#I've cried for so long now

[skz-films]

the director and the cameraman.

[kittyandco]

does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do

[towl]

Rin & her babies ♡ Hanyo no Yashahime (Manga)

[crippling-pages]

reasons to ship Tiana (tam and biana) <3

@innereverblaze You asked to be convinced on which ship (Tiana or Dexiana) you should ship, and I am here convincing you to ship Tiana. This is also there for anyone else wondering why I ship Tiana or why YOU should ship Tiana. Thank you.

*cracks neck* Okay lets do this

Tiana is the pairing between Tam and Biana, and their ship is AMAZINGGG. These are just a few of the tropes in their ship

Grumpy/sunshine

Opposites Attract

Emo/Bright

Introvert/Extrovert

Popular/Outcast

These are their main tropes, though there are a ton of other smaller tropes too! (Ex: Rain/Sunshine, Sun/Moon, Talks A Lot/Will Listen (for me, I hc that that one can go for both).

Moving on to moments in the book; it's a fact that all the boys (Dex, Keefe, and Fitz) had/has a crush on Sophie. One after another, they each picked Sophie. All three of them. But, when we meet Tam, instead of falling for Sophie like the others, he notices Biana. The moment being when Keefe says, "The Foster Fan club is closed" or something like that, Tam blushes says he isn't interested, then proceeding to glance at Biana,which shows that he may be interested in Biana, not Sophie. He doesn't like Sophie right away like the others did, he sees Biana and he likes Biana. And Biana has always had a problem, not being noticed or seen. She was the 3rd child of a famous family; Alvar was the oldest and already doing great things (to their knowledge), and Fitz was a super powerful Telepath. And she was just Biana, at the time. When people saw her, it was for her status or her brother. And when Sophie came along (wanna be clear that I'm not blaming Sophie; forever a Sophie stan), everyone started to talk about Sophie, including her own brother and former crush. Now it seemed like one of the few parts of recognition she got was given to Sophie, the mysterious and multi-abilities girl with humorous talent, and everyone was thinking about her. And then we meet Tam. Like I said before, Tam takes interest into Biana. Before the crew officially meets Tam and Linh, Tam contacts Biana this time, to contact the others. He could've chosen any of the others, expect he chose Biana. And since then, he's always been Biana > Sophie.

And Biana does similar to Tam. When Sophie and Fitz go to visit Tam and Linh in the beginning of the book during Lodestar, they come back and Biana complains, saying that they were lucky and this implies that she wanted to see Tam again too. Later in the book, when Sophie, Dex, Fitz, and Biana go to visit Wylie, they spot Tam reading in the sitting area, and Biana changes her mind and goes to sit next to Tam. She smiles, and then says, I quote, "Plus, I haven't seen you in forever!" Note the fact that she says "you," not "you and Linh." Biana was excited to see Tam again that she decided to say there with him instead of doing what their original objective was. Tam replies to this, smiling shyly. After all, no one has ever wanted to be with him before. He was a twin and a shade as a child, and both were taken as bad things, so he probably was very alone as a child, with no friends or anyone other than Linh to talk too. But now, he sees Biana wanting to talk to him, choosing to sit down and catch up, saying upfront that she missed him. None of the other people in the group have really directly talked to Tam before (for the whole series, if I may add) that isn't for Neverseen or Black Swan related purposes. Continuing on, Tam replies to Biana (again, smiling shyly), "I hear we'll be seeing more of each other soon." (That could be recognized as flirting but I don't think Tam knows what flirting is during this moment of time so it's probably not). This suggests that he is actually excited and eager to see Biana more often, and as we know form Tam, he doesn't that excited often. From these moments and interactions, we can confirm that both Biana and Tam, ever since first meeting, find interest in each other and want to learn more about the other and want to see each other more, are are excited when they get to be together.

There are another handful of moments in Lodestar between them, but there are two more that stand out to me the most. (Three, technically). One is the oh so famous scene when the group is at the Exilium training area, and they're talking about Marella, and the Biana points out that Marella is staring at Tam. There are a few other comments by the others. Tam himself is surprised, by this, and simply says "Okay" and lets the topic go. Biana, however, does not. She says something along the lines of, "Okay? That's it? That's all you have to say?" implying that she's shocked that Tam doesn't have another say on this, and he starts blushing at Biana questions, since they hint that she's eager to know what he really thinks. This can also be seen as possibly jealousy; She sees Marella staring at Tam, and giving him a flirty smile; she'd want to know if Tam finds her cute in return, or that he might be interested in her, and the thought of that makes her jealous. Tam is saved from responding, because Linh speaks up and says "He doesn't like her. He likes brunettes." She says this smirking, and directing it at Biana. This may mean that she's trying to subtly tell Biana that Tam finds her cute, or pretty. Tam then says, "Gross, why do you know that?" Note that he isn't denying it. He isn't saying that he doesn't like them, he's asking why Linh knows this. Linh then says, "Because you aren't as sly as you think you are." This could mean that Linh has noticed how Tam acts around Biana. She noticed how he looked at her in Neverseen after being asked about joining the Foster Fan Club, then denying it. Maybe Tam has looked at Biana other times that weren't noticed by Sophie, but by Linh.

Another moment is when Biana tells Sophie that she and Tam found something in the Silver Towers. Sophie asks what she meant by her and Tam, since to Sophie's knowledge, only Tam was was working there, and Biana explains that she went to visit Tam early that day. This suggests that Biana wanted to see Tam again. As I said earlier, Biana was and is eager to see Tam again, and this is another moment being proof of it. Along with this bit, Tam had to spend hours in the Silvers Towers per day, so that means that Biana got to spend hours alone with Tam, and they probably had learned much more about each other and had gotten closer. Later, when they're in the Silver Towers, Biana says to Tam, I quote, "Go on. Show them how cool you are." Tam blushes at this. As the statement says, Biana thinks Tam cool, and that matches up with Biana wanting to spend more time with him. This is also another time Biana has complimented him (she once complimented him about his ability in Neverseen ,calling it an 'anti-vanish'). Tam is insecure about ability, hence likely being judge a lot as a kid and his parents being disgusted, and with Biana constantly telling him its impressive and cool, he starts to feel less bad about it and left insecure.

There are a few more moments in Lodestar, but for now I shall be moving onto Nightfall, quite possibly the book with the most Tiana moments, and I'll be doing them in bullet points so I don't have to write anymore paragraphs so it'll be easier for you to read. (Hence there are a lot, we'll be doing the biggest and my personal favorites)

Nightfall Moments (With page numbers)

On page 217, when Forkle takes about sending Tam and Linh back into Foxfire, Biana squeals and gets excited, saying that they'd see each other more, hang out during study hall and team up in PE. This is another moment showing that Biana gets happy and excited at the thought of spending more time with Tam.

Page 384, when Sophie, Fitz, Tam, Biana, Livvy and Grady are in the Forbidden Cities, Biana points out that a bunch of girls are staring at Tam. This is similar to what she did when Marella was looking at Tam.

Page 387, Biana tells Sophie that she and Tam didn't find anything in Candleshade; Candleshade is big, with hundreds of floors; it would take hours and many days to search, so that would mean that Biana and Tam would have spent even more time together, just the two of them alone. Again. Multiply times. During these times, they've definitely have gotten much closer and know much more about each other. (At this point, I feel like they've definitely gotta a crush on each other.)

Page 397; when Biana, Sophie and Tam are talking about what they should wear when sneaking into Nightfall, Sophie says "What about Tam?" and Biana replies saying that he'll be alright if he "ditches his shirt." This implies that Biana wants to see what Tam looks like without a shirt on; this is also likely Biana subtly flirting with Tam. Tam is embarrassed, and says that he'll get cold, ever the oblivious.

Page 442; Marella says that Biana is possessive of her brother, and Biana replies that she isn't possessive, and that she doesn't like it girls use her to get to her brother, since to them, Fitz is the best looking boy in the school. She then says to Tam, "Linh must know how that feels." And that suggests that Biana thinks that it is very good looking, or just as good looking as Fitz, and that a lot of girls would go up to Linh because they would want to get closer to Tam. This again, could be Biana subtly flirting.

Page 447; I feel like people sleep on this one a lot. It's when they're trying to figure out where to put Alvar after finding him in Nightfall. Tam says that Choralmere could work, since it be unexpected and the Neverseen wouldn't expect it. It's basically Tam subtly saying to Biana "I'll bring your almost dead brother to my abusive home for you even if I really don't want to go see my parents and house again but it okay because your more important and I care about you."

Pages 451-452; Possibly the most underrated Tiana moment in the series, and it's when Tam and Biana talk about the the cruelty of Tam and Linh's parents, and what their parents did to the them. Biana brings up how screwed society is, and how she feels bad about how her life is/was almost perfect, and that it's that way because of the "Vacker Legacy." She said that she wished she could like others in bad situations, like in the one Tam and Linh were in. Tam comforts her, telling her that she doesn't need to feel bad, saying that it wasn't her fault. He said that she didn't know how bad the world was, that not a lot of people do. This makes Biana feel a lot better, thanks to Tam. (Not gonna lie, Sophie third wheeled in this scene.)

Page 457; Another minor one, but while they were talking about Alvar, Biana's eyes start to tear up and she moves to go look at the portrait of Tam. She was in a room full of art, with many pieces and decorations, yet she decided to look at the painting of Tam.

Page 474; This is my favorite moment in the series (I made a post about it, you should check it out!). It's when Tam stops and notices that his portrait was re-painted, and Biana says that she did it. It shows how Biana disliked the portrait, and that she didn't believe it represented Tam right. Even though it wasn't hers, and that it belonged to Tam's mother, she spent time and repainted it. I feel this says a lot about what Biana thinks of Tam. (It was basically was: Biana: *repaints the picture of you your mom made because I didn't like it and because it wasn't truly you and you're amazing and should be recognized as you are now not as you were before or like how your abusive parents see you as*). Physic/Livvy also says "not to spoil the moment" implying that Tam and Biana were having a moment.

There are a few other, smaller moments in the book, but these are the biggest and main moments. To my memory, Flashback has two moments and they're minor, but still say a lot.

It's when someone says that Tam should look in Everglen for clues and stuff, but Fitz says that his parents might not let him because of Alvar. Tam replies saying, "Don't worry. Biana would let me in." That means, despite the Alvar situation, Biana would still let Tam inside Everglen to search around. She also decided to help him.

Around the end of the book, when they're fighting the Neverseen, Umber shoots an arrow of shadowflux at Biana. Not Linh, who we knows means a lot to Tam. Not Linh, who Tam would sacrifice his life for. Umber didn't shoot the arrow at Linh, but at Biana. This could mean that Umber sensed how much Biana meant to Tam, and that he might've cared for her as much as he did for Linh.

Flashback was more of a Sophitz/Sokeefe book, so there wasn't a lot. Moving on to Legacy, there were a surprising about of moments, despite Tam not even being there. (Note that I haven't read Legacy, and that it's my least favorite book in the series, followed by Stellarlune.) I don't remember much from Legacy, but I do now some vague moments, but otherwise these won't be that good and that accurate.

Biana has mentioned, a handful of times, about getting Tam back. When she can, she brings up Tam. This means that even when he's not there, she thinks about him.

There was a few scenes in the book where Biana says that she misses Tam.

There's this one scene, and it's when Sophie and Biana are talking, and Sophie's "Happy Shadow Thoughts" t-shirt is brought up. Biana says how she really wanted to get one. This suggests Biana saying that she wanted to have the shirt because it was about/related to Tam. (She trails off, after saying that she wanted a shirt of her own, a look of longing and sadness appear son her face.) Biana and Sophie also talk about Tam's kidnapping, and Sophie comforts her.

After everyone walks up from being knocked out during Keefe's transformation, Sophie says that Tam will help them, and when Biana wakes up, the first thing she says is "Tam?" Since we already know that Biana missed Tam a ton, one can only assume that one of the first things she did after Sophie left was go and hug Tam...

And that's that for Legacy. (I swear that only good parents in Legacy was when it was about Tam).

Moving on, we have Unlocked and Stellarlune. Unlocked has this one moment (though it is a VERY important one), while Stellarlune doesn't have any Tiana (or Dexiana) moments. Let's do Unlocked.

In Unlocked, on page 676, Fitz teases Biana for rushing up the stairs to Solreef. He says that "she's dying to see Tam" and then stage-whispers to Sophie "My sister' a fan of silver bangs." While this is two facts for the price of one (that Biana missed Tam a whole lot, and that Biana finds Tam cute and likes his bangs), what Biana says next is "Really, Fitz? You want to talk about crushes?" And this is important, because Biana, sweetheart, when the hell did Fitz mention ANYTHING about crushes??? Hmm? When?? *proceeds to jump up and down because this literally confirms that Biana has a crush on Tam* (Biana also then blushes bright red after what Fitz said, and I quote from Sophie, "which was either embarrassment or confirmation. Or both." And we all know that when an author says "or both" 98% of the time, it is both.)

And that is that. All (almost all) of the Tam and Biana moments in the series, along with in-depth analysis for each.

Furthermore (yes, I'm not done), let's talk about the characters themselves.

Tam's character is shown as the stoic, quiet, and 'emo' character (he isn't actually emo, though. He's just seen that way because of stereotypes). Biana is the sparkly, bright, and the princess of the series. Their opposites. But they also have a ton in common!

Both have siblings (trust me, you can relate about siblings)

Both have expectations from society and their parents

Both have once been hated on (Biana with the Alvar situation, and Tam... in general.)

Both are underrated and underappreciated people.

Both can be snarky at times.

Both are stereotyped (Tam being a Shade and people automatically assuming he's evil/not a good person; Biana being a spoiled princess because she's the daughter of a powerful family.)

Both are important and valuable people.

Literal icons. They're so icon.

BAMF duo.

Traumatized.

There are other kinds of similarities between the two, but these are the main ones.

Either way, both would bring out the best in each other. Biana's brightness would bring out Tam's, and Tam would help Biana become more confident with herself. They would help each other with their trauma, comfort each other, and just help each be the best they can be. Tam would be able to talk to her about the Neverseen, and his parents, and Biana could talk to Tam about her scars, and Alvar. They even each other out and help each other be better. All in all, they're good for each other and would make each very happy.

And finally, here are some my Tiana headcanons to show you how cute they are <3

Biana buys Tam bouquets or flowers. One time, Tam mentioned that he liked flowers, and the next day, she arrived at Solreef, blushing a very bright red, and handed Tam a bouquet. Linh had to deal with a happily dazed and swooning Tam for a full 15 minutes.

They have movie nights at Solreef. (Solreef has a mini theater for when they watch human movies.) They'll cuddle up on the couch together, laughing and having fun, and falling asleep.

They are the MOST competitive people you will ever meet. On their own, they're competitive, but together, oh boy is it dangerous to be on the other side. Almost everything is a competition. Sometimes they've had to sit out in Base Quest because they made it too much of a deal. Sometimes the crew does Tam and Biana vs. Everyone else (Tam and Biana almost always win).

Tam's ticklish. Like, really ticklish. Biana's one of two people who knows (the other is Linh, though she doesn't really acknowledge it anymore) and she 100% uses it to her advantage. If she wants to go shopping but Tam's being a bit lazy, she'll just carefully graze her fingers on his side... Or sometimes she just wants to see Tam laugh. It makes her feel good. She loves him laughing, and smiling, and giggling. She gets all warm and fuzzy inside. ...Or when she's just bored.

Tam designs and makes clothing for Biana. (I headcanon that he's obsessed with clothing and fashion, like Biana is.) After Biana got her scars, he promised her that he'd show her that they can and are beautiful. A few weeks later, he comes to Everglen, and hands Biana one of the most gorgeous dresses she's ever seen. It was because of seeing how beautiful she looked in the dress did she start realizing that her scars were a part of her now.

Physical touch is probably their biggest love language. Like, no matter where they are, they need to be in some kind of contact. Walking in Atlantis? Arm around waist. Black Swan meeting? Hand holding. Lunch with the crew? Hand on knee/thigh.

Tam has very unnoticeable freckles around his cheeks, and sometimes Biana will just stare at Tam from across the room, counting them. (To be fair, she'd stare at him either way.)

Biana gives Tam a ton of compliments. He's never really been complimented as a child, or even now, so when they start dating, Biana's 10x more open about complimenting Tam. She'll start casually calling him "pretty" or "amazing" or "literally the best person in the entire world" etc etc. And since Tam isn't used to it, he almost always gets all blushy and shy and giggly about it.

Every time Biana hears Keefe joke about Tam being 'shady' and 'darkness in the flesh' she's smirking to herself because the Tam she knows is literally the cutest, funniest, and most adorable thing she's ever seen.

Tam's 6'2 and Biana's just about 5'5 (when they're completely grown). Tam teases her about being short.

Tam takes Biana out on dates in Atlantis often. He knows how much she loves shopping, so they'll go to a few shops and look around, and he'll get her a few things.

They're the biggest on cuddles. It's the most important thing EVER to them. They won't (intentionally) do it when others are around. Neither of big fans of that much PDA. But when its just them, CUDDLES <3

Tam's ace, so kisses are rare coming from him, and it makes Biana flustered. Sometimes, he'll kiss her just to see her blush.

They secretly date for the longest time ever, and at one point, they just don't care anymore and are way more open about their relationship in front of everyone. And obviously, they don't tell anyone about the sudden switch, so everyone's like "??? What??? When did they get so close??"

They love each other so freaking much and I ship them so hard I could EXPLODE

And you have it <3 Why I ship Tiana, and why YOU should too <3 thank you.

(tagging because I can): @keefe--sencen @swans-chirping-in-the-distance @frizzle-mcshizzle @theleopardstalker )

[larsnicklas]

anyway to me evgeny kuznetsov will always be defined by his joy. he really had so much of it; it spilled over often and put a smile on so many faces including his teammates' and fans'. his personality is one of a kind, ebullient and brash and clever. a lot of what he did that people on the outside scorned him for came from a place of love — for his family, for his team, for the game. the flapping bird celly, for instance, that garnered so much bad faith criticism from more conservatively minded hockey pundits and fans — he did that for his daughter. it delighted her! and who was he to deny her just because some people whose opinions he didn't care about said he should stop?

i'll love kuzy forever — like that entire cup team is lodged in my heart, but kuzy gave us the game 6 ot winner against pittsburgh. i think that was actually the moment every single person who was invested in the capitals' success realized this year might be the one. i'll never forget it; for as much as the final game in vegas is embedded into my psyche as a sports fan, that kuzy goal in the second round might actually be one of the single most memorable moments of my life lol. the way i felt, the way hundreds and thousands of caps fans must have felt.... no matter what has happened since, no matter what happens from here on out, we'll always have that game, that playoff run, that magic that kuzy brought to the ice.

at his best, he's so creative and dynamic. one of those guys that can make something out of absolutely nothing, and a really dynamite playmaker. ovi got the conn smythe in 2018 and nobody on planet earth begrudges him that, but the argument kuzy should have gotten it for that playoff run... it's strong.

i understand that kuzy's time and legacy in washington is not an uncomplicated one, but the thing that isn't complicated is this: i'm grateful for all the good times he brought to the team and the fans, and i'm grateful for all he gave of himself along the way. and don't get it twisted, he gave as much of himself as he could. i know people liked to say (especially these past few years) that he wasn't trying, that he was checked out, that he was just a warm body on the ice. i don't know how you look at a guy that's so clearly struggling and come away with that attitude. just zero empathy. nobody wants to be struggling, man. no professional athlete in the world wants to go do what they've spent their whole life training to do and fucking fail at it. i really hope that he got — and continues to get — the support he needs, and i hope he gets that fresh start he wants so badly.

i've missed seeing him in good spirits; i've missed seeing him loose and happy and playful and i want him to feel that way again. i wanted so so much for it to be here with the capitals because i am sentimental to a debilitating degree, but even more than that i want him to feel good and be well, no matter where and how. i hope he gets that. i hope he knows that we're rooting for him always.

[ruvviks]

– COMMISSIONS!

the pictures say it all but tl;dr my laptop died and i had to get a replacement and now i'm a bit short on money so i'm opening up commissions :]

– QUICK FACTS.

ocs only, won't do mecha / furry / explicit content but will do humanoid fantasy races / cyberware / mild injuries or blood

i reserve the right to say no to a character when it's too far above my skill level

payment up front through ko-fi, no refunds, dm me before paying because you'll need to claim a slot first!

i need visual reference(s) to work with, using picrews for this is fine, encouraged even if you can't provide me original artwork! i refuse to use a/i art as reference so please don't send me that

– I'M INTERESTED! WHAT NOW?

please dm me on tumblr and tell me what kind of commission you're interested in (sketch / lines / colors + head / bust / half body) and for which oc, preferably already with a link to some visual refs so i can take a look :]

i'll then let you know if you've claimed a slot; if so, we can discuss details + payment and i'll get started! if all slots are full i can put you on a waiting list and i'll notify you once i've worked through my queue :]

the finished piece can in some cases already be done in a day but may take up to a full month depending on how busy i am and if my brain allows me to work, i have executive dysfunction and am in the middle of my graduation project so please be patient with me

ko-fi: ko-fi.com/nuclearvessel

– WHAT YOU'LL GET.

digital artwork of your oc :] you won't receive any physical goods!

you're allowed to post it wherever and use it for icons and such, as long as you don't take credits for the art yourself. you are not allowed to sell it or use it for n/f/t or a/i purposes

[xenocorner]

The struggle of deciding between drawing a lot of quick, non-rendered Stephens

Or fucking draw the man as a Renaissance painting in all his glorious beauty-

[hollowflight-propaganda]

I think it's time I change my bio to say it's been 11 years since I started to watch Ninjago.....

Gosh. Where's my senior discount on the lego sets, huh?

[nordicbananas]

alexis I blame you for this (pt. 2)

[skipblebee]

I am MOURNING

[blackat-t7t]

I went back and forth a lot on whether to put this in a reblog of that poll about likes and reblogs that's going around. Ultimately I decided not to, because really it's about something that post isn't actually saying, just that other people in the larger conversion about likes and reblogs have said.

I don't really see this IN posts of art and fic, but when posts made solely to encourage people to reblog come around, they often include someone in the chain saying something along the lines of:

"Likes are WORTHLESS!" or "Likes MEAN NOTHING!"

And I think, a real person saw your work and liked it. They told you they liked it, even if they told you through a button built into the site. Is that really worthless?

And I guess seeing that opinion just makes me feel kind of small and pathetic and sad, both as a creator and a viewer.

Please don't misunderstand! I'm not trying to say "creators should be grateful for whatever scraps viewers give them"! And, as a creator, I'm not trying to act "more grateful than thou", or flaunt my own humility in appreciating scraps!

I'm saying "are likes really just scraps?"

I consider myself a creator, but the truth is I don't make many of my own posts, or post a lot of fic, comparatively. I don't get a lot of engagement, not just because of the current state of fandom, but because I just don't have much TO engage with. So when I get a notification "[someone] liked your post", and I see that the truly liked MY post, not just something I reblogged, I get a little thrill.

Hearing that the thing I get so excited over, is something other creators disregard entirely, makes me feel kind of pathetic.

And as a viewer, hearing "likes are worthless, only reblogs matter"-- well, creators (myself included!) often say that we want to connect with people through our works. Hearing that my liking something, my saying I enjoyed it, is worthless and all that matters is whether I help spread it by reblogging- it makes me feel like creators, many of whom I admire, aren't interested in connecting with me.

IDK, maybe I'm just making this about me when it shouldn't be, especially in that last part. If people really believe that someone enjoying their work is worthless if they don't enjoy it enough to reblog- I guess that's their right. It's not my place to tell them how to feel about their work and how it's received.

I don't know. Like I said, the whole thing just makes me feel small. And pathetic. And sad.

Who knows. Maybe I'm misinterpreting everything and people are saying "WITHIN THE STRICT CONTEXT OF HOW TO GET MORE VIEWS, likes mean nothing, because there is no algorithm", and I'm getting worked up over nothing.

I'm just not sure anymore. I feel wrung out, and I just want to post this and be done with it.

Please don't take the things I've said here in bad faith.

[leafy-m]

My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵

[missrosegold]

Looks like I just lost another close friend to guy who isn't worth a pile of dog shit. 😊

[whitepeachrum]

The Finale

Fandom: Hetalia (personified) Pairing: Arthur x Kat (EngUkr/UkrEng) Content Length: Short (~1400 words) Trigger Warnings: Implied Dying, Terminal Lucidity

“Sir, your wife is up.”

“She’s what?” Arthur frowned, not hearing the nurse all that well.

“She’s awake now.”

“Oh, well then I should go see her.” He hurriedly put the newspaper down, propped himself up with the help of his walker, and slowly made his way to see Kat. His shaky hand knocked on the door twice.

“Are you decent, my love?”

“Arthur, is that you?”

Not hearing what she said, Arthur pushed the door open and made his way into the room. After all, she was his wife and he had every right to see her whenever he wanted. He walked in and looked immediately at Kat who was tidying up the room. His face brightened at the sight of his lovely wife, but his eyes held a somberness.

“My love, how are you feeling?” He sniffed.

“I feel so much better, my dear. It looks like I just needed some rest.”

“Needed what?” He asked, not hearing the last of her response. Kat carefully shuffled over to Arthur and gave him a sweet kiss. Arthur grunted contently.

“You look beautiful today,” he said, looking at her beaming face.

“And you look so handsome in your vest.” Kat brushed off some of the dandruff on his shoulder and straightened out his knitwear. “Is this new?”

“No, Matthew sent it to me. He made it a while ago.” He made it while you were asleep.

“Oh, it looks great on you.”

Arthur looked around the room and noticed that the room was somehow cleaner than before and that the bed was made. It's been a while since he's seen the top of the bed flattened out so neatly.

“You cleaned?”

“Yes, Alfred is visiting us today.”

“Who?” Arthur leaned in a bit to hear her better.

“Alfred, your brother.”

“Ah. Is it Wednesday already? I thought today was Monday.”

“I don’t know, but he’s coming today.”

“What time will he be here?” Arthur walked closer to her dresser and parked his walker there. “Gah, stupid wheels.”

“Here, I’m coming to help you.” Kat shuffled over with her bad hip and helped him reposition the walker so he could sit closer to the bed.

“Sit down with me, my dear.”

“I think I'll stand for a bit. You know how my hip is.”

“Well, suit yourself.” Arthur locked the device with a frown and, with the support of the dresser, walked over to the record player on the other side. He turned the music on full blast and gently nodded along as the familiar notes he’d heard for the last 65 years mildly hummed in his ears.

Arthur shuffled back over to his walker a bit less grounchy now and carefully lowered himself into the seat, grunting from the effort. Kat changed her mind about standing and sat beside him on the bed, tapping her feet to the rhythm of the melody. Kat enjoyed being by Arthur's side, especially on such a beautiful morning. She put her hand in Arthur’s and stroked it with her thumb.

“Oh, I like this song.”

“What was that?” Arthur turned to her with a raised eyebrow.

“I like this song,” she repeated louder for him.

“Oh,” Arthur chuckled, “I knew you would.”

Kat hummed happily as she listened to the song they had their first dance to. Arthur was adamant about playing this song at their wedding as it was the song he heard when he first met Kat. It was the only song he had ever danced to and lately, the only song he wanted to listen to. Kat didn’t mind as it brought back wonderful memories they shared over the decades. 

Arthur grunted suddenly, carefully pushed himself off the walker, and took small steps to face Kat. He held out his hands to her and asked her to dance with him.

“You haven’t asked me to dance in so long. I thought you’ve forgotten already.” Kat gently placed her hands in his and they walked to the middle of the room where there was plenty of space for them to slow dance together.

Arthur gave Kat’s hands a somewhat dry, but tender, kiss and brought her close to slow dance with her. They didn’t really care for the music or following any beats, but just the natural rhythm of their bodies. Kat rested her head on Arthur’s shoulder as his lip quivered and he gasped quietly to himself. If only she knew how much he'd wanted to dance with her all these months.

Ever since Kat was bedridden, she hasn't been able to even recognize Arthur. But today, she was moving around with energy and excitement as if she was her old self again. And Arthur knew what that meant. So, just for today, he wanted to share one last dance together. They haven’t danced in years but it always felt like their first time.

“This is so nice, honey.” She said as he tried his hardest to hide his tears from her. When the song ended, Kat lifted her head and acknowledged his teary face. “What’s the matter? I’ve never seen you cry. Is it too stuffy in here? I could open the window and let some fresh air in.”

“I just love you so much. That’s all.”

Kat gave him a warm smile and gently wiped his tears off his cheeks. “Oh, that’s just the sweetest. I love you, too.”

“Don’t tell Alfred I cried.” Arthur immediately frowned at the thought of his brother repeatedly taunting him for crying.

“I promise I won’t.” She hugged him close and continued to move to her own rhythm. Arthur’s eyebrows furrowed and he held onto Kat tightly. He wasn’t ready to let her go. Not now, not ever.

He wiped his eyes with his shaky hands and kissed her gray hair, basking in her natural scent for as long as he could. He wanted to remember her in every way possible for as long as possible. Maybe it wasn’t her time to go yet, but if it was, Arthur had to make the most of it.

“Love, when is Alfred coming by?”

“He said around midnight.”

“Huh?”

“Midnight.” She said louder in his ear.

“Midnight? Isn’t that a bit late?” Arthur looked at her.

“He has a long drive here.”

“Ah, right.” He did not. Arthur knew Alfred had moved closer to them over a month ago, but he didn’t have the heart to correct her. If she said he has a long drive, then so be it. Happy wife, happy life.

“I should start cooking for him so he has something to eat when he gets here. You know how strong his appetite gets.”

“Darling, you don’t have to cook. He knows how to do it himself.”

“I know that. I just feel like making something today. What do you think he’ll like?”

“A cup of tea.”

“He does not like tea, sweetheart.”

“Ah, right, right.” Arthur waved it off, not caring about Alfred at all, and walked over to his walker so that he could join Kat in the kitchen. Any time apart from her was too long.

“I can make some tea for you.”

“What?”

“I’ll make some tea for you.”

“That would be lovely. Thank you.”

As quickly as her bad hip allowed her, Kat made her way to the kitchen to make Arthur some fresh tea. Arthur couldn’t stop sniffling as he slowly followed her to the kitchen. The nurse came over to Arthur to help him get the walker through the tiny hallways and Arthur stopped momentarily to ask the nurse.

“What day is it today?”

“It’s Monday.” The nurse replied.

“That’s what I thought." He recalled seeing 'Monday' in the newspaper earlier, so he wanted to ensure his memory hadn't totally failed him. "And is Alfred coming tonight?”

“No, he’s coming next week.”

Arthur’s brows furrowed once more and he nodded with tears in his eyes, confirming what he didn't want to accept. “That’s what I thought. And Kat. Is she..?”

“..She’s waiting for you in the kitchen.”

“Well, I knew that!” He snipped at the nurse, then grunted as he regretted his attitude. He let out a shaky and emotional sigh. “Could you tell my brother to visit us tonight?”

“Yes, I can call him.”

"Tell him to bring Mattie and everyone."

"I will."

“And don’t tell him I cried. I don’t need him asking me questions about it.”

“I won’t.”

“He’ll see it for himself when he arrives.”

His brows upturn again and his lip quiver returns. Arthur lets out another long, unsteady breath as he amps himself to reunite with his wife in the kitchen. 

“Are you alright, sir?”

“I just need a moment. I’m getting ready for her grand finale.”

[absoluteabsolem]

i watched blue valentine this morning and i cannot stop thinking about it about how fucking devastating yet so ordinary it is. the love was there and it changed everything and then it was gone. how did we get here ? none of us can remember but there's no going back. how could there be after everything we did to each other

[apocalypticdemon]

y'know. it really sucks to feel yourself back-sliding, mentally, when you know you've been doing pretty alright for a while