#Jamie Drysdale angst

[zegrasdrysdale]

Jamie request! this is kinda lengthy but Jamie thinks something is happening between his girlfriend and Z bc a Trevor keeps popping up in her phone but it’s an ex that Jamie has heard about who’s blackmailing her. She doesn’t wanna tell Jamie bc she’s very independent but also doesn’t wanna get anyone else involved. This causes tension between her and Jamie so Jamie texts Z trying to confront him before realizing it’s the ex and his mind goes to cheating but she finally explains the situation to him and maybe a little spice? and fluff at the end

[ guess who ] j. drysdale

pairing : Jamie Drysdale x fem!reader

summary : after seeing someone named ‘Trevor’ pop up on his girlfriend’s phone, Jamie thinks she’s cheating on him with his best friend, but then she comes clean to him and Jamie finds out that not everything is what it seems

warning(s) : nsfw ! implied sex, some sexual content, making out, angsty (very angsty), mentions of cheating and abuse, blackmail, mentions of injury, POV changes, one use of Y/N

author’s note : anon i am so sorry this took so long to finish. hope you enjoy <33

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She and Jamie are both left panting with a layer of sweat covering their bodies as they lay beside one another. They're completely spent and she's not sure if she can feel her legs at the moment. She pushes her hair away from her face before she looks at Jamie.

"You are incredible, pretty girl," Jamie pants with a smile on his face. "God, if you could ride me everyday, I could die a happy man."

"Jamie, I don't think you understand how tiring that is," she laughs as she rolls over and presses soft kisses to his already swollen lips. "The only reason I keep riding you is because you're hurt and I don't want you to exert or hurt yourself again."

He deeply kisses her back, wanting to start another round. She hums and shakes her head. Jamie pulls back with a groan. "Fine," he sighs. "I'll let you go pee and clean yourself up. I want my mouth on you as soon as you get back though."

With a laugh, she rolls out of bed. She pulls on one of Jamie's shirts before slipping into the bathroom to relieve herself so she doesn't end up catching a UTI. She fixes her ponytail knowing that it's going to get ruined again and checks her chest for marks, which are new and bruising already.

After she's done, she makes her way back into the bedroom. "You know," she says as she walks into the room. "You need to let up on the marking before it looks like I got bit by a vampire or something." Her playful tone ends when she sees Jamie scrolling on her phone. "Baby?"

Jamie looks up at her. "Why is Trevor sending you pictures?" he asks.

"What pictures?" she questions in reply.

He turns her phone around so she can see what he's talking about. The pictures in question are pictures of her, pictures of Trevor -- but it isn't Zegras who is sending those pictures. Not that anyone would know who it is in those pictures because they're all faceless.

Her ex-boyfriend, also named Trevor, is mad that she's with someone infinitely better than he is, and now he's trying to manipulate and blackmail her back into a relationship with him. Jamie doesn't know about him, which is why he thinks it's Z sending her naked pictures of them.

"Jamie, baby-" she starts to say before she's interrupted.

"Don't 'Jamie baby' me right now," Jamie snaps. "I can't believe you'd do this to me. To us. Trevor is my best friend. You could've picked literally anyone else but you chose my best friend to cheat on me with."

She immediately begins to shake her head. "Jamie, it's not what you think," she panics as he gets out of bed and gets dressed. "Please. I need to tell you something and-"

"Tell me when you end things with my best friend because I really don't want to hear your excuses right now," he tells her as he dresses. "I'm going to Cam's. Don't talk to me until you're ready to tell me why you cheated on me with Trevor."

Not knowing what else to do, she watches Jamie storm out the door. The front door slams shut and she flinches like the door hit her.

This is what she gets for not telling Jamie about her ex sooner.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[ Jamie's POV ]

He has half a mind to drive up to Bedford to have a word or two with Z. How could her girlfriend sleep with Trevor knowing he's best friends with Jamie? He can't believe that the two most important people in his life betrayed him like this.

It's nearly midnight when Jamie knocks on Yorkie's apartment door. A second or two later, the door swings open. A surprise Cam asks, "What are you doing here? It's midnight, Jimmy."

"I, um," Jamie hesitates, not knowing if he wants to tell anyone what is going on. "I just needed to get out of the apartment. We had a fight, I guess you can say."

Cam moves aside to let Jamie into the apartment. He pushes past and sits on the couch in the living room. Cam joins him a second later.

All he can see is the pictures on his girlfriend's phone. Pictures of her. Pictures of Trevor. He shudders at the memory and resists every urge to throw up on the carpeted floor.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cam asks. "The fight, I mean. It was bad enough that you had to leave."

Jamie pushes his hair out of his face and sits back. "She was in the bathroom," he begins. "Then her phone began buzzing and buzzing so I looked at it to see who was texting her so late at night. I opened her phone to Trevor sending pictures to her of the two of them. In bed together."

"Holy shit," Cam breathes out. "No way. Zegras hooked up with your girl?"

"I don't know when and I don't know if they are still hooking up but yeah, apparently," he says. He rubs his face and groans into his hands. "I can't believe the two of them would hook up behind my back. Like, I get that I'm not the easiest person to be with considering I've needed near constant taking care of over the past year and a half but talk to me instead of hooking up with my best friend."

"That's not your fault, Jamie."

"Apparently it is because why else would she go out and fuck Trevor behind my back?" he questions.

He pulls out his phone and pulls his his messages with Z. "What are you doing?" Cam asks.

"Texting Z because he needs to know that I know."

to: zzzegras - 12:02 am what the fuck dude ? my girlfriend ?

from: zzzegras - 12:03 am ????????

to: zzzegras - 12:06 am i saw the pictures you sent her. i'm not stupid. why her ? don't you have your own girlfriend ? why mine ?

from: zzzegras - 12:08 am i have know idea what you're talking abt jamie. what pictures did i send her ? aside from gifts for you for when you get better

to: zzzegras - 12:09 am what ??

A picture comes through seconds later of a screenshot. It's an exchange between his girlfriend and Trevor from the day before. There are pictures of buildings and tickets in the screenshot with a message from Trevor saying "he'd love that".

The final text in the chain is from (Y/N). It's from fifteen minutes ago and it says: "you were right. i should've told him abt my ex bc he just walked out the door thinking you sent me naked pictures when it was him. god, why can't trev just leave. me. alone ! he's going to ruin everything between me and jamie when i don't want jamie to worry abt this rn".

from: zzzegras - 12:12 am it wasn't me dude. you need to talk to her abt it. there's more going on that you should know, and it concerns her and she should be the one to tell you

Confused, Jamie looks up from his phone. "I don't think it was Z that sent her those pictures," he tells Cam. "I think she's in some trouble though."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[ reader's POV ]

She sits on the mattress with her knees brought up against her chest while she stares at her phone. More texts from Trevor come through while she wants for something from Jamie so she can explain what's going on and that she isn't cheating on him with Z.

That's the last thing she ever wants Jamie to think because she loves Jamie and everything that comes with him. His baggage, his injuries, his laugh, his smile. She won't care when he retires from the NHL. She loves all of Jamie, hockey player or not.

The door opens while she's deep in thought and the sound pulls her out of her head. Jamie stands in the doorway. She pouts and tears begin to prick her eyes at the sight of Jamie in the doorway.

"Tell me who Trevor is," Jamie says. "Why is he sending you naked pictures of the two of you in bed?"

"He's my ex," she admits with a shaky voice. "He was manipulative and abusive. When I found the courage to leave, he told me that I'd never find anyone better than him. I did, and now he's mad about it."

Jamie's face falls at her confession. "I didn't know any of that," he quietly says. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want him to have anything against you because you have a career to lose," she cries. "I didn't have anything to lose. If those pictures of me come out then oh well, they'll probably get posted to some porn sites, but if he was able to get something of you and those leaked then I'd be devastated. I was scared that he'd ruin your entire career, our lives together."

He walks toward her at the same time her phone buzzes. She groans and hides her face. The bed moves as Jamie sits on the mattress. She looks up at him and watches him grab her phone. He scrolls for a second and says, "I could've helped you. Seriously. You didn't have to go through his alone."

She wipes away her own tears. "I did," she tells him. "Well, technically, I had Z because I texted him once asking him why most guys named Trevor were assholes and had to tell him but that was an accident. I didn't think he'd ask questions. I should've told you but I didn't want you involved."

The phone buzzes again. She sighs. Jamie taps a few more times before he holds the device up to his ear. Her eyes widen when she hears her ex's voice on the phone. Jamie winks at her before he says, "I don't know who you are but you have the wrong number. I suggest you stop sending those pictures though. They could do a lot of damage in the wrong hands."

Then he hangs up the phone. He smiles at her. "I don't- you aren't mad?" she asks.

"Oh, I am," Jamie replies. "It'll take a little bit for me to get over that you told Z instead of me but I won't let anyone ruin you or our lives together. No matter how mad I am. Not to mention, I love you."

She frowns and crawls up to Jamie. "I'm sorry," she says as she presses kisses to his shoulder. "I really am sorry. I should've told you but I was scared."

Her lips trail from his shoulder to his neck. Jamie looks over at her. "You can kiss me all you want," he tells her. "I'm still mad at you."

"We'll see how long that lasts."

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MASTERLIST

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[adorethedistance]

First I Love You - Jamie Drysdale x Reader

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, mentions of anxiety, sexual references.

Words: 1677

Summary: First I Love You - After a day that gets increasingly worse, Jamie plans a date night to indirectly celebrate your two-month anniversary.

A/n: Cherry is back with a fic after a month of radio silence in typical aodre the distance fashion lol. Anyway! This has been in my drafts forever and I hate it, I can't proof it due to writer's block, and I'm honestly just done staring at it so here ya go!

You can read part 1 of the series of firsts here. The next and final first on the list is first time which is of course gonna be a lil smutty. I might write some Trevor pieces in the interim just depending how I'm feeling.

Today is just one of those days. My class ran much longer than usual and I had to stay after to ask my professor questions before the midterm that night, then I didn’t have time to make myself lunch so I grabbed the pizza rolls from my freezer to heat up at work, then I burned the pizza rolls beyond consumption and did not have any back up food, then I was starving and stressed and unable to use my time at work to study for the exam. I was crying in a puddle of stress and tears. And Jamie didn’t miss a beat. 

Upon hearing how horrible my morning and afternoon had been, he ordered my usual meal from In-N-Out and brought it to me at work so I wouldn’t starve. Then, he offered to make me dinner after I finished my midterm and I tearfully and appreciatively accepted. These little actions of consideration are what have made me fall deeper and deeper in love with Jamie. 

We reached our two months anniversary today but I didn’t make a big deal about it. I feel weird about potentially being one of those couples that celebrates every tiny little milestone like it’s the biggest thing in the world. Still neither of us have said “I love you” yet. But if Jamie continues caring for and about me like this, I’m not sure much longer I can hold it in. That’s why I decided I would tell him tonight.

After cooking dinner for the two of us, and pouring a congratulatory glass of wine to celebrate the 95 I got on my midterm, we laid down on the couch together. Happy and fed, I rest my head on the expanse of his broad chest. Jamie presses a kiss into my hair, bringing his left arm to drape over my shoulders.

“God, 2 months already?!” Trevor asks Jamie incredulously, making me roll my eyes at the playful jab.

“Don’t sound so surprised, Zegras.”

“You’re just mad cause you can’t pull.” Jamie’s accusation makes me laugh at the offended look on Trevor’s face. 

“Don’t get it twisted, I can pull.”

“You just can’t get them to stay?” I ask innocently, absentmindedly messing with Jamie’s fingers. Jamie laughs heartily. He interlaces his with mine to give my hand a gentle squeeze. “But to answer your original question, yes, it’s been 2 months already.” 

The scruff of my boyfriend’s 5 o’clock shadow brushes the back of my hand as he kisses the flat part of my knuckle. Trevor, observing the entire action, leans over the kitchen trashcan and pretends to throw up. Jamie merely laughs and I roll my eyes once more, “Shut the fuck up! You are so dramatic.”

“And for what?” Jamie chimes in which makes me smile to see he’s been picking up some of my mannerisms and phrases as well. That’s been my favorite part of dating him so far. The way his music taste slowly infiltrates mine. The way he now keeps a trashbag in his car after realizing how useful the one in mine is. The way he’s wearing the soft blue hoodie he lent me, for the reason that it now smells like me, which is why I had stolen it from him in the first place.

“I’m happy for you guys, really,” Trevor grabs his car keys from off the granite kitchen counter, “Thank you for rubbing salt into the open wound.”

“Oh my god-” Jamie starts.

“Get out of here!” I finish for him, urging Trevor to leave. 

“I’m gone!” He obliges. Then, Jamie kisses my head again, prompting me to sit up. 

“Did he say where he was going?”

“Mmm… no, actually. If I had to guess, he’s probably going golfing with the guys.”

“No way, he was dressed way too nice for golf…” I trail off, racking my brain for where he could have possibly been headed. Shrugging off the idea, I straddle Jamie’s hips, and look down at him. I smile. Overcome with the warm sensation of staring at my boyfriend. Jamie nudges me with his hips, indicating he would like me to lay back down. Before I comply, I pull my hair back tying it out of the way so I’m free to kiss Jamie as much as I please. He watches my every move, eyes flooded with adoration.

“At practice this morning, McT said he…” Jamie trails off mid sentence. As he was talking, I finished tying my hair back and then leaned down as he had wanted me to. He’s looking at me with eyes slightly widened and lips parted in surprise. 

“What?” I ask, concerned as to why Jamie stopped talking. He simply says,

“You’re really pretty.” The seemingly arbitrary declaration makes me laugh but does nothing to aid my confusion.

“Okay?”

“You’re just so pretty I think I short-circuited.” The earnest confession makes me smile and giggle, so I press a soft kiss to Jamie’s lips.

“You’re cute. So what did Mason say?”

“Oh yeah, he said that he wants to meet you.”

“Really?” I ask, rubbing my thumb over Jamie’s cheekbone. He kisses my palm before responding,

“Despite how much you and Trevor bully each other, he’s told everyone on the team about how cool you are. He kinda took the liberty to do it himself since I do gush about you, but I get shy about it.” Jamie is uncharacteristically speaking out loud his stream of consciousness, and I take a back seat to admire how talkative he can be when he’s with me. A stark contrast to the shy, almost silent boy I’d had my first date with. Noticing how much he’s talking, Jamie ends his rambling but I smile softly, encouragingly,

“It’s unfortunate that the ‘cool girl’ is seemingly the only archetype that consistently receives approval from men, but it is true nonetheless.”

“Yeah, like, it’s not that I need his approval, but it is nice when your boys like your girlfriend… Well, it’s what you said, you just said it better. I’m mansplaining aren’t I?” He asks, bashfully. I roll my eyes and appreciatively kiss his lips once more.

“Get out of your head, Drysdale. Do you have anxiety?” 

“Shut up. I think you’re the only person I’ve ever met who can always tell when I’m overthinking.”

“Maybe I’m just the only one with the audacity to comment on it,” I playfully propose, smiling when I succeed in making Jamie laugh. 

“I don’t think so.”

“We’ll agree to disagree. It’s unlikely, but not impossible.” Dropping the bit, Jamie and I smile at each other, melting into a comfortable silence. He looks at me with soft eyes, pink blush creeping across his cheeks the longer I continue to stare. I rest my left hand on the side of his face once more. I brush my thumb over his cheekbone again, and rub the top of my fingers repeatedly against the stubble adorning his jaw. Jamie lifts his eye brows before saying,

“What, do I need to shave?”

“No. I just like the way it feels.”

“Oh, hey, you said you’re done with school by mid december, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“My mom asked if you were coming to Christmas this year.”

“Did she really?” Jamie hesitates a moment before his brows furrow in sincere disapproval.

“You’ve been my girlfriend for two months now. She will not shut up about meeting you.”

“What? Why?” He then blushes fiercely and cowers his head into the large hoodie he’s slouched on. Jamie doesn’t meet my gaze as he talks,

“I told her all about you the other day.” I bite back the giant smile that prods at my features before replying,

“What did you tell her?”

“Just stuff about you!”

“What stuff about me?!”

“I told her you’re a student and what you’re studying. I told her where you’re from and what your family is like. And I told her about how I stare at you between red lights when we’re going somewhere.” The last piece of information makes me laugh and I tilt my head in confusion.

“How did that last part come up?” It was a simple question, really. One that I hadn’t even bothered to put a lot of thought into; one that came from my basic stream of consciousness. And certainly not one that I imagined would ellicit such a reaction from Jamie. His eyes widened and softened all at once, his blush glowing brighter across his cheeks, and his lips parting to allow the irregular pace of breathing he had now adopted.

“I guess… I called her because I was unsure of what I was feeling…? I was kinda freaking out about it. As I told her about our first date, she said that just talking about you made me visibly happier. She noticed that, even though I wasn’t aware of how happy I’d gotten. Then she demanded to meet you as soon as possible…” Jamie sheepishly looks up at me after finishing his mini monologue. The traces of endeared happiness immediately vanish and Jamie looks at me horrified. In describing how happy I make this boy, I felt tears welling up on my lashes, relieved to be experiencing something so thoroughly mutual.

“Oh my god, please don’t cry I’m sorry!” I laugh through the tears and playfully smack his chest.

“Jamie…”

“You make me really happy, Y/n. Like, really really happy-”

“I love you,” I blurt out. I’m a bit stunned and honestly scared of how quickly this confession escaped me. But I know it’s true. And isn’t that the scariest part?

“I love you too.”

“Really?” I ask through unrelenting tears.

“Yes,” Jamie rests his hands on the tops of my hip bones, “I kind of lied by saying my mom said I looked happy… She said I looked very in love, but I didn’t want to be too forward and say that if you maybe didn’t feel the same way.”

“Bro, you worry so much, are you sure you don’t have anxiety?”

“Shut the fuck up!”

***

a/n: copy pasting tags is the best thing that has ever happened to fic writers I think.

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box Series— Cruel Weather (Part Two)

requests: “I was wondering if you’d maybe do something about sissy getting seriously hurt (like a landing in the hospital kind of bad?) I honestly just really want to see all the boys protective and worried about her” and “Hi!!! Im absolutely in love with the penalty box series, and i was wondering if we could get a small blurb with sissy getting injured? ik you did a thing depicting how the boys would react, and im intrigued to see how that would play out:)”

requests based off this ask: how the boys would react to sissy getting hurt

warnings: major car accident, crying, surgery, broken bones, coma, mentions of throwing up, panic attacks, mentions of dying, arguing, mentions of getting drunk

word count: 3.6k

General Series Masterlist

part one — part two — part three — part four

—————

Trevor woke up a little after seven the next morning by Jamie shaking him awake and handing him an iced coffee.

“I bet your back feels great,” Jamie laughed at his best friend’s weird sleeping position.

Trevor stretched and they both winced at the amount of pops there were.

“Depending on how long she’s in here, I might get used to it,” Trevor said. “Thanks.”

Jamie nodded in response and yanked the chair from underneath Trevor’s legs to sit in.

“Mama Hughes is forcing everyone to eat breakfast. We got yelled at for the lack of food, by the way,” Jamie said, getting a small chuckle from Trevor.

“Of course we did.”

“So they all went out and I was permitted to bring you coffee and check on you, and they’ll bring us something back,” Jamie told him.

Trevor nodded in response, “Has anyone heard from Quinn?”

Jamie took a hold of Y/N’s hand at the mention of her best friend’s name, “His flight didn’t take off until close to six, so he should get here around nine, nine thirty. How’s she doing?”

“Same as last night,” Trevor sighed. “If a doctor came in, I slept through it.”

“I’m surprised you slept,” Jamie commented.

“I didn’t wanna disappoint her,” Trevor said low. Jamie understood what he meant. If Y/N heard that he was a wreck and didn’t take care of himself at all, she’d lecture him and feel tremendously guilty.

“How was everyone at the house?”

“It was quiet,” Jamie said. “Scarily quiet. I think everyone was worried they wouldn’t hear a phone ring if they spoke too loud. Jack talked to Quinn, but that was about it. Jim and Ellen slept in my room, and the rest of us all slept in the living room and semi watched the Hunger Games.”

“Alex’s idea?”

“Jack’s,” Jamie answered. “I think it was for Luke.”

“He’s been keeping all of us sane,” Trevor said.

“He’s channeling Sissy,” Jamie smiled.

“She’d kill you if she knew you called her that,” Trevor said in a fake warning tone.

“Good; maybe she’ll wake up,” Jamie joked, and luckily, got a real laugh out of Trevor.

“I needed that.”

“We both did.”

Both boys sat in a comfortable, well… as comfortable as they could be given the situation, silence as they watched the steady up and down movement of Y/N’s chest. Sure, she needed a machine’s assistance, but she was breathing.

The silence was only broken by everyone else filing into the room with food for the two boys. Cole and Alex had stolen some chairs they found in the hall for people to sit in, and made sure to grab an extra for when Quinn arrived.

A nurse came in and checked on all of her vital signs and medication outputs before telling the group that everything looks okay.

“Do you know when she’ll wake up?” Cole asked.

“It’s not an exact science, but she should be waking up within the next couple of days,” the nurse answered politely. They thanked her and returned to their silence when she left.

“Okay, somebody say something. I’m going to go insane,” Luke piped up.

“Remember our senior year?” Alex asked, a hint of mischief laced in his voice.

“Oh god,” Cole groaned into his hands.

“We were all a mess,” Trevor laughed.

“Sissy especially!” Jack called out.

“She was the biggest menace out of all of us,” Alex said.

“She’s still a menace,” Jamie pointed out.

“She was worse,” Trevor told him.

“Much worse,” Luke agreed.

“That was an interesting year to say the least,” Ellen said as she smiled at the boys reminiscing.

“Do I even wanna know?” Jamie asked.

“Give him a glimpse, Z,” Jack said.

“You know how at parties she’s a runner and we tend to tie her to one of us?”

“Yeah?”

“That started after I tripped and sprained my ankle while chasing her around a lake. The only reason I caught her and we made it back is because she puked in said lake and decided to get in it to, and I quote, ‘give herself a bath.’”

Jamie started laughing, genuinely laughing, and it was so contagious that the rest of the group did, too.

It was needed. They knew she was going to wake up soon, and they thought they all deserved a little laughter. It died out quickly, and the reminder of why they were all in a room together was too strong.

“We were supposed to facetime tonight,” Cole said suddenly.

“At eight,” Alex added.

“What movie was she gonna make you watch?” Jamie asked.

“She said it was a surprise,” Cole whispered. He was scared that if he talked any louder, his voice would crack. Him and Alex hadn’t seen her with the breathing tube, yet.

“She keeps a list on her phone of movies she wants to watch with you,” Trevor told him. “I have her phone, if you want to know what tonight’s plan was.”

Cole shook his head, “I’ll let her keep her surprise.”

The group swapped stories, which felt a little weird, but it was something to pass the time. Even in a coma, just stories about her brought smiles to everyone’s faces.

“I don’t even know where she ended up after the party before our draft day,” Jack laughed.

“Sissy and Z ended up sleeping on my floor,” a new voice said in the doorway. Quinn.

Trevor stood up immediately and the two boys, arguably the two most important people to Sissy, stared at each other. Quinn nodded, and somehow Trevor knew what he meant. He met him the middle and the two of them hugged each other the tightest they ever had before. If anyone were to understand just how hard this accident was hitting them, it was the other.

Jamie stood up as well and offered the chair closest to Y/N to him. He sat down and took his best friend’s hand in both of us, just as every other person who has sat in the chair before him.

“Do you want a moment alone?” Trevor asked.

“Yeah,” Quinn croaked. He was already a mess, but seeing her made it all come crashing down. He was no longer focusing on getting to Y/N. He was here. And it was so much worse than he imagined.

Everyone quietly shuffled out of the room and into the hall. Quinn gripped onto Y/N’s uninjured hand for dear life and allowed himself to cry. Only it wasn’t just crying that he was doing. He was full on sobbing with his head down on the thin mattress.

“I just saw you. Last week we were doing our yearly group workout before training camp and now you’re comatose because of how your depression medication mixed with the anesthesia. When Trevor called me to tell me-“

Quinn got too choked up to continue, but he needed to get it out. He didn’t even know if she could hear him; he just needed to say it.

“To tell me you slipped into a coma, I thought he was calling to tell me you died. I thought I was going to have to hear over the phone that you had died and I lost the most important person to me forever. I couldn’t sleep. I know you’ll scold me for that, but I couldn’t. I tried. I just kept waking up from nightmares about life without you.

“You’ve been in my life since I was seven years old. You’ve practically been my sister since day one. I’ve protected you from so much, and I couldn’t stop this from happening. You’ve been through so much, and now you have to go through this, and I won’t be here. Trevor and Jamie are great for you, and they’ll take good care of you, but it won’t be me. It physically can’t be and the thought of that makes me sick.”

Quinn jumped at what happened next. He wasn’t completely sure he didn’t imagine it, that’s how surprised he was.

“Sissy?” he whispered.

This time, Quinn was sure it happened. Y/N’s unconscious form lightly squeezed his hand. Quinn tried to not get his hopes up too high. He knows that movement doesn’t always mean the person will wake up soon, due to the fact that he heavily researched comas the second he was told, but it has to mean something.

“Trevor!” Quinn called out, making sure his voice didn’t portray that it was an emergency.

His tone wasn’t much help, because with the situation at hand, Trevor immediately assumed something was wrong. He ran into the room with his eyes wide and heart racing harder than ever.

“What’s wrong?! What happened?! I don’t hear anything and she looks fine. Well not fine-“

“She squeezed my hand!” Quinn cut him off.

Trevor’s eyes widened at the news. Everyone else overheard the announcement from the hall and came flooding in, as well. Jim told everyone he was getting a nurse to check if it meant something, or if it was a subconscious movement. After all, even years long coma patients can slightly move to external stimuli.

After a few quick trials, it was concluded that she wasn’t squeezing hands as a response, because she would do it at random times, and a few minutes later stopped doing it all together.

It was a false hope.

“I’m sorry,” Quinn said. He was absolutely defeated.

“Don’t be sorry, Quinny,” Jack sighed. “She was squeezing your hand. She squeezed Trevor’s, and she squeezed Dr. Walsh’s hand. She’s in there. She’s just not awake yet.”

“When did you get so wise?” Quinn teased him.

“Z and I were talking about that this morning,” Jamie said.

“About me being wise?”

“Jimmy here said you were channeling Sissy,” Trevor smiled. “I told him she’d kill him if she knew he called her Sissy.”

“I am seeing a bit of Sissy in you lately,” Jim pointed out to his son.

Jack smiled to himself. It was the biggest compliment he could ever receive, in his opinion.

“It’s a twin thing,” Jack joked.

“Definitely a twin thing,” Luke played along.

— — —

It was getting harder than it was yesterday to sit in a room and listen to the heart monitor beep. The more they looked at her, the more frail and broken she looked. It was taking a toll on everyone and it was only day two.

Jim and Ellen went to get everyone lunch, and Jack decided that everyone needs to shower so they’ll take turns going back to Trevor, Jamie, and Sissy’s house. Jack thought Trevor would put up the biggest fight, but it was actually Quinn.

“I just got here!” Quinn argued.

“And you’re all worked up,” Jack tried to reason with his big brother. “You need to-“

“I need to be with her,” Quinn cut him off firmly. “You all saw her last night. You all got to race here the second you got the call while I was stuck in my house going out of fucking mind and you have the nerve to tell me that I need to leave her after only a few hours to take my third shower in the last twenty four hours?!”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just thought-“

“Stop trying to be Sissy!” Quinn yelled.

The energy in the room went still. Everyone was frozen in place. Jack’s eyes might have been wide, but they were full of hurt.

“You’re not Sissy. No one will ever come close to her. She’s lying in a hospital bed, you’re perfectly fine and bossing people around! Well guess what, Jack? I’m not fine! Taking a shower isn’t going to take away from the fact that the person I would take a bullet for is suffering and will be for a long time!”

“You think I’m fine?!” Jack fired back. “I haven’t been fine since Jamie called! I had to tell everyone! I had to call Alex, and Cole, and Luke, mom and dad, and you! I had to make sure Trevor didn’t go catatonic for the entire time Sissy is in the hospital! I had to make sure Luke didn’t fall apart at the seams when he passed by her and Trevor’s room! I’ve been taking care of everybody with no one to help me! I didn’t sleep last night because every time I closed my eyes, I saw her dying in my arms and you think I’m perfectly fine?!”

Jack’s knees started to give out, and if it wasn’t for Cole and Alex catching him and easing him into a chair, he would’ve collapsed on the floor.

“I know she’s your best friend, but she was mine first. I was the one there for her when you left. She kept telling you that she was fine. What she didn’t tell you was that she cried herself to sleep in my bed every night for weeks,” Jack said through tears. “She’s been in my life longer than anyone else’s here. So no, Quinn, I’m not fine. But she won’t be fine if she finds out that everyone important to her fell apart over her, so I’m doing what I can for her.”

“Let’s give the brothers a moment alone with her,” Jamie said. “We can all go to the house to… do things.”

Everyone remained silent as they left, leaving only the three Hughes boys alone. Quinn sighed and took a seat next to Jack.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Me, too,” Jack whispered.

“Did she really cry in your room for weeks?” Luke asked as he got up to sit in the third chair next to Jack. All Jack did was nod.

“She didn’t tell me,” Quinn said glumly. He felt like the worst brother in the world.

“She didn’t want to make you feel guilty,” Jack shrugged. “I’m just glad she moved with us when I went. I don’t even want to think about what could’ve happened to her.”

“She would’ve popped back up into our lives eventually,” Luke said.

“Yeah, but in what state?” Quinn asked.

“Hopefully better than this one,” Luke answered.

— — —

Tensions had died down once everyone came back and the brothers were handed food and politely demanded to eat by Ellen. Lunch was really dinner, because it was just after five.

Y/N remained the same. The nurses checked vitals, administered pain medication, and whatever else they did while they kicked everyone out the room to give them space to work. Everything they did, she still stayed unconscious, and left the group with the constant reassurance that the delayed emergence therapy was working and she should be waking up “within the next few days.”

After Jack and Quinn’s argument, Quinn made sure to make sure Jack wasn’t falling apart while trying to help everybody. He was prepared to fly to Jersey to be with him, so he felt that he should keep his word and be there for him now. If Jack noticed, he drew no attention to it.

The nursing staff kicked everyone out at eight when normal visitor hours ended as opposed to their late night stay the night before. No one wanted to go, but she was stable, so no one fought too hard. Everyone left to the parking lot, leaving only Trevor and Quinn in the room.

“You can stay-“ they both started speaking at the same time.

“She’s your best-“

“She’s your girlfriend,” Quinn cut Trevor off. “You’re her world. Trust me on that. Just call me first if anything happens, alright?”

“Alright,” Trevor smiled.

There wasn’t much for Trevor to do besides worry until he passed out at some ungodly hour, so he put on The Hunger Games to feel like Y/N was watching it with him. The doctors said that the closer she got to waking up, the more she could potentially be aware of external stimuli, and Trevor was too optimistic to not believe it. So, he put on her favorite movie series and hoped for the best.

Everything was fine the entire duration of the first movie. There was nothing but the sounds of the movie and Y/N’s steady heartbeat monitored on the machine.

Everything was fine.

Until it wasn’t.

Well passed one in the morning, the once steady beep was blaring at what felt like a mile a minute. Nurses and doctors came flooding in and immediately began shouting words that Trevor didn’t understand. What he did understand was that he was being ordered out, but that didn’t mean he was going to listen. Instead, he remained in the doorway, helplessly watching while the hospital staff tried to get Y/N back to her original state.

The excessive beeping stopped, and Trevor desperately wanted it to return because the sound that took its place made Trevor sick.

Y/N flatlined.

“No!” Trevor wailed and dropped to his knees.

A nurse immediately went towards him and started to push him out of the room in an attempt to calm him down as the doctor in the room pulled out the defibrillators.

“Sir, you’re having a panic attack,” the nurse told him calmly. “I need you to breathe.”

“My girlfriend just died!”

The nurse was right. Trevor was hyperventilating so much that he could no longer deny what was happening to him. His head felt heavy, his ears were ringing, and his chest felt like it was burning.

“I have to call Quinn!” he shouted out. He probably interrupted the nurse, but he was so out of it, he couldn’t tell. “I have to call Quinn, I have to! You have to let me call Quinn!”

“Okay, Trevor, is it?” She continued when he nodded. “We’ll call Quinn, but we need to focus on you right now before you get hurt.”

Trevor continued to fight with her and caused quite the scene in the hallway. The next thing he knew, he was being held down and given a shot. Then it went black.

— — —

Quinn threw up when he hung up the phone.

Sissy flatlined. She died. They barely got her stable in time. His world almost ended.

Alex was the one that found him and got him calmed down enough to talk to him, the only thing was that he didn’t. Quinn could already be a quiet guy, but he had gone silent. Alex couldn’t even get his attention.

“Quinn!” Alex shouted. He grabbed his face in hands and looked directly into his eyes. “Now is not the time to shut down! What happened?! What happened, Quinn?!”

All the commotion brought the attention of the others, but Jack and Luke were the only ones that stepped into the bathroom.

“Q?” Jack asked calmly. “Quinn, what’s wrong? What happened? Is Sissy okay?”

Quinn shook his head.

“Quinn, how much worse can she get from being in a coma?”

Nothing. Jack put his hands on his brother’s shoulders, “HOW MUCH WORSE CAN SHE GET FROM BEING IN A COMA?!”

Ellen pushed everyone out of the way, including her middle child, and stood close to Quinn.

“Give him room!” Ellen shouted, shooing Alex and Jack out of the small bathroom. “Let’s give him some time to breathe before we hound him!”

It took twenty three minutes for Quinn to get to a state of mind where he could actually speak coherent sentences he was in so much shock. Everyone had gone downstairs, Quinn included, and waited. Jack got him water and sat next to him while Ellen comforted him on his other side.

“Quinny, just answer me this— is Sissy okay?” Luke asked. “Just move your head. You don’t have to speak.”

Luke was shaking. Quinn took notice and his big brother mode kicked in.

“She’s stable,” he said.

Everyone let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding. The fear of the worst had captivated every single one of them. What else would send Quinn into silence?

“Then… what- what uh… what happened?” Jamie asked awkwardly, terrified for his answer.

“She died,” Quinn said in monotone. He was still in shock.

“No! No, no, no! Quinn, you just said she’s stable!” Jack shouted at him.

“She is. They barely got to her in time,” Quinn said, a little more lively this time. “She died. But she’s stable now.”

Quinn caught his little brother’s eyes— they were clouded by fear. No, fear wasn’t the right word for it. He looked terrified.

Quinn was so focused on Jack that he failed to notice Jamie. In fact, everyone was so focused on Quinn that they failed to notice Jamie. Jamie, who felt like the weight of the sun just landed on his chest. Jamie, who didn’t hear anything past “she died.” Jamie, who was against the wall with his knees pressed to his chest and couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He hadn’t known Y/N for as long as the others, not even close, but he loves her. He loves her just as much as anybody else. She’s one of his best friends, and he doesn’t want to live in a world without her. He lives with her! In the very house they’re in right now. Where he just got the news. And suddenly, he’d rather be anywhere else. Jamie made a break for the door, but Jack caught him and turned him to face him.

“Jimmy! Hey, look at me,” Jack said urgently. His hands were on Jamie’s shoulders to keep him in place. “She’s alive. Sissy is alive. Y/N is alive.”

Jamie leaned backwards and slammed his head against the wall. He closed his eyes and wiped his hands down his face.

“Thank fuck,” he said through tears.

Jack put a comforting hand on his shoulder and pulled him in for a hug, “Yeah. Thank fuck.”

[bordysbae]

23. "why are you even here?" and 18. “i miss you" with jamie (lovers to exes to lovers again maybe)

“number one fan forever”

jamie drysdale x f!reader

ok so we’re gonna pretend that jamie had a normal non covid effected nhl debut cause it was during the 20-21 season 😭

🦋 BORDYSBAE’S 500 CELLY!

— ୨୧ —

two and half weeks ago, your boyfriend of nearly two years walked out the door. not only did he leave the apartment with his bags in hand, but he also got on a plane to california. leaving you and your guys’ relationship behind. the breakup wasn’t messy, but there was some fighting. you thought it was best to breakup due to the upcoming distance, and jamie agreed, but neither of you actually wanted to. although it was your idea to end things, it absolutely broke you.

as jamie left your apartment that night, with all of his things in hand, little did you know that would be the last time you’d see him. so now, nearly three weeks after breaking up with him, you’re on a plane to watch his nhl debut. you claimed your spot as his number one fan years ago, and you’re living up to that title.

you enter the building next to his parents, who even after everything, still love you like a daughter. you’re all dressed in different “drysdale” jerseys, yours being his from when he played for the otters. suddenly the crowd roars as the boy begins his lap, and you have a large grin on your face. you promised jamie you’d be at his nhl debut, and here you are. as he looks through the crowd for his family, his eyes widen when he see’s you. you can barely see his face but you know he’s looking at you.

“holy fuck,” he mumbles under his breath as he skates off the ice.

the game finishes awhile later, and you begin to grab your things to head back to your car when his mom, tina, stops you. “y/n honey, you’re not gonna stay after and talk to him?”

“no, it’s not my place anymore tina. i ended things with him, i doubt he wants to talk to me,” you somberly smile.

“yes he does, y/n. please stay, for me?” she pleads. “fine, but only because even after everything you’re still a second mother to me,” you chuckle a little, and she gives you a tight squeeze of a hug. as jamie comes out after post game interviews he hugs everyone, and lastly makes his way to you. you’re slightly cowered behind everyone, playing with your rings as a nervous habit.

“y/n? i didn’t expect you to come,” jamie says, catching your attention. you look up from your hands, and give jamie a little smile.

“yeah well, i made it. congrats, james,” you smile awkwardly, still using the nickname you’d given him in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“thank you, y/n/n,” he says using your nickname, but he pauses. he sighs, “why are you even here?” he chuckles forcefully. you can tell he’s still sore from the breakup.

“because i miss you.”

his brows shoot up, and so do his eyes, “w-what?”

“i miss you, jamie drysdale. i’m here because i miss you. i claimed my spot as your biggest fan, and i’m living up to that by being here. i regret ending things, so please please tell me you feel the same. if not i’ll-“ you being to ramble, but he cuts you off.

“of course i miss you, y/n. you’re my number one fan forever,” he smiles before wrapping you in his arms and kissing you. your cheeks heat up as you kiss him back, not even caring that there’s people around. you got your boy back, and he got his number one fan.

[lukeywritesstuff]

SOPH’S ACCOUNT NAVIGATION

MASTERLIST

who i write about

luke hughes

jack hughes

quinn hughes

jamie drysdale

(maybe more if i get fixated on more ppl)

i will write smut (no incest, rape, or any other nasty gross kinks)

angst

fluff

parent fics

insta fics

alternate universes (my favs cuz i get to make shit up)

send in requests if you’d like <3

[goldfades]

38. "stay with me, please? i need you tonight. maybe for the rest of my life, if you're generous."

with jamie!

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 | jd⁹

♡ ─ word count | 1.6k

♡ ─ warnings | hurt/comfort, ANGST!! jamie being an asshole (but it was lowkey justified), mention of his injury/trade :((, thats all!

♡ ─ ev's notes | okay listen i forgot the prompt but the last few paragraphs basically describe what the prompt conveys if that makes sense, i still hope u enjoy it nonnie 😭🩷

Jamie had a pretty hard season, with him moving to Philadelphia unexpectedly and him being injured had really gotten to him. He's spent the last two weeks at home recovering and trying to get better as soon as he could, he wanted to be back on the ice as soon as possible. His injury added another layer of frustration. The pain, both physical and emotional, weighed heavily on him. Hockey had always been his sanctuary, and the forced break on top of the trade felt like the whole universe was against him.

You entered the condo, sighing with exhaustion. The last couple months had been frustrating for you as well, but it didn't even come close to how Jamie was feeling. As you entered the small condo, you heard the shower running and assumed it was Jamie.

You put down everything and began starting on dinner, Jamie probably hadn't eaten anything except breakfast. You were worried for him, more than you could ever express. You'd always had faith in him even in the lowest of the lows but he had never been this low in his entire career. He'd always been a determined person but right now, it really did feel like the odds were stacked up against him.

You wanted to do everything in your power to make him happy again, even if it was for a fleeting moment before the world closing on him again. The smell of a home-cooked meal began to fill the air as you moved around the kitchen, chopping vegetables and preparing a comforting dish.

As you worked, your thoughts lingered on Jamie's struggles - the trade, the injury, and the emotional toll it all took on him. You understood the importance of hockey in his life, how it served as a source of purpose. Tonight, you wanted to provide not just a meal but a reminder that he wasn't alone in this struggle, no matter what happens.

As your timer beeped, indicating that dinner was ready, you set the table, adorned with comforting dishes. The shower turned off, and soon Jamie emerged, his weariness evident in his movements. You gave him a warm smile, opening up your arms for a hug.

"I made your favorite,"

He slumped down to your height and embraced you tightly, sighing. You let him hug you before he slipped away from the embrace, and you could feel the tension in his shoulders as he did. The weariness in his pretty eyes spoke volumes, but so did the gratitude for the effort you put into making the evening a little brighter.

"Thank you," Jamie murmured, his voice a mixture of fatigue and appreciation. He walked over to the table and sat down as you brought waters from the fridge before sitting with him.

"How was your day?" You asked gently as you settled into the seat, glancing up to watch him.

"It was fine." He responded shortly as he began eating the food, avoiding your gaze. You knew he didn't want to come off bitter but it stung, you tried your best to not to take it personal. "You?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," you replied with a light chuckle, trying to maintain a casual tone. "Work had its moments, but nothing too exciting. I did manage to catch up with Maya over the phone today, she said she missed us back in California."

You knew you had messed up as you heard Jamie's fork hit the plate, the sound echoing throughout the apartment. Shit, I shouldn't have mentioned California. You looked up and caught his tired gaze as he sighed.

"I'm sorry," you offered softly, regret lacing your words. "I didn't mean to bring up anything that might upset you. It's just habit to share little updates about people we know, you know?"

Jamie took a deep breath, and you could see the effort it took for him to compose himself. "It's okay," he finally replied, though the strain in his voice betrayed the words. "I just... miss the way things used to be."

His vulnerability hung in the air, and you felt a pang of empathy. The unexpected move to Philadelphia had disrupted not only his career but also the familiar life you both had in California. You reached across the table, gently placing your hand over his. "I miss it too, Jamie. But we'll make new memories here. It just takes time."

He sighed and pulled his hand away from yours, your chest squeezing in hurt. He took the fork and continued to eat, choosing to stay silent. You didn't know why he was being so distant, so cold. You hated it but you couldn't resent him for it, you knew it wasn't his fault. That still didn't mean it didn't hurt, though.

The room seemed to shrink with the silence, the only sound was the clinking of cutlery against the plate. The unspoken tension between you and Jamie hung heavy in the air and despite your attempt to offer comfort, he withdrew further into his thoughts. As he continued to eat in silence, you couldn't shake the ache in your chest. The distance, both physical and emotional, left you feeling like a spectator in Jamie's struggle, unable to bridge the gap that seemed to widen with each passing moment.

You had never had this problem with Jamie before, he communicated everything he felt so that it was easier for the both of you so this was new territory. What had changed? Why was he retreating into this new, silent version of himself? The questions lingered, unanswered, amplifying the sense of helplessness.

With a heavy sigh, you set your fork down, the clatter against the plate echoing the unease in the room. "Jamie," you began tentatively, your voice soft but carrying the weight of your concern. "I hate seeing you like this, I just want to help."

Jamie had finally slammed the fork down, looking up at you with agitated playing on his face. "You can't fucking help me, Y/N. Do you get that, is that simple enough for you? I can't breathe around you without you looking at me and trying to analyze it and help me. You look at me like I'm some kind of burden you need to carry, and I'm sick of it."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut, the raw emotion behind them stinging more than any physical blow. It was a side of Jamie you hadn't encountered before, and the harshness in his tone took you aback. There was silence as you both stared at each other and you saw the regret slowly seep into Jamie's expression.

You took a moment to collect yourself, swallowing the lump in your throat before finally speaking. "I never meant to make you feel like a burden. I just care about you, and seeing you struggle hurts. I thought we could face it together, like we always have."

He lowered his gaze, a visible conflict playing out in his eyes. The regret painted across his face was palpable, and for a moment, it seemed like he was grappling with the weight of his words. "I know I messed up," Jamie finally admitted, his voice softer now, remorse evident. "It's just... everything feels like too much right now, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry, baby."

The pet name rolled off his tongue like honey as he spoke and you could see the old Jamie come back slowly as you gazed at him. You nodded, acknowledging the complexity of the emotions that had fueled his outburst.

"Everything will be easier if you just talk to me, Jamie." You paused, choosing your words carefully. "I want to understand, Jamie. I want to be there for you," you continued, your voice gentle but firm. "We can face whatever it is together. Just talk to me. Please."

He sighed, the conflict in his eyes softening. "I know, Y/N. I just... I'm not used to all of this. The move, the injury, it's like my whole world got turned upside down, and I don't know how to understand it."

You reached across the table, your hand finding his. "We'll figure it out together. You don't have to carry it all on your own. I hate seeing you hurt like this, baby."

He squeezed your hand, the warmth of the gesture was filled with gratitude. "I don't want to push you away, Y/N. I just... I've always been the one who had it all figured out, you know? But this, it's different. It's overwhelming."

"You don't have to have it all figured out, Jamie. We'll navigate through this together. It's okay not to be okay, you don't have to play the part because at the end of the day, you're just human."

He nodded, a mixture of emotions flickering in his eyes. "I'm just scared of losing everything, of losing myself in all of this mess."

The weight of his fears hung in the air, and you leaned in, your thumb gently caressing his hand. "You won't lose yourself, Jamie. I'm here to help you find your way back. We'll take it one step at a time."

For a moment, he hesitated, the weight of vulnerability hanging in the air. Then, slowly, he began to open up. The words spilled out, frustration, fear, and the overwhelming pressure he felt. As he spoke, you listened, offering support.

After the conversation, you laid next to him in the bed, his head laying on your chest. The silence was comfortable as you both began to seep into sleep, enveloped in one another. Your fingers gently traced soothing patterns on his back as you held him close, your presence a reassurance that he wasn't alone ever.

The soft rhythm of his breathing matched the steady beat of your heart, as Jamie shifted slightly, his fingers finding yours in the darkness.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[theywantedplayer]

Masterslist

NEW MASTERLIST

Smut

All Categories 

who i write for 

Jamie Draysale 

“shit I didn't mean to say that”

Loved so dearly

“Its midnight where the hell were you

obsessed

Doing nothing with you

“my friends are really annoyed about how much I talk about you” “you’re staring”

Sparks fly-Taylor Swift

Thin walls NSFW

Good morning NSFW

Happy Birthday NSFW

"please kiss me" "stay quiet" NSFW

“ it’s okay just breathe” “look at me, please?” 

“I’m not leaving”

Trevor zegras

jealousy

“... " " "Wanna make out?" "Sure" “ the second I saw you I couldn't get over how beautiful you were”

“You're kinda cute in this” “only kinda.”"Did you see that?" "You saw that right?"

“someone’s happy to see me” “you bought me flowers?”

Picking fights 

he didnt say it 

obsessed

“don’t fucking touch what is not yours”  “Shh.. I’m here”

“oh hun, i wish you wouldn’t work yourself so hard” “you look exhausted”

“first one to make noises loses” NSFW

Just one more NSFW

Moth to a flame NSFW

Long Day  NSFW

Auston Matthews

“No, no, please don’t look sad. I can’t handle that.” 

“don’t fucking touch what is not yours” NSFW

I only want you 

obsessed

I think Your enough 

I wouldn’t do that to you” “i’m going to fuck your so hard you’re going to forget that guys name”

“You take me so well.” “Spread your legs wider.” NSFW

You comfort Austin after they get eliminated in the second round

paparazzi NSFW

“I’ve been in love you for years”

Jack Hughes 

This is how you celebrate a win NSFW

“Shh im here”

obsessed

All stars

First time NSFW

Jersey NSFW

Shower sex NSFW

Luke Hughes

“ i love you the way you are, okay? you don’t need to change. ”

High and dry NSFW part 2

Bruises

My boyfriends Brother NSFW

Finally alone NSFW

Drunk

“No, no, please don’t look sad. I can’t handle that.”

Quinn Hughes 

“im just trying to help you” “Please, talk to me’’

soft spot

“Baby can you please shut the fuck up”

“do you think I dropped my walls like this for anybody?”

"i’m going to fuck your so hard you’re going to forget that guys name”NSFW

you’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”“ you’re blushing” “am not” 

Submissive quinn NSFW

Flight NSFW

Brock Boeser

andrei kuzmenko

Nico hischier

Captain NSFW

“I wish you wouldn’t work yourself so hard”

Golden gold

“come and sit on my face and i’ll show you how much i missed you” NSFW

obsessed

Fair amount 

The purse 

Dirty talk NSFW

Little things

HandCuff’s+Blindfold NSFW

Arber Xhekaj 

I wanted to see you

Kirby dach

Freezing 

Cole caulfield

Feeling lost

“Why isn't he getting up?”

“I’ll never be good enough”“I wish you could see yourself how I see you”

Talking to yourself

“No panties?” NSFW

In every room NSFW

Sidney Crosby 

“Will you dance with me? Please, pretty please!” 

“I missed you so much” & “ you bought me flowers?”

“i love you the way you are, okay? you don’t need to change. 

obsessed

“Don't listen to them” “Because I know you” 

“Hey…..be safe”  “ you’re not even listening” 

Juraj Slafkovsky 

“I just wanted to be held for a while”

"everything about you amazes me"

“don’t yell at me in a language i don’t understand!” “please don’t cry, i’m sorry” 

Mitch marner  

“you’re crying” and “i missed you so much” 

“you were crying.” “you’re warm.”

obsessed

Second Chance 

“I get so hard when i’m around you“ 

Needy Mitch  NSFW

Carter Hart

Mat Barzal

“You smiled! I saw it, so no denying it.” and “You’re definitely the only person I would do this for.”

andrei svechnikov

Fastest Skater goes to?

“i’m going to fuck your so hard you’re going to forget that guys name” NSFW

leon draisaitl

“first one to make noises loses”

“come and sit on my face and i’ll show you how much i missed you” NSFW

"so, how much longer do you plan on using me as your personal space heater?"“Please kiss me.”

Jeremy Swayma

“no panties?”“Do you want my fingers?" NSFW

Morning kisses 

[luvrhischier]

losing game // trevor zegras

part 2

pairing: trevor zegras × reader

word count: 3.1k (might have gone a little overboard)

a/n: based on the song arcade by duncan laurence. lyrics are in bold italics (jumped around a lot and changed some lyrics to fit the story). no use of y/n.

a/n two: this is my offering to hockey tumblr pls let me in (f1 offering coming soon maybe idk).

warnings: mentions of sex but no actual smut (bc i suck at writing it), alcohol, angst with no happy ending

You watched as he collected his clothes and put them back on. Turning to you when he reached your bedroom door.

“Bye, babe. See you later.” He winked and left.

Silence ringing inside my head.

You sat up, one hand clutching a blanket to cover your bare body, the other running through your now messy hair trying to tame it. It didn't help. After ten minutes of complete silence and staring off into space you finally dropped the blanket and stood up. You walked over and stared at yourself through your full length mirror, examining your body and all of its features in the lightly lit room. You began to wonder why he didn't feel the same. Of course he wasn't obligated to, but still it made you feel like there was something wrong with you.

A broken heart is all that's left. I lost a couple of pieces.

You both had agreed to this. Friends with benefits in private, best friends in public. Nothing more, nothing less. However, now you felt a small piece of your heart get chipped away every time you hooked up.

Jamie had warned you both that this wasn't a good idea and that it would probably end in disaster, after he accidentally walked in on the two of you, but neither you listened. Both swearing that the two of you would never be anything more than friends, who occasionally hooked up. Now you wished you had listened.

The way Trevor now made you feel was unlike anything you had ever felt. Before he grew to understand your body, even better than you did, and what made it fall apart in those moments of tangled limbs, lips moving in sync, heavy breathing, and extreme pleasure, the two of you were just each other’s best friend. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly. You never wanted anything more until a few months in and you hated yourself for it. You couldn’t help it though Trevor's fun and loving nature carried over into those moments of close intimacy. It made your stomach to erupt with butterflies.

You finally silenced your thoughts and rummaged through your dresser for new clothes. You then picked up the clothes you formerly wore, the pieces scattered across your bedroom floor, tossing them into your laundry basket. You sighed deeply and returned to lay in your bed. You quickly stood up again as small tears began to build in your eyes. You didn't want to lay in the bed you just sex on. In fact, you didn't even want to be in your room. His scent was everywhere. His cologne was all over your bed and the smell began to spread around you like wildfire. You knew it wasn't going away anytime soon, it never did.

You collected yourself and headed to your bedroom door when you saw a crumpled up shirt hiding in a corner of your room. You picked it up and instantly realized it was Trevor's. It was the shirt he was wearing underneath his hoodie and he must have forgotten about it. You tried to stop yourself from taking off your old tattered tee and putting his shirt on instead but you failed. You stood there in shameful silence before finally heading to your living room.

You noticed a glass slightly filled with water sat next to the sink, Trevor must have stopped to get himself a drink before he left. You just wanted to take a nap so you left it there as you went to lay on your couch.

You opened Netflix, just playing a random show you knew you weren't really going to watch, you just wanted to end the silence that flowed through your apartment and sleep.

────

You opened your eyes slowly, trying not to be blinded the bright light coming from the t.v. You didn't want to sit up, you just wanted to lay there until you sank into the cushions. You finally checked the time, 8:56 pm, you had slept there for over six hours. You felt your heart stop when your phone began to ring and the screen showed Trevor's name and a picture of the two of you from years ago. You didn't want to pick up but your fingers didn't listen to your heart or your brain.

“Hey babe.” God you hated that nickname so much, it made your heart both shatter and melt.

“Hey Trev,” you groggily mumbled as you stood up heading back to your room. You looked over at your bed and flashbacks from earlier played in your head. Trevor laying on top of you, his lips on your neck, and his hands roaming your body. You shook your head trying to wipe away the memory.

“So, Jamie and I spontaneously decided to throw an end of season party since everyone's here and I wanted to call to see if you'd come,” he sounded happy, excited, and a little hopeful.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun,” you tried to sound as happy as him but you failed and you knew Trevor noticed, he always did. You used to love that he knew you so well, but now it just hurt because he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, notice your true feelings for him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing I'm totally fine. I just woke up from a nap and I um...” You paused, trying to think of an excuse. “I just need to take a shower and get ready. Bye, see you soon,” you heard him start to say something else but it was too late, you had ended the call. As soon as you hung up Trevor called again. You let out a frustrated groan before hitting decline. You quickly put your phone on do not disturb before he could try to call again and tossed it on your bed, you then went to your closet. You just stood there and looked at your clothes, too lazy to actually look for an outfit. You sighed and decided to take a shower before picking out an outfit.

You stepped in the shower and just stood there for awhile, letting the water run down your body hoping that it would wash away any remaining trace of him.

The hot water felt nice against your cold body but it only reminded you of the warmth you felt when you were with Trevor and you hated it.

Once you were finished you returned to your closet to finally pick an outfit. You didn't feel like getting too dressed up so you opted for something simple, a pair of leggings and a random top. Your breath hitched when you saw what top you had randomly grabbed. It was one of Trevor's team USA jerseys. You didn't even know you had this, he had been looking for it for ages.

Once again you tried to stop yourself from putting it on but you once again failed. You stood there in another shameful silence. You looked at your phone to check the time, 10:05 pm. You sighed before grabbing a random pair of shoes and your keys.

The drive to Trevor and Jamie's house was a quiet one, no music, just the sound of your car tires on the road, passing cars, and your quiet breathing. When you got closer to his house you could see a long line of cars parked along the street and what seemed like never ending groups of people walking through the door. A tiny voice inside your head begged you to turn around immediately and drive back home but it was too late. You had driven all the way here.

You were hit with the smell of booze as soon as you got out of the car. A small part of you wanted to throw up but the rest of you wanted to drink until you blacked out and forgot about him.

The music was loud and people were everywhere making it hard to walk through the crowd full of drunk kids with sweaty bodies. However, the kitchen was less crowded. Vodka was the first thing you saw so that's what you filled your cup with.

You heard a loud and dramatic gasp followed by a familiar laugh and turned to see Jack rushing towards you with open arms.

“I missed you so much!” He beamed and hugged you tightly. You could tell he was a bit drunk by how his words were starting to slur together.

“I missed you more, Jack,” you laughed. “Jack, sweetie you’re suffocating me,” you jokingly muttered out.

“Oops, my bad,” he laughed as he pulled away. He noticed the cup in your hand and grabbed it before taking a quick sip. Before you could jokingly get on to him Luke walked in. You knew he must have been his turn to be on ‘watch drunk Jack duty' by the look on his face.

“There you are! I swear I'm going to a harness and leash so you can’t wander off and I don't have to run around while having a heart attack trying to find you,” he said, slightly out of breath from running around the house and through the sea of people, trying to find Jack. Jack just smiled and shrugged his shoulders causing Luke to roll his eyes. He looked over at you and smiled. “What's up, I missed you!” He exclaimed towards you before pulling you into a quick hug.

“I missed you too,” you smiled back. Before he could reply you both turned to where Jack was once standing only to find that he had wondered off again. Luke rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

“I have to go find him again before he does something stupid,” he said begrudgingly. “I'll come back once I find him. I wanna hear about how annoying Zegras has been this season,” he joked while he ran off to find Jack once more.

The mention of his name made your heart feel like it was being ripped out of your chest and squeezed right in front of you. Wanting to distract yourself you looked around and skimmed over the crowd. You didn't want to admit that you were looking for him, but you were. You were about to take a drink of the vodka in your hands when you finally found him. You cursed every single higher being for the sight in front of you. There he was in the corner talking, dancing, and obviously flirting with some blonde girl. Their hands were all over the other’s body and they were close, too close, it made your body go numb. You felt completely defeated.

We were always a losing game.

Now your heart felt like it completely stopped working. You watched as she leaned in to whisper something in his ear with a giggle. The smirk that broke out on his face could've been seen from a mile away. Your cup slipped out of your hand and you felt it splash everywhere. You looked down and let out a shaky sigh. Quickly you grabbed the roll of paper towels and fell to your knees to clean up the mess, but it became harder and harder as your eyes started to blur with tears. You heard mumbling through the ringing in your ears but you didn't look up. You just sat there on the floor furiously cleaning up the spilled alcohol.

You finally looked up when the person shouted your name and placed a hand on your shoulder, snapping you out of your trance. There stood Nico and Quinn. When they saw the tears running down your face both of their eyes filled with worry.

“What's wrong?” Nico questioned as he crouched down next to you.

“I spilled my fucking drink and I have to clean it up.”You continued scrubbing the floor.

“You've cleaned it all up,” he said softly. “You can stop now.” He gently grabbed your hand to stop you.

You looked at the floor and saw that he was right. The alcohol was gone but now it was being replaced with your tears spattering on the floor. You fully sat down on the floor and Nico followed.

“Okay, everyone out of the kitchen now!” Quinn shouted to the few people still standing around you, whispering to each other as they obviously gossiped about your breakdown. You watched as everyone listened and quickly walked away.

Quinn joined the two of you on the ground.

“Why are you crying?” Quinn asked as he scooted over to sit right next to you. You didn't want to say it was because of Trevor. You knew that no matter how much the two of them playfully argued and fought Trevor was like a third younger brother and, though he'd jokingly never admit it, he loved him. He didn't deserve to be burdened with your problems. But deep down he knew and you knew that he knew because of the look on his face.

He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you let out, in your opinion, a pathetically loud sob as you buried your head into his chest. Quinn didn't even care about the tears and makeup that were most definitely staining his shirt, he just cared about being there for you.

“He's over there with some girl.” you stuttered as you began to hyperventilate. “And I know I shouldn't be acting like this because we're supposed to be just friends but it hurts so fucking bad. God, this is so embarrassing. I'm so fucking stupid. I hate myself!” You lifted your head

“I need you to take some deep breaths. You need to breathe.” Nico softly said. “Breathe.” He took a deep breath of his own so you could follow along.

“Alright, who told me everyone to leave the kitchen?” Jamie interrupted as he entered the kitchen. You looked over and saw that Jack and Luke had walked in too. ‘Fuck!’ You cursed in your head. It was hard enough crying in front of Quinn and Nico, now all of your closest friends were standing there watching you sob on the floor. You watched as they all quickly sobered up.

One by one they all sat on the floor with you. All of them extremely worried. You wanted to somewhat keep your composure so you didn’t freak them out, but you couldn’t hold it in anymore you just let it all out. You knew your makeup was probably a mess and your jersey, his jersey, was covered in tears and running mascara.

“He's over there, with some girl, and they're all over each other and I'm over here crying. God I'm such an idiot!” You hiccuped. You wiped your eyes with the sleeves of his jersey. All of them instantly knew who you were talking about. “You were right Jamie. I should have listened to you. It’s okay you can say ‘I told you so’…" 

“I would never do that,” he said gently.

You watched as Quinn stood up, Jack and Luke quickly followed.

“Be right back.” Quinn mumbled, trying to hide the anger in his voice. You saw the three of them clench their jaws and ball their fists. Before you could protest they were gone. Now it was just you, Jamie, and Nico. They both scooted in closer and engulfed you in a hug.

“I guess giving us up didn't take a lot to him, huh?” You forced a chuckle trying to lighten the mood and joke but neither of them laughed or even looked slightly amused. You sighed. “Deep down I saw the end before it even began, but I still carried on.” You lowered your head.

You heard someone softly say your name and you instantly knew who it was. Trevor. He had that the slight roughness in his voice, the roughness he got after a one too many drinks and you hated that it was still sending shivers down your spine.

“Please look at me.”

You don't know how or where you got the courage, maybe it was because your friends were there to support you and protect you, but not only did you look up, you stood up and marched straight up to him. 

“Babe-”

“Don't call me that! I think you have made it clear that I am not really your ‘babe' so stop torturing me by saying that!” You angrily interrupted. You knew that now everyone was staring at the two of you and the scene you were making.

“What's wrong? Talk to me. Why are you crying?” His eyes were soft and you wanted to let this whole thing go and forgive him but you knew you couldn't, your heart couldn't take this anymore. He took a step towards you as his hand came up and tried to caress you face but you pushed his hand away.

“You! You're what's wrong with me! You’re why I’m crying!” You spat. “I stupidly fell in love with you and loving you is a losing game and I got addicted to it. But now l'm done with your games, I have to be because now I need to go and put myself back together. So game over. I'm getting off of this emotional rollercoaster. I am completely drained because I've spent all of the love I had on you!” Tears streamed down your face like a waterfall and you didn't care you needed to say this before you lost the courage and let him back in. “I know I was nothing more than a quick fuck to you but to me you were everything and more. So this,” you gestured between the two of you. “Whatever this is between us is over and so is our friendship. Because if I stay I'II let you back in and I will shatter into a million pieces and I will never be able to put myself back together again.” You walked past him and quickly headed towards the door.

You didn't want to stop but you remembered what you were wearing. You looked down and saw his now tear stained jersey. You turned around and Trevor was right behind you causing you to run face first into his chest, you quickly pushed him away and saw his eyes filled with hurt, panic, and tears.

“Can we please go up to my room and talk about this?” He pleaded. “I can't lose you...”

You softened for a second before regaining your composure. You didn't answer him, you just pulled his jersey over your head and threw it at him, not caring that you were now shirtless in front of all of these random people.

"Goodbye, Trevor.”

[rempesluck]

I wonder how long it’ll take for him to realize he’s following a hockey stan edits account.

[orphicdreamers-wp]

3am Calls — Trevor Zegras

Summary: In which following your hurtful breakup, you find yourself calling Trevor with your unanswered questions.

Summary; Angst without happy ending, cheating(trevor), body insecurities, low self esteem, depression, Jamie Drysdale kind of being a douche, heartbreak, Mid/plus size reader, Dixie Damelio slander(sorry)

Pairing: Trevor Zegras & Reader

You’d met Trevor through his teammate Jamie, you’d gone to high school with him and had tutored him his sophomore year, which was your senior year. You hadn’t seen him since you graduated, until you moved to Anaheim. You had gone to Cornell Veterinary School and moved to Anaheim and opened a vet clinic. You were introduced to Trevor when Jamie brought Trevor’s dog, Louie in because he wasn’t eating and was vomiting blood. You had been administering medication when Trevor hurried in the room, “Jamie what the hell happened?” Jamie turner to his roommate , “Trevor this is Y/N the vet. Y/N this is Trevor, Louie’s his dog.”

You felt the wind leave your throat, “It seems he just had an allergic reaction to something he’s eaten. His breathing was a little shallow so I gave him some medication and I’m gonna prescribe some of it as I’m worried about his breathing.” Trevor’s eyes met you and a small smile on his face, “Thank you so much.” You smiled, “Just doing my job, hi baby.” You smiled lightly as Louie stirred on the table and rubbed his face against your hands. Trevor smiled at the scene in front of him, “I’m suprised, Lou doesn’t usually like new people.” Jamie grinned, “Oh she’s the master of animals loving her. She was my tutor in high school.” Trevor grinned widely as your cheeks flushed, “Maybe I should get your number in case something else happens to Louie.”

You grinned as you pulled out a business card from your scrub pocket, “Feel free to call me with any questions you may have.” You ran a hand through Louie’s fur, “I feel bad running out but I have twenty minutes for my lunch and I have to go all the way back to my place because I was in a rush this morning. It was great seeing you again Jamie, nice meeting you Trevor.” You hurried out of the exam room and had your vet tech go in and help them get the paperwork done.

You and Trevor quickly began dating after that. Your relationship was perfect, Trevor was kind, funny and attentive to you at all times. But you couldn’t help but find yourself wondering if you and Trevor were really meant to be. Trevor was a stereotypical attractive athlete who had women throwing themselves at him. You were a plus sized woman who had no interest in the spotlight. So when rumors of Trevor dating a effortlessly beautiful and thin social media influencer, it was no surprise you let it get the best of you.

Trevor had reassured you that he was not involved with the influencer, you didn’t believe him but that was expected when a photo of them standing next to each other in an amusement park. But that wasn’t even the worst of it, you’d had by far the worst day at work, you had to euthanize 3 dogs and 2 cats. All you wanted to do when you arrived to your shared apartment with Trevor was take a scorching shower and lay in bed. You opened the door to the apartment yawning as you slipped off your shoes and entered the living room. You dropped your tote bag on the coffee table as you made your way to the bathroom to start the shower.

You had started the water and made your way to the bedroom to grab clothes. You felt your throat tighten and your stomach churn as you pushed the door open. A small squeak came from beside the bed. You blinked rapidly as your eyes met a pair of bright brown doe eyes. You felt your voice come out as a whisper, “I can’t believe him.” You slammed your dresser drawer shut as you walked into the bathroom and shut off the water and made your way into the living room. Trevor was leaning against the counter sipping water as his sweatpants hung lowly on his hips, “Hi hon, I didn’t realize you were home yet.”

You bit your tongue, “I’m sure you didn’t. How was your day? Do anything fun?” Trevor felt a sense of panic in his chest, “Nope, just practice and grabbed drinks with the guys. How was work?” You picked up your tote bag and slipped on your shoes, “I’m out of here, I can’t do this anymore. I trusted you and you lied to me. You said there was nothing going on with her. I can’t do this Trev, I won’t.” Trevor felt his heart stop, “Baby, you can’t just give up on this. Please? Jamie said that I would be able to fix this, please.” You shook your head, “I don’t have to. You already did.” You walked out of the apartment and slammed the door behind you.

You found yourself at your clinic, you didn’t have anywhere to go. You hadn’t really connected with any of the girlfriends of Trevor’s teammates. You knew Jamie would side with Trevor because they’d been friends for years especially when Trevor said Jamie had encouraged him. And your hectic work hours didn’t allow you to make friends easily. So you went to the one place that was truly yours, your work. You sat on the floor in your office staring at the wall.

Your phone was blowing up with texts from Trevor. You ignored them until the last one, ‘I’m sorry for this. I asked them not to post it.’ You furrowed an eyebrow as a new notification from Entertainment Weekly on Twitter. You clicked the notification and were met with an article saying that Trevor and Dixie Damelio confirmed their relationship. You felt bile form in your stomach as you locked your phone.

Six months had passed since then and you still found yourself staring intently at yourself whenever you walked past a mirror. You always found something wrong in the reflection, whether the shirt you wore was too tight on your breasts, the pants you wore were too tight on your legs, your thighs were too large, your arms jiggled as you walked, no matter what you found yourself picking yourself apart. Granted you did it occasionally while you were with Trevor and before you two started dating. But it was different after being cheated on.

Before you didn’t pay mind to the harsh comments people made as you walked past them on the street, or from behind you in a restaurant line. But now you found yourself shrinking smaller whenever a negative comment was made. That’s what led you to your current predicament. You were sitting on the floor of your new apartment’s bedroom. A full body length mirror in front of you. Your cheeks were stained with tears as you reached for your cell phone.

You knew you shouldn’t do it, he was happy, he’d moved on. You found yourself checking his girlfriends instagram account and overanalyzing your body compared to hers. You clicked his contact and let it ring. You took in a deep breath as his raspy voice filled your ears, “Y/N what’s up?” You sniffled as you realized that you had probably woken him, it was 3 in the morning. You shook your head, “Nothing, I shouldn’t have called. Forget it.”

Trevor’s voice filled your ears, “I can tell your crying. It’s not nothing if your crying. What’s wrong?” You sniffled, “I guess I was just trying to figure out what I did wrong. I mean why wasn’t I enough Trev?” Trevor felt his heart split wide open, “Baby you were enough. It was me who wasn’t.” You shook your head, “Don’t give me that bullshit Trev, what can I fix for the next person? I mean is it my body, I can change that. I just don’t want to ever feel like this again.” If Trevor thought his heart couldn’t break any further, your words made a fool of him.

“No, you were perfect. I was too immature for someone like you. Your the most perfect person I know, I wasn’t ready for someone to expect that of me. Especially you. I should have communicated with you but I was drunk and Jamie was encouraging me to flirt with Dixie, I was lonely, we’d been fighting and I shouldn’t have done it. It’s not you.” You shook your head as you sniffled, “I really loved you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I just I have to move on from that.” With that you hung up the phone.

[zegrasdrysdale]

also if your not uber uber busy could YOU PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE write a fic based off of one of these songs (feel free to do all of them my queen but NO PRESSURE) I also don't mind who the fic is with use who ever you feel would go best with it :)

Before you Go - Lewis Capaldi

It's Not Over - Daughtry

Goodbyes - post Malone

Circles - Post Malone

I hate you, I love you - Gnash

Mr Brightside - The Killers

Scars to your beautiful - Alessia Cara

Thank you I might request more but again no pressure

[ it’s not over ] j. drysdale

paring : Jamie Drysdale x fem!reader

summary : Jamie and his girlfriend broke up right before he was traded to Philly. when Jamie comes back to pack up the rest of his things, she tries to fight for them since she doesn’t believe it’s over for them

warning(s) : angst galore ! a few uses of Y/N

author’s note : giving me free range to write this abt whoever was probably not the best idea, especially when i like writing jamie angst 😈

fic inspired by :

༺═──────────────═༻

I was blown away What could I say? It all seemed to make sense You've taken away everything And I can't deal with that I try to see the good in life But good things in life are hard to find

The NHL season ended without a word from Jamie since the day he got traded to the Flyers in January. Nearly four months passed after he was traded and she never got so much as a text message from her former boyfriend of nearly two years.

They shared a whirlwind of a relationship where they met, said they loved each other, and moved into an Anaheim apartment down the street from Trevor all within a year.

She truly loved him, and she truly messed up before he left for the trip to Nashville that he never came back from.

She knew there were rumors going around Anaheim about Jamie's trade, and Jamie blocked them out every time he heard even a whisper about him getting traded out of Anaheim. He didn't want to hear the reality. When she tried to get him to see that, he walked out the door for the trip after they got into a fight. He packed a bag and spent the night at Trevor's.

Now that the season is over, she expects him to come back to finish packing whatever he didn't grab over the All Star break in February. She couldn't just leave the apartment. She couldn't leave all of the memories behind so easily, especially since she still loves him.

Trevor texts her the day after the season ends and tells her that Jamie is coming in soon to grab the last of his things. Jamie couldn't even let her know that he's coming by. She spends that night curled up in their bed.

We'll blow it away, blow it away Can we make this something good? Well, I'll try to do it right this time around

The following morning, she's up early and thinks about what she can do to fix what's broken between them over a cup of coffee. She has no idea if he's mad at what she said or mad at the fact that he did get traded out of Anaheim.

Maybe she shouldn't have said anything about the trade before it happened. Maybe he wouldn't be about to move out the last few boxes he packed in February if she let him process his future trade on his own.

She fucked up, but maybe she can fix it. It's not over until they both think it's over, and she doesn't think it's over with them. She'll try to do it right this time. She'll be supportive of him instead of trying to get him to see reality. That's where she messed up because Jamie was probably trying to cope with the fact that he wasn't wanted in Anaheim anymore by the team that put their faith in him and drafted him 6th a few years ago.

All she wanted to do was prepare him for the possibility of being traded across the country, and she was met with radio silence since he walked out that door.

He walked out that door with her heart and took it across the country with him. She has to try to fix what's broken. She's not ready to say goodbye to him. She's not ready for him to become a memory or a ghost that haunts her dreams.

The sound of a key in the door grabs her attention immediately. She was leaning on the kitchen island and stands straight up when the door opens. She leaves the cup of coffee on the counter because she is afraid that she's going to drop it when she sees who's walking into the apartment.

She bites her lip so she doesn't say anything when Jamie walks into the apartment for the first time with her there since the fight a bunch of months ago. It feels like a lifetime ago when he walked out the door.

He freezes when he sees her in the kitchen. Their eyes meet and she has to hold back tears.

Jamie looks so much happier and healthier than the last time she saw him in person. The bags under his eyes have gotten lighter. He is practically glowing.

He was working so hard while he was playing for Anaheim because he felt like he had something to prove. He felt like he needed to prove that he belonged here. Philly wanted him so he probably was able to relax.

"Hi," she finally breathes out when the silence gets to be too much for her. "You look, um ... you look good."

"Thanks," he replies, voice quiet. "Are the boxes still in the bedroom?"

She nods quietly and Jamie makes a quick escape down the hallway. She rests her elbows on the counter and puts her face in his hands to hide any emotions that Jamie could see when he comes back out into the living room.

Her throat closes up and tears prick her eyes. She had no idea that seeing him again would cause her to have this reaction. Seeing Jamie will always probably make her have some kind of reaction.

Let's start over I'll try to do it right this time around It's not over Because a part of me is dead and in the ground This love is killing me, but you're the only one It's not over

When he comes back into the living room, Jamie is carrying one of the six boxes that are left. That's probably the biggest box so he has to carry it by itself. The other boxes are light so they can be carried two or three at a time.

That means she's running out of time to talk to him before he walks out of her life completely.

She walks back to the bedroom where his remaining boxes sit in the corner. She sits on the bed so she can catch him when he walks back into the room. With a quick wipe of her cheeks to dry them, she settles on the mattress with her legs crosses and waits for Jamie to come back.

There are footsteps in the hallway and Jamie appears in the doorway a second later. He pauses mid-step when he sees her sitting on the bed they used to share.

"Can we talk?" she asks as her entire body shakes with anxiety and nervousness. "Please?"

Jamie walks over to the corner and piles two of the boxes on top of one another. "I don't have time," he tells her as he picks up the pair of boxes. "Trevor is waiting for me outside to take me and my stuff to the airport for my flight to Toronto."

She frowns as he walks out the door with his things, but she quickly throws on a pair of slides and follows him. "Jamie, please," she begs. "I don't want to let you leave without saying what I have to say. I don't want you to get on that flight without talking to me first."

He gets on the elevator and she jumps on with him. He presses the button to go to the first floor and the doors shut. "(Y/N)," he sighs. "I can't do this again. I don't want to do this again."

"I want to fight for us, Jamie," she says anyway as the elevator keeps descending to the first floor. "I'm not letting you just walk away so easily again. It was a mistake the first time letting you walk away. Especially because you didn't come back."

The doors open and Jamie walks out. She follows him out the front door. Trevor's car sits next to the curb, and he leans against it. "There is a reason I didn't come back," he comments as he throws the boxes in the trunk of the car. Then he looks at her. "I was traded, remember? I bet you do because you kept reminding me that I was going to be traded."

His words cause her to freeze as he walks away. She looks at Trevor, who just points in Jamie's direction. "Go," he tells her. "He's just being hard to get."

She runs after him as he approaches the elevator. The doors open and she once again joins him in the small room.

"I should've been a good girlfriend and be there for you to help you cope with the possibility of being traded," she says to Jamie. "I shouldn't have kept telling you to face reality. I didn't understand how you were feeling, but I do now. I wasn't there for you and was making it harder for you. I'm sorry."

The two walk back into the privacy of their apartment because it's still technically Jamie's apartment too. Once the door shuts, Jamie spins and faces her.

"You made it seem like you were excited to move to wherever it was I got traded to," Jamie snaps. "Meanwhile, I was leaving behind the life that I had made for myself over the past four years. I was leaving the best teammates behind, I was leaving my best friends behind. I pushed myself so hard once those rumors started that I hurt myself trying to prove that I belonged here. I hurt myself trying to prove that I had a spot on the Ducks, and they still traded me anyway. There's a reason I didn't want to face that reality and it's because I was leaving everything behind. Then there was you who seemed like you didn't care what you were leaving behind."

"Because I was ready to move across the country to be with you!" she shouts at him. Her voice is strained as she chokes back tears. "I didn't want to leave everything behind, but I was ready to start a life with you wherever you ended up, then you walked out that door and never came back. You ignored every single text and call I made. You never gave me the chance to explain myself, and now here we are."

He walks back into the bedroom to grab the last three boxes. "I didn't want to hear your excuses," he says as she follows him. "I didn't want to listen to how excited you were to start the next chapter of our lives or whatever while I was struggling to walk away from Anaheim. Sorry if I needed a second."

As he stacks the last boxes on top of each other, she says, "I would've given you as much time as you needed, Jamie. All you had to do was talk to me. Instead, you ignored me." She pauses as Jamie lifts up the boxes. "If I could do the last few months over again, I would. If I could be there for you then I would. I'd support you through anything. I did support you. I watched every single Flyers game you played in and I had to resist the urge to call you when you got hurt a few weeks after the trade. I had to ask Trevor how you were even though he was hurt too because I wasn't sure if you'd answer and I was worried you'd hurt your shoulder like you did last year. I cheered for every point you got and I loved you from 2,700 miles away while you were ignoring me."

Tears form and fall down her cheeks as she tells Jamie what been happening with her since he left. She's angry, but she loves him so much that she's willing to be angry at him for a second while they talk for the first time in months.

She's willing to be angry at him for this one moment.

Jamie puts the boxes on the ground and looks at her. "You still loved me and supported me even though I was ignoring you?" he asks like he doesn't believe her. She nods and wipes away her own tears while she looks at Jamie. "I didn't know-"

"You wouldn't have known because you refused to talk to me," she interrupts as she rubs her face. "I'm sure you didn't bother asking Z how I was either because he didn't tell me if you did ask."

"I asked him not to tell you."

"What?"

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "I did ask how you were doing, but I told Trevor not to tell you I was asking because I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to you yet," Jamie explains. "He didn't tell me that you still loved me and were supporting everything I did in Philly."

"Still love," she corrects. "Still support. I always will because I thought for years that it was going to be the two of us til the end. When you walked through that door a little bit ago, I was getting ready to fight for us. I didn't think it was actually over between us, but you tell me if it's over or if we can start over."

Jamie stays quiet, and the only reason she doesn't immediately tell him to leave is because she can see that he's genuinely thinking about her words.

I've taken all I could take And I cannot wait We're wasting too much time Being strong, holding on Can't let it bring us down My life with you means everything So I won't give up that easily

His phone buzzes and he takes it out of the pocket of his shorts. He looks back up at her and says, "I have to-"

"Go?" she interrupts again. "Then go, but know that I'm not done fighting for us and our lives together."

"(Y/N)," Jamie sighs. "I have to go tell Trevor that I'm staying." Her eyes widen. "It's not over between us. I don't want it to ever be over between us, so if you'll let me, I'd like to start over. Redo the last few months or so with you."

All of the tension leaves her body and she nearly falls to the floor. She lets out the biggest sigh of relief, and also the loudest sob that echoes off the walls of the bedroom. She covers her face and cries into her hands.

A pair of arms wrap around her shoulders and she smells Jamie's familiar cologne on his body as it engulfs her. "We'll do it right this time," he assures her. "I promise.

I'll blow it away, blow it away Can we make this something good? 'Cause it's all misunderstood Well, I'll try to do it right this time around

Let's start over I'll try to do it right this time around It's not over Because a part of me is dead and in the ground This love is killing me, but you're the only one It's not over

༺═──────────────═༻

MASTERLIST

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[adorethedistance]

Sweet Creature - Jamie Drysdale x Reader (platonic!Trevor x reader)

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: Swearing, mild roasts

Words: 1529

Summary: Domestic bliss featuring everyone’s favorite baby ducks.

A/n: I’m gonna be straight up. I fucking hate this piece. I hate it with a burning fiery passion but if I don’t post it I feel like I’ve just wasted the last few weeks that I’ve spent drafting it so here ya go

“You haven’t seen it?” I nearly screech out of pure astonishment, sitting up from my relaxed position on the couch. Jamie smiles skeptically and shrugs his shoulders with his arms outstretched lazily.

“No clue what you’re talking about.”

“Dvcree did not put their whole Pedrussy into making these Pedro Pascal edits for you to have no idea who I’m talking about.”

“Who?!”

“Ugh, that could’ve been so funny if you were just a little bit more meme-cultured. TREVOR!” I yell from the livingroom which leads the energetic boy to poke his head out of his bedroom door.

“What’s up?”

“Have you seen the Pedro Pascal edit?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you!” I make a face and Jamie to emphasize my point. He slowly shakes his head as he laughs and absentmindedly lifts the knot of his grey hoodie’s drawstring, tucking the woven cotton between his teeth. As the moment of my disbelief passes, I move over to lay down, pressing my left cheek against Jamie’s toned chest.

We’ve been laying on the couch and watching the Last of Us for the better half of an hour, with Trevor occasionally coming by to refill his water bottle and comment on the display of affection between me and Jamie. Our lazy days are nothing short of blissful and I couldn’t be more content with life at the moment.

“It’s ‘cause I’m not on TikTok!” Jamie argues while shifting to accomodate me, wrapping me in his arms, and resting the injured one on the surface of my back. What little of his skin that’s exposed is slightly cool to the touch, and I remember Jamie runs cold more often than not. I’ve been unintnentionally leeching off of his body heat since the outfit I wore today was better suited for the Irvine sun, and not his air-conditioned apartment.

“Well, you should get it. I’m tired of texting you links when I could be sending you DMs.”

“Ugh. I just can’t be bothered.”

“Whatever. Old man.” I momentarily lift my head from Jamie’s chest and pout my lips. He playfully squints at me for a second, then pecks my lips before pressing play on the last few minutes of the episode. The rhythm of his breathing is relaxing for me, and despite the episode only having five minutes left, I feel my eyelids become heavier and heavier. The warmth of our body heat between us soothes my soul, and my muscles release after a long day of productivity. If I went back in time to tell myself that a random apartment unit in Orange County would one day be the most comfortable place in the universe, I might’ve laughed in my own face.

Jamie feels like heaven.

Better than heaven.

He feels like home.

Small breaths escape my parted lips as I sink deeper and deeper into the feeling of his body against mine. And I can’t help smiling gently as I feel his heart momentarily keeping time with a song in the show. The soft fabric of Jamie’s hoodie smells like his favorite cologne over the sweet, comforting smell of his natural scent. His chest vibrates when he hums a small laugh at a joke one of the characters cracked. I’m not sure if he’s noticed my slow descent into unconsciousness, but it’s only a matter of time.

“Good episode,” he says decidedly, waiting a moment. “Y/n?” He whispers softly, unsure of my lack of response. I could say something back if I really wanted to, but with how comfortable the entire situation is, I’d rather just let the exhaustion consume me.

Jamie then grabs his phone from the armrest of the couch behind his head, opens it, and types something before his arms come to rest. In a moment, Trevor comes out of his room and asks,

“What do you need?”

“Shhhh!” Jamie hushes Trevor as he walks in loudly. “Is she asleep?” He asks quietly. Trevor shuffles around the back of the couch to stand in front of the tv, looking at my face most likely.

“Yes.”

“That was fast.”

“No kidding. She’s a cute sleeper.”

“Unlike you.”

“Hey!”

“Shhh.”

“What’s your guys’ dinner plan?”

“I think she wanted to cook something for all three of us but now that she’s out I guess I gotta do some decision-making.”

“Just order something on door dash,” Trevor says plainly as he shuffles back around the couch and into the kitchen area of the apartment.

“I got something earlier this week, my mom’s gonna ask questions.”

“I forget you’re still on her account. Loser.”

“Shut up.” The hushed tone of their chatter is comfortable and I quickly fall asleep in the safety of my boyfriend’s care.

____________________________

When I come back to, the first thing I notice is that Jamie is no longer underneath me. My eyes flutter open. I’m laying on my stomach, sprawled out on the couch under a grey blanket that I recognize to be the one-off of Jamie’s bed.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” I turn to face away from the seatback of the couch and find Trevor and Jamie seated on the floor, an assortment of takeout on the coffee table in front of them. Trevor nods a greeting as Jamie takes a bite of food.

“Were you just watching me sleep?” I ask, slightly freaked out.

“Yes.” Jamie almost chokes on the bite of food, shoving Trevor’s shoulder which makes them both laugh.

“No,” he starts to clarify, “We were just sitting against the couch and when we heard you stirring, we thought it’d be funny to stare at you.”

“How long was I asleep?”

“Like, half an hour?”

“You want some pad thai?” Trevor holds out the box of food he’s eating from and I nod shyly. Jamie passes me an unwrapped pair of chopsticks and I thank him quietly, tucking into the half-eaten box. We sit quietly for all but thirty seconds before Trevor is talking about how we need background music. He puts 1989 on shuffle on the tv and Jamie and I roll our eyes perfectly in sync.

“How dare you! Both of you!”

“Honestly, Z, you’re too predictable. Only one person here out of the three of us had Taylor in our Spotify wrapped and I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t me.” I shrug from behind my box of food. Trevor scoffs before eating an entire dumping whole.

“She was in mine but she was not number one,” Jamie adds insult to injury.

“Okay then, fine. What about this?” Trevor asks, turning on a song by Luke Combs that I’ve never heard. Jamie’s expression is slightly annoyed but delighted all the same. He responds decisively,

“Much better.”

“What?! Am I missing something?” I ask.

“The whole team’s calling him Luke Combs since Jamie’s guitar learning adventure began, but he can only play two chords of one country song.” I look at Jamie for confirmation and he simply nods, biting the inside of his cheek absentmindedly.

“Really, Jame? Two chords?”

“I’m working on it!”

“Yeah, he’s working on it!” Trevor jokingly jumps in to Jamie’s defense, “Like you could do better!”

“Bitch, I can play guitar!” My argument silences both of them immediately. The two boys share a look and then Trevor is off, racing to grab the instrument from Jamie’s bedroom.

“You’re lying, there’s no way.”

“While some of you were busy dedicating a gazillion hours a week to hockey practice, the rest of us expanded our skill sets.” I take the guitar as Trevor hands it to me and situate myself before strumming a quick brush through and immediately cringing. “Your A string is flat.” Jamie looks at me confused, and I extend my hand to take the instrument from him. He yields and passes it over, allowing me to remedy the issue. After tuning the string, I smile and move to hand Jamie the guitar back but he doesn’t move. Instead he nods, urging me to play and I take a deep breath.

“It’s been a while…”

“Oh, don’t back out now!” Trevor teases and I playfully stick my tongue out at him. I adjust my grip, racking my brain for a song, any song. My mind settles on Sweet Creature by Harry Styles and I decide to just go for it. I’m a tad rusty but other than that I have the melody under control. The song is pretty enough on it’s own and I trail off after the first chorus, overcome with a newfound shyness at the looks Jamie and Trevor are giving me. Jamie’s lips are parted in awe and Trevor bursts out laughing.

“You might as well give up now, Jimmy.”

“Lucky for him, I’m an excellent teacher.” I say with a smile, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. Jamie snaps back into reality and begins blushing like crazy.

“I don’t think I’ll ever sound like that.”

“You just need practice. I have a few more years on you so of course I’m gonna sound better than someone who’s just starting. You’ve got this and worse case scenario I can help.”

Jamie smiles sweetly, and my heart skips a beat.

“Will you play it again?”

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box Series— Cruel Weather (Part One)

requests: “I was wondering if you’d maybe do something about sissy getting seriously hurt (like a landing in the hospital kind of bad?) I honestly just really want to see all the boys protective and worried about her” and “Hi!!! Im absolutely in love with the penalty box series, and i was wondering if we could get a small blurb with sissy getting injured? ik you did a thing depicting how the boys would react, and im intrigued to see how that would play out:)”

requests based off this ask: how the boys would react to sissy getting hurt

warnings: major car accident, crying, surgery, broken bones, coma, mentions of God, mentions of medication, swearing

word count: 5.1k

General Series Masterlist

p.s. we go big or go home in this series, so be careful what you wish for ;)

p.s.s i did look things up in medical articles for this so it’s as accurate as i understood.

part one — part two — part three — part four

——————

SEPTEMBER 2021

It was storming.

Well, storming might be too kind of a word for what mother nature was throwing at you tonight. It was the most aggressive torrential downpour you’ve ever seen, let alone driven in.

It wasn’t raining that hard when you got into the car to pick up Trevor and Jamie from the gym, because Trevor’s car was in the shop, and the weather radar said the storm wasn’t due to hit until later that night. You tried to stay as calm and collected as you could while driving. You were gripping the wheel to keep your car from fishtailing and you were attentive to everything around you. Not every driver on the road was being as careful as you.

———

Trevor was pacing the foyer of the gym, constantly checking his girlfriend’s location on the big life 360 circle, which wasn’t refreshing and said that she hadn’t left home.

“She said she left twenty minutes ago!”

“It’s raining, Z,” Jamie tried to be reasonable, although he was worried, too. “She’s probably driving slow.”

“No, it was raining twenty minutes ago. It’s World War three out there right now!” Trevor yelled.

“Maybe she pulled over because she got scared?” Jamie offered a reasonable explanation.

“She would’ve called,” Trevor dismissed him.

“She could’ve called Quinn.”

Trevor stopped in his tracks and turned to face his best friend.

“You don’t know Quinn that well, but he would’ve had her at least text me. And I would’ve been the next person she called if he didn’t-“

Trevor was cut off by his phone ringing.

“Thank fuck,” he said relieved. His expression quickly changed, however.

“What?” Jamie asked, now joining on the concerned out of his mind train.

“It’s a hospital,” Trevor said. The color was drained from his face. “Hello?”

Jamie didn’t think it was possible, but Trevor got even more ghost white at whatever the person on the other end of the phone was saying. All he knows is that his best friend’s knees gave out and he had to catch him to ease him up against the wall on the ground.

“Z?! Trevor, what did the hospital say?!” Jamie kept tapping Trevor’s cheek to get him to respond, but he was too out of it. “Z, I need you to work with me here. Hey! Hey, look at me!”

“She’s…”

“She’s what, Trevor? Y/N?” Trevor nodded. “Is she okay?”

It was Jamie’s turn to turn white when he shook his head. Jamie was not only scared at the uncertainty of the condition Y/N was in, but at his best friend’s reaction. He knew that Y/N and Trevor were each other’s worlds, but he’d never seen Trevor like this. It was unnerving.

Jamie turned to look outside and saw that the storm was letting up, so he took the opportunity to call Fowler to pick them up. While he was waiting for Fowler to arrive, he took Trevor’s phone so that he could call Jack.

“What’s up, Z?” Jack answered.

“Jack! It’s Jamie. I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to spill it out.”

“What’s wrong? Is Z okay?”

“Um… It’s not Z that I’m the most worried about. He got a call from the hospital. I guess Y/N got into an accident, but he basically fainted and all I know is that he shook his head when I asked if she was okay,” Jamie spewed out.

He heard something drop and break over the phone, followed by someone’s shouts asking “what happened?”

“Jack?”

“I’ll call everyone else and get on a plane. Keep me updated. Can you give Trevor the phone?” Jack asked, his voice sounding like a drill sergeant. Jamie put the phone on speaker because he didn’t really know how catatonic Trevor was right now. “Okay, he’s here.”

“Trevor? Listen to me, okay? Sissy’s going to need you. I know you’re terrified right now, and I know you’re thinking of ways to blame yourself. She doesn’t need that. She needs her boyfriend to be with her. She needs you. I’m going to call everyone, so don’t worry about that. Take your time. Let Jamie help. But the second she opens her eyes, I need you to be strong for her if none of us are there, okay?”

Jamie waited for Trevor’s reaction, “He’s nodding.”

“I need more than that, Z,” Jack said.

“O- okay,” Trevor forced himself to speak, but it came out very shaky.

Shortly after Jack hung up, Cam arrived. He came running, semi knowing the severity of the situation. He took one look at his teammate on the ground and knelt down in front of him.

“Have you ever seen him like this?” Cam asked.

“Never,” Jamie answered.

“Alright, I’m going to pull my car to the front and then we’ll get him in the car.”

It took both guys to get Trevor on his feet and into the backseat of the car to drive to the hospital, and he remained silent the entire drive there.

———

Jack dropped his glass the second Jamie said “Y/N” and “accident” in the same sentence. He completely ignored his roommate’s questions. After hanging up with Jamie and Trevor, he had to make some not ideal phone calls. So he started with the hardest one. Quinn didn’t answer, instead sending him a text saying that he was busy and asked if he could call him back later. When Jack told him it was an emergency, his phone immediately rang.

“What’s wrong?” Quinn asked urgently.

“You might want to sit down,” Jack said.

“Jack, I’m at the gym with Petey, there’s not an ideal place to sit down!”

“Trust me, Q.”

“Alright, hold on.”

Jack waited while Quinn told Petey he was going to the locker room and made his way there.

“You’re not dying, are you?” his brother asked, worry coating his voice.

“No, it’s not me, um… Sissy got in an accident. I don’t how bad it is, but Trevor is basically catatonic right now,” Jack said, getting choked up at the end.

There was a long silence. All Jack could hear was Quinn’s breathing getting unsteady.

“Tell me she’s with you right now and decided to play a sick joke,” Quinn said.

“Quinn…”

“TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING, JACK!”

“I’m not,” Jack said shakily. His big brother losing it on the phone was enough for him to snap out of his take charge mode and finally start crying. “And I really wish I was.”

Quinn gulped, also trying to keep it together, “Do you want me to meet you in Anaheim, or do you want me to come get you?” Quinn asked.

“Anaheim is closer-“

“I will sit on a plane for an extra two hours if you need me to. I’ll call everyone else if you need me to. I’ll-“

“Go to her,” Jack cut him off. “Let me handle everything else. She needs you.”

“She needs you, too, Jacky,” Quinn said softly.

“Go to her. I’ll see you there.”

The rest of the phone calls to Luke, Cole, Alex, and his parents were just as hard. Just like Quinn offered to come get him, he offered to come get his little brother. And just like he did, Luke told him to go to Sissy. Alex was closest, so he would be there first. Quinn would likely be next, since he has the shortest flight time depending on when he could get on a plane. The rest of his family would likely beat him there due to the slightly quicker flight time. The race to Sissy for Cole and Jack would depend on who catches a place first. Whatever the case, Jack would be one of the last people there. And the thought of that made him sick.

———

When they arrived at the hospital, Cam insisted on coming in to support his teammates and Y/N.

“Jimmy, you’re forgetting every member of this team loves Y/N. I’ll take care of talking to Dallas to tell him you two won’t be at training camp for at least tomorrow. But I’m not leaving right now,” Cam said firmly.

Jamie nodded and they both got Trevor, who was still scarily out of it, out of the car and into the hospital. Cam sat down with Trevor in the waiting room while Jamie went to talk to a nurse running the desk.

“Hi, how may I help you?” she asked him.

“Uh… My name is Jamie Drysdale. My friend over there is the emergency contact for Y/N Y/L/N and I’m assuming her accident was bad because he’s really out of it and hasn’t spoken and I was hoping to get some information for him?” Jamie told her.

“And what’s his name?”

“Trevor Zegras.”

“Alright. It says here that she’s currently in surgery, so a doctor will be out when there’s any news,” she explained to him.

“What’s the surgery for?” Jamie asked urgently.

“I’m sorry, sir. I can’t discuss that information with you.”

“Can you tell it to her emergency contact?”

Jamie went to get Trevor when the nurse told him yes. He’s pretty sure the only reason he got Trevor’s attention was when he said his girlfriend’s name.

“Can I see some ID?” the nurse asked him.

Jamie dug out Trevor’s wallet from his back pocket and handed the nurse his drivers license. Trevor still wasn’t speaking, so they both just stood there expectantly.

“The impact from the other driver crushed the left side of her car. The damage was enough to require surgery to fix the comminuted fractures she endured in the accident.”

“So what does mean?” Jamie asked shakily.

“She had many breaks and fractures in many of the same bones in her leg, so the surgery is to implant internal fixtures,” the nurse explained. “Based off her chart, this is likely the first of a few surgeries.”

“O-okay. Thank you,” Jamie managed to get out.

The news was anything but helpful for Trevor. If anything, it made him worse. He was walking shaky again and it was even worse than when he originally got the phone call. Cam staying ended up being a good thing, because he rushed over to help Trevor back into a seat.

“How bad?” he asked.

“She’s in the first of who knows how many surgeries,” Jamie whispered to him.

All there was to do was wait. And wait. And wait.

Jamie didn’t know how much time had passed when Alex burst through the front doors to the hospital, desperately looking back and forth for his friends. Jamie raised his hand up to signal to him and he rushed over.

“How is she?” Alex asked him immediately.

Jamie got up and took him over to the other side of the waiting room to give Alex the quick run down on both Y/N’s condition and Trevor’s reaction.

“Has he ever done this?” Jamie asked him.

“No,” Alex shook his head. “I’ve never seen him not speaking. Even when he’d get upset. Even when things with Y/N got rough. He’s never been like this.”

“What did you do when things got rough with Y/N?”

“Got him drunk,” Alex tried to laugh.

“I don't think that'll work in this situation,” Jamie sighed.

“No,” Alex sighed, too. “It won’t.”

Alex became the bridge between everyone else’s flight times and updates on their arrivals and them. Most won’t arrive until late that night just because of flight schedules, but miraculously everyone managed to find a flight today. Everyone except Quinn, who couldn’t find a flight until five in the morning.

Two hours later was when a doctor finally came out. He informed the group that the first surgery was a success and that she should be waking up within an hour. Cam took this as his cue to leave so that the people closest to her would be all that was there.

It wasn’t a pretty sight when Trevor, Jamie, Alex, and the doctor, Dr. Walsh, stepped into Y/N’s hospital room. Most of the damage was to the left side of her body. Her left leg was wrapped and elevated in a sling, and her left shoulder was equally wrapped and propped on a large piece that almost looked like foam right next to her. Add all the wires and tubes attached to her, and she looked one step away from withering away.

“What was the surgery on?” Alex asked.

“It was to fix a series of comminuted fractures in her knee as well as her tibia. A cast cannot be applied until the swelling has gone down, so it’ll be held in traction for the next few days.”

“And the other surgeries she needs?” Jamie added on.

“It will just be one. She needs a total shoulder replacement to fix the damage that the crushing of her car door did.”

“Anything else?” Trevor finally spoke. Jamie and Alex whipped their heads to their friend that sat himself in the chair next to his girlfriend’s bed side.

“Besides the visible cuts and bruises, she has a severe concussion,” Dr. Walsh said.

“And you put her under anesthesia?” Jamie asked, shocked.

“We used a different kind of anesthesia that is perfectly safe for patients with a concussion. She’s completely healthy besides the injuries from her accident, so we aren’t expecting any complications.”

“Expecting?” Trevor asked.

“There’s always a chance for complications, but as of right now, we don’t believe she’ll experience any of them. She’s heavily sedated with pain medication, so she might not stay awake for long periods of time when she does wake up, but everything else should be perfectly normal.”

Trevor nodded and Jamie shook the doctor’s hand as he left the room.

“And now we wait,” he sighed, pulling up a seat next to Trevor. Alex grabbed a chair and pulled it up to her most injured side.

“We should’ve just driven her car to the gym,” Trevor said, refusing to look anywhere but his hands holding Y/N’s uninjured hand. “We knew it was going to rain, and we made her drive out in a storm, which scared the shit out of her, to get us.”

“Z, we didn’t know it would hit early,” Jamie tried to comfort his friend.

“But we knew it was coming! I should’ve called us an uber the second it started to rain early. She shouldn’t have been driving!”

“Trevor,” it was Alex’s turn to try. “She wouldn’t have driven in the rain if she thought it was unsafe or if she was having trouble with anxiety. You know that. She would’ve pulled over the second it got to the point where she couldn’t drive anymore and called you. This accident wasn’t her fault. She could’ve gotten into the same accident on a sunny afternoon. You can’t drop everything every time there’s a chance of rain. This isn’t on you.”

Trevor ran his hand through his hair and kept his other holding Y/N’s. His leg was bouncing a mile per minute and his breaths were sharp, but steady.

“Can I have a minute?” he asked, his voice cracking. Jamie and Alex said nothing, both only patting Trevor on the shoulder as they went into the hallway.

“The world shouldn’t be this cruel to you,” Trevor said. He was alone and finally allowed himself to cry. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you. I was- I don’t know. I blacked out for a while. And I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have had to rely on Jamie to even get here, and I think Fowler was involved, too. I remember Jack telling me I need to be here for you, and I am, but I’m not myself without you. And for most of tonight, I thought I’d have to learn how to be someone without you. I never want to know that man.”

Trevor started to cry even harder and couldn’t get any more words out. He laid his head down on the thin mattress, keeping his hand in yours. Jamie and Alex came back in when they heard his sobs. Jamie bent down and put his arm around his best friend, who did nothing but lean against him for support.

“She’ll be okay,” Jamie said low. “She has to be.”

An hour passed and Y/N had yet to wake up. She was heavily sedated, so the doctors weren’t worried yet.

Then another hour passed. And another. It was past nine. Her surgery started almost six hours ago, and ended about four hours ago. And she hadn’t woken up yet. Not for even a second.

The doctors finally decided Y/N’s lack of waking up from the anesthesia was cause for concern. All three boys were kicked out and sent back to the waiting room while they ran tests on her.

“I gotta call Quinn,” Trevor said and walked outside. He slid down against the brick wall outside and took a moment to breathe. His entire world was inside the hospital. And something was wrong. And he didn’t know what.

“Hello?” Quinn answered urgently. Trevor immediately let out a sob when he answered. He had to tell his girlfriend’s best friend her condition while he was over a thousand miles away.

“Trevor, what’s wrong?!”

“Something’s wrong,” Trevor choked out.

“What? What’s wrong, Z, spill it out!”

“They don’t know yet. She was supposed to wake up within an hour after surgery and she hasn’t yet. It’s been over four now,” Trevor told him slowly.

“Fuck!” Quinn yelled. A thud and the sound of something getting knocked over followed. “I should be there! If there was a fucking flight before tomorrow morning, I would’ve already been there!”

Trevor remained silently crying while Quinn paced back and forth. After a minute, Trevor heard Quinn’s voice again. Only he wasn’t speaking. He was crying. Trevor just sat against the wall and listened while he cried, too. Because that’s all they could do for each other right now.

By the grace of the universe, the Hughes parents plus Luke arrived. The three of them rushed over to Trevor, expecting the worst.

“What happened?! Is Sissy okay?!” Luke sputtered out. He didn’t give Trevor a chance to respond before he started speaking again. “Trevor!”

“She hasn’t—“ Trevor got too choked up. Ellen sat down next to him and put her arm around him. “She hasn’t what?”

“She hasn’t woken up yet. They’re running tests to see what’s wrong,” Trevor finally got out.

They stayed outside for a bit, Ellen taking Trevor’s phone to speak to her oldest son to try and help him calm down.

Jamie came out to get Trevor to inform him that the tests are done but the doctors won’t speak to him directly because he’s not an emergency contact, and was happily (as much as he could be) surprised at the arrival of Jim, Ellen, and Luke. He had only met them once, but greeted them with hugs anyway. He pulled Trevor up, and Luke pulled up his mom, and the five of them made their way back into the hospital so that they could talk to a doctor.

Ellen explained that they were Y/N’s family, so the doctor could finally talk to people that weren’t just Trevor. Which was good, because it was already taking a toll on him.

The update was anything but good. It was quite possibly one of the worst possible outcomes that didn’t involve dying.

“What we hoped was just delayed emergence from the anesthesia, was actually Y/N slipping into a coma. It’s not very common, but we have concluded that the cause was from her reaction to the drug mixture from the anesthesia and her antidepressants. The serotoninergic agents in her medication didn’t react normally. It’s rare, but not an abnormality. Now that we know the cause, we can begin treatment to help her awake from the coma,” Dr. Walsh informed the group.

Trevor’s knees began to give out again, and Alex and Jamie were the only reasons he didn’t completely fall to the floor. They helped him into a chair and a nurse that saw it happen quickly brought him some water.

While Jim and Ellen continued to talk with Dr. Walsh, Luke went back outside. He couldn’t take it. There were so many emotions pent up in him, and he didn’t know how to deal with it. He never had to. When Alex came out to find him, he was sitting just like Trevor was, trying not to sob.

“Hey,” Alex said as he slid down the wall beside him.

“Back in Sissy and Jack’s freshman year before the move, she twisted her ankle at the outdoor rink. She was crying and in pain and we weren’t sure if she had broken her ankle yet. She didn’t fall hard, so looking back we should’ve known, but I was a kid. I was scared.

“The second we got her off the ice, I gripped onto her hand. And suddenly she was trying to hold it together and play it off that it didn’t hurt that bad when it clearly did. Quinn was fussing over her and asking her why she was pretending to be okay. All it took was one look from her for Quinn to know it was because of me. He told Jack to take me away, but she refused. She told him that if I needed her to hold my hand, she wasn’t going to let go until I was okay. She knew I was scared. I’m terrified right now and she—“ Luke’s own cries cut him off, which seemed to be a common theme for everybody.

“I can hold your hand,” Alex tried to joke. Luke breathed out a laugh, “I’ll be okay.”

“Come on,” Alex said while getting up. “You can still hold her hand. Her right arm is free from all wraps and slings and everything else. You just have to be the strong one this time.”

———

When Trevor stumbled into Y/N’s room, he wasn’t expecting her to have a tube down her throat. He was expecting her to look just as he last saw her.

“Wh- what?” Trevor stammered. He rushed over the side of the bed to get a closer look. at her. Her chest rose with the pumping of the machine.

“Dr. Walsh said the coma has affected her ability to breathe on her own,” Ellen said as she walked in. “They had to intubate her.”

Trevor sat down in his chair and held Y/N’s hand in both of his. He brought it up to his lips and softly kissed each knuckle. He closed his eyes, still holding her hand to his face, and allowed silent tears to fall.

“Is she gonna die?” he squeaked, opening his eyes to look at Ellen.

Ellen pursed her lips, “The doctors say that with the new treatment plan, everything should work out and she’ll be awake in a couple of days.”

“They also said she’d be up within the hour. Now it’s six hours later and she can’t breathe on her own,” Trevor scoffed bitterly. The relief of bitterness only lasted for a moment. Luke came in and Trevor suddenly felt the need to step up for him. His brothers weren’t here, and his sister was in a coma. Luke gasped at the sight and slowly made his way to the end of her bed, placing his hands on the rail of the foot of the bed.

“You can sit here,” Trevor said softly as he got up.

“No, it’s okay. She’s your-“

“She’s your sister,” Trevor cut him off, speaking firmly.

Luke nodded and slowly made his way to the chair Trevor was just residing in. He sat down and tentatively took Y/N’s hand, careful not to touch the new IV implanted into her arm.

“Do you need a minute?” Trevor asked. He began to leave quietly with Ellen when Luke nodded. “Oh, by the way; Jack texted. His and Cole’s flights landed around the same time, so they’ll be here soon.”

“Thanks,” Luke croaked out while putting his elbows on the bed and brought his sister’s hand to his face.

“Fuck, Sissy,” Luke sighed. “Why is it always you? I know you say you’d rather be the one in pain instead of any one of us, but God gave you a decade’s worth of our pain in one accident.”

Luke was full on crying now.

“I can’t lose you. When I saw Trevor crying outside, I thought you died. I thought some stranger took you away from me. From us. And I-“

Luke couldn’t go on. His sobs were too harsh. Jack, finally arriving, rushed into the hospital room and pulled up a chair next to his younger brother and pulled him into his side for a hug.

“Turc told me I needed to be strong, but I can’t. I can’t be the strong one and I thought I lost her and I can’t lose her! I can’t lose Sissy, Jack. That’s not an option! And if she doesn’t wake up…”

“Hey, none of that,” Jack said, rubbing his hand up and down his brother’s back. “She’s one of the strongest people I know. She can be stubborn, but she knows when to ask for help. I’ll be there to help her, you’ll be there to help her, mom, dad, Quinn, Trevor, and everyone else that dropped everything and got here as fast as they could will be there to help. Nico already said he’ll visit soon. If you’ve told Duker, he’ll probably come, too. Sissy is so loved, and she knows it. She’s not gonna quit on us. She’s got a lot more tormenting left in her.”

Luke huffed out a sad attempt at a laugh and pulled away from his brother. He stood up and motioned for Jack to take his chair, “Your turn, Jacky.”

Jack smiled and thanked Luke before replacing his brother with himself in the chair closest to Y/N.

“I hate this. We all do. But the season will start soon, and I’ll have to go back to Jersey, which means I can’t be with you every step of the way. I’ll have to go back to a constant state of worrying about you. So if you could wake up within the next ten days, that would be doing me a huge solid, you know?”

Jack was trying to joke, hoping that you could hear him, but the tears became too much. He was trying to be the person holding everyone together. He was trying to take Sissy’s roll. But no one was okay enough to play her role for him.

Trevor knocked on the door and Jack motioned for him to come in, “How’s it going? You hanging on?”

“I’m trying,” Trevor answered honestly. “The Doctors are getting sick of us, by the way. At eleven they want us all gone now that she’s settled. One of us can stay the night, though.”

“You staying?”

“I assumed so. Quinn’s not here,” Trevor said. “Come on, Jamie wants a minute with her before he has to go. Everyone’s staying at our house.”

“Is Jamie cooking everyone breakfast?” Jack teased, once again searching for a way to lighten things.

“For your sake, I hope not,” Trevor lightly smiled back as they threw an arm around one another and made their way out of the room.

Jamie was quick to replace them, only having a few minutes before eleven.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, or if there’s some astral projection of you somewhere in this room like the movies, but I just want you to know that I’m here and that I love you. So many people dropped everything to be here, but if they couldn’t, I’d still be here. And I’ll be there for you every second once you’re released and we will figure something out once the season starts for everyone,” Jame took her hand in his, “We love you. Every single one of us. All of us have teammates texting us asking how you’re doing. You’re so loved by every person you meet. You don’t deserve this. You are the last person on Earth who deserves this. And I know you’ll say that you’re glad it was just you in the car and that you hadn’t picked me and Z up yet, but we aren’t. But none of us were going to be thankful for the same ending. Then you’d guilt trip us into agreeing to your face, but we all know we don’t agree. I’d rather have you cuddled unreasonably close to me and Z over a terrifying almost than facing this… cruel reality.”

Jamie stopped talking and let himself attempt to find comfort in the steady beep of the machine monitoring Y/N’s heartbeat. It was steady; it was in sync with the pumping of oxygen into her frail body.

“It’s not fair,” Jamie squeaked out through tears.

Everything came crashing down at once for Jamie. He had been holding it together for Trevor for so long; he didn’t get a chance to properly feel anything. Sobs wracked his body as he put his head down on the bed and gripped her hand tightly. Trevor heard him and came rushing in. He stood next to the chair and wrapped his arms around his best friend, a sight no one thought they’d ever see.

“She was coming to get us,” Jamie cried. Trevor hugged him tighter, “I know… I know.”

They stayed like this for as long as they could before Jim popped in and informed them that they had to go. Trevor promised to call them if anything as little as a blink happened, and that was finally enough to get Jamie to willingly leave.

Sleep was not coming easy for Trevor. He knew it was highly unlikely that his girlfriend would wake up, the doctors said it might take a few days for the delayed emergence to end and that she was so sedated from pain medication that it would take a while, but he couldn’t help but have hope.

“You’d probably scold me for not being able to sleep,” Trevor huffed a laugh. “I can practically hear you using my full name and physically shoving my body onto the bed and doing a full dramatic show of tucking me in.”

Trevor pulled up a comfier chair that was brought in and propped his legs up on another chair to attempt to get comfortable.

“Goodnight, sweet girl,” Trevor said as he kissed Y/N’s forehead. “I’ll be right here if you need me. I love you, forever.”

[yellowflwrss]

“i got you baby” ; trevor zegras

• in which y/n is hurting because of cramps but doesn’t want to interrupt trevor.

trevor had been playing video games on call with his friends for hours now. you had no problem with him doing so, you even told him to go. you didn’t want trevor worrying about your menstrual problems ‘cause then he’d leave all his friends just to lay and cuddle you all day.

of course you wanted the cuddles but you also didn’t want your loving boyfriend to be sitting all day when he could at least be somewhat productive.

yet, as the hours went by, the pain in your stomach got worse. the medicine you had taken an hour ago proved to be useless as you laid in bed with your legs curled into your chest and stanley, yours and trevor’s golden retriever puppy sprawled out right by your head. his little breathing was heard as you cringed at the feeling in your whole body.

trevor was heard outside the bedroom yelling at his friends as they played god knows what. because of this, stanley’s eyes opened tiredly and he yawned, clearly annoyed at his fathers antics yet at peace with his mom. “should we go to trev, stan?” you asked your puppy, whom you treated more like your son then just a dog (even though in your opinion, a dog is never just a dog).

stanley’s eyes widened more as his floppy ears popped up at trevor’s name coming out of your mouth. you carefully got out of bed, carrying stanley in your arms as you walked to the bedroom door and pulled it open.

you walked into the living room where trevor was currently on a waiting screen, laughing with his friends on call as he set up for the next round of whatever it was he was playing.

“trevor?” you called out to your boyfriend. you let stanley down on the couch and he immediately ran to trevor who picked the puppy up and showered him in kisses.

“hey babe, what’s up?” he saw your pained expression and muted himself on the call with his friends. you out your arms around the bottom if your stomach in discomfort.

“i don’t want to stop you from playing with your friends but im on my period right now and i don’t feel well.” you cursed at yourself for your hormones acting up as your voice cracked and tears welded in your eyes. trevor shook his head and brought you to him, laying you down on him carefully and kissing your cheek.

he immediately put his free hand on your stomach, the warmth easing your pain a little “baby don’t say that, i’ll always stop what i’m doing to help you. no matter what it is.” stanley joined you and trevor, laying right next to your stomach.

“hey guys, i gotta go.” your boyfriend said to his friends. they spoke a few more words till he hung up and his whole attention was then on you. you tried to blink away the tears but they kept stupidly coming.

trevor wiped away your tears then kissed you “why are you crying, baby?”

“sometimes i hate being a woman. this pain is stupid.” you laughed. trevor let out a little chuckle and held you closer. stanley laid his head on your stomach and looked up at you. you almost lost it at his cuteness and blew a kiss to stanley.

“well i know you can handle it, girl. this ain’t gonna break you. i got you baby, don’t worry. if i have to, i’ll be in this exact same spot every day for that time of the month just to tell you this all over again.”

you smiled wholesomely at trevor. younger you would have never thought you’d be in this place, happy with a loving boyfriend and even an adorable puppy. you didn’t deserve trevor. you brought your boyfriend into a passionate kiss on the lips before laying your head on his chest.

“wanna put something on?” he ran his fingers through your hair with one hand as his other let go of your stomach to grab the remote. stanley took it as his job to help your stomach, laying himself more on top of it.

you hummed quietly in response to trevor. for you, he put on gilmore girls and his hand was quickly back on your stomach, his other continuing to play with your hair. a little while after, he heard soft breathing from you, indicating that you were asleep.

trevor carefully picked both you and stanley up, taking his sleeping girlfriend and their sleeping puppy into their bedroom where he resumed his previous spot cuddling his girlfriend. “love you baby.” trevor mumbled before kissing your forehead and joining you to sleep.

[lukeys-pookies]

i thought you were different:

quinn hughes fanfiction

trigger warnings: angst, mentions of blades on cement, custom toilet seat covers, more angst, “you’re different than other girls” vibe, and even more angst

quinn hughes was your favourite hockey player. you loved him more than life itself, and you had no issue spending your life savings away if it meant seeing him through the filthy glass at the arena.

you have always made signs, banged on the glass, shouted his name until your throat burned, but nothing could get his attention. but this game, you decided to try a different approach.

you styled your locks in a messy bun, put in your glasses, and chose your comfiest yet sexiest outfit you had. you grabbed the novel you hadn’t touched in years and brought it with you to the game.

you were sitting in the front row behind the players bench, with your book in hand, when your eyes caught quinn in your peripheral vision.

“oh god.” you said to yourself. you tried your hardest not to look at him, but the temptation was too great. you looked up and noticed that quinn was staring at you. his beautiful dead eyes scanning your body and the book in hand.

he threw you a wink, accidentally closing both eyes, and your heart nearly exploded.

but the plan was working. you couldn’t return the wink like you wanted to. instead, you rolled your eyes and returned to the novel, unable to focus on the words when quinn hughes had just winked at you.

you didn’t watch the game. you flipped through pages, and annoyingly turned your head up to look at quinn through the glass. every time you did, his eyes were locked on you. his sweaty hair glued to the sides of his face and a dead look swept across his features. however, his eyes seemed to shine every time they locked with yours.

you were falling more and more in love with him.

as the game finished, you felt proud of yourself for ignoring him. it had been hard not looking at him and cheering his name, but it all worked out. quinn hughes had noticed you.

you were walking out of the arena when you heard yelling. you turned and found quinn running towards you, still dressed in his equipment and his blades scratching against the cement floor. he was shoving people out of the way to reach you.

“wait!” he called, as you turned back to walk of the arena. your heart thudded against your chest, but you continued walking. you needed to play the game for a little longer before you gave in.

eventually, quinn caught up to you and snagged your wrist. you turned and faced those beautiful blue orbs of his and you completely melted.

“what’s your name?” he asked, his fingers curling gently around your wrist.

“(y/n).” you replied, trying to sound as bored as possible.

“go on a date with me.” quinn smiled, and the grin finally reached his dead eyes, brightening the whole arena.

you paused, pretending to consider the offer, “alright.”

you didn’t let quinn get in another word before you ran out of the arena, flailing your arms to flee. if you had stayed any longer, you were sure that you would’ve kissed him and completely blew your cover.

a few days later, you went on the date. it was magical. he had taken you to mcdonald’s, and split the cheeseburger happy meal. he had ate most of it, but you didn’t mind. you were lost in his eyes the whole time.

quinn had kissed you at the end of the date, and asked you to be his one true love. you agreed, maybe a little too happily, but quinn didn’t seem to notice.

it was around the third month of dating quinn that you got sick of the act. you were tired of acting bored around him, reading books at all his hockey games, and pretending that you didn’t really like him.

so you decided to tell him the truth.

you knew that he would understand. that there wouldn’t be anything that could tear the two of you apart.

you were sitting down in your apartment, with all your quinn hughes merchandise tucked away in the closet, when quinn arrived.

he must’ve just came from practice. he had the sweet smell of sweat clinging to his skin, and his hair messed from his helmet. you deeply inhaled his scent as he sat down on the couch beside you.

“quinny boy, there is something i have to tell you.” you started, gripping at the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

“what is it, sugar plum?” he replied.

“i’ve been lying to you.” you started, “about everything. i love hockey. i love you. and i tried pretending to not be interested in the off chance that you would notice me.” you felt tears begin to form, but you wouldn’t let them fall.

quinny boy needed to see you strong.

“i don’t understand.” he said.

you got up from the couch and went to the closet that held all your merchandise. you opened the doors and all of it came tumbling down from the shelves. quinn gaped as he noticed his face pressed on pillows, blankets, cups, tshirts, stuffed teddy bears, and even your custom made quinn hughes toilet seat cover.

then his eyes landed on the cardboard cut out you had made of him. the one you used to sleep next to every night before quinn had noticed you.

tears fall as quinn stared at everything. you were sure that he would understand. that he must’ve noticed you all those times before, when you had been screaming his name until your voice went hoarse. when you had signs made reading “marry me, quinny” and “i’ll love you until my last breath, quinny boy” and “put a baby in me”

“i cannot believe this.” he finally said.

“please, quinny boy. i love you, this doesn’t change anything.” you begged.

“it changes everything!” he yelled, standing up and rushing towards the merchandise.

“i only fell for you because you were different! you were mean and annoyed with me! i loved you because you hated me!” he screamed, as he began to rip apart the merchandise. feathers from the pillows exploded, cups broken on the floor, tshirts torn into shreds. the custom toilet seat cover smashed beneath his feet. you tried to stop a sob from breaking, but it came out as the smash of the toilet seat sounded.

“loved?” you asked, “as in past tense?”

quinn paused. his eyes locked on yours, even more dead than they have ever been. the bright blue orbs you remembered from the arena were gone. he grabbed the cardboard cut out and held it in his hands.

“yes.” he said as he ripped the cardboard cut out in two. quinn stormed out of your apartment without ever looking back.

you sank to the floor in the mess of your quinn hughes merchandise. your tears stained the ripped shirts and teddy bears.

as the cries began to slow, you grabbed your glue gun from the closet and began gluing the cardboard cut out back together. because if you couldn’t have the real quinn hughes, cardboard quinny boy would have to do.

[goldfades]

✮ 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬, jamie drysdale

now you're liftin' me up, 'stead of holdin' me down stealin' my heart, 'stead of stealin' my crown untangled all the strings 'round my wings that were tied i didn't know him and i didn't know me cloud nine was always out of reach now i remember what it feels like to fly you give me butterflies

♡ ─ word count | 1.9k

♡ ─ summary | no one has ever made you feel the way jamie did. every day, jamie convinces you more and more that he loves you in different ways.

♡ ─ warnings | unedited, a little bit of angst to fluff (like the tiniest bit, it all gets resolved), tooth rotting sweet fluff, a little mention of exes, jealousy

♡ ─ taglist | fill out my form if you're interested!

♡ ─ ev's notes | i love jamie more than anything else in the world, he makes me SO FUCKING HAPPY. anyways, i kind of went off the song a little bit but i just needed a title LMAO, i love the song though. check it out if y'all haven't heard it. i'm such a whore for fluff, this was also very self indulgent.

You'd never been in love before Jamie.

That was the recent realization you'd have. Ever since you'd been with Jamie, you'd realized that no other ex could ever compare to Jamie. Or the way he treated you ─ it was special, and that was how you knew you loved him.

He treated you with respect and kindness, something you had never experienced before. All your other relationships were anything but that ─ stupid, immature and childish men were the ones you were used to.

It had been a recent realization, though. You'd only been with Jamie for about 8 months ─ neither of you had ever said the special three words. But that doesn't mean you guys didn't feel it ─ he showed it through his actions.

Jamie was very observant person, he was good at picking up certain cues which made him insanely empathetic ─ something you had never experienced before. He not only showed empathy but also a remarkable level of understanding, a realization that dawned on you during your first "disagreement" with him.

──

You sat next to Jamie as you both watched the movie, feeling the familiar burning of jealousy swell in your stomach as you kept repeating the same scene in your head over and over again. Jamie giving one of his girl-friends a very tight and up-close hug, putting his arms around her like he did with you. You weren't even paying attention to the movie at that point, too preoccupied with the feeling that was currently sitting in your stomach like a bag of rocks.

Now you knew that Jamie wouldn't ever cheat or make you uncomfortable ─ he did it subconsciously which somehow made it worse because you couldn't logically get jealous over something that wasn't intentional.

You made an effort to conceal your jealousy by diverting your attention to the movie playing, but you were lost in your own thoughts.

When the movie paused, you were finally drawn out of your thoughts as you turned to face Jamie.

He sighed and put the remote down, turning to face you completely. "What's wrong?"

You forced out a smile, "Nothing, just tried. Let's just finish the movie."

Jamie kept staring into your eyes, furrowing his eyebrows. "You're not tired, what's wrong? Really?"

You felt your stomach twist in irritation. How didn't he know? Your face turned to an annoyed expression like a switch. "I said nothing Jamie, so just drop it."

Your angry words lingered in the now, tense, atmosphere as you both stared into each other's eyes. Jamie slightly flinched at your unusual outburst.

Nevertheless, he continued. Jamie was nothing if not persistent, you'd noticed. "Y/N, just tell me what's wrong so we can fix this ─ I hate this."

The slight hurt in his voice made everything switch again. The anger turned into guilt just as quickly and you realized that you were being the toxic one now. Jamie wasn't your ex, Jamie was himself and that was why this was working.

You hated this feeling as you took a deep breathe, diverting your gaze back to the screen so that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable under his watch. "I'm not sure..."

Jamie finally exhaled, putting his hand on top of yours. "There's obviously something wrong." He said softly, "Tell me so I can fix it, baby."

The sweet pet-name rolled off his tongue so softly, it made your heart swell and you were hit with a sense of comfort from his tender touch.

You exhaled deeply before returning your gaze back to him. "You hugged Emma too close the other night, I... I didn't like it. But I don't want you to feel suffocated or anything, if this is just me overthinking just tell me so I can just shut up about it─"

"Y/N, you're not suffocating me." He chuckled out in disbelief of your words. He held your hand tighter and sighed before nodding. "If you're uncomfortable with me hugging other girls, I don't want to make you feel bad so I can stop, baby. I'm sorry, I was just doing it out of habit."

You felt guilty almost instantly. "No, no. It's fine, it's not your fault, honestly. It was just because it was so close."

Jamie gave you a small smile. "Baby, I don't wanna touch anyone expect you, I don't care. Even if it makes you feel the tiniest bit upset, I won't do it. Trust me, it's not like it's an inconvenience."

The validation was a new feeling you'd never felt in any other relationship. It felt like a breath of fresh air ─ it was the best feeling ever. But you still felt a tiny bit guilty, were you being controlling?

It was like Jamie was reading your mind. Before you could reply, he continued. "You aren't being controlling, baby ─ you just communicated what you were feeling and I'm just agreeing with you. It's my own decision. You're right, if you hugged another boy like the way I did with Emma, I would've mad too."

The new feeling grew in your stomach and you felt so happy. A smile was plastered on your face as you squeezed his hand. You let out a deep exhale. "Thank you, for understanding."

"You're welcome, baby. But don't thank me for being a decent boyfriend, it's the least I could do." Jamie smiled as he pulled you closer to his chest. "How could I ever want any other person's touch when I have yours?"

You laughed at the cheesy statement, Jamie joining in a few seconds after. "Yeah, me too Jamie."

──

Jamie always showed his love in different ways. He was not a fan of too much PDA ─ he's a believer of privacy. He hates when other people are somehow involved in your relationship, he kept everything between you two because he knew it wouldn't end well if other people put their opinions on your relationship.

Jamie showed his love by doing the small stuff. Jamie was very observant and he knows everything you liked, and he would go out of his way to make sure to make you feel seen. For example, he knows that you weren't good on caffeine so he made sure to buy decaf coffee and herbal tea.

During the off-season, Jamie would still wake up before you and he would make your drinks. He knew you liked iced tea so he would make sure to put the drink in the fridge so you wouldn't have to wait. That was just one of the many things that Jamie does for you to show he cares.

──

You awoke softly, stretching in the warm bed before the dread sat in. You looked next to you ─ Jamie was already gone. You'd thought that his flight would be later in the day but you remembered it was 5 am.

You sighed softly and shook away the disappointment. You missed him ─ he had just flew back in a few days ago and even then, you'd only spent the nights together because he was busy. You understood but you couldn't help but feel a little dejected.

You got up to the bathroom and did your morning routine before walking into the empty living room before the kitchen. You opened the refrigerator door and saw your daily herbal tea which made you crack a small smile. You also saw a small sticky-note on the cup.

You picked it up and read it with a grin.

Sorry I had to leave early this morning. Made you some lemongrass and lavender tea, your favorite. Enjoy, baby.

Love, J P.S check the coffee table

Your heart swelled at the sweet words. You were slightly confused at the last statement and you put down your tea on the island before walking to the coffee table.

In the middle, sat a pink letter with a sticky note on top that says "This one". You giggled to yourself, you knew you could get confused. You picked it up and ripped it open.

There were two things ─ a note and a few tickets. You were confused as you read the note first.

Pack your bags and plan your outfits, we are going to see Taylor Swift in a week. I'll see you then.

Love, J

──

Neither of you had ever said the three of the most special words. The declaration of love had never been said by neither of you. You never needed to hear it ─ you already knew it.

He did things for you and so did you, you never needed to hear it to know it's true. Actions were stronger than words to both of you.

──

You two both stood in the kitchen, listening to some music as you made dinner. This was the first weekend Jamie had finally been free and you both decided a date night would be good for you two. You'd be lying if you said that his schedule didn't put a strain in your relationship but you both promised that a date night whenever he was free would help.

And it worked ─ you both listened to favorite artists as you made the pasta and he made the salad, updating each other on each other's lives. You spoke so freely, informing him on everything that was going in your head and so did he, telling you about all the drama that was going on in his friend-group and team.

"─And then we all just stood there, trying to figure out what to say to the poor girl." He laughed as he cut out the vegetables for your salad. "Then she left and keyed his new Range Rover."

The last part made you dial back, looking back in disbelief. "What? All because she thought they were dating?"

He laughed even louder, you joining a few seconds after. "Yeah! He was so mad he didn't come to practice for the next two days."

"Crazy. But I don't blame her, he shouldn't have led her on." You added as you poured the sauce over the pasta, looking over to Jamie.

"Agreed, but his Range Rover? I mean, that must've been a fortune to fix."

"Shouldn't have led her on, then." You said as Jamie let out another small laugh as he poured the salad into the bowl, putting on the dining table.

You poured the pasta in the plates and put them on the table, all while Jamie poured some juice into cups and into them on the table. The two of you were always in sync ─ you never had to worry about him not getting his tasks done.

You both sat in the table, exhausted. "I'm so hungry." Jamie mumbled before taking a bite of the pasta.

"Yeah, me too."

His eyes sparkled as he devoured the meal, emitting an appreciative moan. "Oh my gosh, I missed this. This is so good. My god, I love you," he mumbled while continuing to eat, seemingly unaware of his inadvertent declaration of love.

A sudden hush fell between you, and he nervously gulped down his food, his gaze fixed on you. You both looked at one another, quietly. He cleared his throat and nervously swallowed another bite, his gaze fixed on you.

At that moment, a radiant smile adorned your face, casting a warm and playful glow. You couldn't resist a teasing inquiry, letting the question dance in your eyes as you leaned forward slightly. "You love me or my food?"

The question hung in the air, carrying with it a sense of lightheartedness. The intensity was suddenly all dropped as he grinned back. "Is that okay if I say both?"

"Yeah, of course baby." You replied, continuing eating slowly as the music played in the background. "Hey, Jamie?"

He gave you a mumble in response, too busy eating the pasta you made.

"I love you too."

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