#Jiang voice: ah I see you’re a man of culture as well

[hannahofathousanddays]

[gusu-emilu]

Wangxian: The Autumn Chrysanthemum

Post-Canon, Rated G, 1.5k - read on AO3

Background Info: The Chongyang Festival, or the Double Ninth Festival, is a lucky date for longevity, celebrated with customs such as climbing mountains and drinking chrysanthemum wine. The word for 'nine,' jiu, sounds like the word for 'long (time),' creating a link between the meanings.

* * *

Wei Ying raised the jar of liquor to his lips. The sweet, floral liquid swirled inside him, sending a rush of heat, then coolness through his chest. A small, sticky dribble slid down to his chin. He wiped it off.

“The chrysanthemum wine is good,” Wei Ying said. “Very rich.”

He turned to the man beside him. The sight of the gentle curves of his face, his tall, steady frame draped with light blue robes—this image filled Wei Ying with warmth that met the unique coolness of the flower’s liquor, the currents flowing into each other and relaxing his entire body.

He smiled. “Lan Zhan, do you remember the first time we shared a drink?”

Lan Zhan stirred a bit. His lashes lowered as he glanced toward Wei Ying’s feet, raised as their eyes met for a brief moment. Then he looked back out to the landscape stretching before them, a vast green valley beneath the mountain they had climbed, dots of the autumn’s scarlet and golden colors reflecting in his eyes.

“I remember that you used a talisman to coerce me.”

Wei Ying choked on the wine a bit, until his coughing melted into a syrupy chuckle. “Of all things you could’ve chosen to reminisce about, you had to pick that.” He drew in a breath of crisp air and sighed. “Why must you incriminate me so? Tell me that you secretly felt exhilarated by breaking the rules, or that you wished you had let me play with your headband, or that you liked calling me Wei-gege. Don’t leave me to say all the sappy memories myself.”

A flock of geese flew overhead, their wings stroking the morning sun and blending with the sound of the mountain breeze.

“All these things, I remember fondly,” Lan Zhan said.

“So do I.” Wei Ying swirled the jar of liquor, watched the pale, honey-colored liquid encircle itself. “You know, the Chongyang Festival is the only time I would drink chrysanthemum wine over Emperor’s Smile.” He shot a grin at Lan Zhan. “Otherwise, I would always prefer this one splendor I know from Gusu.”

The corners of Lan Zhan’s mouth crept upward. “Flattery will not bring you more to drink.”

“Aiya, you see right through me.” In one swift movement, he locked arms with Lan Zhan and nuzzled his cheek into Lan Zhan’s shoulder. Lan Zhan’s breath slowed, a comfortable swell against him. “I already have too much of one certain splendor from Gusu. Better not to have more.”

Lil’ Apple hummed quietly behind them. The donkey was tired after long months of wandering with Wei Ying, until finally meeting with Lan Zhan at the halfway point to Gusu. And actually, Wei Ying was tired too, for they had only returned from their travels a few days ago.

He sank deeper into Lan Zhan’s side.

“When I was traveling with Lil’ Apple, I kept dreaming about our days in the Cloud Recesses. I…I miss it. Back then. How we were all so young. Not even as old as A-Yuan is now.” He lifted the jar up to eye level and shook his head at it. “You know, I think this wine is making me a little too nostalgic.”

Lan Zhan’s arm softened in Wei Ying’s hold. “Chrysanthemum blooms in autumn when other blossoms are fading.” He tilted his chin up slightly, looking out over the trees changing colors in the valley. “Naturally, upon drinking, one would remember moments passed.”

“Mm, you’re right.” Wei Ying lifted his head from Lan Zhan’s shoulder to join him in admiring the scenery. “I shouldn’t forget the meaning of Chongyang, should I?”

“Jiu yue, jiu ri,” Lan Zhan said.

“The ninth day of the ninth month.” Wei Ying waved the jar farther out in front of them, lifting it higher, as if offering it to the valley. He called out loudly like a proclamation. “Two nines—two jiu’s—two long times—just like the two long lives we will share together!”

He smiled, his eyelids feeling heavier as he lowered the jar and leaned against Lan Zhan once more.

“I am happy you have returned,” Lan Zhan said, his voice quivering a bit, like a pond suddenly overcome with ripples at the final entrance of a skipping stone. “Wherever your future takes you, I am happy for it.”

Lan Zhan had never been one to repeat himself. But this sentiment, he had said more than once in the days since Wei Ying returned from his travels, always with that slight tone of turbulence. Listening to these words might have done more to move the soul than drinking chrysanthemum wine.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying chided. “My future takes me to you, and nowhere else.”

A warm stillness spread through them, passing from one man to the other through their intertwined arms.

“You’ll have to help me with that, though,” Wei Ying added. “I need to build up Mo Xuanyu’s golden core so I can cultivate to immortality with you.” He chuckled. “Who would’ve thought that after everything, I’d wind up as a student at the Cloud Recesses yet again?”

Lan Zhan’s bangs blew in the breeze, waving gently over his cheeks. “At last, you come back to Gusu with me.”

Comfort bubbled inside Wei Ying at those words. He let it fill the cavern of longing that time had dug deeper and deeper into him.

“I am. I am so, so glad to come back to Gusu with you.”

They watched the morning sun rise higher over the valley. A splotch of golden color from a small field of chrysanthemums lay below them, glowing brighter, almost caramelizing, as the sun’s rays strengthened.

“Have you heard of the poet Tao Yuanming?” Wei Ying asked.

“Tell me.”

Wei Ying paused, suspicious that Lan Zhan knew of the poet already and was just pretending. But perhaps he would be content to listen anyway.

“Well, he wrote a lot about the beauty of chrysanthemums. He appreciated their noble nature, their power for healing.” Wei Ying swirled the jar of wine again. “He was a lot like me, really.”

“You have written chrysanthemum poetry?” Lan Zhan said with a small smirk.

Wei Ying laughed sheepishly. “Ah, no, no, I haven’t. Sorry to disappoint.”

Lan Zhan gave him a fond look that said, I know. Continue.

“Okay, let’s see.” Wei Ying stroked his chin, making a show of thoughtfulness. “As Tao Yuanming was growing up, he was surrounded by hardship. Clans were fighting with each other, overthrowing each other, wreaking violence and betrayal at every turn.

“He joined the civil service to help his people, but all he met was hypocrisy. Scheming, thievery, wars.

“Then, his sister died.”

Lan Zhan’s frame grew tense, as did Wei Ying’s own body.

“The death of his sister was too much for him, and the government officials had only ever abused his good intentions, so he decided to flee public life. He went to the countryside to become a meager farmer, and started a new family.

“Generals came by and asked him to rejoin the civil service, but he refused. He could not compromise his principles by returning to that world. Instead, he lived in poverty, for the single richness in his life was the ability to admire nature and write of its beauties.

“Sometimes he felt lonely.”

Wei Ying breathed in the mountain air, along with the calming scent of tea leaves and pine. This scent usually filled the Cloud Recesses, but now it hung from Lan Zhan beside him, steadying him.

“However, there was a visitor who would come to Tao Yuanming’s farm. This visitor would bring him liquor, and simply sit with him, enjoying his company.”

The faint surface of a low wooden table seemed to grow in the space between them, the chatter of guests at a restaurant, the sting of spicy peppers on soft tongues, the crinkling sound of A-Yuan playing with a toy butterfly.

“So Tao Yuanming grew fond of liquor, and he drank it in front of the chrysanthemum blossoms. He found peace and gratitude where one would have thought he had nothing.”

Having concluded the story, Wei Ying looked to his side.

After a long silence, Lan Zhan said, “In these things there lies a deep meaning. Yet when we would express it, words suddenly fail us.”

“Wow!” Wei Ying’s eyes widened, and a grin spread across his face. “So profound! You should be a poet like Tao Yuanming, Lan Zhan.”

A terse, barely-audible huff escaped Lan Zhan. “You speak highly of the artist, yet do not recognize his words.”

“That’s Tao Yuanming’s poetry?”

Lan Zhan’s only answer was to gaze back onto the sunny valley, an air of amusement floating in the breeze around him.

“Oh, well. I suppose that’s what I get for trying to impress you.” Wei Ying took another sip of liquor, felt its heat and coolness rush through him.

“Here, you can have the last bit.” He held the jar up to Lan Zhan’s lips. “Hanguang-Jun should drink the chrysanthemum wine of the Chongyang Festival, so he has a long life with me.”

Lan Zhan’s eyes twinkled, the same golden color as the wine.

Wei Ying tipped the jar of wine between Lan Zhan’s lips. Then he placed his own lips on Lan Zhan’s to savor the chrysanthemums a little longer.

* * *

What is there I can do to assuage this mood? Only enjoy myself drinking my unstrained wine. I do not know about a thousand years, Rather let me make this morning last forever.

-Tao Yuanming, "Written on the Ninth Day of the Ninth Month"

* * *

If you enjoyed this story, you can be a supportive sibling like Jiang Yanli by visiting me on AO3!

I am not of Chinese descent, so feel free to inform me of any cultural missteps.

[smiting-finger]

Bin AU Headcanons

Part II of the (〃ω〃) 500 followers! unwritten-headcanon amnesty (some given in response to AO3 comment questions, and others given unsolicited, lol), this time for Out of the Bin and Into Your Heart and from me to you, my heart to yours

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian

Pre-Wei Wuxian’s first arrest, Lan Wangji was quietly volunteering as general legal aid (helping old migrants with their internet/other service contracts, helping women with their domestic violence paperwork), and then Wei Wuxian gets arrested at a protest and Lan Wangji is not there and he doesn’t know this area of law so he signs up to get involved with Activist Legal Support the next day.

Relatedly: Lan Wangji’s approach to helping Wei Wuxian has always been to turn up, do what needs to be done for Wei Wuxian to achieve his goals and then silently leave again. So when the two goobers eventually move in together (and are finally fully in each other’s space, and fully across each other’s movements), Wei Wuxian goes through a period of constant realisations like “Oh, Lan Zhan, you’re the one who’s been doing this? This as well?! THAT, TOO???”

Pre-fake dating, Lan Wangji knows that Wei Wuxian won’t keep any gifts given by secret admirers, but will shamelessly accept anything that Lan Wangji gives him outright as a friend (”friend”). He derives a petty satisfaction from that, and so has responded more than once to a gift-incident by giving Wei Wuxian a corresponding gift of his own:

So if he heard about the gift socks, he’d go out and get Wei Wuxian a pair of novelty There’s No Planet B! socks, which Wei Wuxian would naturally wear both immediately and proudly with his shortest pair of 4/5ths pants. (And Lan Wangji would stand next to him and somehow radiate smugness without making any change to his expression.)

Needless to say, Wei Wuxian has received a lot of Lan Wangji chocolate (chilli, fairtrade), lunches (homemade, nutritious) and other small items.

Wei Wuxian never even considers the possibility of not putting all his fake-dating eggs into the Lan Zhan basket. And also never stops to think about why that iss.

In re kungfu practice: when sparring against normal people, Lan Wangji does annoyed-leg-sweeps because of “I’ll bring you down every peg to the floor” reasons he’s too well-bred to voice. 

Past recipients of this treatment have included:

Wen Chao, 

Xue Yang at his most obnoxious

Jin Zixuan when gossip about his comments in re Jiang Yanli not being pretty or successful enough to date him (”I can’t believe my mum set me up with someone so mediocre”) is at its height.

This is pre-Wei Wuxian onstage-punch. That comes during the second round of gossip.

With Wei Wuxian (and only Wei Wuxian), however, it’s always leg sweeps and pinning, which is because of ... “irritation”.

The Phoenix Mountain Reserve photo has been Lan Wangji’s favourite shot of Wei Wuxian since it was made publicly available, but he couldn’t use it as a wallpaper for obvious reasons.

Then he agrees to the fake-dating, sees how far Wei Wuxian was going to take it and realised: chansu!

At some point during the fake-dating, Wei Wuxian escalates from the phone entry of Oppa to calling Lan Wangji “Oppa~!” in real life, and then from there to a full “Oppa! Saranghaeyo~!” with the arms-on-head love heart. 

After n iterations of this, Lan Zhan responds with a mirror arms-on-head love heart and a deadpan “Saranghaeyo.” with his face still like (• _ •) and it’s an instant, supereffective K.O. for Wei Wuxian.

Every so often, when another one of his romantic overtures has soared right over Wei Wuxian’s head, Lan Wangji considers Jin Zixuan’s over-the-top demonstrations of affection and thinks (bleakly) “...Jin Zixuan got a singing telegram. Must I also resort to a singing telegram? ; _ ; “

In re: the concert hip-hop number, shirtlessness is the goal all along:

A-Qing (who is also a troublemaker on Lan Qiren’s radar - as soon as he receives the form that says that she and Wei Wuxian will be working together, his spidey senses start tingling) has been constantly referencing it throughout all their practices like: 

“Well, because you’ll be shirtless, you’ll have to make sure to-”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea, totally do that, but remember that you’ll be shirtless too, so-”

Even Song Zichen and Xue Yang know about it and have been visibly bracing themselves for the dress (or undress, lul) rehearsal

Wei Wuxian has missed all of this because of his amazing tunnel vision.

Speaking of Song Zichen and Xue Yang, while they’re having their Moments:

Xiao Xingchen is swanning around like “But do you think the performance had artistic integrity? A-Qing, I’m a little worried that the choreography didn’t do full justice to the abilities of all our members! I hope they don’t think I’m hogging the limelight!”, taunting them with his half-nakedness while he earnestly tries to make sure that all the other dancers are comfortable and happy with the final arrangement

A-Qing fully notices the heart-eye beams shooting over from the wings (and fully notices the same heart-eye beams shooting over during various practices), briefly thinks about saying something to put the two losers out of their misery (because Xiao Xingchen is not the special level of oblivious that Wei Wuxian is), but then thinks ... nah.

During practice back-painting, Wei Wuxian is so focused on Not Looking that his mistimes his ~sexy stretch~ and gets it in precisely when Lan Wangji has turned his back to get the towel, so it really is all for nothing, RIP.

In the reprise back-painting session (and there definitely is one, what with Lan Wangji’s love for marking and the fact that Chinese calligraphers usually sign their name on their work), the levels of both shamelessness and trolling shoot through the roof on both sides:

Wei Wuxian suddenly feels the need to do a lot more whimpering and moaning, and his flinches of “surprise” and wriggling to “get comfortable” suddenly happen a lot more in the hip area than they did before.

Lan Wangji does a lot more touching of the skin he’s about to paint to “warn” Wei Wuxian that the brush is coming (do warnings have to be quite so ... lingering? Only Lan Wangji knows), discovers a sudden need for wrist-pinning to “hold Wei Wuxian still while he works” and his blowing on ink to get it dry suddenly gets a lot more ... sensual ...

Lan Wangji is the teacher that all his babies are always proposing to. They lOvE him with every inch of their tiny baby hearts, and after they get together, Wei Wuxian watches on with a knowing nod, like “My fam, I getcha. Gege will support you in expressing your feelings and we can ALL win!”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t know it, but he has a group of grannies and grandpas wringing their hands over his happiness, too: It’s all well and good that he’s seeing the Lan boy now, but when are they gonna get married, huh? HUH?! WHAT’S THE POINT OF SAVING THE PLANET IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA FILL IT WITH BABIES, WEI WUXIAN???

So once they officially start dating, Wei Wuxian steps into the Cultural Centre like “Ah, our fresh new romance! Even after all this time of fake-dating, I’d better give people some transition time to get used to this new state of affairs!”

And in the background, 73 aunties and grannies are thinking “Look how behind schedule you are, Wei Wuxian!” (because it’s definitely his fault, and not Lan Wangji’s). “Where are the babies? WHERE ARE THE BABIES??”

The wedding advice Wei Wuxian got from the grannies during Mianmian’s wedding prep is liberally flavoured with real life anecdotes like:

“Don’t be like XX’s son. He made the mistake of trying to skimp on the dowry - so disrespectful to people who’ve poured so much love and energy into raising a daughter - and it poisoned the entire relationship.”

“That venue is no good - YY’s daughter had her reception there, and we all had diarrhoea after eating the prawns.”

(And Wei Wuxian is like: “How can you retain all of this bullshit detail about every wedding the Cultural Society has ever witnessed, but still not know how to say the phrase ‘Excuse me, what time is the bus coming’ in English?!”)

Mianmian definitely also gets strong-armed by her excited mother into some glorious(ly terrible) Chinese-style studio wedding photos (with industrial-strength airbrushing and wedding costume changes that span many cultures and many Chinese time periods).

Mianmian swears to never let Wei Wuxian get his grubby hands on that album, on pain of death.

But then her parents host something, and Wei Wuxian goes, and right there, hanging in their living room, is a floor-to-ceiling calendar, featuring Mianmian and Mian-man dressed as Chinese emperor and empress (because Mianmian certainly didn’t want it in her house, but it came with the package.)

Wei Wuxian makes a noise that Mianmian previously thought only dolphins could produce, and proceeds to take SO MANY photos with his phone.

At some point after Mianmian’s wedding, Lan Wangji comes out of the shower to find:

1 pair of pyjama bottoms waiting for him on the bed; and

Wei Wuxian in the corresponding top (which doesn’t cover his butt after all, but whatever, he’s committed), shooting him a double-thumbs up and wearing an expression like 8D!

(And Lan Wangji decides it’s not worth fighting and just goes with it.)

Lan Qiren

Lan Qiren is totally the kind of parent who never boasts about his children directly, but will listen politely to you telling him about how your son scored 86 in his maths examination, and wait for you to obligation-ask about his kids before casually saying, “Oh, Wangji? He scored full marks” and smiling thinly.

He’ll add “Sounds like your son worked really hard” for extra fuck you value if you were being particularly obnoxious.

The greatest tragedy in his parenting life is realising that if your children are The Best, it’s only possible for them to marry down.

His initial feelings regarding Wei Wuxian dating his nephew can probably be summed up as: “Wei Wuxian, I did not lovingly raise my precious Lan Wangji just to give him to you!!!” 

(The problem is that his nephew (inexplicably) likes Wei Wuxian so much, mumblegrumble.)

For weeks after The Resentment of Lan Qiren, every time Lan Qiren sees Wen Ning, he shakes his head sadly to himself and mutters “What a shame, what a shame.”

When Wen Ning responds with a slightly panicked “?!”, Lan Qiren just pats him on the shoulder, like, “No, no, it’s not you. We can’t choose our relatives. And isn’t that the greatest shame in the world?” - and then DOESN’T EXPLAIN ANYTHING.

And after many bouts of thinking and rethinking still lead him to the conclusion that Wei Wuxian is the best choice in comparison to all the other available options, Lan Qiren may or may not visit Cangse Sanren’s grave to burn some incense for an excuse to stand there and offer a sullen, “You fukken got me again, you bastard. I can’t believe you.”

He doesn’t know who he hates more:

Wei Wuxian for being himself and yet still the best choice

Cangse Sanren for not letting being dead stop her from continuing to be a thorn in Lan Qiren’s side

Wen Ruohan for being undesirable enough to disqualify the only valid competitor

The other parents for failing to produce children who are better than Wei Wuxian 

(Like: Surely it can’t be that hard if he (+ his brother + his sister-in law) managed to produce two)

So he settles for hating everyone.

For his next birthday, Lan Xichen sends him a box of blood-pressure-lowering supplements.

Lan Qiren is like “!!!” but he still takes them because just because his nephew is being impudent does not mean there is not also a Need.

In re 3zun:

Lan Qiren goes around determinedly Not Thinking about Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao. Every time his eyes approach something he doesn’t want to see, he just turns his head like NOPE.

He eventually realises that he and Wei Wuxian have this in common and that Wei Wuxian is therefore his most valuable ally - both in terms of having someone to pivot to and have very loud, very enthusiastic conversations about anything else whenever the 3zun do something they don’t want to see, and also having someone to commiserate with about Not Wanting to Know. (But because they’re them, they alternate between teaming up for self-preservation and using their mutual weakness to take petty jabs at each other.)

"-If two of them are dating, then where does that leave the third one?!"

"RIGHT? Imagine finding out that they were silently pining away, forced to third-wheel for their unrequited love and best friend - unrequited LOVES AND BEST FRIENDS? What would you say to that?!"

"That's not even considering which one the third wheel would be - I honestly don't know which option would be the worst, they're all terrible."

"I'm almost ready to say that I'd rather they all be dating each other, except then I'd have to think about how that would work, dynamic-wise, like - who calls the shots? Do you think Nie Mingjue is domineering all the time, or do you think it’s a public front, and he then goes home to be dominated by-"

“STOP.”

Even before 3zun get together (both Lan Qiren and Wei Wuxian have chosen to Never Know when this is), Jin Guangyao is throwing out suggestive comments left and right and then immediately whipping out his (◔◡◔✿) face for anyone’s double-take:

50% to test the waters of public sentiment before he makes a move and it actually becomes his problem

50% because he’s a troll who likes dominance displays

Knowing this factoid, one of Wei Wuxian’s mental 3zun Dynamics possibilities features Superdom!Jin Guangyao, but he does his best to avoid thinking about that.

After Lan Qiren mentally accepts Wei Wuxian into the fold:

He still internally responds to at least 50% of the things that Wei Wuxian does with “Why, that little shit”, but it’s also implied that Wei Wuxian is their little shit now.

And for Lan Family! Qiren, this means: If you shit on him, WE shit on you.

“Shufu” 

Lan Qiren definitely Notices when Wei Wuxian calls him that, but it Doesn’t Do to make a fuss.

He probably has a conversation with Lan Xichen sometime around the first family dinner that goes:

LQR: You've noticed that he's still calling me 'Uncle Qiren' like we're nothing to each other.

LXC: ...If you want him to call you Shufu, should you perhaps not mention that to him?

LQR: What? No, he should already know these things!

And then after the wedding:

LQR: Your brother's boyfriend is finally acting like one of the family. LXC: Haha, oh my.

Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan

Although their mothers have been friends for ages, Jin Zixuan grows up in a different city, so they don't see each other growing up. The Jins later move for Jin Zixuan's high-flying corporate job, Madam Jin joins the Culture Society at her friend's behest and immediately falls in love with Jiang Yanli as a daughter-in-law. 

After a lot of cajoling (in both directions), she gets them to agree to one date, which is a disaster (I have more headcanons about this but they won't fit in here) 

Jin Zixuan has a lot of money and zero sense of proportion, which does not generally result in tasteful things. (Where Jiang Yanli is concerned, his desire to keep up a "cool" image is completely overpowered by his desire to please, so that doesn't help either. Like a golden retriever who wants people to think he's a cat.) 

After they get married, Wei Wuxian sometimes thinks about the peacock's peacocking rituals, like: "It's good that he's gotten more reasonable now that they're married - no, wait, what if he hasn't gotten more reasonable, but there's just no one around to see it because they're married?!" and never gets brave enough to ask his sister about it. 

After Jin Ling's birth, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng (and maybe even Jin Zixuan) get locked in an ongoing battle for Jin Ling's affections. Jiang Yanli is the clear favourite, as she should be, but they all want to be #2, and their constant jostling is how he ends up with no chill despite being raised by one calm mum and one aloof (but secretly disaster) dad

But because Jiang Yanli is around, he's very polite about it: the kind of kid who barrels in screaming blue murder, skids to a halt and says "Auntie", and then tears out screaming blue murder again

Wei Wuxian tones it down a lot after he and Lan Wangji adopt A-Yuan because he’s got better things to do, but it’s still A Thing (during visits, A-Yuan spends a lot of time in Auntie Yanli’s lap being gently fed things while his dad and shushu yell at each other over the top of his cousin’s head)

Lan Xichen and Jiang Yanli

Initially brought together by their brothers, they now meet up for regular, peaceful, wholesome tea-dates where they discuss the lives of their mutuals and gently exchange advice (and strategies on how to keep their angry-angry parent/proxy-parent's blood pressure down.

Whereas Jiang Cheng gets closer to coughing up blood with every year that passes by without Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji getting their shit together, Lan Xichen and Jiang Yanli take the more optimistic view of "Look at how well-prepared we are, we've just run another year ahead of schedule!"

Dinner Crew

Jiang Cheng has been the unwilling audience to years of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s bullshit. 

If asked, he would say: “And you wonder why I’m so angry?! What do you mean ‘dating’, you’ve been fucking married for the last five years!” but no one ever does :’D

Every so often, he thinks about how happy their sister is about the dating situation because she doesn’t know that it’s fake, and he grinds his teeth because why can’t he also not-know!?

To this, Nie Huaisang says, “If we didn’t know we couldn’t help!”

And Jiang Cheng replies, “WE’RE NOT HELPING ANYWAY, LOOK AT HIM!!!”

Meanwhile, Jiang Yanli continues to gush about how happy she is for Wei Wuxian and all Jiang Cheng can do is laugh really unnaturally because he has to “Be strong, Jiang Cheng! Be strong for A-jie! ╥﹏╥”

He goes to read the comments on the Society Facebook after the fujoshi conversation, and gets so angry at all these people who are like “Ah, their love is so beautiful!” that he has to uninstall his Facebook app, and go and shout into a cupboard somewhere.

The non-Wei-Wuxian members of the dinner group have set up a separate chat to act as a support group, where they all go to:

Wail and gnash their teeth after Wei Wuxian does something particularly dumb

Scheme ways into getting Wei Wuxian to get a clue

Console one another when someone’s brave attempt at getting Wei Wuxian to face the truth fails miserably (because while they play by the rules of ‘what a normal human would do’, Wei Wuxian lives by the principle of ‘lol norms are for losers’.)

Relatedly: for every resigned Nie Huaisang face or enraged Jiang Cheng face that Wei Wuxian notices, there are at least three desperate-yet-silent exchanges that he doesn’t. 

Wen Ning is always really optimistic about it, nodding encouragingly like “He’s gonna get it - he’s gonna get it! - oh no, he’s not gonna get it. Oh. Oh no. Ó╭╮Ò”

Wen Ning always has at least one small child hanging off him at all times when he’s at the Cultural Centre because they know he can always be bullied into playing with them and they think he’s great.

Past bullshit dinner group projects have included Getting Jiang Cheng a Date and Making a Picture out of Jin Guangyao’s Forehead Dot While He’s Sleeping

(In re the forehead dot, they end up settling for making it bigger every time he nods off during a movie night at Nie Huaisang’s house, and Nie Mingjue comes home to what’s basically a Japanese flag on Jin Guangyao’s forehead and is like ಠ_ಠ)

Future dinner group projects include providing Wei Wuxian with support for Grand Plans like Getting Along with Uncle Qiren and providing Jiang Cheng with unwanted support for things like Workshopping Jiang Cheng’s List of Partner Requirements

A-Yuan

After A-Yuan’s adoption, Wei Wuxian and Lan Qiren redouble their efforts in Can we divorce an in-law?! because although they couldn’t save themselves from being related to Jin Guangyao, for their PRECIOUS BOY--

Therefore, when A-Yuan is five or six and starts to sound out how he’s related to people and why:

A-Yuan: So if Jin-yeye is Uncle Guangyao’s dad, then that makes him my-

Wei Wuxian: NOTHING!

Lan Qiren (springing up from the other side of the room): NOTHING!

Lan Xichen: lol

At around about this same time, Wei Wuxian, who is never gonna stop trolling Lan Qiren about ruzhui until the day he dies, runs A-Yuan through the “You see, my son, my family is not so well-to-do, and since your Uncle married into the Nie family-” talk, and then proceeds to reference it at every opportunity:

1: Despite A-Yuan almost certainly not asking, and

2: despite (/especially because of) Lan Qiren shouting “DON’T TEACH HIM WEIRD THINGS!” in the background.

(Lan Wangji probably lets it happen or encourages it because he thinks it’s funny)

[ibijau]

How would nhs react to a deage teenager!lxc after canon or lxc knew nhs as a student and next time he see nhs is a aldult.

this... kinda got out of hand wow. Thanks for the prompt!! it was a lot of fun!

Of course Nie Huaisang, like everyone else, knows that Lan Xichen has entered seclusion and won’t see anyone. After what happened, the shock of being lied to and manipulated for years culminating in nearly killing the person he thought was his last true friend left... If he’s honest, Nie Huaisang too finds isolation tempting, but sadly it isn’t part of Qinghe Nie’s culture the way it is in Gusu Lan, and so he must power through.

Still, Lan Xichen’s seclusion feels like a technicality that doesn’t concern him. After everything, when Nie Huaisang comes to the Cloud Recesses for business, he decides to take the chance to visit the man who tried to be his friend, in spite of everything Nie Huaisang is, everything he pretended to be. They have much to talk about. It is selfish of Nie Huaisang, but he misses Lan Xichen. Besides, the jade token that Lan Xichen gave him years ago is still active, so surely it must mean that a visit from him isn't entirely unexpected. Nie Huaisang heard that Jin Guangyao's token was rendered inert after the slight scandal in Carp Tower. Apparently, he's still a step higher than that. It's a comforting feeling.

And so, once his business with Lan Qiren is dealt with, Nie Huaisang doesn't go to the room prepared for him and his retinue. Instead he heads for the Hanshi. The path is familiar, Nie Huaisang doesn't have to pay attention as his feet carry him to his brother's sworn brother's house. A mix of fear and anticipation make him walk slower and faster in turn. In front of the Hanshi's door, Nie Huaisang pauses for a moment. It might be presomptuous of him to be here, after the way things went at the temple. Lan Xichen seemed broken then, in a way even the horrors of the Sunshot campaign hadn't managed. To come here like this, unnanounced... but they both need this, Nie Huaisang decides. He owes Lan Xichen an explanation, and hopefully Lan Xichen will apologise as well for his own failures. They both could have done better, but this might be a chance for a clean start.

It would be nice if they could be friends, for real this time. No pretences, no Jin Guangyao, just the two of them getting along, openly and honestly.

Nie Huaisang knocks on the door.

Unexpectedly fast, he can hear footsteps on the other side, and the door opens before he fully has time to steel himself for the confrontation.

“Oh, you're not Uncle,” the young man who opened says. (but is he a man? He can't be more than sixteen or seventeen). “I did think it was still early.”

Nie Huaisang stares, and refuses to believe what he's seeing. The boy in front of him isn't much taller than him, though he will certainly continue growing in the coming years. He is elegant and calm, but still youthful, still with a touch of uncertainty that grows more pronounced the longer Nie Huaisang gapes at him.

“Do I know you?” the boy asks at last. “You seem familiar but... ah! Did uncle send you?”

“Not exactly. I'm Nie Huaisang. I'm... you are...”

The boy presses a hand against his mouth as he laughs.

“Nie Huaisang? You mean, Mingjue's little brother? Oh, you've grown quite a bit!”

That's not exactly true. In fact, coming from anyone else, Nie Huaisang would take that as a lie at best, a mocking attack at worst. But this boy... if this boy is who he seems to be, if his mind fits his appearance, he would remember Nie Huaisang a good deal shorter.

“Er-ge... I mean, Lan Xichen? Is that you?”

The boy drops his hand and nods with an apologetic smile.

“I'm not really supposed to talk about it,” he explains. “I'm not even supposed to let anyone see me until we find a solution, but... oh, if it's Nie er-gongzi, it's fine. But please, come in. I'm really not supposed to have visitors.”

Entranced, Nie Huaisang can only obey and follows this too young Lan Xichen into the Hanshi. The house hasn't changed much since his last visit, many months before. The only difference is its inhabitant, smiling brightly, as if he doesn't have a care in the world. Nie Huaisang doesn't think he had seen such a sincere smile on Lan Xichen's face since the Sunshot Campaign.

“Would you like some tea?” Lan Xichen asks, ever the perfect host. “I was going to make some for myself, so it's really no bother.”

“I... yes, certainly.”

“Please, sit down, Nie er-gongzi. Nie-xiong? What should I call you? I can remember calling you Huaisang, but I wouldn't want to disrespect you, so...”

“You still call me by my name,” Nie Huaisang assures him, which isn't a lie. It was still true last time they met. He isn't sure if it would still be true, had he faced a full grown man instead of a boy, but there's little point in debating this now. “I don't mind if you continue doing so. It would be very awkward for me if you tried to treat me as an elder.”

Lan Xichen smiles again, and puts some water to boil. Without waiting to be invited, Nie Huaisang sits at the table. It could almost feel like nothing has changed, as long as he doesn't look too closely at the person preparing their tea.

“Dare I ask what happen to you, Lan Xichen?”

“Please, just... just Xichen? Or are you this formal with me now?” Lan Xichen asks, shooting him a worried look.

“I've never been one for formality,” Nie Huaisang replies. “Are you avoiding my question, Xichen?”

Again, the boy laughs. Nie Huaisang suddenly realises that just like his smiles, Lan Xichen's laughters hadn't been so free in years. He had never thought to miss that, but he does now.

Once the water is hot, Lan Xichen pours it in a teapot which he brings to the table, sitting down at last while the leaves infuse.

“I wish I could tell you what happened, Huaisang,” he confesses with mild embarrassment. “But I simply do not know. Uncle think it is an accident of some sort. He told me that certain regrettable events had made me unwell. He won't tell me more than that.”

There are dozens of unspoken questions in Lan Xichen's eyes, all of which Nie Huaisang pretends he cannot notice. Instead he checks the teapot and serves tea for both of them.

“It must be quite upsetting to you,” Nie Huaisang says. “What's the most recent thing you remember?”

“Some new guest disciples had just arrived a few days ago. Very prestigious ones this year, since there were the sons of Sect Leader Jin and Sect Leader Jiang... and you were returning as well, of course. It was promising to be an interesting year. One of the guests had already gotten in trouble and duelled my brother. I tried asking, but Uncle wouldn't tell me what became of that boy. His name was Wei Wuxian, do you perhaps remember him?”

Nie Huaisang snorts, most inelegantly, and hesitates how much he can tell on that matter. In the end, he decides the latest piece of gossip that reached him can be shared safely.

“Lan Wangji recently married him.”

He hopes, perhaps a little cruelly, to shock Lan Xichen, or at least to surprise him. Instead, the boy beams.

“I knew that Wangji liked him!” he exclaims, before pressing a hand to his mouth as he realises how loud he was. “Sorry for this. Oh, but I'm so glad! It's so rare for Wangji to take a shine to someone... I'm so happy for him!”

Nie Huaisang tries to smile, and fails. He remembers how upset Lan Xichen was over his brother's choice in the years that followed Wei Wuxian's death, his resentment that he still couldn't shake in that temple after Wei Wuxian finally opened his eyes to Lan Wangji's feelings.

He had never realised how bitter Lan Xichen had become. He did not let him consume him, not the way Nie Huaisang had, but... it's odd to think they might have been similar in that respect.

“Huaisang, if I may ask... since you seem well informed on my family, would you tell me what happened to me?” Lan Xichen asks, fidgeting with his cup of tea. “As I've told you, Uncle won't say a thing but... you say we still call each other by name, after this long, and you came to see me uninvited. Am I right to assume we must be friends?”

There's something so hopeful to that boy's voice, as if it would really make him happy to hear they are close. They weren't back then, not especially. Nie Huaisang admired his brother's friend, but found Lan Xichen too serious to really pay him attention, especially when there were people like Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng to play with instead. He had no idea how Lan Xichen saw him at that time, but apparently he had a better opinion of Nie Huaisang than expected.

It should be flattering.

It is not.

Nie Huaisang looks at that hopeful boy, one whose father is in seclusion but still alive, whose brother has poor taste in men but no scars on his back yet, who is too serious for his age but doesn't bear the burden of running a sect before his time, who hasn't yet felt the horrors of wars, of watching both of his friends die before his eyes, viciously killing each other. Most of what happened to Lan Xichen isn't his fault, but Nie Huaisang still feels guilty.

It is unbearable to see Lan Xichen so innocent.

“I'm not sure I'm the right person to tell you,” Nie Huaisang mumbles, avoiding Lan Xichen's eyes. “It was... a lot happened. It might be best to leave it at that.”

“But you do know,” Lan Xichen insists. “Uncle says he doesn't know the details anyway, that he cannot tell me something he's not certain of. But you know.”

“And I'm glad you don't. What happened... if you can live without remembering, without being told about it, perhaps it's for the best.”

This, at last, bring a crack into Lan Xichen's warmth. Nie Huaisang hates himself for it when he sees the slight frown on the boy's face, hates that this is an expression that he's far more used to seeing on Lan Xichen's face.

“Is it really that bad, Huaisang?”

“I don't know what you're imagining but... it's at least as bad as that, and possibly worse.”

Lan Xichen's frown deepen.

“I see. Then... at least it confirms something I've suspected.”

“Which is?”

“This was not an accident,” Lan Xichen states, gesturing at himself. “I think I did this on purpose. I... The man I become, is he a coward then?”

Something squeezes in Nie Huaisang's chest, so tight and painful that it nearly makes him sick. He quickly shakes his head and, without thinking, reaches for Lan Xichen's hands.

“You are a brave man,” he promises. “You made mistakes, but only because you are kind and certain people took advantage. You are a good man, you tried your best to be fair, even when we all lied to you, and...”

“We?” Lan Xichen notes, pulling his hands away. “Did you lie to me as well, Huaisang?”

The pain in his voice is... they've gone through that once already at the temple. Nie Huaisang cannot do it again. The first time was hard when Lan Xichen knew already how cruel the world can be, but to do this again, to bear with this again and explain to this kind, innocent boy that he consistently put his trust in all the worst people is...

It was a mistake to come here.

“I have to go,” Nie Huaisang mutters, rising on unsteady feet.

“So you did lie,” Lan Xichen whispers, looking up at him, disappointment clear in his eyes. “Are... are we even friends, then?”

Nie Huaisang turns away.

“I had come to ask you the same question,” he confesses. “I wanted to know if it was too much to ask, after what I did to you. I'll never get my answer now, but perhaps it's for the best. You... you really grew into a good man, Lan Xichen. Out of all of us, I think you're the one who turned out best. But sometimes, being good isn't enough. Not when there are men like me around.”

“But you used to be good as well,” Lan Xichen retorts, his tone nearly whiny, like a child's. And why not? He's not so far from childhood still, no matter how much he tries to act like an adult. “You always were so nice, Huaisang. You always made me smile when we talked, you were always so honest! Why would you have started lying to me?”

The idea that he ever was honest is hilarious, so Nie Huaisang starts crying.

“There's no real reason,” he says, and that's a lie too, but at this point what's a little more? “People are never as good as you think they are, Xichen, especially when life get a little tough. I'm sorry I wasn't the friend you deserved. I really wanted to be, but sometimes... sometimes it's not enough to want it.”

Having said his piece, Nie Huaisang walks to the door, cursing himself for coming to the Hanshi, for giving in to curiosity when he saw this boy, for not leaving him to his fate. He is almost out when Lan Xichen speaks again.

“Do you really think we can't be friends then?” he asks, so young and eager and lost. It is awful to remember there was a time when Lan Xichen had the freedom of not needed to appear confident at all times, when he could hesitate, when he could be unsure.

“I think you can find better friends than me,” Nie Huaisang sighs, pretending it doesn't come as a sob. “Goodbye, Xichen, or farewell maybe. I don't think I'll be coming here again, not unless you get back to normal someday and invite me yourself.”

“I see. I'll hold you to that, Huaisang.”

Nie Huaisang laughs, or sobs, or both. If Lan Xichen ever gets back to the man he was before this incident, it's unlikely he will want anything to do with the traitor who tried to turn him into a murderer. It was stupid, really, to think that they might get a second chance.

Without another word, Nie Huaisang leaves the Hanshi and heads for the guest quarters, desperately trying to calm his tears.

It was a mistake to come here.

But of course, Nie Huaisang has always been good at making mistakes.