#InNeedOfSupport

[prorisetraining]

How to ask for help politely: Phrases to use when you require assistance at work?

"Feeling stuck and could really use a friendly boost! Any helping hand or guidance would be a lifesaver right now.

[subliminalsorrow]

I Got My Surgery Date!

December 6th.

My appointment with my GP is this Tuesday to give me physical clearance and then my pre-OP testing is the day before thanksgiving. I'm so excited.

I wish everything in my life was going so smoothly 😒

[nothing-but-perfect-moments]

Some times I think I need my Dad..

I wonder what he would say to me about current issues, or what he would have to say about who I am becoming. Would he judge me? Judge my decisions? like my Mom and step Dad. I wish he was still here, I wish he could have been a better person, so he could be in my life today.

I hate you with every possible fiber in my body, but I cant help to wonder what life could have been like. How you would treat me, and support me.

[subliminalsorrow]

Changes.

I’ve decided to try and have weight loss surgery. I have my first appointment tomorrow. I’m nervous I won’t be able to, but I’m also extremely excited for the possibility that it might happen. I want to feel better; both inside and out. I’ve suffered with being overweight my whole life. In high school, they would weigh us in gym. A friend asked what I weighed, I guess maybe because she saw how upset I got afterwards, and when I told her she was speechless and made a joke that it was my butt and hair. After having my son, it’s definitely my stomach. My pregnancy has played a huge role in my weight struggle. Suffering from HG and not being able to eat for so long, I more than made up for it after I gave birth. I would eat anything that looked or sounded good. It’s been several years now and I am the biggest I’ve ever been at around 250 and also the most uncomfortable. I don’t eat a lot of sweets and I don’t drink soda or eat chips. I’m on a lot of medication, some of which are also contributing to additional weight gain. I’ve put a lot of thought into this decision; it’s something that has been on my mind for several years actually but now that the weight has started to affect me in bigger ways it seems like a better option now. I’ve done research on the risks, what happens before, during, and after the surgery, and I still can’t wait for it to happen (if it happens, that is). I was thinking last night and decided I might post updates here throughout the process. It’s just a great place to get my thoughts out of my head.

[subliminalsorrow]

Update.

Doing my support group tonight. I have my psych eval at the end of the month (which really is only like a week away, what?!) and then they are thinking the beginning of December for my surgery. I’m also down 7 out of the 10 pounds I needed to lose! I’m so freaking excited guys!

So, I guess we will see how the support group goes today. 

Been struggling with finding a variety of foods to eat. I feel like I’m stuck with the same foods and can’t wait to go shopping and get something else. I’m still loving the strawberry Chobani yogurt though. The one thing I have consistently loved through this journey. I’m not doing the best on my protein drinks but I am still drinking them. Need to try and work up to 2 a day since that is what I will be on for the 2 weeks before surgery. 

Also, I have a boyfriend? We’ve gone on a few dates and we talk literally everyday.Today, he told me he loves me. Kind of freaked out a bit. But this past Saturday we had the most amazing date. We went and saw Gemini Man. Then we walked around the mall and got my steps in (getting that excersize in before the surgery). Then we went to the park and walked some more before sitting by the pond and watching the ducks and just enjoyed the beautiful fall day. The trees were gorgeous fall colors and the weather was cool but not cold and we had gotten hot chocolate, which was perfect. After that, we decided to go to the lake and watch the sunset on the pier. Which was more walking; in total we did almost 9,000 steps! We walked out to the pier and watched the sun go down over the water. It was just so peaceful.

[subliminalsorrow]

Kodiak Cakes vs Powerful Oatmeal.

I'm finding it so hard to find a food that is high in protein that tastes good. Yesterday morning I had Kodiak Cakes Chocolate Chip Oatmeal and this morning I'm having Powerful Oatmeal Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal. Comparing the two would be simple.

Kodiak Cakes does not cook like you would expect oatmeal to cook. The oats don't expand or anything, it stays pretty much how it looks when you open the package. However, with the chocolate chip flavor, the chocolate chips seem to become more chocolatey.

Powerful Oatmeal cooks like you would expect oatmeal to cook. However, upon opening the container, there were not oats as I was expecting but powder. This thickened up nice into a thick oatmeal consistency.

I used milk to make Kodiak Cakes oatmeal and, though I was wary after the way it cooked (and I even cooked it a little long due to it not thickening), it was delicious! I ate the whole thing and was truly disappointed when it was gone. It was satisfying and surprisingly tasty. Nice strong chocolatey taste that even the oats seemed to compliment.

Powerful Oatmeal requires water to make it. I was excited to try this and was sadly disappointed. The flavor was bland, it was dry, and I didn't even finish it. The occasional apple chunks were nice, I will give them that.

The price of the two at walmart was close. Kodiak Cakes was $1.87 for a 2.12 oz container and I got the Powerful Oatmeal for about $1.50 for a 2.3 oz container

The Powerful Oatmeal did have more Protein though. With 20g compared to the 14g the Kodiak Cakes had.

Overall, I will buy Kodiak Cakes again. I look forward to trying other flavors and definitely getting the Chocolate Chip flavor again.

[subliminalsorrow]

First Appointment

Just had my first appointment today and everything is looking good! I have to lose 10 pounds and start getting used to using protein shakes. And I have to go do my lab work before my next appointment, which is in 3 weeks. The surgeon is very knowledgable and obviously incredibly passionate about what he does. I'm so excited it's not even funny. I cannot wait to be on the other side and start feeling better all around.

Also, I have a date Sunday! It's been years since I've dated. This should be weird. 😂

[subliminalsorrow]

Took my nose ring out today. I have my endoscopy on Friday and ever since I got my nose pierced like 3 months ago, it has been nothing but problems. It just wont heal. So I thought I would take it out early since I have to take it out for the procedure and the surgery anyway and maybe it will heal a bit.

It really sucks. I loved having my nose pierced. I just wish it had healed and wasn't a constant battle. Taking it out has definitely got me feeling down tonight.

[subliminalsorrow]

All of my bloodwork tests came back fine! Some was a little high but they expect it to go down as a I lose weight and my iron was down by one point so they have started me out on the iron supplement.

I'm so excited; this is just one step closer to the surgery!