#It’s so unfair that last season we didn’t get her in promo because her appearance was a secret

[sylvies-kablooie]

sophia posting her TVA mug and the song from the episode’s end credits… disney better wrap this strike shit up soon because she clearly wants to talk about this project!!!! and she deserves to!!! she barely got to for s1!!!! disney i am inside of ur walls!!!

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: Woo-oo! Review! or From the Top

Hello all you happy people! And to those of you just joining this blog, welcome I review ducks, other animated shows and comics... and today’s review is special for me. For a number of reasons. For starters it’s a reminder how far i’ve come. See I always wanted to be a reviewer, ever since high school when a friend showed me a certain online reviewer whose now dead to me, and opened me up to a world of much better reviewers who i’m still fans of to this day, and ones who came after them , and after that and so on and so on. I so badly wanted a community to belong to I struggled to be a youtube reviewer but frankly lacked the talent or self confidence back then to try, so my attempts over the decade were a series of stops and starts. Of me starting to find my niche writing only to stop because I hated myself so much, and still struggle with that, i’d tell myself I could never do it, I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t funny enough and no one cared. I kept shutting myself down AGAIN AND AGAIN, for far too long. 

But that all changed a year ago next month: I’d long been a fan of the Ducktales Reboot. I was caustiously optimistic when it was announced. The optimism came from a deep abiding love of scrooge as a character despite not having dove into his comics that deep, I didn’t have an easy way at the time, thanks to life and times and what comics I had read, and was excited to see a fresh reboot closer to the comics with my eternal boy Donald Duck back in the main character. The caution.. came from the fact that at the time we’d gotten a string of bad to medicore reboots: Teen Titans GO, Powerpuff Girl, and Ben 10 which started pretty meh but has turned into alirght from some of the later episodes I saw. I wanted to be hyped to all hell but I had no proof this wasn’t going to be another dumbed down reboot. Then comic con came, the first teaser poster dropped, and my skepticism died.

It was perfect: a barksian art style with it’s own twists! Donald full on display! And best of all the triplets FINALLY had not only unique outfits but personalities! I’ve long went on in my reviews about how much that annoyed me and while it worked for the barks comics ever since then it’s just felt like a waste to have three characters there.. and not even the SLIGHTEST difference. 

My anticipation only grew with the full trailer, the promo posters as more and more info showed how good this series would be, how unique it’d be, and how much tw as taking what made the comics great, giving us a better distalation of that while still being very much it’s own beast. And once this episode dropped.. that faith was unfounded. Woo-oo! is without hyperbole, one of the best pilots i’ve seen, one that introduced the entire main cast perfectly, gets the series tone and mission statment out just right and in general set the stage for one of the best shows of the 2010′s (and 2020′s, even if it only lasted a year and some change). Wheras Teen Titans GO actively tried to take a dump on it’s source material, they thankfully have stopped that but it dosent’ make those early years any less grating, Ducktales was a breath of fresh air that honored the past while making i’ts own future. I tried talking about it but it was all in other failed attempts at reviewing: solo podcasts, my breif second video review career.. stuff no one rightly cared about and I just couldn’t get the hang of. 

So this is where we loop back to last year: I decided to finally try and cover it one more time, not realizing this would be my last chance as it came out anyway, and since I was doing text reviews but my output had slid in the new year, I decided to review Season 3 as it came out. If it bottomed out I could always stop.... and I just never did. I kept going, eventually finding new fans, a patreon (The other one’s an old friend of mine), and not only got paid doing what I love.. but found some peace.  I reviewed other shows as they came out, covered things i’d wanted to cover for years like life and times, scott pilgrim and x-men,. I covered other shows as they came out, found people willing to talk over my opinions and found my niche at long last. 

So that’s why the long speech folks: After almost a year of reviewing i’m properly covering the start of something that made me happier than I had been in a long time and gave me hope during one of the worst periods of ALL our lives. Something i’ve wanted to cover since I finally got started last year, and something truly amazing. So i’d be honored if you’d join me under the cut as I talk about the genesis of one of the best series Disney has ever put out. 

Behind the Scenes Stuff:  Most details I could find were sparse. it took going back to the first month the show came out and looking at a LOT of unrelated questions to finally find out Frank and Matt outright pitched the show. This dosen’t suprise me as both are huge ducktales fans with Matt having drawn his own duck comics as a kid and Frank taking it an extra mile having sang the theme song in his first grade talent show, worked it into his vows and got his first daughter’s first word to be “Woo-oo”. It’s very clear this show as a labor of love for them something they dreamed of Disney made possible. 

Otherwise I don’t have much on the genisis of the show: It was in the earliest ideas going to be a revivial but Frank and Matt both decided against it , deciding it’d be unfair to expect kids from 30 years after the original to know the source material, and instead just starting it over outright, which was the right call especailly with Alan Young’s passing. 

Design wise I found quite a bit of concept art thanks to one website, and it’s incredibly intresting. This is why i’ve really gotten into art books: I like seeing this early stuff what characters used to be, figuring out or outright hearing from the creators mouths why they changed it that sort of thing. 

Starting off we have some early designs for Donald, with him wearing the sailor suit as a kid but his Quackshot outfit as an adult, something I honestly wish they’d kept but get why they changed it: The iconic sailor suit both helps contrast him with della and fits his reluctance to adventure in season 1 more. I still wish that they worked the Quackshot outfit in somewhere, but they worked in so damn much, it’s hard to complain> Though I probably will make a list of “things I wished they’d worked” in at some point and i’d be lying inf I siad my mind wasn’t currently turning the gears to figure out how to work this into a fanfic. Oohhh maybe as Dewey’s outfit as an adult but blue, obviously. 

Next we have Donald settled more into his final apperance as well as the boy’s first outfits.  As you can tell from both of these the show originally went more with the classic art style before getting the one we’re familiar with now, one I love by the way and was made to combine a classic cartoon style with the visual of the comics. Donald originally had his classic outfit before they transitioned to the more barks style one, a good call.  

The interesting bit though is obviously the boys original outfits which i’m honestly bummed didn’t make it for Huey and Louie, not so much Dewey minus the visor. I do get the changes though: The hoodie Dewey had fit WAY beter on Louie, and the lumberjack shirt didn’t quite fit the nerdier huey. Still look nice. Dewey’s is okay, but only the visor is something I really gregret them removing same with louie’s fedora. It would’ve been neat ot keep the hat thing, but have each hat be unique. Likely they simplified things to make animation easier and simply removed the hats for some reason, but it’s nice ot see these more detailed original drafts and it is VERY interesting to find that differentiating the triplets was something planned from the earliest concept art. Though given Matt and Frank said in interviews they wanted a more natural family feel, it’s not a huge surprise. 

Scrooge like everyone BUT the boys thus far, naturally also had his original outfit at first, but like he ended up doing in the series rotated a bit, if not as much in the final product. We also see a protoype for his final design, the old coat but with a jacket over it in the last image. I also notice Donald seemed a lot more like his old comics self in the concept art with quackshot!donald. 

Like everyone else, Webby and Launchapd were originally their 87 deisgns, though Launchpad’s slightly diffrent jacket and green scarf were changed from the start. Webby is the closest to her 87 design, and as shown in the previous Lena concept art from my “Spies Like Us and Dime after Dime” double feature, she still had her new personality. More on that in a bit. 

Finally we have Flintheart, whose design is a bit diffrent from 87: He was a chub from day one it appears, though they’d exagerate it, and his beard was a bit longer at first like his other incarnations. 

Beakly is largely unchanged form 87, only given a coat, which would gradually be mofidied, much liekt he boys into her current outfit. 

As you can tell Beakly, Webby and Launchpad were all there from day one as they wanted them from the original ducktales just updated. 

Production wise they wanted to go handrawn, chose the style they did to have something close to the comics that felt classicly aniamteda t the same time, I feel they succeeded and wanted a show that felt like the original. I do think this show has it’s own feel but it does feel ducktales. I badly hope for an artbook at some point though as this show probably hada  LOT more intresting concept art. Seriously Disney I will PAY YOU to look at your neat art. Please. 

So they created a fully formed world and put the characters in it, wanting it to feel like the world had existed before and had throughly been explored and letting our young heroes be the watson to Donald and Scrooge’s holmes. 

Finally Della was indeed part of the initial pitch and a core idea from day one as every family has secrets and Della felt like one that had been lurking around the fringes of the story for 80 years. The rest of the production stuff i’ll weave in as we go but first one last stop, the STELLAR voice cast, none of whom outsideo f Tony i’ve talked about before sooooo...

The All Star Cast

The casting was outstanding here, with Matt admitting the cast brought a LOT to the characters, especially Ben Schwartz whose taken on Dewey was so unique and intresting they actually rewrote some of his dialouge for the pilot to fit this version better. This is far and away one of the best casts in western animation, most coming from comedy backgrounds and one or two coming from a voice acting background, but all bringing their absolute best. And since our main 8 are all in the pilot let’s run them down along with Keith Ferguson shall we?

Playing everyone’s faviorite billionare scotsman  and one of the very few to ever do so, we have David Fucking Tennant. David was their “First and only choice” and for good reason: David is a talented actor with a MASSIVE amount of stage, tv and audio drama credits. His biggest and best known role is playing the 10th Doctor on Doctor Who, which while not my faviorite (That’d be matt smith, as he’s both the one I came in on and hte one who got me hooked) he’s still  VERY close second and damn talented and I need to watch more of his tenure. Outside of that just to condense it to his ongoing roles on stuff and bigger roles: Filmwise he’s had starring roles in the Fright Night remake, You, Me and Him, Fish Without Bicycles and Bad Samartains, and is set to do a voice for the upcoming Loud House Movie, which excites me to no end. 

TV wise where most of his roles have been he got his first big starring role on the Telly with the BBC Mini series Taking Over the Asylum in the late 90′s. He’d go on to make a career out of doing mini’s for a while, also taking part in He Knew He Was Right, The Quatermass Experiment Remake, Casanova, Secret Smile.. and Blackpool. I saved Blackpool for last before we move into the Who era as if you’ve never heard of it.. it’s REALY fucking weird. It’s a jukebox musical about a man who wants to make Blackpool, a real city, into the new vegas and Tennat plays a cop investigating a case around the guy and also trying to get with his wife because they used to date and because our lead is philandering jackass. That’s already kinda nuts.. but then you get to the fact the songs are sung OVER the original songs instead of making a new version of them. It’s surreal to be sure but if you can find it it’s worth it for the handful of good numbers and how weird it looks and you can find clips of the songs on youtube if your intrested. Here’s a starter. 

Your also welcome. He’d go on to play Detective Alec Hardy in Broadchurch to critical aclaim as well as be a part of it’s short lived american remake, would play the Fugitoid in tmnt 2007, Kilgrave in Jessica Jones, one of his few post who roles i’ve seen or heard besides Scrooge and easily some of his best work he NAILS that purple bastard perfectly, would make his own show Staged about a fictional version of himself putting on a Stage play that’s still ongoing, and is currently , along with Ducktales as it wraps up, the voice of Lord Commander on Final Space, with the character returning this season judging by the trailers to fan delight and terror. He’s a VERY talented actor and voice actor and I do hope he goes on to do more and more voice work in years to come as, with his background in radio, he was born for it. 

He was also born for this roll, playing Scrooge perfectly and easily matching Alan Young in quality, not a small feat and i’ts VERY obvious why he was their one and only choice. 

Next up is another legend, Tony Anselmo who we’ve talked about before when I covered legend of the Three Cablleros: He’s been Donald’s voice since shortly before Ducktales, hasn’t done much else but given he’s THE voice for the character and this show let him show off one hell of a range with teh voice, he dosen’t really need other credits. The man is a treasure and I fear loosing him one day and fear for whoever replaces him as they have a LOT to live up to. 

Getting into the triplets, we’re going by age so starting off we have Huey, voiced by Danny Pudi. Like most of this cast aside from Toks Ogladyve and Beck Bennet (Who I probably HAD seen on SNL but didn’t really know or look out for him on there till after Ducktales), I not only knew Danny but was a huge fan of his going in. This is due to his breakout role on the glorious sitcom Community, which sadly only had a handful of i’ts cast show up on this show. I mean you got Lin Manuel Miranda I’m sure Donald Glover would’ve said yes too. He grew up with Ducktales. Regardless his role as meta guy Abed was easily the best of the cast on that show, with Glover as troy a very close second and the two working at their best as a duo. Outside of that he’s had a few roles being a regular on Powerless, which I forgot existed and currently on Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet, and shockingly hasn’t done a ton of voice work. And given his performance as huey was one of the best parts of this show he REALLY, REALLY SHOULD. Please Danny. He’s also a loving husband, father and surprisingly a marathon runner. Never would’ve guessed.

Next up is SNL Alumn of 9 years, Bobby Monynihan. Bobby is naturally best known for that, my faviorite role of his being Ass Dan. That’s right bitch you know he’s going to live fore..

ASS DAN 1981-2021

He’ll be back. Outside of SNL he’s done a bunch of minor roles. He’s currently on the tragically mediocre sitcom Mr. Mayor, and voiced Panda on We Bare Bears. Hopefully he keeps up the good work as he deserves better than he’s gotten and Ducktales proves it. 

Finally for the triplets we have a rising star in voice acting, Ben Schrwartz. At the time Ducktales launched, I was a fan of his from his roll on parks and Rec as Jen Ralphio, aka older scummier Dewey. 

Outside of his historic recurring role here he played a main role on House of Lies, a show I need to go back to, and has done other live action rolls but has REALLY hit his stride in voice acting. He started with voicing Randy Cunningham in Randy Cunningham 9th grade ninja and since then has hit the ground running: He was Rutabega on Bojack, Josh on Bob’s Burgers, and went on to complete the trifecta of blue nostalgic characters after voicing dewey by voicing Leo in Rise of the TMNT (and having one of the most unique and intresting versions of the character to play) and reprised the roll for the upcoming film. And of course he hit it HUGE by playing Sonic in the suprsingly fantastic Sonic the Hedgehog movie, and will do so again for the sequel and might even take up the roll for the games now Roger Craig Smith has retired. We shall see. Point is this guy’s at the top of his game and Dewey is part of that. Like with his brothers I can’t picture anyone else playing him. 

Rounding out the kids is Webby, played by the wonderous Kate Micucci. Kate is a lovely talented woman who mostly showed up in smaller parts, was part of the musical duo garfunkel and oates which even got their own tv show, and is currently a fairly prolific voice actor with this being her best known roll. I also had a bit of a crush on her once can you tell? Regardless besides absolutely nailing it as Webby she’s voiced Julie Kane in the crimnally short and even more crimnally not on Disney+ Motorcity, “Irma” in the 2012 TMNT cartoon, and the fact that “Irma” is in quotes should tell you how big a waste I felt it was having her NOT actually be Irma, despite Kate’s massive talent, the fact that Irma hadn’t been in anything since the 87 cartoon, and the fact that for added “Fuck you audience points” her krang form was voiced by Gilbert Godfried, who I love but whose casting feels like they wanted to make the twist as grating as possible. Good job there. 

Anyways her second biggest voice gig was as Sadie on Steven Universe, which took WAY too long to show off her absolutely tremendous singing voice. She started voicing Velma Dinkley in the mid-2010′s and has since, voiced Milo’s sister Sarah on Milo Murphy’s Law, Dr. Fox on Unikitty, and most recently voiced a sentient present on close enough who did this. 

So yeah quite the career and like Ben she probably has a long and storied career in Voice Acting ahead. 

Next up is Beck Bennet as everyone’s friend Launchpad where he excels. He’s best known as a castmember on SNL outside of this, and shockingly hasn’t done a ton of voice work. The only other time i’ve caught him is in the same season of Close Enough as Luc, aka dude-bro satan. But like eveyrone else here who hasn’t done a lot of voice work so far or has been more selective I defintely hope he keeps going with it as he’s amazing. He and Ben will be co-starring on MODOK in May so i’m excited for that. 

Last up for the main cast is Beakly, voiced by  Toks Olagundoye, who I hadn’t heard of before this show and hasn’t done a lot outside of the two season sitcom the neighbors, the aliens one not the really terrible looking one, and a stint on Castle, but like everyone here deserves much more and if Beakly is any indication, really should stick with voice acting. 

Last up is Keith Ferguson as only he could as FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD, whose a staple in the voice acting community ever since 2000, and has had a TON of roles some of which I was unaware with him. Given Frank worked with him on Wonder Over Yonder, where he voiced Lord Hater to perfection, the two clearly have a close working relationship. He also has a close working relationship with Wonder creator Craig McCracken and has worked on all of his post-powerpuff girls show, voicing Bloo as his first major role, something I never would’ve guessed, and currently voicing Papa G on Kid Cosmic. 

Outside of Craig and Frank, he played both Karate Kid and Nemisis Kid on Legion of Super Heroes (Which really needs to come to HBO Max), Deputy Durland on Gravity Falls,  and Thunderbolt Ross on Avengers Earth’s Mighteist Heroes. He’s damn good and deserves the world for Glomgold alone and i’m glad Craig rung him up again as so far through my watch of Kid Cosmic he’s great. 

So with our cast in place, our past in place and you all likely ready to get on with it already let’s dive into the episode:

THE EPISODE: Part one Woo-Ooo!

We begin with a shot of a seagull flying overseagulls, a nice way to establish how this world works and how it bends expectations. They’d have to wait till season 3 to get a duck next to ducks but given that gag is one of the best of the series, it was worth it. 

Inside a house boat we meet Donald, Huey and Louie and get a sense of their personalities: Donald is panicked trying to get to a job interview and insists the boys wear life vests, showing his overprotectiveness and responsibility exclusive to this version. Louie stresses that Donald wear a suit instead of his normal clothes to properly impress the interviewer, showing his skill at people reading and manipulation, and Huey is making a nice, if messy, breakfast with a heartwarming message showing his heart and dedication. After finding out said Babysitter was sent to the wrong address, the boys TRY to hustle him out to stay alone.. only for Dewey to blow the scheme by starting the boat too early, letting Donald know he’s been had. Huey’s attempt to lie about it is of course the classic “Who’s Dewey?” Dewey’s caught wiring the boat and Donald throws them in the car, with Donald livid and the boys upset as their chafing at his constant overprotectiveness. 

Both sides aren’t wrong. tThe boys DID do something reckless, putting an old woman in the desert and risking their home just to go on a joyride. What they did was wrong.. but the boys AREN’T wrong for getting annoyed that he won’t let them DO anything and overly hovering over them when they CAN handle themselves as we’ll see. WE now know why: he lost their mother and his sister to her and scrooge’s recklesness. While he got therapy for his anger it’s clear he never properly got help about Della, and thus overcompensates by trying to keep what he has left of her alive. He means well.. but to them it comes off as him being manically overprotective with no good reason. They get into trouble because it’s the only way to DO anything away from him. He’s trying so hard not to loose them he almost has by the time hte series starts, and it’s telling that when they get context in Last Crash, they appricate him more from then on. They do love him, but their frustration is understandable even if what their doing is pretty damn stupid. But their also 10 and Donald’s the grown adult in therapy who should’ve dealt with this or tried to at least by now.

So with no other options Donald sets a course for McDuck manor which excites the boys who have heard of Scrooge McDuck and his exploits, each rattling off something they heard him do that fits their personality (Dewey picks him fighting a stone monster, Huey picks him uncovering a hoax and Louie picks his swimming in money. ) As Donald tries to get them to simmer down, they wonder what he’s up to

He’s up toooo.. depression. He’s in a room with his board, watching them with utter hate and sadness as they talk about cutting the invention and aviation departments. This scene plays ENTIRELY differently after the final two episodes of the season. Before it still plays well as Scrooge clearly resenting being stuck in a boring board meeting, having lost everything that made him him and just having lost his passion for life. Now? It plays as a man utterly disdainful of the men who made him give up on his daughter. While as far as he knows they did it to save his employees from his company collapsing, we know better now... and seriously where IS the rest of the board they just vanished after the Season 3 premiere.

I don’t mind only one being fleshed out, unlike the triplets we only NEED the one I mind that they just never explained it and still haven’t. Hopefully the finale will. 

But back on the plot, it now plays as Scooge just full of hatred for them, knowing they had to do what they did, even if they weren’t emebzlling but still hating them and himself. He’s likely not even paying attention anymore because he just dosen’t CARE: he has all the money int he world.. and it couldn’t bring him his daughter back. As he sadly puts the coins he was fiddling with back and says see you tommorow he can’t even close the vault without a struggle. As we’ll see later the strength never left, it’s not like he stopped execrising.. but he has nothing left to fight for. Nothing left to care about. He could adventure agian so far.. but without Della or Donald, as we’d learn two seasons later the reason he enjoyed it again... what’s the point? He has nothing left except his money. 

This is also a nice parallel to the final Chapter of LIfe and Times. I always felt the first half of woo-ooo was a spiritual adaptation of chapter 12 of that: Scrooge meets the boys for the first time and with their help, and Donalds in the story< Webby and Launchpad here, he regains his passion and more importantly his family after driving them away> The how is very different: he did in life and times due to sinking to his lowest point morally, then cruelly dismissing his family when they tried to welcome him home and bury the hatchet despite what he’d done. Here.. he made a HORRIBLE mistake, one that wasn’t entirely on him but still cost him everything and spent the decade instead of stewing or making more money trying desperately to undo it. The end result is the same, a dried out husk of a man with nothing left to loose and no will to gain anything.

This husk has launchpad though whose introduced as his driver and while good with subs and planes.. isn’t great on the road. After that though Donald pulls up hoping to drop the kids off before Scrooge arrives. Naturally this being a cartoon and Donald having tempted fate with that Scrooge shows up telling him to jettison that Jallopy at once. And finding out who it is, apart from asking how Donald is and Donald doing the same, dosen’t sway him. The boys however freak out after finding out Scrooge is Donald’s and there uncle, with my faivriote bit of that being Dewey exiting the car via a window and rolling across the roof back in. Amazing bit of animation. Wish I had a gif of that. 

Donald makes the situation plane and angry and asks “Can you do that without LOOSING THEM”. And scrooge is so painfully disarmed by his reminder of his past mistakes and the fact his surrogate son still resents him, that he agrees before realizing “Shit I have to watch children now don’t I” as Donald drives off. As you probably guessed, this is another scene that plays differently in hindsight, if not by much: It still plays as two men too stubborn and bitter to reconcile.. but now we know the why behind both their rages it feels even sadder. They both lost the person they cared about most but as it sadly happens in real life both have dug in their heels to reconcile, both feeling their right when neither completely is. While Donald was right to be upset at scrooge and della for what happened, and is mostly taking it out on scrooge because he’s the one left... he’s held onto his anger for 10 years instead of going to help when he’s unemployed, living in a dilapidated houseboat and trying ot raise three children alone and could’ve used what help scrooge would give. Scrooge is right to be upset that Donald is just selectively ignoring everything he’s done to save Della, but is too stubborn and prideful to apologize for what he DID do wrong and feels that’s enough to make up for it when , while it is enough that donald should forgive him, still dosen’t mean he dosen’t have a lot to apologize for. Both are just too angry and too much alike, as much as it woudln’t seem so, to settle with each other and see too much of what they lost. 

So the kids follow Scrooge.. who forgets to open the door, and Beakly lets them in. It’s a nice subtle bit. After some silence, Bentina TRIES to get her old friend and now employer to talk to them, but he naturally refuses and they do the talking, asking tons of questions.. and Dewey ends the conversation by accidently pressing the “imply he USED to be something rather than is something right now “ button

So Scrooge throws them in the twins old room, and Beakly gives them some marbles. You will give them b ack they will be counted. But another subtle touch I missed the first time is there... her sad look. She clearly doesn’t want to do this, but she has to play this carefully or else he might get mad and fire her on the spur of the moment. He’d obviously hire her back, where else is he going to get an ex spy who will both clean for him AND be his bodyguard and security. It’s a very small pool. Mostly because Beakly probably killed most of the other people who’d of fit that description during her spy days. 

Scrooge meanwhile is still rattled by Dewey’s statment, wondering if he really is a “used to be” instead of a “never left”. The fire is starting to spark again.. he just needs more kindling. And more kin. 

Meanwhile Louie and Huey marvel at Dewey’s “Brilliant’ breakout plan: hit the door knob with the sack of marbles til lit breaks. To be fair, they’ve known dewey as long as they’ve been alive and even by season 3 after he’s taken several levels in badass and cunning.. he still crashed a plane because his brother well-meaningly called him basic, and thought being nearly sacrificed the most times was an accomplishment. This is the best he could do and you all know it. It also works, so they can’t fault him for that... though he’s quickly kidnapped as are they. They wake up after the commerical break in a room with pure darkness, hung from the celing with a mystery person asking who they are and who they work for before Louie calls out for “uncle scrooge”... so she claps the lights back on and..

Well close. But it is Webby, who cuts them down, fangirls over meeting the nephews and asks who the evil triplet is. They all point to Louie who shrugs it off. I mean it was funny enough the first time but at this point I know he’s running several fradulent charites, almost all scamming his uncle. He’s earned that title. Webby puts them on the big board and then when asked they find out she’s Webby, her granny Beakly is housekeeper.  She then asks the big questons “Are we friends now?” “If we say yes will you let us live?” “Ha good one new best friend”

She then explains she dosen’t get to leave or anything even eat a hamburger. The boys are moved by this and Louie asks what she does for fun. She leads them to the vents and while Huey and Louie are a bit relcutant, Dewey naturally goes first pointing out it’s better than the marble room. They agree and are on their way. 

Okay unpinning that pin, the crew conciously updated Webby and Beakly as neither really had a lot of purpose in the original. It was also to conciously add more actiony females to the main family lineup, as both creators, both being fathers, preferred someone their daughters could look up to and would enjoy watching. Not someone perfect but someone intresting instead of someone who often got Kidnapped and whose main charactrisitcs were “Sweet and GIRL STEROTYPE” So cleverly they KEPT her being girly, having a skirt, liking ponies. .but also gave her all the training and skill of one Cassandra Cain, a sheltered background and an adorable personality that kept the sweetness but added her probably having killed a man at some point. It worked as Webby is one of the best parts of the show. 

Likewise Beakly was upgraded from fuddy duddy housekeeper, to badass former secret agent whose also a housekeeper, and bodyguard and confidant to scrooge. Demonstrated by her talk with him as he tries to put on his diving suit and go after the jewel of atlantis, having spotted the signs to go after it in the paper.. and wanting to prove a child wrong. Beakly points out the flaws in this, and tries to get him to connect to his family. Having lost hers, it’s easy to see why.. though the how’s a mystery.. for now i’m guess. We’ll see in the finale. But she’s Scrooge’s concisence and the one who can easiest reign him in, to the point two episodes directly have our heroes have to NOT call her or else the plot was end, but have that worked into the plot so it works. She’s the calm in his storm and hte one person he needs more than anyone else even if he dosen’t always realize it. He calls family “nothing but trouble” just as Dewey passes overhead. 

So naturally as Webby shows off Scrooge’s old treasures in a mysterious room, while the other Siblings are rightfully impressed, Dewey dismisses it as “fake” because he’s being a little shit, and they agree after seeing Donald, not knowing his reputation. The cutaway to him struggling with a stapler does not help> it’s only when Webby accidnetly uneleashes Captain Peghook, a vengeful ghost after scrooge, who gets his hand on a ghostly sword do they realize this time the monsters are real. Huey also accidently wakes up Manny, the headless manhorse! 

Things somehow get WORSE as Scrooge finds them.. but is in no state to argue and as our heroes duck and Huey tries to divise a plan.. Scrooge get’s his spark back once agian.. it’s starting to become an ember now... and he charges in despite Dewey’s cries of “No come back your old!”. It then gets VERY badass Scrooge: Oi! Beastie! What's it gonna take to shuffle you off to the afterlife? Captain Peg-Hook: The head of Scrooge McDuck! Scrooge: [cracks his neck, flips his cane around to wield like a sword] Would you settle for his hat?

Now that is how you show how badass Scrooge is in a few lines and gestures. HE proceeds to take both out, as they’ve now teamed up, easily, tricking peghook into cutting off the head of a statue of him in the area, throwinng it at him and finsihing the ghosts buisnesss (”I should’ve been more specifiiiicccccc”) and then giving Manny the head, earning him a loyal employee for life. So our days saved, the kids have faith.. and Scrooge is still pissed. He also reveals this isn’t a treasure room but the garage in what’s easily the best gag of the first half, possibly the whole special but one iconic moment is very close in that one. Webby concedes what about the stack of old magazines or the hose or.. okay he’s probably right. He berates them only for the kids to fire back, pointing out he threw them in a room, they just wanted to spend time with him... but it’s only Dewey throwing his words back in his face that pisses him off. Scrooge bellows at them to get out, clearly having internalized everything with donald into rage and trying to justify pushing eveyrone away instead of working at it... but this dosen’t have time to actually work, nor would Beakly actually throw three children out on the curb, as he hits a mystic gong.. the third time it’s been hit. And after realizing it’s already been hit twice Scrooge is faced with Pixu, the gold hutning dragon! And guess who has a giant bin of it wanting to snack on? Scrooge naturally climbs on the thing and the kids naturally want to follow, with Webby getting her first development by proudly announcing “I’m going to eat a hamburger” then explains the metaphor. They just need a pilto.. and as Launchpad has been saying but I forgot to add in “I’m a pilot”

So we get a GORGEOUS bit of Scrooge riding the dragon over the city, getting banged up as he does before finally being thrown off.. only for the kids to catch him with the planes help and try and come up with a plan. Scrooge overcomes his anger at them not staying put, especailly since Webby brings up the right weakness: as a wise man once said...

So they need some.. like say the Medusa Gauntlet Scrooge had in the garage.. that Louie naturally stole. Huey and Webby eyeroll him but they have what they need.. and Huey brought the hose and quickly comes up with a plan, tying scrooge in, and swinging him to Pixu. The kids hold on tight, Dewey calls his family awesome and our heroes win the day as Scrooge turns the dragon to stone, slips and falls.. and then GRACEFULLY dives into hte bin, showing off his diving skills and his badassery. The day is saved, the gauntlet and the dragon go in the bin for safe keeping and Scrooge calls the kids trouble.. and chuckles fondly. “Curse me kilts how i’ve missed trouble”

He’s impressed: Huey’s quick thinking, Louie’s pickpocketing, Dewey’s drive, and Webby’s magical knowledge all saved them. For once. .he’s happy again. And for the second time in life it took his family to remind him why he does this and show him the true fun of adventure: Getting to share it with those he love. And he finally has people to love again. He has family back, kids who look up to him and want to learn from him again, a REASON to adventure. Money and treasure and eveyrthig couldn’t bring della back.. but he at least sees now that whiel they certianly couldn’t.. they can bring him closely with what he has left. She’s gone, for now.. but she left behind three great kids who could use a mentor and Beakly brought him a fourth. And he just found out he has a pilot. The ember.. is now a raging flame. Scrooge is back. Because i’ts not the money or the glory.. it’s the thrill of it, the discovery.. and the family that makes adventuring worth while and he’s learned that lesson again. So he calls Beakly to clear his schedule.. forgetting she you know PUT A FUCKING PIN INTHE WALL the last time he asked her to play scretary and the onlyr eason she dind’t drive over the choke him to death, is that she’s probably happy he’s back on track.

Back at the interview Donald is stapled to the wall and gets the job.. not as an accountant mind but his employer needs a sailor.. and his employer is FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. Oh boy. 

Part 2: Escape To/From Atlantis First the last bit of background I saved: Originally, Fenton and Gyro were supposed to show up here, starting a gag of Fenton showing up but not being named until “Beware the B.U.D.D.Y. System!”, setting up the sub. But the crew decided this took too much away from the focus on the duck family. The not naming him gag was also dropped, and I have two reasons why: Their given reason, which is it’d take up too much time and a logistical reason: While they gave a heartfelt pitch to Lin-Manuel Miranda, as frank wanted a strong Latino superhero to combat the lack of them on film, Frank and Matt probably thought they woudln’t get such a huge name or at least prepared for it.. and were delightfully suprised when Lin happily and tearfully agreed. So they likely scrapped it so they could properly promote the biggest name in their voice cast. Honestly it was for the best and they still go to do the idea with Drake in “The Duck Knight Returns!”, where it worked much better than it probably would have with Fenton. 

We open with the Glomgold Industries Employee Training Video! Encourging IP Theft, making things cheaper and general scumbaggery, and claming your the world’s most beloved scottish billionare. IN short the perfect introduction to everyone’s favorite insane, fake-scottish, scheming, egotistical , short sighted billionaire. As i’ve made transparent before, I fucking love the reboot version of Glomgold and he’s easily one of my favorite parts of the reboot. They clearly needded to find a new place for Glomgold in the grand scheme of things as the show was more about globetrotting adventure and family and less about getting contracts or bets about whose bigger money and more about family. While they DID do a classic bet storyline with season 2, it’s clear the old glomgold was just a bit too stiff to properly fit into this new zanier and deeper universe. 

So they instead remolded him as a half insane, knockoff scrooge, someone who PURPOSFULLY modeled himself after the guy to try and one up him, and instead of being a fairly low pitched schemer, was a bombastic idiot whose schemes were half baked, whose name was on everything he made, and whose only thing bigger than scrooge was his glorious ego. In short he was perfect for this series and perfect to show up way more often as a bumbling thorn in Scrooge’s side.. but one who COULD be effective in the right circumstances, as to not make him completely pointless. Keith was likewise the only person I could see in the roll now as with Hater he had a history of playing bombastic, egosticial morons, and made Glomgold into the enjoyable ball of ego, bombs, sharks and shouting we know and love. Some people didn’t take to this version after a while... I’m not one of those. I loved him here, I love him now, and he’s every bit as good in season 3 as he was at the start. He’s also wearing a kilt mcduck A KILT. A bit that’st STILL funny four years and 70 some episodes later. 

So we meet Gabby McStabberson and the Smashnikovs as they and Donald file in, though Donald is busy wrapping up a call with Scrooge, who assures them he has a low key day planned.. while in the sub getting ready to go to atlantis. And nearly drowning when Dewey tells Launchpad to dive while he and Scrooge are still up top. Cue credits. 

So on the sub we get our setup for the two main plots for the episode: While the main thrust of everything is Scrooge taking them to Atlantis, each leads to a diffrent plot. Louie talks to Donald and lies entirely about their day, worrying Webby.. who then reveals she just didn’t tell Beakly she took off or where she was going and encourages her to call and lie. To save time, i’m going to cover this subplot now minus the conclusion as it’s pretty simple and this review is already a day behind. Louie wants her to lie so she dosen’t worry, which is oddly sweet.. still a bit greasy, but it’s clear he means well and it shows in his own way the boy cares about Donald: Sure he’ll lie to the guy, and set up a fradulent charity to scam him.. but he also knows not to worry his dad-uncle and kows Donald is better off thinking their safe than knowing the truth. Granted it also prevents consequences for Louie.. but he’s not playing here here. He gets nothing out of Beakly not knowing the truth or helping some girl he just met, he’s just being NICE in his own twisty way. It’s a nice show of his depths: While louie will lie, cheat and steal Eddie Gurrero style, he does have a caring side underneath hit. He can read people well and while he primarily uses it to manipulate people, we’ll see time and time again that he can use it for good too and to help those he cares about. He’s nothing but supportive the whole plot, and even when he says “you can’t back that up” it’s more worrying about her and having a bit of crack than actually being a dick. 

So Webby tries lying, but is about as good as Huey is at it, saying “I’m at a friends house nothing, then makes up a clearly fake name, then says their only talking in swedish for a grandpa. Launchpad DOES help, but only by accident and snake venom. We’ll get to that. As I said this wasn’t the most complex plot. 

The main plot is our focus episode for dewey. In theory each of the kids was supposed to have one in the first five episodes: Dewey here, Webby in Daytrip of Doom, Louie in Great Dime Chase and Huey in Impossible Summit of Mt. Nevverest!. Given the last one was horribly delayed, he instead got Terror of the Terra Firmians, which in hindsight wasn’t the best spotlight episode for him. But it’s a good system; Introduce them all in the first half of the pilot then slowly focus on each one.  So now Idoloizing Scrooge, Dewey is desperate to be his sidekick and be seen as an equal and is in deep denial as scrooge instead has them all buckle up for a 17 hour ride and when Dewey questions the route, which skips the direct path.. but is clearly marked with monsters, Scrooge just snaps at him and shuts him down and disapoints the boy who only wants to prove himself to Scrooge. 

Naturally though, telling someone with that kind of need for attention and validation to wait goes poorly as he redirects the map while Launchapd is distracted.. and we find out WHY the trip is 17 hours as the direct route nearly gets them killed by mer-ducks, krakens and some sort of storm elemental. Dewey is bummed it didn’t work and annoyed to realize he’s just lumping them all together like Huey pointed out earlier. Huey is also delightful here, having brought travel bingo and sea shanties, clearly used to trips with his other uncle. And adorably taking after him. 

But Dewey’s deversion has done more than make him even MORE determined to prove himself to Scrooge whose just trying to NOT loose the son of the daughter he lost...

The Merducks have taken up residence in the bathroom, so they have to make a pitstop. Scrooge, CLEARLY forgetting how to take a trip with children, wasn’t prepared for this but they find a frieghter and make a stop. Naturally it’s GLOMGOLD’S freighter, where his sub took off from, and he and his minons including Donald find Scrooge using the bathroom.. and the boys to Donald’s rage. Unfortunately saying ‘I’ll kill him” to a raging sociopath who takes that as a sign to kill ALL of them, isn’t a smart move. 

So while Donald tries to plan to keep his family alive, said family arrives in Atlantis with a great bit of Scrooge trying to give a big speech only for them to see it first and ooh and ah. They touch down in the city.. which is flip turned upside down. Scrooge notes hti is odd but is able to read the hieroglypchs even upside downa nd notes there’s tones of deadly traps and that they shoudl stay back and..

Huey: Dewey ran in as soon as you said traps. 

So while Scrooge tries to prevent dewey loosing his head, Donald prevents launchpad loosing his and makes up an excuse about “if their dead now we can’t tourture them later” to cover his ass. Glomgold is impressed.  Dewey is Dewcipointed that the traps are upside down, though he does trigger some snakes that get launchpad. He’s fine just delirious. And possibly slowly dying but the fact he’s lived this long is a miracle. Maybe that’s why he’s missing for most of season 3 part 2, the snake venom caught up to him and drake and fenton need to find the cure. Anyways the rest of the party stays behind while Scrooge chases after Dewey, who naturally runs ahead AGAIN. 

Donald ducks out to use the bathroom, as Dewey tries the old dance through the laser grid routine.. but forgets the part where your supposed to actually avoid it, leaving it to an unseen Donald to stop the fire traps from barbqueing his boy. IT’s a really awesome sequence that shows off Donald’s still got it even if he dosen’t want it.  Scrooge naturally works smarter not harder and simply ziplines above like a badass and berates Dewey when he tells him he took “The easy way”

“Why would you want to take the hard way?” The argument that’s been brewing all episode bubbles up and once again both sides have a point: Scrooge rightfully points out Dewey’s being reckless, has no experince and needs to listen to Scrooge and learn something. Dewey claps back that Scrooge isn’t TEACHING them, just teling them to get behind him while he does things instead of trying to actively mentor them. He outright told them he was going to teach them so while Dewey’s been a wee bit overbearing, he’s right in being disappointed that Scrooge instead just wants them to be safe. I see it as his subconscious acting up: He wants and needs the kids along and is right ot keep them safe.. but is too scared to properly mentor them after what happened to Della and is just trying not to loose anybody. His methods have been right, to keep them safe.. he’s just been so determined to save them, he can’t properly TEACH them so he won’t have to forever or explain WHY. And given the First Adventure shows that while protective he did eventually let Della and Donald pull their weight.. but here he lost so much between adventures.. he just can’e bear loosing them. Dewey also rightfully points out he just lumps them together which in any other version wouldn’t be an issue, until the reboot I had no idea which one was which here? They have distinct outfits and personalities and you had 17 hours to actually get to know them. Probably less given the shortcut but still, several hours at a minimum. It’s things like this that make the series work: while there’s plenty of internal conflicts, at their best their nuanced ones, where if one character is clearly in the wrong they have a reason, and if both are right both are also a bit wrong, versus the original where it’d be scrooge or the boys grabbing the asshole ball at times (Not always mind you but when they did it was insufferable. 

However they don’t have time to argue as the bridge goes out and Glomgold finds donald.. and another way around as a result and gets to the treasure first. Scrooge notices they have donald but once again Dewey charges in 

“Unhand my uncle” “No” “Okay wasn’t prepared for that”

Naturally both sides are a bit livid, Donald for dragging his boys into danger after being part of the reason his sister is on the moon right now, and Scrooge for working with one of his greatest eneimies.. though Scrooge has less ground to stand on because as Donald points out “I can’t keep track of ALL of your sworn enemies” I mean he has lived like .. 200 years. That’s a long enemies list and Glomgold, while the most persistent, isn’t exactly the most dangerous they probably encountered. Given the guy’s an artist with Bombs and Sharks that does say a lot about how badass Scrooge is.. and how incompitent glomgold usually is. He’s just having an on day today I guess. 

Glomgold naturally holds Donald hostage, takes what is suppsidley the jewel and leaves them to drown to death, hitting a wall to let it start leaking. HIs minons run into the rest of the heroes and a fight breaks out while naturally Donald, after even more naturally getting his ass stuck in a hole, literally, rails out at Scrooge for doing this telling him “I knew I couldn’t trust you and” “This is the spear of selene all over again”

Scrooge’s only response is “I was not responsible for the Spear of Selene!”

Dude you still paid for the rocket. While Della shoulders most of the blame, SHE choose to take an untested rocket, SHE choose not to come back during the turbulence YOU still built it and hid it from donald and didn’t make sure she couldn’t just take off in it. Your both to blame. And as I mentioned earlier to the least extent but still an extent, so was Donald telling his grown, adult sister whose as stubborn as she is what she could and couldn’t do. He had the right idea and was the only person trying to be an adult here in this situation.. but he still took the wrong approach with stopping her. Still he got far more ground to stand on than Scrooge, who also took his nephews out. Dewey stops both by pointing out that while yes Scrooge took them on an adventure he’s been doing NTOHING but keeping him safe and most of it was his fault which disarms donald a bit. Though Dewey is quickly distracted.. but for once by an obersvation: the gem glowing above thaem that glowed when they entered... and since the city got flipped turned upside down.. THAT’S the real jewel. Dewey asks Donald ot let it flood so they can get it and begs his uncle to trust him despite his doubts which he does. They get it and everyone’s okay and even more when they reunite with the others they find they’ve handily beaten them. To me this is where donalds walls go down a bit: he realizes he’s been smothering the kids, and that while he may hate his uncle for good reason... he’s not going to make the same mistake with them and while he lied.. Don probably realized if Scrooge had been honest Donald would never have let them go. He can trust him.. and he can trust his kids will be alright without him. 

So Glomgold naturally leaves his minions to die, but our heroes manage to make it to the sub, and Gabby asks if they can bum a ride. Not wanting to do any murders they agree. On the surface Glomgold is showing off his jewel, only for Scrooge to upstage him second’s later with the real jewel, and point out his is “nice but defintly cursed”... and right on cue Glomgold gets dragged off with an octopus and let’s off his first “Curse you mcduck!”. Scrooge offers clean water and power thorugh it, for a price because of course he does, and has offically made his grand comeback. 

We get back to Webby’s subplot, as she’s confronted by Beakly.. who naturally being a former spy easily figured it out immieditely but is only upset her grandaughter lied to her. And even at that she dosen’t raise her voice or anything about the matter, knowing it’d only make her feel worse and getting that her grandaughter needs to see the world and that much like donald, she walled her up to prevent loosing what little she had left. And since being with Scrooge is safe as with her, she can go with him anytime just tell her first kay? They hug. Awwww. 

Donald likewise apologizes, admitting that whatever has passed, he misjudged his uncle here and while not forgiving him yet, is at least willing to let him back into his life and into the boys.. on holidays and stuff at least. But fate forces his hand.. or rather his 10 year old nephew-son having left the engine on and neither having turned it off, meaning his boat goes boom and is in no liveable condition. But Scrooge has the space in his heart and mansion for them.

So as we close the kids help move the artifacts all around the house instead of just the garage while Launchapd drops the boat. While clearing out Dewey notices the painting from earlier.. and finds part of it was flipped over...

“Mom?!” 

Now keep in mind, while nowadays Della’s inclusion in the show is one of the most famous and treasured parts of the show.. back then this was a fucking shock. Disney never really cared about the boys mother and outside of one comics story never really went into what happened. So the fact she was not only an actual important part of the plot but we’d find out was a HUGE wham moment and left my jaw dropped after seeing the episode. Like I would with the finales I had read no spoilers and had no idea this was coming but damn was it a huge and welcome suprise and how far they’d take it and how much they’d flesh her out was an even bigger one. Easily one of the best big reveals i’ve ever seen. The only better one I can think of from this series itself... is the end of season 2. But that’s for another time. 

Final Thoughts on Woo-Ooo!:

This two parter/hour long special.. is still one of the episodes best and easily one of the best pilots. It does slow down a bit in pacing in the second half, but otherwise is just an immaculate , beautiful pilot movie that introduces and fleshes out all 8 main characters, maybe Launchpad the least but enough to still work, gives us some big mysteries to work out, and even throws in Glomgold’s first apperance. It sets the tone, reverent and adventuerous but also with it’s own weird and wacky sense of humor and world building, and universe perfectly. I .. don’t have much else to say really it’s just THAT good and really worth checking out. If you somehow haven’t seen it go watch it and if you haven’t seen it in a while might be worth a rewatch before the finale. The absolutely perfect start to an amazing ride. 

Next on the Della Arc: Dewey and Webby try to figure out where Della is while Louie learns a valuable life lesson and  pisses off a killer robot along the way.

Next on the Blog: Amphibia Season 2 is back! 

Until then if you liked this review follow for more and if you could please support me on patreon. Even a buck a month helps and juicy stretch goals give you na incentive to contirbute. We’re 5 bucks away from 20 dollars a month which means a review of super ducktales and a Darkwing Duck review EVERY. MONTH. So contribute now! Until the next rainbow it’s been a pleasure. 

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X5

SPOILERS AHEAD!

I’m going to go right ahead and say it. This episode felt like a PSA to me, but it was well done. It was emotional and impactful and the storyline about Bailey’s Mom made me tear up, but at the same time the episode felt very stagnant and I feel like the lives of the other characters didn’t really move forward or go anywhere. It felt like they were all standing still. I liked the conversations between Jackson and Richard and Bailey and Maggie about how COVID has impacted black and brown people more than other races and how unfair that is and how politicians and decision makers need to pay more attention to that.

I loved the conversation between Bailey and Maggie. I liked that they addressed what happened with Maggie’s Mom because that storyline bothered the heck out of me. Maggie treated Meredith and everyone else horribly when all they did was try and help and then she forced her mother to undergo treatments she didn’t want because Maggie couldn’t handle the fact that she was dying and then they just dropped it. I’m glad to see that make a comeback and that Maggie has recognized that what she did and the way she behaved was wrong and is now using that experience to help others.

I loved their comments about guidance counsellors and others assume black people aren’t as bright or as capable as white folks and how insidious that is. It’s not something I’ve experienced myself as a white person, but I’m glad they’re highlighting it. This episode was written by Zoanne Clack who is a black woman and a former E.R. Physician. The previous episode was written by Julie Wong who is an Asian woman and I think it’s great they are utilizing the talent that they have so that people of colour can share their stories and their experiences on a global scale. 

By telling these stories through the lives of characters we know and love and can empathize with it allows people who will never have these experiences understand a little bit more. Representation is important and this show has always done a really good job in my opinion of highlighting important topics and social issues in a sensitive and thoughtful manner. These characters are fictional, but their stories are taken from the lives of real people and I think an important step in the process of creating a better fairer world is creating media that reflects people’s realities in order to cultivate empathy so that people who might not otherwise understand or get it have a window into that experience.

Maybe it changes their mind. Maybe it doesn’t. But the point is that it opens people’s minds to the possibility of seeing a side that they didn’t before and that is half the battle when trying to get people to understand someone else’s experience or point of view. I’m going to be seeing my family this holiday season virtually and in small groups from a safe distance. As is the case for many visiting with relatives over the holidays means having to listen to a lot of ignorant opinions, frustrating statements, and in some cases racial slurs and inappropriate remarks. 

So I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m going to handle that this year because my tolerance for that crap has gone out the window. All this to say it’s nice to see good people fighting the good fight to get these stories out there to a global audience so that maybe some people will get it and maybe some good will come of it. And even if it doesn’t seeing characters and stories that represent you on screen is powerful and moving and wonderful and we all deserve that. I teared up watching Bailey suffer with the deterioration and death of her Mom.

The end scene where Bailey describes the patients she’s lost to COVID in the voice over while her and Richard sing ‘My Girl’ to give her Mom that moment of peace and a death with dignity got me. It really put a face on the disease. Watching her and her Dad struggle with it was so hard. I loved Bailey’s voice over where she shared info about the COVID patients she’d lost so far and who they were not just their disease. That was well done. Made me tear up.

I loved the talk between Meredith and Bailey at the hospital and on the beach. This episode wasn’t as shocking as the previous ones, but it was still good. I’m glad Meredith is getting better. I will miss the beach, but I’m excited to see her wake up, get better, and hopefully spend some time with Hayes. Which brings me to my chief complaint with this episode which is where the heck was Hayes?!?! This is the second episode he’s been absent from for no discernable reason and no explanation has been given as to where he is.

I did not sign up for this. A big part of the joy I felt when they announced that he was being upped to a main character was the implication that he was going to be given his own storylines and character development outside of Meredith and his relationships with Abigail, Liam, and Austin. But Hayes being absent when Meredith’s not awake robs of him that. Don’t get me wrong. I love Meredith and Hayes together and all I want is for them to be together and live happily ever after.

But, Hayes has such a rich and interesting backstory and there’s so much to explore there. Richard Flood who plays him brings such a wonderful depth to the character and he deserves to have his own story apart from Meredith and I really want to see him interact with the other characters more. We’ve seen him interact significantly with Jo and Bailey, but I’d love to see him interact with Maggie, Amelia, Jackson, and Owen more. His absence this episode reminds me of the episode after the Conference Episode last season where he was suddenly missing for no reason and they didn’t explain where he was.

I’m confused because he was upped to a main character just before this season started so he should be in every episode or almost every episode like the other characters are. I’m starting to get concerned that the actor who plays him has fallen ill or tested positive for COVID-19 or that he’s dealing with some kind of family emergency and so they had to cut him out of the episode last minute. I hope I’m wrong, but I honestly can’t think of another reason the actor would be missing for upwards of 2 to 4 weeks when these episodes were filmed.

I can’t see his absence being a story choice because it doesn’t make any sense and they haven’t addressed it on screen as they usually do when an actor has departed or needs time off and they have time to write that in. He also doesn't appear to be in the promo for next week’s episode which is strange considering it shows another meeting being held by Richard where some of the other department heads can be seen and we get shots of most of the other characters. After the Premiere aired he appeared in the promo for Episode 3 standing outside Meredith’s window and in that episode we saw them have a heart to heart that I thought was really beautiful and lovely.

At this point it’s unclear if Meredith even knows that Hayes is the one that found her and got her help and is distraught over her condition. He’s the head of Peds which is a pretty important department. Where the heck is he? They can gladly write off other characters in the second half of the season to give him more screen time in my opinion. I really hope the actor and his family are okay.  I’d also hate for his sudden absence to wreck Meredith’s storyline.

I love their friendship and flirtations and I’d hate to see her wind up alone or with someone that clearly isn’t right for her and that she doesn’t really love because something unexpected happened with the actor. I really really hope he’s in the mid-season finale next week! Jo suddenly declaring that she wants to quit general surgery to become an OBGYN came out of nowhere and makes no sense to me.

She spent years being with and then married to the Head of Pediatric Surgery and was decidedly lukewarm on the idea of having kids or even being near them. So her and Alex split and in the wake of that she randomly decides she wants to be an OBGYN and deliver babies? What the heck? I’m also confused because I feel like Hayes should have been there because it was a Peds case and he wasn’t and if Jo wants to re-specialize it would make sense for her to talk to Carina or Hayes.

Carina’s a main character on Station 19 and is still reoccurring on Grey’s so she can talk to her for an episode or two, but anymore than that and I think that would fall under Hayes perview because he’s a main character. But he’s currently MIA and we don’t know why. I did love Jo’s scenes with Levi though. They’re always hilarious and I think they bounce off of each other really well. I’m glad that Tom improved and apparently isn’t dying.

I like him with Teddy and I hope they get back together at some point. I’m glad they are choosing to be friends again. More than anything I want Teddy to pick a lane here. Owen or Tom. Pick one and go with it. Stop flip flopping all over the place like a fish out of water. Teddy’s a hot mess these days. I liked Amelia’s speech to Teddy. She has feelings about what Teddy did and didn’t do, but as she says she herself has done horrible things, some of them involving Owen, so she’s not in any place to judge, but she also doesn’t want to be friends with Teddy or really talk to her. And that’s fair. I have to say I love Amelia post-tumour. She’s great.

Also what happened to Casey Parker the resident from last season who was transgender and former military? I really liked him! Where did he go? I’d much rather see him that DeLuca or Nico on screen. Based on what I caught of next week’s promo it looks the COVID situation at Grey Sloan is about to get worse. We see Richard addressing staff in the cafeteria saying that they need to prepare for a surge of patients and that their patient load could double. We’re in May in the current Grey’s timeline so that fits.

It’s apparently also a cross over. I don’t want another cross over. I want to know where the hell Hayes is! And it looks like Amelia is back in the OR and the doctors are treating two teenagers who were kidnapped and held captive. Yikes! And we see Meredith smiling at someone on the beach before suddenly waking up. My guess is that it’s Derek and we are finally going to get to see them embrace and then Meredith is going to return to the land of the living. And hopefully interact with Hayes.

Until next time!

[calm-and-wine]

(I’ll give you) the best years

part IV (masterlist, taglist)

Hello and happy monday! I hope everyone is having a lovely day, as you all deserve. I’d like to take this moment to say one more thank you to everyone who voted for my little story for the awards. We got runner up for best sequel (like whaaaaat), that is crazy and I love every single one of you. Here is part IV, hopefully it’ll bring you a little escape. (it’s 9.5k which I think is the longest thing I’ve ever written, but apparently I couldn’t help myself with this one)

PART IV

March 2025

Lucy was familiar with Niall in his recording mode. When he was in the studio day and night, having one idea after the other. But Niall working on music for One Direction was a different story. She has never seen him so excited, he was bouncing off the walls, gushing about studio sessions and laughs he shared with the boys, constantly playing her bits and snippets of what they had been working on. But working as a team with three other guys made it much harder to make the couple’s schedules line up. However, they still made it work, as much as possible. Niall made sure to keep his schedule free for all the Grand Slams and he even managed to be with her for some other tournaments on her last tour as well.

She was more than impressed that the band managed to keep their reunion a secret, mostly working in Louis’ little home studio. Even though they definitely weren’t as watched by the public as a few years before, knowing how big of a deal the band was, Lucy was pretty sure that as soon as people would get a whiff of them possibly coming back, they would go crazy for those guys once again. It was just the magic of them, something no one could explain, least of all the men involved.

Her and Niall managed to meet up in Los Angeles for a little over a week. Harry was there doing promo for his upcoming movie, which he filmed early last year, so he could still work on some songs with Niall, while Lucy was supposed to do two magazine photoshoots and interviews, as well as a talk show appearance, before going to play in Indian Wells. She had done a few things like that before, been a guest on a few tv shows back in England after winning her first Grand Slam, then in America after the US Open triumph, there were some magazine things as well. But since January, after she announced this would be her last season as a professional player, quite a few offers came in. Apparently she was the new sports star in demand. She wasn’t the biggest fan of those kinds of things, they always made her nervous, the only place she liked being the center of attention was on court. But her manager and the rest of her team convinced her to do a few of those, assuring her that publicity like that would be good for whatever she wants to do in the future.

When Lucy finally crossed the threshold of Niall’s LA house (which he insisted was theirs, since they were married and all), all she wanted to do was slide her back down the door and curl into a ball on the floor. She was exhausted. The photoshoot ran longer than she expected, and after that she was interviewed whilst having dinner. The reporter was a middle aged man, not necessarily rude, but a lot of his questions were more like assumptions that rubbed her the wrong way.

She just took off her shoes, when her husband appeared in the hallway, looking all soft in athletic shorts and a long-sleeve shirt, his hair growing longer than usual lately, which Lucy kinda loved. He wasted no time in stepping closer to her and enveloping her in his famous hug, even though she often thought he reserved special tight ones just for her.

“Long day?” he asked, still holding her, her arms wrapped around his waist just as tightly.

She nodded, before admitting, “I actually kinda hated it.” Her words muffled, as she nuzzled her face into Niall’s neck.

He hummed, rubbing her back in order to relax her. “Are you hungry?” He asked, but she shook her head, still making no move to let him go. “How about a bath?”

At last, Lucy pulled away slightly to look at him, her eyes big and appreciative. “Yes, please.”

He planted a sweet kiss on her forehead, squeezed her one last time before letting her go, but not completely, intertwining their fingers and leading her upstairs.

He didn’t ask questions, sensing her mood, mostly her tiredness, and simply falling into step with her actions. She went to the sink to remove her makeup, hating not being able to do that right after the last photo was taken, finding the professional make up to be way too much for her. Niall started filling up the tub, adding her favourite salt and scented oil. He truly knew the way to her heart.

“Do you want some tea? Wine?” he asked, turning towards her, their eyes meeting in the mirror, the bathroom filled with the sound of the running water.

“That apple and cinnamon tea?”

Niall nodded at her request. “Coming right up.”

He made a move to leave, but she grabbed his forearm, keeping him in place.

“Stay for a minute, please? It’ll get cold before I’m done with this mess,” she said motioning to her face and hair, which was pinned up, mentally cringing at just the thought of the amount of hairspray that went into it.

To be honest, the main reason behind her plea was just the need for his company, which she thought he must have sensed, because he linked his arms around her waist from behind and planted a kiss on her neck, before stepping back and perching on the edge of the tub.

“Was today awful, then?” he asked, giving her his full attention and concern.

“Well..” Lucy hesitated for a second. “No, not really awful, just…” she sighed, trying to explain it the best she could without complaining too much or sounding ungrateful at the opportunities she had. “The photoshoot was fine, I don’t love those stuff, but the clothes were amazing and everyone was super nice, just quite tiring though. But the interview…” She trailed off, rubbing particularly hard at her eye to remove the fake lashes.

“What happened?” Niall asked, biting his lip nervously. Lucy got her bad days, everyone did sometimes, but she was usually cool and collected, burying herself under a blanket and putting on a feel-good movie or a tv show, preferably cuddling into Niall’s body as well. She didn’t like getting her frustration out, she did that only while working out or playing.

“I’m just so irritated, baby,” she let out an exasperated sigh, giving up on washing her face for a minute and turning towards Niall. “I knew there has always been a lot of unfairness in treatment of men and women in sports, you know, and I’m not even talking about money, just all those headlines, with us it’s always the most unflattering picture on the front page, we’re always criticised about our looks and outfits first, don’t even get me started on the Serena’s catsuit debacle, banning that was just so wrong. Men don’t get that. When a tournament starts people wonder how they’ll perform, not what they’ll wear.” She shook her head, trying to not raise her voice, even though she felt like annoyance and anger were seeping out of her body. “Do you know what’s the question I’ve been asked the most since January?” Lucy asked, but didn’t really wait for Niall’s response, even though he gave her a small shrug. “Whether I’m pregnant. Because apparently that is the only plausible explanation for retiring. Like… How would that even work?” she asked, throwing her arms out in exasperation. “I’m playing my last tournament in September, do they expect me to play heavily pregnant then? Or with a baby on my hand and a racket in the other? What the fuck even is this bullshit?” She was talking fast, all her questions rhetorical, although Niall wouldn’t even dare to interrupt her when she was on a roll like that. “Men don’t have to endure any of it, everyone just automatically assumes it’s a health thing or whatever. With us it’s just constant speculation about our love and family life. And just… Fuck that, I’m honestly so done with this.” She turned towards the sink once more, going back to washing her face, like she was truly done with the topic. She didn’t even expect any reassuring words or anything from Niall, just needed to let her feelings out and vent to someone.

Niall was quiet for a moment, all he could do while she was speaking was look at her with wide eyes and a pull in his heart. She was agitated, angry and annoyed, but there was also so much passion in her words. So much care, not even for her, but for the number of women that had to endure it all as well. He always knew she was superhuman, but in that moment he was even more aware of that. He truly felt for her, just as much as he was in awe of her brain, her compassion and her strength.

He kept his head down for a second, thinking about her words, contemplating how he could possibly help, whether it was even possible. It was usually Niall who got riled up and went on a rant, not Lucy, so it was a new situation, one he wasn’t completely sure how to navigate, but he couldn't say he liked it. Seeing her this annoyed and agitated made his heart give a painful squeeze inside his chest, having this instant need to protect her and make it all better. It wasn’t a very familiar feeling for him, knowing how strong and independent his wife was, sometimes pointing those kinds of injustice, like when she saw a picture of a fellow female player to go with the article, but it was purposely chosen to be a photo with her skirt flying up, or when she saw comments online how “disgusting” it is when women scream on court after a good (or bad) point, but when the men do that they’re just “passionate”. She shared her thoughts about that with Niall, but never let it truly bother her. But this time, it seemed like she had had enough. And he couldn’t really blame her.

He stood up and pulled her into a hug once again, knowing he was in no position to fix the world, but hoping to at least make his wife feel better.

“I’m sorry. Men are dicks,” he said, which made Lucy laugh. It was a real laugh, the sound coming straight from her belly and making Niall smile instantly, just getting that reaction out of her, which was exactly what he was hoping to achieve.

“They really are sometimes,” she agreed, her face all lit up now, finally free of any make up, her eyes regaining their usual spark.

This was his wife, Niall thought, the most beautiful woman in the world, just like that, with her face slightly red after the wash, her hair still in a perfect up-do and her eyes telling him all of her secrets. In moments like that, he could not believe just how lucky he was.

Lucy pulled him in for a kiss, before patting his shoulder and letting him know he can go get her that tea now. There was no need for more words, she knew she had his support, he wasn’t merely a listener, if she asked him, he would do whatever she wanted. But it wasn’t that kind of situation. The patriarchy could not be changed by him, nor her, so she just tried to let it go, already feeling lighter by sharing those burdening thoughts. Tea and a bath in the company of her husband ended up being her safe haven, and that was all she needed.

July 2025

As Lucy fell down, her back hitting the grass, she could not believe what had just happened. There was no way it was real. Apparently, she just won Wimbledon. Fucking Wimbledon. The most prestigious tennis tournament that ever existed. The one in her home country. The one she always wanted to win, but didn’t think she’d actually manage to. It was a dream she let go already. And now it was a reality.

The whole stadium was so loud, she could barely hear her own thoughts. She sat up and saw her opponent coming towards her with a smile. Naomi was the closest person she had to a friend out of other players and she was very appreciative that they could compete at such monumental occasions, there was something special about sharing those moments with someone you not only had respect for, but also genuinely liked.

“That was fantastic, congratulations,” Naomi said earnestly as they hugged.

“It was a great game, you gave me hell,” Lucy said, at which they both laughed.

She spent a minute taking a bow and thanking the crowd, before she went closer to the stand to get to her people. She started up the stairs until she got to her player’s box, where there was a small door on the side, it was installed a few years back, after multiple players went jumping up and climbing the box, now it was much easier. It was only a moment before she was engulfed in a hug by her dad who sat the closest, her mum putting her arms around them a second later, turning it into a three way hug. Lucy could not keep the tears at bay any longer, she could hear her parents saying kind and loving words into her ears, but she was so emotional, still in a state of absolut shock, she wasn’t able to really process them. They let her go after a minute and all she had to do was take one step to be wrapped in her husband’s arms and crying on his shoulder.

“You mad, mad woman,” Niall whispered with a laugh, followed by a few kisses on her cheek, right by her ear, rubbing a calming hand over her back.

She stayed in his arms for probably way too long, seeing as there were thousands of people watching them and even more in front of the telly, the whole thing being broadcasted all around the world. But she didn’t care, she needed Niall, his presence always calming, his amazing hug and the smell of his cologne mixed with a bit of sweat from sitting in the sun feeling like home.

When she pulled away slightly, his eyes were shining. It always amazed her with how much love and pride he could look at her. Even though she usually looked at him the exact same way. She planted a simple peck on his lips before squeezing his arms with a smile and moving along to hug her coach, Mia and Natalia, Niall’s mum who, for three years now, has been coming to London for the two weeks during which the tournament took place to watch her play, then Lucy high fived the rest of the people in her box, including her manager, Niall’s cousin and best mate and their friends, Laura and Iain.

She could stay up there forever, sharing smiles and hugs with the people she cared about, but she had a trophy to pick up, after all. She actually probably took a bit too long already, because as soon as she was back down on court, she was hurried to the side to give a little speech before they presented her with a trophy. But they could wait for her, after all, she was the champion.

~~

“Shit, Niall!” Lucy called out, which prompted her husband to come out of the bathroom running a towel through his wet hair, while the other was wrapped around his waist. “I just won Wimbledon. Do you know what that means?”

He looked at her with an arched brow, like she was mental. “Um.. A lot, I guess? I don’t know what you’re on about, love,” he chuckled.

She threw her head in laughter, looking absolutely beautiful lying on the bed, in a shirt of his, her skin slightly tanned against the white sheets, her body tired, but her eyes bright with glee.

“Well, yeah, but first of all, that means I’m going to be a member of The All England Club, which is super cool and basically I’ll be able to go there to train or just play or hang out and I’ll probably be invited to matches at Wimby in the future.” Her eyes, despite tiredness, were shining.

“You’ll get a plus one ticket, right?” he asked, draping his hair towel over the chair and stepping closer to where she was. “Does being your husband make me like an honorary member or something?”

“Mmm I don’t think so, babe. You might have to win the tournament for that,” she giggled, when he grabbed her calf and made a move to tickle her, but didn’t actually go through with it. “But I will probably get two tickets, so you’re lucky I like you. But the second super fun part is that there’s the Champions’ Dinner going on tomorrow night. And seeing as I’m a fricking champion,” she said with a huge grin, the words still sounding unreal, “we’re invited.” Her face momentarily changed into one of horror. “Oh fuck, Niall!” she exclaimed, completely horrified. “I don’t have anything to wear! What the hell, how am I supposed to get a dress in less than a day?”

Niall’s shoulders shook with silent laughter at how terrified she looked. “Well, you’ve got quite a few dresses you could wear.”

“Niall!” Lucy reached for the pillow to hit him with, but he was too quick, grabbing it before it made contact and throwing it on the other side of the bed, still laughing. “It’s The Champions’ Dinner! It’s a big thing. I can’t just wear any old dress,” she explained, her eyes narrowed.

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” he leaned towards her to peck her lips, before going back into the bathroom. He came back a minute later wearing a fresh pair of pants and shutting off the light after himself. “Oh wait,” he stopped in his tracks, looking at her with furrowed brows, “what about the dress you got for The Brits?”

“Ohhh that’s a good idea!” she exclaimed, grinning automatically. She did more smiling today than any other time, her cheeks actually started to ache earlier. “Do you think it’ll be alright?”

“It’s a gown, right?” he asked, shrugging. “And from what I remember it’s really pretty.”

“Yeah, you’re a bit of a genius,” she admitted, looking at him appreciatively. “I knew there was a reason why I married you.”

“Yeah, cheers,” he sniggered with fake offence, sitting at his side of the bed, with his back to his wife and reaching for his phone.

Lucy watched him fumble with it for a bit, probably responding to some messages, before she got up to her knees and crawled over to him, putting her arms around his torso from behind.

“You okay? Seemed pretty quiet during dinner,” she said quietly, putting her chin on his shoulder and looking at the side of his face. After she was done with a press conference and one or two more interviews after her win, they went for a celebratory dinner with their families, friends and her team, where surprisingly, Niall wasn’t his usual charming self, talking only when asked, even spacing out a few times.

Niall furrowed his brows slightly and reached to put his phone back on the bedside table. He hummed before speaking. “Yeah, just tired. I also have a bit of a headache, from sitting in the sun, I think.” He looked at her and when she didn’t seem entirely convinced, he planted a sweet kiss on her lips. “Aren’t you tired? Or are you still buzzing with adrenaline? Will you be able to sleep?”

She rested her forehead on his shoulder, not wanting to put distance between them yet. “Still buzzing a bit, but I think once my head hits the pillow, I’ll be out, cause I am genuinely wiped out. I think I’m getting old.”

Niall snickered at that, maneuvering their bodies so they faced each other. “You are most definitely not getting old,” he said, putting both his hands on her cheeks. “Don’t forget that I’m older than you and I am definitely not anywhere near being old.” He gave her another kiss and for a second Lucy felt like he wanted to convey something with it, something he didn’t want to say out loud, but she had no idea what and she didn’t want to push him with questions. So she just kissed him back, trying to somehow transfer all the love she had for him.

~~

The last two days, since Lucy’s Saturday triumph, were crazy. The Champions’ Dinner was the best party she had ever been to, even though she was stressing about the tradition that was Champions’ dance, during which the male and female winners were supposed to dance together, but seeing that the men’s champion was Alexander, her worry almost disappeared, as he was someone she’s known for years, him being a year younger than her, they’ve seen each other around since playing as juniors, he had always been a laugh. It was actually incredibly nice to share that night with him, as they were both first time Wimbledon champions. Other than that, she had quite a few interviews and tv appearances as the champion.

So in the evening, they were sitting on the sofa, eating takeaway, because when they finally got home, none of them felt like cooking.

“Niall, since when do we not talk to each other?” Lucy said putting her plate down, done with the silence, but it was about more than just this moment.

“Hm?” he finally snapped his head up and looked at his wife. He barely said a word since they left the filming studio. He wanted to tag along today, it was his idea, but truth be told, he had been kind of distant since they came back after Wimbledon final. It was like he had been swallowed by his thoughts, engrossed in his own mind.

“You’ve been by my side for the past two days, but it’s like you’re lost inside your own head. And you keep giving me this weird look, last night at dinner and all through today…” Lucy noticed those things right away, having learned his body language and all the different cues after years together. But now, she was tired of waiting for him to speak up and say what is going on in his mind. “And I don’t know what it is, but you’ve never looked at me like that before. And I don’t like it,” she admitted, although she never thought she wouldn’t like the way Niall looked at her, but it was very far from his usual soft gaze. “It’s like you’re thinking something over or having regrets or.. I don’t know,” she shrugged, feeling a bit hopeless. “I don’t want to push you, but I’m worried and I’d just want to know what’s going on. We’re supposed to be open and honest, always. So please, just tell me what’s worrying you, baby.”

Niall hung down his head once again. He knew she’d pick up on his behaviour, the same way he could always tell when her head was spinning with thoughts. And it wasn’t like he had been trying to keep something from her, he just didn’t know what to say, how to breach the topic. However, he wasn’t aware she had been worrying about him like that.

“It’s just…” he started, but paused right away, licking his lips, putting his plate down on the table, eyes focused on his lap, where he started fidgeting with his fingers. “I think that maybe you should reconsider your retirement,” he said after a beat, lifting his head but still not exactly looking at her.

“What? Why?” she said truly confused and shocked. He had her full attention even before, but now she was looking at him with furrowed brows, trying to inspect everything about him, looking for any clues he might give.

“Well, do you not want to play longer?” he asked, eventually meeting her gaze, rubbing his palms over his jeans, because they began to feel clammy. “You know you could, the past two weeks just proved that.”

She was silent for a minute, trying to collect her thoughts, think of a reason why he would want her to keep competing. His eyes were darting around, like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to watch her or avoid her gaze.

“Are you having doubts about us?” she asked eventually, starting to mindlessly twist the wedding band on her finger.

“What?” Now he was the one completely thrown off, his brows creasing and nose scrunching, which was an expression he had when he was concentrating, and one of her favourites, but not in this situation. At least the question made him truly look her in the eyes, focus on her.

“Now that we could actually settle down, spend most of the time together and not be constantly scattered around the world, does it scare you?” Lucy elaborated, trying to explain her worry.

“No, fuck, Lulu, why would you think that?” he exclaimed right away, almost offended by her question.

“Well, what am I supposed to think, Niall?” She slightly raised her voice as well. “I thought we were both excited for this, to build more of a home together, to not have to miss each other all the time and say goodbye every other week or month. And now you’re basically saying that maybe I should keep going around the globe playing tennis, being away from you, so what should I think?” She started gesticulating, throwing her hands around a bit, shrugging with that last question.

“It’s not that at all, Jesus,” he huffed, his hand going up to rake through his hair. “I don’t know, maybe you should know I love you, huh? I mean, we are married and all that...” His voice wasn’t particularly loud, none of them were screaming, but they were both clearly agitated, their voices rough, almost piercing.

“Yeah, but that’s all we know. Me travelling 10 months a year, you going back and forth between LA and London, or New York, or touring the globe,” she pointed out. “Trying to have little moments here and there, but not being together all year round. Probably not even half of it. And maybe that’s not what you want, maybe you didn’t think about it, when you asked me to marry you. I don’t know,” her voice was becoming more and more thick with emotions, but now that she had all those horrible, scary thoughts in her head, she couldn’t stop it.

“Stop!” he blurted, not even loudly, but sternly, which made Lucy snap out of her spinning state. “Okay? Just stop saying those things,” his face was contorted, almost like he couldn’t listen to the things she had been saying, like he was in pain because of her words. “What about the months when your knee was fucked up? Didn’t we spend every day together then? Was I running away scared? Did I not love having you home? How can you even… Fuck!” Both his hands were in his hair, tagging frustratingly. He closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath, before speaking again, this time much more calmly. “Let’s not even go there, okay? Cause it’s not about that, at all. I’d love nothing more than to have you with me as much as possible. You’ve got to know that, Lulu.” That last sentence was let out as a plea, which made Lucy’s heart squeeze painfully inside her chest.

She did know that, of course she did. And yet, she didn’t know how else she could explain his earlier statement.

“Well, then what is it? Why do you think I should reconsider?” she asked, not wanting to guess again, her first theory leading them into a fight.

“Because you just won fucking Wimbledon, Lulu!” Niall shouted, his hands flying up. He wasn’t necessarily angry, but his voice was a humourless laugh.

“Yeah, I know, I was there,” she said with a smile, not really bothered by his outburst. “It was pretty great, but I still don’t see your point, baby.”

He just screamed at her, but right now she was nothing but calm and level headed. He calmed her worst fears that came with his question, so she wasn’t stressed anymore. But he was exasperated, so it was her turn to get rid of any worries he clearly had.

He took another deep breath, Lucy scooted closer to him on the couch, reaching for his hand and tracing figures on his palm in support and reassurance.

“It was your biggest dream, you always said so. And now you’ve done it and you’re just gonna quit playing two months later?” Niall finally asked in disbelief, looking closely at her, as if searching for something, any trace of hesitation. “Don’t you think of other things you could still achieve? What about French Open? Don’t you want to have all the Slams?”

“Niall,” she said so tenderly, all his previous anger just evaporated hearing her voice like that. She put a hand on his cheek to make sure he will hear her every word and see her true intentions and feelings. “Yeah, I won Wimbledon. It was amazing and I never thought it would actually happen. Do I think I could have another big win? Yeah, maybe,” she admitted with a shrug, at which Niall opened his mouth to speak, but she simply put slightly more pressure on his cheek and continued. “But there’s also no guarantee it will happen. And I don’t want to spend another year or two or three or however long, chasing something that I don’t need. I haven’t managed to win French in the ten years I’ve been playing, so what’s to say I’ll win it now? I’m not the best on clay and that’s okay. Sure, it would have been incredible to win all four Slams. But I want to appreciate the success I had, not think of something I maybe could have had. I achieved way more than I ever dreamt of. So that’s more than enough for me.”

Her words were as earnest as possible, her eyes not leaving his, the corner of her lips gently tugged upwords. She really meant every word and a part of Niall already knew that, but his mind still wasn’t put at ease, he felt like his head had been spinning with too many thoughts since Saturday. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy about her winning, if there was anyone rooting for Lucy, it was always Niall, he took more pleasure from her successes than his own. But this one came with a lot of doubts.

“I just…,” Niall pulled away slightly, feeling the need to put a bit of distance between them for his next words. He kept his one hand inside hers, but the other tugged at his hair frustratedly. “I don’t want you to wake up someday and regret it. And resent me or our life together or our kids for not playing longer, for not going for more. Cause it would break my heart, Lulu, I don’t think I could live with that thought,” he finally said his biggest worry out loud, his eyes beginning to cloud.

Lucy gasped at his confession. The fact that Niall may have that worry didn’t even cross her mind. She was baffled, instantly feeling sick knowing that he’s been turning it over in his head for two days, when her stomach turned upside down just at the thought.

She squeezed his hand to bring his attention back to her, her own eyes filling up with tears. “Hey, come on, I could never ever resent you. Or our potential future children. I love you, baby,” her voice almost broke at the end and Niall didn’t even wait a second before enveloping her into a hug. She instantly climbed into his lap, hiding her face in his chest, breathing in his scent, before pulling away slightly to continue talking. “And even after winning, the thought to keep playing hasn't even crossed my mind. Which just means I’m ready to go.”

He looked at her, in his arms, both of them keeping eye contact, as if trying to look into each other’s souls or send an unspoken message.

Niall sighed after a minute, unwinding one of his hands from around her waist to run it over his face and rub his eyes.

“I just kept watching you being so happy these past days, and you’ve been asked about it in every interview and just…” he shook his head lightly, trying to take comfort in a hand she was rubbing over his arm and not get riled up again. “I’d never want to hold you back, I hope you know that.”

Lucy bit her lip, her heart soaring and aching at the same time. She was overwhelmed by the amount of love he had for her. There wasn’t a single doubt in her mind that he would sacrifice everything for her own happiness. If only she wanted him to. It was bewildering to know that someone loved you this much. So much it was almost incomprehensible.

She licked her lips, thinking over her answer. She knew Niall had nothing to worry about, that his doubts weren’t even a possibility to her, but she didn’t want to make him feel silly, as it was a genuine concern that he was entitled to. Just because she knew there was absolutely no way that what he was worried about would ever happen, didn’t mean he was wrong for worrying about it. But now it was her job to make those doubts go away.

She grabbed his neck and spoke with a voice so confident that it’d hopefully get rid of all his doubts. “Yeah, they kept asking about it, but what did I say to that, hm? Every time they asked me about it, what did I say?” she looked at him expectantly until he sighed with defeat.

“That you’re incredibly excited for your life outside the court,” he said, pulling her closer, no space left between their bodies now.

“And?” she asked, a smile forming on her lips.

“And that you look forward to spending time with your husband,” he answered, his face finally mirroring hers, the furrow in his brows disappearing, his lips turning upwards.

“And I meant that,” she said earnestly, sealing her words with a kiss on his lips. “Cause I do want to focus on other things. I want to go on tour with you, watch you pour your heart out in front of thousands of people every night and wait for a sweaty hug right off the stage, like you do whenever you watch me play.” At that his smile grew wider, his nose crinkling cutely. “And I want to start working outside the court, maybe even have my hand in training another British Wimbledon champion, who knows,” she laughed at that prospect, because it barely seemed real, but Niall squeezed her waist as if to let her know it doesn’t have to be a joke. “I want to have a somewhat normal house life and yeah, have some children with you,” she shrugged, both of them looking at each other with admiration. “That’s what I’m most excited about right now. Besides, you know my knee’s been starting to act up and I don’t want to risk it getting worse. And I’d hate to have to quit because of an injury, I want to go on my own terms.”

Niall didn’t want to dwell on it any longer, so he focused on the latter part of her speech. “Do you think our child could be a Wimbledon champion? Could you actually imagine it?” he asked with a grin, probably already imagining little blond haired versions of themselves running around with tennis rackets in their hands.

Lucy laughed. “Well, I’d say our child could be anyone they’d want. Even Wimbledon champion.” She leaned in for a much needed kiss, but all he gave her was a peck, his head apparently filled with thoughts he just had to share now.

“That would be quite sick, actually.” His eyes were shining while looking at her, not even really focused, like he was picturing their future. “Mummy and daughter. Or son. Maybe you could even present the trophy!” He got so excited, Lucy could do nothing but laugh. How did they go from nearly fighting to making their potential child a champion, she didn’t know, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. “No, but seriously, would you be okay with our child playing? Professional? Would you like to be a coach?” He turned serious, focusing on her once more to gauge her reaction.

“If they wanted to play, of course I’d be fine with it. I’d worry and warn them about things, but I wouldn’t stop or discourage them. But I would not train them. I mean, I might be like a co-coach. Or an advisor.” How he coaxed her into actually discussing it, she did not know, but it was a power of his, making her want to do anything that got him this happy and excited. “But I wouldn’t be able to draw a line between being a mum and a coach. I’ve seen a lot of this on tour, and it’s not always bad, but not everyone is right for that. I know I’m not,” she admitted, shrugging. “But I would never push our children to play tennis. Okay, I might teach them how to play, but like for fun, not as a career.”

To Niall it didn’t seem possible that there was something his wife wouldn’t be able to do. She was a super human.

“I think once they see how awesome you were on court, they might want to be just like mummy,” he said with a grin, pinching her waist playfully.

“Well, let’s hope they won’t aspire to be like daddy,” she chuckled.

“Heeeeeey,” Niall whined with mock offense.

“Get bras and knickers thrown at them on stage.”

“Hahahaha, it’s not actually the best feeling,” he admitted.

“Okay, let’s stop this talk about children, before you get any actual ideas, because I do still have a few tournaments to play and whatnot.” She patted his chest and made a move to climb off his lap, but he only tightened his hold on her, not letting her go anywhere.

“But you do want to have some, right? Like, sooner than, let’s say, ten years from now?” He asked, genuinely curious as they never discussed it properly. Children had been mentioned here and there, but nothing more deliberate.

“Yeah, I do.” She nodded, a gentle smile gracing her lips.

“Okay. ‘Cause I want that too.” He leaned down to kiss her, properly this time, releasing all the earlier insecurities and frustrations into the kiss.

When their lips parted, Lucy combed her fingers through his hair, before speaking again, the subject of children bringing another thing to the front of her mind. “But first, I was actually thinking of buying a new house,” she admitted. “We talked about it when we got engaged and I think I’d actually want one now. I love this one, but I don’t know, I’d kinda like to get a new one, start a proper home once I’m done.”

She loved the home they were in now, it was the place where most of the important moments happened in their relationship, with Niall having it since before they even started dating. It was here where he said he loved her for the first time. He asked her to marry him here. They came back home to each other time and time again here. But it also wasn’t exactly ideal. The problem was never the fact that it was theoretically his house, not theirs. It just wasn’t a house she wanted to grow old in. She loved it, but it wasn’t theirs, not in the sense of ownership, but in a scene of making it personal. She also wanted a space that would truly be theirs, from the beginning, where none of them ever lived alone.

But it seemed like she didn’t have to even try to explain it to him, his face lighting up with a soft smile, planting a kiss on her cheek before speaking. “Yeah. I actually love that idea.”

~~~~~~

Lucy was able to stay home in London for over two weeks, before she had to travel to Montreal. It made her more than happy because it meant she was with Niall for One Direction's fifteenth anniversary, which was also the day the news about the band’s comeback were being released, with their new single coming out two days later. The announcement was planned to go out at 8pm UK time, but they all decided to have dinner and spend that evening together, meeting at Louis and Eleanor’s house. When they arrived, Liam and his wife, Maya were already there, Harry and Ines, his girlfriend of three years, arriving only a few minutes later. They’ve met like that before quite a few times, sometimes with Louis’ and Liam’s kids running around, so Lucy was more than acquainted with everyone, feeling completely at ease.

Even though the meal was delicious, they were all so excited and nervous, they couldn’t even sit still. Lucy noticed Niall’s knee bouncing two minutes after they sat at the table, putting her hand on his tight to at least try and calm him down.

“Fuck, I don’t think I can do this, can we tell the world now?” Louis whined, throwing his head back exasperatedly.

“I am honestly so stressed right now,” Harry joined in.

There was no missing of the group’s anxiety, everyone looking around, checking the time every few minutes.

“The food is delicious, but I think I might actually throw up,” Liam said, his body slacking against the chair.

“How about some stronger drinks to calm down? Or shots?” Eleanor proposed, all of them drinking beer or wine with dinner.

There was an instant chorus of agreement, Louis getting up to fix the drinks. They all moved from the table to lounge on the couches, none of them able to stomach any more food, no sounds in the room other than the soft music playing in the background and a quiet murmur of a few words shared between them.

“Okay, let’s do it!” Louis exclaimed, coming back with a tray full of shots.

“Cheers!” The boys said in unison once everyone grabbed a glass. The alcohol burned Lucy’s throat, her eyes screwing shut for a minute.

“Another one?” Niall proposed, not even a second later.

Lucy shook her head, watching her alcohol intake, as always when she was in the middle of the season, Maya also refused, but everyone else downed another glass, leaving two full ones meant for the girls. Liam and Niall looked at each other, before shrugging their shoulders at exactly the same time and grabbing another glass.

“How much longer?” Ines asked, looking around in search of some clock.

“Twenty eight minutes,” Niall replied after checking his watch.

“Oh, I can’t believe I almost forgot, congrats on Wimbledon once again, Lucy, that was absolutely amazing,” Maya said with a smile.

Everyone in the room either texted or called her or Niall on the day she won, but that acknowledgement face to face was nice.

“Thank you, it was crazy,” she gave a grateful smile, after everyone added their congrats, Niall throwing an arm around her shoulders to bring her closer. She caught the proud look he was giving her and put a hand on his knee in an appreciative manner.

“Do you think we could come watch you play in the US Open?” Harry asked, redirecting his attention to Niall right after. “We’re free then, right?”

“Yeah, I made sure of that,” he confirmed proudly.

“Umm…” Lucy hesitated for a second, trying to explain how it works. “Yeah, I can get you tickets, no problem, it’s just hard to plan it a little bit, because I don’t know how deep I’ll go.” She didn’t want them to be bored at the first round match, but she also couldn’t predict when her last match would be. It still felt surreal, that she would play her last game in less than two months.

“How incredible would it be if you won that one too?” Liam asked with a grin.

“Mental,” Louis agreed.

“I reckon she could do it,” said Eleanor, looking at Lucy with confidence.

Because their bodies were touching, Lucy could easily feel Niall’s body tensing in reaction to the conversation, the memory of their recent fight still fresh in both of their minds. She didn’t turn her head to get a better look at him, but squeezed his knee as a reminder that it wouldn’t change anything for her.

“Don’t bet any money on me, though”, she laughed, before changing the subject. “Are you walking any fashion weeks this year, Maya?”

While she listened to the answer, Niall reached for her hand splayed on his knee, slotting their fingers together in a silent thank you. That’s how they spent the next couple of minutes, trying to keep conversation going, Louis making sure everyone had a drink in their hand. There was a nervous tension in the room, even though they knew what would happen, all the posts queued up, the reaction they would get was a question mark. They could only hope, basing their expectations on previous love they always got from their fans. But it had been years and things changed, yet it was impossible to prepare for disappointment.

“Oh shit, just one more minute,” Louis said, looking at the time on his phone.

“Let’s count it down!” Ines proposed.

So they did, the last ten seconds, just like on New Year’s Eve. To think of it, there were some similarities, looking forward to something new, things changing, entering a new era almost. When they came to zero, you could almost hear a pin drop. It only took a second for all of the guys’ phones to go off, indicating one notification after the other. They were all stood in a circle, their respective better halves right next to them. Lucy had her arm around Niall’s waist, looking through his shoulder to read some of the comments, the whole world starting to freak out. There wasn’t one person in the room who didn’t have a huge grin on their faces. The women look proudly at their men, knowing how hard they worked, how much love and passion they put into the band. It seemed like all the guys looked up at each other at the same moment, taking deep breaths and stepping closer to wrap one another in their famous four way hug. Eleanor wrapped her arm around Lucy’s shoulder, who looked at the other woman happily, noticing tears pulling in her eyes. She reached her other hand for Ines, who also grabbed Maya and they just stood like that for a minute. The band squeezing each other and whispering excitedly among themselves, while their lovers embraced as well, forming their own little group, looking at their loved ones with so much awe, their eyes glistening with emotion.

After a minute, Harry pulled slightly away, looking behind him at the women. “Come on, get in here, girls,” he said, beckoning them over.

So they joined them, each one next to their man, Lucy squeezed between Niall and Ines. They were all holding each other tightly, a one of a kind bond. There was no comparing it to what those four guys had, but they all felt like family. They were all connected and none of them would have it any other way, forming genuine friendships they all cherished.

Niall twisted his head to the side to kiss Lucy on the crown of her head, before she turned her head as well to meet him in a proper kiss. They were both so happy, they couldn’t stop smiling, their teeth clicking against each other. But they were just so ecstatic. There were no words to describe the feeling. And Niall’s happiness was through the roof, because he was so appreciative to share that moment with Lucy. Nothing could beat having her with him, being able to share it, because it felt like a once in a lifetime thing. Having her to support him and calm him down when needed, and now to share that joy with her. He truly felt like, if she wasn’t there beside him, he wouldn’t be as happy as he was. And maybe that was wrong, maybe he shouldn’t feel like that, but he did. Because his wife made everything better. It was that simple. Seeing her proud and smiling, made the whole situation better. Sharing anything with the people you love makes it better. Whether it’s sadness, problems, successes or happiness. And there was no better thing to share than love.

September 2025

It was impossible to prepare for a moment like this, Lucy thought finally walking back into the hotel room in New York. It was after 3am. She finished playing, her last professional match ever, about an hour and a half ago. Even after the little goodbye ceremony after her loss and a press conference, it still didn’t feel completely real. She had quite a few of those farewell moments, almost at every tournament she played this year. She knew what was coming, after all she made that decision in December. Maybe it was because she didn’t know which match would be her last, didn’t know how far she'd go, just happy with every win she got.

She felt such a mixture of emotions, it was hard to wrap her head around it all. The goodbye she got was amazing, the organizers playing a little video of all the years she competed, including her triumph on Flashing Meadows, and messages from fellow players. She felt a bit sad, but she always did when she lost. A bit proud, because she didn’t go without a fight, the match an over two hour, three sets battle. Excited because a part of her was waiting for that moment, when she’ll be able to truly think about the future and focus on upcoming projects. But most of all, she was simply appreciative. That she had such a good season, that she was able to play every tournament she wanted, that she gave it her all and was able to keep playing on a good level, that after finishing this last game, she was able to look out into the crowd (who was giving her a standing ovation) and not only see Niall, but also her parents, Mia, Harry, Liam and Maya.

Once the door to their hotel room closed, Lucy was exhausted. She had a quick shower right after the match, so technically she could go straight to bed, but her mind was buzzing.

“Lulu,” Niall said, leaving his shoes by the door and walking up to her, his hands going to her waist immediately, to bring her close to him, “how are you feeling?”

Lucy rested her head on his chest, quiet for a moment, trying to make sense of her mumbled thoughts. “I… I’m feeling good?” she said, but it sounded more like a question. “It’s… surreal, still. Maybe ask me tomorrow?”

“Of course.” He cemented his words with a caring kiss to the crown of her head.

“But I’m okay, really,” she assured him. “Kinda sad, kinda happy. Relieved?” Her answer was more like a question again, like she was looking for a right answer, but wasn’t sure if it was one. “I don’t know, it doesn’t really seem like it’s the end yet, you know, that I won’t play like this again.”

He hummed, thinking for a quick second before asking another question, “are you going to miss it?”

“Yeah, probably,” she shrugged. “It’s going to be weird, not having to train, no tournaments to prepare for or look forward to. But it’ll be fun to see what’s ahead, you know? Slow down a bit, maybe, explore other things in life. And spend time with you, obviously. Watch you and the band. It’s gonna be good, baby.”

“Will you miss your team?”

“Oh yeah, definitely. But I hope we’ll keep in touch. Maybe work together again, you know, if I open that training centre or if we get someone to manage… Who knows.”

He nodded, “I’m really proud of you, you know? I’m in awe of your decision, to do things your way.”

“Thank you. It was the right call, I can tell. The next few months will be weird, I’m sure, but it’ll be worth it. I’m actually really excited to see what’s to come.”

Tennis was all she knew. In a way, it became her routine. Sure, there were some tournaments changes, but it was also pretty much the same for years upon years, ten months of traveling, playing here and there, hard court, clay, grass, then hard court again. A quick vacation after that before going back to training full force to prepare for the next season. Over and over again. And now, thinking about the future might have been scary, but it was also nice to do something new. Have a fresh mind. Have an option of doing something else, an opportunity to just travel by Niall’s side for a bit. To focus on something other than tennis. To explore what else she might be good at.

“Oh, could you maybe ask Harry and Liam to join us for dinner on Thursday? With the girls, of course. Louis is still in California, right?” She was pretty sure she mentioned something about it when they talked after the match, but her tiredness and emotions made it hard to focus. She also asked her manager to actually organise it, make a reservation at the restaurant and all, so she didn’t know any specifics yet.

“Of course, don’t worry, they know it’s happening, I’ll send them the details in the morning. And yes, Tommo is still there, he’s meeting us in LA.”

They had a few more days off, the guys had to be in Los Angeles on Monday to do some promo for their reunion and second single, Niall made sure to book time off for all two weeks of the US Open, but because she had lost in the quarterfinals, it was just Tuesday, well, very early hours of Wednesday, giving them some time to relax.

“Let’s go to bed, yeah?” he proposed, planting another kiss on her head, her arms still tight around his waist, her cheek pressed to his body, so close she could feel his heartbeat underneath it.

She shook her head slightly, pulling away to look at him. “I can’t, my mind is spinning. I need it to stop first.” She put one of her hands up to tread through his hair, before cradling his cheek. She then raised up onto her tiptoes to join their lips, the kiss starting slow, but growing more passionate with every lick into his mouth. Her hand travelling under his shirt and the other going back to his hair to tug at it slightly, let him know exactly what she meant. “Are you too tired?” she asked parting for a second to catch her breath, before moving to work on the delicious skin of his neck.

Seeing his wife like that always did things to Niall. It wasn’t even about her having very clear intentions, but how he knew she wanted him to take care of her. How she needed him. Lucy was an absolute beast on court, Niall’s favourite text to send her before a match was “go get them, tiger”. But after the game was finished, especially after a tough battle, she was nothing but gentle. In desperate need of hugs, kisses and someone to take care of her. It wasn’t the first time they had sex in a situation like that, her needing to quiet her thoughts, but also to give up control, after having been so focused and alone on court.

And right now was no different, she wanted to get lost in Niall, needing the quiet only he could bring her.

“Never too tired to help you,” he assured, grabbing her neck gently to pull her lips back to his. To Niall, there was no bigger compliment than this, this incredible woman not only counting on him, but giving herself to him completely, body and soul.

And as he grabbed her thighs to pick her up and carry her to the bed, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind, that he would take care of her. In the best possible way.

taglist: @stylishmuser​ @verorax​ @georgiahoranxx​ @exoticniall​

[crashingwavesinmyworld]

Riverdale Review

Wow I can’t believe I actually missed this show lol. It’s so ridiculous but 95% of it so entertaining I can’t stop watching

But this episode actually had me emotional 😭😭 I feel so horribly for Veronica. Especially when she sang that song not knowing it was Archie’s song for Betty I cried so hard. And when she told him she loved him, it just reminded me of how hard it was for her to say it before, and now that same person she finally let herself be vulnerable with betrayed her, and with one of her best friends of all people. And I’m also really angry that Archie still wasn’t fully honest with her either. Like they may have just kissed once(not counting the staged kiss that Veronica knew about) but they were meeting in secret, that one romantic dance sequence that I know wasn’t real but like he actually had feelings for Betty and he wasn’t straight up about this, it doesn’t matter if he was just confused or not. I’m still so mad that this plot had to happen in the first place. They could have still had Varchie go their separate ways because of Archie’s fear of holding her back/long distance, Why was the cheating necessary? It’s just so unfair to Veronica she deserves so much better. And I know that this isn’t as important but like it sucks to see another one of my OTPS get destroyed by cheating. It doesn’t matter what happens in the future because that will always be the elephant in the room. Like, my OTP on Degrassi (Zaya) got tainted by cheating too and as much as I still love them, it’s still hard to look at them the same. Thankfully I wasn’t as attached to Varchie but it still hurts because I genuinely loved them for a long time. I don’t even hate them now I’m just upset and frustrated and I don’t even care if they end up together now I just want them both to be happy but mostly Veronica. Also, I love Mary but can she stop saying endgame now this goes for any character it’s so cringe please. Even if it weren’t for what Archie did that line still would have bugged me lol

Last thing about Archie, his boxing plot is so boring I just...do not care...and hope he doesn’t change his mind and decide to do the academy because it’s just so boring I wanted to fall asleep thanks

Okay onto Cheryl/Toni. I’m SO happy we met one of Toni’s family members. She has every right to be wary of a Cheryl cuz of her family, and I feel so bad for both of them because Toni wants to be loyal to her family but also to Cheryl. But honestly, I’m in favor of right now Toni having her own life outside Cheryl. I love them together but they both need to grow on their own and we need to learn more about Toni outside of Cheryl. This was a step in the right direction but we still need a solo Toni Plot without Cheryl involved, and also have her interacting with other characters. As much as I don’t like the Serpents, (mainly cuz of the overuse of Jughead in the storyline, I love him but he was so obnoxious then) it was interesting to see Toni bring it up again wanting to be the leader and I’m curious to see where that goes. My heart did break for Cheryl too though, when she was crying in the end about being alone and it being her curse, I feel that way all the time 😭😭😭 It did bother me though when she visited Toni’s aunt without her permission. At this point Cheryl thought the issue was that they are LGBT, and Cheryl visiting was basically outing Toni. (Correct me if I’m wrong I can’t remember if her aunt already knew and was just unaccepting or if Toni wasn’t out to her yet) But it’s actually besides the point it could have created a huge problem for Toni. This is another reason why they need to grow on their own, a problem Cheryl has is she tends to overstep and do things without thinking about the consequences. Which, is realistic and is true for more than just her character, but still, it’s something she needs to grow from. On a positive note though Choni looked stunning in their prom dresses and I’m glad they won prom queens 💕💕 Also on another positive note I am glad they were able to split them up without irreparable damage in a realistic way that wouldn’t taint either character or their relationship. Idk why they couldn’t do that with Bughead and Varchie but I’m glad they could do that with Choni.

Okay onto the Betty and Jughead Plot. They were SO cute before/during their prom pictures 💖💖💖 their actual plot was okay, classic Bughead but nothing really new or exciting and honestly when Jellybean turned up at the rave I thought she was gonna be behind it all or at least a part of it and I’m glad she wasn’t but it would explain why she’s barely around. As much as I wouldn’t want her to be a villain, it would have been an interesting plot twist and given her something to do at least. God though I wish Bughead (and all the characters) could have just had one nice dance without weird shit happening but that’s the Riverdale way lol. I still can’t figure out whose doing this but we did see Brett in jail, I honestly can’t remember what happened to Donna in her last appearance but maybe she’s behind it some how? Or one of the other Stonewall kids but I really don’t know. It’s funny how they at first assumed Reggie did it lmao. Anyway, i guess for Bughead I should address that Jughead still doesn’t know yet about the cheating. What bugs me about this is that Archie said that he and Betty “swore” not to tell. I don’t remember that happening, must have been offscreen and I get it, they don’t wanna hurt them and at least with Betty I can believe she actually loves Jughead and wants a future with him, based on every interaction they’ve had since that whole fiasco, it’s almost like nothing ever happened and if it weren’t for Betty’s face during Veronica singing the song I honestly would have forgotten until Archie mentioned it tbh, (based on Bughead scenes only) but with Varchie scenes it was obvious something was off with Archie. And like it didn’t even seem like Archie wanted to fight for Veronica, I don’t know if it’s because he already thought he was holding her back, I mean, the reason he even told her the truth was because she said she wanted to stay in town with him instead of going to college, with or without the cheating he clearly didn’t want to hold her back. I feel like that’s the likely reason but like, the Archie’s stiff demeanor and awkwardness before the confession could have been explained as guilt but afterwards, he still acted so indifferent like he didn’t care much. He didn’t even cry. Like. It was just weird, but I don’t imagine that happening with Bughead. The thing is though, if Betty really did swear to never tell him, then that really makes it harder to believe they could make their future work whether they both want it to or not because if she can’t be honest, there is little hope. And now it will just look like when Jughead does find out it will only be because Veronica did, so it’s likely he won’t even hear it from Betty herself. I don’t think Veronica will tell him because her and Archie agreed not to but with all the creepiness going on he could find out another way, but I WANT to believe Betty confesses on her own. I actually think it could be Archie that convinces Betty to tell or maybe even he will tell Jughead because in the promo for the next episode Betty’s asking Archie what’s wrong. Jughead is also present, maybe they both tell him together. I hope that’s the case because I think something the writers have largely forgotten is the Core 4 Friendships. They barely interact one on one or even as a group it’s either the couples off together or throughout some of season 4 it was Cheryl/Veronica or Veronica and her parents and Betty/Charles but like no Beronica or Jughead/Archie, Hell even the Betty/Archie friendship was nonexistent before their random affair. If not only the relationships but the friendships can ever be repaired they need to be honest. All of them with each other. I mean I guess it’s kind of good those friendships haven’t on screen because they still would have been keeping that secret acting like all was fine and we already got Betty doing that to Jughead/Archie with Veronica until this ep so it would have been awful to see Betty do that to Veronica and Archie to Jughead, But like they’re still lying to them and they need to stop. All the truth needs to come out.

Also in the promo for next week it shows the Archie/Hiram conflict is back and like there is actually a good reason for it this time but I also just cannot bring myself to care because they overdid that shit in seasons 2-3 and like he has every right to call Archie out and that doesn’t bother me but the violence does because it’s really unnecessary and once again they already have overdone that and I know it’s possible Archie is 18 now but like Hiram’s obsession with terrorizing teenagers is creepy and if this was the first time he did if it wouldn’t bother me because Archie cheated on his daughter so his anger makes sense but he was already trying to kill Archie before for no good reason for 2 seasons straight so like, I can’t get behind this. Just call him out on his shit then move on. And please no more fights or boxing matches please I’m begging you. (For the record I know the promo could have been misleading but it did look like Hiram was trying to beat him up. Now like if Reggie or Jughead wanted to beat him up or fight him I wouldn’t be so bothered but Hiram is an adult and he’s been such a shitty father even if his anger is justified he’s hurt Veronica twice as much so he can sit down tbh). If this is them trying to redeem him for protecting Veronica or something it’s not the way to do it.

Anyway wow this was long. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a show to look forward to. As crazy as Riverdale is I’m glad it’s back and am excited for next week but am not prepared for my Bughead heart to break either 😭 at least Choni aren’t on bad terms and Varchie can’t hurt me anymore than this episode did

[okimargarvez]

IT’S NOT THE END

Original title: It’s not the end.

Prompt: someone has a special gift for Penelope.

Warning: what if for first episodes of season 15.

Genre: drama, action, family, romantic.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, BAU team.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 65 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💏😘🔦.

Song mentioned: La fine, Tiziano Ferro.

GARVEZ STORIES

Note: I written this story based on the promo and the promotional pics, before understanding the episode about the bomb would be the third. This is my version of the premiere. We are so close!

IT’S NOT THE END

 / The end will come, but it will not be the end \

The elevator doors open. The noise of the blonde woman's heels echoes throughout the building. She walks firmly, confident in her not so short dress and with that orange flower in her hair. Still, this is not her floor. She heads for a counter where another woman is waiting for her. -I have a package for you, Miss Garcia.- says the latter, bending over to pick up something bulky. She places it on the tabletop. The blonde's eyes watch it carefully. There is something strange in her expression, but understanding exactly what, here is the fun. They scrutinize every detail: the square shape, perhaps more rectangular, the red and anonymous ribbon (for many, perhaps, but not for her) that wraps it, making it look like a gift, perhaps even a welcome one. The gift of an admirer too shy to reveal himself.

After an apparently endless pause, she leans forward, approaching the object and the counter. She takes a few more seconds before reaching out, but still doesn't touch it. -For me?- her question is exactly as useless as it seems; just another way to delay, postpone that moment. Finally, her fingers touch the colored fabric. She sighs. -Was there also a note with it?- as expected, the other woman nods. She knew it had to be there. Just as she was sure of what she would find with her name written on it when that message appeared on her phone. There is something waiting for you.

Next to the package there is now an innocent looking card. Completely white. -Yes, it was about to come off. - but it didn't happen, no, it would have ruined his plans. She forces herself to take it in her hands and fits it under the tape.

She takes her leave with a simple glance. -Thanks, Paula.- she decides to take the elevator again. Better to avoid too many jolts and then... it is really very heavy and uncomfortable to carry. Just to touch it annoys her, but she can't risk putting it on the ground. She can't risk someone kicking it by mistake. There could be something fragile inside it... (even if from the weight it wouldn't be said). Or even worse. She comes down last, voluntarily, wobbling on her heels. She is too focused on her mission, to notice two eyes that stare at her carefully.

She is pondering whether to shut herself up in her office or in the one abandoned by Morgan, which no one has occupied since he left the team; because maybe she needs to feel him close at this moment. Even if she has no intention of disturbing him. And in the end, she decides to rely on the memory of her chocolate thunder. She manages to open the glass door with her foot, in a not very elegant but certainly practical way. She crosses the bullpen, climbs the stairs and just when she is about to cross the threshold of that place that she considers almost sacred, a voice behind her makes her jump. -Someone has a secret boyfriend?- in part because she didn't really expect it; partly because it's him.

The man goes around her until he stands exactly in front of her. He has an amused smile on his lips. He wears a light, striped shirt, which is strange by his standards. And as always, it's beautiful. -Luke!- she would like to be able to put a hand on her heart, which now beats wildly, for more than one reason together. -You almost make me fall...- but she has still that damned package in her hands, almost bigger than her.

The colleague suddenly stops chuckling. Now his eyes are also on that object, weighing up it, evaluating it. -Did you hear it too?- he asks, taking another step. The movement of the arms seems to suggest his intentions. It is easy for her to appear naive, there is no need to lie.

She tries to get away without being too noticed, but ends up against the door, which, being not locked, opens wide. -What?- she replies, simultaneously recovering balance. Without waiting for any invitation, he follows her inside. And, as he had done when he found her in the bat cave crying for Reid, he turns to close the door.

When he does it, he notices that the package is on the desk. -I'm not sure.- but the doubt is more than enough, for this reason he continues to proceed, with a slow and measured step, outwardly calm, towards her and towards the thing. Aware of making himself ridiculous, especially if it turns out that he is wrong and that his first impression was correct. For a moment he loses himself thinking about what he really wants. -Garcia, give me that note.- rarely they were been so close. The height difference and his dark look should be enough to convince her to collaborate. But she is damned stubborn.

She tears the cardboard from the package, risking to cut her hand. She tries hard to handle his piercing eyes. Only then will she be able to get rid of him. And she doesn't know how much time has left, if her theory is correct. She doesn’t even know why she has that fixed image in her head, that has hammered her without giving her respite since her gaze rested on the thing. -No, I don't understand why I should...- she says. But if her expression is resolute and convinced, not so her tone, which falters in several places. And of course, man notices it.

He goes around the desk, continuing the pursuit. The part of his activity with the fugitive team that he misses most. Study the prey, set the trap and hunt. Not that he has stopped since he was in BAU... only that it is no longer a job, but a hobby... -Garcia, don't oblige me to take it by force. - he threats her and there is no mischievous or erotic aftertaste, although this is a step that he would have liked to take many times. Put her to the test. See how long she can last.

She doesn't give up the note, she carries it behind her back, as if it were just a game. And she starts walking backwards, looking for an escape. Which, in the real, physical world, is not there. So, she tries another strategy. -Since you and Lisa have broken, you've gotten worse.- but the blow doesn’t hit the target as hoped. The only reaction she gets is a slight raising of his eyebrows. It would have been an unfair move, not something she usually does, to put personal feelings in the middle. Surely, he was still thinking about it, he suffered within himself; too little time had passed since that bomb had exploded, without warning. Or so it had seemed.

Not even an ounce of pain, however, peeps into those brown eyes. Just as his lips remain tense and don’t bend in a half smile. Nothing. And it has gained ground again. -This has nothing to do with it.- he only answers. She doesn't know what to replicate. The situation is exasperating her. When he is close to her, her neurons work slowly. But she can't forget why he followed her in there. That ticking. Concern overcomes everything. -So what? Do you know who sent it to you?- the blonde doesn’t nod, nor does she shake her head. Her eyes dance from one point to another of the room, of his face, of his body. Anxiety grows in that of Alvez. -Are you sure it's nothing dangerous?- here, he has said, he has laid his cards on the table. Often it happened to beating around the bush with her and in a sense it could also be fun. This time this is not suggested.

Since she doesn’t seem willing to give up, man quickly develops an alternative strategy, focusing directly on the main objective. -Wh... Why should I?- she just asks him, but despite being shaking (and if that's not a confirmation that she also suspects something, what else can it be?), she still manages to intercept his hands and stops him before he can grab the note.

They remain there, with their hands-on top of each other, without either of them making a subsequent move, for fear that when one will pull out, the other will take advantage of the slightest glimmer. -For the way you were bleached when this... was about to fall...- he can't call it by that name, he's pushed to use another term, the one that immediately appeared in his head -...this thing.- he moves a few fingers on the clearer ones, and he wouldn't know if he did it just trying to convince her. -Because I know you and I know when you are nervous and agitated.- this time she can't hold back. One of her annoyed grimaces escapes her. Like old days, when he called him Newbie. But that's not all: red cheeks and glittering eyes suggest more. -Like right now.- he adds, while his voice melts into softer, lower shades.

Maybe it was for that, maybe not, however the blonde takes her hand away from his, getting rid of him. He is almost sorry. -Profiler. Damn.- she comments, rolling her eyes, giving him the card. Even Luke's eyes take little time to realize the first obvious feature.

-Garcia, there is absolutely nothing here.- it is she, this time, forced to join him. She stands next to him, their hips touching each other for a moment, then she takes the note out of his hands, or almost, because he doesn’t give up and then guides hers.

She points out a hidden fold. But she knew it was there and this doesn’t go unnoticed to the agent. -Fold the two halves, like this.- an unequivocal image is formed thanks to that simple trick. A reptile. The long tongue, coiled in a spiral. And the tail wrapped in the same way. A dominant color, in various shades. But open to all existing possibilities. Fickle. Prone to change.

The man drops the card on the ground, like burning. -Oh fuck.- he glances at the blonde, who looks back at him. -It's a chameleon.- he says it aloud, to try to give it a shape, a sense, a reality. Because as long as the thing remains a symbol, an emblem, a bearer of dark meanings... its power will be infinite, uncontrollable. More than a human being, and it is good to remember that he is precisely a man, a living person, nothing supernatural.

He struggles to bring his eyes back to the blonde woman, who stands in complete silence. The world, today, must have got out of the wrong side of the bed... or the solar system. Everything is going against the ordinary. Garcia never keeps quiet, she always has something to express, to share with the world. And he usually doesn’t allow himself to be overwhelmed in this way by the unknown subjects they hunt. Not after Cullen, at least. And he has never seen he as anything more than a subspecies of a human being. Scum, to be exact. Perhaps, the last occasion he felt a real shiver of terror down his spine... was when he studied Scratch’s card, while Rossi was tormenting him, trying to convince him to join the BAU. Too bad that then it was his turn to witness the very little tragic and far more ridiculous end of that "monster". It wasn't the way he died that turned him into a pathetic homunculus. No, it had been as he had begged him, begged to spare him. He who had never wanted to take the burden of personally killing his victims, who had preferred to play with their deepest, hidden fears, rooted in childhood. -I know.- she only says, a low tone, barely audible, her gaze equally lost. She is terrified no less than he is. In about four years since he knew her, he has never seen her in a similar state before.

He only needs to turn around a few millimeters to find her face, her dark eyes protected by lenses and by an invisible but very resistant shield, which he has never been able to penetrate. -What did you say?- he asks, but it is not a real question, it is simply to continue their dance, their hunt, pursuit, only on another level.

In a canonical situation, she would avoid answering him in any way possible. And she would move, move away, increase the distance between their bodies, which instead are still in contact. -I know, I imagined it was for his part.- is what she says instead, a little more loudly than a little while ago, but always in a sad way, while her eyelids close slowly. That movement seems to last indefinitely, in Agent Alvez's mind.

A thousand hypotheses appear in front of him, speeding, not giving him time to read every single word well, they make up unthinkable, ridiculous scenarios, some really horrible. -What does this mean?- he is too upset and she is too close to not do something really surprising. -Do you have a lovely mailroom with one of the FBI's most wanted serial killers?- he grabs both her arms, a little above the elbow, forcing her to look at him, even if she was already about to do it. He needed it more than she did. Just as he needs an explanation, to see her shake her head, to deny. And that this is the truth. He will understand if she lies to him.

And the woman satisfies him, more or less. Her head remains perfectly still, unlike the lower lip, which begins to vibrate, almost endowed with its own life. Catalyzing all the attention on oneself. -N... No, it's just...- he increases his grip, squeezes harder, as if he were trying to squeeze the words out of her. And maybe it really is. -It’s just that he...- a man, a male being, he really seems so, when that pronoun comes out of her mouth, ambiguous, vague, which takes on the connotations that you want. -He sent me things.- she finally concludes. And now her lips are in good company. The tremor spreads throughout the female body, following a strange path, devoid of sense and logic. First her hands begin to be shaken, then her knees, her arms (and he with her) and finally her legs.

This alone prevents him from getting really pissed, even if it is Garcia and it is difficult to imagine being able to seriously argue with her, to discuss without traces of malice and joke, to shout something bad and unforgivable on her. More than difficult. -What the hell... How long?- he forces himself not to further strengthen his grip, because he risks of seriously hurting her. He knows his strength, he knows what he can do with those hands, those muscles. For years they have been his real working tool, rather than weapons. And he won't take advantage of it with her. Never.

But she is so scared, now that she has dropped the first wall, that she can only stutter, the same word, indefinitely. - A few... A few...- sighing, counting up to one thousand four hundred and sixty, about the days since they know each other (about), the man manages to calm down just enough not to go further. Beyond the unknown, ifs, buts and perhaps.

He proceeds by exclusion, putting the words in her mouth, contenting himself with her head shakes as an answer. -Weeks?- no. -Months?- the abyss of horror opens up more and more, trying to separate them, to suck her away from him, to bring her into its darkness, in areas where he cannot reach her. -How many months, Garcia?- a too abrupt and cutting tone comes out, sending to hell all the good intentions.

She steps back or at least tries to do it, just one step. To get away one's own body from the male one. Before he does, when he will know everything. When each card will be placed on the table. -You... You will be angry with me if I tell you.- she tries therefore, aware of the futility of her attempt, as no one can let it go, at this point.

Although she is terrified, she is no less intelligent. This is why man chooses to tell her the truth, brutal one, not to hide anything from her. What then, with her, would also be a wasted effort. She has always forced him, without being in the least aware of it (he would be ready to swear it) to be completely himself, no more, no less. -It's hard enough to stay calm, but I'll try.- he doesn’t loosen the grip, however. He keeps it constant. -Reply.- he says then, using the most peaceful and sweet shades he has in the repertory.

The woman doesn’t look at him, but replies, with only a little hesitation. -After... After Rossi's wedding.- he believed he had prepared himself for the worst. But it is the mention of that particular moment, where just with her she lived a parenthesis of light-heartedness, pure happiness like clear water of a stream, even though he was engaged with another woman, and all this has prevented him from hold back.

-WHAT?- he shouts, so loud that the whole building should have been able to hear him. At the same time, as she had foreseen, he pushes her away from himself, but not for what the woman believes. It is to avoid hurting her (physically), it is because otherwise it would have been natural for him to increase the hold on her arms, until she would have screamed in pain and then a red, and blue... -Emily knows?- he asks, voluntarily ignoring her destroyed gaze. But she still finds that minimum of strength to shake her head. -Why haven't you told anybody about this?- he stretches his arms again towards her, without grasping her. Incredibly, it comes out a voice not exaggeratedly altered or too loud. And this is exactly why the woman is even more frightened; Luke's anger is latent, just above the surface. He is a bomb ready to explode. Once again, she is unable to keep her body still; it wobbles as if it were on a jackhammer.

-I, he...- she only manages to stand out those two words, while two big tears are thrown into the void. He certainly can't pretend nothing. He never endured seeing her cry, even just seeing her sad, picking up a subdued tone not full of joy in her voice. He has all those moments in front of him, just lowering his eyelids to see them flow like a film projected only for him, in his head. When Hotch announced his resignation, when there had been that bad case of human torsos torn apart, throughout Reid's story in prison, when Walker was dead, when they found out that drones had destroyed an elementary school by mistake.

He realizes that she needs a shake, literally, to say at least one sentence of complete meaning. -He threatened you directly?- he presses her, already feeling the anger rise, squeeze his heart until it bleeds, even if it was wrapped in barbed wire, and then continue, continue higher, stroking his throat before reaching its true goal: the brain, so as to make him say the wrong thing. He is an ace in this kind of thing. Then he extends his fingers just enough to get back in touch with her arms, bare from the elbow down. He moves his fingertips slowly, in a sort of caress. And finally, Penelope reacts in the hoped-for way.

She barely looks at him, she doesn't stop shaking, but she tries to explain. -I just didn't want that...- she decides alone that this is not the right way and she changes her path. -...that the team could wasting time with this... I thought I could do it alone...- and here it is, the altruist Garcia, able to apologize for not having yet overcome the trauma of being almost dead in front of her house at the hands of a bastard who he unfortunately hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting. He would have gladly had a chat with him. Here is the downside and how she shines, almost as much as her blonde hair, now darker on the tips because of the tears she hasn’t stopped shedding.

And he should only hate this side of her character, yes, he would like to detest it with all of himself, because he looks at what mess it put them in, because she risked being killed in order not to disturb others... does she really think she is worth so little? And it doesn't just refer to him. Is the ray of sunshine of the BAU really the wake of a star without a sky, long since extinguished? He sends back the mass of thoughts that now has no way to deal with (and any excuse is good to postpone). -You aren’t trained for this.- he points out, in a calm tone, always moving slowly, gently, the fingers of both hands on her forearms. She must be really in a state of shock not to have tried to stop him, nor to have try to protest. It's not that she allowed him to touch her so many times... and again he is going off topic. -Were you able to trace a sender's address?- a single, very short flash, a memory of the flames that burned in his eyes every time he said something stupid, half naively, half on purpose to provoke her... or simply to catalyze her attention on himself. That to get this he had to embarrassing himself even in front of her precious Morgan, it was an acceptable price to pay.

And even in this case he still gets a positive result. Garcia's face melts into what is probably her first smile of the day. Not as great as those of the golden age, but a good starting point. -No, but I'm working on it.- she replies. Maybe it's just because they're back in her safe zone, her area of expertise. Reluctantly, Luke takes his hands off her arms, but not without leaving a kind of long caress from her wrist to her hands. He doesn't say anything. -I only wanted to tell you when ... When I was sure...- she tries instead to justify herself.

The man nods, to make it clear that they are on the same side, in this story; in fact, they are literally on the same boat. He points to the package, he was able to call it that way, maybe things are all coming back to their usual place. -There could be something unpleasant inside, do you realize that?- of course she did, she's not a fool. But even the best brains can failure about something. In fact, adding to her genius her naive disposition... you obtained an explosive cocktail. She opens her eyes wide, at the corners of which two tears remain about to dry out. He feels his hands itch because of the need to dry them, send them away and perhaps at the same time cancel her pain. Instead, as a good special supervisor, he sighs. -If he's done his math well, he'll know you love animals.- he explains. But she get the point already with his previous insinuation. Penelope sees as if Sergio's head was really in front of her, beheaded, his eyes glazed, open to nothing, his black fur that under his chin had now turned gray... -It could also...- and then another image, no less ugly. Pieces of meat with fur still attached, brown-colored, orange fur, depending on your point of view. Brown paws. A bushy tail that could very well be her scarf.

Those visions are so credible that she doesn’t hold back a cry that seems to have come out of a horror film of those done well. Partially choked, because terror closes the throat. Partially acute. -No!- she also moves her hands in front of her, temporarily as blind and hits him, pushing him away.

Luke, however, doesn’t miss the opportunity, capturing her, wrapping both arms around her back and pressing her against his chest, letting her punch him, however too weak, letting her vent the terror of a hypothesis that could prove unfounded. Although he cannot see through her mind, he senses enough. He waits until she has calmed down enough that she can hear what he has to say. -That's why we're a team.- yes, it's so weird that right him say this, the lonely wolf, the one who was happy alone, lurking in the cold, in the most uncomfortable positions, for hours and hours, without sleep, with no other thought but to return by Roxy. -We help each other.- but he has changed so much since he joined this group. It wasn’t starting a relationship after years of voluntary solitude, nor go to move the best proof. No, the real evidence, as they say in court, was when Barnes tried to destroy them, divided them physically but not spiritually, tried to gain his approval, even she tried to rip him off by withdrawing the story of Scratch out, approving and praising his choice to let him die (which instead he could never have accepted inside himself) and he replied to her, clarifying that he was fine where he was; nothing more. -There shouldn't be any secrets of this kind...- but it is not the case that he starts talking about secrets, since he too has one, which makes him feel even more guilty for having failed to help Scratch. That double lie, the same, mirrored, that he told two of the people he loves most in the world.

But she doesn't know it, and by now, that transparent glass that she has practically always kept between them, has shattered. She clings to his shirt as if her life depended on it. -I'm sorry.- she says, letting herself be overwhelmed by the masculine warmth, by that too intimate contact that she has postponed for as long as possible, with very rare exceptions. It's different from their first and only hug and also from when they danced that slow together at Rossi's wedding. It is different because he is different now. Because he's single again. Because it's too easy to fall. Because she needs that he tells her it doesn't matter, they'll fix it together. Because she is no longer able to deny anything about what she feels for him: friendship, love, vulnerability, extreme attraction. It seems that the thin crack in her soft armor has widened a lot. And there is no way to go back.

Luke nods and perhaps has understood that he has gained access to a new level, because one of his hands moves from her back to her head, his fingers get stuck in her hair, directly massaging the skin and giving her a series of jolts along the spine. Much, much better than what she had dreamed of. -I know , I know.- he whispers after a century. How is it possible that she is not a skinny girl at all (she still likes to consider herself young), yet in his arms or even when she is close to him, she seems so small? He is not that massive. There must be a strange optical effect behind it. Unfortunately, he suddenly interrupts the movement she was already fond of to grab her face with both hands; and here we go again, it almost looks like that of a little girl, wrapped in this way by his long amber fingers. And this time it's Luke who thinks so. -What else has he sent you?- he asks. And maybe she wouldn't have been able to answer him if he hadn't moved that damned right thumb on her cheek, where there was still the arid trail of a tear. She swallows. She doesn't want to come out of his arms anymore. She doesn't know how much time has actually passed since they entered Morgan's former office, but a voice in her head tells her that not much is left. The hourglass is about to capsize for the last time...

Then, reluctantly, hearing every fiber of her body protest, she detaches enough to regain part of her mental faculties. -Only notes and... Origami.- she observes him open his eyes. Yes, she too was very surprised the first time when she noticed this particular talent. -And drawings. Horrible.- she adds promptly, shivering at the memory. And how many times did she ask herself why her? Did it depend more on the role she played within the team or on her character, as Luke had practically suggested? The man was a bastard who knew how to do it. It's one way to keep on tormenting Rossi was to shift his attention to the rest of the gang. He had to know that they were a family and the family was important to him too; did he not carry his daughter with him in his crimes? Grace had injured Agent Alvez, fortunately superficially. But it was been like an alarm, a fright, a warning that had reminded her of how futile her attempts to not fully express her affection were. So was that why Everett Lynch (of all the surnames, just that of one of her former boyfriend?) had put her at the center of his crosshairs? Because she was the most fragile, emotional one? Maybe he knew that she would handle the game, that she wouldn't tell others until…

-Did you keep them?- Luke's voice brings her back to earth. She nods. There is no more time to let herself go to crisis, to cry, to take advantage and be consoled by him. On not very firm legs she walks up to go around the desk.

-I have put them in this drawer, since nobody has occupied this place yet.- she explains, simultaneously opening it. A shadow that takes away the light makes her guess that he has already reached her. The contents of the drawer manage to snatch a nostalgic smile from her. The reaction of the man is very different, even if she cannot see it. He only had a chance to see her with Morgan once and he behaved pretty well. But apparently, he has a lot to work on managing his jealousy. That photograph, of them together, sends blood to his brain, even if they are doing nothing. But she is still in an attitude that she never held with him; she is so relaxed, with that mouth bent in a playful grimace. And then some toys in her style. Penelope pulls them aside and turns to hand him a packet of papers. Several. Too many. But he doesn’t want to allow thought to develop. If he has to, later.

He flips trough them, without voluntarily focusing on anyone. Just to get a general idea. -Oh, f...- he is not the kind that curses, but this time he barely holds back, and not to upset her, rather because the words are torn from him by a puff of vomit which he barely rejects. -Why don't you have any...- he barely meets her gaze and shakes his head. -Forget it.- he decides, getting a sigh of relief as a thank you. -Let's take care of this box.- he backs to the origin. He lifts it. -It looks pretty light.- but it seemed to her exactly the opposite. The man's eyes widen as far as possible. -Fuck.- this time he really said it. He turns to her abruptly, grabbing her by the arm and shoulder without sweetness. -Get away from here immediately, leave the room NOW.- he tries to push her, but when she wants to, she is able to resist. She suddenly finds all the strength lost in her legs, putting her feet down, at the cost of scratching the floor.

-No, no way.- she protests, in an equally unexpectedly firm and convinced tone. Adamant. Luke already knows that the game is lost, that unless he picks her up in his arms she will not move, but there is no way to implement this plan, nor to evacuate the entire building. The only possibility they have is to prevent it from bursting. And the woman he is in love with, she is wasting his time again because of her selflessness and cursed spirit of sacrifice.

He takes her by the hips, or rather, a little higher, forcing her at least to look at him and hoping that this truly outside the lines gesture can make her come back to her senses or upset her enough to become a dead weight. -Garcia, I told you to go away.- he glances at the package, now open. A red light flashes. -There isn't much time left before it explodes, if I can't find a way to stop it...- she shakes her head and quickly gets rid of his hands, reaching the box. For a moment they watch the timer ticking off the seconds. Less than a minute. To be exact, 57 seconds. It's almost certainly activated the moment Luke has lifted the lid. Otherwise they would already be dead, they would be ash. In this way their bodies would become just one, though not in the way they both hoped.

She is the one who grabs his arm, the one with the hand resting on the desk, digging her nails in the flesh of the man. He neither complains nor protests in any way. -It's my fault, I don't leave you alone to die.- she says then, and it seems so much a stupid sentence, came out of one of those action movies that he loves to watch at the cinema. But now that Phil is gone, who can he share these moments with? He should try asking Matt...

She lets him go, ignoring the signs she left him, while he runs his finger on his arm more in a caress than to check the damage. She takes the package with both hands and brings it closer to her. She pulls out the bomb, which has the appearance of a clock radio. Random or ironic choice? She doesn't stop to really ask. -What do you do?- instead, the man asks, observing her precise movements with admiration, feeling increase the attraction he feels towards her (he didn’t believe it was possible).

Penelope wastes no time to turn around to see how surprised he is to see the ex-queen of ice fumbling with that stuff, her fingers painted in the colors of the rainbow being able to open a crack so as to further open the box. -Morgan was in the bomb squad.- she says. Outside she seems so self-confident, but inside she is trembling. -He taught me something...- she adds. She tries not to think about all the opportunities she has missed, about the fact that she could die without knowing if Luke has ever felt something for her, even a bit, just a little something. Even if he just considers her his best friend, because he now holds this role... even if he doesn't know it.

As much as Luke is actually in love with her, he doesn't allow this to cloud his federal brain. -You are sure you know what you are d...- he ventures, but he stops when he sees that series of filaments appear. Just like in the movies. He is no longer so sure that he will continue to love action movies in the same way. Perhaps a good romantic movie would be better. Sir, I promise that if You let us survive, I will ask Penelope if she wants to go to the cinema with me to see one of those tearjerker movies and that I will not fall asleep. He hears his grandmother admonishing him for not choosing a more canonical prayer. Penelope turns to him for less than a nano second, not even the chronometers of formula one would be able to measure precisely how much time has passed. She glares at him with a dirty look. The display, open in two, indicates that 30 seconds are missing. He should take her in his arms and kiss her. At least he would die knowing one thing out of the thousand he would like to find out about his blonde colleague.

Instead, he stays motionless to see her fulfill their destiny, to see her pulling out a knife that he hadn't noticed before from one of the drawers. -Do you have a better plan?- he shakes his head. -Ok, it's going to explode.- 15 seconds. -Ok.- 13, 14. -I’d cut...- 11, 10. An unknown voice, deep, reassuring and definitely not of this world talks inside her. His favorite color, it only suggests. She closes her eyes. But time hasn’t stopped for pity. 7, 6, 5...-…the green.- after having performed her task with surgical precision, Penelope's body decides to abandon the game. Luke, who is exactly behind her, very close, feels a new weight on him and sees her sliding towards the floor. Of course, he catch her before such a catastrophe can occur. He can’t let her die in front of him after they survived an explosion. What she has done is so heroic that perhaps he should lead her to see Wonder woman 1984, instead of Little Women, although it will surely be one of her favorite novels. Or maybe Mulan. In short, he should buy a season ticket.

But now he has other things to think about. He gently rotates the woman 180 degrees, so that he can see her better, especially in the face. If she has lost consciousness, she has already regained it, but she still doesn’t stand up, the weight pushes her down, gravity wants to get the better. Her eyes are narrowed and empty, her fair skin is even whiter and above all, cold. With one arm around her waist he holds her up, completely against him, she can feel her breasts pressed against her chest, but there is no way to get excited, he is too scared. With his other hand he strokes her face. -Garcia, are you okay? Do you feel good?- he watches her eyelids quiver in an attempt to fully open.

She makes an attempt to break away, embarrassed by the situation in which she has placed him, but gives up after a moment. -So... sorry, I didn't want...- she stutters, but she isn't even sure she spoke, because the sentences, the words get confused in her head. -Only...- she gives up, using him as a rescue anchor and concentrating all physical and mental energy on a simple task that she has had to learn and that has perhaps saved her life several times. Breathe in and out, long breaths, bringing oxygen to the brain. But above all by distracting one's mind from the unpleasant thoughts that caused her to faint. Luke is still there hanging from her lips. -My heart, every now and then... it loses a few beats.- she says then, and it could even seem one of her jokes, if she didn't look like a corpse that escaped from the morgue.

The man feels the need to laugh, but not for her phrase. But because once again she managed to amaze him with another absurdity. -There is no reason to apologize.- however, he merely comments, hoping to reassure her. -Hold on to me as long as you need it.- he shivers a little while he says it. How many times has he dreamed of embracing her, really hugging her, not only the thing that she had given him out of pity. But not at the expense of her health.

Penelope nods, just barely, because there is no need to provoke other dizziness. -Ok.- and so they stay there, motionless for at least five minutes, until she decides that she can get by, but for safety she lays a hand on the desk. He looks at her without opening his mouth. -Then, it was fake.- she says, looking towards that confusion of sheets with horrible drawings, colored threads, an empty box. -Why would he send a fake bomb?- she then asks, but she is not demanding a real answer.

She hears Luke heave a long sigh. She cannot know that he practically stopped breathing when he saw her fall to the floor. -I won't be able to defuse explosive devices, but I studied the profile of those ones like Lynch.- he says, activating the federal agent mode, because in the end  he always chooses duty instead of pleasure. And now is not the time to change course. -It was a diversion.- he adds, seeing her frown.

-What do you mean by...- he doesn’t let her end, there is no need.

He stops the hand that was about to touch that device again. What could they expect from someone who wanted to be called the Chameleon? Nothing is as it seems, everything can take on different meanings. A ticking time box is not a bomb in Everett Lynch's world. -I'm not sure .- he leaves her wrist and she just brings her arm against her body. -We have to talk about it with the team.- here again the terror peeps into her brown eyes.

-Oh no, no.- she shakes her head madly. -They'll hate me too. I never wanted...- she has lost color again. This time he doesn't wait for her to fall, he grabs her first.

He massages her back, the shoulder blades to be precise, with skill. -Calm down, breathe, everything is good.- he says at the same time in an obviously calm tone. -No one will hate you.- he then adds, after a moment, moving higher, just a moment on the neck (it is too intimate a part, although too often overlooked), stopping in her hair. -We all know you are the most selfless person on the planet. Unfortunately, this has its collateral aspects, but... it's still worth it.- she raises her face until she meets his sincere gaze and nods. She comes out of his arms but takes his hand and squeezes it tightly.

 In this way, they enter the room, even if no one asks questions about it and after a moment they separate, each reaching their own position. A glance is enough to make her understand that this time she will have to sit quietly, and that the explanation of the case will be up to him, no but. He begins with a neutral: -We have news.- Emily looks at him badly and Rossi barely refrains from choking him, while explaining before the fake device, then of the practically certified author of the gesture, while showing them the offending cardboard and the drawings, carefully wrapped to avoid contamination anyway, even if they are not the CSI' agents. They pass it each other in a silence that seems almost unreal, for that room usually so full of theories, hypotheses, possibilities. All the while he feels the gaze of a particular person on him. What he always wanted, although perhaps in a different circumstance. Unfortunately, he cannot lie to them, even if he would have done it willingly, just to protect her. But the fact that he sent these things to her is a characteristic of his way of acting too important to omit it. In the most delicate way possible, he manages to explain the facts, he provides data, only at the end he says her name. His face changes, it gets tough, like every time he is ready for hand-to-hand combat. He challenges them to say something negative about her, who is aware of having fucked up, but has done it with the best of intentions. And they should know her better than him, since they have had the honor of working with her for more years.

However, he allows JJ to exclaim: -Oh, Garcia, darling.- and he approves with a nod of the head when the blonde reaches Penelope and strokes her shoulder. Prentiss would like to reprimand her, more than anything else hoping that this will push her in the future not to repeat the same mistake... but who is she for judge? It is not certain for Luke's attitude as bodyguard if she doesn’t exercise her role as leader. But because of a name. Doyle.

Agent Alvez continues, by returning to the beginning of his speech. The bomb was fake. He therefore expounds his theory that it could only be a diversion.

And at this point Matt asks the most sensible question, the one that everyone should have asked. -Are you able to find a physical connection that can tell us what his real goal might be?- Luke is already about to respond, but another voice is making itself heard. Ringing, confident, convinced voice.

-Yes, I just spotted it.- she certainly wasn't there to waste time. As she told him long ago, she is very good at multitasking. Luke's voice has been like a sweet background, despite the macabre argument and has lulled her in her digging in the maze of evil. The man hints a small smile in her direction. Proud. Delighted.

 Even there are many things he wanted to do, he adds nothing to that look. He goes out like everyone else, reaches his desk and checks that everything is in his backpack, even if he already knows it is so, because he doesn't need many things and is an extremely precise and orderly type. He certainly doesn't expect her to come to him, as he asked three and a half years ago. Maybe this time the walls really collapsed once and for all.

She stays a few seconds looking at him, standing. -Luke.- he will never get used to hearing her say his name. Needless to say, it is like heavenly music, a choir of angels, a concert for his ears. The sexiest and sweetest thing he has ever heard.

He stands up, letting his eyes fall into the darker ones. -Garcia, are you better?- he asks and really cares to know.

She nods. -Yes, indeed, no.- but then she shakes her head. There is something strange about her again, but he doesn't believe another bomb has come. He watches her hesitating. He meditates for a moment to go around the desk, but then decides to stay where he is. However, within a short time he will have to go away. Evil awaits no one.

-What happens?- he asks, without breaking eye contact. But she reaches out to take one of his hands. He is too shocked to return the hold. He can't think any sensible hypotheses that could push her to do such a thing. Ok, even less than an hour ago she did it, but she had a reason: it was like asking him for confirmation that they were together in front of the team in this thing. Now…

She squeezes it in a convulsive way, her nails pressing on his palm, already rough and full of marks. -I wish I never found that address!- then she exclaims, not shouting but going close, her desperate gaze. It's too much. Luke puts the backpack over his shoulder and reaches for her on the other side. Instead of doing what he thought and desired, however, he starts walking in the direction of the elevators. She keeps up with him. -Please, don't go!- on those dizzying heels that always slender her turned legs. And that distract him from the ongoing conversation.

He blinks twice to collect his thoughts. -What are you saying?- he stops and she, with him, like they were held together by string, like puppets. -You were great, probably thanks to you innocent people will not die.- he believes that she needs to be reassured, and he is not entirely wrong. But he was wrong about the reason.

Her eyes wander without seeming capable of stopping on something. Her hands also move frantically, until she puts both on his muscular arms. Okay, there is definitely something bizarre. However, he cannot skip this mission. It wouldn't be fair and Prentiss wouldn't allow it anyway. He voluntarily avoided telling them about her fainting. -But you all could die.- she says. A twinkle in her pupils, but she's not actually crying. Then, in a much lower tone, she adds: -You could die.- she increases the grip and then suddenly loosens it, almost realizing what she has done.

It is he now who feels the need to restore this contact. -It would not be the first time that we run this risk.- instead he points out. Will he ever choose the easy road instead of the rough one? Useless and rhetorical question. -Why should it be different this time?- he doesn't expect her to answer him. He doesn't even know why he asked that kind of question. In all other cases she would have remained outstanding, lining up with the others.

Not today. They have gone through too many barriers to stop now. -Because... you're different.- he heard right and she has really put emphasis on the pronoun. And her gaze has not wavered. But it can mean everything, make him the happiest man in the universe, like nothing. She could mean it as a way of making him understand that now she has finally fully accepted him in the team, that she loves him... as one of the family. -I am afraid that now that you are no longer...- she adds. Luke can't just shut up.

-Are you afraid that I would play the hero just because I no longer have a girlfriend waiting for me at home?- this time he get the point. Her lost expression confirms it. He shakes his head, annoyed by not having the time to make her understand what he wants. -I'm not so unwary.- instead he just says. -And then I still have Roxy and Lou, to take care of.- he points out, avoiding to add And the team, but above all, you. -You don't have to worry about us, and above all, not about me .- and instead he would like to be selfish. Without asking her, he promises it anyway. -I'll be careful, okay?- too hasty and simplistic in the woman's eyes.

He starts walking again and she clings to his arm. -No! I have a terrible feeling... I feel it.- she tries to explain, but it is impossible. Luke isn't paying attention to her, even if she doesn't think he doesn't give a damn. He is simply too dutiful and has always known it... wasn't it one of the many reasons that led her here, to plead with the scoundrel to stay on the ground? -Like the night my parents died.- she adds this detail, hoping that he can feel pity for her, but this doesn't work either. He continues relentlessly. -Please don't go.- she repeats. She gives no other examples, but in that moment she relives the exact same sensations. Whenever she looked up and counted how many hours or minutes to 18:30, she was just a child, every time the phone rang and no one on the other end answered and she struggled with the urge to scream. And her grandfather had died the only time she had forgotten to call. Too much weight on a little girl's shoulders. Or again her beloved great-aunt, who lived right next to her grandfather and who had proposed to spend time with her after the funeral; and she knew she would have to accept, she knew she would never see her again... but she hadn't been strong enough. Now, in the present, she decides that she will played any cards so as not to lose Luke too. -You know that bombs are placed to hit rescuers, in many cases.- a thought that came out of nowhere, which doesn’t belong to him.

The man sighs. He would like to be able to tell her that she is right, with all his heart, just to see her smile. But he can't. -The Chameleon is not a bomber.- he points out kindly. -It's another kind of killer.- he shrugs and runs his tongue over the palate. -I'm sorry, Penelope.- he touches her arm in a gesture that seems all too friendly, at least for his taste. Even if he wishes to drag her against his chest and to kiss her properly, a kiss that contains all the statements he cannot make. -I have to go.- he starts again and like the previous times, her alarmed voice has the power to block him.

-I can't do anything to stop you?- there would be ways, but he's not going to let his brain flood him with red-light Penelope images. However, he already has a good supply and if anything, he will think about it in the downtime in the car.

He turns back to her. -I don’t think.- and suddenly, the stroke of genius. He approaches her. -Listen to me, when I return you will explain to me where all this anxiety for my safety comes from.- he winks at her, but doesn’t give her time to reply, enjoying that red mouth ajar only for him. -We can go for a walk with Roxy and Lou and laugh at all this in front of... a cup of tea?- he proposes. For him it is almost an appointment and even if it will not be at the beginning... it will become so for the end of the evening.

Objective partially achieved. She is smiling. -I... I'd like to, but...- but it doesn't last long, because there are still all those fears that press on her heart and lungs, preventing her from breathing properly.

However, she is interrupted by another male voice. -Luke, we're leaving.- he turns and nods to Matt, who returns him with a strange look. Maybe he will have something to discuss with him too... He sighs and focuses on the blonde again.

-As you would say, duty calls.- the joke doesn’t have the power to make her laugh.

She stops him one last time. -Wait up. There's one thing you need to know before you go.- they are really there. He is a fucking profiler and here in front he has all the significant signs: dilated pupils, sweating slightly above the norm but cold hands, redness on the cheeks, look in general bewildered. -I have... I have...- he would like to shake her and instead he does nothing.

Another voice, this time feminine, authoritarian. -Alvez!- but he can't listen to her right now. For once, duty can wait. A few seconds more.

-Do you have what?- he urges her. Prentiss electrocutes him from inside the elevator.

A second before he gets on board and before the doors close, he seems to hear her saying -...a crush on you.- he could blame his desires that push him to see what doesn’t exist, if it wasn't that he, unfortunately, can read lips.

 Usually she waits for them to call her and notify her that the mission has been successfully completed. This time, however, it is impossible for her to bear the tension of not knowing. She struggles with herself until she gives in and calls JJ, explains (little) the situation and promises to allow her to listen. She never did it. The explosion deafens her for a few minutes. She can only hear a high-pitched whistle in her ears and it's not because Luke is thinking about her. Luke. Thinking about the man's name is the most (wrong) thing she could do. The view fogs up, everything turns white and then black, the absolute emptiness.

Across the line, JJ tries to get in touch with her friend, to warn her that they have managed to save the family that the Chameleon wanted to hit. -Garcia, we did it.- no answer. -Garcia, we're all fine, can you hear me?- nothing to do, still silence. She shakes her head, glancing in alarm at the boss. -She doesn't answer.- she only mentioned something of her strange request. Penelope certainly doesn’t have exclusivity regarding the catastrophic premonitions.

-Maybe the line went down.- Tara considers. But the little blonde shakes her head.

She points to the screen that indicates that the call is still in progress. -No, look. Garcia! Garcia, answer!- only Agent Simmons notices the colleague and friend is heading towards one of the hummers with the clear intention of getting on board. And also, his expression. Despite his soot-covered face, he has managed to spot the terror on his face perfectly.

He follows him, putting a hand on his arm and forcing him to stop. -Alvez, what are you doing?- the other doesn't answer. -We should let them examine us.- he reminds him then. This is the protocol. Even if no one seems to have been injured, a checkup doesn't hurt. Certain problems are not visible... especially after a trauma such as a detonation.

But Luke shakes his head, trying to free himself. He has lost all sorts of brake and doesn’t care anything that his friend can understand the exact meaning of his sentence. -There is no time, I have to go to her.- Matt lets him go and shakes his head in turn.

-You can't go alone.- he says then. He goes around the car and sits in the passenger seat. -I come with you.- Agent Alvez doesn’t pay particular attention to him. He starts with a skid like in a rally, not that he didn’t know that his was an abrupt driving, but...

-Luke, will you explain to me what's going on?- he asks, holding on to the handle, while his body is thrown in every area of the car, despite wearing the belt. Fortunately, he is still wearing also the bulletproof vest. It helps him.

Luke grants him a quick answer, while he is overtaking for the third time in less than a minute. -I can't, I have to stay focused on driving.- Matt widens his eyes and feels that there is nothing he can do to stop the comment from coming out.

-If you had left the wheel to me...- he gets a bad look in return. Then he changes his strategy. -Get into an accident will not help Garcia.- he hits the target. The ship is about to sink. Luke sighs, taking a curve with a little too much momentum.

-I know.- he admits. -But...- he has to tell him, also because he needs to talk to someone about it. Because every second that passes could be a bit much. Too late. -I think she's had heart problems since Battle shot her.- she hasn't confirmed it, but it's easy enough to do the math. -Today, when we opened the first package... she fainted.- the detail that changes the final composition. Now Simmons is also worried.

But he tries to keep calm. He wants to see Kristy and the kids again. He is about to become a father for the fifth time. He cannot die in such a pathetic way. -Prentiss called Anderson, you'll see that...- the other man nods. There are still many things that he hasn't said to him and that would help him understand the reason for all this apprehension.

-I know, but I think seeing me could help her get better.-

 He has no time to waste with unnecessary elevators. He throws himself up the stairs, eating three steps at a time and risking tripping several times. Tomorrow his knees will present him the bill. He is trained, but not for this. As they ran like crazy Emily called to warn them that Penelope was with Agent Anderson in a small room with a sofa. Alive, she pointed out. She hadn't wanted to go to the hospital. He burst into the room so sharply to risk letting the door out of its hinges. He has to force himself to calm down, otherwise it won't help her. He meets the gaze of the man, who nods and leaves the room. Good old Anderson, so intuitive. He sits in his place, much closer. He strokes her hair and cheeks. -Garcia, hey, Garcia, I'm here, do you see me?- she slowly opens her eyes. He sees her glasses on the table next to him and places them on her nose. -I'm fine.- he says, barely realizing he's using the same tone he does when talking to Roxy. Sweet, caressing and full of love.

She blinks several times. -Lu... Luke.- a weak smile curls her lips. Maybe she's thinking it's a dream. She needs a concrete gesture. Gathering all the courage in his own hands, he gently takes her by the shoulders, until her head is rested on his legs.

She looks at him without saying anything. -Yes, it's me.- He doesn't stop caressing her, touching her. -The team is coming, we're all fine.- he didn't have a hallucination, before they left she told him she had a crush. It is little compared to what he feels, but it is a beginning. -Ok?- she just nods. -And you will be fine too, do we agree?- another small movement of the head that tickles him, despite the layers of fabric between her hair and his skin.

-O... ok.- she even struggles to say. But she has something to add. -Roxy...- he understands exactly what she is referring to, not just about his dog.

He sets her hair better so that it doesn't bother her. -If you recover, we will take that walk, or you could come to my place anyway, or we could come to yours.- yes, because it is excluded that he will leave her alone tonight, if they should also force her or him to go to the hospital... they will still be together. End of discussion. -You don't have to worry about this.- an imperceptible pause, especially for her who is so weak. -In fact, you don't have to worry about anything.- he watches her eyes close again and after a few minutes the weight on his legs increases. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a blanket and doesn’t wonder with too much interest who brought it there or what it served before. He lays it on her sleeping body and lets himself go to his thoughts, leaning his back better.

It spends about an hour like this. The team have arrived, but only JJ has been sent on a mission to check the situation. She has looked through, watched them, she has smiled and left. No other visit since this. It is the voice of his angel that awakens him from torpor. -Luke.- she sounds much more determined and confident.

He sighs, preparing for detachment. -Hey, how are you feeling?- he observes her red cheeks as she pulls up from his legs. Penelope doesn't answer. -I think it is better to postpone the walk.- he says then, but sees her eyes wide, already shiny. -No, don't make that face.- he strokes her cheek. She follows the movement of his hand in detail. -You will still see Lou and Roxy.- he reassures her. He stands up. He sees her shoes and hands them to her. -I'll take you home, let's go.- he reaches out and after a hesitation she grabs his hand.

They walk towards the elevators. No one in sight, not even Anderson. -Luke, I... here, I'm sorry to have...- she hates being so fragile, stupid and emotional. -It was selfish to tell you that way.- she finally manages to say. He stops, shakes his head.

He presses the button to call the elevator back to their floor. -No, you are anything but selfish.- he replies then, in a tone that doesn’t allow replies. He lets her go first but doesn’t stray too far from his body. There is only one thing he cares to know. -But was it the truth?- she looks at him and just the way she does it is an answer. But then she nods, blushing again. He enjoys that awareness for a moment. Now he knows it's true. Now he knows he will be happy. That he will can no longer see only the gray of the world. That he will be forced to strive to be happy. -You are not obliged to answer me, but... how long?- well, maybe there is another question that interests him. But compared to the former it is secondary. She fiddles with shoes.

She bites her lips. -I think... since you joined the team.- she closes her eyes and lets the truth come out. -At least.- because she said it without saying it. Such a long crush is not a crush. You don't need to be a profiler to figure it out.

The revelation, however, manages to surprise him. -What? It would mean... three years.- he follows her towards the exit, in the direction of the parking lot. -Why didn't you ever tell me?- she looks at him while he opens the car door and helps her to get in. If it had been up to him, he would have even picked her up and placed her on the seat but he doesn't want to frighten her.

She wait for him to sit behind the wheel. -Because... at the beginning I didn't want and I didn't admit it with myself until last year.- revelation number two (or three, if you count how long this "crush" lasted). -And then anyway you found Lisa. And I was really happy for you two.- revelation number three (four). -I didn't want you broken up with her.- Luke nods, shifting into first gear and gently pressing on the accelerator. Nothing similar to what he did a few hours ago.

-I know, better, I guess.- he gives her a single glance, promising the Lord that he will drive perfectly and will also strive in the future, if he will not make him die tonight from internal bleeding caused by the explosion in which he was been involved. Since he just can't go to the hospital.

They spend a few minutes in silence. Then she breaks it. -Can I ask you something? Why are you taking me to your house anyway?- it's his turn of the big revelations, but he never imagined his van as a setting.

He barely doesn’t break the promise made to the Creator. -I will answer to you soon, when we arrive.-

 About six months later

The blonde looks around, looking for no one knows what. -Oh, Luke, I don't know if we should do it.- he knew this would come. He was just waiting for the exact moment. -We can still undo everything, can't we?- he breathes, inhales, exhales, before answering.

-Of course, but they'll be disappointed.- and they lost two days that they could spend in very different time activities, to organize everything on time.

Penelope caresses her arms. -It's just that... it's all...- she gesticulates and then shakes her head, giving up searching for the right term to express her thoughts. -I don't know.- he nods, but before trying to make her change her mind, he needs to know one thing.

-Do you want to cancel only the party or even the rest?- because together they have made a lot of steps forward in this period, but the road is still long. He hopes it never ends.

The woman silences all his fears instantly. -No!- she protest, as if he had said the stupidest thing in the universe. And indeed, it is so. -I could never wish to not be with you.- she has to remind him and to do the same for herself. Sometimes. Fewer and fewer, but occasionally they still need it. -And don't think it's because I'm ashamed of you or us.- but of course, he thought so. As much as this is even more ridiculous. What else could he have imagined? -It's just that... I've never been the type that does things like this.- here, she has said it. The time has come for declaration number 5 (or 555).

Finally, now that he knows that everything is still fine, that in any case they will stay together, Luke approaches and wraps his arms around her soft body, which is perfectly shaped on his muscled one. -Look at that, neither do I.- he teases her, making a grimace and getting a chuckle. -Do you not remember that Rossi accused me of being afraid to make a gesture to formalize my relationship with Lisa, when I didn't want to organize that housewarming party?- Penelope changes expression. Well yes, Garcia also knows the feeling with green eyes, the Jealousy.

She gives him a push on the chest to punish him. -Yes, I remember it better than I would have liked.- she comments, rolling her eyes. It's not that strange. Less than a year has passed since this house looked different, although the furniture has remained almost the same and although he intends to mention sooner or later the idea of moving to another apartment, chosen together in every detail, which would be really only them.

But this is not the right time. An anxiety at a time, thank you. -And now this house is ours.-he underlines the last word in particular, with the tone and with a raised eyebrow. -We are on the same boat, Penelope. And I want to continue rowing.- at this joke she can't make it, she rolls her eyes to the sky.

-You are a poet, Alvez.- she comments. But he is not fooled by the playful air. Now that he knows her well, really, tha he has gone beyond Garcia to discover Penelope, he knows that her jokes and the whole apparatus are mainly a shield between her and the world. Well, with him she has to deactivate the alarm system.

-We ended up together without either of us saying it clearly to the other one.- then he starts listing. -We began to live together gradually, once again, without announcing it to anyone.- she just follows him with her eyes, now serious again, but not excessively frightened. -We kept it for ourselves for a while, until you said you were ready.- she stretches out her hand to caress his just about everywhere. When Luke Alvez is your boyfriend, there are no limits to be respected. You can start from one cheek and then move on the chest and count each muscle, end up on his groin, go up from the lower back and get stuck between his dark curls.

He particularly loves when she wanders this way along his body. But he can't afford to get excited. Little is missing for the arrival of the team, the other friends, the whole world, practically. Even if everyone knows (or imagines) that Penelope is able to excite her (almost really) fiance, it is better that they don't have clear proof of it. He stops her hand and prefers to place it on his heart. She gladly accepts. -I am aware of it, and thank you for your infinite patience.- she says at the end.

-There is no need, because I would do anything to make you feel good. I didn't know before- and how the fuck that simple adverb of time weighs -of all your fears about getting serious in a relationship, even if someone had mentioned something about a rejected marriage proposal...- she puts her hands behind his neck to draw him closer and the man imitates her.

-JJ, right?- she asks, their lips so close, yes, exactly, close.

-I didn't say anything.- Luke jokingly defends himself. Then he goes back to his speech. -I never thought that I would have liked to share a house and my whole life with one single person... indeed, with nobody.- here we are at revelation number 6. -Except Roxy.- he adds, making her laugh, this time really, because it comes from the heart. -I didn't even think that I would ever want to get married or have a family.- the embedded fingernails in his hairline transmit more her terror than that look. -Just... it wasn't in my plans.- but she won't let him get off that so easy.

-Luke...- she just says. Sometimes a name is enough.

He drags her close to him, so that she can actually feel the result of her actions. -Hey, this is not a proposal, I can do much better.- and it's true. And she knows it. As he knows that she never really wanted to get married, just like him, who loves all children but never wanted to grow up one of her own, but... -I just wanted you to understand that... you are that person with whom all these things don't make me fear.- but Penelope also knows that with him... damn, it's exactly like Luke said.

She is afraid, indeed not, she is really terrified, but not enough to blow everything up, as she did with the others. Maybe because the others just weren't the right person and they really couldn't have supposed to be, or Luke wouldn't be. And you know Luke is. You didn't want it because you already knew it, how it would end. -Well, but you also lived with Lisa.- she replies, to appease the thoughts that are running through her head, uncontrolled.

He nods. -But with her it was... it was the right thing to do.- she will never understand this, but he doesn't care. -With you, on the other hand... it was what I dreamed of the most in the world.- here, he has ruined her make-up. Only half an hour to try to repair the damage.

And Luke obviously has other intentions. -I hope the guests arrive early, because you are out of control now...- he laughs, giving her reason, but it is she who presses her lips first against the male ones. -I hope you're satisfied, because it's your fault if we organized this party.- she warns him.

-Oh, but I know that we are only at the beginning.-

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[buckybabybaby]

Mr Hollywood (Chapter 5)

Summary: Bucky Barnes, an underpaid teaching assistant in a small English village, dreams of a movie career back in his home country of America. He finally gets the break he's always wanted, and if it wasn't for you, his best friend, he wouldn't have been able to take it.

But is that fact enough to save your friendship when it's tested by the pressures of Hollywood?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader (Gender Neutral)

Word count: 1865

Chapter summary: Bucky comes home! But only briefly... :(

Warnings: None I think!

Chapter 4

Mr Hollywood Masterlist

Masterlist

*****

Pouring rain on Halloween night means the bowl of sweets by your front door is almost full as you answer the bell for the final few trick-or-treaters. Normally, Bucky helps you decorate the porch and front garden on the Saturday closest to the thirty first, so doing it alone this year was a bit of a challenge, but you're happy with the end result. 

The witches cat, out for it's third year, sits well by the mini pumpkins and broom, and the motion activated sound effects along the lantern lit path create the perfect atmosphere, just the right side of creepy.

The children certainly seem to approve.

Switching off the fairy lights and putting the leftover treats out of sight and temptation, you curl up on the sofa, scrolling through the pictures you took earlier of your decorations, choosing the best to send to Bucky. By your calculations it should be around midday in Los Angeles, lunch time hopefully, however it's always difficult to judge when he'll have a bit of a break. His replies to your texts have been slow and sporadic, but you understand, and he always apologises for taking so long. Today is a different story though, as the message is marked as read seconds after you send it, and you watch the little bubbles on the bottom of the screen as he types back his response. It's only a short text, saying that he shouldn't really be on his phone right now, but 'Happy Halloween!', and its accompanied by a photo of his own seasonal decorations, a plump pumpkin carved to look like a haunted house. He was always better than you at that kind of thing, you think, as you compare your own efforts with his, marvelling over the intricacy of the design. The picture appears to be taken in his trailer, and you zoom in to the corners, pleased to see it's cosy, homely. You had worried about how he would cope, being thrown in to such a foreign situation, as from the little information Bucky had been able to share, it seemed as though the other actors were old hands at living on set. It looks like Bucky's learned a thing or two from them.

Your reply to his picture goes unread, and you don't expect it to be answered any time soon. It feels like you never have proper back and forth conversations any more, that phone call cancelling his trip home feels like an age ago, and you miss his voice. The first half of the Autumn term wasn't as tough as you thought it would be, Bucky's replacement Peter is as easy to work with, so you have no complaints on that front, its just not quite the same without him.

Later, as you climb into bed, you allow yourself to briefly think about the future. Now that Halloween is done with, Christmas feels just around the corner, and Bucky's return can't come quickly enough.

*****

Luckily, Autumn quickly rolls to an end, and before you can blink, the annual school disco is upon you. The children look forward to it, and while it is a wonderful way to end the school term, with the combination of sugary drinks and snacks from the tuck shop, the only time they're permitted, the excitement for Christmas, and the speakers blasting classic festive songs, keeping it all under control can be exhausting for the adults.

Taking a breather, you wander through the empty corridors until you can no longer hear the commotion from the assembly room. The cloakrooms between the classroom areas are always a little cooler as they aren't heated, and after the stuffy hall its a welcome break.

Discreetly checking your phone you sigh at the lack of texts. You try not to keep it on you when you're working, not wanting it to be a distraction, but you are waiting on a message from Bucky, not so patiently. You want to know when he's going to be back around here so you can see him, but that's difficult to plan for when he doesn't reply. Leaning against the wall, you scold yourself for being annoyed at how uncommunicative he is, its unfair to expect to be made a priority, and it's not as if you're going to be super busy over the winter break. Whenever he's free you'll make sure you are too.

A door shuts nearby and you pocket your phone, pretending to be interested in the staff board in front of you, showing every teacher, assistant, cleaner and cook on it, your picture sitting at the top of the second column. Footsteps approach as you zone out, staring down the photo of yourself, only half aware that they've stopped beside you.

“Is that who took my place? Looks like one of those cartoon me-mes.”

Frowning, it takes your brain a few moments to work out what is happening.

“A what? Me-”

Turning to face the person who interrupted your bubble of quiet, you gasp, sure you're dreaming.

Bucky stands in front of you, and before he has a chance to say hi properly you're throwing yourself into his arms, only just holding in your squeal of joy as he wraps his arms around you. He smells just as he always did, that combination of three colognes you used to tease him about even though it is an amazing scent on him, and the memories it evokes has you snivelling against his chest.

He soothes you, rocking you with him as you wipe your eyes with your sleeve. “Sorry. I'm just tired I think.”

Nodding understandably against your hair, he hold you tight in his arms until your calmer.

Suddenly remembering his earlier words, you giggle as you pull away. “Me-mes? Really Bucky, you're still such a disaster.”

“And a very merry Christmas to you too.”

Smiling so wide your face hurts, you take him in. He's wearing a yellow visitor badge as opposed to your blue staff lanyard, and it makes him look so out of place even with the familiar surroundings. You note that despite spending nearly half a year in California, he's only slightly more tanned than when he left, but his hair looks different, glossier if possible, and softer. His casual style hasn't changed though, and you're happy to see that faithful puffer jacket he bought a couple of winters ago is still around. You can imagine he's grateful for it, coming back to the shock of single figure temperatures. All in all, he looks so much better than you remembered.

“And anyway,” You say, gesturing to Peter's picture that Bucky commented on, “He's actually really nice. So you should be too.”

“If you say so.”

Snorting, you check your watch. “If you have time, you could meet him?”

“I'd love to, but I've got to get to Dayton's. I didn't say I was coming here first, he'll worry I got stuck in the airport.”

“What do you mean? Haven't you been to his yet?”

“I wanted to see you first.”

“It's not really on the way is it?”

“No, but, worth it.”

Your tummy flips, flattered by his honesty. At a loss of what to say in response, you stare at the notice board behind his head, wondering if he's always had this effect on you and you've just forgotten over the months he's been gone, or if this is a new feeling. Even after an absence of six months he still has such a hold over you.

“What about tomorrow?” You ask after a short silence. “You remember the Christmas lunch? I'm sure we could squeeze you in if you wanted.”

You cross your fingers behind your back, desperate to have him here a little longer.

“Only if they have those potatoes I like.”

Thinking about how you'll make them for him yourself if you have to, you laugh at his condition for attendance, before escorting him back to the entrance foyer and his waiting taxi.

*****

“Are they not feeding you over there?” You chuckle, watching fondly as Bucky scoffs down a very full plate of dinner. Students and teachers a like have been absolutely delighted to see him again, and he's been given pride of place at the main table, with you squashed in beside him at his insistence. Peggy sits opposite, giving you a significant look every time your eyes meet.  She's not pleased that you aren't paying attention to her.

“Well, yeah, but only the really healthy stuff.” He takes a last forkful, scraping at the plate forlornly, before eyeing the food you are yet to eat. Sighing good naturedly, you push it towards him. “Go ahead.”

Thanking you with a grin, he tucks in, quiet until you question him on how long he'll be back.

“Only a couple of days.” He cringes at your confused expression.

“But I thought-”

“I know, I know. But as we've had so many delays because of the weather, everything is so behind, we're basically filming all hours of the day. Most people on set have never seen anything like it, and it's only going to get even more intense. They want to hit the summer season so we're doing all nighters to get it finished.”

“That's ridiculous.”

“And then press and promo, I don't know when I'll get to come home next.”

You don't know what to say. Bucky only arrived yesterday, and now that it looks like he'll be gone by the end of the week you're lost, disappointed and angry at someone or someone's you haven't met.

“Are you at least getting enough sleep?”

He shrugs. “Does anyone in this industry?”

Peter interrupts your conversation before you can continue your interrogation, flopping down between you and Bucky to introduce himself, seemingly in awe of everything about him and his life after Wild Fields Primary School. He knows what you've told him, so not much really, and whilst he tries to dig for more answers from Bucky you force yourself to smile and enjoy the little time you have with him.

*****

The end of lunch comes too soon and whilst you would love to stay with Bucky, teaching duties call. He's driven himself here so you walk with him back to the door out to the car park, refraining yourself from giving him a hug as it feels inappropriate in front of so many people, but he has no such qualms, and ignoring everyone around, you treasure being so close to him, conscious that it may be a long while until you see him again.

Stepping back eventually, you peer through the drizzle at the car Bucky's hired for the day, only half surprised to clock the luxury badge on the front. Not exactly the little run around he used to own.

“That looks very fancy, really going up in the world aren't you?”

“I'm still me.” He says, smiling bashfully as he presses a kiss to your forehead, before slipping out of the door.

“Just don't you forget about me Bucky Barnes.”

“Never, doll.”

You wave him off, not knowing then that Hollywood has a way of changing people, and that sometimes they can't keep their promises.

*****

Chapter 6

[eledritch]

a pinch of (important) salt

Just went on twitter, saw a letter a 26 year old teacher wrote to the Voltron staff about how they should be ashamed of themselves even though she straight up admitted she hyped up Adam/Shadam for two actual children even knowing full well that, and I quote, “Adam and Shiro’s relationship hadn’t even been formally introduced and already two LGBT identifying 12/13 year old girls were super happy about the news.” 

why would you do this, as an authority figure who these kids trust, without having any idea what role Adam was going to play in the upcoming season??? Additionally, if she knew about Shiro and Adam, presumably she was also aware he broke up with Shiro, and in a pretty harsh way, at that! The show doesn’t make any attempts to paint Adam in a sympathetic light in this scene, imo. 

Conveniently, the author never mentions this, even though Adam did this within 20 seconds of being on screen with Shiro. It wasn’t ambiguous. He straight up said, “if you do this I’m leaving you,” and considering we, the viewer, know that Shiro went on the Kerberos mission...it’s not really a question as to whether they broke up or not. They broke up, and it wasn’t drawn out or agonized over, it happened quickly and in a flashback. But that’s a moot point, here, apparently.

She goes on to say that she “demands an apology for the hurt [she] felt when [she] watched Adam, a gay man of color who you had marketed and held up as a groundbreaking achievement for LGBT representation, get needlessly killed after you had made [her] feel [she] could trust you to represent [her].”

A gay man of color was marketed and held up as a groundbreaking achievement for LGBT representation, but it wasn’t Adam, and he ain’t dead. He’s busy piloting a giant badass mechship and rebuilding Earth.

The entire letter was just a massive guilt trip aimed at the staff, and everyone in the replies was supporting it and agreeing with it despite the letter being a thinly veiled and quite unfair attack on the staff for something they never promised. 

Needless to say, I immediately logged off twitter after that...

For the last time, Adam isn’t the LGBT rep anyone was promised. He was never meant to be a major character at all, and I never got the idea that he was going to be from any of the official promos (many of which, for the record, the showrunners have little to no control over) or statements from the staff. 

People are claiming that Lauren Montgomery and JDS said things that made them think things would be different, but I didn’t hear them say anything that merits this kind of outrage. It’s also important to consider that Lauren & JDS don’t necessarily have the final say on what gets into their show. They’re at the mercy of studio executives, ultimately, and since Voltron is both technically a kids’ show and a reboot of a classic 80′s show, it’s unsurprising that there would be backlash to more LGBT rep. 

It’s very possible that Lauren & JDS wanted to do more with it but weren’t able to, and the most representation they were thus able to give was in the interviews and at the panels that people are now using as proof of being lied to. This behavior is unfair to the showrunners, and it’s even more unfair to take out your anger on the VA’s, who have little to no control over what goes into the show. @bext-k was actually one of the voices who made LGBT rep of any kind possible on Voltron, and yet now y’all are attacking her for it. 

By the way, the twitter letter, which was clearly meant to shame and demand an apology for a very harmful and serious trope that the show did not commit, was tacked on to one of @joshkeaton‘s posts. 

I understand that LGBT rep is both important and exciting, and it was disappointing to lose an LGBT character, but Adam was a minor character who was on screen for maybe a minute and I don’t think the Voltron team ever intended to cause the viewers this amount of hurt over his loss. They didn’t play it up in the show, which is typically what happens in the “bury your gays” trope; Adam was a piece of Shiro’s backstory, not a major character who was killed after reuniting and reconciling with Shiro. They had been broken up for years.

The “bury your gays” trope does not mean all gay characters should be immortal and are never allowed to die (although Shiro fits the bill for this perfectly, lol). Here’s an important excerpt for the TV Tropes Guide page for “Bury Your Gays:”

Sometimes gay characters die in fiction because, well, sometimes people die (this is particularly true of soldiers at war, where Situational Sexuality and Anyone Can Die are both common tropes); this isn't an if-then correlation, and it's not always meant to "teach us something", nor is it necessarily indicative of some prejudice on the part of the creator.

Additionally, the problem isn't merely that gay characters are killed off: the problem is the tendency that gay characters are killed off in a story full of mostly straight characters, or when the characters are killed off because they are gay.

Season 7 is about war. Earth is under attack by the Galra and sadly lots and lots of people die. Adam’s death wasn’t used as some sick example of “if you’re gay, this is what you have to look forward to,” which is what makes “bury your gays” so harmful in the first place. He wasn’t killed off because he was gay or in a relationship with Shiro, he was killed off because he was the last line of defense in a group of heroic pilots who gave their lives to try their best to save humanity.

Contrast this with one of the most egregious instances of “Bury Your Gays,” one which hurt me (for the record, a bi woman) so deeply that I stopped watching the show - (spoilers ahead) killing off Lexa in the show The 100. Clarke and Lexa reunited after the show (NOT THE FANDOM) had knowingly hyped them up for well over a season, made them canon, got viewers invested in them, and appeared to imply they would have a future together after a long and drawn out reconciliation and consummation of their relationship.

Then, out of nowhere, Lexa was accidentally shot and killed while in bed with Clarke. It was a pointless death, one meant only to further the plot and make the protagonist, Clarke, a bi woman, sad, angry, and potentially open to another (male) love interest. That is “Bury Your Gays,” and that is wrong and hurtful to LGBT rep as a whole. 

This is not that. We’ve had Shiro for seven seasons and he’s not going anywhere. 

I thoroughly enjoyed Season 7. There was incredible animation, voice acting, and so many new and wonderful characters, especially female characters, which are ALWAYS appreciated and needed in media. We got to see arcs for characters who had gotten less screentime and attention in the past, as well as fun moments with old favs. We got to see badass mechs punching each other in some fabulously choreographed and animated fight sequences. We got beautiful scenery and soundtracks, exciting character & relationship development, and some very emotional reunions. The season was about some heavy stuff, but had delightful humor sprinkled throughout in a very effective and entertaining way.

That being said, no, the season was not perfect. No season of any show is perfect. I have my own issues with it, and I do think the Adam stuff could have been done better differently, but ultimately it’s not my call, and I understand why they did it the way they did. 

It’s important to voice criticisms, don’t get me wrong. But please, voice your criticisms thoughtfully, maturely, and with empathy for the staff’s hard work on this show in mind, rather than being entitled, rude, and attacking the showrunners/VA’s about LGBT rep that we have no idea how hard they probably had to work for. I love Shiro, I love that Shiro is a canonically gay character, and I love Voltron. I’m so excited for the final season. This show isn’t about shipping or fulfilling fanon expectations and never should be. It’s a show about friends and robots and space and saving the Universe. 

And a gay character named Shiro.