#JUST FYI -- still hate Dean's guts

[sml-str]

That vamp is not the person who should have killed Dean. Listen, if Dean had to die like, 20 minutes in by the hand of an old enemy, there is only one character I can think of who should have done it -- Jacob Pond. During the episode, they’re not on a hunt at all. It’s all just fluff, lazy days of talking about Cas, Jack, and how they’re missed and doing laundry, cooking, etc. Lots of Sam petting the dog. We’ll know they’re being hunted by something thanks to the first 2 minutes of the episode and maybe a few other small clips here and there. When Dean gets hit, he doesn’t see it coming -- or maybe he does, but he doesn’t act fast enough. The set up doesn’t really matter, but perhaps it’s outside of the bar that Sam and he were hanging out at. Dean goes outside into an alley for a minute, maybe to take a phone call.  Jacob Pond has been waiting for him there (maybe he set up that call). He shoots him straight in the chest (He has to use a gun, as a statement that he’s more than just a kitsune. He doesn’t want to kill to eat in the same way his mother didn’t, so he keeps the claws - and any instinctual urges that accompany them -- at bay).  Sam, of course, hears the gunshot. He runs out in time to see Dean bleeding out on the ground. He kneels down to start putting pressure on the wound (he has to if Dean is going to have a chance) and looks around frantically for the threat. Said threat is easily spotted - Jacob. He’s wearing a hoodie so that any security cameras can’t catch his face, but looking up at him from the ground, Sam can recognize the teen easily.  Jacob Pond is clearly about to bolt, but he stops, staring Sam in the eyes. Jacob is all too young to be a killer, and he’s clearly still a little shaken up about what he’d done. Jacob, voice cracking as though in tears, can only choke out one statement: “I had to.” 

Jacob runs and Sam lets him go, partially because Sam can’t afford to take pressure off of the wound but partially because Sam knows the truth in Jacob’s words.  Sam knows what it was like to be that kid, broken, angry, and desperate to kill the thing that murdered his mother.  Maybe Dean has time to give a final death speech - starts by saying that he “Probably had that coming.” Maybe he even admits he was wrong in killing Amy, words that Sam had just been waiting to hear but not like this. Maybe Dean gets to have the same, weirdly long speech he had in the finale. Or maybe Dean is silent, and his last words consist of the casual joke that he threw over his shoulder to Sam before he walked out.  None of the details of the proposed scenario really matter, but the point is, if Dean had to die, Jacob Pond should’ve been responsible. Keep in mind, the finale still likely would have sucked, but hey, at least the Big Bad would have been a bit better. 

[jesbakescookies]

Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Twenty Two

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others.. (FYI this is total fiction, as in I know nothing about JDMs life or that of his real SO and son etc. Because of this, for this work of fiction, they don’t exist. Jeffrey’s been a typical actor playboy dating fellow stars etc. This is written for sick daydreaming pleasure.)

Aria St. James is a busy woman with a thriving restaurant. She thought she had everything she needed until a few famous faces visit her dining room. A tall, dark and handsome actor decides Aria’s just what he’s been looking for.

Rating: Mature : NSFW **dirty dirty**

Aria stood inside the department store dressing room trying on a few dresses for Megan's party. The slinky black dress was gorgeous but way too sexy for the engagement party. She could see Jeffrey enjoying it though, so she set it aside to buy for a different occasion. She found a blue satin dress with pretty black lace edges, that hugged all her curves and wasn't too revealing for a party at Megan's high strung mother's home. Taking a picture of herself in it, she sent it to Megan with a question mark. 

"Looks hot!" Her friend replied as well as a bunch of flame emojis. "Jeff will total propose to you when you wear it."

"Fuck off." Aria texted back, a smirk curling her lips and a flutter filling her chest. She wouldn't admit it but the idea of Jeffrey proposing to her was exciting. Aria wanted him to, even though they'd only been together half a year. Maybe she was getting soft but the idea of calling him, her husband, stoked a fire in her guts. She wanted it, she wanted him and she wanted him to claim her.  

“Don't lie. You want him too just as bad as I do.” ~Megan

“You're way to invested in this supposed proposal.” ~Aria

“No such thing and we both know you're just as excited as I am.” ~Megan

“Fine. Okay. The idea is… nice.” Aria hit send but scoffed at her wording. It wasn't nice, it was fucking awesome. 

“Nice? Jesus, we need to get you a thesaurus. Try fucking amazeballs on for size.” ~Megan

“I don't think that's a real word.” ~Aria

“Shut your mouth and buy the goddamn dress. Make sure you have something sexy for underneath because after you say yes, that fuckhot man is going to take you hard and fast. I just know it.” ~Megan

“Jesus. Stop thinking about my boyfriend like that.” ~Aria

“Are fucking kidding me? I've been thinking about your boyfriend like that ever since Grey’s and I'm not stopping now!” ~Megan

“Ugh fine but I don't wanna hear about it.” ~Ari

“Fine.” ~Megan

“Fine.” ~Aria 

“:-P” ~Megan 

“:-P” ~Aria

Aria arrived at the restaurant after dealing with the bank deposit and found a few photographers hanging around. Sighing deeply, she checked her reflection in the mirror before exiting the car. She kept her sunglasses down and she approached them with a smile. "Hi guys." Aria greeted, smiling despite the desire to tell them all to get a life. She just didn't understand the draw of photographs of her walking across a parking lot. "Aria, where's Jeffrey this morning?" Laughing lightly, she replied, "Probably sleeping in!" "Aria what's your reaction to all the chatter between fans. There are some who dislike your relationship with Jeffrey." "To each their own. Me and Jeff are happy and that's all that matters to us." "How did you react when they called you the Yoko of the Walking Dead?" Snorting, Aria smiled and replied, "I thought it was clever. Look guys, we're just normal people living our lives together. Jeff and I love each other, what the internet thinks of us doesn't really matter. Now I've got a lot to do, so thanks for coming out." Sliding into the door before locking it behind her, Aria huffed out a irritated breath and strode to her office. "Fucking Yoko of the Walking Dead." She scoffed angrily. "Bunch of little jealous bitches."

"I'm sorry." Cheryl exclaimed before clapping her hand over her mouth as though trying to stop the words but too late. "What happened?" "There's these girls at table fifteen and they were talking shit about you." "About me? They didn't like their meals?" "No! About you and you being with Jeff." "Oh." Aria mumbled before asking slowly, "What did you do?" Cheryl shook her head as though refusing to say. "Cheryl how bad am I going to have to grovel?" "I told them to stick their opinions up their fat, skank asses." She confessed quickly before biting her lip painfully. Aria tilted her face to the ceiling and asked the dark metal surface why life hated her so much. Taking in a slow deep breath she started rattling off her to-do's. 

"Okay so I need to give Jeff a heads up because I'm sure this is all over Twitter or some other fucking popular bullshit site, he'll probably call his publicist who will hate my guts because I'm some no name asshole causing Jeff trouble, when he should date some starlet who knows how to be famous. Meanwhile I need to go apologize to these customers for... I don't know, being alive, while swallowing my pride and soul, one tiny piece at a time, like broken glass dipped in alcohol." 

When she was done, Aria found that everything in the kitchen had stopped. Looking around at them she realized she had spoken every word out loud. Blinking a few times she felt a weight lift as she decided what she was going to do. 

"I'm not going to do this anymore." She announced. "I'm done doing this."

"What? Ari no!" Cheryl exclaimed.

"No really its over. I'm done being this person."

"Fuck, Ari don't do it. You can't break up with Jeff. He's amazing!" Javier urged, his eyes wide as she stared back blankly. 

"Break up with Jeff? What the fuck? No! No..." she scoffed shaking her while taking her apron off and unbuttoning her chef coat. "No. I'm done playing this game."

"What're you gonna do?"

"I don't know yet but I'm going out there and we'll see what comes out of my mouth but I'm not apologizing for being in love with a man who loves me back. What we have is fucking real and what everyone else thinks doesn't matter but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. So that stops now. I'm done feeling hurt." Swallowing thickly, she combed her hair with her fingers and asked Cheryl, "Gloss?"

The blonde handed it over instantly, the woman's eyes filled with regret. "It's okay, Cher. I'm not mad. I'm... I don't know. It was rude of you to say that but I understand.. thanks for sticking up for me."

Without waiting for a reply, Aria strode out onto the floor. She found the table near the center of the dining room and realized that whatever was about to happen, would be in front of every other customer in the restaurant.

"Fuck." She muttered under her breath. 

Coming to a stop at the table, she smiled politely and greeted them, "Hello ladies. I heard there was an... unfortunate incident."

"Your waitress is a bitch." A girl snapped, her eyes narrowed and lips smirked. "I mean, I guess it makes sense. She works for you."

Aria clenched her jaw but kept a smile on her lips. She gestured to a chair at the next table and asked the other patron nicely, "Would you mind terribly if I used this chair, sir?"

"No, of course not." The older gentleman replied, "and I have to tell you, this is the best pasta I've had since our honeymoon in Italy."

Smiling widely, Aria replied, "Thank you very much. I actually backpacked through Italy. I learned that technique, the curl, from a skinny little Italian who had to be in his nineties. Francis Francisco, if you can believe it."

The man chuckled and patted his wife's hand. "Well thank you. It took us back." "You're welcome. Thanks for coming in." She answered before pulling the chair over to the table of young women. 

"So, look. I appreciate that you're fans of Jeff's. Believe me, I understand it. He's an amazing actor, a great person, nicest man I've ever known. And I mean look at him." She trailed off with a chuckle and a genuine smile. "I get it and I appreciate the enthusiasm. Back in the day I loved Christian Slater, no joke. I wanted to marry him and have his babies. I was obsessed with him, knew everything, anyone could know."

Looking over the women watching her with narrowed eyes, "I think what gets lost is that stars are all real people. I mean they're on your tvs, your laptops, your cellphones. You can pay money to meet them, talk to them, take photos with them. Famous people are so available to be fawned over that it starts to feel like you know them. You know how they feel, what they think, what they like and that's all well and good but they're real people. They've got families, friends, spouses."

The women shifted in their seat, the ring leader looking less moved by the words but still regretful. 

"I get by having them so ingrained in your lives you become protective and invested in what they do and who they see but I mean this world is filled with such tragedies and hardships. We've all been through shit, so why would you ever wanna stop two people from being happy together? I mean it's pretty rare and me and Jeff are just two people who were lucky enough to find each other."

"I get that you don't like me." Shrugging her shoulders Aria looked them over and said, "But I'm no better or worse than any of you. I'm a high school drop out from a trailer park in nowhere, Nevada who worked her way up by tooth and nail. I spent my teens up into my twenties pretty much homeless, washing dishes and mopping floors to feed myself while sleeping on park benches and under bridges. Everything I have today, I've worked myself to the bone for but I'm just a person like any of you."

She looked them over seeing chewed lips and wide eyes. Aria was beginning to understand that they were expecting something completely different, a confrontation rather than a peaceful discussion.  "All I'm asking is that you give us the respect and privacy that you feel you deserve. Now, I apologize for what your waitress said. It was inappropriate and she'll be reprimanded for it. I don't take customer complaints lightly. So dinner is on the house this evening and you're welcome back anytime."

Smiling at them, she stood up and without waiting for a reply, returned the chair to the table behind her, giving the man a nod. "You two have a good evening. Get the tiramisu, another recipe from Francis. You'll love it."

Jeffrey had just sat down to get changed out of his Neganware after a photo shoot, when his phone blew up. He had text messages and notifications popping up while it rang. Seeing his publicist calling, Jeffrey answered but before he could get a word out she said, "We've got another situation."

"What now?"

"Your girl went rogue."

Chuckling, he asked, "what'd she do? She didn't hit anyone did she?"

"No but she confronted a table full of fans."

"Shit." He sat forward, pressing his elbows into his knees. "What happened? Is she okay?"

"Apparently there was a confrontation between the fans and one of her waitresses. It's all over Twitter and Tumblr. Aria then came out and sat with them. There's a video. Truthfully... I don't know if I could've done it better." Jeffrey smirked and asked, "What'd she say?"

"You should just watch it. I'm sure someone's sent it to you. You're girl is very well spoken Jeffrey. I'm I'mpressed.”

"Alright. I'll call you back."

Thumbing through the countless messages, Jeffrey found the link to the posted video. He watched as someone set their phone up to record the conversation, they'd obviously planned whatever was about to happen. He smirked as he watched Aria walk up with a friendly smile that did reach her eyes. 

He listened to her speak to the older man behind them, soaking up the little tidbits she'd share about her life when it came to food. She was an open person but would only talk about her past when asked. They'd shared many nights talking over the phone or on the laptop, both finding out about each other slowly. He knew the broad strokes of her life but there was still the nitty gritty that one only learned over time. 

When she began speaking to the girls, he leaned forward and watched carefully. "They've got families, friends, spouses." She spoke, the words ringing in his ears. Chewing his lip, he watched her continue and learned more about her youth than he'd known before. It surprised him but explained the strength and perseverance he loved about her. The reasons he wanted to marry her. 

Swallowing thickly, he sunk back into the sofa and watched as she walked away. 'Well fuck,' he thought, rubbing his mouth and jaw in thought. 

Closing the video, Jeffrey called Aria and tried to steady his mind and calm his voice. He wasn't sure how she was going to take the revelation that she had been filmed and it was all over the internet already. 

"I'm sorry." She greeted him with. "I fucked up and I understand if you hate me."

"You done?" He asked gruffly, a smile tugging at his lips. "You know what they say about people who assume things right?"

"Jeff, come on. Not only did I go out and make a scene, I didn't notice them fucking filming it? God I'm such a dumbass."

"Sweetheart, you're a lovely, well spoken woman, who not only confronted a bunch of bullies but did it with class." He drawled, cocking his head to the side as he replayed her words in his mind. "I'm a lucky fucking man to have such an amazing woman in my life."

Jeffrey could hear her breath hitch and the sound of her sitting down heavily. He listened to the kitchen noise in the background, his own breath stilling as he waited for her to speak. 

"So you're not mad?"

"No darlin’. I'm deeply and utterly in love with you."

"Jeff." She gasped. 

"It's true. Watching you speak... it's just clarified what I feel for you. I can't see my life without you, Aria."

"I love you too." She murmured, her voice turning soft and sweet. Jeffrey leaned forward and offered, "I say we go to Megan's engagement party and afterwards we take a vacation. I have a friend with an awesome beach home. Me and you and empty sands."

"That sounds amazing. I'll start working on clearing my schedule." She spoke with a sigh, relief obvious in her tone. "How long?"

"I want to say forever but probably a four or five days if you can."

"Oh I'll make it happen." She laughed. 

Jeffrey could picture her smile and twinkling eyes. When his dick twitched at the thought of her in a bikini, he offered, "I'm really good at applying suntan lotion so feel free to wear as tiny of a bikini as you can find."

Snorting, Aria replied, "Bikini? Who said anything about a bikini?"

Find Chapter Twenty Three Here:

http://jesbakescookies.tumblr.com/post/163545324206/too-hot-to-handle-chapter-twenty-three

I started posting this fic over on AO3 also. I will probably post in both places since I’m still figuring out AO3 formatting etc.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for updates. I’ll try my best to remember!

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[deepcrimsonroses]

I finally remember what I dreamed about last night

I dreamed that I was in this dungeon like place, filled with water up to my waist. There were lockers every where, and benches. Basically it looked like a dark, metallic change room that got flooded… But that’s what it actually was. I was apparently an athlete in a very strange sport (it isn’t any sport in the real world, it was made it up in my dream); it involved something similar to basketball/hockey/dodge ball… with a twist. Yes, was a little more than a hybrid sport but there was no ball and the entire court filled with water reaching the waist. This is not what was important though. Here’s where it gets real... 

I stop mid-game because I suddenly felt something in my gut, some strange feeling that made me want to leave the court. And the game itself. My head started to ache, so I went to side and leaned against the wall. Coach dove in and strode to my side, asking what was wrong. And I told him I had to leave to do something important. With that I went out of the court and into the change room.

I sat on one of the benches for a while, trying to dig into my mind, searching for a reasonable explanation. Really any explanation. I opened up my locker to get my stuff (I found that I had took a locker that was completely different from the one I apparently usually take, I don’t know how important this piece of information is but I shall include this anyway). As I opened up the locker, I heard a sad whining close by. I looked around and saw nothing; surely there couldn’t be anyone else in the change room while the game was still going on? Furthermore, I was planning to head home at that moment. I slung my bag over my shoulder. And there it was again. I couldn’t figure out where the whining was coming from, until suddenly I had a golden retriever pup in my arms. It slept fairly silently, it was restless... and occasionally whining. At that moment, coach came in the change room, apparently looking for me, and was stunned at the sight of me with a puppy in my arms. I asked what to do with it. Surely I couldn’t take care of puppy, not after what happened to Dean, and especially not with two cats and a toddler to take care of.

But it was a golden retriever, my favorite breed. And it was whimpering... the only way it would calm down was if you squeezed him tighter and shushed him lovingly. The coach just stared at me, waiting for me to make a decision. He had the face of someone who would give their support, no matter what I chose to do. 

The dream took so long, and certain elements were starting to shift into those of a nightmare. For example, the water levels were starting to rise... but ever so slowly. My dream-self was starting to feel especially anxious... and the room started to get darker. Coach was starting to lose his face, morphing into a dark, fluid humanoid form. I was in an obvious panicked mode. 

Then it whimpered. That’s when I made my decision; I was to take this puppy in, raise it, and take the very best care of it. That split second I made the decision, the whole scene changed. The room became brightly lit and cozy, the waters disappeared, the lockers looked warm and lovely. What was formerly my Coach was now an elegant looking woman, with hair that flowed the way light does, smiling radiantly at me. The puppy was now on the ground beside my feet, yipping happily. Wide awake. I was confused for a second, but the feeling was quickly replaced by an overwhelming sense of peace and content. I gave one last look to the woman, then at the pup. Its eyes gleamed brighter than sunshine; they screamed love. I smiled.

Then I woke up. 

PS, I think that the dream/nightmare made sure to continue getting darker, not ending until I made a decision.

PPS, Dean FYI was a dog that my family got when I was 14. A St. Bernard pup, but we had to give him up after a year because he was too much to handle in a household where both parents worked, the older children in school, and a two year old to take care of. Not to mention the relatively small living space. It all became too complicated and a lot of family problems arose during that specifically stressful time. And after a lot of arguing, we all finally agreed to give him away. His loss also dealt a big blow to the family emotionally, especially to my father. This lead to even more family issues. In light of the events that took place at that point in my life, I have become very distrustful towards dogs. Maybe it’s a lingering feeling of anger—I blamed Dean for everything bad back then. Or maybe, I just feel really scared that getting a dog might possible destroy my life. I don’t know. I am obviously exaggerating about how I feel for dogs; I don’t hate dogs, I promise. 

Given the background I have, this dream is quite unsettling. I’d like to try to decipher a hidden meaning or message behind it. If anyone on Tumblr would like to pitch in any idea, I’m open... I really don’t know why I am putting this out here; usually this kind of thing stay in my journal, but I am posting it now, before I change my mind. It’s probably because it’s very early in the morning, I couldn’t sleep... I can’t be sure.