands on his hips. “Yeah, yeah I think I saw a feller with a mark like that.” 
“Did you kill him?” 
He sighs. “Yes I killed him, but he was shootin’ at me, darlin’, so it was him or me. Now why you askin’ me about this?” 
Your eyes tear up a bit and you bite your lip. “He was my brother, Arthur.”
His brow lowers. “You never told me you had a brother, nonetheless one who was an O’Driscoll? Those boys are nothin’ but bastards who have no moral code.” 
“Funny, he said the same thing about your gang.” 
“How’d you find out about my gang?” 
You wring your hands. “I… read about it. In the paper.”
Arthur takes a menacing step towards you. “So your brother was an O’Driscoll and I shot him in the head. But like I said, he was shootin’ at me.” 
“From what I heard, you were the ones who ambushed him and the others. Sounds like he was just defending himself, Arthur.” 
As if on cue, you both whip out your pistols and point them at each other. Arthur’s eyes gleam with pain and betrayal. “You’re an O’Driscoll, ain’t ya?” 
“And you’re a Van der Linde! Pretty high up in the hierarchy too from what Colm said. Your boss has been stealin’ a lot of scores from us, we’ve had to work twice as hard to get by.” 
“Yeah, and your boss has killed a lot of us, including Dutch’s girl. Not only that, they’ve stolen scores from us too. Which one is harder to replace, darlin’? People or money?” 
“You tell me, Arthur. You killed my brother! He practically raised me and if it wasn’t for him, I’d have died years ago.” 
Arthur narrows his eyes, he almost seems sorry. “So what you gonna do, darlin’? Kill me? Your brother’s first mistake was joinin’ Colm’s boys. He’s honestly lucky he lasted that long, as are you.” 
His words sting and you fire first, not aiming to kill him but your anger has fueled your trigger. He dodges behind a tree and then fires back at you. A boulder provides cover for you. The next few moments pass quickly and you exchange gunshots, darting between trees and boulders. You’re standing on the porch of the cabin and Arthur gets a particularly good shot, barely missing your foot. You hop out of the way and end up crashing into the cabin. Now you’re truly screwed. The cabin’s just one big room and there’s nowhere to hide. You back into it and stand close to the fireplace. 
Arthur marches into the door, his teeth bared and his eyes flashing with anger. You point your gun and pull the trigger, but it clicks. You’re out of ammo. You pull the trigger again and the same thing happens. 
“Time to stop runnin’, Y/N,” he says, his pistol pointed at you. 
You lower your gun, panting, and then drop it. “You’re right. Go ahead then, Arthur. I’m a dead woman anyways. Colm… he found out. About you and me. One of his boys must have talked. So even if you decide to just take pity on me and leave now, I’ll be dead in a few days. He’s coming for me, plans to make an example I imagine. Please, Arthur. Just pull the trigger. If I have to pick between a quick death and a slow one, I’ll choose quick.” 
He breathes hard for a moment and then lowers his gun. “I ain’t gonna kill ya, sweetheart. Your brother may have been a fool for gettin’ involved with Colm, but sounds like he cared about ya a lot and you’re only alive now because of him. I’m sorry I shot him, darlin’, but even though we’re in different gang, I made an oath when I married ya. I promised to protect ya. I ain’t lettin’ that bastard kill ya.” 
He walks slowly over to you, holstering his guns. You look up at him, a flicker of hope rising in your chest. 
“Arthur, Colm will know you’re protecting me. He’ll hunt you down even more than he is now. He… he’s planning on getting to Dutch somehow, turn him into the authorities in Blackwater, collect the money and run to Mexico.”
“That ain’t happenin’, darlin’. Dutch ain’t that stupid. But you and I…” the energy between you crackles. “You and I have a lot to discuss if this marriage is gonna continue to work. I want it to work. I love ya still, despite all this.” 
You leap forward and kiss him hard. The last thing you want is for your marriage to end because you made some poor choices in your youth. Arthur’s arms wind around you and then tangle into your hair. He pulls your head back and kisses your neck, his tongue coming out. Still fueled by adrenaline, you feel a sudden urge to fuck him. 
Panting slightly, you look Arthur in the eyes. “How about we start working on fixin’ this marriage right now, Arthur?”
Arthur suddenly rips your shirt open and tips you backwards on the table. He kisses you hard as he strips off your shirt and your chemise, his hands automatically finding your nipples. He’s only seen and felt them a hundred times before now, but he acts like this is the first time. He kisses you hard and then he leans up, his hands leaving your body. 
“Strip,” he says as he begins removing his own clothes. You can’t help but giggle as you stand up to take off your pants. As soon as you’re both naked, Arthur grabs you and puts you back onto the table. He kisses you as his cock brushes your folds. You bite his lower lip and he pulls away just slightly so your lips can’t touch anymore. 
“I want ya to touch yourself,” he says. You blush. He’s never asked you to do this, preferring to touch you himself. 
“Don’t you wanna do it?” you gasp as he grabs your legs and puts your feet on the edge of the table, spreading your knees so you’re exposed. 
“I wanna watch you get yourself off,” he says, his deep voice going through your body. His hands leave you and he takes a step back, his eyes on your lower half. Even from here, you can see he’s breathing hard as he waits for you, expectantly. 
You haven’t touched yourself since before you got married to Arthur. You haven’t had to. The thought of your own hands getting yourself off turns you on though, so you slide your fingers down and begin stroking your clit. You lay your head on the table, closing your eyes as you touch yourself. One hand circles your clit, studying your own nub as the other goes to your entrance. You open your eyes and see Arthur still standing there, his hands pulling on his cock as he watches you. Your eyes go down to his length, he’s already dripping. 
“You like what you see?” you ask, circling again and again. He nods and you press your fingers harder against yourself, going a bit faster. He must be able to hear how wet you are as your fingers stroke; he begins pumping himself a bit faster. As you get yourself closer to your release, your hips begin thrusting up and down slowly. Before long, you’re letting go to your own hand. 
When you come down, you look at Arthur and he’s standing between your legs. He grabs you, pulls you off the table and turns you around so your back is facing him. He bends you forward and spreads your legs, his cock finding your entrance easily. He plants his hands beside yours as he begins pushing himself into you forcefully. Then one hand grabs your hip, holding you close and his other goes up to your breast, fiddling with your nipple. You gasp in his grip as he moves fast, his cock sliding in and out of you. His lips kiss where your shoulder meets your neck and he nips you, making you hiss. 
This is new for Arthur, for you. All the times you’ve had sex with him, he’s been gentle unless you asked him to be rough. Now he’s pushing himself hard, his hands squeezing almost too tight on your hip and nipple. You have to stiffen your arms in order to prevent collapsing onto the table from the force of his bucking. 
“Arthur,” you say, trying to get him to acknowledge your discomfort, although you wonder if he doesn’t care in the light of your newly exposed secrets. You feel a twinge of guilt and realize you don’t get the luxury of him making you feel good right now. Not after how much you’ve lied to him. You hang your head and want to cry, but you’re sure he’ll become angry if you do. You can’t help it though as he pounds into you. Tears begin leaking from your eyes. 
“Am I hurtin’ ya?” he asks, suddenly stopping mid-thrust. His question does the trick and you let go. You’d be lying if you said his force and angle didn’t hurt just enough you won’t be able to orgasm from this.  
“N-no,” you say. “It’s not you. Keep going though, Arthur, you deserve to do this to me.” 
He suddenly pulls out of you and turns you around to face him. His hands go to your face and he brushes your hair away, rubbing your cheeks dry. His eyes are soft and betray his worry. He kisses you softly. 
“I want ya to feel good,” he says, taking you by surprise. 
“Why?” you say. 
“Because I love ya, despite all this. Darlin’, I love ya so much.”
“But I’ve lied to you. Hurt you.” 
“I know,” he says softly. “But you ain’t the only one. I’ve lied too. Not only that, I took your brother away from you. I ain’t ever gonna forgive myself for that.” He kisses you softly.  
You smile up at him and then lay down onto the table, spreading your legs. “Well, in that case, do what you must. Show me how sorry you are.” 
He smiles and pumps his cock again, making it stiffen up once more. He pushes back into you and starts to buck. This angle is much better as he can brush your spot. You close your eyes as your body moves from his force. His hands go to your hips, pushing you down onto him when he pushes in, allowing him to pound into you. You plant your feet onto the table again, giving him a better angle and your hand slides down to your slit. You’re hungry for the stimulation to your clit. When you begin brushing, you groan audibly. The sounds you make cause him to buck faster. 
“Always thought you sounded so pretty when I’m fuckin’ you,” he growls. You open your eyes and find his. The blue is so pretty and the intensity of them makes you rub even faster. It doesn’t take long before you’re going off again. Arthur doesn’t stop thrusting though as you clench your teeth and tip your head back, letting go. Your hand stops and he pushes it out of the way, stroking your clit. He wants to prolong your orgasm, you realize. 
“A-Arthur!” you whine as your orgasm rocks through your body. He still pounds into you, his fingers circling your clit. He gives it a quick flick and your hips thrust up. “I’m coming!” you grunt loudly. You feel as though you’re levitating, or perhaps your soul’s leaving your body. Thankfully, his hand stops and he goes back to thrusting your hips in time to his. 
You come down from your high, your hair planted to your neck. He grins down at you wickedly and continues pumping into you. His eyes glue themselves to your bouncing breasts. His hips suddenly snap against yours and he pulls out quickly, his hot seed spilling onto your stomach. When he’s done, he pants above you, his cock growing soft again. 
“Fuck,” he says. You’re breathing heavily and you reach up, pulling him down for a long kiss. He pulls away after a moment and reaches into his satchel, pulling out a cloth and cleaning you up. You sit up when he’s done and look at him hard, feeling relaxed in the wake of your passions. 
“Okay, Arthur. We need to talk about what’s going to happen. To us.” 
Arthur sits beside you on the table, your arms brushing. He grabs your hand and kisses it. “Well, I thought that’d be rather obvious, darlin’. I’m bringin’ ya with me to my gang. We’re out in a place called Horseshoe Overlook. Real pretty, think you’d like it.” 
“What about Dutch?” you ask. “Won’t he try to kill me when he finds out?” 
“He’ll be angry sure, and he probably won’t ever trust ya. You’ll have to work extra hard, but I’ll be with ya every step of the way. Dutch knows not to interfere with my family.” 
“Does he know you’re married?” 
He smiles. “I think he and Hosea know I’m involved with a woman, though I doubt they know I’m married. Dutch knows though that I’ll go where you go, he ain’t got a say in that. And I know he wants me around. Don’t worry, you’ll be safe, darlin’. Especially if you got some dirt to dig up on Colm. As long as you don’t try hidin’ what you know, you’ll be fine. That’s the mistake Kieran made. Wouldn’t speak even when we starved and beat him. Had to threaten him with Bill’s geldin’ tongs.”
“So you’re saying that as long as I speak up before they have a chance to torture me, I’ll be fine?” 
“Yes and no. Like I said, don’t think Dutch will ever trust ya.” 
“I didn’t stay in the gang for Colm. That man’s a bastard and I’d like nothing more than to see him shot. I stayed for my brother. I would have left the gang as soon as I found out he was dead, but Colm doesn’t allow deserters. Either you’re an O’Driscoll or you’re dead.” 
“I understand, darlin’. And if that’s the case, it might make Dutch be a little more lenient on ya.” He squeezes your hand again. “Now how about you and I go somewhere I can keep ya safe? Or would you prefer we go another round again?” 
You smile at him. “I think one more round sounds nice.”
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randomsevans · 4 years
Text
FOR THE LOVE OF COFFEE
Part 1
Warning:language being used .
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The annoying bleeps of your alarm zap you back into your boring reality. Well you wouldnt really call it boring just more that nothing new ever seems to happen . But to be fair you havnt got anything to really complain about . You have a stable job down streets working in the cafe ,a good boss (who so happens to be your landlord and has let you rent the flat above at a reasonable price) , your in your final year of your 5 years of university studying law and politics . Your not gonna lie it's been hard but it will be worth it one day .while living ,working, learning in your favourite place in the world ,LONDON, yeah it's not everyone cup if tea but you love it , the busy streets , everything changing in a blink of an eye it makes you feel alive .
London was a place you always wanted to end up, from being from the north of England life is completely different and if anymore tells you different, well your not exactly the stereotypical brit .your not saying you dont enjoy home, its beautiful, peaceful and now and then you find yourself missing it, but london is now your home and hopefully forever will be .
You moved to London for your education which has been your plan since 15 and knowing law and policies was your future. You had always found your self passionate about politic during school and for a teen everyone found it strange or that you never knew what you was talking about because of your age when in reality you probably knew more on how your government works and is voted in then the people telling your too young to understand. (You swear you must of been a granny in a past life, you wasnt stereotypical british teenage on the street with cheap cider).when ever you told people (your family) your future plan, thed just laugh, you was never the most educademic ,with suffing from dyslexia, but that never stop you always determine and wanting to prove teacher wrong with there low targets and experiences of you. And you did just that and futher , coming with good grades and a big fuck you to your school . Quite literally you shout "bye mother fuckers" as you left your school gates for the last time on result day . Your not exactly the most ... how would your say this .. stereotypical British person with "thank you" and "sorry " well you do , do it (that just manners ) , your not afeared to speak your mind. , known as the mounthy bitchy one in your group of friends which followd you down to london all doingthere own thing, with the cafe being your hang out stop, friends since well as long as you can remember really most of them a mix of year 7 and 8 so 11 and 12 years old making that about a friendship of 13 years (oh god I feel old ). You didnt need to apply to every university in London but you did , you knew you wanted to be here and here you are .
As as the beeping of your alarm continues , you know it's time to get up.
"Uggghhhh" throwing your covers to one side of the bed rather dramatically, your swing your legs to the edge of the bed while your body still lays down , hoping maybe you can just float your day away. With the little energy you have , you begin your normal 6am Saturday routine.
After an hour of getting ready and sneaking your way into the cafe and making your self an iced caramel latte . So you would think of someone who works in a cafe thed love coffee , uh nope ! Hot coffee in your eyes is the devils bitter juice it's just ... awful. But iced coffee on the other hand is heaven, you don't know why you like iced some much even tho hating hot , maybe just your sweet tooth but coffee was something you could live without before moving to the city now it's a life line .
7 am rolls around and your fully ready , currently rereading your assignment due in two week , which is currently at one sentence but ha you still got time , you kept telling your self , it's on your view on ameircan policies and law and how it effect their society .And let's just say your every opinionated so this assignment will be easy enough.
After a quick glance at your assignment, it was time to open , the cafe . Today you had a long shift but you can get by . You enjoy your work as much as sometime you get the odd rude customer, every other one is nice, you enjoy the interaction. To be honest you dont see your self ever not working in the cafe , with or with out your future law degree.
Once the shutter rose and you unlocked the door , you turn to counter and began to prepare coffees and the odd drink or two for your regular that will be around shor enough.
'Ding !'
You wiped your head around , and saw you boss lucy with a big grin on her face, (probable for her new boyfriend). You never could quite understand how she would have so much energy this early in the morning.
"Good morning y/n" lucy spoke as she had her back turned to you as she opened the cashier while you worked on the drinks.
"Is it a good morning?" You questioned with your cocky tone ,you couldn't help but smirk .
"Yes it is , why you always got to be so negative?"lucy joking said .
"Is my brand , what can I say , I know no other way ."
"Yeah well maybe it's time someone taught ya "
"No thank you, I'm happy the way iam "its true you might be miserable most the time , but your happy that way , you never understand why people cant see that .
"I'm just saying maybe if you got your head away from your books , and your continues viewing of doctor who then maybe you could have more of a social life "she smirked
"Huhhh! How dare you "you dramatically turned to face her , pretending to be hurt .
"One I have social life, and two dont you ever EVER disrespect my religion "
"Doctor who is not a religion "she rolled her eyes .
"Maybe not to you . But those 12 men and one women are my gods and will worship then with ever waking moment " to be honest you went exactly joking, you fuckin love doctor who , want can you say , you love it ever since you were a kid , it give you the odd comfort, its always been there , and hopefully always will , you love for the show is strong to say the least .
"God always so dramatic "lucy laught you off. She always knew you were either reading you school booked or knees deep into a marathon of your favourite timelord .
'Ding !'
And with that the first customer of the day enters and your work begins.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
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lululawrence · 6 years
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I'm interested in writing fic but it seems like everyone who writes on here, who I look up to, has some sort of formal writing training in the past and/or its part of their career. I'm worried that I'll make rookie mistakes that I see everyone here tear apart and no one will read any fic I manage to write. Any advice to overcome this insecurity? Or advice about resources for writing so I can learn about how to write properly? Thanks so much, I love ur writing so much
awwww i wanna hug you.
okay first off....anyone can write. and the “rookie mistakes” that people tear apart are choices that some people deliberately make. there will always be masterposts about some pet peeve that someone thinks is a legitimate writing tip and it’s...not. lolllll you won’t see me reblogging a lot of them just because i feel like SO MUCH of writing has to do with personal style. (unless it has to do with the use of orbs because that is my personal pet peeve like PLEASE DON’T USE THE WORD ORBS FOR EYES. i will still keep reading if i see it, but i just...it pulls me out entirely for a minute before i can bring myself to keep going lol) hell, a lot of my personal style in my fics was torn apart by my english professors in college and don’t even get me started on how much my history professors hated my writing (it was a LOT). so like...don’t care about that. throw all those misconceptions away. just cause someone doesn’t like the overuse of adjectives or adverbs or whatever doesn’t mean you can’t use them.
now to the real meat of this. as i said, anyone can write. i encourage everyone to write. there have been so many studies about how writing and journaling and all of that helps your memory and your brain and all sorts of incredible things, but it also has been proven to help with mental health. i’m a huge advocate of it. even if nothing gets published, writing is amazing. 
assuming you do want it to get published though, here are a few tips i have.
1. build a community around you. find friends who are supportive and can be amazing cheerleaders and maybe help you brainstorm when you’re stuck, etc. i would never have finished my first fic much less continued writing if i hadn’t had such amazing people around me. cheerleaders, brainstorming peeps, and friends make all the difference.
2. you know who else makes a difference? betas and brit pickers. you know why? not only can they help you sift through your fic and figure out where you need to streamline, where you need to flesh it out more, and your grammatical errors, but they can also help preread and boost confidence. “hey, you need to fix these things, but this is amazing!” can be so uplifting and helpful, and betas and brit pickers can help you with that. they can also help boost that confidence that your fic is ready to go out into the world. i have several friends who are too scared to have anyone read or help edit their fics before they post them, but i get too scared when i DON’T have them. my first several fics i had at least three or four betas and then a brit pick on top of all of them because i figured the more eyes i had on the fics, the better quality they would be. i relied on that until i felt stronger and found a few betas who best suited my style (and were as nit picky as i want them to be hah). they do hard and heavy work and are amazing. i thoroughly support you getting them. 
because you know what else they do? they help you avoid those “rookie mistakes” that you really do want to avoid. like orbs. (jk. kinda.)
3. keep trying. @briannamarguerite once told me writing is a muscle (and she probably regrets telling me this since i constantly tell other people this too hahaha) but it really is. you’re only going to strengthen that muscle by continuing to use it. the more you use it the more powerful it becomes. you learn so much and you grow and become better and stronger and more confident. the first several are SCARY. hell, even years later i still get scared to post my fics sometimes when it’s something new. but as time goes on, you really do grow in confidence and it feels amazing to see the growth in yourself as well.
4. we always need more fics, so don’t let the fear of mistakes hold you back. every voice gifts us something brand new and previously undiscovered, even if it feels like it’s just another university coffee shop fic or whatever you’re writing at the moment. i promise, it’s not the same as any other fic out there, and you’ll give your own special take on it, and we need it. we want it. we crave it.
5. have fun. we’re all disasters doing the best we can out here in this fucked up world and finding joy as we are able. if writing brings you joy, if you feel like creating a story from start to finish and sharing it with people gets you excited and makes you happy and productive, then DO IT. fuck the haters. you’re brave and strong and doing incredible things.
so there ya go. that’s my advice. haha 
oh! i just reread the ask to make sure i didn’t miss anything, as for writing resources, honestly i’m not sure where to point you. i know some people who are incredibly serious about their writing and they read all sorts of books about it and follow blogs and stuff, but literally all i do is write stories i would like to read. i’ve been an avid reader since i was in first or second grade and never really stopped, so i kinda ignore any formal training people offer and do my own thing. that said, i’m assuming if you’re asking you actually want references and not just me telling you to free ball it hahaha SO i’m gonna tag some people i feel like will have knowledge and advice of such things, but if i haven’t tagged you, please feel free to still reblog and add your thoughts on the end as well as links to places for this sweet person to check out!
hope this helps, nonnie!
@juliusschmidt @briannamarguerite @becomeawendybird @londonfoginacup @sadaveniren @allwaswell16 @fullonlarrie @disgruntledkittenface @helloamhere @greenfeelings @100percentsassy @gloriaandrews @laynefaire and literally every other writing blog out there hahaha help please?
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doctahchang · 7 years
Text
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
…we’re having a great time. Food, wine, a little personal abuse and the Universe going foom
An odd fic of mine, and my first attempt to write something in English, so fell free to mark out my mistakes! And of course dedicated to HANNAH BIRTHDAY SWEET GIRL
Give me just one thing with no tail-end and I’d go crazy
Actually, it’s the mass culture fault that most people imagine the end (the VERY final one) of the Universe, as something grandiose and romantic: the last planet with the last people, panic-seeking for salvation (don’t know where), all this shit. But for some reason no-one remembers the main law of the universe: where there is humanity, there is a restaurant of not the best quality. “I do not like a Venusian jelly.” “I beg your pardon?” A pair of strangely dressed people (even by the standards of their current surroundings) were sitting at the table and looking at the soon extinguished singularity: she called him to come to the edge of the universe, and he came. It would be pretty lyrical if the lower forms of life didn’t put another dirty dinery even here. “I said, I do not like Venusian jelly, but you want to order me one. Could have already remembered.” “Sorry, somehow I didn’t have an opportunity to ask about your gastronomic preferences when I was saving the world from you.” “Right.” The Doctor thought that this conversation struggled for a while. He looked at the mucous form of life sitting at a nearby table. It was glowing pink. Probably, he need to say something. “So, it looks like we are alive again, aren’t we?” “No, dear, you’ve eaten these mushrooms again and now you are talking to your own hallucination.” It’s good that such frequent deaths didn’t kill such a charming personality. “Can I at least try to ask how you survived, or it will be useless?” Missy smiled sweetly. “It’s a secret of mine. Girls also need to have their little secrets.” He still did not know if he was glad to get a message from her (it was pretty obvious who sent it: a banana with the coordinates written on it couldn’t be sent by everyone), or not. Of course, it was quite a relief for the Doctor, but he would rather die than admit it. “Of course you were glad.” Yes, the Master was always the best one at the lessons of telepathy, and the Doctor always had the lowest concentration score (he always forgot everything). And probably the thing is not in the Silence. “It seems like you forgot that I’m Professor Xavier and you are Magneto. Being the good one is my role.” Of course, they have comic books back on Gallifrey. Even not things like these were found in parcels for her mother from the planet Earth. “My dear Doctor, it seems like you forgot that mainly yer role is being an idiot. It’s nice that I’m always here to remind you.” “I have come to the middle of nowhere for you, and all I'm getting in return is reproaches and criticism in my address. Happy that at least something in this universe doesn’t change.” Missy smiled at him again and turned her attention back to a menu. You could have thought that she was reading it, but it would be strange to reread a simple menu for the tenth time. With all his heart (the left one), the Doctor couldn’t understand why he was here and why he came in the first place. “I wanted to have lunch with a nice company, but everyone was busy, so I had to call you” The Doctor thought that it’s probably better to remind of herself in this way than burning another two planets. Of course, he tried to hide this thought deep in his mind. Of course, he failed. When he heard a sound of ‘use me’ cough at the backwards of his subconscious, he decided to ignore it. The Doctor looked at the clocks: there were forty minutes left for this Universe. Saying truly, the Doctor had never (let me notice this again: NEVER) done any researches, but if you asked, he would say that they have been familiar with each other for two million four hundred twenty-four thousand two hundred and forty-two gallifreyan days (and four hours). Usually, it’s enough time to build some kind of healthy relationship (even if your partner is your arch enemy), but it seems that it doesn’t work for these two. Sometimes he had no idea what they want from each other, but it’s going to be their four thousand two hundred and fiftieth anniversary soon, so probably there was something. Needless to say, none of them didn’t know about this. “Strange, we have been here for an hour now, but no-one came to us.” “Not strange at all, hun. See, there are only thirty minutes left to their final closing, but they are fully booked. Another feature of your lovely pets, have you noticed? All they do before the End is meeting their lowest needs, which is embarrassingly predictable.” "They are not mine.” “Who else’s then? You love ‘em all so much.” He decided to avoid that comment too. Yeah, sometimes he made some proper decisions. “Finally, we have limited time like ever” The Doctor saw that a short girl (saying truly it’s not a girl but her remarkable eyebrows that were seen) was making her way to their table. But when she (finally) had a look at him, she struggled, her eyebrows took a very odd form, but then she decided to continue her way any way. The eyebrows decided to ignore the last comment too. “Greetings at the end of the Universe. What can I get you?” Doctor wanted to tell something, but Missy was obviously faster. “Stable relationship, but I doubt that you can provide me with those. So all we want from you, dear, is two plates of Venusian jelly and a nice bottle of wine, thank you very much.” “Two plates of Venusian jelly and a bottle of wine, right. Your order will be ready in forty minutes.” There were twenty-five minutes left for this Universe. This girl gave him the last odd look and hurried to leave them. The Doctor had an odd feeling too, but he couldn't decide if the thing was in his envy of this girl’s eyebrows or maybe in something else. Probably, it was the first one. “You said you don’t like Venusian jelly.” “Things change even in the dying Universe, Doctor. You tell me.” “Nice.” There were fifteen minutes left, when the hall filled with a woman’s voice that told their guests a good news: it will all end in fifteen minutes. For some reason Doctor thought that he still hadn’t visit "the second most beautiful garden in all Time and Space" with Clara. He definitely should have got her there. “Do you know that dust is mostly a dead human skin?” “Of course I do.” “It is not true, it consists of a simple dirt. Your little humankind wanted to put them in every prospect of life, even when they are already everywhere as this dirt. Look around, it’s the end of the *whole* Universe, but the half of visitors are still humans. Probably spent their whole life to be here.” “For Rassilon’s sake, are you ever happy with something?” “Well, sometimes it happens. I am changeable, it’s a weakness with me.”
There were only five minuted left when something outrageous (or not) happened: the red glowing mucous form of life claimed that watching the end of the Universe disturbs their believer’s of Church of the Second Coming of the Great Prophet Zarquon feelings. Others have heard about this, so they all hurried to leave. All in all, it was a splendid evening and it will end in four minutes and fifty-nine seconds (for forever). Only one pair left at the lonely table. "See, the singularity is burning.” “Yeah.” “A strange thing, but I am teensy bit disappointed. Of course, no doubt that it’s only us who would left, but, you know, I imagined this in another way, not in some dirty dinery and with a bottle of an icky wine.” “I think it’s rather appropriate now.” “Maybe you are right. It’s the only ending this Universe deserves.” There were three minutes left. The Doctor couldn’t see any colours, they were not real. It seems like the shadows from the objects started to grow and consume other ones, and the thing is that it was true. The singularity finally blew out and began to change their form outside a window.
“An odd end as for me. What kind of an end this is, if it’s something left after it.” “People are tend to dramatize, dear.”
There were only two minutes left. It was so dark outside that the Doctor hadn’t have an idea how he could still see something. He watched how a big scary nothing swallowed up the last star. He finally got emotional, but it was too late.
“Right, thank you for a lovely evening, but it looks like it’s time to go for me now, cause there are only-” “There is only one minute left.” “Cause there is only one minute left. I’m a busy time lady, you know, and I do not tolerate loitering. So for now I’m leaving you with your endless ego, the last man in the Universe. See ya soon.” The Doctor didn’t understand the last words cause they were interrupted with a sound of a working teleport: he stayed on his own. He smiled at the cracked window when he heard a sound of a popping atom. There were two seconds left when he abandoned this place: there was nothing to breath with. A new born universe will begin in one second. It’s always happy when there are things with no end.
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shadowtsukiyo · 8 years
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Gajevy Week: Prompt: Grief Tear Me Down to Build Me Up
Gajevy
Rated: M-ish
One-Shot
Tear Me Down to Build Me Up
Inspired by: “Come and Get It” by Krewella
Post Tartarus
“I’ve been thinking…”
“How come I have a feelin' it ain’t about anything good…”
“I'm thinking of… when you were in Phantom Lord.”
The silence was thick and uncomfortable.
“I don't wanna be thinkin' 'bout that, Lev… I hurt ya…”
“I know… but I realized it taught me a lesson. An important one.”
“You may see me struggle, but you will never see me quit…”
Levy read that line over and over. Despite how many times she tried to move her eyes away from it, she always ended up rereading the quote placed under the chapter title.
It described Fairy Tail.
It described her.
A soft sigh left her lips as it got her thinking.
Her family. Her friends. Her home. Her powers. Her present. Her future.
Her past…
Or more specifically her past with Gajeel. The events that shaped her currently.
It made her think of a lot of things about herself.
“Hey Levy!” Jet's voice pulled her from her thoughts as he and Droy slid across from her.
“What's got you so deep in thought?” Droy asked, offering her some of the cookies she had.
Absently she took a cookie and brought it to her lips, but rather than taking a bit her eyes glossed over in thought again.
“Earth to Levy!” Jet laughed, even after a year apart she was still the same, she blinked and gave them a confused look as she took a bite of the cookie. Giving an appreciative nod at the taste to Droy who grinned. “What are you so lost in thought about?”
“A lot of things really.” She hummed taking another bite. “Droy, this cookie is amazing.” Her fingers were in front of her mouth as she spoke, this earned a grin from the plant mage.
“No way, Lev. Cough it up.” Jet stayed firm as he watched the blunette swallow her bite.
“… My parents… Master Makarov… Phantom Lord… How I've changed.”
“Hold on, I must have heard you wrong. I thought you said Phantom Lord for a second.” Jet laughed awkwardly, trying to brush off her comment.
“I did.” Suddenly both men were silent.
“Why?” Jet's voice came out sharper than he intended.
“This quote reminded me of my dad… something he used to say when I was little… and something Master once said was very much like my dad's advice…”
“Daddy, I can't get it!” The tiny blunette, maybe five was huffing with a scowl. “How can I be an amazing mage like you if this keeps hap…happening!”
Her father was teaching her Solid Script magic, the basics at least. She was learning to do very simple nature scripts like “Air,” “Water,” “Stone,” “Fire,”  and a defense script, “Hole" they were her first lessons.
Except Fire kept blowing up in her face. Her mother had just finished cutting the poor girl’s hair after she charred the ends.
“Once more, Levania. I know you can do it.”
This earned him puffed out cheeks and pout, but she did as she was told.
“Solid Scipt: F-I-R-E—eek!” She was once again thrown back, her small body against the ground as she sniffled. Soon she was loudly crying.
“Come now, none of that my blue bird.” Her father said, pulling her to her feet before he took a cloth to clean off her face.
“I can’t do it!”
“Yes, you can.” He held her firm. “What defines us is how we rise after we fall, Levania. Rise. Each and every time you fall, get back up. Understood?”
Levy looked at her dad with watery eyes. “I... I think so…”
It took a month, but she finally got the spell down while she was at Fairy Tail.
Her parents had died during an illegal Guild War… leaving Levy orphaned and sent to Fairy Tail three weeks prior to her getting the spell down.
Levy had just joined the guild. She was quiet.
It was very odd to Cana, and caused Gray to be extremely protective of her.
It caused Laxus to baby her.
She didn’t utter a word as she sat at a table, holding onto a large book of Fairy Tales that she received from her mother. Inside the cover had been her father’s encouraging words to her during that lesson had been written down… she couldn't even bare to look at it.
Last time she looked at it, she burst into tears, causing Gray and the adults to panic. She never spoke and suddenly she was crying.
“It is okay to cry.” Makarov's voice was soft as he stood behind Levy. “It is also okay to read that message.” His hand was on Levy's shoulder.
She physically wavered.
“Did you know I never met my mother? She died when I was born.” Makarov's words were gentle.
“My father didn’t tell me until I was thirteen… and it was crippling…er… I felt much like you do now.” He corrected himself at a confused look from the girl.
He had her attention. Good.
“He grabbed my shoulders and looked at me. 'Makarov, stop! Your mom wouldn’t want this! She never wanted you to be sad like this! Don't let it break you! No matter how hard it gets, life goes on!'"
He looked down at the girl, “I'm going to tell you the same thing. Don't let it break you, Levania. No matter how hard it gets, life goes in. It will always go on… don't fall behind.”
A loud sniffle made him weakly smile as soon Levy dropped the book and was loudly sobbing into his embrace. “I miss them!”
Everyone in the guild turned to the two.
“I know… I know you do. And that's okay. It's okay to miss them, but I promise you they’re watching over you and Fairy Tail is your family.”
Honey eyes peeked up, red from crying. “Really?”
“Yes, my dear… now go on… you have some people who’ve been very worried.”
He motioned to Gray and Cana.
Shyly, Levy went over to them, rubbing at her eyes to get the redness and puffiness to calm down, her tears having thankfully dried up mostly. “I… I'm…”
“It’s okay! We’re just glad you're okay! I'm Cana, this is Gray.”
“I'm… I'm Levy.”
Makarov smile as suddenly Cana pulled the younger girl into a tight embrace, soon both girls were laughing as Gray lost his clothing once more.
His eyes turned to the book and he grabbed a note card from the bar, writing what he told her before he slipped it into the book and put it by the three children.
It was the next day that Levy came up to him with a pen, “Please… right here… next to Daddy's…” She pointed at the open area on the inside of the cover.
That book was tucked away in her personal library in the home she shared with Lily and Gajeel.
She knew she was getting odd looks from the two men.
“I'm not angry at him, and you both know I forgave him a long time ago… it just made me realize something…”
“Levy… look, we love you. You're our best friend… but we never… never. Want to relive that day.” Jet's voice deepened. Droy glared at his friend for speaking to Levy like that.
Levy just tilted her head, “Then don't. You both are my friends. But you asked what I was thinking about, then asked me to clarify. If you didn’t want to know the answer, you shouldn’t have asked me why I was thinking of Phantom Lord.”
Levy had grown up, she wasn’t afraid to look anyone in the face and in her own way, tell them off.
She was done mourning her past. Her grief for the girl that she used to be… it was long gone.
It seemed Jet still needed time, and that was okay.
The ginger scowled before storming off. “I'm glad you made progress Levy…” Droy smiled. He had finally moved past the incident while they were all separated. “I… I think you should explain your revelation to Gajeel… he might need this understanding the most.”
Droy was so level-headed since she came back from Tenrou. The blunette happily got up and kissed his cheek. “Thanks, Droy… I will.”
Levy left the Guild to go find Gajeel. Usually he’d be training about this time.
She and Gajeel had been a couple for only a few weeks, the two of them were taking it very slow. Neither Gajeel nor herself had ever wanted a relationship this bad and at times it left them both fearful to make a move.
When she got to the clearing, she smiled. Gajeel and Lily were sparring, the Dragon Slayer was dripping with sweat as the two males focused on hand to hand combat, but judging by Lily’s sword carefully tucked away, they had practiced with magic and weapons as well.
“Oi, Lil’ time to take a break.” Gajeel called to the battle form Exceed when he noticed his girlfriend.
Lily just smirked and threw a towel at the Dragon Slayer before moving to grab his things. “I’ll see you at home, Gajeel. It was nice to see you Levy!” The Exceed waved at the blunette who waved back.
“You too, Lily!” Levy smiled before moving to smile at Gajeel.
“Ya okay, Shorty? I didn’t expect ya. I’m not upset or ‘nything, but ya don’t usually surprise me like this.” Gajeel was a little thrown.
“I want to talk about something. And… you won’t exactly like the topic.” Levy’s voice was soft, earning a look from Gajeel.
“Alright. Let’s sit in the shade.” He sighed, moving to take her hand. After several minutes, they were sitting side by side.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Mainly about the past… mostly before I met you, but a lot of the things I learned then….” She spoke after a bit of silence.
He said nothing, just listened.
“I’ve been thinking…” She started to say.
“How come I have a feelin' it ain’t about anything good…” He couldn’t help but mutter, hearing her start.
“I'm thinking of… when you were in Phantom Lord.” She finished, her eyes looking towards him, and she watched him swallow hard.
The silence was thick and uncomfortable.
“I don't wanna be thinkin' 'bout that, Lev… I hurt ya…” His voice shook, his hands trembling. The man stiffened when she placed her hand on his. Crimson eyes looking to the blunette.
“I know… but I realized it taught me a lesson. An important one…” She whispered.
Silence descended upon them both again.
“You did hurt me.” He flinched at the words. “But… you made me bigger… you made me stronger.” She moved to carefully move onto his lap, her arms wrapping around him. “You made me learn a very important lesson.”
Gajeel didn’t know what to say, all he could see were the memories of her… up in that tree. When they fought the demons, and nearly died, he never got the chance to truly apologize.
“I…”
“Shh…” Levy gently pressed her finger to his lips, offering a soft smile. “I know… I already know you’re sorry for everything that happened… that you regret it.” She gently kissed his lips, and while she wanted to react to the tears that she saw in his eyes, but she couldn’t not yet.
“You made me realize many things back then. That… while I love Fairy Tail, I can’t always lean on them… that I needed to grow myself… Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been, to stand up taller than you ever were….” She said lightly.
“You did knock me down.” She cupped his cheeks, meeting his gaze. “But you… you built me back up. You made me big and made me realize how big I could be.”
“Even… even so. I can never…” Gajeel was struggling with words. Tears were in his eyes, anger at himself… at his actions. Hating himself.
“Maybe not… but I can. I can forgive you… and I love you.” She pressed her forehead to his. “I stopped grieving my past self, Gajeel. Stop grieving for your missed chances and the mistakes you’ve made.”
Gajeel’s arms wrapped around her, tightly squeezing her to his chest. “Let me… let me grieve her a bit longer, Levy… Let me grieve the you I put fear into a bit longer…” He whispered and held her close. “Without her… I would have stayed a bad guy…”
Levy just held him tighter, “I forgive you, Gajeel… and I’ll be here when you’re ready to forgive yourself.”
Gajeel nodded, his arms tight around him as he held her close.
It may have brought up bad memories, but it did something for him… it allowed him to work past it… he would be allowed to grieve… but Levy had moved past her grief…
She’d help him grieve, help him move past it, just as he helped make her big.
“I love you, Gajeel… I’m sorry I put you through this.”
A weak laugh escaped the man as he buried his face in her neck, tears still not falling.
“No Levy… this helps me. You have no idea how much this helps me, Lev.”
He would move past his grief. Just not yet.
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