#Juno Steel? more like Juno steal

[glamiers]

Crying I just started the penumbra podcast and when people told me about the audio only kissing I didn’t think I’d be THIS BAD. Like three episodes in and in each one Juno steel is making out with another person, like can the rizzler calm down for one moment?

[ananxiousgenz]

okay okay okay wait i have just experienced A Thought

so it's been established that the title of the most recent juno steel eps comes from the coal miner song "sixteen tons", most notably covered by tennessee ernie ford. you can find it on youtube or spotify, but it's about the backbreaking labor and dangerous conditions these miners would go through for very little pay, and because of this, the most obvious reading is that this song title was chosen to be about nureyev working to keep slip alive for years only to discover that the dokana group was screwing him over.

but. what if the song title wasn't just in relation to nureyev but to slip as well?

stick with me for a minute here, because i've got some interesting thoughts about this.

the lyrics of the first verse focus on how the people in power think that the men working beneath them are just soulless lumps of dirt when in reality they are people made of "muscle and blood and skin and bones" who are purposefully under-educated ("a mind that's a-weak") so they can only do manual labor for a living ("and a back that's strong"). slip's intention with his drug formula was to give people an escape from reality. he wanted to help those people who could do nothing but work and wanted to flip off the pharma corps by making it easily affordable and non-addictive. the first verse is basically a summary of the motives that drove him to that game of rangian street poker with the executives that brought him where he is now.

the chorus is even more interesting.

yeah, you really could interpret this in relation to peter's quest for slip's resurrection, but it could also get connected to slip's dedication to creating this drug. peter flat out told us that slip put A LOT of work and testing into it and it wasn't just something that happened overnight. however, what specifically stands out to me here is the last two lines and the reference to st. peter. in sixteen tons part 2, slip basically gives peter permission to let him go (see this post from @smidgen-of-hotboy). if we're reading this from slip's pov, the song is just reiterating that message: peter can let slip go. he knew the risks he was taking by tangling with the executives and stealing from them so his soul is really the one that is owed "to the company store", which is why slip wouldn't want peter to "call him" (resurrect him) because he made the decisions and mistakes so he would want to be the one paying for them. every day that peter leaves him alive is just another day slip is getting older and not better. every day peter leaves slip alive is another day his debt is growing larger. for the sake of his own wellbeing, peter HAS to let slip go.

the rest of the verses are basically a summary of nureyev's story thus far (verse two being his new story being born as he starts working for the dokana group, verse three being his interactions with juno and leaving him at the end of season 4, and verse 4 being the absolute ass-kicking he's about to hand the dokana group) but with the chorus that is just chock-full of slip's voice getting repeated between those verses, it just almost feels like slip is begging to be let go but peter, being peter, won't listen. it's very interesting stuff.

[bamfwizard]

"Juno Steel? More like Juno STEAL!! Hahaha!!!"

*distant sound of smokebomb and police sirens*

[smidgen-of-hotboy]

I'm not the person who asked but 👁👁 may I inquire as to the spoilery season 5 problems

Understand that everything I'm about the say Under the Cut, comes from a place of bias. Bias that truly does love the Juno Steel storyline, bias that absolutely hates the plot direction Kabert took with the last two seasons

Slip Jackson. He is the plothole they wrote, the corner Kabert backed themselves into and had to write themselves out of. The one NO ONE ASKED FOR but they wrote in anyways to explain "this is what happened After Nureyev saved NK and killed Mag". I cannot stress enough how pissed off and annoyed Slappery Junkyard makes me from a plot standpoint.

Too many plot devices disguised as characters. Every other episode the listener and Juno is introduced to someone new. And every other episode they are forgotten about and we move on to the next. This is the equivalent I feel to early TMA and early WTNV monster of the week and even early TPP where Juno is solving one case after the next-

Only this time Juno's chasing after Nureyev across the fucking galaxy. I love Juno with all my heart, but it still is super annoying that all of season 5 is spent of him chasing after Nureyev, getting tripped up, chasing after Nureyev, getting tripped up, wash rinse repeat. Especially more annoying and upsetting when you factor in that Nureyev blatantly does not want to be followed (but me and every other listener is a fucking sucker for a hopeful fool and dramatic love story. If this happened to someone you actually knew, you wouldn't encourage or condone Juno's behavior, but because the Lady isn't real and it's all a work of fiction and Juno is the Hero, ofc we're all cheering him on)

Grandpappy's recipe. We're given a hint of worldbuilding to the rest of the galaxy, and Juno shows some appreciation towards Rita, but it is not her storyline. It is not Rita-centric. And the depiction of Nureyev in these couple of episodes (i don't know how anyone else felt) came so far out of left field for me, that I almost didn't believe what Juno and Rita were saying about him. Something along the lines of Nureyev is a con, and he sweet talks and seduces all of his targets into falling for him, before ultimately turning on them and stealing from their pockets. The Homme Fatale thing gets really pushed, and it's like everything discussed in Man in Glass never happened.

The amazing moment in Heart of it All when he reminds Buddy "a legend is a dead thing" (and by extension the discussion he had with her in Man in Glass) might as well never fucking happened. Peter goes the entirety of season 5 with his head so far up his own ass, he can't see past his own bullshit, until it's literally 10 minutes too late.

Nureyev is deliberately rude towards Juno (who did cross a boundary MULTIPLE TIMES) but is also extremely fucking dismissive of the Ruby7 being anything but a car (it's not, it's an alien from outside of this galaxy and Nureyev cannot accept that for some reason, but he can totally get behind reviving his long lost first love???)

OH AND RITA!!! POOR POOR FUCKING RITA OMG- Juno is a massive fuckin dick to her in Season 1, he promises to do better for her at end of Season 2, and she is the first Aurinko he rescues in Season 4 because he knows without her he won't be of much use. Rita is supposed to be Juno's backbone, but she's more like the brace he wears when he needs it. The Rita episode in Season 3 is framed as a good thing for her character and meant to be a confidence boost, but it's really not. And Season 4 I don't remember, but literally in Season 5 Rita is sidelined and put over on the bench because she "makes too many mistakes" on missions. Juno dresses it up as "You're our ace in the hole" but cmon. Come the fuck on.

[duckmewton]

Not a day goes by where I don’t think about THEIA corrupted Peter Nureyev

Imagine him trying to convince Juno that this truly is what’s best for everyone. Like:

Nureyev: We could be together again. You and me. No more running or hiding. No more pain. No more fear. We could do so much good together Juno Steel.

Juno (through tears probably): We already do Nureyev.

Imagine Juno desperately fighting against Nureyev while trying not to harm him. Nureyev is so much stronger than him and he doesn’t stand a chance when he can’t actually touch him.

Just as Nureyev has him pinned Juno kisses him they same way Nureyev kissed him on their first mission together.

And while Nureyev is distracted he handcuffs him. (Or steals the chip? Take your pick)

TPP fic writers I beg for you to use this concept.

[joona-fandom-mars]

Happy Juno Steel’s birthday! I give you Pokémon au where Benzaiten is still alive and they do killer double battles together.

They were given a gastly (Juno’s) and cleffa (Ben’s) when they were pretty young and so they have a super close bond with them. Their cleffa and gastly evolve at a similar time and down the road Ben and Juno plan to evolve them again (Juno would trade Ben haunter so he evolves to Gengar, then they trade back. And at a similar time Ben would give Clefairy a moon stone). But if I wanted to be tragic like the canon, Ben could’ve died before they could go through with that plan. And both Juno and haunter are to upset to through with the plan for YEARS. Maybe Juno keeps the moon stone on a necklace or something. Maybe Juno takes in Ben’s Pokémon after he dies? Maybe part of Juno’s healing that happens after season two is finally evolving haunter and clefairy. Anyways, for now I’ll just keep thinking about how they’d kill it at double battles

Also added the Pokémon teams of the rest of the Carte Blanche crew + Ben because I love them!! Gonna explain the teams because I’m insane

Juno:

Haunter - starter and is like the other side of the same coin with Ben’s clefairy (especially when they evolve into Gengar and Clefable)

Muk - Martian sewers

Trubbish - was trying so hard to find a weird bunny Pokémon to be Small Fry and if you squint hard enough that’s basically trubbish

Banette - Puppet Pokémon for when he was being puppeted by Ramses O’Flaherty

Ben:

Clefairy - starter, same coin blah blah

Steenee, Aromatisse, and Oricorio - Dance Pokémon for the ballet dancer! (Bonus points for Oricorio in its Sensu style because Benzaiten is a Japanese goddess and Sensu dance is from Japan)

Rita:

Rotom - Her ace because she uses it to hack into electronics

Morpeko - electric Pokémon that needs stacks to stay happy? Come on that’s SO Rita

Dedenne and Swirlix - Cuties she shares snacks with

Bewear and Electivire - she calls them the muscle but electivire accidentally knocked out some bug Pokémon from stepping on it and cried for a week and Bewear is to lazy to help with anything

Peter:

Absol - Angel of Brahma. Do I need to say more

Unfezant, Thievul, and Liepard - these bitches be wearing masks and will steal your goods while your not looking

Zoroark - Can transform into literally anything

Buddy:

Delphox - Buddy’s ace because DUH fire fox that’s so her!

Ninetales, Arcanine, Quilava, and Talonflame - Buddy is obvi a fire type trainer

Altaria - Fire type trainer with the exception of shiny Altaria because they are to elegant not to give Buddy and they’re shiny because it fits her color palette better. And Buddy is just enough extra to have a shiny

Optional, Beautifly - Buddy could replace one of her fire types with Beautifly and then Vespa could have Dustox so then it’s like butterfly and moth wives and also sun and moon wives (their last names mean sun (Aurinko) and moon (Ilkay)

Vespa:

Beedrill - Vespa means wasp and beedrill is basically a wasp

Ariados, Toxicroak, Yanmega, Barraskewda, and Bisharp - all of them a fast, pointy, and look like you can find them in a swamp, except for bisharp which is just fast and pointy

Jet:

Revavroom - the man LOVES cars. Plus revavroom can be something adjacent to the Ruby 7 (maybe Juno starts taking care of it after Carte Blanche crew splits up)

Mamoswine, Magnezone, Blastoise, and Rhyhorm - beefy guys that feel like Jet to me

YEAHEAYEAY anyways INFODUMP OVER, if you read all of this you get a medal ���. Congrats. May do side characters and villains at some point, but for now this is all you get :P

[keplercryptonomica]

rita gathers the aurinkos together to watch a stream one night—not uncommon, considering they’ve all (more or less) fallen into a rhythm of abiding by buddy’s “always, implicitly, as a family.” living on borrowed time is a phrase of the past, of course; a proper thief lives on stolen time. so, they suppose, all the more reason for the crime family to steal another moment to themselves. another uneventful night together before all they have are long stretches of days, eventful and alone, they also suppose—or, peter also supposes.

sure, peter ransom was able to admit to his near-sightedness surrounding the night of the nova zolotovna heist, his thick-headedness in thinking he can shoulder the big, mean world alone (the same trait he admired so instantly when it came to his dear, dear detective—stubbornness had always suited juno better than it had him, he admitted with similar ease). yes, peter ransom was able to admit a lot of things—but peter nureyev still thinks there was some truth in his feelings towards the future. the present is the thing that presses, he had said in the not-too-distant past, and oh, how he wishes he could register that as a comfort, rather than an ever-stifling platitude. “the future can wait indefinitely,” said with such nonchalant bravado that—one thing peter nureyev has no trouble admitting—it reminded him of that owl-eyed man he still can’t help but feel a fondness for. how could it not? even after all these years, he clung to the surname he came up with out of some childish need for comfort, a wry chuckle under his breath. if mag could see him now…

as for the fate of the future: for all peter nureyev knows, it may not even exist. the present is all there is. the stolen moment in wait, waiting for the next stolen moment, and the stolen moment after that. an endless, inescapable cycle peter “for future consideration” ransom may have felt comforted by, but one that sends a chill down nureyev’s spine more often than he’d care to admit. so: no future, no way out, no way to know how much of the present he’s experiencing is actually the present he’s experiencing and—“no one gets a say in stream choice, i’ve got it alllllll picked out”!

(more under the cut!!! heads up for juno steel and the next page (pt. 2) spoilers, xo)

rita’s shrill voice pulls the den of the carte blanche back into existence; vespa trying to position herself to sit taller on the couch so she can nonchalantly drape her arm around her fiancée, and jet positioned just so with a large bowl of snacks (it used to never leave rita’s grip, but after one too many spills during the scarier streams, she now settles for grabbing handfuls of salmon-flavored dusty crunchies from a friendly lap).

an outstretched finger prods the apple of peter’s cheek. “you ready?,” juno asks—he’s wearing one of those classic steel half-smiles, though this one is interrupted by a barely noticeable flicker of concern. 

nureyev notices, though. that’s the thing about the two of them, he thinks, always reading each other to the quick of their core—even when the other would prefer them not to. even when it’s incredibly embarrassing for your paramour to border on pausing family stream night just to make sure you’re okay; embarrassing and endearing, in equal parts. “always, my love,” nureyev nods (swallowing thickly, jealous of ransom’s overconfident self-convincing). he plucks juno’s index finger, still hovering in midair next to nureyev’s face, and pulls the calloused hand it belongs to into his own smooth palm. a flash of teeth peek out from behind the detective’s upturned lips, easier than ever to fluster him. 

juno really has been like this since they arrived on the carte blanche: the same headstrong lady that nureyev once offered his name to upon first meeting, just softer around the edges. he likes him like this, he thinks. he likes him all ways—loves him all ways—he’s just of the opinion that juno has earned the right to be soft, especially after so many years of finding a home in that hyperion city hardness. even if it means that, sometimes, this softer juno treats nureyev with so much gentleness, he doesn’t know what to do with it. it’s not the affection he takes issue with (he’ll happily accept whatever affection juno offers up), but the sense of pity nureyev is sure underlies it. are even his deepest insecurities so glaringly obvious that juno, ever the professional private eye, has read them as simply as a run-of-the-mill case file? his weaknesses so profound that his own dear detective treats him like one of the fragile items he’d be tempted to steal?

he maneuvers himself to wrap around juno from behind, nureyev’s chin perched on the warm shoulder in front of him and one pair of their hands still loosely intertwined as the stream starts up. 

if not pity, then what could he have possibly done to warrant such sweetness? he’s definitely had his moments, nureyev reasons. between his fateful face-off against the guardian angel system and his assistance in preventing miasma’s martian culling alone, his “enduring moral core” (the calling card buddy had so bluntly informed him of) had surely earned him the right to skim off the top of the galaxy’s limited supply of goodness. but even if the sum of his varied actions had turned out to tip the scale in his favor...

an explosion lights up the screen, and a shower of salmon-flavored snacks are jolted from their bowl into mid-air. “my apologies,” jet laughs quietly, “that was... louder than i had anticipated.” rita chatters away as buddy mindlessly picks dusty crunchies out of vespa’s hair, and juno glancing over his shoulder with those big brown eyes of his warms peter down to the tips of his toes.

nureyev just has a hard time believing the soft, sweet, goodness can exist, is all. he had spent a whole other lifetime entrenched in the feeling of bliss, and it makes his mouth dry to so much as think of it fleetingly now. he does what he can to manage the constant sound of dripping in his head, to fend off the sneaking suspicion that the endless, inescapable cycle of youthful saraswati nights and jarring hospital room realizations (pressing present and indefinite, bleak future) is all there is. but he still braces himself each time juno utters his name oh-so tenderly in private, waiting with baited breath to see if “nureyev” will pull him away like “petya” had the power to before. and he still hopes with all his might that juno hasn’t noticed his repeated, momentary blanching, that this is the one thing he can still protect him from.

he remembers his near immediate urge to whisk juno away to an unreachable corner of space; bouncing from planet to beautiful planet, a once tangible future filled to the brim with dahlias and roses. how foolish to have ever thought he could simply run away, when his debts loom like the shadow of a sky-laser overhead. he remembers their first perfect night together, and he remembers the cold of the otherwise empty bed seeping into him afterwards too, nureyev confesses. how could he forget? he had spent so long turning it over in his mind, letting its tragic singularity turn him bitter. there it was, the confirmation he had been waiting for that it was too good to be true all over again.

there is another thing nureyev fears peter ransom got right: perhaps juno had been justified, leaving him in that hotel room. after all, wouldn’t he have done the same? ”when trouble arises, i disappear...” nureyev understands the dire importance of getting out while you still can. perhaps juno had simply heard it in his head back in that martian tomb, and had taken the motto to heart. 

maybe it was for the best, then, before the wiles of the carte blanche had thrown them together again. like nureyev said, he had already lived a full life. he cannot risk juno being crushed under the weight of peter nureyev’s past (not to mention his guilty conscience) before he gets to live a full life of his own. he won’t do it. he won’t ask that of him. he can’t bring himself to, no matter how much he loves him—perhaps because of how much he loves him.

so, nureyev will appreciate it for now, that elusive goodness he cannot seem to look at head on. he will forget all about the blade (and the map and the book and the key) burning a hole in his pocket, and he will practice music for his captain and her soon-to-be spouse. he will cradle warm mugs of nutrient paste at the kitchen counter, and he will let himself hold and be held by a certain gruff detective he will be ever so sorry to part ways with again.

resolved, peter passively enjoys the rest of the stream curled behind juno—right up until the end, of course.

“pretty good,” vespa mutters (high praise coming from the ship doctor’s lips, and rita glows from the casual admission). “PRETTY good? that was one of the best ones so far, vespa!,” juno’s grumbles vibrate against peter’s hollow chest. “not as good as the legend of good cop, but...” he starts again, met with more quiet laughter from a relaxed jet. buddy sighs a dramatic sigh. “vespa, darling, i’m sorry, but i have to agree with juno. not about the legend of good cop—dreadful stream, worst in the series—but i much preferred the one we watched last time. the trope felt a bit tired, wouldn’t you say? rita, dear, perhaps next we return to…” her voice fades as nureyev’s mind wanders to where the nearest source of water is. asked and somewhat answered, then, when he blinks the sudden wetness away from his eyes. surrounded by this ragtag group of five he has found himself a part of, a sudden sense of belonging washes over him—but so does the dread, the ice-cold impermanence threatening to pull him under. knowing it is his turn to offer his opinion, peter clears his throat.

“ah, so… it was all a dream?”

[chetungwan]

Fic I won't write game: Juno Steel/Peter Nureyev, Cutter Wolf359 is there, title "Soy Sauce"

Well this plot escalated quickly. First I tried to figure out something based on Peter and Cutter both having hot voices, but then I got distracted by the title, and now it's a three-way crossover because I decided to drag in the soy sauce from John Dies At The End. The alternative was something sensible about Juno and Peter going up against Goddard and Juno having to listen on comms as Peter tries to flirt his way past Cutter. I'd figure out something interesting to combine the worldbuilding, maybe Pryce succeeded and she and Cutter are immortal now. Maybe there could be an exploration of Juno finding it both hot and weird to listen to Peter flirt for a job. But that has nothing to do with soy sauce, so instead we have this.

Juno, in high form, discovers a bizarre sorta fluid that is actively trying to throw itself down his throat and he eats it. He immediately feels the effects which include hallucinating, seeing past what might be the fourth wall, talking to dogs, and being able to make absolutely wild inventions that make no sense and pretty much only work if it's funny or if you don't question it too hard. Peter walks in on him telling a sewer rabbit, which might or might not be a hallucination, that if it shaved half of itself, it could steal food more easily because it'd look like two different rabbits coming and going. When Peter tries to figure out what's going on, Juno tells him he has a very hot voice and then starts detailing a text conversation that doesn't technically exist about podcast characters with hot voices. This list includes Marcus Cutter. Eventually Peter gets to him to go to sleep.

[righteousbreakfast]

juno steel was a much more bigger mess than I thought he was like girl don't go around kissing and stealing shit bc someone you known for 8 hours did that to you

[magerightsyeah]

I dont need therapy I just need to see characters I relate to experience character development

[labelleofbelfastcity]

Penumbra Season 3: Juno Steel more like Juno Steal

[ratdoeswriting]

juno steel and how to pretend you're fine

Summary: Juno hasn’t had a bad day in a long time. Okay, maybe he has, but not a bad-bad day, not a self-sacrifice-and-gun-fights bad day, not a what-if-I-crash-my-car bad day. He especially hadn’t had an I-need-to-hurt-myself-and-I-don’t-care-who-I-take-with-me kind of bad day.Except today. Today felt like all of those wrapped into one and multiplied by a thousand.

Prompt: “What if I just crash this car and make it all stop?” from prompt-dealer (i think)

Pairings: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel 

Warnings: canon typical suicidal thoughts/ suicidal tendancies, mentions of car crashes, intrusive thoughts, previous minor character death

Word count: 1.6K

A/N: this is cross posted on ao3 and my main blog - please lmk if i need to add any tags 

~~~

Juno hasn’t had a bad day in a long time. Okay, maybe he has, but not a bad-bad day, not a self-sacrifice-and-gun-fights bad day, not a what-if-I-crash-my-car bad day. He especially hadn’t had an I-need-to-hurt-myself-and-I-don’t-care-who-I-take-with-me kind of bad day. 

Except today. Today felt like all of those wrapped into one and multiplied by a thousand. 

The old Juno would have given in. He would have entertained the idea for all of no time at all and then dived in head first with his eyes wide open. Juno-now (he wasn’t a new Juno, he was just… now, here) still entertained the idea, hell, he might even wonder why he wanted to do whatever it was. But he wouldn’t do it. Probably. 

He definitely wouldn't hurt someone else, no matter what he did. 

~~~

It had started after the last job, which had gone quite spectacularly wrong. 

Juno and Peter hadn’t gone in expecting an easy job - stealing a painting off the wall of a crowded ballroom was obviously going to be difficult - but that had gone off without a hitch, had gone off easier than the last time they did such a heist. No, the real issue came when a different thief had tried to steal a vase and gotten caught. It wasn’t even a nice vase, definitely not nice enough to die over. 

It had turned into a messy hostage situation, Juno’s HCPD training and his own career as professional hostage kicking in as he tried desperately to find a way to get everyone out. 

You can’t save everyone, Juno.

Three civilians and the thief had wound up dead, and more injured than Juno’s guilt ridden brain could count, and by the time he and Peter were back on the Carte Blanche, Juno could barely speak for the shock of what had happened. Neither Buddy nor Peter said anything when Peter debriefed with no input from Juno. 

Buddy did, however, decide to put off selling the painting for a little while, giving everyone some time to relax. This is where Juno’s bad day had started. 

~~~

In the timeless limbo between jobs, it was easy to lose yourself: Rita in her streams with Jet; Buddy and Vespa in their wedding plans, and Peter and Juno in each other. Juno couldn’t help the feeling he was losing himself alone. 

He knows he should have said something to Peter, or Rita, or even Vespa if he was desperate, but he was too busy trying to convince himself had it under control. 

His mind had been racing in loose circles, chasing empty thoughts and half-memories of every time Juno had fucked up, every time he had let someone die, every time he had almost let someone die. 

Benten. Yasmin. Alessandra. 

His head felt heavy with it, weighing him down into a feeling he thought he had long forgotten, numbing him so he couldn’t feel his way out. All he could find in the mess was the handy how-to he had written himself. 

How to pretend your fine when you absolutely, totally are - by Juno Steel

~~~

He had been doing a good job, if he did say so himself. Even if he and the rest of the ship knew that was a lie. 

Rita had been hovering more, not smothering him, just letting him know she was there; Jet never mentioned when Juno came and sat silently with him for a few hours, handing him tools when he asked. Buddy had outright told him that if he wanted to talk then she would always have time, ‘always, darling, just say the word’. Even Vespa had been a little nicer - their typically aggressive banter becoming more like a strangely aggressive therapy. 

And Peter. Peter was Juno’s anchor. He always was. 

But he could only pretend for so long.

~~~

Tonight, Juno wanted to drive - being inside was not helping, and so, from one moment to the next, Juno found himself behind the wheel, Peter in the passenger seat. It was late and Juno couldn't remember what planet they were on anymore. 

The car’s single head light shone dimly on the road in front of them and Juno stared blankly through the windshield, muscle memory alone stopping him from crashing. 

He used to do this, he used to drive for hours, let his numbness fill the car till he forgot he was driving and drifted mentally, drifted physically… 

He wanted to drift today. He wanted to feel weightless. 

The repetitive splashing rounds of the wheels sent Juno spiralling again, an endless list of people he had failed circling through his mind over and over and over again and goddammit he couldn't think, couldn't breathe, he needed it to stop, even if just for a second.

“What if I just crash this car and make it all stop?”

~~~

Peter had noticed the shift in Juno immediately after the job. He had seen his smiles become more strained, his eyes were hazy and unfocussed, movements slowed - as if he was drifting away, moving through a time Peter wasn’t quite in. 

He stayed close to Juno, and when Juno suggested a drive, Peter thought maybe this could be a good time to talk to him. But Juno had said nothing. They had been driving for hours. The suns had set and Juno didn’t seem to be heading home anytime soon, so Peter was about to speak, about to ask Juno what he could do. 

“What if I just crash this car and make it all stop?”

Peter was silent for a second, not quite sure he had heard Juno properly. Juno didn’t even seem aware that he had spoken aloud, nor did he seem to remember Peter was even there. He’s almost certain that the car was speeding up. 

“Juno, can you pull over please, love?”

The car swerved slightly, Juno startled at Peter’s voice, and Peter reached out and grabbed the wheel, pulling them back onto the road, “Juno, you need to pull over.”

The car slowed and, after what felt like a lifetime, came to a stop, a small cloud of dust flying up from under the wheels. 

“I- I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I should be fine.” Juno’s hands were gripped tightly on the wheel in a way that could have only been painful.

“Why don’t we get some fresh air, and then we can talk?”

Slowly, even slower than in the past week, Juno climbed out of the car and sat with Peter on the bonnet, staring up at the sky. 

“I should be fine,” he said again, “I’ve been fine and now… and now I'm not fine!” Juno choked on a sob. God, he hated being vulnerable. 

Peter considered this for a moment, “I know this is going to sound cliche, dear, but you don’t have to be okay. You’re allowed to be sad and angry, and-”

“But I am always angry, Nureyev. Always. I am angry at myself because I keep letting people get hurt and get dead. I’m angry at my mom and I’m angry at every goddamn person I meet and I don’t even know why half the time. There’s just- there’s just rage, and I can control it, better than I could before, but I dont- I dont know if I want to anymore. I just want to let go.”

“Why can’t you let it out, Juno?”

“I’ve done that before. Blind rage is how you get got,” Juno very carefully didn’t look at Peter when he said, “Letting go is how… letting go is how I nearly got myself. I’ve come so close to leaving this place, finally getting some damned rest. I don’t know what kept me here.”

Peter tried not to be too shocked at the almost wistful tone Juno used - they could talk about that another day, for now Peter just prompted, “You’re still here?”

Juno laughed humourlessly, “Yeah, that’s because I always got stupid lucky, and one day that’s gonna bite me in the ass. It was always other people getting got, never me,” He laid back against the windscreen, legs kicking softly at the bumper, “God, I’ve killed so many people.”

“Did you, though? Did you kill them all or did you blame yourself for not being able to do the impossible? Did you blame yourself for not being able to save every single person you met - a task which, I might add, is quite impossible, love.”

He shook his head and kept staring at the stars, looking for answers in the constellations. Peter laid next to him. 

It was a few minutes before Juno broke the silence, “Can we stay here a little while, before we go back?”

Peter would’ve stayed there all night if that’s what Juno needed. 

“Would you tell me a story, Juno? Maybe about someone you saved?” 

Reluctantly, Juno began to tell Peter about an eccentric real estate lawyer and her exploding, tuna-brick-loving cat, absently tracing patterns on the back of Peter’s hand. 

They laid there for almost an hour, but the cool night was interrupted by Peter’s comms beeping twice, signifying a message. 

Is everything okay darling? You’ve been gone a while.

As good as it can be right now. We’ll be back soon. 

“Who’s that?” Juno mumbled sleepily, his gaze shifting to Peter. 

“It was Buddy. Perhaps we should head back to the Carte Blanche.”

Juno nodded, sliding off the car but stopping short halfway to the driverside. 

“Would you like me to drive, dear?.”

Juno looked like he wanted to protest, like he wanted to tell Peter that he wouldn’t actually crash, but instead he just nodded and tossed the keys over the car. 

~~~

Peter knew that they would have to talk properly, they had to talk about Juno trusting him and the rest of their family; they would definitely have to talk about Juno’s allusions to his… more self destructive tendencies. For now, though, Juno dozing on his shoulder, the night road leading them home, would be enough to put both of their minds at rest for the night.

[a-snek-in-a-hat]

My best friend's review of The Murderous Mask

My bestie: I like this Juno person, HE SEEMS SUPER COOL

Me: I know 🙂, he is

Bestie: LIKE SOMEHOW HE HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR A CRUSH BUT FOR SOME REASON I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM?? But like, I'm IN LOVE WITH THIS VOICE

Me: Ah yes, Joshua Ilon. Anyway, he gets a love interest in like, 2 minutes.

Bestie: Like istg IM IN LOVE WITH IT HELP

Me: HA

Bestie: Nvm I like him lmao

Me: NO WAY! HA.. HA.. HAHAHAHHAH

Bestie: BRO I DON'T KNOW WHY?

Me: I love him, but I like the love interest more, but I still don't LIKE like either lol.

Bestie: I can see your face, *my name* STOP MOCKING ME

Me: No, no. I'M MOCKING MR GLASS. HA! REX GLASS. PFFFFFT

*some time later*

Me: oooOOOOooo flirting ensues~

Bestie: ooOOOooOOOoo

*even later*

Bestie: AAAHH I'M DYING I LOVE IT

Me: I KNOW! SEE YOU SHOULD TRUST MY TASTE MORE!

Bestie: The voice is making me die. Also, the insults? MWAH!

Me: I KNOW!!

Bestie: WHY IS THIS GUY SO CHARISMATIC WITHOUT BEING CHARISMATIC?!

Me: MoTheR uSEd tO SaY... BISH HA AS IF! I LOVE HIM SM THO.

Bestie: YES!

Me: OMG I LOVE THIS GHOST SM ALSO! SADLY THE GHOST DOESN'T RETURN AFTER THIS EPISODE...

Bestie: The ghost creeps me out babes.

Me: Oh really? Does it still?

Bestie: No LMAO

Me: hehe

Bestie: HAVE WE MET THE LOVE INTEREST YET?

Me: YEP. IT'S GLASS LOL.

Bestie: WHO? HAVE WE MET HER YET?

Me: *HIM! IT'S REX GLASS MAN!

Bestie: OHHH SORRY!

Me: LOL

Bestie: SO HAVE WE MET HIM-

Me:... SUNGLASSES. IT'S SUNGLASSES. THE GUY SPEAKING RIGHT NOW.

Bestie: OH. OH. OH. Ohhhhhhhh... HA! I FELT TENSION! WAIT SO JUNO STEEL'S LOVE INTEREST IS REX GLASS? CAUUUSEE I MIGHT HAVE LOOKED IT UP...

Me: REALLY *her name*?!

Bestie: And they said it's Rita or something-

Me: BISH WTH SEND ME THIS ARTICLE

Bestie: ITS THE WIKI-

Me: HA! AS FRICKIN' IF!

Bestie: WAIT NO IT SAYS SOME VESPA PERSON... WHO'S VESPA?

Me: WAIT FOR S2 BABES.

Me: WAIT WAIT WAIT VESPA? HA HA HAHAHHAHAHAHA FUNNIEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAYYYYYY XDDDDD

Bestie: Huh?

Me: SHE HATES HIS GUTS

Bestie: But the article says it's this Vespa girl- Here, see: Juno finally meets Buddy and agrees to keep watch over a business transaction. The transaction is interrupted by a woman with a debtor's tag, and it is revealed that she is Buddy's long-term partner in love and crime, Vespa Ilkay, who has been presumed dead for fifteen years. Vespa fails to steal the goods but stabs the buyer, Rasbach.

Bestie: WAIT NO NVM also idk who buddy is-

Me: YOU'RE SO DUMB XD. ALSO ONCE AGAIN, YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR S2. ALSO I LOVE CECIL. WITH ALL MY HEART. THE BEST! MWAH! AMAZING!

Bestie: I THINK HE'S SUPER COOL.

And then radio silence. I doubt anyone will read this much but I found this hilarious so why not post it y'know?

[snapdraqons]

Juno Steel?? More like Juno I'm gonna Steal your gender am I right?????? I'm mentally ill

[sexy-senator-renard]

Where: Along the canal east of the Palace of Juno When: Around sunset Who: Cal & @wintersaurora

Cal didn’t need exercise to maintain his stunning physique since his mortal death had frozen him in physical perfection forever. When he did exercise, he preferred the activities to be carnal in nature, preferably with multiple partners. Sometimes, however, it was necessary to just take a walk and mull over one’s thoughts and that’s what Cal found himself doing this evening. He’d left the Palace of Juno, crossed the bridge leading east towards the forum, but stayed near the water as it looked rather pretty with the sun sinking below the horizon. He wasn’t alone, it was hard to be on the busy streets of Rome, but he wasn’t as outwardly friendly and jovial as he usually was. He gave smiles and nods if people made eye contact but his thoughts were turned inward. 

He’d recently found out that the Eladrin Winter Chancellor was in town, mostly because he kept tabs on things like that and his network tended to give him reports on when important people came onto the scene. They didn’t know, of course, of Cal’s rather more personal connection to her and that it had been...well, about a century and a half since he’d last seen her. That last time had been far from pleasant and thinking about it, remembering it with a startling clarity that the intervening time hadn’t apparently managed to fog, made him set his jaw. It was somewhat of a quandary. He would most likely have to speak to her in an official capacity at some point. as a senator, but couldn’t at all pin down his feelings about that. On the one hand, he remembered the jagged shards she’d crushed his heart into, could still feel the echoes of that pain and was bitter and resentful about it. On the other hand, over a century without seeing her face was...too long by far and on those nights when he allowed himself to...he missed her. She was both the source of one of his worst memories and some of his best and when she wasn’t around he didn’t have to decide how to feel about it since he just tried not to think about it, or her, much at all. Now, he was going to have to and rather quickly. 

Rather more quickly than he’d anticipated, apparently, as a still familiar scent suddenly struck the air. It was the height of summer yet the scent carried the crispness of snow and pine needles wrapped in that always alluring nectar that was Eladrin blood. Cal was still near the river but lost in his thoughts he’d wandered a little further into the city and, apparently, close to her. Before he could really think it through, he followed the scent, moving through the crowd...and then he saw her. For just a moment, he drank in the sight of her, knowing she’d sense or notice him at any moment but wanting to steal a covert second or two just to take her in. She had always been breathtaking and she still was, of course, immortals didn’t change. There were subtle differences, however, in the set of her mouth and the look in her eyes. Not allowing himself to stand idle for too long, entirely still undecided on how he felt, he inwardly steeled himself and approached. 

“Good evening, Your Excellency. I’d heard you were in town and had intended to find you sooner rather than later.” Forma, basically friendly,l and unfailingly polite. Maybe if he clung to that he could survive this interaction with his dignity in tact. “I trust you’re well?” An entirely normal question he would’ve asked to any colleague or professional delivered, admirably, in an entirely normal tone. He hoped he could keep it up. 

[ratisnotcrying]

Juno Steel and how to pretend you’re fine

Summary: Juno hasn’t had a bad day in a long time. Okay, maybe he has, but not a bad-bad day, not a self-sacrifice-and-gun-fights bad day, not a what-if-I-crash-my-car bad day. He especially hadn’t had an I-need-to-hurt-myself-and-I-don’t-care-who-I-take-with-me kind of bad day.Except today. Today felt like all of those wrapped into one and multiplied by a thousand.

Prompt: “What if I just crash this car and make it all stop?” from prompt-dealer (i think)

Pairings: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel 

Warnings: canon typical suicidal thoughts/ suicidal tendancies, mentions of car crashes, intrusive thoughts, previous minor character death

Word count: 1.6K

A/N: this is cross posted on ao3 - please lmk if i need to add any tags 

~~~

Juno hasn’t had a bad day in a long time. Okay, maybe he has, but not a bad-bad day, not a self-sacrifice-and-gun-fights bad day, not a what-if-I-crash-my-car bad day. He especially hadn’t had an I-need-to-hurt-myself-and-I-don’t-care-who-I-take-with-me kind of bad day. 

Except today. Today felt like all of those wrapped into one and multiplied by a thousand. 

The old Juno would have given in. He would have entertained the idea for all of no time at all and then dived in head first with his eyes wide open. Juno-now (he wasn’t a new Juno, he was just… now, here) still entertained the idea, hell, he might even wonder why he wanted to do whatever it was. But he wouldn’t do it. Probably. 

He definitely wouldn't hurt someone else, no matter what he did. 

~~~

It had started after the last job, which had gone quite spectacularly wrong. 

Juno and Peter hadn’t gone in expecting an easy job - stealing a painting off the wall of a crowded ballroom was obviously going to be difficult - but that had gone off without a hitch, had gone off easier than the last time they did such a heist. No, the real issue came when a different thief had tried to steal a vase and gotten caught. It wasn’t even a nice vase, definitely not nice enough to die over. 

It had turned into a messy hostage situation, Juno’s HCPD training and his own career as professional hostage kicking in as he tried desperately to find a way to get everyone out. 

You can’t save everyone, Juno.

Three civilians and the thief had wound up dead, and more injured than Juno’s guilt ridden brain could count, and by the time he and Peter were back on the Carte Blanche, Juno could barely speak for the shock of what had happened. Neither Buddy nor Peter said anything when Peter debriefed with no input from Juno. 

Buddy did, however, decide to put off selling the painting for a little while, giving everyone some time to relax. This is where Juno’s bad day had started. 

~~~

In the timeless limbo between jobs, it was easy to lose yourself: Rita in her streams with Jet; Buddy and Vespa in their wedding plans, and Peter and Juno in each other. Juno couldn’t help the feeling he was losing himself alone. 

He knows he should have said something to Peter, or Rita, or even Vespa if he was desperate, but he was too busy trying to convince himself had it under control. 

His mind had been racing in loose circles, chasing empty thoughts and half-memories of every time Juno had fucked up, every time he had let someone die, every time he had almost let someone die. 

Benten. Yasmin. Alessandra. 

His head felt heavy with it, weighing him down into a feeling he thought he had long forgotten, numbing him so he couldn’t feel his way out. All he could find in the mess was the handy how-to he had written himself. 

How to pretend your fine when you absolutely, totally are - by Juno Steel

~~~

He had been doing a good job, if he did say so himself. Even if he and the rest of the ship knew that was a lie. 

Rita had been hovering more, not smothering him, just letting him know she was there; Jet never mentioned when Juno came and sat silently with him for a few hours, handing him tools when he asked. Buddy had outright told him that if he wanted to talk then she would always have time, ‘always, darling, just say the word’. Even Vespa had been a little nicer - their typically aggressive banter becoming more like a strangely aggressive therapy. 

And Peter. Peter was Juno’s anchor. He always was. 

But he could only pretend for so long.

~~~

Tonight, Juno wanted to drive - being inside was not helping, and so, from one moment to the next, Juno found himself behind the wheel, Peter in the passenger seat. It was late and Juno couldn't remember what planet they were on anymore. 

The car’s single head light shone dimly on the road in front of them and Juno stared blankly through the windshield, muscle memory alone stopping him from crashing. 

He used to do this, he used to drive for hours, let his numbness fill the car till he forgot he was driving and drifted mentally, drifted physically… 

He wanted to drift today. He wanted to feel weightless. 

The repetitive splashing rounds of the wheels sent Juno spiralling again, an endless list of people he had failed circling through his mind over and over and over again and goddammit he couldn't think, couldn't breathe, he needed it to stop, even if just for a second.

“What if I just crash this car and make it all stop?”

~~~

Peter had noticed the shift in Juno immediately after the job. He had seen his smiles become more strained, his eyes were hazy and unfocussed, movements slowed - as if he was drifting away, moving through a time Peter wasn’t quite in. 

He stayed close to Juno, and when Juno suggested a drive, Peter thought maybe this could be a good time to talk to him. But Juno had said nothing. They had been driving for hours. The suns had set and Juno didn’t seem to be heading home anytime soon, so Peter was about to speak, about to ask Juno what he could do. 

“What if I just crash this car and make it all stop?”

Peter was silent for a second, not quite sure he had heard Juno properly. Juno didn’t even seem aware that he had spoken aloud, nor did he seem to remember Peter was even there. He’s almost certain that the car was speeding up. 

“Juno, can you pull over please, love?”

The car swerved slightly, Juno startled at Peter’s voice, and Peter reached out and grabbed the wheel, pulling them back onto the road, “Juno, you need to pull over.”

The car slowed and, after what felt like a lifetime, came to a stop, a small cloud of dust flying up from under the wheels. 

“I- I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I should be fine.” Juno’s hands were gripped tightly on the wheel in a way that could have only been painful.

“Why don’t we get some fresh air, and then we can talk?”

Slowly, even slower than in the past week, Juno climbed out of the car and sat with Peter on the bonnet, staring up at the sky. 

“I should be fine,” he said again, “I’ve been fine and now… and now I'm not fine!” Juno choked on a sob. God, he hated being vulnerable. 

Peter considered this for a moment, “I know this is going to sound cliche, dear, but you don’t have to be okay. You’re allowed to be sad and angry, and-”

“But I am always angry, Nureyev. Always. I am angry at myself because I keep letting people get hurt and get dead. I’m angry at my mom and I’m angry at every goddamn person I meet and I don’t even know why half the time. There’s just- there’s just rage, and I can control it, better than I could before, but I dont- I dont know if I want to anymore. I just want to let go.”

“Why can’t you let it out, Juno?”

“I’ve done that before. Blind rage is how you get got,” Juno very carefully didn’t look at Peter when he said, “Letting go is how… letting go is how I nearly got myself. I’ve come so close to leaving this place, finally getting some damned rest. I don’t know what kept me here.”

Peter tried not to be too shocked at the almost wistful tone Juno used - they could talk about that another day, for now Peter just prompted, “You’re still here?”

Juno laughed humourlessly, “Yeah, that’s because I always got stupid lucky, and one day that’s gonna bite me in the ass. It was always other people getting got, never me,” He laid back against the windscreen, legs kicking softly at the bumper, “God, I’ve killed so many people.”

“Did you, though? Did you kill them all or did you blame yourself for not being able to do the impossible? Did you blame yourself for not being able to save every single person you met - a task which, I might add, is quite impossible, love.”

He shook his head and kept staring at the stars, looking for answers in the constellations. Peter laid next to him. 

It was a few minutes before Juno broke the silence, “Can we stay here a little while, before we go back?”

Peter would’ve stayed there all night if that’s what Juno needed. 

“Would you tell me a story, Juno? Maybe about someone you saved?” 

Reluctantly, Juno began to tell Peter about an eccentric real estate lawyer and her exploding, tuna-brick-loving cat, absently tracing patterns on the back of Peter’s hand. 

They laid there for almost an hour, but the cool night was interrupted by Peter’s comms beeping twice, signifying a message. 

Is everything okay darling? You’ve been gone a while.

As good as it can be right now. We’ll be back soon. 

“Who’s that?” Juno mumbled sleepily, his gaze shifting to Peter. 

“It was Buddy. Perhaps we should head back to the Carte Blanche.”

Juno nodded, sliding off the car but stopping short halfway to the driverside. 

“Would you like me to drive, dear?.”

Juno looked like he wanted to protest, like he wanted to tell Peter that he wouldn’t actually crash, but instead he just nodded and tossed the keys over the car. 

~~~

Peter knew that they would have to talk properly, they had to talk about Juno trusting him and the rest of their family; they would definitely have to talk about Juno’s allusions to his… more self destructive tendencies. For now, though, Juno dozing on his shoulder, the night road leading them home, would be enough to put both of their minds at rest for the night.