#IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE IM JUST BREAKING DOWM NORE
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I had a good day!!!!!!
#my friends coerced me into dressing like SpongeBob today#it was nice#then I had a anxiety attack because I remembered I had form#god I’m so fat man#yknow I try to preach that all bodies are beautiful but#apparently to my ever dumber mind mine SPECIFICALLY sucks ass#do you know how sucky it is to be mentally ill and aware of it???#i don’t know why I hate it#people I care about look like me#and they act like me and people like them#I have friends!!! do you know how much of a deal that is from someone whose only had actual friends for only a couple years???#I’ve never had a friend before that!!#but I still think they hate me and are just waiting to drop me!!!#fuck you brain!! the meds are supposed to help!!! thEY ARENT DOING SHIT#IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE IM JUST BREAKING DOWM NORE#BUT IM HAVING GOOD DAYS#NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TODAY#IT WAS ACTUALLY A REALLY ABOVE AVERAGE DAY#WHY AM I LIKE THIS#I HAD FUN#I FELT GOOD!!! I ACTUALLY FELT GOOD#I just want to scrub my existence out but I like it now#it’s not even the fucking ”””seasonal depression”””#I have depression all th time!!!!#WHY FANT I ALLOW MYSELFT TO FEEL GOOD GODDDJDDKDJDKDK
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