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intomymindspace · 3 years

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Video Games ✰ Tendou Satori

Video Games covered by The Young Professionals

tendou satori x gn reader

Through the Summer and the Fall // Haikyuu!! Songfic Series

a/n: hi everyone, I'm sorry for a posting a week late! I’ve been really unmotivated as of late for personal stuff but also because I'm lowkey still a little bummed that my Bokuto fic (definitely totally am not plugging it rn - totally do not click the link, ahaha 🥺) didn’t do as well as I hoped it would. But no matter! Here is the Tendou insert, as promised! It’s not the best, and I definitely have a bit of writers block and am behind schedule. I wish I could write his character and for him better considering how much I love him. Next will up be flattykawa 😌 and I will be posting it hopefully soon to help make up for last week’s missed post. I've also changed up this blog and have given it hopefully a better look - there is a new theme on desktop!

Warnings: part 3 spoilers for jojo’s bizarre adventure that include character death, my bb tori being insecure about him and his body but I love him and his flat a$$ so much, and as always, we clown on flattykawa in this household but all in good favor

It was a rainy day, and Tendou was quiet and content as he sat on your bed, reading the new Weekly Shonen Jump magazine that he had just been mailed. He had let Ushijima read it earlier - but as always, he only read the advertisements. You sat beside him on the floor, his long legs dangled off the edge of your bed, his foot brushing your arm every now and then. You were playing the new otome game you had bought a week ago on your console. On days like this, the two of you often fell into comfortable silences when hanging out with each other - and today was no different. There was nothing to do other than school work and go to practice - but even then, it wasn’t necessary for the third years to attend anymore. Not since they lost in the finals against Karasuno.

He was pulled away from the panel he was reading when he heard you gasp - his crimson eyes flitting to your monitor to see what had happened.

“What happened?” You turned around to look up at him, an excited look on your face.

“Murasame Jinnosuke confessed his love for me! I didn’t expect it to happen so fast into the game.” He looked back at the screen to see a handsome samurai on your screen. Snickering, Tendou ruffled your hair.

“Good job, now just see if you can get a real guy to confess his undying love for you.” Squinting at him, you slapped his leg playfully.

“You’re supposed to be nice to me, Tori-kun.”

“When am I not?”

Ever since you had taken the place of Shiratorizawa’s volleyball club manager two years ago as a first year, you quickly bonded with the strange amalgamation of players. It had been a running gag between the third year players to find out what type of guys you liked. You could always be found on your phone during breaks playing otome games - and that was the beginning of the years of playful torment from your fellow classmates.

It wasn’t that you weren’t attractive or that you didn’t gain attention - every Valentines Day you always received several confessions and chocolates, but you always rejected them as kindly as possible. For someone who played as many otome games as you did, they were surprised to say the least when you had always declined the advances of many classmates, saying that they just weren’t your type with a kind smile on your face.

It was Tendou’s turn to squint as he turned his attention back to your screen as you continued to play through the game. He scoffed at some of the things the fictional samurai said to you - what was so special about him anyways?

This is my idea of fun

Playing video games

Tendou shut his manga volume, and he noticed your curious eyes looking at the cover. Smirking playfully at you, he poked your forehead.

“Suddenly interested in pirates?” You sat back, rolling your eyes.

“Maybe. Who’s the character on the front?” He stared down at the covered, humming.

“Shanks. Say, I never thought you were one to go for a tough-looking guy.” He held a mischievous grin on his lips.

“Ha! Sure. Keep thinking that, Tendou.” He feigned a gasp.

“You used my last name too? With no honorific? No nickname? The rudeness! I’m so hurt!” You couldn’t help but egg your friend along.

“Hmm, maybe I should start watching One Piece if he’s in it…” But before Tendou could clap back, Yamagata slid into the seat next to you, a teasing smile on his lips.

“Ah, so that’s your type, huh? Tough-looking guys with scars?” You rolled your eyes at the libero. “I’m pretty tough too, aren’t I?”

“As if.” But it didn’t stop them from the teasing.

So what if you maybe did prefer more muscular guys? Tendou didn’t understand why the thought hurt his feelings so much. He may not have the bulging muscles, but he was just as strong. He sighed to himself, watching you from across the table as you shoved Yamagata playfully. Why would you want to like someone like himself anyways?

It's you, it's you, it's all for you

Everything I do

Tendou entered your dorm room unannounced as he always did - but this time he was surprised to see you in tears as you huddled in your blanket, staring at the tv. The first thing you usually did was banter with him about his bad habit of not knocking, but all he could do is stand shocked in your doorway.

Instantly, his gleeful eyes turned blood red. Shutting your door behind him, he quickly made his way over to you, his eyebrows furrowed, a scowl on his lips.

“Who do I have to beat up?” A million thoughts were running through his head - were you made fun of? Did someone reject you? Did you receive a bad score on an exam? He wrapped his arms around you the second your tear-filled eyes looked up at him.

“Who did it? Who hurt your feelings?” His genuine care and questions only made you cry harder into his chest.

“Dio.” You said, but it was too muffled for him to hear. Pulling back, he gave you a quizzical look. You pointed at the scene that was unfolding on your tv.

“Dio killed Kakyoin.” Tendou immediately smacked a hand to his face. His eyes flickered to the screen to see a tall, muscular character slumped against a water tower, a hole in his torso with text on the screen saying “Kakyoin Noriaki has died.” He couldn't help but laugh.

“You want me to beat up the mighty and powerful vampire lord and stand user, Dio Brando? For killing the guy who licks cherries weird?”

Slapping his arm, you pouted at him through your ugly tears. “Don’t make fun of me! I really liked him.” Tendou kept on snickering as he rubbed your back.

“I know, I’m sorry. But it’s just too funny to just not tease you.”

As ridiculous as it sounded, Tendou wondered if you would ever cry for him the way you cried for Kakyoin. He smiled to himself as he stared down at your face that was still buried in his chest - he hoped you wouldn’t notice how fast his heart was beating at the notion of you coming to him for comfort.

Maybe your type was animated men.

I tell you all the time

Heaven is a place on earth with you

Tendou put his jump comic down and just watched your gameplay - he was too distracted by his thoughts of you to focus on the new chapter of My Hero Academia.

He couldn’t help but pine over you. You had been so open and kind to him from the first time you met him - he remembered that day with ease. You had looked so confident walking into the volleyball gym, introducing yourself to the players as their new manager.

He was genuinely surprised that you weren’t turned away by his quirks - and he was thankful that above all, you treated him just like you treated everyone else.

It seemed so easy for you to become friends with the other first years at the time. You found commonalities with each of them, and you even managed to break Ushijima out of his shell by the time you all first went to nationals. Tendou remembered the hours upon hours that the two of you spent together - whether it was hanging out in the dorm watching animes, giving him tips and encouragement on the court during timeouts, or quality conversations on long bus rides to and from games. If you had never joined as manager, Tendou would’ve never guessed that the two of you would become as close friends as you were now. And he had always been a good guesser.

As he stared at you, controller in your hand, he remembered why he realized he liked you so much - it wasn’t because you shared a strong love for manga and anime. Okay, well, maybe it was, but it wasn’t the commonality. It was because you understood and even empathized with escaping through these fictional stories.

He knew what it was like to want to escape - to want to find paradise away from everyday life. On the court, Tendou could sneak into the small slice of heaven that he visited when he played volleyball. Off the court, he wanted nothing more than to have you safe in his arms as the two of you escaped into the world of whatever show you had chosen to binge that day.

To him, you were just as heavenly as the defeated looks on his opponents’ faces that he craved to see - maybe even more.

Tell me all the things you want to do

I heard that you like the bad girls, honey, is that true?

You squealed excitedly as you waved the game in front of Semi’s face after practice had ended.

“Semi-semi! Look what just came in the mail!” He pushed your hand out of his face, scoffing.

“I can’t see it if you’re rubbing in my face like that, idiot.” The setter had a smile on his face nonetheless, making you laugh as he took a look at the game. His eyes widened.

“No way, Castlevania Judgement?!?!” You nodded proudly, smiling at Tendou and Ushijima as they walked over to see what the commotion was about. The middle blocker gawked at the game you held in your hands - the third years had been talking about the release of it for at least a few months now.

“You jealous? If you want, we can play after dinner.” Semi quickly nodded, and you looked at Tendou and Ushijima for their answers.

“What, when have I ever said no to wanting to play video games with you?” To his reply, the captain simply nodded.

“Thank you for your invite. I am happy to attend as well.”

Tendou and Ushijima sat on the edge of your bed as you and Semi sat in front of your tv, switching the controller after every chapter of the game. Ushijima had no interest in actually playing the game - and Tendou knew he would get a chance to play with you later. Semi was more excited for the game than he was anyways.

You couldn’t contain your excitement as you gushed over one of the main characters, Simon Belmont. From the looks of it, he was a powerful fighter - and Tendou sighed once again - he was super muscular and tough-looking too. You were too invested in the gameplay with Semi, that you weren’t paying attention to the conversation Tendou sparked with Ushijima.

“I don’t get what’s so special about him anyways.” The redhead had a pout on his face, his arms crossed. Ushijima was very aware of the middle blocker’s crush on you - his friend often coming to the captain for his advice. While Ushijima had almost no experience and knowledge at all in terms of dating, he was always observant of the people around him, and was very blunt.

“Tendou-kun, if you like them so much, it would just be better to ask. It is pointless to be jealous over every fictional character they like.” He couldn’t help but gawk at the monotonous tone and the serious look on his captain’s face.

“I’ll raise you a better one. It’s pointless to ask because their standards seem to be so high anyways.” Ushijima couldn’t help but stare at his friend.

“And why should that stop you? They’re not real.” Tendou sighed, exacerbated.

“I get it, I get it! I know they’re not just going to pop out from the screen or anything.”

“But?”

“But that doesn’t mean those aren’t their same standards to people they prefer in real life,” Tendou admitted, and Ushijima knew he hit the reason why. Tendou may be tall, but he was lean and lanky. The muscle he had was nowhere near that of any of the fictional guys you crushed on. What could you possibly want from someone way weaker - someone like him?

“They are not the type of person to go completely for the way someone’s body appears. If that were the case, they should’ve confessed their attraction to either myself or Yamagata by now, based on your logic. Besides, they told me they liked you.” Tendou couldn't help but roll his eyes, placing a hand over his heart.

“Wakatoshi-kun, you wound me. Of course they like me - they wouldn’t be my friend if they didn’t. Couldn't you at least sugar coat your advice sometimes?”

It's better than I ever even knew

They say that the world was built for two

Before the prefectural qualifiers in the fall, Shiratorizawa managed to snag a practice match with none other than Aoba Johsai. While there was clear tension throughout the entire time, the teams kept interactions outside the court lines as light-hearted as possible. Seijoh managed to snag victory during the first match, but Shiratorizawa hit back just as hard, winning the second match.

The boys were currently loading their bags into the bus as you supervised them, reminding them to triple check that they had everything. You were almost caught by surprise when a volleyball rolled towards you, hitting the back of your foot gently.

“Sumimasen.” You heard from several meters behind you, making you turn around. It was the Great King himself, Oikawa Tooru, that was slowly jogging towards you - it almost seemed like he was doing it in slow motion. Your fellow teammates heard the setter, their eyes sneakily following him as he got closer to you. They couldn't help but snicker at their so-called sworn enemy - it was obvious by the way that his aura sparkled around him and the smoulder on his face that he had rolled the ball your way to get your attention.

“I’m so sorry, could you get that for me?” You nodded, a polite smile on your face. The great Oikawa was definitely handsome, to say the least - and Tendou couldn't help the childish frown that filled his features. As you picked up the ball and handed it back to the setter, he flashed you a heart-stopping, pearly white smile.

“Thank you,” he said, taking the ball from you, brushing your fingers in the process. “You are the manager for Shiratorizawa, right? I didn’t catch your name earlier.” Oikawa ran a hand through his silky hair as you gave him your name.

“Wow,” he flashed you another smile, “such a beautiful name for someone just as gorgeous.” Semi couldn’t help but let a snort out at Oikawa’s compliment.

“Thank you.” You took the complement in stride, deciding it would be nice to say something back. “You played great today, Oikawa-san.” He laughed jovially.

“Thank you, you’re very kind. And cute. Would you be interested in catching boba with me sometime? I know a cute place that has good milk tea and milk bread.” Tendou rolled his eyes at Oikawa’s words. It probably was his plan all along - to try to bewitch the manager of Shiratorizawa. When Tendou saw a smile grow on your face, he couldn’t help but feel defeated. Were you actually going to say yes to him?

“I’m very flattered Oikawa-san. But I’m sorry, I must decline your offer.” Oikawa’s eyes widened in surprise. The Great King? Being rejected? “You’re not really my type.” You turned around, making your way onto the bus, leaving Oikawa with his jaw on the ground, the ace on Seijoh’s team as well as your teammates laughing their asses off at the scene that had just unfolded in front of their very eyes.

“That’s what you get, Crappykawa! You should’ve gone to Shiratorizawa!”

“Iwa-chan, that's not funny! I feel like my heart has been broken into thousands of pieces!”

“Well, if they’re gonna hit it, they better hit it til it breaks!”

“Pfft, I’m actually not surprised they didn’t say yes to him.” Semi commented, placing his duffle bag into the storage compartment. Tendou’s head quirked at the statement.

“Why’s that?” Reon asked, storing his things as well, making Semi and Yamagata snicker.

“Did you see how flat his ass was? I’m 100% sure their type is thicker guys. Like their ace, or something.” The three of them burst into laughter, Tendou only slightly laughing along as well. Ushijima only grunted in disagreement as he shut the compartment’s door.

“I believe their type is actually redheads.” All of the third years looked at their captain with wide eyes and dead silence - before laughing even harder. Semi slapped Ushijima’s bicep lightly, bending over. Tendou’s eyes widened - Ushijima was not the type to joke around, right?

“I didn’t think you actually knew how to crack jokes, Ushijima-kun!” The olive-haired man only looked down at his fellow third years in confusion.

“I am not joking. I simply just decided to ask them earlier, and I am only relaying the answer they gave me.” They couldn’t help but bend over, Yamagata even wiping tears from all the laughing.

“Stop! Your bluntness is only making it worse!” By the way the rest of his teammates reacted, Tendou believed Ushijima really must have been joking - in his own way. He had just picked a hair color different from Oikawa’s, right?

“Good one, Wakatoshi-kun.” Tendou let out a chuckle, giving his friend a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Only worth living if somebody is loving you

And baby, now you do

Tendou’s eyes widened as he relieved all the memories. Was Ushijima actually serious? He had never asked his friend about it - but perhaps it was because he was too scared to actually know the truth. Quickly, Tendou pulled out his phone and googled each of the characters - Shanks, Kakyoin, and Simon. The samurai was still on your screen, and he flipped through the tabs on his internet browser, trying to find the similarities.

Obviously, they were all built rather strong - but Tendou couldn’t get what Ushijima said out of his head. They were all redheads, after all. Why hadn’t he noticed this before? He looked back at you, your attention still on the otome game. Should he ask you? Would it be weird? Tendou thought about texting Ushijima, but he quickly decided not to. He already knew what his friend would say. Right after he called your name gently, you set down the controller and turned to look up at him.

“What’s up, Tori-kun?” He had never felt this nervous before - it wasn’t even like he was going to confess to you or anything either.

“Uh - what’s your type? Like, in guys? I promise I won’t tease you this time, I just want to know.” Surprisingly, you smirked at him. What were you thinking?

“You gonna brag to Eita and Yato that you finally found out after all these years?” The apparent blush on Tendou’s cheeks only spread further.

“What? No, I wouldn’t do that… Unless I had to,” he said, trying his best to come off as his usual teasing self. This only made you snicker at him.

“I’m surprised you guys haven’t beat it out of Toshi-kun yet. I already told him a few months ago.” Tendou’s eyes widened at what you said.

“Huh?” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Yeah.” He couldn’t believe how casual you were about it. You were always so hellbent on keeping it from them - but perhaps it was because they made such a big deal out of it in the first place. Tendou didn’t exactly know how to respond to you - he was still trying to process the realization. So he had guessed wrong this whole time?

After sitting in silence for a couple of seconds, you gave him a playful smile. “Redheads,” you said, turning around and picking up your controller. Ushijima’s words echoed with yours in his brain.

Besides, they told me they liked you. Tendou let out a choked noise.

“I’ve made a mistake!”

You burst out laughing at Tendou’s exclamation. Setting your controller down once more, you stood up and turned, leaning your elbows against your bed. “You guys really are that oblivious, huh? Even Toshi-kun saw that I liked you. He went so far as to ask me about it too.” You propped up your head with your hand, staring at him. Getting past his initial shock, Tendou settled back down.

“How shallow of you,” he teased, leaning his head closer to yours. “I can’t believe the only reason why you like me is because my hair is red, yanno?” In return, you inched your face up closer to his as if you were challenging him.

“I know,” you said smugly, your eyes flickering down to his lips, “I’m such an awful friend. I’ll only break your heart once I replace you with another redhead.” He smirked as he noticed where your eyes had glanced. Tendou may have been oblivious, but he wasn’t called the Guess Monster for nothing.

“I’m guessing that you want to kiss me right now, hmm?” He asked quietly, dangerously moving closer to you - your faces now only mere inches apart. A blush crept onto both of your cheeks. You answered back, your voice nearly a whisper.

“Why don’t you find out for yourself, Guess Monster?”

Immediately, Tendou closed the distance between the two of you. Your lips were warm and soft, making him wish he had at least put on chapstick earlier. His heart was beating so hard inside of his chest that he was afraid you’d hear it, but you said nothing as the two of you pulled away. Saying nothing, he only smiled as he traced his fingers up your neck, cupping your jaw. Pulling you into a deeper kiss, he sighed contentedly as he felt your hands trail up his torso.

Kissing you felt like paradise.

As always, thank you so much for reading!! please like, reblog, and follow 🥺

~ Crystal

through the summer and the fall masterlist

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BONUS

The following day, Tendou met you at your door to walk with you to lunch. With your hand in his, the two of you took your sweet time making your way to the cafeteria to meet up with the other third years. Today, Coach Washijo had asked for them to play a practice match against the Miyagi first years he was holding a training camp for. You decided to tag along since you had nothing planned to do for the weekend.

As you talked about a weird dream you had, Tendou couldn’t help but gaze adoringly at you - he couldn’t believe that you liked him, or that you were actually dating him now even if it had only been about twelve hours. The two of you waited in the lunch line, his chin resting on top of your head as he held both of your hands from behind you - it felt so natural to touch you. He could tell that people were staring - but none of it mattered when all he needed was the sound of your excited voice and the blatant look of love in your eyes.

Stepping away from your back slightly, he moved forward to gently place a kiss on your cheek - and that's when he heard the yells. The both of you turned to find your fellow third and second years staring at the two of you with wide eyes and mouths catching flies. Goshiki accompanied the team as well, his face beat red. Ushijima was behind the flustered first year, a rare half-smile on his face.

“Afternoon guys!” You had said it so casually as you leaned back into Tendou’s arms, allowing him to place a cheeky kiss on your temple - making Semi gag and Yamagata nearly tear up.

“I did tell you all that they preferred redheads.”

#tendou x reader #Tendou Satori x reader #tendou imagine #Tendou Satori imagine #tendou reader insert #Tendou Satori reader insert #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #through the summer and the fall #intomymindspace #tendo x reader #tendo satori x reader

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 3 years

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The Spirit of Christmas

Did someone order a Christmas fic? Oneshot. Erik is being hassled by his annoying neighbor.

Erik's eyes drooped as he looked down on the overgrown child standing before him, short, bundled up, and grinning in a hideous bulky sweater that Christmas threw up. Gold bells dangled from her sleeves. There were multicolored puff balls. His four-year-old play niece couldn't even make anything that ugly. Wasn't she embarrassed? No, she'd have to be somewhat aware for that to kick in.

From the moment she knocked on his door back in April with that same unsettling grin and an offering of rabbit-shaped cookies to let him know she was his new neighbor, he knew there was something wrong with her mentally, he just didn't know what. Needless to say the cookies went in the trash and from then, he'd made it a point to avoid her. He'd tried! On God he had, but as hard as he tried was as strong as she would not let that happen.

What went through that happy little empty head of hers? Did it sound like air blowing through or were there little dancing elves singing all day like Smurfs? As she beamed up at him, he didn't like the hope in her eyes. She was gonna ask for something and it was never anything simple like sugar or flour.

"Merry Christmas neighbor!" Her large dimples sank in. She looked sneaky.

He threw the door shut, but stopped when he heard a loud squeak. Her hand was in the crack blocking the door from closing in her face. That had to have hurt. Opening the door, he started to ask if she was okay but she spoke first, rubbing her hand with a slight wince.

"I've been watching you."

His eyebrows went down knitting together.

"I've seen a lot.. Things you don't think I've seen," she bragged with a smug cross of her jingling arms. Erik stiffened thinking of the bands of cash sitting out on his coffee table.. drugs in a duffel on the floor. His eyes narrowed.

"Oh?" His eyes flickered to the neighboring apartment doors as he wondered who else was watching. "What you see?"

She pushed her index into his chest. "You haven't had visitors since I moved in! No friends.. no family!"

Erik exhaled his relief. "I'm not a people-person."

"If you're a people, you're a person. That makes you a people person," she chirped. Again she made no sense. Erik took a long blink closing the door more carefully this time. "Wait," her hand jetted out again. It was the other hand now blocking the door from shutting.

"What do you want, Jessica," Erik waved impatiently leaning with his elbow on the door frame.. partially to support his resting weight and partially to keep her out. She liked to be nosey looking into his apartment past his body, craning her neck to get into his business.

"I'm doing Christmas in Pittsburgh with the fam, come with me."

He almost spit.

"No."

She blocked the door again and he rolled his eyes putting his head briefly on the door.

"Jessica, I'm tryna be nice 'cause I don't know quite what's wrong with you... but you pushing it."

"It's Christmas spirit! Oh Erik, can't you feel it? It's all around us! 🎵 Christmas is the time of year for being with the one's we love. Sharing so much joy and cheer," she sang. "What a wonderful fe'-"

"PLEASE..."

She froze.

"Don't sing..," he whispered. "Look I have plans. Thanks for the invite but I can't make it."

"Hm." Her finger pointed hard and accusingly. "Erik Stevens you're lying to me! You spend every holiday here in this apartment. I know!" Looking around first, she leaned forward. "I check..."

"With who?"

"This won't do! You gotta get into the festivities, it's Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year!"

"Busy."

"But-"

That was all she got out before the door closed in her face. Erik didn't like holidays. To him, they were regular days but worse because everyone seemed so damn happy as if reality had somehow slipped away. He couldn't just forget real life so easily, he wasn't built that way. Finishing his count, he stored his cash and started on dinner.

"A man fires a rifle for many years and he goes to war. He comes home and he sees that whatever else he may do with his life like build a house, love a woman, change his son's diaper but he will always remain a jarhead," Swoff said onscreen as Erik shoveled a forkful of cheesy pasta into his mouth. This was reality. War, death, power struggle, and debauchery.

A series of knocks on his door had Erik rolling his eyes again. He ignored it until he realized she wasn't leaving then he paused the movie.

"What," he yelled swinging his door open to that same annoying grin.

"Erik, don't close the door! Please, come with me it'll be so much fun. It's twenty minutes away!"

"NO."

"You'll get a present!"

"Nuh-what kinda present? Not one of those ugly ass sweaters I hope."

"Oh this," she chuckled pulling on a bell. "My mom sewed it.. One night and I won't bother you ever again... until New Year's."

"Bye," the door closed.

"Okay okay!" She blocked it. "You won't hear a peep from me until Memorial Day, thank you for your service!"

"My what?"

"I accidentally got your mail one day, you had a VA appointment."

Erik could feel the intense irritation palpable and radiating on his skin.

"I swear, you won't see or hear me just one night of fun," she beamed, blinking quickly with praying hands. Erik sighed looking back at his leftovers to put away.

"Do you promise?... You won't look at me, talk to me, bother me if I go with you this one night?"

---

The ride took twenty-five minutes, five minutes longer than she'd said and she'd sang the entire ride. He was Christmas'd out already. Then he saw the house surrounded in snow.

It was a humble cream colored house with white around the windows and a red door decorated with a wreath. Multicolored lights lined the roof and an inflatable snowman stood guarding the bushes out front. Jessica giddily bounced behind the wheel turning off the car including the heat and Erik was forced to follow her into the residence. The door wasn't locked. They were greeted with heat, strings of Christmas lights, a tall tree decked in pricey looking ornaments, and the sound of old music. Erik knew the song by Bing Crosby.. but he didn't like it.

"Mommy! Daddy! I'm home!"

"My baaby," a woman's voice came, chased by an older woman with neatly arranged grey twists pinned by a mistletoe hair clip. She was definitely a Claire Huxtable type in a white silk blouse, red lipstick, pearls, a red skirt, and low heels. Why wasn't she as tacky as her daughter? Hadn't she made that hideous sweater? She hung onto Jessica, smiling and swaying her back and forth in her arms as if she hadn't seen her in a while.. and then she noticed Erik and straightened. "Ooh. Where are my manners," she smiled looking between him and her daughter as if she were missing something she'd ask Jessica about later in private. Erik felt only mildly uncomfortable. "I'm Ernestine... you are?"

"Mom, this is my neighbor, Erik. I told you he was cute! Ain't he HOT!"

Ernestine's brow raised at her daughter and Erik wondered if something really was wrong with Jessica.

"He has dimples like me! He-"

"Okay dear, that's nice. Erik could I speak to you for a moment?" Ernestine smiled gently but he could read it. She had something serious to say. Following her into the kitchen where casserole dishes and pots and pans of food sat, he could smell cooking like he hadn't smelled in a couple of months. She cooked like his late grandmother and it made him salivate. Greens, shrimp, chicken, ham, mac and cheese, yams, potato salad. He could almost taste it.

"Sorry I'm not really dressed," he offered with Ernestine waving him off.

"Not at all.. Erik..," she paused choosing her words carefully. "What.. exactly.. do you.. know.. about my daughter?"

Erik felt her meaning between the words. "Not much," he admitted. "We're just neighbors. Is she..." He didn't know how to ask it.

"She's eccentric" was the answer. "A little.. different than most."

Erik swallowed his response.

"I know," Ernestine nodded seemingly reading his mind. She must've been used to it. "But I look at it this way.. It's rare that such a beautiful spirit is born into this world, since she was a baby that's never changed. She's our angel.. Please, I know it's not your responsibility but.. look out for her. Will you?"

"Sugarplum," a booming voice yelled from the living room taking the attention. When Erik looked back to Ernestine she smiled and he followed her from the kitchen to see a heavyset older black man shaking Jessica in his arms as she grinned.

"Me next," a younger guy said. From the context, Erik could see it was father and brother. Donald and Joshua who was probably in his early twenties. They both nodded to him as he smiled politely, hands clasped in front of himself. "What you been up to sis? Staying outta trouble I hope."

She shared a few tales from her job. He didn't know she was a dentist, it shocked him completely. Was she really smart enough? Apparently so.

"And I told Mr. MacDougall the SNUGGLE is real," she snickered tickled rosy by her own joke to her patient. She laughed from her nose, forever on the verge of snorting while her family looked at her like she was the baby Jesus. They really did adore her. "But wait! There's MYRRH!!!" Tears leaked from her eyes from laughing and Erik found himself smiling to blend in.

"Oh phooey, Erik, don't be a phoney," Jessica wiped her eye, still shuddering in her laughter. She threw a white pillow from the leather couch at him and he caught it feeling suddenly awkward. "You never laugh at my puns! That's what makes it's so funny," she gasped in stitches. "Mr. MacDougall didn't laugh either. He just stared like he was so confuuused," she wheezed, her nostrils flaring like headlights. It broke her brother who snorted. "I swear I love your faces!"

"Hey hey!" A voice came from the front door as a woman with a brown fur vest scooted inside to the living room with matching brown boots followed by a small group of happy people carrying gifts. They kissed the rest of the family, laughing and talking about everything from rowdy kids to the snow. They seemed like a normal family, everyone but Jessica. She jumped up quickly to take the gifts adding them under the bigass fir tree and Erik wondered what type of gifts they gave and how he'd get one.

Jessica hugged every single person in that group as well as the next. The house was full and loud with laughter, stories, and the sound of kids running back and forth.

"SIT YA ASS DOWN," he heard an auntie growl at a kid only a little older than his play niece. The kid looked at her, sitting immediately.. reminding him of his childhood with his family. "Excuse me," the woman waved apologetically when she made eye contact, but it made Erik feel comfortable. He smiled.

When the family played charades, he sat quietly and hoped they wouldn't call him up and he was lucky because they were too busy competing for a turn, each person imitating a family member and getting roars of laughter followed by an "I am not like that" or an "AND?!" The reactions tickled Erik more than anything. He tried to watch each family member from then to see if the impressions were accurate and he laughed to himself on the ones he could personally confirm.

"Hey Erik," one of the men called from around the kitchen table. The seats were full all around with additional folding chairs pulled up. "Prettyboy like you know how to play spades?"

Erik's brows rose and he blew out a breath. "Old man.. you sure you in the mood to lose?" The man's face dropped and instantly Erik felt his foot in his mouth. He'd gone too far.

"..I think you got a challenge, Lem," the man beside him on his right smirked, coughing to hide his laugh. Lem cut the cards after the man to his left shuffled.

"I'll ask you the same question when you're digging this old foot out ya ass," Lem chuckled and another man stood to let Erik sit. Erik played four successful games before Jessica appeared over his shoulder whispering loudly in his ear. He controlled his shudder feeling the air on his face.

"Christmas scavenger hunt," she said pulling him from the chair. "My neighbor," she explained to the table, hugging him proudly. "Okay, let's go!"

The outdoor scavenger hunt happened in the backyard in the dark. Erik didn't understand why his wrist had to be tied to Jessica's. It wasn't like any scavenger hunt he'd done, not that he'd done one since he was eight and that was for Easter.

"Follow me," Jessica pulled as if he had a choice. She fell almost instantly. "Owww, I bongo'd my booty," she pouted seriously, rubbing her butt.

"..Now I gotta get outta here," he muttered.

"Huh?"

"I said did you see that reindeer."

"What reindeer?" She looked puzzled but forgot it fast.

She pawed through trees and got down on her knees in the snowy grass to feel around which was more than anyone else was doing. They were mostly talking and enjoying the view of the bright sky. It was a beautiful night. The more Jessica searched through the snow, Erik began to think of her hands. She wasn't wearing gloves. Her hands had to be freezing. He looked around at the guests standing around casually.

"Jessica.. I don't think you'll find anything under the snow let's look somewhere else."

"I'm like a bloodhound for this, I can smell it!" She continued to shift snow, digging on her knees shifting around the ground and Erik's mind went to Ms. Ernestine.

"Jessica.. stand up," he whispered through his teeth tugging her up with a quick yank of his wrist. "It's too cold for you to be digging through snow with your bare h-" There was a plastic ornament in her palm, a proud grin on her face.

"I knew it," she leaned in with a conspiratorial smile. "Joshua planted it and he's not that creative," she whispered giddily. "He must have done it before the snow... WE FOUND IT! WE FOUND THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS! WE WIN! YES!! TAKE THAT LOOOOSERRS!!"

As the round of applause and some disappointed groans followed, Erik felt awkward standing with her as she gloated in her ridiculous victory dance but he couldn't negate that... she was right. Once untied, he stood next to her as she turned in the ornament to Ms. Ernestine exchanging it for two small red gift boxes. Handing Erik one, she beamed at him and the small crowd.

"Same time."

He nodded and at the same time they opened the boxes.

"Socks!!! Oh my God I love fuzzy socks," she spazzed bending backward to cheer at the sky. When Erik looked in his box, he looked up at the crowd and Ms. Ernestine. Was it really cool to accept this? Should he give it to Jessica? "What did you get," Jessica asked. He showed her. "Eh.. it's nice but I like mine better," she winked. It was a $100 bill. She could've had tons of socks. He sat down their boxes and felt her hands, they were still cold.

"Let's go inside and warm up," he nodded toward the house glad when Ms. Ernestine agreed, announcing that it was definitely time to eat. She said the prayer as people held hands and Erik couldn't remember the last time anyone around him had held hands to pray. "Let me get that for you. You want a lil everything?" He stepped in to fix an older lady's plate so she wouldn't lose her seat or wait in line. That led to him fixing three different plates for people but Jessica was right there with him, smiling the whole time. "Have a seat," he told her, doubling down when she politely declined. "You've done enough, enjoy your family."

Confused, she did what he suggested and he brought her food and drink to her in the living room before finding a nearby seat. She was just as quirky as ever, saying things that made no sense, but Erik was too into the food to care. He ate three plates and drank two eggnogs.

Right when he thought he'd go into a food coma, he heard his name.

"Erik," a gruff voice called from the dining room. It was her dad waving him over where most of the men were. "Hey, do me a favor and go upstairs to the room on the right and grab that jar from the top shelf of my closet.

Erik looked around briefly with slightly widened eyes for Joshua but didn't see him.

"You want me to..," he questioned.

"Yeah, son, go get it and bring it here. Thanks."

Son, Erik thought as he went up the stairs. The man barely knew him yet called him son. This family was something else and it wasn't something he was used to.

In the closet was a glass mason jar full of pocket change and dollars of varying values. There were 50s in there. The fact that he was trusted to retrieve it spoke volumes. He carried it down the stairs carefully fulfilling his mission to get it back to Mr. Donald who thanked him asking no questions.

"And the jar this Christmas... goes to.. drumroll," he commanded getting a loud drum of hands on laps, tables, and walls. "DREW!"

"YES," a teenage boy shouted hurriedly finding his way forward to pose beside Mr. Donald with the jar. His grin full of braces was as big as Jessica's in that moment and when Erik glanced at Jessica, she waved. He nodded back with a small smile. She was beginning to grow on him... just a little.

When the house erupted in carols, he didn't feel pressured to sing. He sat and listened, smiling at the little kids who sang the loudest with the drunk uncle leading in an offbeat baritone. It was a warm feeling he'd forgotten.

And then they exchanged gifts with some people opening there's on the spot and some people taking theirs to go along with several plates of food.

"Erik," Jessica smiled bouncing happily in front of him like she had the best news. She put a red and green gift box in his hands. The dog design was tacky, but he could look past that now. "Open it now," she rushed and when he did, he was taken aback.. again. "I made this on the off chance that you'd say yes and come home for the holidays with me."

His fingers rolled over his face pasted on top of a photoshopped body added to her family's group photo and it was the most bizarre and lowkey creepy gift he'd ever gotten.. but in that way, it was also perfect which hit different. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't stop looking at it.

"Ew... Don't get all soft on me now Stevens," she blurted rolling her eyes with genuine disgust. What kind of response did she expect? He laughed thinking about it.

"Come here," he grabbed her into a hug she fought to get out of.

"Ew ew ew, feelings!"

It only made him laugh and hold tighter.

---

The ride back to the apartment was more chill. Quiet except for the old music that Jessica sang along to, this time under her breath. When they reached the building, there was a relaxed peace as they went up in the elevator together.

"I owe you a Christmas present," Erik said at the door glancing over as Jessica opened the door to her apartment.

"You do, I gave you a good one."

He blew a small laugh through his nostrils. "Yes. Yes, you did. Have a good night, okay?"

"Sleep in heavenly peace," she smiled leaning her head on her door. He nodded and entered his apartment, picking up in the living room before getting ready for bed. There was another series of knocks on the door.

"What's up," he asked opening it to a squinting Jessica. She looked a little constipated or confused. "You good? What you need?"

"Uh. I know I promised, but do I still have to stay away from you until Memorial Day? I kinda had a lotta fun tonight. It looked like you did too."

Erik shook his head, too tired to laugh at the nonsense. One thing for sure, he'd never be bored.

"You can talk to me," he nodded dramatically before yawning. "We family ain't we?"

"Good because for New Year's we gotta go turn up at my granny's cat hotel! Eee!!" She clapped squealing in excitement. "You'll love her, she's just like me but she's just a little weird," she whispered.

Erik's brows knit together as he broke down that statement. That was something to think about when the time came, he was too tired.

"Good night, Jessica," he sang closing the door gently. She stopped it.

"One more thing!"

"Girl do you ever get tired!"

"Merry Christmas, brother from another mother," she grinned. He shook his head with a sigh.

"..See you on New Year's."

@nahimjustfeelingit-writes @goddessofthundathighs @thadelightfulone @mszrenee @woahitslucyylu @badgalbrix1 @supersizemeplz @idont-know-shit @vikkidc @ladymac82 @xsweetdellzx @msreshel

#original #erik killmonger #killmonger #erik stevens #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik stevens au #christmas fic

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hstyleshoney · 4 years

Text

flawed - h.s

AU she has a new roommate and he’s not the worst

Wordcount: 13K // slow-burn fluff with a small hint of angst and mutual-ish pining I suppose, strong language, alcohol use, sexual content

AN: This is my little College/Uni AU piece for @stylesharrys fallinharry10k celebration writing fest! And I got carried away. I’ve had the start of this in my drafts for like two years and this challenge kind of just got me motivated to finish it. I’m really happy with some parts of it and some I’m not so sure about...I hate endings... BUT I had really fun writing it and that is all that matters and hopefully someone will enjoy it. I’m just happy I managed to finish it after such a long time. I’d also really really appreciate some feedback on it so please share your thoughts! I don’t have too much experience writing like this so be nice pls haha. ENJOY! <3

“Harry, you left your dirty dishes by the sink... AGAIN! Dunno how many times I have to remind you to clean up after yourself Put it away. Thx. :)”

Y/N took a deep breath to calm herself down and re-read the pink post-it note infront of her. He was going to be the death of her. He really was. Harry was in every other way the perfect roommate, well perfect was perhaps a bit excessive but he wasn’t the worst, except for the fact that he never took care of his stupid dirty dishes. It drove her mad. It took all her willpower to not smash his stupid little kermit the frog teacup into tiny little pieces whenever she saw it.

And yes, maybe it was irrational of her to get so worked up over a few dirty cups when everything else was going so well. But Y/N liked it when things were in order.

In the past two months that she had lived with Harry she had lost count of how many times she had asked him to wash up his used pans, plates and cups. The first time it happened she didn’t really mind. The second time -- also fine. But the third? That was when she started to get a little bit bothered. Because not only was it his dirty dishes from the same day. No. The plate and cup from the day before were still there on the counter as well. That was the first time she asked him to clean up after himself.

It was still fine though.

Y/N just told herself it was because Harry had previously lived in a student accommodation with a bunch of unruly boys and wasn’t used to picking up after himself. It was fine. He’d soon get it.

Only, he didn’t seem to get it.

Because weeks later she still had to remind him to wash up after he was done in the kitchen. It was like what she said to him went in one ear and out the other. It took her another week before she started suspecting he was leaving it out on purpose to irritate her, which well, it worked. It only annoyed her further.

The amount of tea that boy drank was truly worrying. She had been told she drank a lot of tea, but she seemed to have met her match in Harry. At least judging by all the cups he left around the flat. They were everywhere. Literally. She had even found one under the bathroom sink just a couple days ago and she didn’t even bother asking him how it got there. She had simply just left him a post-it note asking him to put it away.

Because she was certainly not going to go around and pick up after him. He was a grown boy and therefore capable of cleaning up after himself. She wasn’t his mother.

It was basic housekeeping.

She ripped the little pink post-it note off the pad and stuck it up on Harry’s bedroom door so he couldn’t possibly miss it. She stared at it for another minute, pleased with herself, before getting her backpack and left to go to her lecture. It was her own way of telling him off; leaving post-it notes for him. A more passive-aggressive approach had always been her preferred strategy, it made her feel slightly less annoying, and anytime she had left him a note in the morning the dirty dishes had magically disappeared when she came home later.

So there was no reason for her to stop leaving them for him.

Apart from that Harry really was the best roommate she could’ve asked for. The best one in the short amount of time she had had to find a new one anyways. Lexi, her very good friend from home and roommate before Harry, had decided to drop out of uni a week before courses were due to start again after summer; leaving her alone with a flat she couldn’t afford on her own. Y/N couldn’t be mad at her though because she knew how unhappy Lexi was in Manchester. She wasn’t enjoying her course and she missed her family. Y/N couldn’t force Lexi to stay just because she didn’t want to find a new roommate. She wasn’t that selfish.

It just wasn’t ideal. Everyone she knew already had a place to live and she was feeling pretty defeated about the whole thing. She liked her flat and didn’t want to give it up. Her parents offered to help her pay rent until she could find someone to live with again but she didn’t want to take her parents money. It didn’t feel right. So when her friend Lucy mentioned that her boyfriend Nate had a friend who needed a place to live she offered the mysterious man Lexi’s old room without a second thought.

Then Harry showed up outside her door two days later with a large suitcase and a couple of moving boxes.

They didn’t really talk all that much their first week of living together. He mostly kept to himself, trying to get settled in and get used to being back at uni after a long summer. All she knew about him at that point was that he was the same age as her and that he was studying music. Something she probably would’ve figured out sooner or later on her own, because every evening she could hear him play his guitar from inside his bedroom. She couldn’t complain though. It was quite soothing actually, and she wanted to tell him that.

But she also didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable knowing she laid awake listening to him play and then stop because he didn’t want her to eavesdrop.

So Y/N never said anything.

Their second week of living together was when she picked up on his annoying habit of leaving the kitchen a mess. It was also that week he offered to make her a cup of tea for the first time and she would never admit it outloud but it was probably the best cup of tea she had ever had.

But since he left his own cups all around the flat she also refused to tell him that.

By the third week they started having dinner together and asked each other about their days. They were slowly getting to know one another and Y/N realised for the first time that she did in fact enjoy Harry’s company. That Sunday they spent the entire evening binge watching the first season of a scandinavian crime drama on netflix and shared a tub of ice cream.

Then they were suddenly in the same group of friends.

Because with Lexi gone Y/N started hanging out with Lucy more and Lucy was dating Nate and Harry was always hanging out with Nate. Which all just led to Tara, Declan and Connor always being around as well. Their flat had, since Harry moved in, turned into the hotspot for the gang to hang out at. She didn’t mind much, because she liked them and she had never really been a part of a group like them before. It was nice. Lexi moving had in a weird way been a blessing in disguise.

So there really wasn’t anything else to complain about when it came to Harry as a roommate.

Well, maybe one more thing.

And she usually met that reason every Sunday morning in their kitchen after a night out.

That Sunday however took a different turn than what she had gotten used to.

“You told me you didn’t have a girlfriend!”

“Harry,“ Y/N said slowly and narrowed her eyes at him. The girl next to them, whose hair was dyed a rich red color, was only clad in one of Harry’s old band t-shirts and stared at the two of them with frantic eyes.

“Y/N, babe, I’m so sorry,” Harry said and stared at Y/N pleadingly. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on!?” The red-haired girl demanded and crossed her arms over her chest and Y/N could’ve sworn she did a little stomp. “You told me last night that you were single!”

“Yes Harry, I’d love an explanation,” Y/N said and mimicked the redhead by crossing her arms over her chest. She probably would’ve laughed if the situation had been any different because the stranger in the kitchen was glaring at Harry with such a hatred in her eyes and Y/N had never seen a girl look at him that way before.

And it was still funny, but it would’ve been funnier if she wasn’t a part of it. Harry on the other hand only ignored the angry girl and kept the lie going, focusing on his roommate.

“Love, I’m so fucking sorry. It didn’t mean anything! I swear, I was drunk and-”

“Ugh, oh my god,” the redhead cried out, interrupting him. She was fuming and her face was as red as her hair. Before Y/N had the chance to say anything else, to resolve the situation, the redhead stepped forward and slapped Harry across the face. “You’re such a fucking asshole!”

Then she turned around and Y/N’s first instinct was to take a step back because that was how intimidating she looked with her red wild hair and red cheeks. But Y/N, very unexpectedly, found herself being embraced in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so sorry! I swear I had no idea. He told me he didn’t have a girlfriend. You deserve so much better! Leave him.”

And just like that the girl was gone, marching back to Harry’s room to get changed into her own clothes again, and left the two of them alone in the kitchen. Y/N at loss for words and Harry rubbing the side of his face.

It didn’t take very long before the sound of the front door being slammed shut echoed through the flat and made the walls around them shake.

“You’re disgusting,” Y/N muttered then and walked past him to put the kettle on. She had a headache from all the wine she had consumed the previous night and whatever it was that had just happened hadn’t exactly helped her feel any better. She had only wanted a nice cup of tea, and maybe some toast. She had definitely not been prepared, nor expected, to be part of a terrible made-up triangle drama. Not this early.

“Aw, c’mon,” Harry laughed and finally let his face break out into a grin. “I’ve tried to get her to go home all morning but she wouldn’t take any hints. I had no choice.”

Y/N turned her head to glare at him and pointed a warning finger in his direction

“If you bring a girl back you get rid of her yourself. I want no part in your disgusting shenanigans,” she told him. “You deserved that slap.”

“I didn’t even say anything to her,” Harry said and hopped up to take a seat on the counter. “She just assumed.”

“Why would she even assume that?” Y/N asked and eyed him suspiciously “If I was your girlfriend I wouldn’t randomly appear in the kitchen the next morning in my pyjamas. You must’ve told her something.”

“I didn’t,” Harry denied and put his hands up, still grinning. She rolled her eyes. “I swear! She just assumed.”

“Yeah well, you shouldn’t have let her,” she told him and took out two slices of bread to put in the toaster. “Besides, do you have to bring a girl back every weekend?”

“Do you have to go on like five dates a week?”

“I don’t,” she glared at him again. Harry raised his eyebrows at her knowingly and she looked away from him as the next few words left her lips. “It was only three this week.”

“Oh right,” Harry laughed. “Excuse me.”

“Shut up.”

“At least I’m getting something good out of it,” he continued to laugh. “I still don’t understand why you have to go on so many dates all the time. What do you get out of it?”

“I wanna find love,” she shrugged. “Is that so bad?”

“No, not at all,” Harry told her. “But dating douchebags ain’t gonna bring you love.”

“Yeah because sleeping with someone new every weekend is so much better,” she replied sarcastically and watched as Harry slid down from the counter when the kettle made a small noise to let them know it was ready.

“Like I said,” he started with a smirk and took down two tea cups from the cupboard. “At least I get something good out of it. You should try.”

She rolled her eyes again but didn’t say anything else as her toast popped up from the toaster. Her dating life was a running joke among her friends and she had learned to ignore the comments they made. She wanted to find love, so she wasn’t going to sit around and wait for it. Some may say she was a bit desperate, and maybe she was, but it wasn’t her fault every guy she met was wrong for her. They were all either too clingy or too uncommitted.

Or maybe she was just a bit too picky.

Either way, she did go on a lot of dates when her schedule allowed her to. She wanted what everyone else around her seemed to have. Her parents acted more in love with each other every time she saw them, even after 30 years of marriage. One of her sisters had just gotten engaged to her long-term boyfriend and her oldest sister had been married for three years already and was expecting her second child. Her younger cousin got married that summer. Any time Y/N traveled back home all her relatives asked her when she was going to find herself a nice young man. It was exhausting. Y/N was stressed. Pressured. So she dated a lot. There was nothing wrong with that, yet people liked to mock her for it, especially Harry since he was the one who she came back home to after a bad date.

He’d usually burst into her room after a date, wanting all the details only so he could laugh about everything that had gone wrong. But then he also always made her a cup of tea and got her some biscuits.

He wasn’t the worst.

“Hey,” Harry said and held out the tea he had made for her. “You wanna watch an episode of The Bridge?”

Y/N stared at him for a second and for the first time ever her heart skipped a beat. It was no secret that Harry was unbelievably attractive, the kind of attractiveness that terrified you before you got to know him. If he hadn’t showed up outside her door she never would’ve had the guts to talk to him. After getting to know him though he was just Harry; her roommate.

But there was something about him right there and then, dressed casually in sweats and a plain t-shirt as he handed her a cup of tea in their kitchen, that just got to her. She quickly snapped herself out of her thoughts to stop her mind from wandering too far and took the tea from him. Must be the hangover.

“Sure, but only one episode,” she replied and picked up her plate of toast as well. “I have to read some shit for my seminar tomorrow and I can’t keep procrastinating.”

They ended up watching more than just one episode.

And Y/N never got around to reading the chapter she needed to read. She only skimmed through it on her way to her seminar, which is why she made a fool out of herself when the lecturer pointed straight at her and asked her to share her thoughts. She wanted to disappear.

And her day didn’t get any better when she stepped in dog shit on her way home.

And it certainly didn’t get any better when she accidentally knocked over her cup of tea and spilled it all over the rug. So instead of getting to lie on the couch and feel sorry for herself, like she had planned, she had to try and save the white rug from getting a stain. It wasn’t a great day.

It was also at that moment Harry came back home; when she was sitting on the floor, scrubbing the rug furiously and muttering profanities under her breath.

“You know,” Harry began to make his presence known. “There’s something about what you're doing right now that’s really turning me on.”

Y/N stopped her scrubbing and looked up at him, not impressed by his joke or by the stupid smirk on his face.

“Oh fuck off,” she swore and simply raised her hand and her middle finger at him. “Or make yourself useful and get some baking soda or something.”

“Bad day?” he asked while putting his guitar case down. She only glared at him.

“What do you think?”

“I’ll just get the baking soda.”

“Good choice.”

They cleaned the rug together and after a good half an hour of scrubbing and googling the best tricks to remove tea stains they managed to save it from getting ruined. Y/N slumped down on the couch again, exhausted and defeated, and took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down.

What a shit day.

Harry made her a new cup and put away everything they had used to get rid of the spilled one before joining her on the small couch.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked and squeezed his brows together, uncertain how to approach her.

“I just had a shit day,” she sighed deeply. “Completely fucked up my seminar.”

“I’m sure you didn’t.”

“Ha!” Y/N scoffed. “No, I did. But it was my own fault though, so I can't really cry about it.”

“Well,” Harry scratched the back of his head. “Can I do anything to make you feel better? We could get some pizza and watch a movie or something?”

“I can’t,” she grumbled. “I have an assignment I have to finish by Wednesday and considering how shit I did today I have to focus. I can’t fuck this up too.”

“You have to eat something though.”

“Yeah, I will. I’ll just heat up some of that leftover pasta later or something,” she assured him and maybe if she hadn’t been so frustrated with herself she wouldn’t have confused the way her heart was racing inside her chest with stress; when in reality it was beating extra for the green eyed boy next to her.

Y/N stayed in her room for the rest of the afternoon into the evening, reading and typing away. She wouldn’t say it was going well, but she didn't want to throw her computer out the window and she always appreciated those rare moments.

She could also hear Harry roaming around in the rest of the flat and later on the low strum of his guitar. She smiled to herself when she heard it and didn’t even realise she was humming along to the melody he was playing until he stopped.

And it wasn’t until her stomach growled loudly that she remembered she hadn’t actually had any dinner yet. She made sure to save her work, hitting ‘save’ an extra time because you could never save a document too many times, before closing her laptop and standing up. Her muscles ached from how long she had been in the same position and she winced a little as she stretched them out.

Then her stomach rumbled and she was once again reminded of how hungry she was. It was nearing 11 pm and she hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, which was not good, and she kind of regretted not accepting Harry’s offer about getting pizza before.

But when she made it into the kitchen there was a pink post-it note on the fridge, only this time she wasn’t the one who put it there.

I got some pizza earlier, saved you a few slices in case you want some instead of that old pasta xx H :)

A warm feeling spread through her body as she read his little note, and she couldn’t help but notice that Harry had a surprisingly neat handwriting. It was cute. Both the handwriting and the message. It put a smile on her face.

While the pizza was being reheated she decided to go find Harry and thank him for the nice gesture. She was just about to knock on his door when she noticed that the TV was still on and she spotted him on the couch.

Asleep.

And it was probably cuter than both his handwriting and the message combined.

His whole body took up the small couch; his legs dangled over the armrest and he had his arms crossed over his chest to make himself smaller. There was a slight frown on his face, presumably from the dream he was having, but it was endearing in a way to still see him so relaxed. He had changed out of the blue jeans he had worn last time she saw him and had on his black shorts and the knitted jumper he always just wore around the flat. He looked comfortable. Homely.

A part of her wanted to run back to her room and get her phone so she could snap a picture of him before he woke up.

But an even bigger part of her stopped her from doing so because it felt inappropriate to take a picture of him sleeping. She wasn’t so sure Harry would appreciate her taking pictures of him without him knowing either. So she refrained.

Then, almost like he could feel her watching him sleep like a total creep, he slowly blinked his eyes open, and honestly... it was probably the cutest thing yet. She blushed as he caught her staring.

“Oh, hey,” he said, his voice low and rough, and rubbed his eyes to get the sleep out of them. “What time is it?”

“Mm it’s about 11.”

“Shit, didn’t realise I fell asleep,” he grumbled and sat up, running a hand through his hair. “Did you finish your assignment?”

“Almost,” she told him and smiled softly. “Thanks for the pizza.”

“No worries,” he said and matched her smile.

“Also, I’m sorry for being so cranky before. I was just a bit stressed.”

Harry shook his head.

“It’s okay,” he reassured her. “We’ve all been there.”

Y/N ended up joining him on the couch for a bit after the pizza was done. They didn’t talk much while she ate and Harry flicked through the channels on the TV, before he eventually decided on an old romcom.

When Harry had first shown up outside the flat she had been nervous about living with him. She had only ever lived with girls before, but it had been easier to get along with him than she had first expected. Not that she had heard anything bad about him; Lucy had nothing but nice things to say when she first told her about Nate’s friend who needed a place to live.

She had just assumed it was going to be harder to live with a boy compared to a girl. But Harry made it easy, aside from the dirty dishes and the unknown women in her kitchen Sunday mornings of course, and he was slowly becoming one of her closest friends. While it was terrifying it also felt like the most natural thing. Like he was meant to be in her life.

Which is why she felt so stupid for what happened next.

“They make love seem so easy in these romcoms,” Y/N complained with a huff. “Why don’t I have a gorgeous guy pining after me? I just want someone to have a secret crush on me and then make a big grand gesture. Is that too much to ask?”

“How do you know you don’t?” Harry questioned and she snorted.

“I highly doubt it. Who would that be?”

Harry shrugged.

“Who knows,” he said. “It’s kinda the point of having someone secretly crushing on you, innit?”

“Oh whatever,” she grumbled and Harry laughed. “You have no say in this. I see the way girls stare at you whenever we go out. You probably have a handful of secret admirers. ”

“Are you forgetting the fact that you go on more dates than the rest of us combined?” Harry pointed out and raised his brows at her. “You probably have more admirers than anyone else I know.”

“Not true.”

“So true,” Harry insisted. “You need to stop trying so hard and maybe just let love find you instead.”

“That’s probably the most cliche thing someone has ever told me,” she said and rolled her eyes. “What am I supposed to do then? Sit around and twiddle my thumbs and wait for someone to come knocking on our door and say they love me?”

“No, not at all,” Harry frowned. “I just think that maybe you need to open your eyes and take a step back. Lower your expectations and don’t be so picky. You’re not going to find Prince charming. No one is flawless.”

“You know what? It’s too late to be having this conversation,” she told him and stood up. There was something about what he just said that made her heart sink a little inside her chest. “I’m going to bed.”

“Hey, you okay?” Harry said and caught her wrist to stop her from leaving. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“It’s okay,” she said and swallowed thickly. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.” His hand was hot on her skin and she couldn’t take her eyes away from his long fingers and how he traced his thumb across her wrist in small circles.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise.”

He really didn’t. Y/N wasn’t sure why she had suddenly gotten so upset; why she took what he said to heart. It made her feel like a brat almost. She was used to people making fun of her dating life but she didn’t like this.

She didn’t want people to think she was shallow or impossible to please. Especially not Harry.

Because that wasn’t the case. There were plenty of good guys out there and she was far from perfect herself. She had a lot of flaws. Y/N had just never clicked with anyone in the way she wanted to and she wasn’t going to get into a relationship with someone she didn’t feel she connected with one hundred percent.

“Okay,” Harry said with a heavy sigh and let go of her wrist. “Goodnight then.”

“Night.”

Harry still had a frown on his face as he watched her take her plate back into the kitchen and Y/N could feel her pulse racing as she felt his eyes on her. It was awkward and she was embarrassed for how she had just handled everything. It wasn’t even a big deal. He hadn’t said anything she hadn’t thought of herself before. Harry was just giving her advice.

So why did she feel so upset?

It was the first time she had ever gotten even the tiniest bit self-conscious about the amount of dates she went on, and as she crawled into bed she couldn’t help but wonder if she felt like this because it was Harry.

It was also the first time she realised she cared a lot about what he thought of her.

She wanted Harry to like her.

Y/N got her period a day later and just like that everything she had felt on Monday made so much sense. Of course. Luckily everything was completely fine between her and Harry the morning after she left him on the couch and they even baked some brownies Tuesday evening because Y/N was craving chocolate, which also made sense when she woke up with stains in her underwear and cramps in her lower region on Wednesday.

Despite that though she had quite a good day. She managed to finish her assignment in time and she didn’t hate it; she was maybe even a little bit pleased with it. She bought herself a new pair of sneakers that were on sale and an eyeshadow palette she had been wanting for a while. Her and Harry got chinese food for dinner before meeting the rest of the gang down at the pub.

Wednesdays meant quiz night and Y/N teamed up with Tara and together they managed to win first prize which gave them £50 to spend at the bar.

Y/N blamed the alcohol for everything that happened after that.

She tripped on her way over to the toilets. She accidentally managed to somehow elbow Connor in the face. She also spilled half a pint of beer all over herself, leaving a huge wet stain on her trousers so it looked like she pissed herself.

But she was still in good spirits.

Until she spotted Harry at the bar with a tall gorgeous girl. Their faces were close and even from the booth she was sitting in she could see his dimples. It left a sour taste in her mouth watching the pair talk and it annoyed her how easily Harry once again had a girl swooning over him. Why was he even off flirting with some random girl when they were all supposed to be there together? And why was he so good at it? And why did he look so good doing it?

Y/N rolled her eyes when the girl giggled and reached out to touch his bicep. Disgusting.

“Hello?” Lucy snapped her fingers in front of Y/N’s face. “You still with us?”

“What?” She tore her eyes away from the scene that was taking place at the bar and turned her attention back to her two friends. “Yeah, of course.” She faked a laugh and took a long sip from her beer. Lucy and Tara shared a look, but they didn’t say anything else about it which she was thankful for.

Mostly because she had no idea how to explain any of it. She glanced over at Harry and the girl again and tried to understand why her chest suddenly felt so tight. It must be the alcohol.

And oh, right, of course, she had her period.

It was her hormones; the only logical explanation.

Satisfied with the answer to her own confusion she threw herself back into the conversation around the table, ignoring the fact that she could still see Harry and the girl in the corner of her eye.

Then Declan showed up at their table with a round of vodka shots for everyone because he knew the bartender and got them for free.

Who was she to say no to free shots?

But she really should’ve.

The strong liquid didn’t sit right with her and instead of giving her a bigger buzz her head felt heavy and her ears were ringing. She also felt a little bit sick; the chinese food she had had with Harry slowly rising in the back of her throat. Taking shots had never really ended well for her but drunk Y/N still always seemed to think it was a fantastic idea.

It was a good thing she didn’t have a lecture or anything the next day, because her hangover was not going to be pretty.

And Y/N didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone before she unexpectedly jumped out of her seat, got her coat and stumbled outside. She needed fresh air and she couldn’t wait.

The second she stepped outside into the cold autumn night she instantly felt better. The nausea from the stuffy pub atmosphere disappeared and she sat down on the curb next to the road and took a few deep breaths.

“Hey there Quiz-Queen, you alright?”

Harry.

She glanced up at him and even though he had called her by the nickname she had jokingly given herself after winning first-prize he was looking down at her with concerned eyes. Her purse hung from his shoulder, she hadn’t even realised she had left it behind, and he had his own long and vibrant plaid coat wrapped around himself; protecting him from the cold.

“Yeah,” she said and took another deep breath. “I just needed some air.”

“Hm,” Harry hummed, relieved she was okay. “Maybe next time let the rest of us know where you’re going and don’t just get up and leave.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Not at all,” Harry assured and shook his head. “Just want to make sure you’re safe. I don’t think that £50 bar tab was the best thing for a lightweight like you.”

“Oiii,” she pouted. “That’s mean. You’re just jealous you didn’t win. How many right answers did you guys get again? 6 out of 20?”

“It’s not about winning, it’s about having fun,” Harry said with a smug smile and a twinkle in his eyes that he only ever got when he thought he was being clever. “And I had fun.”

“Oh give it a rest,” she scoffed but there was still a smile on her face. “You love to win, don’t stand there and pretend to be a good loser when I know how competitive you can get.”

Harry laughed and she felt butterflies come alive inside her stomach as she watched his dimples appear. This time for her and not for some stupid girl at the bar.

“C’mon Silly-girl, let’s get you home,” he said, ignoring her comment about him being a sore loser, and offered his hand to help her up. His fingers were strong around hers and her skin was tingling as she watched her own hand disappear in his.

Once back up on her feet she had to hold onto Harry for a second to stop her head from spinning so much. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol anymore or her hormones... or if it was merely just because of Harry.

It was just easier to blame the alcohol or her period, so that’s what she did.

Harry had an arm around her to support her swaying body as they made their way over to the bus stop, holding her close to him. He smelled like beer and the shampoo she always secretly sniffed when she took a shower. It was something she would never admit out loud, or sober, but she loved the smell of it.

Sometimes she had considered using it on her own hair, it was just so fresh and relaxing, so Harry, but it was also one of those things she wasn’t so sure he would appreciate her doing.

“We should’ve stopped to get some food,” she muttered and slumped back against her seat on the bus. “I’m starving and I’m craving something salty.”

“I can make us something when we get home,” Harry offered.

“Really?” Y/N perked up. ”Could you?”

“Yeah, I’m a bit hungry as well.”

“Oh my gosh, have I ever told you you’re the best roommate?”

“Pretty sure you haven’t,” Harry laughed. "I do, however, have a lot of post-it notes that one could argue suggest the opposite."

“I saw you talking to a girl earlier. She was very pretty.” It slipped out before Y/N had the chance to think twice about it. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with me now and didn’t get to go home with her.”

Harry didn’t laugh at that but he still had the same twinkle in his eyes as before and a fond smile on his lips.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said and suddenly his hand was on her knee and he gave it a gentle squeeze; causing her hormones to act up again so her heart skipped a beat. “You’re not the worst person to be stuck with.”

As expected her hangover wasn’t pretty the next day.

She woke up with a raging headache and an upset stomach. After Harry had made them both some food she had been too tired to go wash her make-up off so the girl staring back at her in the bathroom mirror had black mascara smudges all around her eyes and golden glitter eyeshadow smeared across her bloated face. It was a tragedy. She was a tragedy.

However, the thing that made her hangover feel even worse was when she walked into the kitchen and saw the all dirty pans and plates from her and Harry’s late night meal. Pangs of guilt instantly swept through her. Harry was already gone by the time she woke up. He had an early seminar, which she knew he did because he had told her before they met up with the others at the pub, and she felt terrible that she had kept him up half the night only to make her food. He couldn’t have gotten more than two hours of sleep and it filled her up with guilt.

So much guilt she didn’t leave him a post-it note telling him the kitchen was a mess, because that would’ve just been super fucking rude since it was her fault he was even in the kitchen cocking at 3 am in the first place. Instead she washed up and decided to go out and get his favorite snacks as a thank you, and also because she was craving more chocolate and a fizzy drink.

Being hungover while having your period was really not the best combination.

Y/N hid her tousled hair under a beanie and put on a quick layer of foundation in an attempt to cover up her blotchy skin. It didn’t really help her feel much better about her appearance so she decided to put on a scarf as well to disguise herself as much as possible, just in case she’d run into someone she knew on her way to the store. She didn’t want to be recognised. Not today.

But of course Y/N wasn’t that lucky.

She ran into three people from her course, who all stopped her and chit-chatted to her about their seminars and latest assignment, all while she stood there with a basket full of various brands of crisps, drinks and candy feeling and looking like an absolute troll.

And that wasn’t even the worst.

No.

Because naturally it was also the day she bumped into someone, quite literally, in the stairs on her way back up to the flat.

Y/N yelped and accidentally dropped her bag of snacks as she tried to find her balance. A pair of hands caught her by the shoulders before she fell backwards and when she looked up to see who she had crashed into her whole face turned red.

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” she apologized with wide eyes, her heart beating fast inside her chest.

“No worries,” the man in front of her said and removed his hands from her shoulders, but she kind of wished he hadn’t because his voice was so deep and smoky her knees weakened as he spoke.

Not to mention he had the most stunning pair of eyes she had ever seen. They were a deep, earthy brown color with perfectly long eyelashes she could only ever dream of. He was utterly breathtaking with his long dark hair, scruffy stubble and nose piercing, that she usually didn’t really like on boys but the stranger in front of her made it work. Oh how he made it work.

And as he leaned down to pick up her bag for her she caught a whiff of his fragrance and her knees were seconds away from giving up all together.

“Thank you,” she managed to croak out as he handed her the bag full of snacks and prayed he hadn’t seen what was in it. She looked pathetic enough as it was and she racked her brain for something else to say but there was nothing. Y/N was left completely gobsmacked by the breathtaking man she had just crashed into. Her cheeks only getting hotter and hotter for every second she stood there like a total idiot just staring at him in awe. “I’m Y/N.”

Y/N wanted nothing more than to just sink through the floor in embarrassment. The stranger, thankfully, reached out and shook her extended hand with an amused smile on his lips.

“Luke.”

Luke let his eyes wander up and down her body, taking in her attire, and she had never felt so unattractive as she did in that moment. Why didn’t she at least take a shower before going out? Fuck.

“Right,” she nodded and reached up to adjust her beanie a little, as if it was going to make her look any better. “So eh... do you live here? I haven’t seen you around before.”

What was she doing?

“I do,” Luke confirmed. “I moved in a couple days ago.”

“Awesome.”

Awesome? Fucking idiot.

She was definitely losing her mind. While she did go on a lot of dates she had not been blessed with the ability to make small talk.

“I’m guessing you live here as well?” Luke asked and ran a hand through his hair to push back a couple of strands from his face. It was the hottest thing she had ever seen.

“Yeah,” Y/N confirmed, her mouth dry, and she licked her lips nervously. “I’m on the top floor... aaand I should really get going. My roommate is waiting for me.”

“Of course.”

“It was nice to meet you though. Welcome to the building.” Her heart was still racing. “Again, I’m sorry for crashing into you.”

“Like I said, don’t worry about it. It was good to meet you too,” Luke told her and gave her a small wink. “See you around.”

And Y/N didn’t know how it happened but a strange cackle escaped her lips as he winked at her and she ran off before she could witness his reaction to it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she muttered to herself all the way up to her and Harry’s flat.

Once she got inside she fell back against the door and tried to catch her breath, from both practically running up five flights of stairs and the encounter she had just had with probably the hottest man alive.

She really was pathetic.

After she got herself together she shrugged off her coat and pulled off her stupid beanie, cursing herself yet again for not taking a shower before going to the store. She could at least have put on a cute outfit. But no. She went out looking like a slob.

And as she sauntered into the flat she realised that Harry was home again, and with him were Nate, Lucy and Connor as well.

“Well if it isn’t the Quiz-Queen herself,” Nate teased when he saw her and bowed his head mockingly from where he was sitting on the couch. “Glad to see that you’re still alive after last night.”

“We have a new neighbour,” Y/N informed them, ignoring Nate and his teasing comments, because the new neighbour was the only thing on her mind. “I crashed into him on my way up. Literally. I made a complete fool out of myself.”

“Nothing new then,” Connor joked.

“Ha-ha,” Y/N said dryly. “For real though, he was the hottest man I’ve ever seen. He was unreal.”

“Really?” It got Lucy’s attention and she perked up from where she was sitting on the couch with Nate. “What did he look like?”

“Like a damn model right off the runway,” Y/N groaned and collapsed in one of the armchairs. “I’m telling you, he was unreal. Eyelashes that went on forever. Tall. Cheekbones that could cut glass and his hair was soooooo shiny. He didn’t have a single flaw. He even made a nose piercing look good and you know how I feel about those.”

“Aw, I wanna see him too,” Lucy pouted. “Did you get his name?”

“Luke.”

“So our serial dater has another date then I’m assuming,” Connor sniggered.

“I wish,” Y/N replied with a sigh. “I could hardly get a word out. I just stood there and stared at him like a creep.”

“You could always go over and ask to borrow a cup of sugar,” Nate suggested and wiggled his eyebrows. “And then just suck him off to return the favor.”

“You’re an idiot,” Y/N said and raised her middle finger towards him. It also earned him a slap on the arm from Lucy as she scolded her boyfriend. Connor laughed and made a comment about how it would be the perfect porn scene.

And it was also in that moment Y/N realised Harry hadn’t said anything since she had joined them. She glanced over at him where he sat in the armchair across from her and frowned. He looked tired and it caused the guilt in her to rise up again. In addition to that it troubled her that he wasn’t saying anything about the new neighbour or joining in on the jokes. He just sat in his seat and kept his eyes glued to the TV and the random show that was airing. “Harry?”

“What?”

There was something about how he spoke and how he turned to look at her that made her feel even worse. His voice was taut and low. His eyes burned right through her. It was far from the Harry she was used to. She wanted to ask him what was wrong but she also didn’t want to do so in front of the others if they hadn’t noticed it themselves.

“Um, I got some snacks if you want some,” Y/N said instead. She wasn’t sure if the others had noticed at all but she didn’t like it. Maybe he was angry with her for making him stay up so late? What if it had made him late for his seminar?

“Thank you,” he replied half-heartedly and turned his attention back to the TV without another word. Confusion filled the room and she met Lucy’s baffled expression for a split second. Okay they had noticed. Fuck. Y/N looked at Harry again and there was so much she wanted to ask him but at the same time she was at a loss for words. It wasn’t like him to be so tense. Not one bit.

She didn’t like it.

On Saturday they were all, once again, out getting drunk. After her hangover on Thursday Y/N had told herself she wasn’t going to drink again that week, but Harry was still being acting weird around her so she was easily persuaded.

Because she needed a drink.

Harry hadn’t really done anything, which was also part of the problem. She hadn’t seen him all Friday or Saturday, not until he turned up for pre-drinks at Connor’s flat. And once he was there he didn’t even look at her or talk to her. It bothered her. A lot. She hadn’t had the chance to ask him what was wrong and nothing was making sense. She tried to remember if she had said something inappropriate to him on Wednesday, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t figure out why he was being off with her.

Which is why, after a couple of drinks, she took the first chance she got to confront him about it.

She spotted him alone at one of the tables inside the club they were at and marched right up, ignoring the people she accidentally bumped into on her way, and plopped herself down on the leather sofa next to him. The beer she was carrying spilled over in her hand as she did but she paid no attention to it and Harry looked at her with questioning eyes.

“What’s going on with you?” Y/N wasted no time. The music was loud around them and she had to lean into him to make sure he heard her, his curls tickled her upper lip from how close she was. Harry only shrugged.

“Nothing is going on.”

“Oh really? Could’ve fooled me,” she said, almost shouting because of the music, and rolled her eyes. “You’re acting strange.”

“Nothing is going on,” Harry repeated and pursed his lips, looking away from her. Y/N tilted her head forward, to force him to look at her again, and waved her hand in front of his face.

“Look at me then,” she cried out in frustration. “Stop ignoring me and tell me what’s going on!”

It wasn’t the best spot for them to be having a conversation. A couple of people from the tables around them looked over curiously and the dim lights and loud music of club made it harder than what she would’ve liked. She had originally planned to talk to him that morning but he had gone out before she even woke up and it was the last sign she needed to know that he was avoiding her. So talking to him at a busy club felt like the only option.

She flinched back as Harry unexpectedly turned to face her, almost knocking his head into hers.

”You know for wanting to find love so badly you’re really fucking blind.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Y/N frowned. Harry scoffed.

“You’re so oblivious,” he began. “If you just stopped being so desperate and so obsessed with finding the perfect guy for one damn second then maybe you’d-” Harry stopped himself and pressed his lips together in a thin line as he looked down at the beer in his hands.

“Then what Harry?” she demanded, and didn’t even bother to try calm the anger that was stirring inside her. Harry ignoring her made her feel worse than she ever could’ve imagined. Nothing could’ve prepared her for it. She hated it. “I wouldn’t be so unlovable?”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Don’t,” Harry warned. “You know I would never say that. Don’t be daft.”

“Do I?” she kept challenging him. The alcohol in her bloodstream gave her enough courage to not back down. Even if the loud music made it harder to hear what the other one was saying there was no way she was going to drop it. She needed to know what was going on. She couldn’t go another day with Harry ignoring her; she was too used to having him around for him to just cut her off.

“Yes, you do,” he spat.

“But you think I’m desperate?” she spat back and Y/N wasn’t sure why she was picking a fight with him in the middle of a full packed club, but she was.

Because at least he was talking to her.

“Yeah I do,” Harry admitted and licked his lips. She struggled to breathe a little after that. Her chest felt too tight. “Why are you so set on having the perfect relationship? No couple is perfect.”

“Lucy and Nate are,” she stated, not wanting her facade to falter in front of him. Her throat was dry but her eyes were burning with wet tears because she hated this. She hated it so much.

“No, they’re not,” Harry sneered loudly. “Both of them are far from fucking perfect. Nate is a menace and Lucy is a nutter.”

“Harry, don’t be a dick.”

“What? So just because they’re my friends I’m only allowed see the good in them? I still love both of them and they still love each other even if they’re not perfect,” he insisted. “You know they end up arguing like every night we go out, right? Over something stupid Nate said or some insane shit Lucy did. Do you know how many times Lucy has asked me for advice when it comes to Nate? They’re not perfect.”

“So I’m desperate because I want to find someone who is perfect for me?”

“What if you already have?”

“What?”

The music was still loud around them but suddenly the only thing she could hear was her own beating heart.

And suddenly she became aware of just how close the two of them actually were. Harry’s nose brushed against hers as his mouth carefully, barely, grazed her lips. His breath was hot on her face and oh wow, had his eyelashes always been that long?

Y/N wanted to reach out and touch him, but the way he was looking at her made her unable to move any part of her body. She was frozen; waiting for him to make the next move because she was far too overwhelmed by his presence to do anything herself. He was so close. Too close -- but at the same time not close enough. She wondered if he could hear her heart as well.

“Oi, oi!”

Out of the blue Declan flopped down next to her on the sofa and just like that she was brought back into reality and away from Harry’s green eyes. Declan had two pints of beer with him and grinned at the two of them; clueless to what he had just interrupted. He didn’t come alone though, soon the rest of the gang had gathered around the small table. All so clueless.

Y/N watched as Harry drank what was left of his beer and glared at Declan and the rest while she tried to stop her head from spinning so much. What had just happened?

They were all talking around her but their voices got lost in the loud music and her own thoughts.

‘What if you already have?’ what was that even supposed to mean?

She wanted to turn and look at Harry again but she was too scared of what he might do or say and too scared that everyone else was going to notice something was wrong and ask them about it. Instead she just kept her eyes down to where her thigh was pressing into Harry’s after Declan had squeezed himself down beside them.

Thankfully no one else seemed to pick up on tension between the two of them but Y/N still regretted absolutely everything about her decision to talk to Harry. It hadn’t helped make anything clearer and she was now stuck next to him in a busy club with their drunk friends. Great.

To make things worse she then, out of nowhere, heard someone call her name and she nearly dropped her drink as she noticed who it belonged to. Well fuck.

“Luke.”

His name fell from her lips as soon as she spotted him waving at her. He came up and stood behind Nate and Lucy, with his hands in his pockets and his hair slicked back perfectly. Lucy was quick to turn around to get a look at the guy Y/N had been raving about just a couple days ago. Then she looked at Y/N again with her jaw hanging open and gave her a look that confirmed Luke was indeed as flawless as he had been described.

The tension was thick and awkward as Luke stood before her and her friends, more specifically Harry, and Y/N could feel him tense up beside her as he stared Luke down. She had no idea what to say or do. “This is our new neighbour I was telling you about,” was the only thing she could think of. The smirk on Luke’s face as he heard that she had been talking about him didn’t go unnoticed.

“Y’alright then?” Luke asked and nodded towards Y/N. She couldn’t breathe. How was he there? After everything that had just happened with Harry... where did Luke even come from? She hadn’t processed her conversation with Harry yet, how was she supposed to have a conversation with Luke again, in front of everyone, when her head was so scrambled?

“Yeah, I’m great.” What a fucking lie.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“Oh.” What was happening? “Ummmm, I don’t - well I - ehm I-”

“Yes! She would love a drink!” Tara interrupted her with a big grin, and any other time she would’ve been grateful for her friend stepping in and helping, but now? “Wouldn’t you?” Y/N wasn’t even sure.

“I ehhh - well, I guess so?”

What?

Her whole body was screaming NO when she got up and felt Harry’s warmth leave her side. His eyes burned into her back and it was a miracle she even made it to the bar with Luke without vomiting right there and then.

Two days ago, when she first bumped into Luke, all she wanted was to go on a date with him. But something had changed. Something inside her had clicked, and it wasn’t her hormones or the alcohol this time. All she could think about as Luke talked to her and bought her a new drink was how he wasn’t Harry.

Luke didn’t know how she liked her tea. Luke didn’t know she couldn’t go straight to bed after watching a thriller or anything that resembled a scary movie; she needed to watch something more upbeat and cheerful before going to sleep. Luke didn’t know she liked to keep things in order. Luke didn’t know she ate her weight in chocolate when she got her period. Luke didn’t know she loved mint chocolate chip ice cream. Luke didn’t know she called her mum at least once a day. Luke didn’t know she was desperate to find love.

Harry did.

Harry knew all those things.

And as she stood at the bar with Luke she realised he wasn’t actually flawless. He was still gorgeous, only a little less breathtaking that time around because he knew he looked good and he wasn’t humble about it. He smelled like cigarettes and she hated the smell of smoke mixed with his strong cologne. It gave her a headache. He also couldn’t keep his eyes off her cleavage and didn’t bother asking her anything about herself.

His nose piercing didn’t even look that good.

Luke wasn’t flawless and she didn’t really like him.

Harry wasn’t flawless either... but she still liked him.

“And that’s when we-”

“You know what Luke,” she interrupted and put a finger up to stop him from talking. “I think I have to get back to my friends. But um... “ She glanced at the drink he had bought her before picking it up and downed it in one go, because he had paid for it and the least she could do was drink it. The alcohol burned a little in the back of her throat and she accidentally spilled a few drops down her shirt. She hardly noticed though because she was just aching to get back to her friends. Luke looked at her with wide eyes and a puzzled expression. “Thanks for the drink! I’ll see you around.”

With that she walked off with just one thing, or rather someone, on her mind.

But that someone wasn’t there when she found her friends again. She spotted Lucy and her bright dress sitting on Nate’s lap. She spotted Tara having a conversation with a girl from the table next to them. She spotted Declan and Connor laughing loudly over something on their phones.

She did not spot Harry.

Tara was the first one to notice her standing there just staring at the empty seat where Harry was sat a while ago. Tara excused herself from the conversation she was having and came up to Y/N, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Where is Harry?”

“He left,” Tara told her. “I think.”

“Hey, what’s going on?” Lucy came up to her as well, with a small frown on her face, worried something had happened. “Is everything alright?”

“I need to talk to Harry,” Y/N said and looked around the club; hoping to spot his curls somewhere in the crowd. Her eyes stung with tears when she couldn’t see him.

“He left after you walked off,” Lucy confirmed softly. “Is everything alright? Did something happen with Luke?”

“Yes- I mean no. I have to go,” was all she told them before she rushed off. “I need Harry.”

Y/N wasn’t aware of the three words that left her mouth but it didn’t make them any less true. It all made so much sense. It had clicked. ‘What if you already have?’

Yes.

How could she have been so blind?

When she finally made it home she was out of breath from running all the way from the bus stop to their flat. She prayed Harry had actually gone home and not continued his night at some other club. She wasn’t sure what she’d do if he had.

But as soon as she stepped inside she heard the familiar sound of his guitar coming from his bedroom and she didn’t even bother catching her breath before walking across the flat in a couple of strides. She hadn't really thought anything through. Her whole body was just screaming at her that she needed Harry and it couldn't wait.

Harry left his dirty dishes out. He sometimes forgot to put the toilet seat down. He was disorganized. He did not only leave his dirty dishes out but he could also leave his dirty socks lying around the flat. He didn't like the same music as her. He could be petty and immature. He had ignored her for two days.

But Harry also made her tea when she was having a bad day. He made her laugh. He made her food in middle of the night. He always asked about her day. He helped her home when she got too drunk. He sometimes surprised her with breakfast. He understood her. He made her feel at ease and she could always be herself around him.

All of the good thing outweighed the bad, and the bad was only part of who he was; Harry, her roommate, her friend, the boy who she hadn't realised gave her butterflies until now.

And perhaps she should’ve knocked or at least made her presence known in any other way because as she slung his bedroom door open Harry was visibly startled and a sour note came from his guitar. He looked at her with wide eyes.

“Y/N? What the fuck?”

“Do I have any flaws?” she asked him breathlessly.

“What?” he asked. “What do you mean?”

“What about me annoys you?”

“Shouldn’t you be off getting a drink with Mr. Flawess himself.”

“Well I changed my mind. Now just answer the question,” she urged, wanting to cut straight to the chase. Harry frowned and she wasn’t really sure if he was angry with her or just confused. Maybe both? It didn’t matter though, she just needed answers before she passed out from the anxiety running through her. “Do I have any flaws?”

“I - yeah. You do,” he said. Y/N nodded and stepped further into his room, wanting to be closer to him. “Why?”

“Just - wait,” she told him and ignored his question by asking her own. “What are they?”

Harry didn’t reply at first. He just sat in silence and stared at her with his brows still pressed together in a frown. God, what if she had gotten it all wrong? She’d have to give up the flat to Harry and move out, leave Manchester, maybe even leave the UK. She’d be absolutely mortified; she’d never recover from it.

Just as she lost all hope and considered running off to hide in her own bedroom for the rest of the night, possibly for the rest of the term, Harry slowly put his guitar to the side. He rubbed his hand over his chin and pinched the bottom of his lip between his index finger and his thumb, contemplating his next few words cautiously.

“You’re incredibly stubborn,” he told her and despite the fact that he had just basically insulted her a wave relief washed over her as he finally said something.

“Okay, what else?”

“You ask way too many questions during a movie.”

“Okay.”

“You overthink absolutely everything.”

“More.”

“You leave notes around the flat over the most meaningless things.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t leave the kitchen a mess then.”

“You have too much milk in your tea.”

“You don’t have enough.”

Harry cracked a smile but it faltered almost just as quickly.

“You want love but don’t see the person right in front of you who has fallen head over heels for you.”

Y/N had never seen or heard him as vulnerable as he was right there and then. For a moment she wondered if maybe she had misheard him but judging by his nervous fidgeting and how he for the first time ever struggled to look her in the eyes she quickly realised she hadn’t.

“I do now,” she admitted quietly, almost too quiet, and shifted her weight from one foot to the other awkwardly. “I see you.”

Harry still heard her and looked right into her eyes as he took a sharp breath. Her body ached to feel his touch as she stood in the middle of his room, terrified of what she was about to ask next, but there was no going back. It was, after all, the reason she had followed him home. “And you still like me despite all my flaws?”

“Well,” Harry started and fought back a smile. “I suppose I wouldn’t have saved all your notes if I didn't.”

It was really all it took for her to close the space between them and throw herself over him. Harry was quick to catch her and his arms wrapped around her body tightly, holding her close, as she pressed her lips to his.

It was strange kissing him and she didn’t quite know where to put her own hands at first, but it felt right that much she knew. Her whole body was on fire from just a simple little kiss. Y/N never wanted it to stop. Harry grinned against her lips before deepening the kiss and sneaked his hands in under her blazer, pushing it off her shoulders before running his hands over her body.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and it was almost ridiculous how giddy she felt. Harry made her feel drunk, more so than the alcohol in her body. Nothing had ever tasted as good as him. She was completely lost in him and his warmth.

It wasn’t until she felt him pull at her trousers that she was reminded of reality again and she pulled away from his lips. “You okay?” Harry asked immediately.

“Yeah,” she panted and leaned her forehead against his, twirling the hair in the back of his neck around her finger carefully. “I just... I still got my period.”

“Okay,” Harry nodded and tightened his grip on her, still holding her close, and she was sure she could feel his heartbeat against hers. “S’that all? Because frankly I don’t really care about a little blood right now.”

“Oh.”

“Do you?”

“I... no.”

“You sure?” Harry wondered and placed his fingers under her chin and angled her face so he could look into her eyes. He saw right through her and her mind was hazy as her body melted right into his. Harry made her feel safe and comfortable and it was all she needed to know she was sure.

She needed him.

“Give me a second,” she said and gave him a quick peck before getting off him. It pained her to do so but even as she made her way over to the bathroom to remove her tampon, perhaps one of the most unattractive things you could do, Harry’s eyes on her as she walked away made her feel sexier than she ever had before.

She didn’t waste a single second inside the bathroom and quickly did what she had to before she just about ran back to Harry’s bedroom. She caught a quick glimpse of herself in the mirror and couldn’t help but laugh. She looked dazed. But in the best possible way. Her cheeks were rosy. Her hair was messy. Lips swollen. It was the first time she had ever seen herself look so radiant. Glowing almost.

Happy.

She also decided to not put her trousers back on after she was done in the bathroom, because why waste time when she was planning to take them off soon anyway?

And Harry seemed to have had the same idea because when she came back he had already removed his floral shirt and his beige trousers as well. His lips were the same colour as her lipstick and he didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was staring at her bare legs and underwear. It made her whole body tingle and she didn’t mind him gawking, because she couldn’t take her own eyes away from his naked chest and the bulge between his legs.

“Come here,” Harry murmured and held out his hand for her to take. He gently pulled at her arm until she was sitting on top of him on the bed, straddling his hips. The lack of clothing on both of them made her blush as he embraced her and she felt all of him under her.

Harry cupped one of his hands under her jaw and leaned in to kiss her again. It started out slow but as soon as his lips touched her a soft moan came from her. His lips were slightly chapped and yet they were the best lips she had ever kissed. It didn't matter that they weren’t perfectly soft. Not one bit. Y/N never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again.

The kiss quickly deepend and she had her hands in his hair, tugging at his soft curls and getting lost in the taste of his lips. She was throbbing against him and knew he could also feel just how desperately she wanted him through the thin lace of her panties. His lips were eager against hers and she was too lost in him to notice he had blindly reached out to the bedside table and sought out a condom.

It wasn’t until she felt his hand and the small foil packet brush against her leg that she realised. She pulled back and met his green eyes, breathing hard as she tried to find her words to speak. He looked back at her with questioning eyes, silently asking her if she was alright with what was happening between them, and she just nodded.

She sat back to give him some room and watched as he pulled himself out of his boxers and then helped him get them off before he rolled the condom over his length. The sight alone made her light-headed and, if he hadn’t already, she was sure he could hear how hard her heart was beating. He also caught her staring but she didn’t really care and he only pulled her back into him.

He kissed her along her collarbone, sucking lightly at the skin as he made his way up to her neck. Y/N closed her eyes and hummed with pleasure as she tilted her head to the side to give him better access. Harry ran his hands up and down her back and then slipped his hands in under the tank top she was wearing before he pulled it off her swiftly.

Harry took a few seconds to stare at her naked chest when he discovered she wasn’t wearing a bra before he kissed each of her breasts lightly, making her nipples hard. Y/N just cupped his face and pulled his head up so she could kiss him again, impatient and desperate to feel him inside her and he giggled against her lips.

Harry only pushed the crotch of her underwear to the side when he lined himself up under her. She gasped as she slowly sank down onto him and had to break their kiss. Harry had one hand around her thigh and the other on the back of her head, her hair twisted between his fingers, as they breathed the same air.

When she eventually started to move her hips after getting used to the stretch of him he groaned softly, low in his throat, and tightened the grip he had on her. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

Her blood rushed inside her and her whole chest and face flushed from hearing his words and how hoarse his voice was. She put her hands on his stomach, her fingers digging into his skin around his tattoo, before lifting her hips and taking all of him again; craving the friction created between the two of them.

Harry moaned and let his head fall backwards, breathing heavily, and she couldn’t take her eyes away from his strong jawline. She also couldn’t stop herself from kissing him right there and Harry moaned again as he felt her lips on his skin.

It made her smile; knowing she was having the same affect on him that he had on her.

Y/N did her best to find a steady rhythm riding him but her thighs were trembling around him and it had been awhile since she had been on top of anyone. She had almost forgotten how to do it. Harry bucked his hips up into her and she barely had time to react before he impatiently flipped them over and yanked her underwear off.

A loud moan left her lips as he pushed right back into her and instantly built up a new quicker pace, giving her all of him and hitting the spot in her that made her toes curl. He leaned down and connected their mouths again. His chest was slick with sweat as his body pressed against hers and her hands were all over him because she just couldn’t decide where to put them. She wanted all of him.

And when Harry hoisted himself up and hooked one of her legs over his shoulder to get deeper she didn’t care if any of their neighbours heard her.

“Oh my god.”

Then his fingers were stroking her between her legs and it quite literally took her breath away. Her whole body was trembling as she felt every hot and thick inch of him. Her release was close, she could feel it in the pit of her stomach and he could see it on her as he continued to move above her.

And not once did Harry lose his pace or falter when her nails scratched his back and she clenched tightly around him as her orgasm swept through her body. He kept thrusting into her while she moaned and shivered beneath him.

Just as she came down from her high he got his own release and came with a loud sigh of relief. He continued to move his hips against hers until his muscles gave up from exhaustion and he collapsed on top of her.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, both spent, and she tried to catch her breath.

Which was hard seeing as he was still on top of her and she could still feel him inside her.

When he raised his head to look down at her, grinning from ear to ear, her whole stomach fluttered. And this time she knew it was because of Harry. It wasn’t because of alcohol. Not because she had a hangover. Not because she was stressed. Maybe because of a few hormones.

But there were just no excuses.

Eventually Harry got up. He removed the used condom and retrieved a small towel to clean himself up quickly before handing it over and climbing back into bed with her.

Y/N curled up against his chest and let him run his fingers through her hair, gently scratching the top of her head, and she was seconds away from falling asleep when he spoke up.

“I’m sorry for calling you desperate.”

Y/N tilted her head up to look at him.

“S’okay, I have been a little.”

“Still,” he mumbled. “Wasn’t really fair of me.”

“You know you could’ve just told me.”

“I was going to,” Harry admitted with a low chuckle. “But you always came back home announcing you were going on another date so it never really felt like the right time.”

“Hmm, well you didn’t really help yourself by bringing a girl back like every weekend,” she pointed out and laughed lightly. “It was hard to not be blind.”

“Had to try to forget about you somehow,” Harry admitted and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, letting his lips linger for a few seconds before continuing. “But you and your stupid post-it notes made it hard.”

“Did you really save all of them?” she asked and pushed herself up so she was leaning on her elbows. She couldn’t stop herself from grinning proudly. Harry laughed and tipped his head back, covering his face with his hands as his cheeks turned pink.

“God, I’m gonna regret telling you that aren’t I?”

“Maybe,” she laughed again before giving his chest a quick kiss, just because she could. “I do kind of enjoy writing them for you though.”

“Of course you do,” Harry said and peaked out from behind his hands with a cheeky smile. “And I enjoy leaving the kitchen a mess because I know you’ll leave me a new one,” he confessed and tapped her nose.

“I fuckin’ knew it!” she exclaimed with a gasp and shoved him away from her playfully. “You absolute knobhead!”

Harry only laughed and pulled her back into his warm body.

On her way back home from the club Y/N had been a little bit worried that she was wrong or that it was going to be weird to go from roommates to more with Harry -- but it felt like the most natural thing. It felt just as natural as everything else they already did together, and maybe that was why she had been so picky recently. Maybe it was why she looked for flaws in every guy she dated so she had an excuse to not see them again. She had already found what she wanted; she just hadn’t realised. How stupid.

“Hey Harry?”

“Hm?”

“Would you like to go on a date with me?”

please let me know your thoughts here ! And please share it if you liked it, it would mean a lot to me! 💛

#Harry Styles fanfiction #Harry Styles fanfic #Harry Styles writing #Harry Styles oneshot #Harry Styles one shot #Harry Styles fluff #Harry Styles smut #Harry Styles #Fallinharry10k

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fuckyeahisawthat · 3 years

Text

@ignisentis replied to your post:

I read some reviews and also found it fascinating that so many reviewers seemed to miss the overall arc of the show and what it was trying to do with narrative expectations. There were some I read that barely even mentioned Primo, and that was so confusing because he’s such a big part of the show! He’s a main character, for goodness sake! (Which I was pleasantly surprised by when I watched the show. I had no idea that role would be so big and so compelling.)

I do also wonder if being able to binge the series all at once makes those themes more obvious, but dang, it did feel pretty clear by halfway through the show, especially by the Silenzio episode where you’re partially rooting for Little Paul to escape and partially rooting for Primo to catch him again and that doesn’t feel like competing desires. It’s so well done!

Ha guess who watched Silenzio (episode 5) again last night and needs to yell about it. It’s hard to pick a favorite episode of Trust because so many of the things I like about it are, like, thematic statements and plot and character arcs that span multiple episodes. But also...Silenzio is my favorite episode. It’s definitely the place where I went from “hey this is fun” to “holy FUCK this show is brilliant.”

In addition to being just...masterfully executed suspense from start to finish, I think it does exactly what you’re describing in terms of allowing us to sustain emotional investment with multiple characters who are directly opposed to each other, which is really challenging to do and requires both great writing and great performances to pull off. It’s sort of a microcosm of what I was talking about in this longer post.

The reason this episode works so well is that we understand the stakes for everyone involved. The stakes for Paul and Angelo are fairly obvious, and if we had any doubt, Angelo spells it out for us early in the episode. If they’re caught, he’ll be killed, and Paul will, at best, be recaptured by violent people who are now extremely angry at him. And in this episode we get to see exactly how scary Primo can be when he’s angry, in a way that’s different from his other violent set pieces so far. In the sunflower field he is relaxed and stylish and funny, and we’re invited to find his competence with violence enjoyable to watch. In Silenzio he is just dead terrifying. (In addition to the whole “hunt you down like an animal” bit, let us not forget that he starts the episode being ready to straight up set someone on fire.) So we have a hope and a fear for Paul and Angelo that are very well-defined.

But we also understand the stakes for Primo. He has literally just convinced his uncle that they can pull this off, and now they have nothing but problems. They’ve gotten an insulting ransom offer. The kidnap victim ran off, due to Primo’s underlings disobeying him and the fact that Primo was passed out drunk at a gas station overnight. (Granted, if he had come back to the house immediately after realizing the gas pump was locked, he probably would have caught Paul and Angelo in the act of escaping and killed them both that night, which would have been a much bigger mistake...but the characters haven’t come to that conclusion yet.) Primo doesn’t look particularly competent in Salvatore’s eyes at the beginning of the episode, and that’s part of what fuels the maniacal intensity with which he pursues them.

I have a writing teacher who said that the way we get to know characters in dramatic writing is by giving them a problem and watching how they solve it. And we get to know a lot about Primo in this episode. Despite what Salvatore might think, we get to see his competence--he says he is going to find them, and he goddamn well does. We get a sense of his greater ambitions for the first time. And we see the absolutely ferocious single-minded stubbornness with which he can pursue something (or someone) when the stakes are high for him. For me, this was the episode where I got convinced, oh, yeah, this is the person who can get John Paul “Not One Single, Solitary Cent” Getty to pay the ransom.

To me this episode always has such a sense of fatalism to it, because it’s about how every single character is trapped by the violence of their situation. For Angelo the choices are help Paul and risk his own life, or become an accessory to murder at seventeen. That’s how their world works. At the same time we know that Primo has to respond to disobedience with violence, because that is also how their world works. We know from the start that Paul and Angelo are doomed, if only because we know we’re only halfway through the series. But they manage to just barely escape getting caught so many times, and that little bit of hope for them pulls us into the tension really effectively. And they’re able to sustain that tension until, like, the literal last thirty seconds of the episode, and then resolve it in the most violent and dramatic fashion possible. And while the ending is tragic and horrifying, it’s also (to me at least) weirdly satisfying in a narrative sense, in the way that releasing that tension is always going to be satisfying after an entire episode of buildup. Trust is extremely good at setup and payoff, and the end of that episode is one hell of a payoff. It’s a grim payoff, but it’s one that feels like it fits the plot and the tone and the themes of the story.

#trust fx #primo nizzuto #screenwriting #suspense #violence #fwiw it's worth i watched the show 1-2 episodes at a time and definitely not over the course of 10 weeks #but some of this stuff just seems so obvious to me??#and if you're a professional film critic isn't it...like...your job to pick up on these things??#also uhh this is definitely the episode where i went...oh no....i have a primo problem #which seems weird because he's TERRIFYING but he is also just extremely compelling in this episode

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reelperspective · 3 years

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I’m generally not the type to mourn celebrity deaths. It’s usually beyond me to truly mourn the passing of someone who is so completely removed from my life. I tend to reserve grief for personal losses. I would say that is still true - I don’t know if you could call what I’m feeling grief, but it’s definitely something akin to it.

When I heard that Naya Rivera had passed away in a drowning accident, I thought “my god that sucks. That glee cast is cursed or something.” Then I moved on with my life, as one does. I felt it in the moment because Santana was my favorite character (well her and Brittany), but I didn’t dwell on it. I hadn’t seen the show in years, so I felt removed from it.

Months later, I go down a YouTube recommended video rabbit hole and end up watching the Glee version of Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide. I’d always loved that cover of the song. From the moment I first heard it, I thought it was beautifully arranged and flawlessly executed, but I digress. The point is, after watching it, I started watching other Glee videos (again, recommended videos). At a certain point I thought, “fuck it, I haven’t seen this show in years. Maybe it’s time for a re-watch.” So, I started to binge watch it. It is just as hilarious and awesome as the first time. And again, just as the first time, Santana proved to be my favorite character.

I think that Santana was the most emotionally complex character on that show. I think she had a great arc as a character that started off not being very sympathetic at all, to becoming a character that people could really relate to and root for. She had a fascinating duality to her as the bully who sometimes had a heart. Her love for Brittany added a significant layer to her character - displaying a side of her that had previously been unseen. A side reserved only for Brittany- the exception to her rule. Which is remarkable because, being that she was an idiot, Brittany should have been an easy target for Santana’s ridicule. Later, Santana reveals in a rant against Rory the Irishman, that she believes Brittany to be beautiful, innocent, and “everything good in this miserable, stinking world.” This revelation spoke to the heart of the character because it showed that despite her blatantly “Evil” characteristics, what Santana truly values most is goodness and purity of spirit. Brittany was the only person Santana never insulted. You could say that this is because she loved Brittany. That’s a factor, for sure, but I think the main reason is that even she couldn’t tear down someone so innocent. This, and other instances of vulnerability, developed Santana into a more three dimensional character - someone real, rather than just the caricature of a mean girl.

Yes, it’s true that the writers can be credited for this nuance in her character, but I believe it can be argued that Naya highlighted these nuances flawlessly. She did a beautiful job of portraying Santana’s *reluctant* displays of humanity. Not to mention how fucking talented she was when it came to the singing and the dancing. Vocally she’s top three along with Amber Riley and Lea Michele - and she’s a better dancer than either of them.

I noticed all of these things during this recent re-watch of mine. I’d always enjoyed Santana’s viscious barbs and her scathing wit, but this time I gained a deeper appreciation of the character as well.

Why am I talking about the character when this post started off being about grief? Well, watching the show again really drove home what a goddamn tragedy it is for the world to lose someone so talented and hilarious. This feeling drove me to look into Naya as a person. I listened to her audio book, and I read what people have said about her, and the general consensus is that she was an all-around amazing individual. She was Kind but sassy, tough yet compassionate, funny and intelligent. I then watched some of her interviews, and her personality was positively magnetic. She always lead with a blunt honesty that she delivered with this matter-of-fact attitude and wry wit. She owned up to things that most people in her position would hide. Despite the bluntness, she never seemed tacky or crass. Then to add to these revelations is the observation that she so clearly loved her little son with a tremendous passion. I’m sure all celebrities love their children more than life itself, but most don’t speak out about it specifically or so frequently. Naya, on many occasions, spoke of her passion for motherhood, and how much it meant to her to be Josey’s mom. With all of the things she has accomplished, she credited her son as her greatest success. Topics that get repeated across many conversations tend to be subjects that the speaker is fairly obsessed with. It is clear that her son was her whole world. He was not only her responsibility and her greatest love, but also her greatest source of joy. I’m not surprised that she somehow found a way to save him even though she couldn’t save herself.

Which leads to the final straw on the camel’s back - the manner in which she died. As was mentioned previously, she saved her son - which kicks you right in the feels. He had to witness some of her final moments - kick #2. Then there’s the tragedy of the circumstances of the death itself. Drowning is a horrific way to die. She must have been so terrified in her final moments. To add to this is the fact that had any of a number of events transpired differently, she’d still be with us today. Had she not gone to the lake that day. Had she gone with at least one other adult. Had she not jumped out of the boat. Had she worn a life vest. Had the boat had an anchor and a ladder attached to It’s side.

Then I’m confused about how this all went down. Apparently, she was sucked under the water by a current - I guess the equivalent of an undertow - but I thought undertows only happened in the ocean! Considering that this is a lake - a man made one at that- and not a river or an ocean, where the fuck did this incredibly strong underwater current come from? A lake is pretty much stagnant water, is it not? I looked at a map of it, and from what I can tell, there are no rivers feeding into this lake. So, I’m confused and this death is not only tragic, but senseless.

It’s just so fucking sad - every which way you look at it. I feel it in my very soul, and as I said before, I never feel celebrity deaths like this. I can’t stop thinking about her poor child having to grow up without his mommy. I lost someone as a child, and it left an enormous hole in my heart. I remember feeling so profoundly and absolutely destroyed. There are no words to describe the depths of my despair, and I can’t help but think that Josey is feeling that now. Though I was older than he is - I don’t know how much his young mind can make sense of or process the reality of his mother’s death. I know for sure that he is feeling it - he will miss her forever. Ryan Dorsey, his father, released a statement in which he said that he had to explain to his son that his mother was in heaven, and Josey asked him how he could go there too so that he could be with her. That just breaks my heart - I know exactly how he feels. I can’t stop thinking about Naya’s mother and how she collapsed on the dock at Lake Piru and threw her hands out in a display of pure, all-consuming grief. As I’ve said, I’ve felt grief like that before. I’ve collapsed to my knees under the weight of it. So, I feel for her family and her friends. I saw an interview in which the actress who played Santana’s abuela says that Heather Morris was so distraught, she wanted to jump into the lake to search for Naya herself.

I also feel a keen sense of loss for all of the wonderful things she will never do, all of the hilarious things she had yet to say, and all of the characters she might have been destined to bring to life with a singular authenticity. Lastly, and least importantly, I feel this keenly because she and I are the same age. The reality of such a thing just slaps one in the face.

That being said, I keep having these moments of cognitive dissonance as I’m watching the show. I feel her loss so much, yet it seems like she’s not dead. She can’t be! Look at her. Look at how full of life she is. She’s so young. That can’t be the reality - but alas, it is. I keep remembering that it is, and the cycle of emotion starts up all over again.

I know that part of the reason for my deep feelings about this tragedy has to do with my own experience with loss. I’ve lost so many people in my lifetime - some of which, I’ve loved more than life itself. At least one of which, I had wanted to follow into the grave because I could not fathom my life without her in it - it just hurt too much.

So I lay this all out here on tumblr. It is very likely that no one will ever read it, and that’s okay. I just needed to express it anyway as it has been building up inside of me.

#naya rivera #naya rivera son #naya rivera death #gleek #glee #heather morris

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out-of-jams · 4 years

Text

Direct Message || Part one || kth

↠ Direct Message ↞ “Never in a million years would you have expected Kim--motherfucking--Taehyung of world famous Bangtan Sonyeondan, the biggest boyband in the entire world, to find it. To watch your whole cover of his song, Winter Bear, and actually like it. And not just like it.

He posted a link on Weverse for everyone else to see it too.”

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings/Genre: Fluff. Drabble series. Language barrier!au. Idol!Taehyung. Youtuber!Reader. Bad language. Somewhat social media!au.

A/n: Just a smol series. And yes, this is completely inspired by that one post Tae made on Weverse with a link to that girl’s yt channel. LOL. Also, this is kind of a part of the Cheers If You Agree universe!

All of my works are purely fiction. Everything I write is my intellectual property and therefore belongs to me. ©out-of-jams. Do not copy or repost without permission.

| Next | Masterlist |

“Holy shit.”

There was no word in the history of the English language that could be used to describe what you were currently going through.

“Are you literally fucking kidding me?” Your voice, so high pitched that you were pretty sure only your next door neighbor’s demonic chihuahua could hear it, barely left your parted lips. Because you couldn’t believe what you were staring at. To be honest, you weren’t even sure if you could believe it despite the clear proof in the form of your phone. If you weren’t sitting on your bed, you were pretty sure that your legs would have collapsed right out from under you.

“This is..is...” Shaking, you lifted your hand to bring the brightly lit screen closer to your face. No matter how many times you swiped up to refresh the page with trembling fingers, it didn’t change. It was still there. Your fucking face! Well, the thumbnail at least.

You blinked.

Again.

Refreshed the page.

Again.

Yup, still there.

A link to YouTube of a video that you’d just recently uploaded stared back at you unwaveringly. You hadn’t thought anything of it when you’d made it, had just figured that it’d be like any other cover you’d uploaded throughout the past year. And you hadn’t been expecting a whole lot of views either, seeing as how your channel was still relatively new and all. When you’d clicked “upload” and closed out of the page, you’d figured that you’d go back and check in a few days to see how it was received. If people had liked it.

Sometimes you would get very nice, encouraging comments from people. And even though it was a slow climb, your subscriber count went up every couple of days. You’d been singing for years, as long as you could remember honestly, but you’d only just gotten the confidence to put yourself out there last year. Hell, the only reason you started posting in the first place was because your friends all but threatened bodily harm if you didn’t do it.

“You’re so talented, dude. Don’t let that go to waste.” Your best friend had told you one day over coffee. “Or you’ll regret it when you’re old and dusty.”

You hadn’t thought you’d become overly famous or anything. Just branch out and share your music with other people.

Never in a million years would you have expected Kim--motherfucking--Taehyung of world famous Bangtan Sonyeondan, the biggest boyband in the entire world, to find it. To watch your whole cover of his song Winter Bear and actually like it. And not just like it.

He posted a link on Weverse for everyone else to see it too.

When the green little notification that he’d posted something had first slid into view on your screen, you hadn’t thought much thought of it. Taehyung was incredibly active on the app and would spam it all the time with ridiculously funny selcas or respond to army’s posts in his free time. So you’d just brushed it to the side to check on later. Fighting the lag of millions of other people to try and translate what he posted wasn’t something that you were interested in at that moment.

Even if he ended up deleting it later, you were pretty sure that someone on Twitter would have taken a screenshot and it’d circulate around at some point. It wasn’t that you didn’t care, you just didn’t check every single thing the members posted to the app the moment that they were uploaded. Therefore, you hadn’t really given it a second thought.

Until your best friend and fellow army blew your phone up with over a dozen messages, completely interrupting your lazy Netflix binge. Most of them hadn’t made any sense, had just been a string of nonsensical key smashes with the occasional “!!” tacked on. Since she was stuck in a movie theater with her boyfriend, she hadn’t been able to call you without causing a scene. So she’d resorted to flooding you with texts until you responded.

Why she’d even been checking the Weverse notification in the darkened theater in the first place was a mystery to you. Especially since you knew she’d been dying to see that movie for weeks. Whatever it was. But that didn’t matter, not when she’d piqued your interest with a text saying, “WEVERSE HUGHIH NOW.” You’d figured that Taehyung must have just posted a thirst trap or something again.

But you’d been wrong.

Flooding in right beneath his post were hundreds of comments. Some were in English, others in Korean, and the rest in languages that you had no idea how to read. They varied in reactions too, and everytime you started to read one, the page would glitch out and another would take its place.

He hadn’t put any text in the post, just the link.

What the hell was that supposed to mean? That he liked it? He had to have, right? Otherwise he wouldn’t have posted it. Unless...well, unless he absolutely hated it and wanted to send army after you to--

Shaking your head to get rid of the onslaught of extremely unrealistically anxious thoughts, you watched the amount of comments and cheers to the post skyrocket. If just his post was getting so much attention, what would that mean for…?

Immediately you switched apps and opened up YouTube. Navigating to the video only took a minute, but felt like hours and your heartbeat pounding in your ears didn’t help. Especially not when you pulled up the same cover and could do nothing but freeze in shock.

“Oh, my god.” Not only did you have over a hundred thousand views already, but subscription notifications were going off every two seconds.

Setting your phone down onto your bed, you watched with unseeing eyes as the screen went dark from inactivity.

How the hell were you supposed to respond to the comments? Were you even supposed to? You’d never spoken a word to Kim Taehyung in your whole life. In fact, you’d only ever been to a handful of BTS concerts. But you knew how crazy some people could get. Would they start thinking you were dating him or something just because he’d shared a link to your video.

Fuck, you really hoped not.

Your phone lighting up snapped you out of your thoughts. You’d turned off all push notifications for comments and subscriptions, so you reached for it without a second thought. And stared down at the bright screen with bewilderment.

Whatever the rest of the message was got cut off there. Who the..?

With a shrug and curiosity needing sating, you swiped it open.

#taehyung #taehyung fic #bangtanarmynet #magicshopnet #btsbookclub #ficswithluv #r taehyung

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lilydalexf · 3 years

Photo

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sarah Ellen Parsons

Sarah Ellen Parsons has 18 X-Files stories at Gossamer and 19 at AO3. If you want high quality fic with interesting characters, go read her stories. Some of my favorites of her fics are The Crouching Thing and My Constant Touchstone Who Makes Me A Whole Person (which are two very different stories!). Big thanks to Sarah Ellen for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

With today's binge-watching culture, I'm not at all surprised. You can watch a bunch of eps and then seek out fic that is where you are in the series.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

I took away a writer's group Yes, Virginia, that is still together. Mostly as friends, but whenever I write something, or someone else writes something, it's the first place we all run for machete beta. I have betad SO MANY novels.

We have a number of folks who are published writers since then and our time in X-Files fic brought us lifelong friendships IRL and made us all better at our craft. The majority of those folks were better writers than I am. And I make my living as a writer in my day-job.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I belonged to a couple of the largest lists and posted there and bitched about the show on usenet with everyone else. We had our own Yahoo group for beta. We all had crappy GeoCities websites that we programmed the HTML for ourselves and hooked through various fandom link circles to get traffic to our stories. But the main method of distribution was the lists.

Fun fact, I found a free page counter thing that I used at work one time through fandom. So fandom pays off in skillz.

Even without social media, we managed to get our stories in front of readers who would enjoy them. Where there's a will, there's always someone ready to step up and find a way.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Again, I have lifelong friends IRL that I got solely from fanfiction. That's the best takeaway.

Fandom disappointed me because it, like everything else, is ruined by people's egos, backstabbing, and petty people who get in positions of power and then use those positions to punch down or dictate. I was young when I was writing X-Files and I still had hope that people would rise to their better natures, so I got involved in various futile efforts to try to make people behave the way I wanted them to behave, I guess. I did a lot of public bitching that didn't serve me or my friends well. I now put that effort into politics, where it does actual good.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

X-files was made for me. It combined science fiction, mystery, horror. I love all of those genres. Plus there was Scully. No matter how sexist that writer's room was, Scully was awesome. But you kept seeing bad writing. Even in the heyday seasons, like Season 3, there were really terrible eps that made you want to fix things.

I'm a lifelong speculative fiction fan and a published feminist science fiction author. I actually was published before I fell down the fic hole. I got involved in fanfic due to getting my fantasy novel turned down from every major publisher for being "too dark". And I needed to get readers to see my stuff to prove to myself that I wasn't terrible at writing. I got a ton of feedback and it was like market research to see what people wanted to read.

My time in fanfiction made me 100% a better writer than I was.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I went to the X-Files Expo to see if I could make contact with someone from Harper Collins because the tie-in novels sucked so hard. I got rejected with my pitch as I didn't have a literary agent.

Around that time, a pal who I watched X-Files with IRL was looking for a free X-files wallpaper for her work computer when she found the website where fans in Pennsylvania had fic archived. She read some and wrote to me - "you need to see this, and you can do better." So I started reading and was.... I probably CAN do better. So I wrote The Batman Plot. And made two friends I'm still friends with with that one story.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Nonexistent. I couldn't even watch the latest season and I saw only 2 of season one of whatever that was before I gave up. I have never watched the second movie.

X-files is my first fandom bad ex-husband. I loved it SO MUCH, but it betrayed me.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I was deep into Harry Potter for a while, but I didn't end up publishing anything in it. All my stories were novel-length and I was writing so much for work, I never completed anything. I called Snape/Lily when Prisoner of Azkaban was published and got Jossed by Rowling in one of my big ideas. (This is bad fandom ex-husband 2. JKR will never get a dime of money from me again because of her hateful stance on transfolk. I have RL friends who are trans and NO.)

I wrote fic in Supernatural. It was the obvious next thing after X-Files. However, the misogyny and bringing in all the Angel/Devil Christofascist stuff lost me. The ep where they declared all other religions other than Christianity as invalid and killed a Hindu god made me stop watching for good. I know enough Christofascists IRL that I can't tolerate it in my fiction. (Bad fandom ex-husband 3)

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

This list is far too long to actually make. But characters I spent time writing about include: Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Co. (I wrote three unpublished Star Trek novels before I found online fandom). King Arthur and Morgan Le Fay, Sherlock Holmes (I wrote a Sherlock Holmes play after seeing "Crucifer of Blood" and entered it in a national competition, where I got very nice comments back.), Mulder, Scully and Krycek, Rowling's Hermione and Snape (like him or not, its masterful characterization), Dean and Sam Winchester, John Winchester and Bobby Singer. I wrote one comedy story starring Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A couple of Roswell stories under a different name. Catwoman and Batman. I have some unpublished Avengers fanfic lying around as I'm an OG Marvel fan with a massive comic collection.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I was on a business trip a few years ago and FX had a marathon and I watched part of it when I was in my hotel room. Early seasons are comforting, but I don't go back there now.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I don't read X-Files fic anymore. I read a tiny bit of Star Wars after the second movie because Rian Johnson had it right. Now I don't care. I love Mandalorian, but am content to watch.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Too many to count. All of YV. Which reminds me, I need to go update our entry at Fanlore. I promised Punk I'd do it a while back. I need to at least get everyone linked. Right now it's only Punk and Sab.

But it was a ton of us. Marasmus, Maria Nicole, Cofax, CazQ, M. Sebasky, Livia Balaban, Kelly Keil, Wen, Ropobop, Jess Mabe, JET, fialka, and a bunch of others that I can't remember their fic names any more, just their real names because I know them all IRL. I need to go back and look up their fic names and link them up there.

In addition to my little group of pals, I loved reading Mustang Sally and Rivka T, Rachel Anton - I keep trying to find her to encourage her to write romance if she's not doing it already, but no dice, Dasha K., Anjou, there were so many great ones, but their names have slipped my mind in the past 20 years.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I'm most known for Prone, and I'm proud of that story for all kinds of reasons, but I think my very best is The Crouching Thing.

I mostly didn't publish anything I didn't think was good and hadn't been machete betaed within an inch of its life, but I'm not sure much of the angsty romance stuff holds up as well. I think it worked when the show was still ON and we were all in that emotional headspace, but probably not now.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Funny you ask. I am currently reworking a plot idea I had for an X-Files fic into a contemporary M/M novel, which I will publish under a different pen-name. The plot is the idea I had for X-Files, the characters are very, very different other than one is uptight and the other more easy-going. But no more Mulder and Scully.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I have been making my living as a writer for 25 years. I write the word count equivalent of 5 Tolkein novels a year, just for my day-job. I am turning back to original fiction, which is where I was before X-Files. I'm working on the M/M thing, a high fantasy thing, a low fantasy historical thing and a bunch of M/F Regency romances as I get time and energy. I publish Fantasy and SF under my real name. Romance has pen names as you don't want that getting back to your workplace, either.

SEP is fic only and here she will stay.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I have too many ideas to count. I try to write them down when they come, so I won't forget. At least the outline of the idea. Often a scene. I've been like this my entire life. I started writing novels seriously at 15. I wrote a 500 plus page one about Morgan Le Fay during breaks in high school because "Mists of Avalon" pissed me off so bad as I'd read the original source material and that was a Wicca recruitment polemic.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Sarah Ellen was my great-grandma, Parsons was her grandma's last name.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Half my friends ARE fic friends. Most of my friends know as does my brother, who thinks writing for free is dumb. This is universally agreed on by non-fic friends who know. My mother still doesn't know about the fic. Just the "real" writing. I write under a pen name to keep it away from my job and my published work.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

My X-files stuff is up on Gossamer mostly. I'm trying to get the stories all moved to AO3 for all the genres. I'm working on this now. SEP is really not a living thing anymore, but there was a time when she was more me than me.

If you want to find my "real" non-fic writing, write to me at se_parsons at yahoo dot com and I will point you at it.

And PLEASE someone, hunt down Rachel Anton and get her writing something we all can BUY. Where are my old Krycek bitches at? Do any of you know where she is? [Lilydale note: I’ve tried contacting Rachel Anton for this Old School X project but have not had luck. I would love to find her too!]

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

The community I loved has mostly moved on, but I think we left a legacy of solid work crafted out of our love for the show. Find a living community you love for a show you love. There are great people out there creating and get involved. It will be worth it.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 15, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #sarah ellen parsons

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masonscig · 4 years

Text

attached series | part two: envy

pairing | mason x detective x felix [detective sofía olmos]

word count | 3.8k

tags | @choicesarehard ; @pixelsandkink ; @brightpinkpeppercorn ; @messofakind ; @raleiighcarrera ; @pixeljazzy ; @cellophanesheep ; @senatorraines ; @beccadavenport ; @wayhavenschronicles ; @hudush ; @pumpkinpeng ; @knightava ; @thebobbyfish ; @agentnate ; @admdmrtn ; @losingface (lmk if you want to be removed)

author’s note | omg i can’t tell you how much it’s meant to me that people liked the first part, as bare bones as it was since i didn’t really have an idea then but i definitely do now! i’m obsessed with writing felix AND mason so this has been soooo much fun. thank you if you’ve read this !!!! i hope you enjoy it :)

read on ao3

•─────────────────•

He strode down the hallway, hands in his pockets to give the illusion that he didn’t give a shit, when he was most definitely on edge. His fingers flicked his lighter open and closed against the twill lining of his pockets, trying to focus on the soft clicking noise it made instead of the swarm of thoughts clouding his conscience.

He still couldn’t figure out why he cared so much.

So what, she didn’t try to contact him the past week? He didn’t give a shit. He had bigger things to worry about.

Like his job. And the next piece of ass he was going to conquer.

He had an ample selection of people to choose from, inside the Agency and outside of it. All he had to do was pick his target, turn on a bit of his whorish charm, and – nine times out of ten – they were putty in his hands.

It was baffling to him that since meeting her, when he caught someone staring at him, the familiar glimmer of hunger in their eyes, he felt nothing.

Sofía had burrowed her way into his subconscious and wouldn’t get the fuck out no matter how many distractions he created for himself.

He rounded the corner, picking up speed to push through the large wooden door leading to the meeting area.

Despite everything, his pulse quickened at the thought of seeing her again. Not that he’d admit it, but he was… mildly excited.

––––

He plopped onto the cushiony sofa, swivelling so that he could lay back and prop his legs up on the arm rest, folding his arms behind his head.

“Am I doing the Ferris Bueller pose right?” He grinned, wiggling his ankles.

Nate sighed, pointing to his feet.

“Yeah, aren’t my new sneakers sick? I wanted the Marty McFly shoes but they were so expensive so Sofia helped me pick a knock off instead,” he beamed, extending his leg towards Nate. “Wanna touch ‘em?”

“Please get your feet off the couch, Felix,” he commanded gently, licking the tip of his finger to flip the worn page of his dense book.

“Awe, you’re no fun. If I put my feet on the ground, who’s gonna see ‘em?”

“This isn’t show-and-tell, Felix. This meeting has a purpose,” Adam said from the corner of the room, standing rigid against the wall.

“Every meeting is show-and-tell if you have something new, like my shoes,” he wiggled his brows, leaning forward to untie and retie his shoes for the hundredth time, trying to get the loops just right.

“Seems like you had a good time with Sofía yesterday,” Nate murmured, glancing over the cover of his book, a soft smile on his lips.

Felix’s grin stretched wider at the mention of the detective’s name.

He’d had more than a good time with Sofía at the mall. He’d had the best time.

They’d spent nearly the whole week together, binge watching films to cheer her up. He didn’t really have the attention span to watch movies, but sharing a blanket with her, fingers grazing when they both went for the kettle corn at the same time… it was straight out of a rom-com.

He didn’t really get the hype of kettle corn, but people were supposed to eat it to enjoy movies more… right? He could care less about how shitty it tasted as long as he could spend more time with her.

“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with me like… this for the past few days, but I really appreciate it,” she smiled, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’ve got to make it up to you somehow.”

“Hmm,” he mused, screwing his lips to the side of his face. “Nope. I’m just happy we’ve gotten to hang out. You’re always so busy!”

“You say that like you’re not a whole ass supernatural being that works for a secret agency,” she raised a brow at him, the smile still tugging at her lips.

“Touche, touche. I’ll give you that, human,” he said, pushing his brows together like he was trying to sound commanding.

“Oh, please, don’t give me that ‘human’ talk. You know you love our pop culture way too much to talk down to me like that,” she laughed, pretending to shove his shoulder.

“Yeah, I really do,” he laughed. “There’s so much I wanna do that I haven’t been able to with all of this ‘lay low’ shit. Sometimes it makes me wish I had a past human life I could remember like Nate or Adam, ya know?” He shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant, when it clearly was something that passed through his mind often.

She shifted on the couch, looking a little uncomfortable. Oh no, he thought. I should’ve just kept that in. There I go again, oversharing when I don’t even know if she cares –

“Is there anything I can do to help you with that?”

“Huh?” His focus was torn away from overthinking.

“If you’ve got a bucket list, I can try to help you check some things off,” she shrugged, tossing a few pieces of kettle corn into her mouth, crunching softly.

“What’s that?”

“Like, a list of things you wanna do before you die. Things you wanna do before you kick the bucket.”

“Well…” Felix trailed off, shrugging. “I don’t know why I’d kick a bucket, but I’m not dying anytime soon… or ever.”

Sofía snorted, the sound reverberating off of her apartment walls. “That’s an idiom, Felix.”

“Hey, you don’t have to call me names,” he pouted, brows furrowed.

An even louder laugh ripped from Sofía, her chest heaving as she cackled. “Felix – Felix, please –” She wiped the tears from her eyes, barely able to catch her breath.

He was a little upset at that.

He didn’t have a chance to learn all the stuff he wanted about humans. Nate really only taught him what he thought was important for Felix to know – boring things, like literature and etiquette.

She must’ve noticed him frowning, because her laughter tapered off, looking guilty as soon as she realized he didn’t get it.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I was just messing with you. You’re the funniest guy I know, seriously. And you don’t even try.”

A smile bloomed across his features, a warmth blanketing him, so comforting that he didn’t think the crisp fall wind could make him shiver.

She thought he was funny. The one thing he was good at without being taught.

“Thanks,” he murmured, looking away from her. Did he sense a blush coming on? Wow, that’s a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. But maybe not as of recently, since his cheeks burned around her way more than he’d like to admit.

“Well,” he said, after a brief silence. “I don’t really know where to start.”

She pushed her brows together, her glasses sliding down her nose, which she pushed back in place with a finger. “Hmm… is there anything from the movies we watched that excited you?”

He flipped through images in his brain, trying to pin down things he was drawn to from the movies they’d binged. His eyes lit up the moment he settled on an idea.

“I wanna go to the mall, you know, like in Chopping Mall, except we don’t get killed. I’ve never been to one before.”

Her eyes widened. “Seriously? You’ve never been? Like… ever?”

He shrugged. “I kinda had to stay inside until I learned, uh, what are they called?” He snapped his fingers, squeezing his eyes shut while he racked his brain for the phrase he couldn’t recall. “Social cues! Yeah I was terrible at that at the beginning. Couldn’t go two seconds without bringing up home and the fact that I’m… ya know.” He gestured to himself.

“A vampire?”

“I was gonna say devastatingly handsome, but that fits too,” he grinned as she playfully threw a piece of kettle corn at him.

His smile fell a bit. “I’m trying to make up for lost time.”

“You’ve got forever, right?” She asked hopefully.

He sighed. “Yeah, but when you’ve already missed so much of human history you kinda want to learn more. Nate and Adam and even Mason have cool stories that I can’t even compare to. I want that.”

He pretended not to see her flinch slightly at the mention of Mason. God, Felix, your one job was to distract her. Good work.

“Well, we’re just gonna have to make our own history, huh?” She said softly, gently placing her hand on his arm, a sweet smile on her face.

She was beautiful. He’d seen the movies – he knew exactly how he was supposed to feel when he saw the person he wanted. And for him, when he looked at her, the fireworks were firing off in the background.

He barely resisted the urge to reach out and touch her face. Just barely.

When they finally made it to the mall in the city, after pulling a Ferris Beullers’ (they lied to say they were going downtown to patrol when they were ditching), Felix practically skipped up and down the waxed linoleum flooring, in awe, like a child in a candy shop.

With comically large eyes, face pressed up against the window, he spotted the Marty McFly-esque sneakers and dragged Sofía inside.

So, the shoes meant a lot to him. A symbol of his favorite day in Wayhaven – well, technically outside of Wayhaven, but Adam didn’t need to know that.

“Yeah. I had a great time patrolling.”

––––

Mason pushed through the doors, barely acknowledging the rest of the team’s presence as he retreated to his usual corner, next to a one person armchair.

He tried drowning out Felix and Nate’s incessant chattering, the noise nagging at him like a toothache.

His hand reflexively reached for his back pocket, nearly about to grab a cigarette from the pack. Much to his annoyance, he was reminded that he’d left them in his room, since she was going to be there.

He settled for flicking the lighter again, lips curling into a sneer every time Felix laughed a little too loud.

His senses were suffering. His head was getting cloudier and cloudier with each passing second.

When the fuck was she gonna show?

Before he could leave to retrieve his cigarettes, Sofía shouldered her way through the heavy door, struggling a little beneath the weight, her bangs falling in front of her glasses.

She looked a little disheveled, like she’d just woken up, but not messy. She was well put together all the time, like every single item she wore was meticulously chosen; she made it look effortless, nevertheless.

It always made him proud of how quickly he could turn her into a writhing mess, and that he was the only one that saw that side of her.

He bit back a smirk, shifting his weight so his hip propped up against the arm of the chair, expecting her to plop next to him.

So when her hazel eyes focused on Felix first, he couldn’t help but grimace.

Her face lit up, and she rushed over to the sofa, passing Mason and Nate, while keeping her attention focused solely on Felix.

“You wore the shoes!” She grinned, dropping her bag on the floor next to the coffee table.

“Yeah, I’m just breaking them in,” he said, wiggling his feet, still splayed out on the couch.

She plopped onto his legs, making Felix laugh out loud. “Hey! Didn’t you tell me not to crease them?”

“Scoot over and I won’t,” she giggled as he lifted his legs dramatically one by one, grazing them over her ducked head.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her face. She was so… happy. A complete 180 from earlier that week. Not that he expected her to come in a blubbering mess but… something wasn’t right.

Since when did those two get so damn close?

The ache in his head dulled, his senses more manageable from the moment she walked in.

“Hey Nate. Adam. Mason,” she said, waving generally. To any other person who didn’t know Sofía, they’d think she was being friendly. But the millisecond of a pause before she said his name proved she was still upset with him.

Felix leaned in to say something, eyes wide with a grin to match, invading personal space like he normally did. It wouldn’t have bothered Mason, if he hadn’t noticed one thing.

Her heartbeat sped up.

––––

He slid his bookmark into the crease, carefully closing the book. He’d heard Rebecca drive up, so she’d walk in any second now.

Where Nate sat on the love seat in between Felix, Sofía and Mason, he could sense the tension hanging in the air like a shroud smoke.

Mason was nearly seething in his corner, eyes locked on Felix and Sofía like a cat with its back arched, visibly frustrated. Felix was either willfully or blissfully ignorant of Mason’s energy, while Sofía was wrapped in her own bubble with him, quiet laughs exchanged in the tiny space between them, the occasional word echoing off the brick walls.

Adam could tell, too. A single glance exchanged between them proved they both knew something was wrong.

Rebecca pushed her way through the door, quickly surveying the group before addressing everyone and moving on to explain their assignment.

“We’ve heard rumors of something lurking on the outskirts of Wayhaven, right at the edge of the town’s limits. Over the next week, you’ll need to split and patrol to confirm if it’s petty gossip, or something more.”

As soon as the last word was out of Rebecca’s mouth, Mason stormed towards the door, opening it with such force that it smacked the wall, cracking the wood, splintering against the brick.

Sofía flinched, eyes wide. Her posture deflated, like she was finally in a good mood that was ruined by Mason’s explosive behavior.

Nate grimaced, sensing the atmosphere shift from tense to dismal. Even Felix’s smile had faltered as he stared at the doorway Mason exited through.

Sofía’s pulse raced as she stared at her lap, absentmindedly twisting her rings around her fingers.

Rebecca sighed, cutting through the uncomfortable silence. “Sofía will need someone to accompany her, but the rest of you should be prepared to defend yourselves if needed.

“This is a relatively laid back assignment compared to what you’re used to, but I don’t want you to let your guards down. As we’ve seen before, anything can happen. You need to be prepared for the worst. Are there any questions?”

“Who’s going with Sofía?” Felix blurted, glancing back and forth between her and Rebecca.

“I’ll let you decide amongst yourselves,” she gestured at the remaining Unit Bravo members. “However, Sofía has the last word.”

In her own way, Rebecca was extending an olive branch, as miniscule as it was. Sofía hadn’t warmed up to her quite yet, but Nate was anxiously hoping he’d see their relationship blossom in his lifetime.

Rebecca glanced at Sofía, who was still wringing her hands together, half paying attention.

“Keep me updated,” she nodded curtly, glancing back and forth from Nate and Adam once.

“Of course, Agent Olmos,” Adam said, tipping his chin at her respectfully. As soon as Rebecca was out of the room, Sofía rose from her spot on the sofa.

“I… I have to get back to the station. I’ll get in touch with you after I’m off,” she murmured distractedly, tossing her bag over her shoulder and exiting before they could respond.

“I’ll go with Sofía,” Felix volunteered. “She’ll need someone to cheer her up while she’s out there.” He was clearly upset with how things played out, and Nate knew he needed to physically be there for her to comfort her – that’s the way he’d always been.

“I suppose,” Adam mused, rubbing a thoughtful hand against his chin. “We’ll be close by in case you need anything from us.”

“Watch out for her,” Nate warned gently, nodding towards Felix. “Adam and I will take the West and East borders of Wayhaven. You can take the South, near the entrance.”

“And Mason?” Felix asked, looking like he didn’t want to know the answer.

“He’ll take the North border. Alone,” Nate nodded. “I won’t tell him that you’re with her.”

Adam squinted. “I can’t guarantee that I won’t let it slip if he asks me.”

“Adam,” Nate sighed.

“I refuse to lie. If Mason asks me directly, I will let him know. Otherwise, you’re in the clear.”

Felix grimaced, pinching the strings at the hem of his scarf between his fingers, tugging at them absentmindedly. “Guess I gotta hope I’m lucky.”

Adam snorted. “Luck won’t help us if Mason finds out we kept this from him.”

––––

Sofía jogged down the hallway, shoving out the double doors towards her car.

Mason stood next to it, puffing a cigarette, arms crossed, looking absolutely volatile. Smoke curled around him like a warning sign, like his boiling blood was pushing steam out of his body. Don’t come closer, it said. She did anyway.

“What are you doing out here?” She sighed, shifting her purse on her shoulder, keys in hand. She’d slowed a few feet away from him, his back turned to her.

He didn’t answer her, nor look at her, eyes transfixed on the swaying trees on the edge of the woods.

“I don’t have time for this. I have to get back to the station.” She walked around him, refusing to look at his face, reaching out for the handle.

“You seemed to have a lot of time to waste back there,” he growled, stopping her in her tracks.

“Seriously?” She turned towards him, pushing her bangs out of her eyes. “What does that mean?”

“I’m not gonna spell it out for you, sweetheart,” he mumbled around the cigarette, pinched between his lips, set in a thin line.

“Why the fuck are you acting like this? And back there, too, in front of everybody. What’s your problem?” She asked, craning her neck forward.

“You could’ve at least tried to keep that shit to a bare minimum in a meeting.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about. You’re not dumb, detective,” he enunciated each syllable of her title, like it was an insult.

“Since when do you care about being ‘respectful’ in meetings?” She air quoted around the word, keys jangling from where they hung off of her thumb.

“I don’t.”

“Then why are you berating me right now, when I don’t even know what you think I did wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, insufferably, shrugging like he wasn’t making her crazy. God, Sofía normally wasn’t an angry type – but she was stubborn, and Mason knew exactly how to push her buttons. “Then why are you acting like a fucking child?” She asked, voice raised. Guilt set in after she heard her voice echo around her. Maybe it wasn’t the best move to argue with Mason when all of Unit Bravo could hear. He was silent. He took long, deep drags from the cigarette, pinched between his thumb and pointer finger. He let the smoke seep out his nose slowly, clouding his features. He inhaled one last time, flicking the bud onto the ground before he smashed it beneath his boot. He met her eyes, the grey of his iris nearly swirling like the stormy, tornadic clouds.

“Your heartbeat.”

He said it so low that she could barely understand it herself. Maybe he didn’t want the team to hear. Didn’t want Felix to hear.

“I literally can’t control my heartbeat, Mason.”

“It spiked… around him.” His eyes flickered away from her, towards the trees again.

“That’s what you’re mad about?” She huffed in disbelief.

Silence. “Well, can you stop acting like that? I’m not yours. You made that clear last week,” she rolled her eyes, unlocking her car, opening the door.

“Acting like what?” He challenged, nearly growling. He’d completely ignored anything beyond the initial question.

“Like you’re jealous,” she nearly spat, tongue flicking as she enunciated each word.

“I’m not fucking jealous.” His nose scrunched like he was holding back a snarl.

“Yeah, well your tantrum says otherwise. Stop acting like a baby. You’re too old for this.”

His eyes narrowed, and he stepped back, letting her slam her door. He turned and walked in without another glance.

She revved the engine and peeled away from the warehouse, expecting to feel a sense of triumph in having the last word, but nothing came. Just emptiness.

––––

A growl ripped from Mason as he paced around his room towards the door, dragging his laundry basket behind him.

For the millionth time, Felix tried pawning his responsibility off onto Mason by planting his harder to wash items at the bottom of his basket.

He didn’t want to learn how to wash a beanie or a scarf, so he pawned it off on the person down the hall.

Felix never pulled this shit with Nate, so why would he try it with Mason? It was beyond him.

Laundry basket grating on the ground behind him, sending electric shocks up his spine at the volume, Mason gritted his teeth, ready to fling his basket at Felix’s door, fully prepared for the plastic to shatter and rip into their clothes. But it was worth it.

Instead, he found the door ajar, the sickeningly bright tones of Felix’s room instantly giving him a headache.

Ugh. What the fuck was so great about the color yellow?

Adam had warned all of them to passcode lock their doors behind him no matter what, since they clearly only relied on themselves for security, being that their home base was in the center of the woods.

Mason dug through the basket, flinging shit into the room, strewing the bright socks, beanies, t-shirts, and scarves across the floor.

He still had a bone to pick with Felix, but at least he got most of his anger out of his system.

Right as he was about to leave, something next to the entrance of his room caught his attention.

The shoes Sofía bought Felix.

Crisp, clean, and begging to be tampered with.

He didn’t mull over the decision for long, grabbing the shoes by their laces and chunking them into his basket, covering them with a pair of jeans.

He grabbed the basket with the tips of his fingers, hoisting it over his back, strolling back towards his room with a slight pep in his step.

––––

#the wayhaven chronicles #twc #twc mason #felix hauville #agent m #agent f #twc fics #detective sofía olmos #hope yall enjoy part 2 !!!#pls lmk if u wanna be tagged/removed #my fic

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1279

Are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship or just friends? I don’t keep contact.

Has anyone ever pointed out that your laugh was unusual? Hmmmm, I don’t think so. I feel like that would be the type of comment that would get to me so I definitely would’ve remembered it.

Would you get a lip piercing? I don’t plan on getting any piercings.

Nose piercing? Nopes.

What are you currently waiting for? For this fucking day to end so I can be closer to Thursday and to the weekend.

Do you have feelings for anyone? Nah.

Have you ever run over an animal? Nope. I’ve had extremely close calls with animals who suddenly dart into the road, but fortunately these have all been situations wherein I got to hit the brakes with nobody behind me.

Have you chewed gum after someone else already has? That’s disgusting, no.

When people sneeze do you say ‘bless you’? Sure, out of habit and just to be polite.

When was the last time you were on a bouncy castle? I don’t think I’ve ever been on a bouncy castle, but I’ve been on a lot of bouncy other things haha, like inflatable slides, soccer balls, Anpanmans, etc. The last time would probably be a nearly a decade ago; I definitely haven’t been near one in a while.

Have you ever went on a bouncy castle whilst drunk? Well no, because the ones I’ve been on were situated in school fairs, which is the last place I would want to be drunk in.

Have you ever entered an art competition? No, I have no justification to join one haha.

What is one thing you will never do? Try hardcore drugs. < Same.

What is one food that you detest? Pineapples.

Did you have a rebellious phase growing up? Yeah I was a bit of a handful to raise, but I’m in firm in my stance that it had a lot to do with the way I was raised. I grew up mostly without a father figure because my dad worked abroad and I felt neglected by my mom who had her own shit to deal with. There was no stable support system to lean on, so I ended up lashing out a lot in my puberty years. Unfortunately everyone else just saw a rebellious child and not a plea for help.

These days when I show off my achievements on social media, I’ll see congratulatory comments from my mom’s friends and she’ll usually go on about some “late bloomers grow with time” narrative and it pisses me off because nobody knows how much I’ve had to grow and mature and learn how to be happier all by myself, all from scratch. If I had just received the proper care and attention early on, I wouldn’t have had to do any catching up to begin with.

What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic.

Are you still that religion? Jesus no. I darted out of there as soon as I gained the consciousness to think about these sorts of things.

Do you often find yourself questioning your future? Sometimes, but I do my best to not let it get to me.

How many friends do you have on Facebook? Over 670.

What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? I started with punk rock in the first half of high school, so I had my Rancids, H2Os, Against Me!s, Cro-Mags, etc on my iPod. It evolved a little bit towards more indie, folksy sounds towards the latter half - Banks, alt-J, Hozier, Twenty One Pilots - which I largely attribute to the crowd I was part of at the time.

What pet names do you use with your significant other? I’m pretty straightforward so baby works out for me. Other, more specific pet names just grow naturally with the relationship, I think.

What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries? S&R.

Have you ever seen a theatre show? Yeah. Most of them have been required.

What’s your favourite vegetable? Broccoli or bell peppers.

Have you ever missed a flight? Never. I’ve experienced several delayed flights, though, which is always such a hassle especially if the delays happen in provincial airports since they never have any recreational offers to keep passengers from getting bored other than TVs that run the same damn five ads.

Do your neighbours have any pets? Have you ever met them? Yeah, a lot of have dogs. I’ve met some.

What color is your bedroom door? Brown.

If you were ever to become famous, would you grow annoyed at fans? Only towards obsessive ones who wouldn’t give me time to breathe or would go so far so as to stalk me or my loved ones. But I am a fan too, so I imagine I would actually be understanding of those who would ask for pictures or whatever as long as they were polite and not at all intrusive.

Have you ever met your favourite band/singer? Nah. I am terrified of meeting celebrities HAHA so I’ve always shut down the chance. I’m pretty sure I would actually turn down the chance to meet BTS if I hypothetically suddenly got the magic keys to that door.

Are you embarrassed by any of the songs/singers/bands you like? No. I feel like that sort of thing just happens in like high school, when your friends are still a bit judgmental. Nowadays I don’t see why I should be embarrassed of anything I like, especially if it’s not hurting anyone.

Have you ever written a story? I’ve made attempts but was always terrible.

Think of the last poem you wrote: What inspired you to write it? My homework that required me to write said poem hahaha.

Do you have a chance with the person you like right now?

What’s the weirdest thing you were scared of as a child? Watching commercials at night. It’s still a slight fear of mine but it’s mostly dissipated now.

Are there any embarrassing stories your family tells about you? About me? No. I don’t have a lot of those since I was a really shy kid who barely moved a finger anyway.

In your opinion, what is the funniest TV show? I have a *really* soft spot for Perfect Strangers, which I actually revisited yesterday :) The show was never super popular so it’s near impossible to find clips online, but when I checked YouTube I did see a slight increase in short snippets from the show so I had a really fun time binge-watching yesterday.

What is the maximum number of children you’d ever have? Three, but that’s pushing it. Ideally, I’d have two so my first would have company.

Have you ever been concerned you had a serious illness? Mental ones, yes.

Are you comfortable with who you are? For the most part, yes.

Would you date someone even if you knew you’d get made fun of for it? No. Why would it be any of their business?

Does popularity matter to you at all? I mean, yeah in the sense that I honestly aspire to be well-liked by as many people as possible. But I don’t necessarily want to rub shoulders with popular kids.

Would you ever consider homeschooling your children? Continued from sometime this week ider. No. I don’t think I’m capable of teaching, and generally I’d want them to be able to learn in a more open environment where they can have regular contact with different kinds of people.

Who told you about the band/singer you are currently listening to? Well Angela got into them first and since we’re best friends, there was a certain point where she just decided to loop me into conversations that involved them. I was impossible to sway for a long time, but then one day a video compilation of them showed up on my feed, and for some reason I actually watched it, and I watched all the way through, and I was immediately intrigued – particularly by J-Hope haha. I then asked Angela to tell me more about them and the rest was...financially irresponsible history HAHAHAHA

Do you ever read fanfiction? OMG yes. Funny you should mention that because my favorite author uploaded a brand new fic this morning, which I obviously couldn’t get to all day because I had to go to work. I’ll be reading it in all its 44,000-word glory tonight :D

Would you rather die in a plane crash, ship wreck or fire? Plane crash. Instant and mostly painless.

What are your top five favourite TV shows? Breaking Bad, BoJack Horseman, Friends, The Crown even though I was never able to continue it since...andddd that’s all I got.

What is your favorite superhero movie? Not a fan of superhero movies.

If you died next week, what would be the cause of death? Stress from overworking. I’ve FINALLY started to consider taking a leave for the first time this year because I’ve just realized just how fucking exhausted, burned out, and overwhelmed I actually already am from having no rest at all in the last 13 months.

Have you ever taken a break from Facebook or other social media? Why? Yes, I do mass deactivations when I’m severely depressed. These days I can’t really afford to that anymore, though, since my work is closely tied to social media.

Who is the most talented person you know? Probably Andi.

Are you currently platonic friends with anyone you’ve had sex with? No.

Where did you and your current interest go on your first date?

Have you ever experienced two people fighting over you (physically or mentally)? What happened? Nah. I’ve had two people like me at the same time, but there was never any tension to watch out for since they mostly didn’t know each other.

Have your parents ever thought you were gay? What happened? I think they know I dated Gabie and that we broke up because they’ve stopped asking about her. Everyone knew we were best friends, so the fact that they’ve avoided her as a topic for a whole year is able to tell me something.

Are your parents more liberal or conservative? Dad’s on the liberal side, mom dances around on the spectrum a little bit. I know she’s fine with things like tattoos and having LGBTQ+ co-workers, but she’s also conservative especially towards matters like religion.

What year are you going into at the beginning of the next academic year? No longer in school.

How far away does your closest family member live? A few footsteps away.

If you’ve seen both, did you prefer the Disney version or the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland? It’s not my type of movie/genre to begin with.

Would you have sex before marriage? Why or why not? Yes. I don’t see the big deal; I’ve already done it anyway.

Are you more liberal or conservative? Liberal.

Who is your favorite Harry Potter character? Ooh not sure. I haven’t gone back to the books in a while, so I don’t remember if there was anyone I had an attachment to.

What’s the worst that could come out of letting gays marry? Nothing.

What’s the most sexual thing you’ve done? Had sex...I guess? And a bunch of stuff that comes with it.

Name something that you are against. Racial discrimination.

Why are you against it? Because it is infuriating to see, and it shows me the very same treatment can happen to me or my family as well and that scares me, especially since some people turn particularly violent towards people of color.

Have you ever played the Tomb Raider games? No.

Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy? I imagine I wouldn’t enjoy it if I’m not as into whoever my next partner would be.

Beatles or Rolling Stones? I don’t listen to either.

When was the last time you changed your opinion on somebody? Not so sure about a whole change in opinion because that hasn’t happened in a while, but I grew more grateful for my manager today because I finally mustered the strength to tell her that I’m begin to struggle mentally with work and she not only encouraged (read: begged) me to file a damn leave for once, but she also got sushi delivered to my place.

What was the last thing that made you feel proud and why? Andi was telling me about their day today and how they handled being misgendered by a prof, who then proceeded to throw a fit when he got corrected, and how they, again, maturely handled said fit. I was proud of them because there are a million ways that incident could’ve turned out, but they dealt with it in an extremely mature and calm manner considering they were the one who was wronged.

Do you feel uncomfortable when people you hardly know confide in you? If it was about an extremely personal problem I would probably be taken aback at first, but I still would definitely make some time for them and help in however way I can, since they apparently trust me enough to confide.

What was the last thing to fascinate you? The music video for My Universe! Super cool to watch and I love that they made a short film out of it too.

Is there a certain noise/sound which scares you? Doors being slammed shut, because that’s what my mom does when she’s furious. She did that when I was a kid and she does it to this day, so I get extremely nervous when I hear the sound, even if it happens by accident.

Do you have a favourite microorganism? Nope.

Out of the people you know, whose birthday is next? My cousin Bree.

If you have pet fish do you bother to name them? I did when I had them as a kid.

Do you keep your eggs in the fridge? Yes?

Have you ever owned chickens? Nope.

When did you last listen to music? Like five minutes ago. I tried to have a jazz playlist on but I realized I wasn’t in the mood for music so I changed my background noise to have a random VLive on instead.

#surveys #survey

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kirstinmaldonado · 4 years

Text

Chapter Two 2.0

Okay, I won’t lie. Monday was super rough for me.

The weekend was incredibly chill, so I was eager to get back in to my “normal” swing of things. I had a great Zoom songwriting session in the morning, and nothing else went wrong personally for the day, but I still couldn’t shake my sadness. My general unease about the world and how this virus is impacting so many everywhere. My homesickness and desire to be with and protect my family. My fight with time.

I FaceTimed my family and reached out to friends to feel connected and not so lost, even though not being with them or having any idea when I’d be able to go home was the main culprit. If something were to happen, would I be stuck here? What will I miss? How will this hold me back? When will it end?

I recognized that this emotional upset was pretty standard and completely fine— my first five days in quarantine were similar rollercoasters, after all!

But Monday just hit a little harder, maybe because I was trying NOT to be sad and we all know that always makes it so much worse.

My point though, is that no one expects you to be at a hundred percent in this time. We are getting new information every day. So much of it and how it affects your life or the people you care about can feel overwhelming, and that is okay. Take in the information. Implement the change you need. Grieve your losses. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Our mental health is so important right now.

While everything else is careening out of our control with this virus, the best we can do is try to self-care as much as possible!! That definition has many meanings and is individualized uniquely to you! It could be doing a hobby you didn’t often get to do before. Or walking around the block just to get out of the house for some fresh air! Maybe it’s re-organizing and tidying up your space. Maybe it’s working out to rile up those endorphins! Or learning something new!

Or maybe, that’s easier said than done because you’re one of the ones on the front line battling this with patients (and PATIENCE) every day.

If you are, I thank you. Truly, from every fiber of my being, for your selflessness and care. For your hours spent and devotion to the general public’s future. I wish we all could do more to assist, to ease your burden.

And can you believe all that has been asked of us is to stay home and lessen social contact as a united front? Aren’t we so spoiled?

Yes, most everyone is having to file for unemployment. Yes, some people are desperate for work to feed their families and provide for themselves, so they must leave the house to figure it out. Doctors, nurses, people with essential jobs are endangering themselves for us while we’re supposed to be home so maybe don’t fuss about how Runyon Canyon is closed so you can’t get your normal, free, SoCali workout. I don’t find that funny.

It is a privilege to get the chance to “stay at home,” even if it throws your finances in to chaos. It’s a privilege to have running water. It’s a privilege to have a roof over your head. It’s a privilege to rip the overgrown acrylic nails I got off my fingers because even though it’s omg, SO bad for my nails and I have no idea when a nail salon will ever be open again, I have respect for the system in place to stop the spread and protect the people.

(Please read that in a Scrubs Dr. Cox-like tone…it’s been my go-to quarantine binge watch)

Social distancing is incredibly important right now and can change the game with this. And again, if these incredible, selfless frontrunners go to work for us, the least we can do is stop being so selfish and stay home for them.

I wish I could take credit, but I liked the way that was said when I read it off a meme the other day. Naturally, I had to re-post.

As silly as that may seem, I’ve come to terms with the fact that cliche memes and coy tweets pretty much sum up my life right now. They’re either very relatable or packed with a fiery punch. My timeline is comprised of funny happenings related to being inside the house all day long, something about Disney/me crying (and yes, those things are synonymous), or passionate coronavirus-related rants about how people need to STAY. INSIDE (when you can). PLEASE!!

Like this one! I promise I’m done.

If I may, I’d like to ask everyone to comment what their favorite moment of discovery has been since we’ve been “safer at home.” Or what unexpected thing made you smile?

Did you get to share a unique and special moment with a family member? Bake? Find something you’ve been missing in the house? Paint? Read? Learn, even if it’s schoolwork?

With all the negativity floating around we have to make sure to separate the facts from our emotions so we can process everything adequately. When all the BLAH seems on the brink of toppling us over, that is when those liiiiiiittle positive moments matter enough to count.

I believe, now in this current situation and always, that recognizing your happinesses and little successes is crucial for personal growth and joy. Anyway, why wouldn’t you take all your lemons and make some lemonade?

(In this one the lemons are a positive…yeah, I know I’ll stick to blogs not philosophical quotes)

Anyway, I want you all to know you’re not alone. Everyone is riding this emotional rollercoaster together. And everyone is handling it differently because everyone’s situations are different! The way others are handling it does not have to be the way you handle it.

Check in on your family, or your friends. The ones you know are sad and the ones you think are doing okay. Hey, check in on YOU. Reach out when you need. Talk to someone for yourself, for your own sanity! It’s important to connect!

Any act of kindness or connection is so appreciated nowadays. We’re remembering how special human communication is and not to take it for granted.

I FaceTimed my family and friends Monday and their faces, their comfort brought me such bittersweet joy. I found myself wondering why I hadn’t picked up the phone sooner.

#blog 2.0

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dannypuro · 3 years

Note

So I just binged Something Telling and it’s just, so amazing? Like, your characterization is so on point and I just have nothing but nice things to say about it. Can I make a list? I’m gonna make one cause I have Emotions™️ about every one of these dweebs.

1. Grantaire is just, so nice and kind and smart, and not an alcoholic! Like, I love the fics where he deals with that, but it’s nice to see him being a semi-functional adult person. (Was he an alcoholic in this universe at one point?) Plus, he’s still enough of an emotional disaster otherwise. Love him ❤️

2. ENJ VS TECHNOLOGY. I could read about that forever. Swearing in an elevator? Iconic. Never using the space bar? Perfect. Also now I refer to movies as “movings” in my head so there’s that.

3. Combeferre is the sane man of this family and I love it so much. Also I never thought of vaccines for time travel AUs and I genuinely cackled when Ferre brought it up. Like, yeah, that’s a good point.

4. Jehan is always chaotic and I love them for it. Also, I know R doesn’t want to hear about it, but I absolutely want to know what their sex talk consisted of. I’m curious.

5. Baz and Feuilly. Yes. Good. Lovely boys. So glad they got their shit together.

6. “I am wanted by the government for high treason.” Honestly Enj has so many golden moments/lines. He is trying his best and I love him.

7. The PTSD our boy has and how he’ll have to work through it, but he has Friends and Boyfriend to help. (Side note: I live in the US, so I don’t know how much of a thing it might be in Paris, but do they set off a lot of fireworks on New Years? Cause I feel like that would be a thing that Enj would have to deal with, especially if no one tells him about it beforehand)

8. The research you would have had to do for this is just, incredible. And I think you captured how someone would really be if they just got yeeted into the future with no tech experience whatsoever. Like, I’ve been living here since 1994 and I’m overwhelmed by stuff sometimes.

9. Slightly unrelated but I also saw that you did the AU where Grantaire is a baker and Enj is totally not in the mafia (the name escapes me) and I also love that fic.

Hopefully that was somewhat coherent! Seriously though your work is great and I can’t wait for more!

(Also, if you want and it’s not a plot point of the next one, what is Enjolras’s reaction to musicals? I know the boy loves his opera, but someone had to have shown him something on YouTube and I just crave knowledge about this universe) Thanks! 🥰

GUH thank you!!!!!!! thank you thank you!!! and thank you for taking the time to make a list because i thrive off of validation alone and it made my day 🥺. SO.

grantaire is a total sweetheart. like, genuinely a nice person who is trying his best despite the fact that he has a hard time. baby. of course, the funniest part about him is the fact that he has NO idea that he’s actually just like... nice. he’s like... oh man it sure sucks that i’m the worst person possible to help someone in need... sucks that i’m the only one here... sorry dude i’m sorry i’m not combeferre... and then he proceeds to just like. make beef stew and be so careful and kind and thoughtful and try his very best and let enjolras go to sleep on his shoulder during a moving. like... sir. ok. also, yes, i tend to write him a little more... with his shit together, especially in this fic. you mentioned that you read And If I See You In The Daylight (the bakery fic)--i kind of wrote this assuming a similar character arc (minus the bakery, of course. like, grantaire used to be much, much more of a mess in a lot of ways, and drinking too much was a part of that, and he’s slowly been working on it. and now he’s 29, and he’s doing his best, and his friends love him. he’s doing a little better in this fic than in the bakery fic--maybe he’s a little older? maybe because combeferre is a little harsher than jbm and gets on his case when he starts to slip back into old habits? yeah.

ENJ VS TECHNOLOGY. sweetie. baby. the first time combeferre vacuums his apartment when enj is around he’s like “hey man, do you mind if i do the vacuuming?” and enj (has NO idea what that word is, is falling asleep while reading on the couch in the sun) is like “do what you will” and then ferre turns the vacuum on and enjy does that thing when a cat is startled and it jumps like three feet up in the air and puffs up like a squirrel. he’s awake now.

combeferre. baby. he’s genuinely, genuinely trying his best, but it’s fucking hard when you’re tired and overworked and also none of your friends use their brains more than 30% of the time and also your new best friend is a spiky little revolutionary from EIGHTEEN THIRTY TWO. so. um. he’s a little stressed. but he loves enjy so much and doesn’t even mind when he’s dramatic and annoying because he’s such a sweet dude and they’re FRIENDS. sometimes he comes home from a long day of work and enj has come over and washed all of his dishes and brought over takeout but also rearranged all of his books and also eaten like three mangoes. listen. friendship is about gently tormenting your BFF because you are COMFORTABLE AROUND EACH OTHER.

jehan. baby. instagram influencer supreme. i’ve gotten like a bazillion asks about their sex talk--i SWEAR i will write it eventually because the concept of it just cracks me up. jehan is like. “ok. enjy. tell me what you know about sex” and enj is like... “i understand that..... it occurs?” and jehan is like :^/ and enj is like “one must be careful not to contract syphilis from unseemly sources?” and jehan is like “TIme For A Conversation Before Grantaire Messes This Up”

baz and feuilly. babies. they’re just such a sweet, casual couple and they like each other so much. also, first date 3 am kebabs? after they FINALLY communicated? and then baz gets railed like he deserves? they deserve it.

enj has a secret little sense of humor and it’s just a little hidden by the fact that he is 1) repressed 2) awkward. but it’s there! he’s just so smart and secretly funny and grantaire thinks he’s fucking hilarious. except when he jokes about the fact that he’s technically dead. it makes grantaire sad. he’s like YOU’RE NOT DEAD THOUGH BABE YOU’RE EATING JAPCHAE RIGHT NOW and enj is like. “i believe that if you observe my wicky encyclopaedia you shall learn otherwise 🤷” and grantaire is like 😰BABE

yeah. yeah. listen. he’s got a lot of shit to deal with. it’s gonna take a while. like... that is some SERIOUS trauma, and he didn’t even have any time in his own century to process it. he went straight from a very violent event--LITERALLY about to be executed 😰--to being zapped to a time where he recognizes NOTHING. that... didn’t help. and he can’t really go to a therapist (which causes combeferre no shortage of distress) since like... he wouldn’t be able to explain anything about the barricades or the source of his trauma to begin with. so... yeah. but yes! he has friends and a boyfriend who love and support him so much! and it’s the framework he needs to begin to work through stuff at his own pace 🥺 (also, yes, fireworks are a big thing. they’re also big for the 14 juillet, which i... kind of forgot to address. i might go back and write a scene somewhere around ch. 5 for it and post it on here. we’ll see.)

i’m so glad you appreciated the research! 🥺🥺🥺 legit i... kind of spent a stupid amount of time on it. i really tried to make it as realistic as possible (barring, like, the whole time-zap thing, and also the whole “characters from les mis” thing) since the whole POINT is the differences between their two times, so... i’m glad it paid off. it means a lot to hear that u vibed with it.

thank you thank you! again-- And If I See You In The Daylight is the name of the bakery fic, and i also love it 🥺🥺🥺 . to everyone else... READ IT!

enjolras does not like musicals. like... yes, there was a natural progression from 20th century opera to early musicals, but enjolras missed all of that. and 21st century musicals are pretty fucking different from 1820s/30s opera. he can’t quite understand the music. the plotlines don’t make sense. the plots aren’t stupid enough for his taste. they take themselves too seriously. not enough miscommunication. orchestral parts not nice enough. cosette tries to show him a musical on youtube and enjy is like. who is that. why are they all dressed the same. what is going on. why do they not use their Pocket Fones? why does it sound like this. hellp. (she gives up and shows him a Puccini opera instead.)

anyways. THANK YOU! and to everyone else--send me asks! send me prompts! send me questions! i WILL respond to them and i treasure them all i just tend to be kind of slow! but i love to receive them! thank you!!!

#something telling #wholockiantabs

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harryskalechips · 4 years

Text

Too bad I’m attracted to you Part 2

A/n Hello I am back with this fat update. You know reading part 1 made me feel a bit bummy, I thougt it was poorly written. I hope this one isn’t as shitty. Anyways, enjoy today’s post has smut, fluff and a lot of angst hahaha

Part 1

Word count: 7336

2 years later.

Winter

“Large Iced Caramel coffee for Adeline!” The barista yells out in the busy coffee shop. I make my way through the busy crowd to pick up my order.

“Thank you.” I smile sweetly as I head straight out the door. Today was a busy day, I had just finished my 2nd lecture and I knew I had to make my way home now to study or else I’m going to fall back down in a rabbit hole of binge-watching my favourite show on Netflix.

I gather my phone and coffee in one hand as I rummage through my purse to find my keys to the apartment I lived in. I wouldn’t say I came from a rich family but my parents were hard workers who had very comfortable positions in their careers that they were able to get me an apartment near campus. The only con about this place? It was a constant reminder of the man who changed me.

He wasn’t able to help me move in here but he sure was with me when I first visited this empty place. He inspired me and helped me picture how this place would come alive. He left small details of himself everywhere in my life that it was hard to not notice them.

“Do you need a hand?” The soft brunette smiled at me as she watched me try to open the main door. I was guessing she was a visitor since she didn’t have a set of her own keys. I nod my head silently as she lets out a small laugh. She takes her hand out as I pass her my coffee and try to slip my phone in the backside of my jeans. I swiftly find my keys and open the door for us.

“Thank you!” I give her an embarrassed expression as she hands me back my coffee. “I’m sorry, I’ve opened the door many times this way I guess today was just not my luck.” She laughs and takes her purple beanie off and shoves it in her trench coat.

“It’s alright, my financé thinks he can multitask all the time too yet he’s only lucky once in a while.” I laugh at her comment out of politeness. Just as she mentioned her engagement, I noticed the simple diamond resting on her finger.

“So do you live here?” I ask to kill the awkward silence as we walk into the elevators.

“No, I’m actually just here to visit my friend.” I nod my head silently, waiting for the digits on the wall to reach 11.

“This is my floor, I got to go. It was nice meeting you though!” I wave at her as I walk out. She probably thought I was a teenager living with my parents considering how I was dressed. I had my own beanie on, with the maple leafs logo on the front. I had my dyed blonde hair in braids as I carried my thick tote with my laptop inside. I also forgot to mention how I was wearing my doc martens and my teddy coat. Yes, I definitely still dressed like a basic white girl.

Some days I feel lonely in the apartment when it’s late at night and I’m studying or if I want to watch a movie before bed. I try to talk to my friends as much as I can. My best friend from high school Mya was still my best friend but it’s hard to keep in contact with her when she’s at another university living her best life. I talk to Rachel and Sam but they’re both in and out of their houses and I only really get to catch up with them if we were in class or if we were studying together. It’s not like I’ve always been the type to be a social butterfly, I always preferred a tiny circle of company than a big one. Things did start to change however after I decided to cut the attachment I had with the man I once knew. I tried to numb the pain and isolation by going to parties. I tried hooking up with guys and I did but I know full well now that I regret it…. I regret everything.

Sometimes I wished I never asked the man for help, to be mentored. Maybe, I wouldn’t feel so fucked up as I am today.

After my relationship with him ended, I felt undesired as if I was unlovable. My parents didn’t notice a thing but my sister, Marla did. Coming home from his place that night made me scrub my skin in the shower until it was fiery red, until my body and my mind screamed at my heart to stop. I began to wonder about my last moments as a senior in high school.

Did I feel violated? No.

Did I feel regretful? Yes… no… I don’t know

Did I feel used? Yes. Definitely yes.

I know you can’t force one to love you the way you love them but that night when he told me he didn’t expect us to be together as I entered University, I knew I had to leave. Why? As a young naive teenager, I believed he was the one man in my life who would ever make me feel this way. Yet, all he did was fail me and show me that our relationship wasn’t worth jack shit. Funny thing was I had no clue that the girl I met in the foyer was going to link me back to him.

“Hi! Excuse me, I don’t know if you remember me?” The voice of a familiar girl calls out my attention as I enter the building. I stomp the snow off my boots to look at the girl. She was standing in front of the couches with the pretty abstract paintings on the wall. I walk over to her and smile as I take my left airpod out and put it back in its case.

“Yeah, I do what’s up?” She had an anxious look on her face. Should I keep talking to this girl or was it kind of suspicious how very approaching she was to others? She seems really nice though.

“I’m sorry to bother you but is there any way you can sit with me until my fiancé arrives to come and pick me up?” I give her a confused face. “Here sit down I’ll explain.” I take my tote off my shoulder and sit beside her.

The unnamed girl today was wearing a sleek leather jacket while I sat next to her in just my tights and my parka. “My name is Valerie by the way.”

“Adeline,” I reply back shortly.

“My fiancé has been calling me for hours and I thought I left my phone at my house so I never bothered to check my bag to see it in there. I stayed here at my friend’s place and my fiancé found out. Let’s just say he’s angry because he knows my friend here isn’t a good friend at most times to me.” As she continued to ramble on, I was so confused as to why this girl was in such a messy position. “Is there any way you can pretend to be my friend? I promise I have good intentions, I just don’t want my fiancé to know I was here with Kacey. That’s the friend I’m talking about.”

“Um, sure?” Her fiancé was mad about her hanging out with her friend? Seems like a bad fish that needs to be let back into the sea, in my opinion.

A familiar range rover pops in front of the glass doors at the same time I look up. I notice the unfamiliar guy barely parking his car as he tries to catch the door of the person who unlocked it to get in. He had a beanie on and the hood of his jacket was on, I couldn’t see what he looked like.

“Valerie.” The familiar voice called out, my ears perking up to the sound, knowing how I once was so in love with him. I used to remember the way he spoke and the way he sounded. I listened to it all year long.

He seemed angry as he marched his way in determination towards us. What the fuck did I get myself into? I keep my gaze on the floor as I watch Valerie in my peripheral view stand up to go hug him.

“I’m sorry honey, My friend Adeline and I went on a walk around the area, I left my phone in her apartment.” With that, I look up to see him as I catch him already looking at me.

It’s been two years and he looks so different. He seemed more broader now and he was growing a little scruff. He looked older yet he seemed to carry that aura that I once found security in. His arm was wrapped around Valerie as his other one just laid against the side of his body. I try to mask my face as I stand up to walk towards him. I give a fake smile and glance at Valerie… his fiancée

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Adeline.” He gulps and nods at me.

“I’m Harry.” He pauses and glances at Valerie. “How did you two meet?” I stand there, dumbfounded. Little did he know I was covering for his finacée.

“Adeline and I met down at the coffee shop a block from here!” Valerie interjects and moves her weight onto Harry. “Anyways, Adeline it was nice spending time with you and getting to know more about your brother in the military. I think Harry and I should get going though.” The humour in all of this was both Harry and I knew I didn’t have a brother. Just a sister.

Yeah Valerie, good luck digging yourself out of this one.

I nod my head silently and watch as they both walk out. He opened the door for her, the same like he used to do for me. I noticed how fidgety he became as if the anger he felt for Valerie was no longer important. I’m pretty sure he’ll deal with her lying another time. As he makes his way around the car, he glances once more time at me to see if I was still there. I was. He started the car and drove off in a flash leaving me alone with my heart beating so fast

In my apartment now rushing in without a care in the world, I toss my bag onto the floor and rummage through the drawer of my nightstand looking for my inhaler. Fuck, where was it! Freshman year of university was tough for me. I was going through a heartbreak, the anxiety of exams were weighing on me, and I couldn’t get myself to trust people after a long time. This time, I saw him again. What did I expect? I mean I live near him too. I’m just surprised that I never caught him in the local grocery store or something. Now? He’s engaged. My first love is engaged. He found someone to love and it wasn’t me!

As I continue to toss things out onto my bed, I find my inhaler in the depths of the drawer, I pull it out and without another second, I press the button letting the air blow into me. I sit on my bum and rests my back on the side of the bed, taking in deep breaths as I unzip my jacket. Why am I broken?

…

My buzzer wakes me up as I try to snuggle more into my white sheets. I wasn’t expecting anyone who could it be? Still dressed in my tights and a loose tee, I get up and press on the mic of the electronic pad.

“Hello?” I can’t help but yawn.

“It’s um Harry.” I pause for a moment to think. What is he doing here? We haven’t talked in 2 years but how does he remember which apartment I was in? Why is he here tonight?

“Yeah, What can I do for you?” my voice turned more cold.

“Can I come up and uh talk to you?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I rest my forehead on my wall.

“I have to talk to you.”

“You had 2 years to do that.” One part of me knew he wasn’t going to come up here but another part of me was begging to see him, that maybe I can get closure and move on with my life. He is engaged after all, it’s not like he’s here to seduce me.

“Adeline, please.” The softness in his voice made my mind go crazy. I remember the days when he used to use that tone with me all the time. How special I felt knowing none of my classmates knew that behind the teacher who gave us endless papers to write, there was a real softie, a real hopeless romantic.

“Alright, come up.” Without another moment, I cleaned up my tiny place as fast as I could. It was easy since I was pretty neat but tonight will be his first impression of me after 2 years. After fluffing my living room pillows, I sprint into my room to toss on a UFT sweater and brush my hair as I let it down from the messy bun it’s been in all day. The expected knocks scare me as I set my brush down and make my way to the front door. Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was just about 9 pm.

“Hey.” I smile softly as I open the door wider to let him in. Don’t show him how fucked up you are. My brain screams at me as I get a whiff of his cologne. It’s been two years and you don’t care about what happened! I try to chant to myself as I observe him looking around my apartment.

“Wow, your place is just what I’d expect it to be.” He unzips his jacket and rests on the futon beside my door.

“Yeah, would you like some tea? You can just sit on the couches.”

“Alright, thank you.” I move quickly into the kitchen making his tea, trying to ignore the feelings I have after making eye contact with him once again.

As I walked back into the living room, I noticed he was sitting while holding a frame of me with Rachel and Sam during orientation day. I place the tea on the coffee table in front of him and sit beside him, making sure to keep my distance.

“So orientation camp huh?” He smiles still looking at the picture.

“Yeah.” I smile as I look at it too. That smile was real, it was one of the first moments in my life where I didn’t care about what happened at the end of high school graduation. He sets the picture and mumbles a thank you while taking the blue clay mug and taking a sip of it.

“Still remember how I like it.” He compliments and sets the mug back down. “Did someone make this for you?” I glanced at the detail he was looking closely at. It had a handwritten sentence on it. The days have always been dark in our favour but I would change that for you.

“Yeah, my friend Chase did.” It was a gift he made me after I decided to cool down our friends with benefits status. He was willing to give me more but I wasn’t ready. I’m still not.

“He seems like a poet.'' The man bites his inner cheek and clenches his jaw, not too noticeable but I caught on.

“He has a way with words.” Not like you though, my mind had thought as I went through a mini flashback of listening to his love letter for me the first time.

It was summer and just as the days grew longer so did my time with Harry. Lying to my parents I was going to sleep over at Mya’s but instead I was at my teacher’s house. He seemed to be too focused on a letter he was writing while I laid on his couch playing a stupid game on my phone. His soft voice called me to get my attention.

“Baby,” He looks up to see me sprawled in my short shorts and a tank top. “I wrote a letter and I was wondering if you can tell me if it sounds good.”

“Who’s it for?” I sit up and toss my phone onto the couch as I make my way to sit in his lap.

“For you.” He holds onto me lovingly as he starts to read the letter. I close my eyes and rest my head on top of his, trying to remember this night.

“I’m sure you do too.” The man interrupts my thought as he looks at me. “How’s the university life, you’re in the second year right?”

“Yeah, two more and I’m out of school.” I shrug my shoulders and play with the split ends of my hair. “Still teaching at Clement’s?”

“Yeah. I'm not teaching English anymore though, I’m teaching history.”

“Oh, that’s something new. At least you get to use your history minor.” He laughs and shakes his head. I just began to observe what he was wearing. He was wearing a grey long sleeve and blue jeans. Guess some things stay the same.

“Valerie lied to me today. I came here because I wanted to know the truth before confronting her.”

“Ha-” I pause, he looks uncomfortable as I continue on. “Never knew you were the type to be possessive. You shouldn’t be like that, especially to your finacée.”

“You don’t understand, whatever she told you, I have a reason to act this way.”

“Why then?”

“First tell me why she was here.” Harry pleads. We both sit up more as I let him know.

“We met in the coffee shop and we became Fri-”

“Adeline, please tell me. Have you seen her in this building multiple times?” He asks as I can feel his frustration seeping through.

“Yes, why?”

“Fuck!” He mutters as he stands up abruptly. “Fuck!”

“Ha-... What’s wrong?!” He looks at me immediately as he sits back down beside me.

“You can’t say my name.” He calls me out. “Adeline, say my name!” I give him nothing but a blank look. He rubs his face in desperation.

“It doesn’t matter, I’m just petty. I don’t feel-”

“Why do women always lie to me!” Harry interrupts me. “Did I fuck you up so bad, you can’t even say my name?” He looks at me with tears in his eyes. “Please tell me.” I nod silently as he closes his eyes. “Feels like karma you know? After letting you go, I thought I would never be happy again until I met Valerie last year at a club.” He glances at me as I sit there quietly, letting him continue. “Want to know a funny thing? I caught her in this apartment two months ago sleeping with her ex-boyfriend. She had her locations on and when she called me, I was so confused so I searched for his name on the list downstairs. Stood outside for hours until she came out of his apartment with hickeys all over her.”

“I still don’t know why I asked her to marry me last month. She begged me to stay with her and I just thought that maybe we deserved each other because we both like to sabotage our own relationships.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper to him as I move forward to rub my palm on his back.

“She’s still cheating on me.”

“I know.” And without another moment, he turns towards me and hugs me into his arms. All the anger in me dissolving because of his story, because of this moment. “I’m sorry.”

Spring

The club was very busy tonight and after waiting in line to get in, all I wanted to do was go back out and probably sleep in my bed.

“So you couldn’t hang out with us yesterday because you and Harry had dinner?” Rachel asked me earlier while we were in line going in. All Rachel and Sam knew were that Harry was my ex-boyfriend and we dated for 6 months.

“Yeah.” They didn’t know that Harry and I have been spending a lot of time together after he ended his relationship with Valerie. Valerie didn’t know anything about us, which was nice. I didn’t want her to get angry at me but I also knew she deserved it. My newly formed friendship with Harry, however, as beneficial as it was strictly platonic. It’s been two months and I feel like my mental health has improved. Maybe if Harry decides to leave my life again, I’ll be okay. I also learned how to say his name again without feeling my heart hurt. The times now have been good, I’ve been good

“Still can’t understand how you felt so in love with him, only after dating for 6 months,” Sam called out as we entered the club. She didn’t know what Mya knew. I ended up telling her at the end of summer when the break up happened. Mya told me I was 100 percent reasonable because I was involved in a serious relationship for the first time in my life.

“Hey, that guy has been eyeing you for a while,” Rachel smirks at me as she points discreetly at the cute blonde guy glancing at me while talking to his friends. I make eye contact with him and smile. As the night was still young, he made his way over to me. After a few more drinks, I knew my mission was to bring him over to mine

...

As I wake up in my sheets alone, my head pounds making me groan. Sitting up, I noticed I was in the unnamed boy’s polo. After brushing my teeth and using the toilet in my ensuite, I headed out to realize the ruckus was coming from my living room.

“Good morning beautiful.” The blond boy smiles as he sits at the dining table eating breakfast take out. “Your friend is here by the way.” He nods his head to the kitchen. As I walk into the room, the tiles sting the bottom of my feet. There, I see a pissed Harry making tea.

“Hey.” I tuck my hair behind my ear as I’m surprised he’s here. He looks at me and passes the mug into my hand without another word. “Thanks. How did you get here?”He looks behind him to see the boy eating while watching something on his phone. The unnamed boy seemed to be around my age.

“Thought I would get us some breakfast since I hadn’t heard from you yesterday but Jamie here buzzed me in without a word. Came here then he took your breakfast so he could eat. You can have min-”

“Thanks.” I smile and take a sip of the tea. “I think he should go though I didn’t even know his name until you mentioned it.” Together, we walk out and I notice Jamie finishing his container or mine.

“Thanks, Henry! Breakfast was delicious.” Harry widens his eyes then nods quietly.

“Jamie, is it alright you leave now? Harry and I have somewhere to be.” I ask nicely as he stands up and cleans up after himself.

“Yeah angel, just let me get my shirt back then I’ll be out doing my walk of shame.” He smirks as he watches me. I glance at Harry who seems to be angry again.

After Jamie leaves and Harry and I sit together on my couch using two forks sharing his bacon and eggs, he speaks up. “So that’s what you were doing yesterday huh?”

“Yeah.” My cheeks flush as I purposely only eat the yolk of the eggs, knowing Harry hates that part.

“I know it’s not my business but do you have one night stands a lot?”

“Um. last year I only had three then Chase and I had benefits until this year, after that Jace… I mean Jamie has been the last one.”

“Oh.” He says silently. “That’s cool.”

“Don’t you have one night stands a lot?” I tease as I take a sip of his coffee since my mug is empty.

“You know I'm not really keen on those. Before you, I wasn’t really into it. After you, I fell into some deep hole so yeah I did. Valerie’s my last.” I nod and glance at the quiet TV. “You know the year when you left, I was a really mean teacher. Mrs. Raisell had to speak to me and ask me to pass all my students because ⅔ were failing.”

“Maybe they deserved to fail?” I shrug my shoulders and laugh.

“No, I was purposely marking hard.”

“Are you still hurt about Valerie?”

“If I’m being honest with you, I was waiting for something to break us up. I couldn’t imagine marrying her.”

“Why not?”

“Always pictured it would be you.”

Summer

Today was going to be my first day entering Harry’s house again. I was nervous but the thing that kept my spirits up was that I was going in with Harry and the broken part of me was fixed once again. To me, it didn’t matter that Harry broke me because he fixed it, at least I have his presence here again and I don’t feel lonely anymore.

“We’re here.” Harry smiles as he steps out to open my door. I glanced at his house that seemed to bring comfort to my heart as I saw Harry nod his head for me to follow him. After locking his car, we enter his house. It smelled the same and looked just a bit different. I noticed how there were fixed holes in the wall, some of his books were missing from the shelf, and he had new windows and a new TV.

“Did Valerie change some things around here while you guys were together?” I ask as I take off my shoes and sit with him in the living room. I used to remember staying in here and cuddling him. Sometimes, I would ask him to edit my essays. He would tell me all these tips but I would drown him out, pretending to listen yet my attention was on the TV show he was watching.

“Actually, No. Valerie and I were only together for 4 months plus we were never really here. We spent most of our time at hers.” He sits down and turns the TV on.

“What’s up with the holes and missing books in here.” He looks at the holes I was staring at. He lowers the volume and speaks to me.

“Mind if I get something upstairs.” And with that he sprinted upstairs, leaving me on the couch.

As he made his way back, he handed me a mini leather journal. It was a bit torn up but it seemed to be in good condition.

“Um,” he pauses as he sits down. He turns towards me and keeps his eye contact on the closed journal. “You can read that when you get home but I can tell you what happened here.” I nod my head and take the journal and hug it into my arms. “When you left, I uh... felt like that was a bad moment for me. I just- you know why we broke up. I just didn't expect you to love me.” he looks at me while I stare at him breathe a bit heavier. This was the closure I was asking for.

“Addy, I was so excited that night and when you told me you loved me, the insecurity I had for the past 9 months just buried me. I don’t know how to explain it. I just- I was scared you would take that back later when you realized how much potential you have and how you can have a better relationship with a boy that was going through the same stuff you were. I’m sorry.” He looks at me and bends down to wipe a tear down my face.

“I always thought about your parents’ reaction if they found out about us, I thought about your friends, I thought about my parents. It was so messy in my brain. Then when you left, I realized that I loved you too but you were gone in an instant. I got so angry at myself for letting fear take over me. So um I decided to punch the walls and throw my TV through a window. Decided to take each romance book out of my shelves and pour alcohol on them.” He laughs to himself. “I even remember crying so hard, trying to tear out the pages of my favourite book, you know a copy I gave you for Christmas. Anyways, I was really mad at myself that I didn’t try to get you back. I mean I took your senior year away from you. You should experience Uni and I guess that’s what made me decide to let you go.” I cry harder and look at the almost bookless shelves

“You fucking ruined me, Harry. I tried to have fun but all I was fucking looking for was something to numb the pain you left me!”

“I know baby and I’m sorry okay! I’m sorry for not being strong enough! I’m sorry for fucking doing that! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m fucking sorry!” He yelled as we both cried on his couch.

“I fucking loved you and you threw that back in my face. I rubbed my skin so hard that night when I left this fucking place. Do you understand that? I had- my skin peeling for days after trying to get you out of my skin, trying- to … rinse your.. Scent off m-”

“Baby, are you okay?” Harry’s eyes alarmed as he watched me hyperventilate. “Fuck, Addy, you don’t have asthma!” I grasp onto his shoulders as he quickly lets go of me and runs to his kitchen, as he walks back he has his own inhaler in his hands. “Here, it’s alright, baby. I’m here now, it’s okay.” As I take in a breath, I fall into his arms and hug him.

“I love you, Adeline. I love you. Two years or not, I don’t give a fuck. I love you.”

…

The night was quiet as we cuddled together on his couch. We were both speechless about what happened earlier and now we have been watching infomercials for the past hour. Harry was petting my hair as I laid on his chest playing with the journal he gave me. “Want me to read that for you. It’s just little lines I wrote about you.” I nod my head and he takes the journal into his hands. He soon began to read each page out loud. I closed my eyes on his chest, trying to remember this night. The same way I did when I first listened to him read out his love letter.

I know you were way too bright for me

I’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky

All the lights couldn’t put out the dark

Runnin’ through my heart

Don’t you call him “baby”

We’re not talking lately

Don’t you call him what you used to call me

Forget what I said

It’s not what I meant

And I can’t take it back, I can’t unpack the baggage you left

Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody

Fall

“Ahh, Harry let me down!” I scream as I feel his arms engulf me as he lifts me off my feet. “If I don’t unpack my things then I’m going back to mine!” I tease as he laughs putting me back down but not without stuffing his mouth in between my neck so he can leave kisses there.

“You can’t, you sold it already. You’re living here with me forever!” He murmurs against my jaw as he turns me around and leans me against his counter. “You’re here with me now.” He smiles as I kiss him on the nose.

After rekindling our relationship, I decided to sell the apartment and live with him since I’ve spent more time at his place than mine. When I told my parents about Harry, they were happy and they agreed with me moving out. Little did they know that I was dating Harry back when I was still his student but I think that’s a story for another time.

“Oh no, what did I sign up for! I’m living here with you… forever!” I pretend to sigh but he pinches my hips and lifts me onto his dark blue counter.

“Promise baby it won’t be too bad. We’ll redecorate the place just how you want it. We can spend so much more time together and… we can have sex anywhere you want.”

“Hm, I like that.” I kiss him on the lips as I wrap my arms around his neck.

“I know you do baby.” He laughs. He kisses me harder then pulls away. “Are you done unpacking your mugs or should I organize the bookshelves myself?” He smirks as he watches me pout. I tug on my pigtail and hop down the counter.

“I want to help you, of course!”

That night we spent hours reorganizing his book collection. I even added some of my own since I’m an English major too. The shelves that were once empty were now filled with many genres of books but I made sure that the majority of them were romance.

“Baby, are you almost finished?” I knock on Harry’s office as I see him marking his last stack of history papers.

“Mmm, I don’t think so.” He looks up at me and sighs as he glances back at the hill of papers that don’t seem to shrink.

“I was hoping you and I could spend some time tonight since I just finished my homework.” I walk inside the room and close the door. I make my way onto the couch that I’ve grown used to and sit down. Harry was wearing his glasses with his grey sweatpants and a plain white tee. I was wearing his polo and just my panties. Tonight though, no funny business. I’m here to keep him company yet let him focus on marking. “You know I took AP history, maybe I can help you with the marking like old times.” I lick my lips as he glances at me from the paper he was reading, he took a bit too long to respond since he was too focused.

“Yeah, alright, go grab a paper. The research question should revolve around world war 1 and Canada’s involvement.” With that, I took the paper from his stack and picked out a pen from his mug. I got him that for Teacher Appreciation Day when I was still his student.

A couple of hours after, I didn’t realize I fell asleep on his couch as I watched him finish the last few. All I remember is him carrying me to our bedroom.

“Oh, I’m sorry I fell asleep?” I yawn as I watch him beside me getting settled into bed. The fairy lights around our room set the vibe since I decided to hang them up because Christmas was just around the corner again. “You should’ve woke me up instead of carrying me to bed.” He looks at me and laughs, bending down to kiss my forehead.

“It’s okay baby, plus you could be awake and I’d still carry you to bed. Thank you for helping me mark tonight. It reminds me of the old times.” He hovers over me and intertwines both of our hands on either side of my face.

“It’s alright.” I smile as I watch his eyes look at me. “ You know I was thinking, if we don’t count the two-year break, we’ve been together for about 15 months.” He licks his lips and kisses me on the lips.

“Feels weird huh? Feel like I’ve known you forever.”

“Yeah, I think so too.” He kisses down my neck even though we both know we’re both very tired. “I love you,” I whisper.

“I love you so much more,” Harry whispers back as we finish the night with sloppy, slow sex.

Winter

“Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Harry, Happy birthday to you.” I sing softly as I carry a stack of pancakes with a lit candle on top. Harry was just waking up, surprised at the view of me in just his shirt. I carefully crawl on the bed so he can blow the candle out. He reaches out and closes his eyes for a moment before blowing the flame out.

“Thank you.” Harry murmurs as he comes closer to kiss me. “I love you, Addy.”

“I love you too.” I kiss him back. “Here’s your fork, let me just get your coffee downstairs!” I was just about to get out of bed but he holds onto my hand.

“Stay, I can get some coffee later.”Since it was a Saturday, we were very lucky to stay in bed and watch TV all morning. Harry was feeding me a couple of bites while I would let my fingers massage his scalp for hours.

“You know I don’t know how I got so whipped for you, Ms. Chastain.” He murmurs against my jaw after he sets the plate down on his nightstand. “Saw you standing there, the first day in class and I knew I just had to get to know you.” I laugh and sink myself more into the sheets so he can hover over me.

“You know I didn’t know we would get back together. Thought I would never see you again.” He rubs himself on me as I let my fingers graze over his newly shaved chin.

“Are you happy to be with me?” He asks seriously as he kisses my jaw.

“Mhm.” I moan.

“You love me yeah?”

“I do.” He looks up and smiles at me. He kisses my forehead then lifts up my (his) shirt off my stomach. “Harry.”

“I love you, Addy. So fucking much I do.” The wetness of his tongue teases my stomach as he makes his way back to the top of my chest so he can suck on my nipples. “So fucking beautiful you are.”

“Harry.” I pant as I watch him take a nipple into his warm mouth. His other hand playing with my panties and teasing my core.

“Can’t believe I let other guys touch you. You should’ve been mine only. To touch, to love on, to moan for.” He inserts his fingers in me as I scratch his back. “Moan for me baby, scream my name.”

“Daddy, fuck, oh my god. Faster please!” he gropes my boobs and slaps my wet pussy.

“Too bad I’m attracted to you yeah? Don’t give a fuck what you do, who you sleep with. I just want to love you all day long.” He whispers in my ear as I touch his hard dick and try to jerk him off too.

“Love you, you’re so big, daddy!” Without another moment, I come undone as he moans too at the sight of me. He takes my hands off his dick and teases my entrance a bit before putting it in.

“Remember that time I gagged you with your panties and blindfolded you with my tie.” I nodded. “Fucked you so hard and bent you over my desk that day. So difficult after you left me to mark homework on that desk. I couldn’t stop hearing your moans in my mind baby. You fucked me up so hard.” And with that, he thrust into me so fast as he reached forward to choke my neck.

“Daddy!” I open my eyes to see him, biting his lip watching himself fuck me hard.

“Open your eyes love, want you to see me tear you apart.” He helps me sit up and rests my back on the headboard as I watch him fuck me over and over again. “Fuck, don’t look at me like that, I might just have to turn you over right now and spank you.” He takes his thumb and puts it into my mouth so I can suck on it.

“Then turn me over daddy, spank me while I feel you in my stomach.” He bends down to kiss my lips and just as I was about to kiss him back he turns me over on all fours. Slapping my ass twice before putting himself back in me.

“So wet, baby.” He pulls my hair out of my face as he thrusts faster. I clench my fingers around our pillows, trying to also hold onto the headboard. “You fucking like that when I fuck you hard? Such a slut for my cock baby. So wet, you’re fucking leaking for me.” He teases his finger around my other whole. “Look at this one, I might have to try and give this one attention next time what do you think?” As I moan, attempting to reply he cuts me off, “Maybe now is a good time.” He spits onto the hole, teasing his finger around it. “Are you okay with this Addy, do you like how it feels?”

“Mhm.” Harry pulls onto my hair a bit harsher.

“Answer me correctly, say it properly. Let daddy know.”

“Yes!” He slips his thumb into my now wet hole as he fucks me faster.

“Fuck, I wanna put a baby in you so bad baby.”

“Put one in then.” I moan and reach down to rub my clit.

“Get off birth control and I won’t doubt for a second to put one in.” He grits his teeth and flips us over so I’m riding him. “Be a good girl, show me how good you are.” He whispers and slaps my butt. I watch his face turn into pleasure as I roll my hips onto his, trying my best to fuck him well. My moans were seemingly uncontrollable as I feel him deep in my stomach.

“Come for me daddy please fill me up!” I whine and without another second, we come together. Harry reaches quickly for my neck, choking me as he thrusts his hips upwards. His seed fills me up as I un slide myself off him and reach down to taste us. He watches me with a smirk as I lay back down beside him. I feel him move his arm underneath me, as he searches for something. As I lay beside him looking at the ceiling, I watch his hand open a black velvet box in front of me.

“Harry,” I whisper, turning to look at him.

“I know it’s my birthday but the only wish I had in mind was if you said yes to the question I’m about to ask you.” He sits up a bit as I mimic his position.

“Adeline Chastain, I knew you ever since you were 18 and I’ve loved you ever since then. You would make me the happiest man in the world if you would marry me?” I watch him as we both cry so happily together.

“Yes, Harry, I will!” He takes the pear-shaped diamond engagement ring and slides it onto my finger. He kisses me softly as his fingers touch the necklace he bought me for graduation.

“I’m very much in love with you and I promise to take care of your heart, to protect you, and make you the happiest woman in my life.” and with that we kissed again, leading us to the never-ending hours of activities in the bed.

When I was 18, I was naive. I thought Harry would be the only man in my life who would ever make me feel this way.

And I was right.

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