#I've never been so engaged with death note lore before

[numbuh424]

shoutout to whatever L and Light had going on in Time Speaks

[resowrites]

Illumë - Part 3 (ROP series).

Summary: A Noldorin elfs desperate situation draws the newly awakened Annatar back into her acquaintaince. In return for his help - and her freedom - he demands a price she’s reluctant to pay. Growing increasingly doubful of both him and her own mind, can she even trust herself to make the right choice? *Can be read as a oneshot, but here are parts 1 & 2.*

Pairings: AU!Annatar, Unnamed!female elf, AU!Maedhros.

Warnings: Dark themes, sarcasm, forced captivity, coercion, manipulation, angst, ambiguity, mentions of death/afterlife/failed relationship, dialogue heavy, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2293

A/N: Hi folks, so I’ve decided to make this a short series. I’ve no idea how long it will be as it depends on my schedule but probably around 5/6 parts, maybe longer. It’s not really ROP/canon based though you can read it as a rough prequel. Some knowledge of the lore is required. I know there won’t be many viewers/readers so thanks in advance to all those who do interact and I’m open to feedback if you have any. Enjoy - R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Original gifs/pics not my own, no copyright infringement intended. Thanks for visiting.

Illumë - Part 3.

She spent many long hours each day awaiting the fire once more. After almost a week, she began to fear that Annatar had caused the pain all along. Mercifully, she was free of him most of the time. He returned to the chamber around early evening and guarded her until she awoke at dawn the following day. He would try to engage her in conversation but instead, she would pretend or at least attempt to sleep. She found she no longer had an appetite which worsened her already weakened state. She was surprised her recovery was so slow. Had the Valaar made her vulnerable so as to be taken in by him? Was that why she'd been returned at all, and so quickly? But how was she to stem the tide of his evil? What was it about her that proved equal even to his cunning let alone great power? Either way, she resolved that she must escape him, and quickly. Of course, he was still confident that eventually she'd be won round. After all, she had no immediate family left, she couldn't recall the last time she visited Lindon or even spoke to another besides Cirdan when she took refuge by the sea. She was almost entirely alone, and sooner or later he would force her allegiance. Of that she was sure. 

Desperately she tried to clear her mind and instead focus on reaching Maedhros herself. She knew there was little chance, he no longer resided in this world, and never before had she been able to reach him merely by thought. But on and on she tried, until the dim light streaming from the windows disappeared entirely. Exhausted and pained she gave up, knowing that Annatar would soon return and she couldn't risk him figuring out her plan. She felt tears flood her tired eyes. If she couldn't get Maedhros to help her she would be stuck as Annatars thrall until he no longer had a use for her. How wretched she would be. With all her might she heaved onto her side and tried to sleep. She didn't wish to be awake for the appearance of her captor.

***

"Meleth nîn"

"Meleth nîn..."

The voice drifted to her like the last notes of a song. But from which direction? All around her hung a mist as dense as those of the Grey Havens. Had she been transported back somehow? Wherever she was it had neither sky nor horizon. Even the ground beneath her had no form. Was she floating? Her body felt no lighter than it did of old. She turned slowly in the hope that something, anything may prove a marker of where she now found herself. And it was then that she saw a shadow, large and unyielding, advancing in the fog. When at last she could make out its shape, her breath caught in her throat. "Meleth nîn... I've found you at last!"

"Maedhros? How can it be...?" He was standing in front of her now, as plain as if she were awake. He looked as fair as the last time she beheld him. His long red hair flashed as in a light breeze yet his eyes were as gentle as ever. The most handsome of Fëanor's sons he remained, yet most like his mother in nature. Seldom had she seen such joy in his face. She steeled herself, now wasn't the moment for tears. "This is a dream." He smiled sadly.

"I have often said so myself. Yet here we are! I tried many times to contact you--"

"So the fire was you?" He broke off his gaze.

"... I'm sorry. I knew not how else to reach you."

"How is this happening?"

"I don't know. All I know is that you called to me, and for once I could answer. I looked for you in the Halls of Waiting, I sensed that somehow you had come then you disappeared just as quickly. What happened?" 

"The Valar sent me back--"

"But how came you to the Halls? Were you hurt?!" Eagerly he took her hand in his. She pulled it back to her side. "How unchanged you look and yet... different."

"It's been a long time since last we met." He swallowed and cast his eyes to the floor.

"Andaeriel..."

"We were not married, Maedhros. If you must address me then use my given name." He shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm glad we meet again, at any rate. We have much to discuss--"

"I'm afraid there's no time. I don't know by which sorcery we are joined or whether it may happen again and so I must come to the point--"

"All the same, I must apologise--"

"Maedhros, too many years have passed for either of us to still carry ill feeling--"

"But I was wrong to abandon you--"

"You must listen to me! I'm in grave danger. I need your help urgently--"

"My help? I have no sway over the living in Middle-earth--"

"Then you must find a way back to me, I can't escape my peril alone--"

"But what can you expect me to do?"

"Speak with the Valar, it is they who may have engineered our meeting. If they have returned me perhaps they will do the same for you if you wish it?" Maedhros sighed.

"Would it not be easier for you to return here? What do the comings and goings of Middle-earth matter if we can be together once more?"

"Do you not hear me? The Valar have bid me to aid my kin, so if you wish to see me again you have no choice but to assist me yourself--"

"But would you not rather come home? We have been parted so long... come back, vanimelda. Then we might both go to Valinor once more and be at peace." The small, faltering spark of hope still left in her heart went out immediately. She stepped back from his towering frame. 

"... I am a fool." Confusion rippled his brow.

"What do you mean?"

"That is why you appear to me now. You said you looked for me in the Halls of Waiting yet you do not say you left them. Many a long year you could have tried to commune with me, to ask to be returned. But you were silent. I am your only means of reaching the Blessed Realm, am I not?" His pale skin ran almost clear. 

"How can you accuse me of such deceit? Do you honestly believe my love for you is a lie?!? She did nothing but look into his clear blue eyes a final time. 

"Namárië."

"Wait, you can't leave! Please, just listen to me--" he held her fast but his voice faltered to an echo. The haze which had hidden everything from view now overtook her mind as well. She knew not how she came to be in such a strange place, but never again would she attempt to return. 

***

Round and round the halls she searched. The hour was getting late and she was sure she'd missed him. Dejected she slumped against the smooth stone. Would he really have left without saying goodbye? "THERE YOU ARE!" She'd closed her eyes only to be flung into the air by two strong arms. Her shrieks were finally drowned out once his lips met hers. But she pushed him away.

"You're a fiend to frighten me so!"

"Still, it was worth it to have you in my arms again..." He pulled her close for another kiss and that time she yielded. "You don't think I would leave you without one last farewell?"

"Is that all you wanted...?" He grinned as their heads touched. "You will be careful, won't you? The thought of you on another night raid terrifies me..." He cupped her face between his hands.

"Andaeriel, you will never escape me as long as you live..." 

***

"Oh... you are out of bed?" She jolted in her chair. Annatar found her hunched in what was usually his seat, gazing silently out a low window. "Do I take it your strength has returned?" When she made no reply he came slowly round to her side and took the chair to her left. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen. "I'm sorry to have returned so late, my business took longer than expected..." Her stare seemed fixed on a point he could not see. "Something troubles you... what is it?" Rain began to fall in drifts. It would be a long, chill night. Pursing his mouth, he removed himself to the fireplace and tended the low embers. "Well, I am glad to see you out of bed. Will you now have something to eat?" 

"No." He sighed and collapsed back into the seat beside her. "If you will not confide in me then at least let your heart be untroubled. Nothing bad will come to you here, I told you I would protect you as long as you remained my guest." Finally, she beheld his pleading face.

"Yet each night you watch me while I sleep. What is it you are afraid of?"

"I wish only to ensure your nights are restful. You slept fitfully when you first arrived, as though you were troubled by strange dreams..." Something in his remark troubled her though she kept her face still. 

"Does that not befit the strange place you hold me captive?"

"... Were you thinking of him?"

"Of course not." He sighed again and lept up to pace about the room. 

"Why is it that the most remarkable of this earth fall for the equally wretched?! I command you to let him go--"

"You may command nothing of me." The hardness of her voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Your love for him will be your undoing."

"What would you know of love?" He wet his mouth but remained silent for a time.

"Is there nothing I can do to ease your mind?"

"Leave me, I wish for one night of unguarded rest."

"And do you honestly intend to rest?"

"What else would I be about? I'm sure you've made certain I can never escape."

"Then perhaps you would do well to reconsider my offer--"

"And be your servant? Have you not enough Orc for the job?"

"Yet you can walk where Orcs dare not tread. Your help to me would be invaluable and I would see to it you were richly rewarded." She scoffed.

"More so than now?"

"You will have all that you could ever wish for."

"Then I would not be with you." He bowed his head and stood with his hands behind his back. Several minutes passed uneasily.

"You don't wish for Maedhros to return. You even said so yourself. But like a wounded animal, you will use whatever you can to defend yourself. No matter. Still we will create a Middle-earth that casts Valinor into the shade."

"I have no interest in returning even to Valinor, you can create Aman anew for all I care."

"I think you do care, deep down. And perhaps it will be a chance for you to no longer feel lost in the world. You need purpose. I know the feeling well. But you and I aren't meant to languish like the others. Our realm will be unrivaled even by the Valar themselves."

"I have told you countless times, I wish only for everlasting death. Now more than ever..."

"Not when you see the haven I will build for you. And you will be the one all will worship, a true leader the likes of which Arda has never seen. I can think of no one more deserving. You won't just belong once more, you will govern the very hearts of man and beast--"

"What then would you do? For it seems that if all your promise comes true, you would hardly be needed at all..." His mouth twitched.

"I take it that you will at least consider joining me, then?"

"If I do it will be under my own terms."

"Such as?"

"Firstly, I will do nothing to arouse the suspicion of my kin. To them, I will remain as they have known me." 

"I don't know how this will be possible as our task draws nearer to completion--"

"Yet you must find a way to make it so. I won't kill or maim, either. I may be many things but I am not a murderer."

"Is there anything else?"

"Yes, I won't stay in this realm with you. We are to remain loose allies and nothing more." His brow tensed. "Once my involvement is complete I will hand myself back to the Valar for judgement." He cleared his throat.

"I fear that you won't have done enough to warrant banishment from Arda entirely. But no matter, once our quest has been fulfilled you won’t wish to leave my side ever again."

"But you will let me leave? I won't join you under any other circumstance." He smiled thinly.

"You have my word. Well, now that our arrangement is decided, I think we should toast the occasion." He sprung towards a rope pull by the door. "You know, often lately have I thought of our first meeting. How innocent you were... yet I knew you were destined for great triumph. I'm glad you will join me. I promise you won't regret the decision." She watched him grimly, content to let him revel in his victory. 

But from that day forward she would no longer be a victim. Nor would her fate be decided by another. The only pawns now were those who stood in her way and whereas she once regretted ever making Mairon's acquaintance, soon he would rue the day he ever set eyes upon her. 

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[theeretblr]

Hey, apologies if this is rude or invasive, but i've noticed that a lot of the creators on the dsmp seem to have a lot of confusion about the lore of the server. And the go to in that case often seems to be to... ask fans?? That just seems like such a bad practice. As a fan myself involved in discourse, fans are bound to be very biased and prone to misinformation, especially on twitter, so that seems like it could muddle things more, potentially. Don't you guys have like.... a discussion/question channel in your discord? Any character bios to look to? Can't everyone just ask their fellow members for clarification on that stuff, surely getting it from the source is more reliable?

Of course, I don't have any inside knowledge, so this may be stepping over the line, maybe everyone's just too busy to be reached all the time or something, but this is just something that has confused me for a long time.

(Not aiming this at you, btw, i respect you so much as a creator, you're just the only one i could think of as available to ask this :') also, as a side note, imo it would be very cool if characters got involved with your character more if they're curious of all that's happened, since you're literally the historian of the server, lol, but that's just me being wishful. Sorry if this was too long, thank you for your time and all you do, have a good day ^^)

[Long post ahead! Sorry! tl;dr at bottom] The issue with creating lore on the Dream SMP is that everyone has to be a main and interesting character. Unlike regular media where you can have background characters who get little screen time and that's absolutely fine. Since the DSMP is so exclusive, everyone who is part of it wants to have a character with an interesting and engaging backstory and character points. As a result, stories aren't so much "planned" they are more of a negotiation so that everyone involved can have their moment which makes planning VERY challenging.

It is also unfortunately generally a process that is heavily managed by those with the largest audiences. If content is planned with all the people guaranteed to get at least 100,000 viewers on Twitch, everyone involved is going to benefit more. So it makes sense from a logistical side, it also helps create more of a sense of having "main characters" which helps with ease of story writing, but that does leave people with lower average viewers more on the sidelines of the lore and unable to develop their characters unless they start trying to do stuff outside of the "main lore".

We do have a #script-plans channel in the discord, but that is talked in only about once per month nowadays. Outside of that, most lore is planned in DMs and group chats and as a result, a lot of people are left out. For example, before the whole Pogtopia war, I really wanted my character to have some sort of redemption arc for my betrayal in the style of Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender. However, since I was never involved in the preparation and planning of this event, this never ended up happening, so it kind of had to be rushed before the war which I felt was unsatisfying. There was also a time where someone else referenced my character in some of their lore without talking to me about it first and I only found out about it because I saw "Eret" trending on Twitter.

There are so many lore ideas that I've had that I thought could be really interesting, for example, I thought that it could be interesting to suggest that when I tried to revive Wilbur back in January 2021, it caused some sort of rift in the spirit realm that caused The Egg's Bloodvines to start spreading like wild fire. This whole connection could have then been explored more in future lore and really would have brought The Egg plot closer to the "main story" imo. Like imagine trying to reverse engineer the bloodvines to understand the spirit world and reverse death that way or something! But no one but Puffy seemed remotely interested, so nothing happened with that. I'm not the only one who's had ideas like this just get no attention unfortunately.

I do miss the early days of the DSMP lore where the majority of it was improv. For example, the entire L'manberg side was unaware of my betrayal before I actually betrayed them. All their reactions were genuine surprise and betrayal! After that, plans became a lot more pre-written and people started being unable to get involved for fear of messing up the pre-written script. The whole Saving Michael situation from a few days ago was the first instance of actual improv driving the story of the SMP that I've seen and been a part of in a VERY long time! It was fun, though stressful, it reminded me of the early SMP again where if someone had the drive, they could get involved and make their character engaging without worrying about stepping on other people's toes with pre-written lore and plans. I hope I can turn this into a more interesting story piece, but no one has contacted me about Michael so far.

There is also lore that happens on the server that a lot of us just aren't aware of for the reasons mentioned above, but there are also about 40 of us in the server, so we can't keep track of everyone. This is why we ask our viewers as the "hive mind" of chat can generally tell us the correct answer even if there are a few people with wrong info.

In general, interesting lore is very challenging to do on the SMP, especially if you want to get any where near the "main lore" that most people are actually interested in. I hope to think that a lot of this isn't just exclusion, but it definitely feels like that at times and I know it has alienated a lot of creators from participating in or wanting to participate in lore at all which is incredibly unfortunate as a lot of these characters have SO MUCH potential!

Overall, I do wish creating lore on the SMP was more open and democratic, unfortunately, it's just a massive challenge as soon as you want to start actually planning it. This is unlike any other form of media, the characters are actual people and you can watch the story from all of their perspectives. All of these people and characters have to interact and drive the story in ways that don't clash and are interesting and then be able to walk away from the action and continue their own individual story and motives. Imagine a TV show where EVERY character has their own spin of series, everyone from the main "hero" character to the janitor, it's so hard to manage. This causes things to move SO SLOWLY as it's impossible to keep track of all this information at such a scale.

Anyway, that's my piece. I'm sure other creators have their own takes on this situation, but this has been my experience. Hope this helps people understand why lore can be slow to produce but also why some characters don't get the screentime you hope they'd get. I love the SMP and everyone on it, it's done so much for me, but eventually you get to a point of wondering whether working on lore is even worth spending the time on if you're not sure if people will actually want to work with your ideas. I definitely want to do more lore and lore streams, but developing stories that are interesting and actually work towards some sort of goal rather than just people existing and doing things is a big challenge. Sorry for such a long post! Thanks for the question and I hope this gives some understanding of the inner workings of the server. I hope no one finds this upsetting either, sometimes things just work out like this. Please don't attack anyone over this either!

tl;dr Lore is hard to plan because everyone wants to be an interesting character and the majority of planning doesn't happen in the server so most people don't know what future plans are. That's my perspective at least.