#Its bc i want to dance at that one mall but theres a lot of ppl and i dont wanna play the music out loud bc my laptop doesnt get loud

[zhuhongs]

heaven lost an angel today... i sadly bought wireless headphones 😔😔😔

[babysizedfics]

okay okay please write a hc post about Roman and Virgil managing Thomas's romance life together and it being another one of Their Things, that Logan and Patton barely really participate in? Like I can see them all happy and excited to do this, and Roman reassuring Virgil constantly that he's okay and that they can do this? like idk man I wanna see your thoughts on this. - 🐇

okokokokokokokokok i LOVE this ask thank u!!! i actually ran away with this a lot im sorry but im just LOVING THIS EPISODE SO MUCH so here is the l/b rendition of what happens after!!

so roman and vee actually cant talk coherently for a whole day after they are just so happy!! squealing and giggling! and logan and patton are so shocked by how excited they are but like in the surprised laughter way, they see their boys jumping up and down and rambling and smiling so big and it makes them so happy to see!!

for that evening ro and vee are just ECSTATIC and virgil gets so excited that he loses his voice and goes mute and can only happy flap and squeak and laugh and hum and roman gets so excited that he has WAY TOO MUCH energy and goes for an hour long impromptu run - which logan joins him on because he is worried roman will get so excited he will run off track and get lost !!

and while lo and ro are running and logan is marvelling at how roman manages to run for five mins straight AND not stop talking the whole time, patton is with vee and vee cant talk he can only bounce and squeal and so patton just bounces with him!! they hold hands and jump! he hardly knows what theyre so excited about but of course hes gonna catch the excitement its so contagious!! so they bounce and giggle and pretty soon vee regresses into the most playful excitable little baby

and logan and roman return and roman is still excitedly rambling and logan is chuckling through his breathlessness because actually it was pretty hard to keep up with roman - then ro sees that vee has regressed and INSTANTLY goes into kiddo mode and they have the most fun filled excited happy evening where the boys are just so so so giggly and theres lots of games and bouncing and tickling

the next day they manage to calm down a bit and think and roman realises that maybe flirting and romance hasnt worked in the past bc he was mainly working alone and it is a big job to handle for just one side and it has such a big effect on thomas' mental state that maybe he needs some assistance

and he approaches virgils room and finds him laying face down on his bed with his face in a pillow - roman would be worried that he was crying but he could see virgil was kicking his feet against each other too and roman smiles and 'still thinking about it?'

virgils head pops up from the pillow with the BIGGEST smile and says 'DUH of course i am!'

'me too!!' roman giggles and jumps onto virgils bed beside him to lie down and kicks his feet against the mattress excitedly 'ahhhhh!' he squeals

'ahhhh!!' virgil echoes

after a trifle more gay screaming they calm and are sat shoulder to shoulder against the headboard and virgil is shaking jiji in his hands to help stim and roman is stroking a little giraffe plushie vee has and roman brings it up that he is planning on texting nico this morning

virgil smiles bigger and clutches the toy to his cheat 'oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh yes go for it please please please-'

'hang on!' roman giggles 'im telling you because i thought maybe you would wanna help!'

for the first time since they left the mall yesterday virgils smile drops

'virgil' roman starts, but vee so quickly cuts him off

'i can't, im gonna mess it up! whenever im in charge of somthing i just panic and ruin everyth--'

'you wont be fully in charge, we'll share that role!'

'i-' virgil hesitates 'i dunno...'

roman sighs, then a determinstion comes over him and he sits taller and asks 'who pushed thomas to chase after nico?'

the tiniest little smile twists the corner of virgils mouth, but he scratches his cheek to hide it and when his hand lowers its gone 'that wasnt even a-'

'who pushed thomas to chase after nico?' roman repeats, smiling and poking virgils shoulder

vee bites his lip and pulls jiji up to hi chin 'mmnmn'

'i cant hear it' roman insists, twisting on the bed to face virgil directly. he makes a bold move and even reaches out to gently push virgils chin up so he looks at him. theres happiness dancing in virgils eyes WHICH ARE SURROUNDED BY GLITTERY PURPLE EYESHADOW IN CASE ANYONE FORGOT

'i did' virgil mumbles, followed by a muffled giggly because holy moly he actually did that!!

'and thats why youre my new romantic coworker' roman says very proudly, beaming ear to ear, though he hastily adds 'if you want to!'

virgil considers it, bites his lip, strokes jiji, then his smile practicaly lights up the whole room 'yes!'

and they learn a lot from each other by working together! in this au virgil and patton are the only ones who dont have designated working days, their work is reactionary more than anything, they dont have to create ideas or file information like the others, they just react as and when needed dependeing on what thimas experiences. but working with roman is virgils first experience having a sort of routine with work - every tuesday is romance planning!

they leave it flexible of course on account of both of their neurodivergency and allowing room to push the day back if one or both of them are little, but the predictability is actually something that virgil rlly appreciates and looks forward to every week!

and roman learns ways of reeling in his more extreme ideas and being able to apply a sense of realism to his plans! plus it helps him a ton to be able to talk about ideas and get them out, it helps organise them in his mind - and virgil constantly telling him how great he is at what he does does absolute wonders for romans self esteem too

shoot im out of words bc i just got excited about the episode again ahhhhhh gonna tag this as to be continued!!!!

[babiedeku]

Could we please get some general relationship headcanons for Mina, Momo, and Ochako?

hello anon, thank you for this requests! and i hope you liked this bc its my first time writing for these ladies and i hope i did them good! - marianne

Mina

being in a relationship with Mina would mean that you get to go to many different places for your dates.

the mall? definitely going shopping for new outfits for each other! the milktea shop down by the road? you two have made it your mission to try everything on the shop’s menu. the lil cafe? study dates whenever you two want to get the job done and sneak in a date. the arcade? oh honey dance dance revolution is a fuckin must!

really adventurous and wants to try new things with you by her side

safe to say there isn’t a dull moment with her

though once you two are alone she’ll be so soft

hugs are a must

kisses? a requirement she just absolutely loves smothering you in kisses and she loves being smothered by kisses too!

loves loves loves to take pictures of you whenever youre out on dates! she has an entire ig story dedicated just for you on her ig account

she just loves showing you off!

also !! expect lotsa sleep overs at her or your dorm room! meaning theres going to be lots of movies, snacks, karaoke, and game nights for the both of you

sometimes you’d even invite the rest of the 1-A girls with you two which ends up with everyone not getting any sleep at all

overall, a relationship with Mina is a relationship filled with lots of smiles, fun, and love!

Momo

study dates are a staple in your relationship with Momo

whether it be in her room with some of her tea and snacks, at a coffee shop that the both of you like, or the UA library

i think you and Momo would be have that lowkey, soft, and loving relationship that everyone wishes to have

everyone’s hearts be busting out big fat loads of uwus for the both you!!

you also really appreciate how ready and willing she is to jump in and comfort you whenever you’re feeling down and offer to help you and any way she can

gets really flustered and blushy every time the both you kiss! its actually really adorable how flustered she gets, but is more than happy to give and receive kisses

spoils you with not only affection but also with material things that youve mentioned in passing

oh that one pair of shoes you liked at the mall? okay its yours! the plushie you found adorable when you were scrolling online? purchased and is about to be shipped to the dorms! she just loves spoiling you uwu

if youre not that confident in your fighting skills and your quirk expect to her to offer having you train with her - after all she just wants you to see how amazing you are as an upcoming hero! and this will also be beneficial for the both you

it would also be an added bonus if you like reading bc then she has someone to talk about books and possibly even borrow books from you!

if not its okay, she enjoys the comfortable silence you both share whenever she’s reading

a really soft and pure relationship!!

Ochako

soft and pure relationship #2!!!

uraraka would just be mcfreakin adorable!

openly giving you kisses, holding your hand, and giving you hugs in public!!

definitely spoils you with a heckin ton of affection each and everyday!! 

even the little things like getting you your fave snack because she thought of you or just leaving a lil note on the door of your room when she knows youre studying hard!

but boy oh boy when you give her kisses? she’s a blabbering and blushing mess that bashfully asks for more because she likes it whenever you kiss her

is practically the human version of the sun! she’s just so bright and bubbly that you find it so hard to not smile and look at how amazing life is

milktea shop dates? yes please! cat cafe dates? she is so down! sleepovers while you two pain each others’ nails and just munch on snacks and cuddle after? hell fuckin yes!!!!

is into giving handcrafted gifts like letters, cards, baking your favorite cookies!

disney movie nights are a weekly thing for you two after a long week of academics and training, some cuddling and karaoke is the best way to end a stressful week!

you two are just the biggest softies for one another, and it really shows and everyone just loves how you make each other happy!

requests are open!

[redandfranticfeelings]

My one of my biggest OTPs, Peter and Olivia from Fringe, have Pizza, wine and bad movie nights, what kind of dates do your OTPs go on?

*rubs my pathetic little hands together* this is a multifandom infodump so lets put it under a read more to not annoy my normal followers

hyperboner canon have movie dates, and gun shooting dates, and hot tubbing nights, and that hot air balloon duck shooting date. also i drew them going to a war for fun and getting ice cream after once so theres that lol

amedot dates are watching tv together snuggled in lots of blankets, and i can see them enjoying the arcade and going to town on dance dance revolution (peridot tries to cheat on video games with her magnet powers but amethyst calls her out on it playfully.....then they decide fuck it and they both cheat their way to a bunch of tickets and buy each other big ticket prizes)

candace wants big dates for her and jeremy so she can prove herself worthy of her love, thats basically canon, but eventually she realizes hes really more simple than that. so they stay at home and microwave pizza and watch cheesy teen flicks unironically. (for candace/vanessa: very similar except they watch the teen flicks ironically). candace/stacy do this and also go to the mall and stuff and buy each other cute gifts. and p much all of themare up for like, music festivals

kevin, arnold, and nabalungi went to disney world once and it was a pretty amazing experience for all of them especially kevin. arnold likes movie dates but hes a big movie talker, which the others dont really like much. when theyre still in uganda, nabalungi likes to take arnold to the market and kevin goes along bc its cute watching his boyfriend and boyfriend’s girlfriend gush over typewriters and stuff.

william and olive have study dates at the library to get out of their houses. they sometimes go to the park but only on certain days bc itll act up williams allergies a lot of the time.

meenah and aranea like to go to the beach, if you can do that on beforus without getting snatched by a lusus. but if a lusus does come around then meenah can kick its ass. they throw sand on each other playfully and meenah shows off her swimming skills and tries to find buried treasure. not for aranea but just for herself. well alright aranea can have this ONE pretty looking shell that kind of matches her horn

jade, dave, and karkat have mst3k style ironic movie riff sessions, though they like to invite john and rose and kanaya for these too. jade shows them how to garden so they can add a lot more beauty to their new universe. sometimes they all collab on an art project and it looks like a hot mess but it cracks them all up in the end

deedee thinks its fun to sneak into dexters lab with her boyfriend because dexter and mandark should just chill out and work together instead of being such babies about their rivalry. of course dexter doesnt like this but they have fun finding ways to get around his security system. but when that fails they can share a milkshake like they did in that one cutaway.

[sweatytyrantwhispers]

Part 4 of things my friends do that make me love them even more:

- both rachel and cristine are artistically talented and i cant fucking wait to see them become famous doing the things they love (i know theyll becoem famous i believe in them tht much) (rachel has a great singing voice; cristine has a great singing voice, knows how to play various intstruments, loves acting, and can paint/draw amazingly)

-seth tells me some catchphraes his fav youtubers say whenever we talk

-none of my friends (nor I) knows how to react or what to say most of the time, especially when it comes to gift giving and compliments; we’re all oblivious and awkward people that don’t understand society

-andy messes up on what to say to customer service people when its evening/night time cus we usually go out around tht time but he’s used to sauing have a good day

-andy also hates intersections so he’ll pretend hes walking in the other direction (away frm the intersection), stand on the sidewalk and pretend hes doing something, or take a whole other route if theres a car nearing the intersection bc he says it feels awkward

-rachel’s favorite animals are dogs and raccoons so when i send her a post abt raccoons she gets rly excited and says she wants to hv a raccoon as a pet when she grows up. She also gets excited when i point out a dog to her in public (she cant see it cus no glasses but still excited by its genert presence)

-dina is scared of lightning so I always try to ask her if shes alright when theres a thunderstorm

-when we go to the park, rachel almost always tries to make tiktoks. We always end up interrupting and annoying her while she makes them though, sorta like our little routine.

-last time we went to the park, rachel ended up accidentally hitting meng and I directly on the face with the volleyball (its ok though cause im pretty sure we’ve ended up accidentally hitting each other with the ball at least once)

-when i got hit with the ball dina asked me if i was ok but as she moved towards me she went for the ball (we were playing monkey in the middle and she was one of the monkeys); its just funny and i love that our friendship is at a point where we could laugh about it and everything is fine

-i told my friends that i was depressed before going to the park to hang out w them. when i got there i kinda just sat on the ground looking through reddit with music on high. they all tried their best to talk to me and tell me funny stories (they said they overheard a group of kids talking about how they pantsed another dude) to cheer me up. Dina and Rachel both decided to give me a hug at the same time and i toppled over. Dina gave me a hug again. I love them so much

- Andy called me while i was in class to tel me to look at the sunset. Its something that both of us have done a few times because we both love sunsets and usually see them when we’re out. Its a small thing but it makes me love my friends even more.

-I was on voice call with Rachel on discord and she laughed then sent the group chat a link to a tiktok

-(not my friend but my mom) She knows that i hate it when things are thrown out when they’re still good or can still be repurposed. Someone brought flowers home for some reason (i forgot why) but she was putting the flowers in a vase one day. Some of the flowers broke off the bigger portion of the stem and couldn’t be put into the big vase but she put a bunch of them into a small container for me and gave it to me. I loved it even though we did hv to throw it out like a few weeks later.

-My friends and I were at Central Park and we were waiting for my two friends to finish up taking pictures. Meng and I were taking a short nap (him sitting down w his elbows on his legs and me w my head on his shoulder) while we waited. We also shared my earbuds to listen to my music. I was p sleepy so I was on the verge of sleeping my also sorta aware of what was going on (mainly cus we were guarding our stuff while everyone else was taking pictures elsewhere). I was doing that thing you do when you’re nodding your head while trying to stay awake/go to sleep. I kept on doing that until he eventually sat up a bit more and pushed my head onto his shoulder better

-Samir looked at a shirt with george washington on it and confidently said that was benjamin franklin

-Dina was talking about how she kept on eating shrimo and peanuts even though she has a mild allergy to it. Rachel and I were telling her to stop and tht we’re not bringing it to the picnic on sunday cus we dont want her dying. She responded, very confidently, tht she “hasnt died before”

-Samir calls dina “d-money”

-Rachel gave me a hug as an im sorry for taking so long. (I genuinely didnt care cus even tho they do take a long time i still v much love them)

-Rachel takes tiktoks and videos of us while we’re out

-Rachel and Dina both got v the excited when i wore a skirt out today because I usually dress more masculine

-A few weeks ago (i think) my friends and I were at the park. I was trying to do something to meng and tripped and fell on the park ground (the part where there’s basically a bunch of tiny rocks on/in the floor). Meng was also trying to do that thing where two people hold a person’s arms and legs and swing them back and forth with me but forgot that if you take someones legs off the floor with no one else holding my arms, i would fall head first onto the park ground, which i did. Both times I laughed at myself but everyone rushed to me while laughing. Idk why but it made me feel like I was ok and safe, even if i was in so much pain, srsly i couldve had a concussion.

- Rachel and I both got excited bc we both wanted to got to the same college

-I call andy when im walking home by myself at night (or when the route im taking doesn’t necessarily hv a lot of people of lights) and he just vibes with me (sometimes talks to me abt how i should b home) until i get home safely

-idk if i already put this but Andy and I have a safe word when we think there might be someone behind us following us at night bc one time when walking home we thought tht and used our now safe word to see if there was someone

-Rachel and Dina do this thing where they take their hand and go from the side of someone else’s body (where the arms are) to the bottom of their legs rly fast while theyre walking. They call it “full body stroke”. They shared it w me and now we do it to meng almost every time we go out. Sometimes we do it together (one person per side).

-While at Central Park there was a dude that was singing (he was rly good). He started singing “Lean on me” by Bill Withers and my friends started singing along with him.

-Rachel sent me a tiktok knowing full well that itd make me gay panic bc yk ✨w o m e n✨

-Dina, Alan, and I stayed out after everyone else went home cus yk they were tired. Dina and I decided to talk like white girls/pick me girls the rest of the night with their stereotypical voices. We laughed the entire time and created weird storylines including: Jessica (Dina), Olivia (me), Jayden (Jessica’s boyfriend and brother that created on Jessica with me and Nicole), Nicole (Jessica’s friend), Olivia’s dad (a convicted felon in all 50 states and is dead), Jessica’s dad (a lawyer that’s also running for president, and Alan (he was just roped into our bs and was there to act like the dude that we both wanted to have as our bf).

- When we were in the bathroom and washing our hands, Dina waited until after the other woman in the bathroom to leave before coming up to me and, in a discreet whisper, told me that the soap was what “good pussy sounds like”

- Rachel, Dina, and I saw a few cats on our way to meet up with Alan and we played w the cats for a bit before one of them said “pspspspsp come here alan” to one of the cats. We now do this frequently to each other even though we hate it.

- We have corrupted each other to the point where we cannot hang out without someone saying “that’s what she said”, something about Dina being white, “just like this dick”, and “deez nuts”. We laugh about it a lot

- Rachel and I are both reasonably out of energy both mentally and physically after our jobs so when I walked w her to a mall w the rest of her friends, we both walked silently with a bit of catching up cause we both understood how the other felt

-We had a water balloon fight today at work (Alan, Rachel, and I work together). Obviously, I took the chance to pop as many balloons over rachel’s head and dump water on her. She tried to spray me w water using a water gun though. Afterwards gave the towel i brought to rachel cause she needed it to change. It’s important to note that rachel has purple hair right now and that the towel was white. key word: was. The towel was now stained a light purple (I dont mind but damn)

- i made rachel a purple raccoon by crocheting it (purple and pink actually). I finished it yesterday (sunday) and gave it today to her at work (monday). I opened the door a bit and peeked my head in with the raccoon just below me in my hands. She was confused at first but then saw the raccoon and her eyes lit up. It was rly cute🥰🥺 to see her get excited. We both nicknamed the raccoon “pimp jr.” and i made a lil name tag/from to tag that said it.

- rachel likes to lip-sync to music shes either listening to or hears in store and sometimes does a little dance with it. Its so cute and I love looking at her do it because it reminds me of why I adore her. She also goes hard when it comes to singing at karaoke. Like damn her vocal range is astounding

- dina got so excited when i asked her if she wanted to binge watch all the twilight movies with me. She looked so cute cus its one of her favorite movies. ugh i love my friends.

-a lot of dudes have crushes on rachel and dina and the both of them usually just try their best to avoid the person or avoid confronting them. Idk why but it kinda makes me feel grateful that I’m close friends with them because I used to have a crush on both of them before when we first met. When I told them i used to have crushes on them they didn’t act weird about it or anything and we continued to be friends. I’m so fucking grateful I’m their friend despite my initial crush on them cause they’re two of them most amazing people I’ve met my entire life.

-rachel, meng, alan, and I went to go watch Shang Chi in movies. In the last few scenes (which were v tense btw) rachel nd I both got rly anxious and squeezed each others hands bc we were scared out favorite characters were gonna get hurt. She squeezed the fuck out of my hand to the point where I couldn’t feel it anymore and neither could she. I’m ok with that though cus I’m glad she finds comfort in squeezing the living fuck out of my hands.

-dina, rachel, and I have matching bracelets from hot topic and i see them wear it almost every time we hang out. Alan and I have a matching pair too but I dont think he’s going to wear it very much (issok tho).

-We went to karaoke yesterday and I dont know how I just realized this but while she’s singing, dina likes to move around a lot. It’s not exactly dancing but not particularly just moving around. Its kinda like that tiny thing ppl do when they’re alone and playing their favorite songs on blast. She’s so cute when she does it, esp because she seems so happy when she does it. Even though I absolutely despise Justin Bieber, I would play his songs over and over again on blast if it made her as happy as she has made me.

-dina and I like to go to the swings and blast “Happier Than Ever” with earbuds in (we share a pair for this) and she screams along to it for the second half

-it’s become a “tradition” for us to go to the swings (most of time) after we’ve done the initial things we already planned out because dina and I love the swings.

[fluffi]

i think it was because god's menu was released around the same bp and svt made their comebacks. same thoughts tho on gm > bd and i was also glad that bd got the wins gm didn't. and same with the streaming mvs while studying : ] ahh, the easily distracted people we are. (reading cut and litol font bc poor ppl who see this on the dash TT)

i've heard chinese ballads (usually osts of films and from a chinese friend) and their songs really tend to tug on my heartstrings. i hope sm gives shotaro more stuff to do soon :[ with some of the units being active and sungchan being an mc on a weekly show, it makes me wonder what he's doing. do you think nct will form a new subunit?

no, i'm not lactose intolerant so it really took me by surprise. it was a one-time thing. hopefully it doesn't happen again. i can't really say i'm a big fan of ice cream but it's good occasionally yk as a treat to yourself. and ahhh, i miss drinking smoothies. my favorite stall has been closed for nearly two years now, idk if they ever re-opened since our city mall burned down :[

i think it's an nct thing? it's why i never get tired of them bc they're always active in a way. you should've seen how things went down last year! march 127 album, april dream mini-album, may 127 repackage, june wayv album and the whole nct 2020 thing. it was a wild year. about the track, i listened to it once and forgot about it. might give it a few more listens but it might not grow on me at all. yes! wasn't a big fan of hot sauce at first too bc i thought the intro was weird (not jaemin's part, like the first thing that plays). and yes, that hook loops in my head 24/7. i even made it my instagram bio.

stray kids world domination indeed! and i agree that their performances were really impressive (specially the deadpool one, best one yet) but sometimes i would fancy ateez' more. i didn't watch kingdom too bc it stressed me out as a multi. always caught between being happy for one group and being sad for the others. and atz and tbz! you're still getting into nct and you're thinking of adding 19 more boys! judging from what i know your taste in music is, i think you'll like tbz's music better since there are a lot more soft songs there than in atz. but do give both discographies a listen in the future!

oh izone! i've only heard of them at music shows and dance choreo compilations bc of them being in sync. they're really satisfying to watch! i thought their title tracks were catchy as well! quite unfortunate that i never got into them really. but again, i dont think i can handle stanning temporary groups.

i'm starting to see a pattern in your biases :D i wouldn't be too surprised if you'll be drawn to jeno at some point in your dream venture. dream is soooo easy to love so if you really end up ulting them, i would understand why. and also, YES PLEASE WRITE FOR DREAM AND TAG ME IF YOU WILL. THANK YOU ><

thank you! :c don't get your hopes up tho, the masterlist must've been interesting to browse but are the fics truly worth it? XD i think not. since you already know koe, i'm reccing users @/rouiyan, @/nsheetee and @/loonacitys. i don't have that much fluff in my ficrecs blog. i think, i've heard of lvdsc before (maybe even read a fic or two) but i can't find their blog now. be careful in privating your works, you might end up losing them forever if you don't keep track of their links...(?) that's what happened to the works that i privated :/ take me with you if you move blogs ;n;

seungmin frequently left updates abt what he was doing, left good nights and good mornings, the occasional i miss you. he called fans 'baby' once. not sure if it was a mistranslation, or really just a one-time endearment. other than that, nothing beyond the usual. seung vlives always make me cry ;n; he always look so adorable and precious. also the gif, the fic was more on fake head-butting really but yes you could say it was also a fake nose boop bc it sounds cuter. i'll make sure to tag you on future seung content on the dash. (time to officially claim him as your ult, yes. dont make him secret anymore :3)

sorry it took me a while. tumblr went batshit. the ' werkl;' stopped working midway and i got busy with school yesterday. also haechan birth today and i'm so emo abt it. it's literally just a boy turning 21.

little font and cut saga lets go!!

(just kidding, i cant do little font typing for long periods of time, makes my eyes go beserk haha.)

true true, im afraid for txt on music shows now because theyre going against some big names (literally bts like whatj jsdf what was hybe thinking). yeah, streaming mvs while studying aka watching mvs on loop lmao. i still want to stream skzs final kingdom performance on instinct but i remember that theyve already won!! hehe

ah chinese ballads always make me emo, i like to scream out lyrics to the songs at the top of my lungs and sit there on the verge of tears. its a cultural thing maybe *sobs*. ooh, what show is sungchan mc-ing in? ill check it out. i thought sm would make nct japan for sungtaro (i heard sungchan speaks japanese) so it was a shocker when they made...nct hollywood lmao. given the current circumstances we're probably not going to get a new subunit anytime soon :( hopefully taro will have stuff to showcase during that period of time.

burned down?? oh my, what happened to your mall? that sounds terrifying. i remember when the front of my school caught on fire and we were all ushered out but we thought it was a drill and didnt find out till years later lmao.

oh true, since theyre such a big pack too. constant comebacks and promotions haha, nctzens never catch a break with 23 members. i listened to the new track again (ive forgotten the name already) but i cant- i cant do it. its just not my style hhh. i rewatched the mv for the godly visuals though. i dont know if youre talking about that 'bibididibibidiododo' part by that female morphed voice at the beginning of the song, because i wasnt a fan of that too. it grew on me though.

same, actually! im not an atiny and dont stan any other group in the show besides skz but i watched each groups performance and ranked them haha. at times ateez would rank over skz, it was wild. also yeah, my other multi friend was freaking out about kingdom and ended up abandoning the show because she was so scared of the fanwars and having to deal with her 'conflicting feelings'. about the stanning thing, in my defense, i have a list of groups i want to stan and ive recently added tbz and atz. the list is long, i have a long way to go! also yeah, i dont prefer ateez's songs and i have a bunch of tbz title tracks in my playlist but if i approach their discography like i did with nct then i think i would like at least five songs.

izone are my queens. theres a reason why theyre the only girl group who made it to my ult list haha! super talented and filled with variety and visuals, a perfectly concocted group (literally, sobs in pd48 scandal). ah, temporary groups. yeah i cried about their disbandment for like 3 days straight, it was bad.

a pATTERN?? INTERESTING. DO ELABORATE. jeno, oh my gosh hes like bang chan. an intimidating-looking bear whos actually filled with love and softness on the inside. im currently having a jaemin run though, his make a wish fancam is doing some wacky things. also yeah, dream is really easy to love. i fell for them so hard, theyre all talented and cute and adorable and the team ambiance is so nice. really rising up my stan list now. i mightt write for dream! ill have to see, hehe.

personally i think the fics are going to be worth it. i can feel it in my boOOnes. ooh, recommendations! fun :D ill check them (and yours) out after i finish this 30k jisung fic. ive been trying to finish it since yesterday but i keep getting sidetracked. also, i made a mistake. its luvdsc with a 'u', maybe thats why you couldnt find it? ahh. thank you for the privating tip though! will keep in mind. and of course ill take you with me if/when i move blogs. we're friends now! <3

SEUNGMIN CALLED STAYS 'BABY'???!!@)(@#*()! I SHOULDVE BEEN THERE ASKDFJDF. im exciting for the fake nose boop drabble!! i love soft couple moments hehe. also yeah maybe its time to make him my ult...hes going to have to compete against jake my beloved ope.

dont worry about being 'late' or anything! we all have our own stuff to do. also yeah tumblr is weird asf sometimes. if you havent realized i typically answer longer asks around the same time everyday, when i get to sit in front of my computer and pull out my clickity-clackity keyboard. super relaxing.

AND YES HYUCKIE DAY!!! HES SO ADORABLE HONESTLY. im in love with all seven members of dream, my fic rec blog is currently filled with fics for them haha.

[zhuhongs]

When I was growing up I didnt understand why people shared food with others. I shared food with my mom and such, but that was it. I thought that sharing food was something people only did with those super close to them. I never once just considered sharing food with others like many families do.

I grew up as one of the only poor colored kids in a well off white neighborhood. My mom always had this weird complex. That she and the rest of our family "weren't like other Hispanic people" because we "didn't take handouts" and "didn't live like that" whatever that was supposed to mean.  I hate her internalized racism sm... it fucked me up so bad but i’m mostly over it and she is too thank god but that's a whole other issue for another text post) Thus she always ingrained it in me that I don't take food that other ppl are offering me. If a white person tries to give me food, they're probably just pitying me for being the poor girl. And if a poc gives me food, they need it more than I do, I should take it but pay them back later for it. To save face and not cause burden. I never thought twice abt it and it was rarely an issue. Most of my friends were white and their parents always thought it was kind that i offered to pay for my food but never let me. And my friends of color... well i didnt have many. I didnt have many friends growing up that I rlly remember. I was always just weird and quiet. I occasionally brought food on birthdays and got food for others on their birthday. But outside of special occasion I didnt go out of my way to give people food. If I didnt like something I'd give it to someone who did. And if someone was gonna throw something away, I ate it. I never let food go to waste. When I went out with people, I bought my food and they bought theres and we just ate. Nothing else. I never thought anything of it.

I remember a very distinct moment where I started to feel differently. I was in my second semester of university and my dance team was preparing for a performance over spring break. We had been practicing from 9am to 3pm and then decided to go to the mall to get food and just hang out for a bit. My university friend group is like.. notoriously bad at making decisions so I usually make the decisions for them bc theyre all so passive alkfjaslkfjd (THEY ALL HAVE OLDEST IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER OF COLOR SYNDROME like me too omg ik ur a ppl pleser but PICK SMTH, ily them... i’ll stop now) . SO we were deciding where to get food and settled on the food court and we all get what we want. So we did all that and sat a big table together and I just remember everyone putting the food in the middle and getting extra plates so we could take from each we wanted and have a little bit of everything. And at first i was like?? HUH!?? like I got what i wanted bc thats what I wanted and then planned to take my leftovers home to eat at work later that night. And that ended up working out, they could kinda tell that was my intention but ever since then I noticed that that friend group always does that. We all buy different things and share. I really used to find it dumb at first bc its my money and i paid for what i wanted. I didn’t want to take others food and I didn’t rlly want to give them mine. I thought that mentality was universal. I was always kinda on the outside with that group, we never fully meshed but I really wanted to make the effort to be friends with them because I knew it would be rewarding, even if we were just casual friends. And yea idk, just through them I began to kinda unlearn the way I used to feel about sharing food. It’s not about the money, it’s about the connection to others and about giving freely and letting others give to u. But money was always tight as a id. As I’ve started working and making money, thankfully i’ve abandoned this knee jerk reaction.

I read a chapter of a book for highschool english once called “Sharing Food as an Act of Communion” or smth along those lines and I got the concept but didn’t rlly think it was that deep. But in that moment, i started to understand it a lot more. Sharing food and sharing things in general isn’t about the object itself, its about what got u to that point to share something with someone. Due in part to way i was raised as I elaborated on earlier, I really wasn’t a loving or giving person. I was selfish. I was taught to be selfish. Because my parents had that mentality and passed it onto their kids. That was the cutthroat immigrant way of theirs. They were very much “pull yourself up by your bootstraps ppl.” My brother is still like that a bit. It’s very sad sometimes, I’m trying to get him out of it. Baby steps. My mom doesn’t understand why he’s so selfish. One of these days I think i’m going to sit her down and tell her that it’s her own doing. That how she raised us. But I know she doesn’t want to hear it, so for her sake and mine I just agree with her and let the issue pass without incident. I truly believe that kindness and community are the most radical things that humans have. I rlly do. It took me a long time to get there. I used to be so convinced I was better of alone. One man for themselves. I blame my father, i really do.

One time when things were really going to shit with my family, my dad came in my room and asked me how I could be so cruel to him when he was my father, completely unaware of the fact that I had been abused by him my entire life. He just didn’t register it that way bc it wasn’t physical. He said to me “You know Sage, I would expect this from your brother. But you’re a girl . I thought you’d be nicer, more loving and giving.” but it was his own actions that shaped this. And it wasn’t until I had stopped living with him at 18 that I was able to become more like how I am now.

Really, in the past I wasn’t a very nice or loving person. I wasn’t mean either!! I was just passive. A cold lake near a forest. I was nice looking on any surface level, but there was nothing warm or pleasant. A cold lake with jagged rocks underneath. With the help of others i’ve warmed, the rocks eroded down to something you would keep in a collection. I prefer it this way. I’ve healed a bit. I understand now what ppl mean when they say food is a love language. It isn’t one for me yet, but I recognize why it is for others. I get it now.