#IM INSANE....HIS WAIST...HIS WAIST TO SHOULDER RATIO...

[penaltyboxboxbox]

Lance Stroll photographed by Zak Mauger

[definedareasofuncertainty]

hi frienddd❤️ (im totally gonna spam your ask box but feel free to choose whichever lyric you wanna use)

guilty as sin

messy top lip kiss , how i long for our trysts

without ever touching his skin , how can i be guilty as sin

Also for @galvanizedfriend who asked for these lyrics too

-

She wasn’t doing anything wrong.

In fact, she wasn’t even doing anything. It wasn’t as if she had acted upon any of the… interesting ideas her brain had decided to come up with to torment her late at night. She would chalk it all up to some temporary insanity and, honestly, given the amount of trauma and stress she had gone through ever since she had literally died and come back as a creature of nightmares… it wasn’t as if she could be blamed.

Right?

Caroline held back a sigh, slumping in her chair as she gripped tight onto the table, careful not to break it in her frustration. She could leave. She should leave. Except… she had decided being home all alone was too dangerous given the directions her mind had started to wander, and she could really use the distraction of being around other people.

If only the person she was trying to distract herself from hadn’t decided on a night out as well.

Klaus was shooting pool, out of all things. His siblings playing against him. It seemed almost unreal watching these creatures who seemed to be older than time squabbling and bickering. But what looked very real was Klaus’ backside every time he leaned towards the table.

She bit her lowerlip, her traitorous eyes refusing to look away. God. This was getting ridiculous.

Awful, despicable men who ran her (now ex) boyfriend out of town should not have perfect shoulder-to-waist ratio. Their shirts should not cling to their biceps like that. And they most definitely weren’t allowed to have curls like an angel’s falling over their forehead like that.

She watched as he threw some barb or another after a perfect shot, transfixed. And her gaze must have been burning holes into his back, because he turned around, searching her. And curving his lips into the most sinful smirk when he caught her staring.

Caroline bit down a groan.

He was awful. Terrible. Disgusting. She had to remember that.

Even if Tyler was off to god knows where with god knows who. Even if he had broken up with her through a phone call. Even if her bed felt far too empty and lonely and cold. And even if her mind had become particularly creative and convincing and really, what would a thousand years of experience even feel like?

And maybe, if she just went there once to get this itching done with, she could get this out of her head and move on and-

Nope. Not going there.

She forced herself to close her eyes, even as her breath quickened, images pouring in her brain in flashes of kisses and entangled limbs and the overwhelming scent of him. And-

Caroline opened her eyes to find Klaus sitting across from her at her table, a knowing smile on his lips.

“Good evening, love.”

[k9wa]

HIS CHEST AND SHOULDERS ARE SO REAL. THE SHOULDER+CHEST TO WAIST TO THIGH RATIO IS INSANE. ABSOLUTE INSANITY. SLUT PROPORTIONS. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HIS SILLHOUETTE IS BANGING TOO. THATS WHY HE WEARS THAT CROP JACKET AND LOWCUT PANTS.

HE FLAUNTS IT WHEN YOU ARE WITHIN THE VICINITY. I HATE HIM (I WANT HIM SO BAD)

-Boothill Leg anon

no bc it’s literally so sickening the way its not even like ,, a conscious effort he has to make to be so captivating and his attitude just makes the way he’s built all the more fitting im SICCKKKKK ANON IM SICK.

boothill steadily power creeping blade and vertias for sluttiest build im Telling you why does he as a man as a ROBOT NEED TITS THAT BIG!!!!???

[sakumasmut]

FUCKKKK MY LAST ASK was abt reis waist to shoulder ratio. so imagine how feral I fuckinh got when I saw his new card in that crop top. those hands??? I I.. I... im.. insane so insane my mind blanked out I want him to put me in all sorts of positions and go at it. thank you, I'll put that down on my Christmas wishlist.

the new tour cards got everyone acting up fr

[babieken]

Goodness gracious….

©️newfolder_mx

[spicyyy-muffin]

Sex Eyes

Reader x Paul Lahote

SMUT 

Warnings: Oral Sex

All day. All day Paul had been giving you those looks. It was supposed to be a pack gathering along with the council. Sit around, have a cookout, make some hot dogs and hamburgers. If it was nice enough maybe take a dip in La Push. 

But Paul wouldn’t stop looking at you with sex eyes. You were wondering because of the mind link if the rest of the boys could hear the dirty thoughts you could only imagine he was thinking. 

You were currently sitting in between Jake and Leah. Talking about some chemistry assignment you were working on. Clearly not understand molar ratios. 

You could feel his eyes on you. You just knew it. Looking up you were right. A small smirk grew on his face when he realized I knew. 

Leah nudged me. “Did you hear me?” 

 “What? Yeah, I think you have to balance the chemical equations in the first half and-”

Two burly arms wrapped around your shoulders. 

“Hi pretty girl.” 

“Um and then, uhhh you have to put the molar ratio? I don't know if that’s right. I can come over later to help you if you want?” You turned around, a specific boy already pressing kisses into your shoulder. 

“Hey babe, what's up?” 

Jake was already gone, and you could hear Leah, “No I think I got it thanks though.” 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” His mouth was blowing warm air into your ear. His warmth and smell intoxicating. 

“We are at a family gathering, get your head out of the gutter Lahote.” 

“Mmmm come on baby I just need to talk to you for a minute, please? Pretty please?” 

You huffed standing up.  

He grabbed your hand pulling you along with him. 

You finally noticed the clouds covering the once sunny sky. “Paulllll come onnn, it was a nice day it's gonna rain soon.” 

He turned around suddenly causing you to bump into his chest. Right behind the nearest shrub of trees. His warm hands were suddenly on both of your cheeks. 

Pressing your mouth into his. His lips were moving slowly. He wanted to take his time, work you up to the level of insanity he was currently at. 

“Mmmmm” 

The soft warmth but rough texture of his slightly chapped lips was addicting. You reached up gripping the soft strands of his brown hair in between your fingers. His hand reached behind your neck pulling you impossibly closer. 

“Paul-mm-” 

“Shhhh”

You finally pulled away. Both of you struggling to catch your breath. 

“Do you think we can get at least 50 feet away from the others before you harass me?”  

“Is it harassing if you want me just as bad?” 

The smirk I adored so much back on his face. 

“Who says I love it?” 

His hand landed on your chest. On top of your heart. 

“I feel like sometimes you forget about my super hearing.” 

You rolled your eyes. “I hate you.” 

Walking down the paved road pulling him behind you with his hand. 

“You love me, don't lie. Where are you taking me woman?” 

It was your turn to turn around with a huff? 

“You’re the one who pulled me away because you couldn’t stop looking at me with sex eyes aren’t you supposed to tell me?” 

His eyes widened and a laugh slipped out. “It's not my fault! I told you not to wear that sundress!” 

You slapped him in the chest, “Is that why Embry kept looking at my legs?” 

His face dropped suddenly solemnly. “He what?” He stopped walking. “Embry thinks he can look at you like that? Yeah okay, I’ll teach him a lesson to make sure he can’t look at shit for a while.” He turned around marching away. 

You ran to catch up with him. “Joke! It was just a joke! Babe-” You pulled his arm so he could look at you. “Baby it was a joke, Embry doesn’t look at me like that.” 

His eyes turned into slits. “Think you're funny do you?” 

You started to laugh. “You should have seen your face oh my-” 

His hands gripped your waist, throwing you over his shoulder. 

“Paul! What the hell?” You shrieked. 

His other hand came down landing on your ass cheek. “Ow! That hurt you, jerk!” 

“That's what you get.” 

He walked into the forest again. It was another 15 minutes until the path became familiar. 

“Are your parents still at work?” 

“Yeah they are going to dinner tonight in Port Angeles tonight too.” 

“Good.” 

He walked up the wooden steps of your porch. Grabbing the extra key behind your mom’s aloe vera plant, unlocking the door. 

He turned around grabbing you again but this time wrapping your legs around his waist. 

Suddenly nervous. Until his lips attached to yours slowly walking up the stairs. Traveling down to the sensitive part of your neck. “I'm sorry baby, but I really need you. Like really bad.” 

He pushed you down on the bed, spreading your legs. 

Pressing kisses into your thighs slowly going higher until he reached the wet patch of your grey undies. He reached for the band, slipping the small material off. 

“Is this okay, can I?” 

“yes, you're perfect.”

He smiled one last time and his lips were suddenly on your core, moving ferociously. 

“Baby, baby ahhh.” 

He moaned against your clit adding another level of pleasure. 

His tongue roamed through your slit moving up and down slowly pressing into your hole. An inhuman growl coming from the back of his throat. You couldn’t tell who enjoyed this more. 

He wrapped his lips around your clit suddenly sucking. Your back arched. “Fuck! Paul, please don’t stop, please don’t-oh my god.” 

Two of his long thick fingers slipped in pressing hard at the spongy part he knew drove you crazy. 

“Doin so good for me baby. That’s it, just like that, you gonna cum for me?” 

Your hands tugged on his hair, “yesyesyesyes.” 

“Fuck that’s so hot, you’re so beautiful, cum for me baby, come on.” 

His lips were suddenly sucking on your clit again. His moaning growing again you didn’t even notice he was grinding against the edge of your bed. 

You reached your peak, euphoria spreading in your veins. “Im cumming, oh my god.” 

“Mmmm” 

You felt it travel all through your legs, your clit pulsing on fire, your whole body was swarming in heat. 

Paul kept licking up your arousal until you started to whine. “Too-too sensitive baby.” 

You closed your eyes as he reached your face, lips slanting down to yours. Making you taste yourself. 

You reached down trying to relieve him before he stopped you. 

“Mm too sensitive babe.” 

He went back to kissing you before you pulled away. 

“What do you mean, I wanna get you off.” 

A smile raised on his lips before a slight blush rose to his cheeks. “You already did pretty girl.”

-------

I’m sorry if this was bad I’m kinda new to this, lmk what you think.

But I hope you enjoyed! Requests are open. :)

[illfoandillfie]

Brigid I physically can’t.... stop thinking about Ben? Like just how big he is?? He’s broad as FUCK I just want him to wrap his arms around me ugh it’s legit criminal he’s not my hunky college boyf

winter this is such a mood the amount of time ive spent thinking about his whole shoulder situation is insane and like not to add fuel to the fire or anything but im just

look at that, look how fucking B R O A R D he is

its a crime im not currently cuddling him he was literally built to give good hugs

like not to be a wh*re but his shoulder to waist ratio is going to put me in an early grave

and then on top of all that he has thE AUDACITY to have those hands and those fingers and to keep puttering them in his mouth??? sir im going to need to you stop

[muted-galaxies]

vampire falls

Vampire falls chapter 1- this is our town and we run the show

Under her feet the staircase creaked, the feet belonged to Mabel Maria Pines,the once bubbly care free resident of gravity falls oregon, known by everyone in town. That was of course a different time in the towns history, before the vampires made themselves know, before everything changed. Gideon Gleeful, of all people, was the ruler of the vampires. Mabel sighed in expiration, she was main bait for Gideon, he wanted her, her everything and it made her absolutely sick to her stomach to think about.

Mabel pov

I am part of what I like to call 'the resistance', It's mainly just me, Wendy, Grenda, Candy and Tambry because really? Thats all thats left of the town. We founded the resistance  when Dipper went missing, just a month after the vampires came out of hiding. Honestly when the vampires took over, we all did have little budge on changing our ways to fit what they wanted of us. When Dipper was gone that morning , either taken to be blood cattle by the vampires or drained by one of them, I don't know and i choose not to think about it, the whole vampire take over became more real to me.

When the vampires took over, they took all the men and I don't know why i have a feeling about the time period of most of the higher up vampires, none of them were born before the 20th century meaning the concept of women having any rights is alien to them. To blend in the one rule we did agree to quickly was the dresses which we paired with choker to easily block vampire bites.

We had taken over the mystery shack as our base, we've lived here for the better part of two years now, it's a pretty convenient place actually, surrounded by magic forest full of mythical creatures that hate the vampires as much as we do. Oh and i can't forget the underground bunker where great uncle ford did most of his research about gravity falls' weirdness.

Getting to the bottom step i looked around and am greeted with a sight that had grown to be normal to me by now,  wendy was sat around the table with an old, clearly loved but beaten, ipad.i took in a breath,let it out and  I walked to her sitting down near her. She looked up at me, her green eyes had lost the colour they once held,her hair scruffier than when we first met, the vampires took such a toll on all of us

"good morning Mabel , sleep well" Wendy said her voice was scruffy and scratchy but i payed it little mind instead  i nodded at her. Mornings could go better i guess but they could go a whole lot worse at that thought my hand found itself near my neck,near a bite mark sure its hidden by a choker but the memory of it will always be there to me.

I used to cry most nights,wanting my brother back by my side, some people just don't understand the bond we shared,he knew all my secrets and i knew his.He always had my back and i'm sure he would be for me right now in this situation,I think he'd stand by me ,would he be proud of me for standing up and taking on responsibilities?

"So do we have any plans for the vampires,then " i asked shaking my head to bring myself back to reality.I reached for an apple in the middle of the table and took a bite of it,savouring the taste in my mouth.Wendy shrugged at me before going back to her tablet, i guess she's stumped. It wasn't that i wanted to go out and kill but i will admit i get a bit of a ' thrill ' from it ,im going insane . stupid Gideon , stupid vampires .

Thinking back on everything i pick up on changes, drastic ones from the blissful preteen i was 2 years ago.The main thing that always seems to strike me,and others, is my looks im skinny yes but even describing me as that is too large , arms that are nothing more than skin and bones, a waist that used to be my proudest feature but weirdly enough a chest area that has stayed firm in place, reminding people of my femininity. Attached to my right leg, under my skirt is an old belt fashioned into a strap that can hold a knife for close up combat. As for the dress , i had no choice in the matter, gideon personally picked this dark purple harlot type dress. The one thing i do agree with of gideons clothing choice is the black laced gloves to cover my bruised hands.

I'm not special of course in the dress department, ALL females in gravity falls were given dresses against their will, all from different time periods, all with different connotations to the vampires. Gretta for example was given a formal, yellow coloured dress that honestly lasted 3 days before getting ripped and not repaired. Candy on the other hand had her dress picked out by amelie, one of gideons elusive sisters that appeared when he came out as a vampire, was a lolita style dress with alice in wonderland elements, i think it was the bow on top her head that made it feel that way to me. .

The two teenagers had identical black and white dresses that the middle class apparently wore in the victorian era, wendy has to stick to the dress as she leaves the shack with us regularly. Tambre gets to stay out of the dress and wear something more comfortable for her.

"We do have one plan i guess , we Strom the vampire castle and take back some of the boys that should help us on our attack ratio " Wendy said bringing me back to the whole situation right infront of me, i look at the ginger girl with a raised eyebrow before looking at the other two girls, they had the same look i did.

With confirmation from candy and gretta i turn back to wendy once again, putting my hand on the chair so i could properly lean forward at a slight angle.

"OK so the plan is we send candy and Gretta out first then we send out Mabel and Wendy , got it " tambre said speaking up from the other side of the table, she looked up from her laptop as  we all nodded at her.

She produced a key, holding it up to show us all, the silver had clearly seen better days yet parts of it still managed to catch the light,she then pushed the key across the table  over to me "trust me , I have friends on the inside,well one but who's counting " she looked over at Wendy who sighed in relief, i'd assume that's probably the first news she's heard about any of  her friend's in a long while,the slight relief she felt however was quick to go replaced with the same stoic face she always wears.

With that i pushed the chair back into the table and turned to candy and gretta "well if that's our plan i say we do some training" i said, they looked at each other before looking back at me nodding, i nodded back and the two of them made their way towards what used to be the gift shop. I'm about to follow them when i feel a hand on my shoulder digging in slightly.

I turn around to see wendy clutching my shoulder giving me a worried look all of sudden "we need to act quick,gideon will be getting restless,he'll come for you mabel and you know it" i nod at her holding my hands close to my chest before stepping back,shrugging off her hand slightly

"Prepare for the worst" i say streching my arms out infront of me, lacing my fingers together "expect the worst"

Gideon POV

In the depths of the castle we had taken over in the first few days, was where i decided to sit grinding my teeth together,rubbing my fingers together. The silence is blissful though to me it cannot and never will be complete silence.

Still i sat in my study "mabel darling,you've outran me for too long,you'll be right beside me, just you wait" i said to myself before picking up my goblet of someones blood, the girl had struck one of my heart strings about 2 years ago when she was 12 now she had grown into a extremely beautiful 15 year old.I got a taste when we came back out of the shadows,that one drop has driven me crazy and I wanted to get her as mine and only mine for the rest of her life.

The sound of another person being drained came from the other end of the castle,it was peaceful to hear  a humans poor scream as they hold onto the last bit of life they have , don't fight what's coming affter all this is our town now and we run the show, i put the goblet back down on the table,relaxed into my  chair but then again  one thing still troubled me, always in the back of my hand, where was dipper pines .

That boy was supposed to be the way i would get Mabel to give up her fight against us and be mine,bite that human, drain him infront of her in a helpless state and take her. I knew i'd have to find that boy if i were to ever taste her again, its only a matter of time, he cant hide from me.