#Jack: hold on tight spider monkey

[your-favorite-bean]

Headcanon that since Jack is a winter spirit and all that. His skin and hair sparkles like freshly fallen snow when the light hits it.

When twilight comes out he is ecstatic that he too has “the skin of a killer, bella”

And yes he has acted out several scenes much to others annoyance (and confusion)

[aerodaltonimperial]

Might be a little late for besties prompts but I had a Bad Idea and figured I'd share it - remember your headcanon from your euclid aftermath fic, that Jack would need to be coached in, ahem, certain matters? What if Jack realised that himself and decided to ask his best bro for advice?

(i'm sobbing, this is so terribad, but here we go)

The knocking is an insistent, erratic rhythm until Hook opens the door to reveal Jack on the other side. "I need help," Jack proclaims, and pushes in without another word.

"What kind of help?" Hook asks, and then glances at the clock on the bedside table. "Jack, it's after midnight. Can't this be a text? Or wait until tomorrow?"

"This can't be a text." Jack holds his hands up, as though steadying himself. He sucks in a deep breath as his gaze skitters off to the side, and then goes back to Hook's face. "I think I might be a bad kisser."

Hook stares at him for long enough that Jack starts nervously fidgeting back and forth. "Goodbye, Jack."

"No, no, no! Hear me out, hear me out, please. Listen." Jack grabs Hook's arm with too-tight fingers. "Listen. I was in the middle of...progressing things, okay?"

"Jack, oh my god, no."

"And then she got all weird, and kind of squirrelly, and ended up leaving and wouldn't tell me why. It has to be me."

"Yeah, your personality and the fact that you came here at 12:30 to dump this on me. Bye."

"Hook!" Jack's grip tightens, and he's gonna leave bruises at this rate. "What if I'm a bad kisser? How do you ask this? I need help!"

Hook is gonna kill him. He's gonna redrum Jack into the cheap hotel carpet and never look back again. "I cannot believe we are having this conversation right now."

"Well, I need your help! You're the only one I can trust."

"How am I even supposed to tell you if you're wrong or right?" Hook demands. And then, when Jack sort of...purses his mouth funny, groans. "No. No. Jack. Absolutely not."

"Please. I have to know."

"Go find someone else!"

Hook tries to shake Jack off, and Jack throws his arms around Hook's entire torso, clasping his hands on the other side like a vice. "Hook! You're my best friend! I need you for this, there's no one else I can ask!"

"Oh my god." Hook shakes his arms to no avail. Jack is a spider monkey with a death lock on his wrists. "Okay, okay, Jesus Christ. Just...let go."

Reluctantly, Jack complies. Hook pushes him into the center of the room with both hands flat against Jack's shoulders. He sucks in the longest breath ever and counts. Then he sighs. "Okay."

"Okay?" Jack repeats.

"Just...ugh." Hook leans forward to kiss him. It's fast: a chaste press of their closed mouths together. When he pulls back, Jack's expression is deeply annoyed.

"How are you going to tell anything from that?" he asks. "That was like a 13-year-old kissing his crush on the playground."

"Come on," Hook whines. "God, this is the worst."

But, ugh, whatever. He's probably kissed people in the past that he regrets way more than this. He leans in again and fine, fine, this time he puts some effort into it. Jack's mouth is a lot more pliable than some of Hook's lip-locking partners have been, so it's not like it's horrible from the get-go or anything. And when Hook offers more pressure, coaxing Jack's lips apart, the man obliges without hesitation. It's not bad. Actually, it's pretty good—Jack sweeps his tongue in along Hook's lower lip but doesn't press the issue too hard, and gets a hold of Hook's head as though he's going to control the angle they work from, touch just strong enough to be a suggestion.

By the time they pull apart, Hook's breathing a little hard, a sure sign that the whole situation was working for him. He presses his tongue against the corner of his mouth, and says, "No, no, that was pretty good, actually. I don't think it was you."

"What?" Jack balks. "What else could it be?"

His phone dings from his pocket. Frowning, he pulls it out and types in his passcode, eyes flickering across the screen as he reads. Then his expression changes. "Oh."

"Oh what?" Hook asks.

"She, uh, ended up getting sick. Left because she didn't feel good." Jack has the decency to look guilty. "So, uh."

"Are you fucking serious? Jack. Now we're both probably going to get sick!"

"Ah. Well. Hm." Jack nods. "Okay. I might have overreacted a little bit here."

Hook stares at him. "You think?"

"If it makes you feel any better, you're a great kisser?" Jack offers.

"I hate you so much right now." Then Hook pauses, contemplative. "You said great?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'd say great, yeah."

Well, that's a win, Hook supposes. And that's pretty much all he has to cling to when the two of them both spend the next 48 hours with the stomach flu, stuck on their respective bathroom floors as they pray for the sweet release of death.

[fubureaders]

snippet from thirteen (gar logan x black!fem!oc) on wattpad

aka incorrect quotes

THEA: jack of all trades, master of none. better than to be a master of one. in other words, suck it bitches DICK: thea, watch your tone THEA: dick, watch your inability to fully express your emotions. anyway, do we have tater tots in the freezer? KORI: sweet potato or golden? maybe both, we've worked hard enough

THEA: it's always "help me i'm dying i need you to save me," but it's never "help me i've got too much money and i need someone to spend it on" GAR: what do you want? THEA: i don't know yet, didn't think i'd get this far GAR: let me know when you figure it out THEA: .....did i tell you how much i love green? money, nature, you, good things come in the color green

GAR: there was this one video game i really wanted, but before i could grab it the security guard tried to shoot at me and THEA: all i need is an address, a name and/or a photo of the person. anything else, my darling, you claim plausible deniability, do you understand me? also what was the name of the game, i've got my phone right here and my thumb's ready to click "add to bag" GAR: ......is it bad that i find that kinda hot?

CONNER: i just think that maybe thea shouldn't get so angry at the small stuff THEA: funny coming from the guy who's basically three years old and immediately responds to any insult with heat vision RACHEL: backs away in case Conner does in fact bring out the heat vision CONNER: three and a half, thank you very much.

GAR: *facing a mirror during training, sees Thea sneaking up behind him trying to play it cool* GAR: *turns to face away from the mirror hiding his smile* THEA: *evil smile and run to jump on Gar* GAR: *easily catches Thea and lifts her onto him for a piggyback ride* THEA: hey wait a minute GAR: *monotonous* ah i'm so scared, you really got me GAR: better? THEA: yes thank you (big smile) GAR: hold on tight spider-monkey THEA: nope *gets off and walks away*

(set during season 1 episode 5 where they're all showing off their powers. saw this on tumblr from user @tenpintsof-sundrop and loved it) TIGER!GAR: *growling* DICK: come get your fucking dog bitch!! THEA: *giggling* he don't bite TIGER!GAR: *still growling* DICK: yes he do!!!!!

so please if this sounds at all interesting to you, then check out thirteen (a gar logan x black!fem!OC book) on wattpad, with chapters uploading every week starting this week! should have the first episode up by this friday the 13th (spooky ooky i guess). and here's the link, don't fret

[officialah]

Where the hell have you been loca?! Theater Mode is taking on Twilight! Only at RTX!! 

Tickets: https://bit.ly/rtx-evening-events

Badges for RTX: https://bit.ly/RTXBadges

[gryffindorkxdraws]

J A C K U N Z E L // Tangled Guardian

Jack Frost x Rapunzel Corona

Jack: you 🥰 better 👀 hold 👏🏼 on 🤩 tight 😳 spider 🕷 monkey 🙈 Rapunzel: did you just reference Twilight to me 😩😆

[kenzieam]

Beauty and the Blackheart - Chapter One

@jewels2876​​  @moonbeambucky​  @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​​  @iammarylastar​​@captstefanbrandt​​  @badassbaker​​  @pinknerdpanda​​  

I know I’m forgetting people, sorry. If you want in, hit me.

************************************************************************

Rating: M

Warnings: Language, general nuttiness, smut

Word Count: 2750+

************************************************************************

Okay, so……

Lev, the serious one, is visiting her wild-child twin brother, Clint. There she meets Bucky, a tall, dark, brooding mystery who’s her total opposite in every way. Of course, she’s intrigued even as her mind screams to run for safety, but what could go wrong, right??

***********************************************************************

As the seatbelt light shut off, Lev exhaled a deep breath and stood, pulling on her plain white button-down shirt to smooth the wrinkles and drew her backpack from the overhead compartment. Slinging it on her shoulder, she waited quietly to exit, grimacing faintly as a Karen behind her began to object loudly to the order, demanding she and her little darling exit first.

Lev agreed wholeheartedly, about to push the bitch out of the plane herself, boot her offspring out behind her, but held back, taking another deep breath.

Thankfully, no one else seemed inclined to indulge Karen and she subsided with a few indignant, unladylike sounds, falling into line with something resembling humility.

And, thankfully, Karen headed off in the opposite direction once they hit Arrivals. No doubt to find someone else to pay for her inconvenience.

Jesus, that was why she’d chosen Trauma medicine as her specialty, the situations were too life-and-death for such foolishness. Shaking it off, she raised on her tiptoes to see over the crowd, looking for a certain familiar face.

“Hey, Trouble!”

Lev startled, whirling. “Jesus, Clint!”

He laughed gleefully, killing himself and Lev fought a smile, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You’re a bastard.” She said, by way of greeting, which only added to Clint’s mirth. Still howling, he slung an arm around her neck, giving her a close-up view of his heavily tattooed forearm.

“I missed you,” he laughed, pressing a messy kiss to her hair, roughing it up just the way he knew she hated.  

The perfect definition of ‘good twin/bad twin’, Clint and Lev were alike only in a shared birthdate and parents. Even from birth it was obvious they were polar opposites; the fair-haired little Clint wild and incorrigible, the darker Levka all seriousness and calm serenity. While Clint could rock and roll for hours past bedtime, infant Lev would settle right away, ignoring the antics of her slightly older brother as he weebled and wobbled the next crib over.

The dichotomy continued throughout their childhood, with Clint deciding to refer to his serious little sister as ‘Trouble’ entirely to illustrate just how ‘un-trouble-like’ she truly was, while he happily answered to anything she threw at him, up to and including ‘you little shit’.

“I missed you, too.” Lev admitted, fighting a grin; although complete opposites, they were inseparable, yin and yang all though their shared lives.

“C’mon.” Clint pulled her towards the luggage carousel, squinting at the rotating bags. “So, which plain black bag is yours?”

Lev made a face, just because he preferred shades electric didn’t make hers plain. Reaching for the familiar case she smirked when Clint whistled.

“Whew, a silver one? Who are you and what did you do with my baby sister?”

“Shut up,” Lev laughed, dropping the case unceremoniously in Clint’s arms, grinning when he grunted under the weight. “Take me home, I’m hungry.”

Clint rolled his eyes, jerking his chin in the right direction as he turned and walked away.

“So, how’s the life of a doctor?” Clint asked as they roared down the highway, perched high in his jacked-up pickup.

Lev grinned. “I’ve just finished my residency, I’m not a true doctor yet.”

“But you will be, soon?”

Lev nodded. “Yeah, I took a few months off but I’m pretty sure I’ll be working with Dr. Hawkins.”

“That ER guy? The one you trained under?”

“He’s the one.”

“What is it with you and that ER trauma stuff?”

“What is it with you and tattoos?” Lev shot back mildly. “You never even had a tattoo until you met Nat out here.”

Clint shrugged, glancing down at his fully inked arms. Ten years ago, when Lev had been heading directly to university after high school graduation, Clint had thrown a duffel bag into his old beat-up Camaro and gone on a road trip, no destination in mind, no real plans. After a while he’d met a similarly spirited woman named Natalie and, after a whole whirlwind week of romance, married her in her hometown city hall, calling afterwards to inform his family that he was surprise! married and moving in with his new wife.

If Clint had been anything less than a Tasmanian Devil all his life, this might have surprised his family, but his parents took the news in quite a blasé way, even laughing as they told Lev during their weekly check-ins.

While Lev had met her sister-in-law a few times in the decade since, it had always been when Clint had flown home to visit, and Lev happened to be home from school as well. She’d never gone out to visit her brother, and these few months after her residency had been the perfect time to remedy that.

“You going to let me give you a tattoo finally?” Clint asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Lev leveled a glare at him. “Are you any good?” It was a joke, and they both knew it. Despite having never touched a tattoo gun until after he’d married Nat, Clint had proved himself an absolute prodigy, joining Nat’s brother and his friend as an apprentice in the local parlour and quickly becoming a startling skilled artist.

Five years ago, that brother-in-law, his friend and Clint had all gotten together to open their own shop, Blackheart Ink and Body Mod, where you could get a wrist tattoo and a nipple piercing all in the same day.

“You know I am.”

“No.”

“C’mon, get a piercing at least.”

“No!”

“It doesn’t have to be visible-”

“Clinton Derrick Barton!”

“Levka Valentina! Or should I say Dr. Levka Valentina Barton!”

“Don’t,” Lev rolled her eyes. “I still say mom was high when she named me, you at least got something normal, which is ironic, since you’re anything but.”

“Love you, little sis.”

“Love you too, ass. Are you taking me to your place?”

“Nah, I thought we’d stop by the shop first.”

Lev hesitated, she felt dirty and wrinkled, always preferred meeting strangers looking her best.

“You look fine.” Clint deadpanned. “Stop worrying.”

Lev huffed at her infuriating brother, pulling down the visor to check herself in the mirror. Frowning, she pinched her cheeks for color, making Clint shake his head and chuckle. Running her fingers through her hair she contemplated grabbing some facial wipes from her backpack, but by then Clint was slowing down, flipping on his signal light.

“Here it is.” He announced proudly, pulling up in front of a large storefront. Painted black, with the shop’s name displayed prominently you would be hard to mistake this as anything but a black hole of debauchery and Clint grinned, elbowing Lev when he saw this in her eyes.

“You’re such a snob.” He teased, laughing.

“And you’re deranged.” Lev lobbed back, sticking out her tongue.

“Do that again and one of the guys will pierce it.” Clint snickered, yanking open the glass door. “Hey assholes, I’m back! Oh, hey Spider, didn’t know you were here, getting a touch up?” Instantly Clint integrated himself into his habitat, heightening the difference between him and his sister, who stood just inside, looking lost.

“Christ, baby. You could introduce her to everyone.” Nat scolded mildly, elbowing Clint as she passed. “Hey, honey. Welcome!” She opened her arms, gathering Lev into a tight hug, pulling back to grin at her. “You look great, Lev. How are you?”

“I’m good, Nat. Thanks. What about you.” Lev replied, grinning, almost stupidly grateful.

“Oh, getting by. These guys keep me busy.” Nat gestured over her shoulder with the flip of a wrist, which seemed to be some kind of signal for Clint and a tall blond holding a tattoo gun and leaning over whom she assumed was ‘Spider’ based on the giant Black Widow tattoo on his bald head, to start hooting like monkeys. Nat’s gesture morphed instantly into the bird, which she doubled by adding her other hand when she spun to face the men. “Oh, shut the hell up!” Glancing back at Lev she grinned fondly. “See, barbarians and fools.”

“Hey.” Spider protested with a grin.

“And bikers.” Nat teased back, taking Lev’s hand and pulling her nearer. “Lev, this is Spider, as I’m sure you’ve figured out.”

Lev offered a timid smile, received a crooked grin and wave back, one gold tooth glinting underneath a thick goatee.

“And this big dickhead is my brother, Steve.” Nat continued.

Steve pulled his attention away from Spider’s tattooed bicep and nodded, a surprisingly handsome smile lighting up his face. “Hi.” His deep voice was gentle, a startling contrast to his intimidating bulk, highlighted by a fitted tank top that hugged each muscle and showing miles of velvety, inked skin. A short crewcut showed off strong, clean-shaven features and his blue eyes sparkled with good humor. “So, you’re Clint’s twin sister. We’ve heard a lot about you.”

Lev felt her cheeks warm; she could only imagine the stories Clint had told. “Oh, really?” She squeaked, flicking a glance at Clint, who grinned merrily back.

“Uh huh,” Steve turned his attention back to Spider’s arm, wiping carefully at a spot before speaking again. “He says you’re a doctor.”

“Yeah,” Clint broke in, slinging an arm around Lev’s neck. “She can take a look at that growth on your ass-”

“Clint!” Both Lev and Nat screeched, and he yelped as Nat connected with the back of his head.

Steve threw Clint a look, one of mild exasperation and brotherly tolerance before turning his blue eyes back to Lev. “I don’t have a growth on my ass, but maybe you can prescribe your brother some sort of heavy sedative.”

“Hey!”

Steve grinned at him, lessening the dig then winked at Lev. “Welcome, Lev. Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Lev replied, feeling herself relax. He may have looked like a barbarian, as Nat had put it, but Steve seemed to be a kind soul, a genuinely benevolent person.

“I was wondering where you were hiding!” Clint suddenly shouted, pointing as if Elvis himself had just appeared from the back room. “Lev, this is the other third of the Blackheart team, Bucky.”

Lev turned at Clint’s direction and froze, her heart suddenly afflicted with tachycardia.

If she’d thought Steve was big, she was wrong, for Bucky was bigger still. Thick, corded muscles flexed as he paused, brow furrowing slightly as he seemed to be working out what Clint was babbling about. A thick but neatly trimmed beard obscured most of his face, while his chocolate brown hair brushed his shoulders and fell over a pair of startingly blue eyes.

He looks like he could pick me up and snap me in half, Lev thought shakily. She’d seen similar builds and musculature on heavyweight cage fighters, brought into the ER with some gruesome injury after their latest match and she couldn’t be sure if her pulse was racing in fear or something else entirely.

Bucky, the name didn’t belong on such a giant and Lev licked her lips nervously, feeling like she was standing in the entrance of a dark forest, able to hear a low growling from inside.

The silence in the shop was suddenly overwhelming to Lev, she could feel her heartbeat making ripples in the surrounding air and she stumbled to speak.

“Hi,” it came out little better than a squeak, broadcasting to everyone in the room that she was scared shitless of the newest arrival.

Piercing blue eyes locked on hers and a shadow passed through them, too fast for Lev to understand. He started moving again, lumbering to a workstation closer to where Lev, Clint and Nat stood. The padded stool groaned under his weight as he sat, setting a series of drawings on a light-up tabletop and he grunted, nodding once at her, before returning his attention to his papers.

“Okay,” if this was unusual, Clint gave no indication. “Let me show you around, kid.”

Lev followed obediently, saw Bucky glance up at her once as she passed, then look quickly back down and she hoped she didn’t stink from her plane ride.

In the back was a supply room, large break room and three private rooms. All three men, Clint explained, had a private room for quote ‘nervous’ customers or ‘intimate’ piercings, in addition to their spaces out in the front and the customer was free to choose where they wanted to be, however most decided to stay out front to be a part of the varied conversations that flowed like cheap beer.

“So, you all do body piercing too?” Lev clarified, eyeing a clearly sterilized and sealed tray in what Clint had said was Bucky’s room.

“Yeah,” he answered, peeking over her shoulder. “Bucky does the most of the three of us, but we all do a fair bit. Why, you thinking about one?” He elbowed her and snickered, then grabbed the side of her head and pressed a loud kiss to her temple. “Shit, I missed you little sis. It’s been too long!”

Lev agreed, for all their differences, there was nobody Lev loved more than her infuriating twin brother and smiled at him, leaning in for a quick hug.

Clint squeezed her bone-creakingly hard for a moment then released her. “You want to go? You’re probably tired.”

Relief washed over Lev, she’d kill for a shower and nap. “Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.”

“So….” Lev began, then wished she’d kept her damn mouth shut. Steve, Nat and Spider had bid her goodbye with friendly calls and waves, while Bucky had continued to glower, like a toad on a stump, Lev thought sourly and it had continued to bother her, even as they left Blackheart in the rear-view.

“So?” Clint asked leadingly, cocking a brow in question as he kept most of his attention on the road. The truck rumbled underneath them, the obligatory air freshener, in the iconic silhouette of a Trucker Girl, swinging from the rear-view mirror.

“Is Bucky always that talkative?” She gritted her teeth, hating herself instantly for asking. Clint could take this as anything from a dig at his friend’s personality to a thinly veiled show of interest and, with her luck, he’d assume the latter.

“Yeah….” Clint drew out the word, as if considering what to say next. “Just be careful around him, little sis.”

Lev jerked her head to stare at him. What was he talking about? Had he opened a business with a convicted murderer or something?

Clint chuckled, reading her horrified gaze correctly. “Nothing like that, kid. Buck’s just…. intense. He parties hard, lives hard. Nicest guy you’ll ever meet if you’re a friend, but I’ve never seen him with the same girl more than once or twice.”

Oh. That was crystal clear. Hands off.

“I didn’t-”

“No judgement,” Clint interrupted. “But we all know he’s a handsome guy and you wouldn’t be the first to get burned if you tried to touch him.”

Sometimes, a completely different side of Clint appeared; a stable, rational man and Lev knew better than to waste that guy’s wisdom by not listening the rare times he did surface.

“Don’t worry, though. He’s alright. He won’t, like, try anything with you. You’re not his type.”

“Oh, really?” The sand in the Sahara was wetter than Lev’s voice.

“Yeah,” Clint nodded, signalling to turn down a residential street, waiting until an old lady hobbled slowly through the crosswalk. Lowering the window, he leaned his head out. “You need a hand, Sylvia?”

Sylvia peered upwards to see the speaker then smiled. “No, dear boy. I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

Clint sat back upright, completing the turn and glanced sideways at Lev’s surprised look. “What? She’s a nice old lady, asks us to fix little things around her house, brings cookies by the shop.”

Lev grinned, warmed by her brother’s sudden display of heart then remembered their earlier conversation. “Not his type, huh?”

“Nah,” Clint took the change of subject easily, turning into the driveway of a modest little Craftsman. The only hint that someone like him lived there was a ‘Tattoo Gods Only Parking’ sign above the garage door. “You’re too buttoned-up, too serious. He dates girls that can twist cherry stems into knots with their tongues and deep throat like a porn-star.”

“Ewww!”

Clint shrugged before gesturing out the windshield. “We’re here!”

[imagekeepr]

Albums and Songs Recorded by The Rolling Stones (up until 2008)

1964 - England's Newest Hit Makers (US) (London/Decca) Not Fade Away * Route 66 * I Just Want to Make Love to You * Honest I Do * Mona (I Need You Baby) * Now I've Got a Witness * Little by Little * I'm a King Bee * Carol * Tell Me * Can I Get a Witness * You Can Make It If You Try * Walking the Dog 1964 - 12 X 5 (London/Decca) Around and Around * Confessin' the Blues * Empty Heart * Time Is On My Side * Good Times, Bad Times * It's All Over Now * 2120 South Michigan Avenue * Under the Boardwalk * Congratulations * Grown Up Wrong * If You Need Me * Susie Q 1965 - The Rolling Stones No. 2 (Decca) Everybody Needs Somebody To Love * Down Home Girl * You Can't Catch Me * Time Is On My Side * What a Shame * Grown Up Wrong * Down the Road Apiece * Under the Boardwalk * I Can't Be Satisfied * Pain In My Heart * Off The Hook * Susie Q 1965 - The Rolling Stones, Now! (London/Decca) Everybody Needs Somebody To Love * Down Home Girl * You Can't Catch Me * Heart of Stone * What a Shame * Mona (I Need You Baby) * Down the Road Apiece * Off the Hook * Pain In My Heart * Oh Baby (We Got a Good Thing Goin') * Little Red Rooster * Surprise, Surprise 1965 - Out of Our Heads (London/Decca) Mercy, Mercy * Hitch Hike * The Last Time * That's How Strong My Love Is * Good Times * I'm Alright (live) * (I Can't Get No) Satsifaction * Cry To Me * The Under Assistant West Coast Promotion Man * Play With Fire * The Spider and the Fly * One More Try 1965 - December Children (And Everybody's) (London/Decca) She Said Yeah * Talkin' About You * You Better Move On * Look What You've Done * The Singer, Not the Song * Route 66 (live) * Get Off of My Cloud * I'm Free * As Tears Go By * Gotta Get Away * Blue Turns To Grey * I'm Moving On (live) 1966 - Aftermath (London/Decca) Mother's Little Helper * Stupid Girl * Lady Jane * Under My Thumb * Doncha Bother Me * Goin' Home * Flight 505 * High and Dry * Out of Time * It's Not Easy * I Am Waiting * Take It or Leave It * Think * What To Do 1966 - Got Live If You Want It (US/live) (London/Decca) Under My Thumb * Get Off of My Cloud * Lady Jane * Not Fade Away * I've Been Loving You Too Long * Fortune Teller * The Last Time * 19th Nervous Breakdown * Time Is On My Side * I'm Alright * Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow * (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction 1967 - Between the Buttons (London/Decca) Yesterday's Papers * My Obsession * Back Street Girl * Connection * She Smiled Sweetly * Cool, Calm & Collected * All Sold Out * Please Go Home * Who's Been Sleepin Here? * Complicated * Miss Amanda Jones * Something Happened To Me Yesterday 1967 - Their Satanic Majesties Request (London/Decca) Sing This All Together * Citadel * In Another Land * 2000 Man * Sing This All Together (See What Happens) * She's a Rainbow * The Lantern * Gomper * 2000 Light Years From Home * On With the Show 1968 - Beggar's Banquet (London/Decca) Sympathy for the Devil * No Expectations * Dear Doctor * Parachute Woman * Jig-Saw Puzzle * Street Fighting Man * Prodigal Son * Stray Cat Blues * Factory Girl * Salt of the Earth 1969 - Let It Bleed (London/Decca) Gimme Shelter * Love In Vain * Country Honk * Live With Me * Let it Bleed * Midnight Rambler * You Got the Silver * Monkey Man * You Can't Always Get What You Want 1970 - Get Yer Ya-Yas Out! The Rolling Stones in Concert (London/Decca) Jumpin' Jack Flash * Carol * Stray Cat Blues * Love In Vain * Midnight Rambler * Sympathy For the Devil * Live With Me * Little Queenie * Honky Tonk Women * Street Fighting Man 1971 - Sticky Fingers (Rolling Stones) Brown Sugar * Sway * Wild Horses * Can't You Hear Me Knocking * You Gotta Move * Bitch * I Got the Blues * Sister Morphine * Dead Flowers * Moonlight Mile 1971 - Gimme Shelter (Decca) Jumpin' Jack Flash * Love In Vain * Honky Tonk Women * Street Fighting Man * Sympathy For the Devil * Gimme Shelter * Under My Thumb * Time Is On My Side * I've Been Loving You Too Long * Fortune Teller * Lady Jane * (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction 1972 - Exile On Main St. (Rolling Stones) Rocks Off * Rip This Joint * Shake Your Hips * Casino Boogie * Tumbling Dice * Sweet Virginia * Tom and Frayed * Sweet Black Angel * Loving Cup * Happy * Turd on the Run * Ventilator Blues * I Just Want To See His Face * Let It Loose * All Down the Line * Stop Breaking Down * Shine a Light * Soul Survivor 1973 - Goat Head Soup (Rolling Stones) Dancing with Mr. D * 100 Years Ago * Coming Down Again * Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo (Heartbreaker) * Angie * Silver Train * Hide Your Love * Winter * Can You Hear the Music * Star Star 1974 - It's Only Rock 'n Roll (Rolling Stones) If You Can't Rock Me * Ain't Too Proud To Beg * It's Only Rock 'n Roll (But I Like It) * 'Till the Next Goodbye * Time Waits For No One * Luxury * Dance Little Sister * If You Really Want To Be My Friend * Short and Curlies * Fingerprint File 1976 - Black and Blue (Rolling Stones) Hot Stuff * Hand of Fate * Cherry Oh Baby * Memory Motel * Hey Negrita * Melody * Fool to Cry * Crazy Mama 1977 - Love You Live (Rolling Stones) Fanfare for the Common Man * Honky Tonk Women * If You Can't Rock Me/Get Off of My Cloud * Happy * Hot Stuff * Star Star * Tumblin' Dice * Fingerprint File * You Gotta Move * You Can't Always Get What You Want * Mannish Boy * Crackin' Up * Little Red Rooster * Around and Around * It's Only Rock 'n Roll (But I Like It) * Brown Sugar * Jumpin' Jack Flash * Sympathy For the Devil 1978 - Some Girls (Rolling Stones) Miss You * When the Whip Comes Down * Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me) * Some Girls * Lies * Far Away Eyes * Respectable * Before They Make Me Run * Beast of Burden * Shattered 1980 - Emotional Rescue (Rolling Stones) Dance (Part 1) * Summer Romance * Send It To Me * Let Me Go * Indian Girl * Where the Boys Go * Down in the Hole * Emotional Rescue * She's So Cold * All About You 1981 - Tattoo You (Rolling Stones) Start Me Up * Hang Fire * Slave * Little T&A * Black Limousine * Neighbours * Worried About You * Tops * Heaven * No Use In Crying * Waiting On a Friend 1982 - Still Life (American Concert 1981) (Rolling Stones) Take the A Train * Under My Thumb * Let's Spend the Night Together * Shattered * Twenty Flight Rock * Going to a Go-Go * Let Me Go * Time Is On My Side * Just My Imagination (Running Away with Me) * Start Me Up * (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction * Star Spangled Banner 1983 - Undercover (Rolling Stones) Undercover of the Night * She Was Hot * Tie You Up (The Pain of Love) * Wanna Hold You * Feel On Baby * Too Much Blood * Pretty Beat Up * Too Tough * All the Way Down * It Must Be Hell 1986 - Dirty Work (Rolling Stones) One Hit (To the Body) * Fight * Harlem Shuffle * Hold Back * Too Rude * Winning Ugly * Back To Zero * Dirty Work * Had It With You * Sleep Tonight 1989 - Steel Wheels (Rolling Stones) Sad Sad Sad * Mixed Emotions * Terrifying * Hold On To Your Hat * Hearts For Sale * Blinded by Love * Rock and a Hard Place * Can't Be Seen * Almost Hear You Sigh * Continental Drift * Break the Spell * Slipping Away 1991 - Flashpoint (live) (Rolling Stones) Continental Drift * Start Me Up * Sad Sad Sad * Miss You * Rock and a Hard Place * Ruby Tuesday * You Can't Always Get What You Want * Factory Girl * Can't Be Seen * Little Red Rooster * Paint It Black * Sympathy For the Devil * Brown Sugar * Jumpin' Jack Flash * (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction * Highwire * Sex Drive 1994 - Voodoo Lounge (Virgin) Love Is Strong * You Got Me Rocking * Sparks Will Fly * The Worst * New Faces * Moon Is Up * Out of Tears * I Go Wild * Brand New Car * Sweethearts Together * Suck on the Jugular * Blinded By Rainbows * Baby Break It Down * Thru and Thru * Mean Disposition 1995 - Stripped (Virgin) Street Fighting Man * Like a Rolling Stone * Not Fade Away * Shine a Light * The Spider and the Fly * I'm Free * Wild Horse * Let it Bleed * Dead Flowers * Slipping Away * Angie * Love in Vain * Sweet Virginia * Little Baby 1997 - Bridges To Babylon (Virgin) Flip the Switch * Anybody Seen My Baby? * Low Down * Already Over Me * Gunface * You Don't Have to Mean It * Out of Control * Saint of Me * Might As Well Get Juiced * Always Suffering * Too Tight * Thief in the Night * How Can I Stop 1998 - No Security (live) (Virgin) You Got Me Rocking * Gimme Shelter * Flip the Switch * Memory Motel * Corinna * Saint of Me * Waiting On a Friend * Sister Morphine * Live With Me * Respectable * Thief in the Night * The Last Time * Out of Control 2004 - Live Licks (Virgin) Brown Sugar * Street Fighting Man * Paint It, Black * You Can't Always Get What You Want * Start Me Up * It's Only Rock 'n Roll (But I Like it) * Angie * Honky Tonk Women * Happy * Gimme Shelter * (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction * Neighbours * Monkey Man * Rocks Off * Can't You Hear Me Knocking * That's How Strong My Love Is * The Nearness of You * Beast of Burden * When the Whip Comes Down * Rock Me Baby * You Don't Have to Mean It * Worried About You * Everybody Needs Somebody to Love 2005 - A Bigger Bang (Virgin) Rough Justice * Let Me Down Slow * It Won't Take Long * Rain Fall Down * Streets of Love * Back of My Hand * She Saw Me Coming * Biggest Mistake * This Place Is Empty * Oh No, Not You Again * Dangerous Beauty * Laugh, I Nearly Died * Sweet Neo Con * Look What the Cat Dragged In * Driving Too Fast * Infamy 2008 - Shine a Light (Polydor) Jumpin' Jack Flash * Shattered * She Was Hot * All Down the Line * Lovin Cup * As Tears Go By * Some Girls * Just My Imagination * Far Away Eyes * Champagne & Reefer * Tumbling Dice * You Got the Silver * Connection * Sympathy For the Devil * Live with Me * Start Me Up * Brown Sugar * (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction * Paint It Black * Little T&A * I'm Free * Shine a Light

[milesatticusmartin]

Apple Cider Vinegar

by Miles Martin

a gaping wound falls deep into the armchair crying and

its lizardlounging lovely and

its fruitflying into the mouthwash swish swashing piehole and

down it goes with the blue of the pour and the bleak squeak of the mousetrap cracking 

snapshitshut 

on the bone breaking pawse

of furry silence (squeak scatters squeak)

pan pennies personalities tinkle on cast iron irony at the cheap price of ten cents,

and incense knitting smoke rings like a guilt quilt built like belts buckling under the weight of 

tapping time,

happy time,

you time,

you two timing son of a bubblegum hand holding handgun you! your cocking voice is tick tocking a lot and dripping snot splatter everywhere!

you make me want to worship my own feet!

you make me want to appreciate them!

you fill me full of mirthfulmadnessmiserymemories!

you’re barking up the wrong three messiahs each of them scolding me into their manifestly mocky mold characterized by merciless merciless ridicruel merciless ridicruel plagued like a big ball-bearing black rat

away away away i say in a way in a way annoy annay annoy annay annoy annay annoy annay annoy nothing not even a crumb of bread breaking communion style stale slapping my wrist with a twist and a misty visage in a state of christian piss oregon pumping adrenaline as they read me the rite the way the rite the way

the passage foretold for the white lamb meat red lamb meat like a tormenting riddle memory possibility fiddling throughout about the basics the tongue clicks the baked sticks who fire flowing sowing and weaping the teachings of preachings foretold for

the palace gates the united states the barrels and crates the lemonade selling lamentations and the fade feeling sort of sordid in their lasting effect over generations

read the rite the right way 

and read

the passage

please

and freely feel free to eyeball roll behind your skull cracked coconut if you feel so inclined

here, i’ll even answer some of the questions you’ve been mailing me since september 

so did i bid my father farewell again? did i worship a torch tip? did i worship a shipment of scented sin drips? did i pay a sippy cup portioned price for a fishy cracker-sized smile? because i sure do feel deep inside the settling soon and i should be going away anyway. but i’ll continue as all of us always do

reused abused recycled and shortfused confusion is the live i live in lividly

it touts aloof a toof tethered tight to a looth tooth

a tooth is looth i tether tie it to the truth and pull

that shining doorknob and the blood shining elevator door style out of my shining mouth starring shining jack nicholson and shining shelley duvall walking backwards in the snow retracing my steps to stay safe from the kitchen knife maniac in my mind

growth and distraction from the reused abused recyced shortfused confusion settling in my shoes wet from the rain.

 but then there’s middle name lorraine. hello middle name lorraine. 

i’ve just opened my eyes and there you are

hairdryer blasting high my wet rain falling shoes warm

this whole entire time 

but then a buzzing occurs followed by a puff of black smoke from your  hairdryer and you know what that means

the borders of closed captions continuously ketch snug between one way of life and another

still hovering in the imposter’s inner dialogue

their eyelid darkness

their fruit fly mouthwash swishswashing piehole

heavy waking where one dream wanders and atom bomb bam

the memory of father’s records (skip skip skip) spinning out of control in an inner spindle of kindling wood combustion against the garage door breaking into pieces into the fear

the fear of being pawned off

or shipped to washington

from oregon

from california

oh the memory and the same feeling i attach to so many others like it. oh how it’s punctuated by the guilt of a slamming piano. oh how i wish i could rid of the sound in the space that jumps forth from the walls in our skull cracked coconuts froth filled and fantastic. oh so sorry and disgustingly so, eeni meenie mini moh, catch a tiger by its etch-a-sketch self portraiture capacities using magnets

i mean toe.

i do speak of magic magnets, though,

on ocelot occasion

and the magic between everyone in this room

on ocelot occasion

and everyone in this tomb

on ocelot occasion

and everyone in this godforsaken heaven on earth

 that’s what i consider it to be or at least when the coconut’s cracked in half i do consider it to be

on ocelot occasion.

oh but how i love the animals so. oh how i see myself in a toad,

in a monkey,

in a hamster,

in a a canary,

in a fruit fly who sucks on hardened cow dung.

in a screech at the drop of a lung and the phonograph needle plunging on a record  skip skip skips the gaping wound falling deep into the armchair crying and perks its ears to the errs and oars of its past setting the stage for a bacon wrapped crackling record skip memory record skip and scoring the contempt i hold for mine own tongue skip and oh

i am surrounded by dinner guests 

here, vulture these remains, they are my offering to you

the offering of fleshy worth from white brittle bones. from these white brittle bones we are able to say the word was and the word this.

so let us investigate the word was and the word this. 

this we know for sure was a panic attack, this we know for sure was a wiggly worm at the end of a stick, this we know for sure was the confession of an iguana, this we know for sure was the application of mayonnaise skin lotion, this we know for sure was an octopus way of going about things, this we know for sure was style over some stuff, this we know for sure was the dedication to the fact that if spiders had a flag for their species it would probably be of a web, and  this we know for sure was the application of fake solutions to the fake problems we’ve constructed for ourselves altogether, and this

lies! the fruit fly is filled with fruit lies! the fruit fly is filled with nothing but fruit fucking fruit lies! it sucks on an acrimboldo cornhusk ear trapped in a rolled up paper cup cone wineglass filled full of apple. cider. vinegar.

may. it. soak.

through. your. tongue.

may. it. make.

your. nose. run.

and run and run and run and run and run  and run and skip