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#IT TRULY IS ABOUT THE SELF RECOGNITION THROUGH THE OTHER (DEROGATORY)
sybaritick · 10 months
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cal sybaritick's
durgetash fic recs 🔪⚙️
i love durgetash. i love evil/evil power couples. i love the drama and the religious guilt and the self-recognition through the other (derogatory) and the insane definitely-not-safe-sane-and-consensual kink.
for this reason, i have read several hundred durgetash fics on ao3. here is a non-exhaustive list of my favorites!
all of the recs will be marked with pronouns, race, and genitals (when relevant) of the durge for your convenience
An Obedient Butcher, A Beast On A Leash by NeverwinterThistle
durge notes: og/white dragonborn dark urge (my favorite!!), he/him with dick
E / 4.8k / sadism and masochism, choking, frottage and grinding / complete
The room was warm. It smelt strongly of skin; overheated, overcrowded, overscented to hide sweat. Fill for this prompt on the Baldur's Gate kink meme: Gortash and the Durge are lovers, but due to the strict orders of tyranny in all things that Bane requires, Gortash is not allowed to bottom, on pain of retribution or revocation of Chosen status from his god. And, well, maybe Gortash really wants to. What might their sex look like with such a restriction? How do they deal?
this author has done multiple incredibly good durgetash fics but this is definitely one of my favorites. the dynamic and push-and-pull between them is excellent, and you can tell they truly do respect each other in a sense, despite being godawful people. they glory in their empire of blood and that's so much fun. and of course, the kink in this one is delicious... yknow, every time i do fic recs i have the impulse to share things no one needs to know about my personal life for at least a couple of them, but you know what, maybe i can keep it to myself just this once. but the point is the way gortash wants to let durge tear his ass up but can't is incredibly hot, and i particularly like that gortash essentially considers it an outdated religious restriction... that bottoming is not actually indicative of True Submission in the way Banites are told to believe it does.
lose the halo, don't need to resist by @lamortactuallywrites
durge notes: they/them half-orc with dick :)
E / 7.0k words / bondage, orgasm delay/edging, kink negotiation / complete
There is no absolution to be found here. They wonder if their father is watching, if Bane is watching, if they will each know the wrath of their gods before the night is through. Yet somehow, with blood drying tacky on their hand, bruises pressed deep into their flesh, and his mouth hot around them like he was made for this, it feels private. Protected.
i adore the kink negotiation in this. gortash is such a jackass (affectionate)... and once they're in it, durge snapping back like an angry dog, struggling so beautifully, when they're too tied up to really fight back is hot. someone insulting you so desperately because in reality they know they're not the one in control is. extremely hot. like "come on tell me more about what a monster i am while you're tied up begging for me to touch you" ygm??? read the fic it's good.
Mutual Manipulations by fermiparadox
durge notes: he/him drow with dick
E / 3.1k words / hate sex, power dynamics, handjobs / complete
Bloodlust is its own kind of aphrodisiac.
i love the characterization of both Durge and Gortash in this one-- resplendently awful. and considerably less trusting of each other, in a way that's very enjoyable. this is absolutely hate sex, and done very well... Gortash wants to subjugate Durge and keep him on a leash, and Durge wants to murder him violently. beautiful!
Marsember Syrah by say_lene
durge notes: she/her with pussy
E / 5.7k words / dom/sub, [consensual] mind control, power dynamics / complete
After a successful operation in the High House of Wonders, Bhaal's Chosen and Bane's express their admiration for each other. It is, predictably, very tense. “Ah, so you’re concerned for my wellbeing,” he said – calm, even as a thin trickle of blood rolled down his neck. “You needn’t be. Our masters commanded us to cooperate, after all, and in suffering me to live, Bhaal opens the door to veritable rivers of blood. You know him better than I, of course, but surely even the Lord of Murder can see the value of delayed gratification.”
this author has done multiple incredibly good durgetash fics, but this one is my favorite. i love the way they characterize gortash. anyway, normally, being the mind control/brainwashing/hypnosis/etc fetishist i am, i would barely have anything to say about this other than "read this for the mind control descriptions they're so hot that i've read this fic at least four times." (which i have). however not only is that hot but everything else is *also* extremely hot, and well written/well paced. particularly the way gortash "offers" durge lesser banites to kill, and how she enjoys it so, despite not quite wanting to just let him hand-feed her like that yknow... very tasty.
Yank of the Leash by BlueCloverInGreen
durge notes: he/him with dick
E / 28.2k words / dom/sub, grooming, noncon and dubcon / complete
Many, many potential triggers. Please read the tags carefully. I will also post specific tags before each chapter. This is a work in progress and my first project. Critique is welcomed and appreciated. Not beta read.
definitely do mind the trigger tags on this one, as the summary mentions, but it's a great guilty pleasure-- and by guilty i mean you'll feel something for finding it hot considering how dark it is, especially with regards to the grooming aspect. i can read some very gory fics, noncon, heavy kink, etc and not question how into it i am, but this fic?? this fic made me feel guilty and uncomfortable and that's a compliment. it definitely gave me the sense "yeah, Gortash would want it like this"
Knowing by @chocolatecatcupcakecheese
durge notes: they/them
E / 3.4k words / power dynamics, cunnilingus, bondage / complete
“What were we to one another?” Tav asks at last. “We were allies before,” Gortash says. “We—” “Allies?” Tav interrupts, sing-song with insinuation. Gortash takes a slow, steadying breath against the echo of desire. That teasing tone of voice is so damnably familiar. “Yes.” His voice emerges lower than he intends. Tav laughs, a single exhaled note of contempt. Gortash steels himself and does not move away when they step closer, close enough to share the same breath. “Is that all?”
oh hey, gortash is trans in this!! that's definitely a favorite headcanon of mine. and it's totally for story-based reasons only (he's so transhumanist cmon) and not because i am also transmasc and also have several power-hungry techbro sellout things wrong with me. anyway, the way they talk to each other in this is *so* fun... their dynamic-- and their foreplay and dirty talk (which for a normal couple would perhaps not qualify as dirty talk) is great.
ménage à quatre by isolasea
durge notes: second person (you) with pussy
E / 2.9k words / power dynamics, BDSM, dubious consent / complete
Your Urge and his Hand, on each side of your mind and body, pulling you apart. Or, Gortash: [fucks like a tyrannical despot] Durge: [surprised pikachu meme face]
this fic is so much fun for the d/s power kink stuff and it also has some excellent lines wrt gortash's obsession with control. i mean right at the beginning even, “All murder and no play in the Church of Bhaal?” that and gortash trying to put another finger in durge even while he's fucking them and they're barely taking it as it is-- it's so greedy and so very fitting for him.
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draculagerard · 1 year
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bi4bi m/f frenemies with fucked up genders and self recognition through the other (derogatory) is truly an under talked about dynamic. there are NO pairings more queer than that
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trans-xianxian · 1 month
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sometimes when I'm having a jiang cheng self recognition through the other (derogatory) moment it truly does feel like we're glaring at each other from across a table. completely unrelated but thinking about that one time my therapist asked me why I always expect people to be who I want them to be instead of who they are
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leirsulien-archive · 2 years
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the adexis brainrot has been so so bad since i replayed the lt i want to rip something apart with my teeth
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kendallsdreamsong · 3 years
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okayyy heres the roman analysis. cw: discussion of nsfw topics (its about his sexuality. so), abuse (references to physical & emotional abuse, heavy discussion of sexual abuse), homophobia, ummm. yeah okay that should be it
romans sex deal is so interesting to me bc its a major facet of his character but its also so open-ended. there are the 4 main interpretations that ive seen; intimacy, power, queerness, and that hes a csa survivor
intimacy makes the most sense imo. he is most comfortable when he cant see the other party, with tabitha he creates this whole. weird necrophilia thing to justify not having to properly interact with her, and with gerri theres always something *between* them -- a phone, or a door, or the fact that they can never actually discuss it since gerri doesnt want her career ruined. this would also parallel nicely with shivs marriage issues, since those also come down to intimacy. shiv even says, in 3x07, "the relationship was fine sexually and you're loving the intimacy and all?" to roman and like. if anyone knows roman its shiv. self recognition through the other (derogatory). see also: tomshiv/romangerri parallels. theres not rlly much i can say here, its like. just metaphorical enough for it to be a theme but not Too much that its grasping at straws.
the only thing i'd have to say against the intimacy interpretation is that i think the fact that they explicitly said it in s3, *especially at kendalls bday party* (where the csa survivor implications are the heaviest), prob means theres something more. if that was meant to be taken straight-on as a whole explanation of romans sex issues then it wouldve been part of a major turning point in his arc -- instead, well. literally in the next episode dickpicgate happens. so. nothing changed. it reads as a one-off line that reflects more on shiv than it does on roman
if u want to read it as a power play thing, i think it has to be in combination with another interpretation. its certainly not enough to stand on its own, since most of romans sex deal is a Lack of sex. having said that, his relationship with gerri attests to this in a very particular way. it started with gerri degrading roman, with him seemingly taking less power in the relationship (which is only hammered in by the age gap), until u realize just how much power roman has over gerri. yes, gerri is a board member, but roman is a *roy*. yes, hes *roman* roy, but a roy nonetheless. he could ruin her career just by a wrong text message, and he almost fucking did! because he was too shortsighted with his own power that he didnt fully conceptualize how dangerous the game he was playing truly was, even though gerri told him time and time again. either way, their dynamic creates this interesting faux secession of power, in which roman can play a sort of. charade that hes less powerful than he truly is
queer interpretation: okay. this one… definitely has backing. i get that the bathroom thing is about masculinity and exclusivity, but its also very very gay to bring not 1, not 2, but 3 men into the bathroom with you. there is no heterosexual explanation for the mencken bathroom meeting. in any case, there are also lines with double meanings, like "i am a walking rainbow band" and logan saying to "get straightened out" when discussing his sex deal. which is. definitely one way to phrase it! roman also has a very noticeable reaction to being called queer/the f slur by logan, which to me says theres some truth to it. overall, i wouldnt say this makes sense as an Explanation of his sex deal, since yknow. his relationship with gerri is to some degree about sexual attraction, from what i can tell. i think hes just queer And has a lot of psychosexual issues. he can do both❤️ (i also left out a Lottt of examples of him being. so manliking. like his entire agreement to "seduce" eduardo, saying "i could rim with vim", etc. theres a 5 minute fancam of him just being gay and the only reason its that short is bc of tumblrs video limit. to give u an idea of just how not-straight he is)
the csa survivor reading is. well. okay. he has a tendency to separate "sex" from "bodies", for example when tabitha says shes wet he cringes and asks her to be less specific. even gerri and romans whole Thing carries with it the knowledge that it is solely gerri degrading roman, only mentioning his behavior and not his body. roman does say shit like "i'd lay you badly but i'd lay you gladly" but like. gerri has made it VERY clear that its not gonna get physical and they both know that. which means roman can make those advances without actually having to fulfill them. additionally, (edit: nvm im proofreading and this is all wrong, sorry i wrote this in the middle of season 2 i didnt know what was coming) he feels isolated from the family bc they think hes "weird"/"has something wrong with [him]". this can presumably be brought back to the dog pound, as thats when he "went weird" and was sent to military school. however we know that his recounting of the event that transpired is unreliable, seeing as kendall confirms later that that wasnt the whole story. ssssso. something big happened around the same time as the dog pound. we get mentions of bedwetting, which is a common symptom of csa, and he makes a Lot of incest/pedophilia jokes, particularly where he is the victim (see: "…said the father as the sexual assault allegations poured in" "like a camp counselor in my butt when i was 12"). like, um, more than any other sibling (except for shiv, whose incest jokes are also always about roman). ESPECIALLY in season 3, like. it feels like every time roman is on-screen in s3 theres some joke about him wanting to fuck his mom. in any case, this has all been talked about before. if u wanna see more about it, heres an article discussing it that i really liked: https://medium.com/@krpilon/successions-roman-roy-is-a-csa-victim-here-s-why-b96aa628fe71 . what i havent seen discussed while ppl talk about this interpretation/theory, is his role in the argestes panel. for a refresher: the panel was waystars initial statement following the news of the sexual assault and murders in cruises. shiv and kendall take haphazard turns making statements, while roman is notably quiet. now, u could just say that this is a metaphor for their respective roles within the company, and u'd be right -- shiv and kendall are really the only two that are at all being considered for ceo, while roman fades into the background, despite technically being there. but i wanna try out a different interpretation. lets take a look at the cinematography first. at ~50:56, kendall says, "we dont know." at the same time, the camera moves to romans face. kendalls voice is overlayed, "right now we just dont know". before zooming back out and focusing on the rest of the panel as kendall moves on. if were running with the csa survivor interpretation here, which we are in this case, this would reference people not knowing about romans sexual abuse, only bolstered by the fact that the argestes panel *was literally discussing sexual abuse*. finally, the only thing roman says during this panel is, "we'll do whatever anyone wants". again, double meaning. theres other stuff, like in 3x01 the camera focuses on roman when the possibility of logan sexually assaulting someone is brought up, but that was the most clear example i could see of cinematography being used to imply this
FUCK i forgot another thing with the csa interpretation. okay so like. theres sexual abuse within the company. thats a pretty big piece of season 2 and season 3. and we know that the violence of capital (abuse within waystar) is the violence of the family (abuse within the roy family). so it would make sense that there would also be sexual abuse within the family. this leads into theories surrounding rose as well, since if romans csa mirrors the sexual abuse in cruises, then the murder of rose would mirror the murder in cruises
IN ANY CASE. those are the 4 most common interpretations ive seen. i agree with all of them to some degree, but i also trust in succession's ability to throw us curveballs
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pumpkaaboo · 3 years
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anthy for the character ask thing?
Sexuality Headcanon: ace lesbian. probably arospec as well. Gender Headcanon: none binary. doesn't have any binary. (genderfluid) A ship I have with said character: utenanthy by far, they're just so ;-; listen it's about the love as a world-rending choice it's about the decision to care for another person it's about love empowering you to realize you're worthy of giving compassion to yourself as well. A BROTP I have with said character: idk if this counts but nanami. i think that post-canon they could be very good friends. and i think their dynamic in the show of self-recognition through the other (derogatory) is really interesting. A NOTP I have with said character: akio. A random headcanon: gets really into tech/computer science after ohtori because it's something that wasn't really ever present there (except for the projector which could only really do one thing). uses this knowledge to send malware to nanami. General Opinion over said character: THE BEST MOST WONDERFUL MOST PRECIOUS I CARE HER. one of the best-written characters of all time i think. the way the writers manage to maintain her agency and allow her to do horrible things while keeping her motivations and actions sympathetic is truly a feat and i applaud them for it.
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sunritual · 3 years
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Let’s try this again
They should make a law where if the police don’t read you your Miranda rights you get out of jail free, like if you don’t get your receipt at fast food restaurants you get a mail free
The shaggy law - There should be a law that if you continuously and shamelessly deny doing something, no matter how indisputably obvious it is that you did it, you should get off free for pure savegery.
Confederates as “rebels for tradition” is laughable
Ram rainbow spiral horns profile.
People think grammar rules are etched into the universe — they’re not. When people say AAve is incorrect and ignorant, they say that their conception of how one should speak is inherently correct despite no evidence/truth. Grammar is agreed upon not mandated
Hippie sauce infusion pizza joint
Plain nude balconette with little purple and pink flowers at wiring
How could anyone predict anything happening but how could any be surpised either
Hierarchies - nahhhh
Humans aren’t inherently higher than any other creature or thing, but as humans i don’t think it’s wrong to prioritize other humans. There no better or worse but there is optimal for certain environments and lifestyles.
What differentiates a piece of art from a slightly different replica - when is it an entirely different piece altogether? Moving a figure slightly? Adding a splash of paint ? Changing a color to the point where no one could tell? Is the persons perception the deciding factor or what’s actually on the canvas. If abstract art is about the perception, and the waning behind it - does it change with these things?
An exhibit where people are invited to paint over and destroy or change the art
The differences between us and other. Are feeble - not illusory but
Periwinkle sky blue black and white each of a half circle . Faded out
Uni should be about exploring ideas — new and old famillar and foreign - honeing writing reading reasoning debating listening etc skills.
Umm, Karen were your parents married when you were born?
Ummmm no, umm i mean , uh ,yes —what??
Then why are you policing what other people do?
Dark blue light blue orange lemon circles layer on top of each other, several difffent sizes
Job apps tip!! For every job you apply to , Change your last name on your resume to the last name of the hiring manager and they will think you are related to them and hire you with nepotism. ( then, or coarse, legally when you get the job)
Unpopular opinion: i don’t really mind diarrhea
I for one think it’s incredibly brave of the brats girls to reclaim such a derogatory term
Starting every Describtion of every British show with “its kind of like skins but..”
Beanie baskin took that treat she snatched it - she ain’t even askin
The squad bod - a group of ghost friends share one body in which they have to live their lives -
My playlists are a matter of fact, not opinion. They reveal truths about the human experience
A cats gorilla imeritive of aesthetics.
I don’t chose them, they are not for joy but for truth. They are not intelligible but feel able
📝 narrative - longing
👼 chaotic
🌾 childlike wonder
Things that seem homo and phobic ATST
- Woodstock
- Brown eyed girl
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on ya when you think everything BG a gone wrong and everything bows up in your face
If women can’t do drag because they have an advantage then what is drag? Is it having good looking tits and a waist ? Looking like woman? or is it about having charisma uniqueness nerve and talent?
Examining Tik toks through different philosophical lenses
What makes it so they put parenthesis around lyrics in a song? What intonations and such make it parenthesis worthy
What’s an article of clothing from your childhood that you viscerally remember for seemingly no reason
I feel like the problem with the property brothers is they had too good of a childhood
Do you ever wonder if personality traits would be diffferntnin different cultures? Would a quiet person be even quieter if they were brought up in North Korea? Or the same amount of talkativity? Do we have the traits no matter what, or are we inclined to be more of one way than the others around us. Are personality traits created by comparison to those around?
Maybe the anxiety comes from knowing your not “supposed” to be as quiet as you are. You don’t really want to talk, that’s okay , but it’s expected that you do. So you are anxiety that your not living up
I find happiness every single day
This feeling has made me so appreciative of my mental state usually. How many people feel like this on the regular? How many people have this as their default? I am so lucky. My default is happy. I have my issues, but i need to appreciate the gift i was given. I was given elation. Childlike wonder. Curiosity. Adventurousness. Self completion and fullness. The rest will come.
If you see a celebrity you want to talk to in public but don’t want to bother them, make sure they don’t see that you saw them and start a fake conversation telling a friend that they should buy a product they are a sponsor for, and that they should use their coupon code. When they approach you to thank you for being such a loyal fan, obviously pretend to be shocked that they just so happened to be there
Christianity excuses selfish politics and beliefs
Things i never would’ve noticed if they weren’t pointed out to me:
-Left and right handed ness
Rating sports teams by uniform colors
Balloon animals but make it clothing!
Logics doesn’t care about your feelings, but it certainly cares about your biasees.
He who findeth keepith, whilst he who loosith weepith.
Religious thought often starts at the conclusion they want and attempts to make arguments justifying it.
Jewish debate starts with an agreement that we are going to follow the book, but argues about what the book truly says. Not good enough when you are still just following the book
Why did Jesus need to die for our sins
Dream - swimming in a lake and bump into something you think is a human tying to save to but is it! Oct 29 9:03
Candle company logo etc
I’m sorry for your loss
It’s not oka
If people can accept that stupid bad jokes can be
Is there a reason for each thing existing? Sufficient reason
Understanding if an area is a matter of perspective or fact? Is it Emperical ?
If you assume you have free will you limit your critical thinking ability and therefor stour actual free will - you need to navigate technology such as algorithms that show you why at you want to see or you completely loose free will - you cannot chose when you don’t even know a choice. there is Somthing controlling you
Revelation is within it doesn’t involve others - can happen in a moment
Revolution- requires work and years and years of convincing others m
What counts as a second chance? What counts as a first chance? What does giving someone the benefit of the doubt entail ? Letting them out of jail , or letting them have a 2nd term as president.
**Picture of coke or Pepsi book**
Trump supporters be like: THIS is the BALLOt sleepy crooked joe SEND to MY neighbor. So much FOR democracy
One flew over the coup coups nest
Ashge-nazi = Jewish trump supporter
The heathers of the USA are Cali, New York and Texas. Florida, too
Shape shifting would solve all of this. I could go to Washington DC, pretend to be trump, concede then leave. It would be hilarious, however if me and trump looked identical and had to so the most idiotic crazy shit to prove to America that we indeed are the true DJ.
Coup busting outfit - light cute short sleeve camo shirts , army green super utalitarian cargo pants , double sash belts in leather with grommets studs or spikes (to be decided by team (with democracy) or left up to the individual) leather (vegan available) lace up knee high boots (maybe with spikes if not too 2012) and the pies de resistance two army green denim shoulder high gloves that fold down as far as needed for the comfort of the fighter. Will be adorned with patches decided by the wearer. Edges will be frayed to honor to the coup busting aesthetic and spirit of the endeavor. We can decide on a signature lip color, but spf is required for all fighters. Of coarse we will have those football stripes below the eyes, don’t be stupid.
How far away can something be from a face and still have humans think it’s a face
Senator Portman - i hope you are well, and want to thank you for the hard work you have put in to this election. However, it has become abundantly clear that joe Biden and Kamala Harris have secured more than enough electoral and popular votes to warrant recognition as president and vice elect. Upon reading the transcripts of he hopeless court cases, there is absolutely no evidence of vote measurable fraud. is time you stand up for democracy and face reality by congratulating he pair on their success. Americans and scared and they need a powerful republican voice to demounce the unsubstantiated conspircy theories that attempt to thwart democracy in this beautiful county. Please do the right thing , and stand with sanity, freedom and democracy. History books and citizens will thank you. May god bless you, your staff and loved ones
Could mermaids exist through evolution in the future
Me learning about real us history - all the nations destroyed by the USA—- I’m the baaad Guy
The rest of the world - duh dodododosodo
Print that looks like a page of writing that has been sourced in water so it’s bleeding and darker in speckles
Zamps= examples
Clothes with green screen cut outs
Robots don’t need to be sentient to destroy us.
Navy mock neck long sleeves big orange and little white stripe on tube cage sides
A veritcal line stretch waistband
Cross cross and straps back
Square high neck
Scarlet polka dots around can light blue text and beach image as front
Blue stroke red inside square, blue triangle rainbow with eye and funky font
Y either know a particular topic or not , but it’s hard to pin down intelligence on one category
Cream background , ice cream pink script name kinda bev hills hotel script looking ish
Move your mouth in a differ way
Supersonic vibrating butt cleaner
Half magenta half red violet a blue teacup in the center with white floral frills thick serif font
Pink background am orange flower in a vase white present ribbon n red as a table
An app that familiarizes people with science - through experimental learning ― hands on experiences that make it seem less top down and authoritarian , and more like a set of steps that we take, things that anyone can do to get closer with nature and the world
A social media philosophy app - teaches what others said and gives people a chance to express their views , postulate, argue, etc gadfly? How would be avoid a shit show, how can we make social media more humanitarian. how can we care about people while also expressing deeply held ideas , how can we encourage users to examine their deeply held ideas without alienating them. How can we discourage hatred and abuse and groupthink with design? How do we slow people down and encourage them to recognize the human behind the screen. Street epistemology? Socratic dialogue?
Socrates - asking questions. Breaking it down to bits. Deeply understanding their argument. Asking about different possibilities and circumstances. Take vast assumptions and show scenarios that make go against them.
Build fact checking into apps
Narrative self vs experiential
Walks you through steps of the sciefitifc method and encourages you to explain how you feel each step actually helped you- then walks you through a scientist doing the same for their reasarch
Republicans only want to be free in the specific ways that benefit corporations
Are Christians more willing to support the death pen early because they already believe in the cruel and overstepping punishment of hell?
Where did the idea come from that you need to remain impartial when trying to persuade
The idea that there is someone in a similar but different dwelling, hearing similar but different sounds and feeling similar but different feelings is wild
We synthesize sets of traits, and particular actions in a super biased culturally constructed way
With the way we see things as humans- we categorize things into groups that aren’t really reaaal ― paratheletic groups
I just want the people and jobs that benefit society
Connection to nietzsches Dionysian art and eckheart tolle/Taoism
No matter your personality, there is probably a part of the world that you would fit in with naturally.
An ordinary girl is selected as one of the representatives of earth in the first meeting of various alien species after one advanced planet discovered and United 10. Confused as to why she was chosen, she goes on her journey meeting
Wha ba Bada da da da da dada he’s a wha ba ba dadada as a matter of fact it’s not my fault if you came up here thinking that you would win
Wanting to break boundaries and rules for the sake those who are hurt by the rules
You are imagining the best case scenario of the life you want to have and experience Ming the reality of the life you so have.
Yes her drips cosmetics line to students i. Class
Chez it people can goldfish people
Your personality flows where a system needs it to go to maintain balance
0 notes
Text
Let’s try this again
They should make a law where if the police don’t read you your Miranda rights you get out of jail free, like if you don’t get your receipt at fast food restaurants you get a mail free
The shaggy law - There should be a law that if you continuously and shamelessly deny doing something, no matter how indisputably obvious it is that you did it, you should get off free for pure savegery.
Confederates as “rebels for tradition” is laughable
Ram rainbow spiral horns profile.
People think grammar rules are etched into the universe — they’re not. When people say AAve is incorrect and ignorant, they say that their conception of how one should speak is inherently correct despite no evidence/truth. Grammar is agreed upon not mandated
Hippie sauce infusion pizza joint
Plain nude balconette with little purple and pink flowers at wiring
How could anyone predict anything happening but how could any be surpised either
Hierarchies - nahhhh
Humans aren’t inherently higher than any other creature or thing, but as humans i don’t think it’s wrong to prioritize other humans. There no better or worse but there is optimal for certain environments and lifestyles.
What differentiates a piece of art from a slightly different replica - when is it an entirely different piece altogether? Moving a figure slightly? Adding a splash of paint ? Changing a color to the point where no one could tell? Is the persons perception the deciding factor or what’s actually on the canvas. If abstract art is about the perception, and the waning behind it - does it change with these things?
An exhibit where people are invited to paint over and destroy or change the art
The differences between us and other. Are feeble - not illusory but
Periwinkle sky blue black and white each of a half circle . Faded out
Uni should be about exploring ideas — new and old famillar and foreign - honeing writing reading reasoning debating listening etc skills.
Umm, Karen were your parents married when you were born?
Ummmm no, umm i mean , uh ,yes —what??
Then why are you policing what other people do?
Dark blue light blue orange lemon circles layer on top of each other, several difffent sizes
Job apps tip!! For every job you apply to , Change your last name on your resume to the last name of the hiring manager and they will think you are related to them and hire you with nepotism. ( then, or coarse, legally when you get the job)
Unpopular opinion: i don’t really mind diarrhea
I for one think it’s incredibly brave of the brats girls to reclaim such a derogatory term
Starting every Describtion of every British show with “its kind of like skins but..”
Beanie baskin took that treat she snatched it - she ain’t even askin
The squad bod - a group of ghost friends share one body in which they have to live their lives -
My playlists are a matter of fact, not opinion. They reveal truths about the human experience
A cats gorilla imeritive of aesthetics.
I don’t chose them, they are not for joy but for truth. They are not intelligible but feel able
📝 narrative - longing
👼 chaotic
🌾 childlike wonder
Things that seem homo and phobic ATST
- Woodstock
- Brown eyed girl
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on ya when you think everything BG a gone wrong and everything bows up in your face
If women can’t do drag because they have an advantage then what is drag? Is it having good looking tits and a waist ? Looking like woman? or is it about having charisma uniqueness nerve and talent?
Examining Tik toks through different philosophical lenses
What makes it so they put parenthesis around lyrics in a song? What intonations and such make it parenthesis worthy
What’s an article of clothing from your childhood that you viscerally remember for seemingly no reason
I feel like the problem with the property brothers is they had too good of a childhood
Do you ever wonder if personality traits would be diffferntnin different cultures? Would a quiet person be even quieter if they were brought up in North Korea? Or the same amount of talkativity? Do we have the traits no matter what, or are we inclined to be more of one way than the others around us. Are personality traits created by comparison to those around?
Maybe the anxiety comes from knowing your not “supposed” to be as quiet as you are. You don’t really want to talk, that’s okay , but it’s expected that you do. So you are anxiety that your not living up
I find happiness every single day
This feeling has made me so appreciative of my mental state usually. How many people feel like this on the regular? How many people have this as their default? I am so lucky. My default is happy. I have my issues, but i need to appreciate the gift i was given. I was given elation. Childlike wonder. Curiosity. Adventurousness. Self completion and fullness. The rest will come.
If you see a celebrity you want to talk to in public but don’t want to bother them, make sure they don’t see that you saw them and start a fake conversation telling a friend that they should buy a product they are a sponsor for, and that they should use their coupon code. When they approach you to thank you for being such a loyal fan, obviously pretend to be shocked that they just so happened to be there
Christianity excuses selfish politics and beliefs
Things i never would’ve noticed if they weren’t pointed out to me:
-Left and right handed ness
Rating sports teams by uniform colors
Balloon animals but make it clothing!
Logics doesn’t care about your feelings, but it certainly cares about your biasees.
He who findeth keepith, whilst he who loosith weepith.
Religious thought often starts at the conclusion they want and attempts to make arguments justifying it.
Jewish debate starts with an agreement that we are going to follow the book, but argues about what the book truly says. Not good enough when you are still just following the book
Why did Jesus need to die for our sins
Dream - swimming in a lake and bump into something you think is a human tying to save to but is it! Oct 29 9:03
Candle company logo etc
I’m sorry for your loss
It’s not oka
If people can accept that stupid bad jokes can be
Is there a reason for each thing existing? Sufficient reason
Understanding if an area is a matter of perspective or fact? Is it Emperical ?
If you assume you have free will you limit your critical thinking ability and therefor stour actual free will - you need to navigate technology such as algorithms that show you why at you want to see or you completely loose free will - you cannot chose when you don’t even know a choice. there is Somthing controlling you
Revelation is within it doesn’t involve others - can happen in a moment
Revolution- requires work and years and years of convincing others m
What counts as a second chance? What counts as a first chance? What does giving someone the benefit of the doubt entail ? Letting them out of jail , or letting them have a 2nd term as president.
**Picture of coke or Pepsi book**
Trump supporters be like: THIS is the BALLOt sleepy crooked joe SEND to MY neighbor. So much FOR democracy
One flew over the coup coups nest
Ashge-nazi = Jewish trump supporter
The heathers of the USA are Cali, New York and Texas. Florida, too
Shape shifting would solve all of this. I could go to Washington DC, pretend to be trump, concede then leave. It would be hilarious, however if me and trump looked identical and had to so the most idiotic crazy shit to prove to America that we indeed are the true DJ.
Coup busting outfit - light cute short sleeve camo shirts , army green super utalitarian cargo pants , double sash belts in leather with grommets studs or spikes (to be decided by team (with democracy) or left up to the individual) leather (vegan available) lace up knee high boots (maybe with spikes if not too 2012) and the pies de resistance two army green denim shoulder high gloves that fold down as far as needed for the comfort of the fighter. Will be adorned with patches decided by the wearer. Edges will be frayed to honor to the coup busting aesthetic and spirit of the endeavor. We can decide on a signature lip color, but spf is required for all fighters. Of coarse we will have those football stripes below the eyes, don’t be stupid.
How far away can something be from a face and still have humans think it’s a face
Senator Portman - i hope you are well, and want to thank you for the hard work you have put in to this election. However, it has become abundantly clear that joe Biden and Kamala Harris have secured more than enough electoral and popular votes to warrant recognition as president and vice elect. Upon reading the transcripts of he hopeless court cases, there is absolutely no evidence of vote measurable fraud. is time you stand up for democracy and face reality by congratulating he pair on their success. Americans and scared and they need a powerful republican voice to demounce the unsubstantiated conspircy theories that attempt to thwart democracy in this beautiful county. Please do the right thing , and stand with sanity, freedom and democracy. History books and citizens will thank you. May god bless you, your staff and loved ones
Could mermaids exist through evolution in the future
Me learning about real us history - all the nations destroyed by the USA—- I’m the baaad Guy
The rest of the world - duh dodododosodo
Print that looks like a page of writing that has been sourced in water so it’s bleeding and darker in speckles
Zamps= examples
Clothes with green screen cut outs
Robots don’t need to be sentient to destroy us.
Navy mock neck long sleeves big orange and little white stripe on tube cage sides
A veritcal line stretch waistband
Cross cross and straps back
Square high neck
Scarlet polka dots around can light blue text and beach image as front
Blue stroke red inside square, blue triangle rainbow with eye and funky font
Y either know a particular topic or not , but it’s hard to pin down intelligence on one category
Cream background , ice cream pink script name kinda bev hills hotel script looking ish
Move your mouth in a differ way
Supersonic vibrating butt cleaner
Half magenta half red violet a blue teacup in the center with white floral frills thick serif font
Pink background am orange flower in a vase white present ribbon n red as a table
An app that familiarizes people with science - through experimental learning ― hands on experiences that make it seem less top down and authoritarian , and more like a set of steps that we take, things that anyone can do to get closer with nature and the world
A social media philosophy app - teaches what others said and gives people a chance to express their views , postulate, argue, etc gadfly? How would be avoid a shit show, how can we make social media more humanitarian. how can we care about people while also expressing deeply held ideas , how can we encourage users to examine their deeply held ideas without alienating them. How can we discourage hatred and abuse and groupthink with design? How do we slow people down and encourage them to recognize the human behind the screen. Street epistemology? Socratic dialogue?
Socrates - asking questions. Breaking it down to bits. Deeply understanding their argument. Asking about different possibilities and circumstances. Take vast assumptions and show scenarios that make go against them.
Narrative self vs experiential
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faunahudson · 4 years
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settle | self para
Who: Fauna Flanagan and Percy Flanagan with mentions of Rory Flanagan, Conor Flanagan and Sawyer Hudson Where: Belfast When: Feburary 2020 What: Fauna and Percy discuss his opinions on her future Warnings: emotional abuse, derogatory language, Percy Flanagan
It’s pouring with rain the night in February that her father comes to collect her from uni. It was an odd thing that in her adult life she’d begun to rely on lifts, since her and Rory had almost never been collected from school beyond primary. This had partially been because Percy had accused Mary of coddling them by doing so, but mostly because they liked the independence of walking or getting the bus. Fauna had always enjoyed the opportunity to read one of the many paperbacks that she kept crammed in the bottom of her bag. While Rory claimed to like the social aspect of the bus referring to him and Dobsy accusing Tired Pete in the year below of having a gay love affair with the bus driver because he always got off with an under twelves fare way into his teens. It also made people suspect them less of being Tories because their parents didn’t drive them, made them seem more normal. Fauna had liked it that way less reason for people to look at them, and with her headphones in she could ignore the commentary on her sex life that had always followed her back then.
It had been funny, appearing at uni in Belfast. Despite being the new girl things actually weren’t all that weird, she wasn’t ostracised the last way she had been during high school, everything was different in her new classes. In the weeks leading up to her first day there had been the bubble of fear that it would be like it had been in Dublin, that the videos would be found and the rumours would start up all over again. But instead she had been greeted warmly. After classes there were invites to pubs and cups of tea offered, everyone wanted to get to know Sawyer. A few people had even asked about Alexis, which they laughed about over their daily FaceTimes. How funny it was that people liked her when she didn’t really need them to anymore. This new warmth from people had meant that she seldom needed to walk or to take the bus because there was always someone’s car she could cram into, but on this particularly rainy Tuesday she’s been at the clinic later than she expected and there’s no bus for an hour. She knows Sawyer will be working, so she calls her home phone hoping to catch Maurie or her Ma to beg a lift and maybe some dinner. The phone rings twice, when it picks up she goes to talk immediately the way she usually would but she’s halted by.
“Fauna.” Her father says obviously having recognised her number, his tone not annoyed or accusatory for once which makes her immediately wonder if he’s drunk.
“Hey Da, is Maurie there?” She asks, hoping that if he is truly good and drunk he’ll just pass the phone over and she won’t have to prolong their interaction.
“No, her and your Ma went over to your grandparents.” He isn’t drunk, she can tell that by now. If he was drunk he would have put the phone down after delivering that message. “What did you need them for?” If he’d been any other person in the entire world she would have told him it was nothing and then tried to rummage around in her bag for enough change for a cab into town. But she knew if she told him that it was nothing then it would start a fight where he’d demand to know what she was hiding from him, and her feet ached too much for that.
“Oh I was just gonna try and beg a lift from the clinic, scran something from Ma. You know how I am.” She says, though it’s not true. He barely knows her at all. There’s a pause, which lasts longer in her head than it probably did in real life because she’s so fucking cold.
“I’ll pick you up, we’ll go for a pint.” Those were the last words that she expected to come out of his mouth, and she blinks in surprise.
“Why?” She asks before she stop herself, it’s always a terrible idea to question Percy and her heart sinks as soon as she says it. That’s always the problem with living with someone who you can completely be herself with, she forgets that she has to put her guard back up with other people.
“Because you need a fucking lift and I’m the only one in, god it’s not complicated Fauna Eloise.. sometimes I wonder what they teach you up there because it’s not bloody common sense.” Percy snaps.
“Sorry Da.. you’ve just never picked me up before.” Fauna responds, trying to mollify him. “Thanks though.” She adds, he’s not actually punished her since that time at parents week but she doesn’t really want to go through it again.
“Text me the address.” He says, and honestly even though she’s sure she’ll probably live to regret it right now she’s just grateful to think about getting out of the cold. A pint, is a pint after all. Though Percy hadn’t done anything particularly heinous since Sawyer punched Harold at new years, so she supposed she was about due for him to do something to remind her why she hated him so much.
Percy has brought his favourite Porsche coupe and it arrives a lot sooner than Fauna thought it would. She’d almost expected he’d keep her waiting, to punish her for questioning his motives. She dashes through the rain and slips into the front seat, to find Percy listening to the rugby. “Thanks for the lift Da, it’s vile outside.” The weather is usually a pretty safe topic, Percy hates the rain. There’s a brief conversation about the state of the roads, and what she was doing at the clinic before he looks at her and says.
“You can drive can’t you? Why don’t you have a car?” Fauna has to bite her lip hard to keep from laughing at this question. God he really didn’t have any idea what life was like did he? As if her and Sawyer could think about running a car when all they had to live on was the few shifts that she could take at the ER, his barely minimum wage earnings at the pub and what was left of her savings. They could barely afford groceries some weeks, and she’d been shoving the council tax bills underneath the freezer until Maurie had insisted that they take an envelope of ‘Christmas money’ to get rid of them.
“Yeah I can drive, you gave me a lesson once remember?” She reminds him. That was probably the last time that he’d volunteered to spend time with her that wasn’t to give her a bollocking. The lesson hadn’t been terrible to be honest, mostly because Percy liked feeling in control and like he was the smarter one of the two and Fauna didn’t mind learning when she thought the skill was useful. “Canne afford a car though, don’t really need one anyway I only really go to uni and to the pub. Sawyer borrows Glens car sometimes.. if we’re gonna go visit Nana or something.”
He grunts in recognition of the lesson. “You’d have more than enough money if you lived at home.” That’s the second time that evening that he’s stunned her to silence, and so she just stares at him like a fish. Was he really suggesting that she should move home?
“I mean.. I guess. But me and Sawyer are happy where we are I think. It’s nice to have a place of our own, weren’t really supposed to live together at school. ” She responds eventually, she wants to ask him why she would ever want to move home when he’d all but shoved them out of the door when they’d lived there for the month after Ohio. “Besides my single is a bit small for both of us. Sawyers a big lad.”
“Hm.” Is all her father replies it’s not like she expected him to laugh, she doesn’t think he’s ever laughed at one of her jokes but she does have to wonder where he’s going with all this. Her hands fidget in her lap as she waits for the penny to drop but he doesn’t press her on the topic. After a brief silence they pull up to one of the fancy country restaurants that Percy loves where the prices make her teeth hurt. She’s been uncomfortable with this kind of thing since she was a little girl who wore her wellie boots to church. As a kid she used to say she wasn’t hungry anymore and she didn’t want to go inside, which would usually cause him to call her ungrateful and all but yank her from the car while Rory wailed that he wanted Mcdonalds. Even now as an adult she wants to tell him that she’s not dressed for this kind of pint, and that she still stinks of the clinic. But again she knows that it’s not worth fighting over so she pulls the hood of her coat up and trudges with him inside. 
Percy knows the girl on the door, and he speaks to her in an odd charming voice that Fauna knew he had but had never experienced first-hand. She thinks about this version of her father occasionally though, when she’s wondering how Maurie or her Ma ever ended up with him. It’s this charming Dominant they thought they were getting claimed by, not the bad-tempered man who can never be wrong, that ended up raising their kids. They’re shown to a table, and handed expensive looking leather bound menus. Fauna almost doesn’t want to open the thing, but her stomach is growling so she scans the print for the cheapest thing on the menu.
“It’s on me.” Percy says as if reading her mind. It’s early in the dinner for him to declare this, one of his favourite games when he brought her and Sawyer out was always to order and then ask them to pay at the end of the meal. Watching them try to scrap around for enough money to cover the extortionate tab, before the waitress told them that Mr Flanagan had already paid. It was the kind of humiliating mind game that Percy specialised in, always reminding them that they relied on him, that they needed him. Fauna considers asking him whether or not he’s sure he wants to pay but that’s another question so instead she says.
“Thank you very much Da, you didn’t have to bring me out here. I’d have taken a half eaten bag of crisps.” She jokes, her stomach rumbling as her eyes scan over the options. While she’s not a fan of fancy places, she is looking forward to eating something that she didn’t make in that one pot that never seemed to have quite lost the burned crust that she’d created when Sawyer had distracted her while she was trying to make red wine gravy.
“I know, you’ve always been willing to eat any old shit.. Take shit from everyone. You shouldn’t settle though, not about food and not in your life Fauna.” Percy says, and Fauna is starting to wonder if this is all about Sawyer somehow. Percy had been awfully nice to Sawyer since the incident at new years and she now had a creeping suspicion that he’d just been biding his time, lulling them into a false sense of security.
“I mean I actually do just really like cheap food to be honest with you Da, I really enjoyed the American preoccupation with junk food while I was there. As for everything else, I don’t really think I’m settling. I thought I was doing pretty well to be honest, I left a school that I didn’t think was gonna give me a fair shot, I’m studying to be a doctor at the best school around and I’ve got an amazing boyfriend.. what more could I want?”
“You live in a pokey one bedroom flat and you can’t afford a car, you and Sawyer should be thinking about a house of your own.” Percy declares, and honestly Fauna is just glad that Sawyer was included in whatever weird fucking conversation they were about to have. 
“I mean once I’m qualified Da.. we’ll work on a claim and then we can start to think about getting a house and stuff. But I’m in med school right now, that’s you know.. expensive.” She wants to mention her trust fund, because it would solve every single problem that he keeps talking about. But she’d rather try to work out where he’s going with all this first. 
The waitress arrives at that point, and Fauna hasn’t even really thought about what she wants though she decides to use this to her advantage. “Can you order for me Da? You know what’s good here better than me” Percy actually almost cracks a surprised smile at this, letting a Dominant order for you is good manners in his book. Fauna has never been opposed to this kind of power exchange when it’s consensual, though usually not with her father. But she knows that he thinks she’s a terrible submissive, that she’s not willing to follow any kind of rules so little gestures like this can occasionally help with keeping him in a good mood. He orders her something with goats cheese that Maurie apparently likes and a regular pint. 
“I know you think I’m some kind of monster, because I won’t just let you and your brother waste your lives. And you act like I’m a cunt because Ive always tried to stop you from parading yourself around like a whore and acting like a nasty little brat.” Percy says, and Fauna takes a long drink of the pint that’s just been put in front of her. Vodka would have been better. Just when she was thinking this was going well. “But I push you because I know you can have more, and because I always wanted you to find a decent claim. Unlike your moron of a twin, I always knew you had potential. You’re decent looking like your mother, and nobody would ever shut up about how clever you were even when you were a kid. Though it was always like pulling teeth getting you to show it. Obviously there was no chance of you going into the business because you’ve always been submissive and overly emotional.. but I pushed you to do what you were good at.” Fauna wants to say that yelling abuse and emotional manipulation go a little further than ‘pushing’ and that if he really wanted to push her he could have offered to help with medical school but she holds her tongue. “I’ve always been trying to teach you not to be a chump and to be able to stand on your own two feet like I had to. Nobody gave me a hand out.” 
In a world where Percy wasn’t the worst person on the planet , Fauna might have spoken about him with pride. He was self made after all, his friends were always clapping him on the back and talking about his clever investments outside of the business. But he’d soured every page of his biography with his actions, and left her uninterested in knowing how he made the money that he so loved to hold over her and Rorys heads. The money that he used to manipulate her mother and Maurie into submission, and literally the only thing that made him any difference from the drunks that he sneered at on a Saturday night. 
“You’ve been making improvements though I’ve noticed, since our talk in Ohio. You’ve been more like a submissive should be, less crass, not dragging yourself out of bars like a tramp. Minding your manners.” Percy says, and Fauna raises an eyebrow. “And New Year reminded me something.. that I’ve been too hard on you particularly in a way. I always lump you and Rory in together because everyone else does. Which was never good for you, you don’t want people thinking you're a layabout junkie like him. I gave you the same treatment because I thought you needed the same push to succeed. But you’re a submissive and so I shouldn’t expect you to be able to do things for yourself. You’re supposed to be weak, you should be obedient.” In her mind Fauna punches him square in the jaw, and she stays visualising that as the waitress puts something that smells delicious in front of her. “But when the Yank fucking battered Harold, I realised that getting you under control was about finding you the right Dominant and shaping him. At first I thought the Hudson boy was a total waste of fucking air since he’s a skint drifter, with no decent family to speak of, American and he seemed like a pansy. But then I realised he’s got balls, and he seems to have enough of a grip on you that you’re no longer spreading your legs for anything that breathes.”
There’s a part of Fauna that feels some sort of twisted pride that her father is starting to approve of Sawyer, the words that are coming out of his mouth in many ways disgust her. But that stupid little girl who just wouldn’t give up hope that her Dad would someday be proud of her was jumping up and down that her Dad thought Sawyer could be a good match for her. 
“I am committed to Sawyer.” She confirms for the millionth time, always feeling a little sick when he brought up the idea that she might have sex with anyone else. “And he’s a really, really good Dominant.”
“Hm.” Percy responds as he tucks into his steak. “It’s his future I’m interested in, like I said you two can’t spend your life in that dirty little flat. You need to be looking ahead, and I mean to help with that. You need to keep focusing on uni obviously, and on being a decent submissive. But I can help give him a push in the right direction.”
Fauna has no idea how to respond to this decision making process, because on one hand she wants to try and shield Sawyer from everything that comes along with having Percys attention. But if Percy warming up to Sawyer meant that he might relax on his one strike and you're out policy, then it would help them both sleep a little easier at night. So she doesn’t really say anything for the rest of dinner, he makes a cruel remark about her being greedy when she wants to order dessert, and takes several very underhanded digs at how much Rorys rehab costs which she can’t ignore and has to bite back on. But it’s probably the longest they’ve ever been alone in a very long time. 
When he drops her off back at her apartment he reaches into his wallet, and pulls out a wad of twenties. “Buy yourself a bottle of decent booze.” He instructs. “You should be able to serve something that’s not shite when you have people over.” She has no intention of using the money for that, but she thanks him all the same and gets out of the car without feeling totally like shit for once. Which in turn makes her feel guilty, like she was betraying herself and Rory somehow for not totally hating every second that she spent with Percy. For letting him get away with at least half of what he’d said, Rory would never have sat there passively while he insulted the flat that her and Sawyer worked hard to afford and Sawyers parents who were good hard working people. Yet despite all that he’d said, Fauna considered the meeting to have gone well, and she just didn’t know if that made her a bad person or not. 
Glancing up at the apartment building she could see a light on, and that familiar relief of knowing that she could talk to Sawyer about what was worrying her spread over her body. So without agonising further, she punched in the key code and disappeared out of the rain. Leaving what she could of her guilt and unease behind her. 
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When Health's At Stake, Waiting Is Hardest Part.
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