#Introverted YT Man Anon

[enchantechante]

I really wish people would leave that woman and man alone.They are being so harsh and rude.She is hurting right now and going through so much,trying to hold it together.So is he.It is clear that there is love between the two.He sent her an apology admitting he was wrong out of no where.He knows he hasn't been who she needed him to be lately.He could've been more open with his communication towards her and should've contacted her to see about her sick parents,but who knows what he was thinking?Sometimes people push the one they truly love away which is probably why he chose to communicate more with his friends,be on the internet etc.Sometimes people do things that only they can understand.I will say,she handled the situation very eloquently.Not one time did she disrespect him or his family.She shared how she wanted him to get help but he chose not to.She stuck around for a lot but in the end,he didn't do the same.She seems like a true sweetheart and I hope everything works out for her.I hope she doesn't feel ashamed for sticking by his side when he needed someone.That says a lot about her character.After this storm has passed,maybe they can cross paths again one day,talk things out and be friends if nothing else.I really want nothing but the best for her.

the sincerity in this message 🥺 whew!

im over here like:

yall astound me. there's so much compassion and maturity here. this is where im at with it - it rly sucks for both of them.

we're all just operating based on our own ideals, compared to that of others', and whatever we can physically/emotionally/mentally muster at the time.

mentality's like this turn things from a him v her perspective to all of us v the problem.

we all just want to be loved in such a way we can feel it. we want honor, acceptance and support. it's one of the greatest things to experience on either end.

and we're that much further from it when we become divisive. and miss opportunities to learn and grow. which is really just another chance to do right by ourselves or by others.

[enchantechante]

Anon been on my mind,Tae.I know you said let it go but I have something to say and hope she sees it...Anon who's bf lost his parent or parentsl,look at it as a blessing that he stopped connecting with you.You don't need someone who switches up like the weather.You don't need someone who's confused about you.You seem like such a sweetheart and one day,the man or woman that's for you will come into your life...they won't cause confusion or use you/your body for their sexual desires.They'll call and text you without you asking.They'll be intentional about their intentions with you at all times.You'll never have to wander about how they feel because they'll always show you and they'll be easy to communicate with.You won't have to feel like you're pulling teeth trying to have a basic conversation.Just wait and don't pay that man child no mind.It's like the Bible and anon said...A man reaps what he sows.He is not the prize,you are.Keep focusing on you.Keep taking care of your loved ones.Even if you do talk to him again one day,continue to show grace and remain the loving,caring person that you are.People like you are a blessing,very rare and hard to forget.Better is coming for you.

A worthwhile addition 🥺💛

[enchantechante]

Nah it's still fuck that yt boy.He did her grimey. I believe if he was black more women would've been calling him a sorry nigga,he ain't shit and so on. Fuck all the excuses yt boy could've and should've check on her and her people. That's just human decency some shit he don't got for her and her family but he got that shit for coworkers and friends who probably ain't shit like him. And who just kick it with coworkers like that? Lol he a user and dumb as bricks. I hope she open her eyes and see that yt boy played her. Fuck that raggedy text. He old ass hell that mf should've been a real man and just showed up in person. Not like he had to work every day lol foh

Alright yall lets talk abt somethin more sophisticated

Yall rly beatin a dead horse w this

[enchantechante]

Sooooo the white boy mom died and she was there the whole time right?Her mom or dad sick now and he ain't even call or visit right but he got all the free time to be online,with his friends and coworkers? Everyone THINKS he's a good person? I did read all of that right,right? But she selfish? How that work? Personally I would love to know why that bitch never checked on them since he was her man? With him not doing that just shows he ain't shit. It's like he saying fuck them and what they're going through but she was there when his was sick. Smfh he deserves everything he puts in the universe. I can only imagine how she feels. That's a straight slap on the face. I see why he can't keep a woman and been married before twice I believe. HE IS THE PROBLEM. Old ass too old to act like that. It's like that other person said.... You never know who someone really is until you get in a relationship with them. That nice guy act ain't shit because he did her dirty. I bet the other women he was with ain't have shit on her. He don't deserve her. She a class act and will find better. He dumb as hell Smfh

Me, having a face journey reading this angry responses:

Yall be so hot at these anons 😂whooa trust me I get it! I try and give a little bit of grace and try not to judge. Its not about who's right or wrong anymore - they know that.

To me, it goes to show when things dont work, they dont work. Theres no need to judge anyone - it doesnt change reality.

She has too much love to give and he doesnt have room to receive or nurture it. I believe thats whats truly needed to have and keep a love like what shes offering.

[enchantechante]

Your inbox been poppin lately Tae lol.

My opinion might be wack but kudos to the lady who got the now ex yt boyfriend.He most likely does have some bipolar problems going on or even suffers from depression.Seem like it.He apologized because he was wrong and he knows it.He was feeling guilty.I applaud her for taking the higher road and not cursin him or the other anon out lol.Good thing she exited his life gracefully too because now the ball is in her court.If she ever wanted to rekindle a friendship or even just checked up on him days,weeks or months from now then she def could and he'll more than likely welcome that.I can tell she's a compassionate person and probably will.

He knows he fucked up.One thing about men is they know when they do some real fucked up shit that they can't come back from.Him chillin with friends and people at work is a coping mechanism.Fam and friends never know you better than someone you've been in a relationship with.Now he gotta reap what he know he sowed.In the end all will be well though.

Wish both of them the best and happiness.

Whew, yes it has been poppin! I fucks w yall tho so I love it! 😌

I stay away from diagnosing people but I cld see why you say something mental is going on.

Mourning something that deep is life-changing. Its disappointing of all the ppl around him it looks like no ones helping him navigate the rest of his life. But maybe thats on par - he never really seemed personally invested in getting the help he needed regardless.

And yes for grace! We haven't even discussed how her temperament is an act of love and compassion as well.m! Definitely a sign of maturity and integrity. It will make her life more stable + happy if it hasnt already.

I wish them both the best as well. 💛 It sounds like they did care for one another and I wldnt be surprised if down the line either of them checked back in w the other.

[enchantechante]

Hi,Tae.I just came back to respond to the person who called me selfish and classless.Ma'am/sir,you don't know me from a stray dog on the street.I have never been selfish to a soul in life and am actually pretty classy.I gave him plenty of time to himself before and after the passing.Matter of fact,his parents and I were very close and his parents,just like the rest of his family,were very happy we were together and planned on getting married.I got pissed off once I saw he decided to spend all of the extra time I gave him to himself with his friends and coworkers for almost seven weeks when he was supposed to be focusing on himself and healing.Also,I don't expect a man to text/call me 24/7.I work 65 hours per week,volunteer with numerous organizations and take care of my family including financially.I have a busy schedule and hate talking on the phone as well but when I'm in a relationship,I always make time and put my partner first.My life has always been busier than his which is also another reason why it's pathetic he stopped reaching out to me when he was doing it daily/nightly at first for months.He never had much to do other than working but his job cut back on his hours so he only worked three days a week.I was very understanding,caring and loving.He's obviously the selfish one.He apologized out of the blue because he knew he wasn't doing right by me by choice on purpose.And because of him being selfish and a asshole,he messed up the best relationship he's had in over twenty years.Oh well.Anyways,thank you for the encouragement,Tae.I love you to pieces.That anon is definitely a silly goose who's very one sided with his/her thinking.I wish you the best,Tae,and happy forth! Anon,I wish you healing and a better thinking process.Lol.Take care,y'all.

Good morning! ☀️ Im surprised you even dignified their comment w a response.

They lost me at "you dont have to talk to ur gf every week". This aint elementary school 😂😂😂

People have communication/intimacy issues and be offering unsolicited advice. Soundin single as a pringle.

Just a way to namecall and be judgey based on hearing parts of the whole story. Disappointing use of the inbox tbh.

[enchantechante]

To the last anonymous person who wrote in about her ex,iIn her message she said she notices he has mental problems but he doesn't acknowledge it.She also said he wasn't always the terrible person he showed to be in the end.Maybe he really does have mental problems and him deciding to hang with coworkers and friends or talk to them more is normal.She doesn't have to be with him but she should at least try to be more understanding.Seems like she's being selfish and only thinking about herself.A man doesn't have to text or call his girlfriend everyday or weekly.One of his parents died for goodness sake.She definitely picked the wrong time to walk out of his life.Very classes.

I understand where youre coming from.

But one thing you havent addressed is - he apologized. A part of him knew there was something he was supposed to do and didnt.

Regardless of what may be happening in his life he acknowledged he's still responsible for at least some of her suffering.

I agree - she can stand to be more compassionate in her perspective. However imo it doesnt change the circumstance or her next course of action.

[enchantechante]

Hi Chantae.After reading messages sent in to you about women in relationships with men who start treating them badly after the loss of a family member such as their parents.Where the men begin to stop communicating with them by ending texts and phone calls,stop responding to their texts and just treating them really bad for what seems like no reason because of the women. I want to know,what would you do if you were one of those women involved with a person/man like that.What would you do? How would you respond?

a relationship...w a yt man?

personally ive never trusted a white man enough to make it passed the 3rd date. So a full on relationship is a stretch for me.

i'd be honest that those week(s) of silence jacked me up. and im not an inexhaustible resource.

yes - everyone makes mistakes. but some of us are making the same ones over and over.

and w every round rejecting self reflection, accountability and resourcefulness to get the necessary help.

and until they can manage their time better, their word better, its best for me release them. and its still love.

just now from a distance. & maybe not forever.

but my future husband is a support and protector. and me for him. and we wldnt leave each other in the wilderness of life alone like that.

we play our parts building trust - like God our word is sacred. and we wld never want the other to live closely to someone who struggled w that.

there is no love without trust.

set a reminder, theres apps that will auto text ppl. i had a bf who scheduled his gm texts just to make sure i got them in my timezone cause he was in brooklyn and wld be at work when i woke up.

& then theres men who will youtube how to fix their car but wont google how to fix their communication. 🤷🏾‍♀️

release them.

-*Chante 💛

[enchantechante]

Lol last anon gtfoh.Did you even read let alone understand the post?She said they talked about all of the fucked up shit he did multiple times and he kept sayin he was going to do correct his short comings but didn't?Did you read where his parent died and she was there before and after but he hasn't even called to check on her and her parent who is now sick?Did you read how he popped up on her randomly as fuck after 2 weeks apologizing how he been fucking up for a long time? She been too compassionate for his weak ass.If he mentally fucked up then he need to be by himself and not out here hurting a dope woman.The average woman would've been out so she obviously extra special. Mfs irritating.Always want women to do the most for men when most men don't even give a fuck. Case and point. Dude apologized out of the blue. She expressed her feelings. He apologized AGAIN and she never responded. That nigga just lost a queen. Him and anon can both go play in traffic.

Right!

Theres a definite disconnect for our readers out there.

Shes done all she can do and I refuse to point fingers. If it's not working name calling is the last thing we need.

But yall be hot behind these anons lol 😂

I knew when I was getting "you know who this is" anonymous mssgs it was gonna be a weird day lmfao

[enchantechante]

But how y'all even continue to be in a relationship with a man who's not obsessed with y'all at least a little bit? Shiiiittttt I need to know how my girl doin,how her day went,did she eat,if she hungry or need something,how her mama doing,did she miss my ass,what them hatin coworkers done did to piss her off,when she off again so I can take her out.You know lil simple shit and my girl worry a lot.I would never stress her on purpose.Them white boys they talkin about trippin.Don't none of them old white dudes deserve none of them and I bet they fine as hell too.If I was them I'll just focus on self.Man if they left anything at any of them white dudes places and it's important ,just get that shit when you can and don't look back.If them old niggas wanna remain trifling then let them be but don't let them be like that with y'all.And one more thing,I see about all of them dudes was married about ten times man leave them old niggas alone.They probably just wanted to fuck.Get y'all shit and move on with y'all life oh yeah and for ol girl who done found a new girl because her dude was tripping,good luck shawty!!!I love that for you!!! ♥️

Anon said,

lmfao

Who you're dating for sure gotta be at least a little bit obsessed. I like how you put that!

And was its new girl or just a friend? I couldn't tell and I read that mssg like 3 times! Hopefully Introverted YT Man Anon updates us 🙏🏽😬

[enchantechante]

Why is Anon blaming his mental illness on his fucked up rude behavior?Dude just a asshole.I know people with mental illnesses and they don't just disappear on their partners for days or more.That just shows that he's a fucked up person and we'll,we see why his marriages never thrived.Lol

Think about it, anon. This is a huge gray area.

Who cld say whats from someone's illness v their personality? What if the someone never claims to be even be mentally ill?

I focus less so on trying to diagnose someone I dont know (bc Im not qualified to do that 🤷🏽‍♀️)

All I know is yall deserve better! We gon see to it! 💛💛💛

[enchantechante]

Hey,Tae!I was once with a white man and it was the worse.He started out amazing.He would text throughout the day and night especially while working,write me poetry,take me out etc.Very well mannered,always opened my door,held my hand in public etc.He was a dream until reality kicked in.Apparently he was married three times before, suffered from depression,he would be in his own little world most of the time and stopped calling and texting unless I contacted him first.Apparently he hates talking on the phone and texting much unless it's with his friends or to talk about anime,marvel movies and tell inappropriate jokes and stories of things he's done through life.He once was on crack before meeting me and I think he had a drinking problem and he was always mentally some where else.He met me after getting clean.I don't think I will ever be with another white man.He was sweet but he the random sadness out of no where and being depressed because he misses friends was a bit much.I got tired of having to contact him all the time too.We would talk or text on Monday then I won't hear from him until I called or text.I remember one time we didn't talk for two weeks.I wanted to see how long it would take for him to contact me but I had to hit him up to make sure he was alive.....but he posting dumb memes and video games on Facebook.His sister in law told him that he really fucked up things with me and deserves to be alone.I'm like whatever bro,I wish you healing because he really needs a lot of help.Just sucks he didn't want my help.

Crack... you say?

Sis he def needed more help than you cld give him. Imagine if he became dependent upon your help in his state. That wlda been torture.

Yall done been through so much! 💀

[enchantechante]

Anon,fuck ole boy.If you can't text or call me then you don't give a fuck.Period.I understand people go through shit.My mom got cancer,I lost my job,I gotta get another vehicle,I gotta find a new place to live cause my cousin stole my money and my late rent,I have depression etc.I still check on people no matter what.Life short as hell and her bf selfish as hell.I know she can and will do better.All those chances she gave that man.Most men wouldn't do the same for us women.Move on and enjoy your life.

Me, reading this Anon:

But you right though! 💯💯💯

[enchantechante]

Good morning.Lol.I broke up with him because I was moving around at first.I travel for my job a lot and would invite him sometime but he never wanted to go.He would always be like...well I do have to work and I totally understand that but his job lowered his pay like crazy.Said they couldn't afford to pay what they were because of COVID.Went from $18 an hour to $10.He was being faithful to a job who didn't care about him because they tried to fire him in the end.The second reason I broke up with him was because of the job.He said I kept telling him what to do because I would suggest jobs to put in for.I knew they were going to let him go because his supervisor is my friend and she told me the company had to down size and he was most likely going to be let go.I make up to $60 an hour traveling and wanted him to try a new career because he said he was interested in my job.I got him books to study and all but he changed his mind last minute and never went to the class smh.While we were friends he was always happy go lucky, always calling/texting,we hung out a lot etc so I didn't know another side was going to come out.When I go to his place,I'm getting all of my shit because I don't have time for weirdo shit.He claimed he was going to do better with communication and focusing on my needs.That was our main problem the communication that I would always bring up.He's like a hermit and his siblings are the same way but him and his youngest sister are the only ones who just don't keep in touch with people.She was married three times and I understand why.If I knew he was like this when we were friends then I would've let him stay a friend.I knew him for six months before we started dating and we hung out at least three times a week and FaceTimed every day for hours.No red flags.It just shows how some people show certain sides of them when they're ready.His family was surprised I gave him a chance.I was like...why do they keep saying this?I see why now and he was married twice before.I see why him and his siblings marriages didn't work because basic shit they can't do because they don't want to.My parents told me to let him stay where he is and I will.While he's been ignoring me,someone else who's been interested in me has been calling and checking in.I told her all about the situation and how I'm going to be ending this chapter soon.I don't want to be drained especially since I am an amazing person and a good catch with no baggage.He's the one with all the issues and I have tried to help over and over and over again.He is 42.A lot older than me.If he wanted help he would get it and like he told me on Tuesday,he's never going back to a therapist.I give up,Tae.It's not a good feeling trying to figure out where you stand with someone who claims to love you and will do anything for you but won't even see if you're okay but expect you to go to hell and back for them.Fuck that.It's exhausting and we're grown. People know exactly what they be doing especially when you keep bringing it up.

Hwow.

You're def on the right track anon. I mean, these are some complicated issues that dont sound like they'll resolve anytime soon.

How... did he get back in the door? Like-- his family was always saying how surprised they were yall were dating, him being a hermit... respectfully: those are red flags.

Cause tbh it seem like u was back fuckin w him just for the conversation. But I'm glad you've found your way out. That "never going back to therapy" thing is an instant - n o - for me.

I hope this next chapter of your life serves you well! ✨😌🙏🏽

[enchantechante]

My bf is very introverted.I think that's the word.He isn't a big phone person so every time we do talk on the phone he just rambles.For example,we were on the phone for three hours yesterday.All he talked about was work,his friends back home and the weird shit they once did and wrestling and comic books.He let me talk for a bit then he ate and went to bed for work.He was like I'm doing pretty good with having phone conversations and I'm like no you are not lol. He didn't ask how I'm doing or anything close to it and he was like... I thought you were doing fine because if you weren't you would've told me soon as I got on the phone.He was right but omg.He is 42 and very socially awkward on the phone but in person he does a lot better.I think I need to work with him when it comes to that but how? I don't want to be a asshole because he thinks I judge him at times since we were raised very different.Him,his friends and family are like those people from Jackass always goofing off and pranking,cursing etc while my family is more modest and traditional.We don't do all of that stuff.I did tell him he needs to chill when he's around my family with that so he doesn't talk shit and act crazy.I'm also black and he's white so my family not too happy with him being white.They don't disrespect him they just want me to bring home a nice,modest,black guy around my age.

Aww!! 🥰🥺 You betta guiiiiide yo lil introvert 😌

Sounds like he's doing the work you're just want a bit more - be clear. 😌 Have you tried compliment sandwich?

Compliment sandwiches are 2 positives, 1 suggestion, and 1 pos comment. It can sound like, “Yeah it’s definitely improving. I love how natural you let things flow. Next time I would like some time to dig into one topic we're familiar with. It helps me get to know you better."

Instead of, "Meh- you're not really improving." Sometimes men need to know their role in making it better. Ya gotta break it down. Wishing yall great success!

(PS - Your parents can get over it. Yall like each other & im sure they dont want you sneaking around w a yt guy they dont know/never see ����)

[enchantechante]

Anon you said your boyfriend is mentally unstable.There goes one of your answers right there.He's probably not in the right mental state even when he's putting on a happy face for others.Dealing with someone who has a mental illness can be rough and take a lot out of you.Sounds like he needs to be single because his behavior is very confusing.One minute he wants you and is making you feel you're the only who matters then the next he seems cold and distant.I was with someone who had mentally unstable for three years.I felt like I was the problem until he let me know that I wasn't and sometimes he doesn't know what to say to me or how to be.I broke up with him and I'm not with an awesome person who's great for my mental health.My ex is still single and still struggles with his mental illness but he's still one of my close friends.Other than his illness messing with him daily,he never treated me bad or disrespected me.I noticed mental illnesses run in his family as well.We will always be friends and I'll be there for him as much as I can.I just couldn't do that as a partner.I needed to step back and take my feelings out of the situation to see who he really is and bring mentally unstable is something I just couldn't deal with everyday.

mmm!

honestly once you realize anyone in your life needs professional help, the time until they get it is going to be suuuuuper difficult. suicidal ideation/attempts def fall in that category.

and we can lead the horse to water but--you know the rest.

like how u supposed to grow with someone hell-bent on self destructing? 🤔