#Kylee is a petty ho

[cxhleel108]

LITG S8 Thots for this week: Girl PLEASEEEE😭😭😭

• Bae I kinda don’t care lolz let’s kiss please.

• Sienna Idgaf what you THINK I should be doing with Oakley! I THINK you should leave the villa and go to a salon cuz that hair ain’t doing you no type of favors😐

• Outfit time!

• This just oozes sex like yassss!

• BOY I JUST SAID I DONT CARE RIP THIS LINGERIE OFF MY BODY AND FUCK ME!!!

• Claudia is so done with everyone I’m cryingggg.

• First Liam and Kyle, now Liam and Hari christ almighty you niggas is GAY this season!

• Girl maybe cuz he ain’t wanna wake up to see yo ass in this damn floral nightgown from JCPenny?

• They got Shawn up in this mf talking bout some “mate” girl he is from ATLANTA. We don’t talk like that down South!

• Are you ready to die Liam?

• Everyone backing me up against this loser. See when you’re that girl!

• Claudia x Bea when?

• Luna your “default reaction” to avoid accountability being to throw your friends under the bus is not good niece…let’s unpack that.

• “Next time we kiss, I want us to be coupled up.” boy please!🤣🤣🤣

• So I also decided to marry Oak and use my pie on him…am I down bad? Yeah. Do I give a fuck? Nope! Also I’m not wasting my pie on Liam’s irrelevant ass.

• Oh no! Sienna kissed Shawn! She really got me with that one y’all!

• Ummmm…???

• Not even gonna question it. It’s gonna be some stupid shit anyway.

• Yeah so I lied. FUCK LIAM!

• All that shit Hari just told me I could’ve inferred on my own but aight.

• I didn’t know the definition was “Loser girl constantly pines after crush in a delusional and embarrassing manner.”

• Why is this tea that Jin and Luna are telling me being framed as happening last night but also after SMP? Where the fuck is the timeline going right now???

• Here they go tryna make me the mf couples therapist again🙄🙄🙄

• Oakley eating Shawn up in this argument and Shawn’s only rebuttal is the fact that he’s good at friendships…😭😭😭😭😭

• Uh uh l had to interrupt cuz Ion like how he tryna speak for me insinuating that my head turned in Casa.

• Yet she’s so focused on my nigga??? I hate this fugly ho.

• Outfit time!

• This Swan Lake ass dress help.

• They involving the public so much this season my god I hope them messy bitches are happy.

• Me lying and saying I think Jin and Luna are genuine just so I don’t have to agree with Sienna. I’m so petty😭

• Good thing you don’t get paid for thinking!

• Oak been around me too much cuz why is he so shady likendndjsjams.

• Us just flirting nonstop in the open like this…Shawn just leave atp babe😭😭😭

• Oops🤭

• Now Oakley only trusts me and nobody else yes all according to plan😈🙏🏽

• Oh great I can’t wait for them to try to spin the narrative that either Oakley or I cheated from a 3 second clip from Raunchy Races or some shit.

[kynimdraws]

I’m kinda curious on why you hate rath (it’s been 5 years since I played fe7 I honestly don’t remember anything about him)

I honestly don’t hate him. I’m just petty about RathLyn lmao…

…largely bc some dude once tried to shove a 20+ minute video on how RathLyn was the best OTP with great chemistry, but when I read that that support chain I just did not get that vibe at all??? I did write a more detailed thread about my gripes on the support on twitter here if you want me to be specific. Lyn deserves better than him lbr.

I guess the IDEA of Lyn being Sue’s mom is aesthetically pleasing (if not a little bit…race-pigeonholing bc “same ethnicity = gotta marry only each other” thing) and that paired ending is not bad? But that’s kinda shallow imo and I still don’t care for it at all.

[space-malex]

Most Kyle stans who hate Alex are also Maria or E*ho stans. It's the same group of people. They don't hate Alex because of Kyle they hate him because he "stole" their other fave Maria's love interest or because Malex is the fan favourite ship not E*ho. Some of them dislike Michael too but tolerance him because he is part of M*luca and The Pod squad.

OK now that makes a lot more sense. I was like why would people who love Kyle hate Alex when they are such good friends? And honestly, Alex is one character that hasn’t taken advantage of Kyle or used him for anything. In fact, they have teamed up and worked together on things. They are on a level playing field and have give-and-take in their relationship in a way that a lot of other characters do not with one another. But yeah, bitterness toward malex bc of m!luca or echo makes a lot more sense. 

I have noticed a lot of them also hate Isobel. Which to be honest, I feel a bit of schadenfreude about that since she is now Maria’s BFF and one of the closest people in her life and likely Kyle’s future love interest. I’ve been known to be petty once or twice in my life.

[evendash]

1 pic: Mike-Stephen: Well, admit who had how many girlfriends? Adwin: Call girls considered? Mike-Stephen: Oh-ho-ho! Andy: It seems that Adwin has already joined our team. Adwin: That was easy. 2 pic: Adwin: And what’s wrong with that, every third one called! Andy: Every third? George, what about you? George: Fuck off. Roma: He's shy! 3 pic: Andy: Ahem, petty, but aren't you shy? Mike-Stephen: Come on, what about you? Roma: Actually, I have a girlfriend.. Andy: Jealous? Roma: Well, uh...a little... Andy: My girlfriend is very! 4 pic: Andy: Jealous of me even to you. Adwin: Haha! It's probably hard to be a jealous girl's boyfriend. Andy: Actually, it's not as scary as it seems. Mike-Stephen: Andy is a strong man. Andy: Yeah! 5 pic: Andy: George, is Tiffany jealous of you? George: I can't hear you. Roma: He's still shy! George: How so, Roma? Kyle is very upset when she finds out that you have a mistress. 6 pic: Roma: In what sense?? George: I see how you always lovingly look at each other. Mike-Stephen: Haha! By the way, does Kyle have a girlfriend? 7 pic: Andy: I ​​don’t know, he didn’t tell me anything about it. Anyway, I don’t know anything about his family and past. He was always mysterious. Adwin: Kyle himself was a girl! 8 pic: Adwin: OOPS! Roma: What? Haha, Adwin, what are you saying? Andy: Girl?..Are you serious? How?? Mike-Stephen: From now on, more detail! 9 pic: [sound of door opening] Kyle: Adwin, you... 10 pic: Man: Ocean band, the stage is ready, you can rehearse!

[wclfgurl]

& .   ✧   ›   MEETING ARYA !

✦ ▓ AND WHO GOES THERE? oh, it’s just [ ARYA STARK ]. some say [ HER ] resemblance to [ MADISON BAILEY ] is almost uncanny, but the [ TWENTY-THREE ] year old has been in the capital for [ TWO YEARS ]. many suspect that they are the notorious [ CORPORAL ] of the [ STARK ] family: perhaps that has made them [ DISCOURTEOUS ] && [ IMPUDENT ] of late, when they used to be so [ BRAZEN ] && [ ASTUTE ]. during the daylight hours, [ ARYA ] can be found working as a [ UNI STUDENT ], but when night falls over king’s landing, they are best remembered listening to [ RUN BOY RUN BY WOODKID ]. may the gods be with them in these dark streets. ( attina. 24. cst. she/her. )

hey there demons, it’s me. ya boi ! i’m attina and i’m here to create chaos. please slap a like on this if you want to plot and i’ll come at you. there are a bunch of wanted connections listed at the end so if any of them seem to scream at you, please feel free to yell at me ! my discord is ty lee#5523 so feel free to use that for plotting if you wish ! full disclosure, i don’t remember shite about game of thrones and never finished the season finale nor read the books but i’m here to vibe anyways !

& .   ✧   ›  I. THE BASICS !

full name › arya stark.

nickname(s) › arry, no-name, dead girl, horseface, wolf girl.

age › twenty-three ( 23 ).

d.o.b. › december 12, 1997.

gender › cis-female.

pronouns › she/her.

allegiance › the starks.

occupation › university student ( undetermined degree ). 

current location › king’s landing.

& .   ✧   ›  II. THE BIOGRAPHY !

your mother was once so excited when a little girl joined the family once more. thrilled to have another to dress in all pink, teach the ways of a lady, and become one more little her. too bad the child would have other plans. you were never meant to be the prim and proper lady that your mother expected. not when running around wolves was far more exciting. you didn’t have time for the lessons your mother tried to bestrode onto you, disinterested in spending hours with some yarn. you rather use the needle for something that your mother strongly disapproves of. that’s what really gets you going; doing things your mother states to be vile. 

the years growing up weren’t without bruises and stains. you have scars filled with stories that you tell with a wide grin on your face. proof that you are the one still standing and whatever --- or whoever --- gave them to you succumbed to your victory. you have spent plenty of time in the principals office for fights that you never started but certainly ended. you don’t mind the bruised knuckles the battles gave you. it was completely worth the look on their faces when you took them down.

when you were a teenager, rebellion was in your blood. you did what it took to defy the law. breaking and entering abandoned buildings were a good after school activity for you, running from the police was just a nice jog in the middle of the night. you kept a kill list for everyone that has done you wrong --- most of the names on there were for petty reasons but not billy. you still fucking hate billy. you still have that kill list, though more prominent names are on there now. ones that have harmed your family in one way or another. that’s one thing you don’t fuck around with and that’s family. 

it doesn’t matter how much you felt like an outsider with your siblings; they are still your blood. your loyalty lies with your family and if anyone messes with them, they are immediately pissing you off. the only one allowed to mess with your siblings, including sansa, is you and you’re not afraid to make that known. you will fight tooth and nail for any member of your family, including those loyal to your family. that is, until you prove to be a traitor. that’s one way to get their name written on your list.

despite the loyalty you have for the starks, it didn’t stop you from disappearing two years ago. you told a few people but really, you just had a desire to see a part of the world. just for a year. call it a break from university if you will. studying abroad, if that helps your mother sleep at night. you came back as per agreement with your father and yet, you still wish to be gone. there was so much more that you haven’t seen and the classes that you’re taking are just dull in comparison. is it too much to wish for a different path for yourself?

but that’s something you never dare say. instead you keep your hit list close to your heart in case an opportunity presents itself and you continue doing what you want when you want it. that includes any duties you’re given. you do as you please, speak your mind to whomever, and post tiktoks for the hell of it. 

& .   ✧   ›  III. THE FACTS !

yeah that’s right, arya stark is a tiktoker. honestly fight me? she’s a gen x’er what do you expect? her tik toks are probably one way that her family realizes she was still alive during that year of traveling. is she a famous tiktoker or whatever you call them? hell yeah and you can quote me on that.

her weapon of choice is a small rapier nicknamed needle gifted to her by jon snow.

she has no idea what to study in uni and none of it really appeals to her? she finds it all boring. which is probably why she’s often skipping classes, turning assignments in late, or plain not doing a thing in that class. definitely an argument she has with her mother every day is about uni. 

arya joined the organisation as a corporal as a request from her father, utilizing her skills, and a big f-- u to her mother. because honestly isn’t that what life is all about? 

she has a siberian husky named nymeria ofc.

rebel for rebel’s sake; she’s definitely spray painted buildings before. probably has been arrested as a minor. it’s fine though. everythinG’S FINE.

personality wise; arya is loud and proud. she’s never one to stray from speaking her mind despite the turmoil it may cause. think the girl cares if she hurts your feelings?? probably not but maybe a little and only if you actually cared about what she thought. listen, it’s complicated and so is she. she doesn’t believe in happy ever afters but looks more realistically, and potentially more emotionally as she doesn’t mind keeping a grudge and doing things that would end a grudge in a not forgiving way (murdah is fun)! she thrives on making her ancestors ( mother & sister ) disappointed in her but also it hurts when they are? its fine, she’ll worry about those complicated emotions later. 

& .   ✧   ›  IV. THE CONNECTIONS !

what the fuck is up kyle › negative; their paths have crossed once or twice before and each meeting has never been a pleasant one. arya doesn’t try to hide their displeasure when face to face whether it’s public or private. there is a solid chance that they are on her hit list for a petty reason.  i’m in my mum’s car. broom broom › positive; listen, arya isn’t heartless idk what made you think that. she has a heart, she just doesn’t know how to express emotions and rather vanish for a year than face people again. but listen, this character is someone who has seemed to break through her shell. whether or not that’s a good thing is up for debate. wtf, is this allowed? is this allowed? › romantic; romance isn’t something that arya daydreams about but man, she fell and she fell hard. they were just meant to be a nice distraction but here she is, acting like something that she’s not. first loves are a scary thing and she would much rather just pretend that they are just for fun. i’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me › negative; political parties aren’t something that arya cares too much about, but she does give a damn if someone hates her family for whatever reason that is. it doesn’t matter that they are on opposite sides, what matters is your mom’s a ho. but in all seriousness, prepare for some stink eye and arya badmouthing them. zach stop! you’re gonna get in trouble › positive; listen. even arya needs someone that she might be a good influence towards. the one person who is like hmmmm, maybe not a good idea right now. however, they are still creating havoc together for the vine ( rip vine ) tiktok.  stahp! i coulda dropped my croissant › romantic; distractions and fun times and maybe doing things that you’re mother doesn’t approve of, that’s the arya way! and this one really is just a booty call. it doesn’t matter what side they may support, that’s not what they are talking about, if they are even speaking, when they’re meeting up.

[flintsjohn]

hi it’s not even 8am and i’ve just finished watching so here’s thoughts on roswell for the finale! please do come yell at me, we can survive the hiatus together. spoilers ahead.

let’s start with the easy things! i knew noah was gonna die but i’m still kinda :///// at the whole “let’s make the moc evil and kill him” thing. im bitter. they made him awful and im bitter.

a-HA! listen i don’t like max. i still don’t. i didn’t through the whole ep. AND I LITERALLY. KNEW THEY WERE GONNA DO THAT. from the moment i read carina’s interview being like “they asked a million times if we were sure” i was like HMMM ARE THEY GONNA and they DID. that was ballsy, i give em that. im also probably like the only person who actually rejoiced in seeing him dead but hey, yall know they’re gonna at least try to bring him back so (theory is that either michael or isobel will unlock the healing power and bring him back)

ho ho ho they’re gonna unlock more powers!!! that last isobel scene was sexsie. also apparently max is thor? also evil aliens are coming? some time?

liz.....my girl........im love u..........so much. she’s??? such a badass?????? also the scene with maria was the cutest thing can we get more bestie moments please

kyle!! I LOVE KYLE!! i love love love the fact that he is moving towards a darker place but they still kept him good at his core. AND MANES HAD IT COMING but im glad kyle didn’t kill bc you know... he’d have had to live with that.

michael........my boy...............my baby baby boy..........................CAN HE STOP CRYING? CAN HE? CAN WE STOP DOING THAT? im a little. meh. about the hand healing thing bc they......literally just cancelled his disability which. hm. but the guitar.......my boy........peaceful........cry

all that being said. he’s still an asshole for standing alex up like that. im love :( alex :( im sad. im so proud of alex for the journey he’s been through, like how hard must that have been for him? UGH i love him and im salty that we didn’t get more of him in the finale :(

BUT ANYWAY. that scene in the trailer i am CRY binch. 

ok and last thing. listen. i’m upset about how they pulled the michael/maria thing in this ep, but i’m not mad they did it. i’m upset that after michael and alex literally being this close to kissing and michael promising they would talk he just went ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and went to maria. BUT. this being only the ending of season one, i’m not upset they went with m/m. they literally have been telling us for multiple eps that maria is uhhh the easy way out, for lack of better words. she’s something new and fresh and doesn’t come with all the trauma that michael has SAID is inherent to his relationship with alex. we know it is. we know how hard it is for both of them. my hope was genuinely that they wouldn’t put michael in a relationship at all by the end of the season, bc i honestly don’t think it’s what he needs right now, but i understand the choice of being like “this is new. it might be good. let’s see where it leads us.” AT THE SAME TIME i think they’ll HAVE to talk. i mean all of them. literally, all three of them, sit the fuck down and talk it out. i hope we’ll get that in s2, or even just.... you know, clear the air in pairs or sth, without the petty remarks, because otherwise it’ll probably just get messier and messier, which is really the only thing im afraid of when it comes to the three of them :/ but anyway! i look forward to malex’s journey in s2 as friends. LET THE SLOWBURN BEGIN YALL

while we’re on the subject, the first scene we get of m/m in s2 better be michael explaining everything bc i am DONE with maria not knowing!!!!! also wtf is the necklace thing about!!!! i wanna know!!!!!!!

ok last last thing. PLEASE. i beg all of you (i mean i have the right mutuals, but you never know who needs to hear this). don’t go screaming for queerbaiting in the wake of this. a) this is the end of s1 (and half a season, if we’re honest), not an endgame. there’s time. give them time. b) it will NEVER be queerbaiting in ANY CASE. i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again a million times but michael and alex are BOTH STILL QUEER. THEY ARE. IT’S CANON. their relationship is CANON and it always will be, even if michael stays with maria forever. people change and move on, even if they still love each other! it doesn’t take away the fact that they’ve been together, and it doesn’t change any of their sexualities, so please don’t be assholes (and ESPECIALLY don’t harass carina/the writers/the actors please).

come share s2 theories with me!!! because we ARE getting a s2, or i’ll riot after the finale ending like this ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[junker-town]

13 way-too-early predictions for the 2019 NFL season

Yeah, the Super Bowl just ended, but we’re going to get our Tony Romo on anyway.

The NFL is usually hard to predict. That’s how it’s supposed to be, at least.

For the third year in a row, it was the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, and for the sixth time in the Bill Belichick-Tom Brady reign of terror, the Patriots won it all.

Now there’s a new season on the way, and your team has a chance to be the one that dethrones the Patriots. It probably won’t, but hey, there’s months of free agency and the NFL Draft that will let you fire that optimism up to full blast.

But before we do all that and get an idea of what teams will look like in 2019, let’s take a way-too-early test of our NFL fortune-telling abilities:

2019 NFL MVP

Carson Wentz — Adam Stites Andrew Luck — Sarah Hardy Aaron Donald — Christian D’Andrea Patrick Mahomes — James Brady

Why I picked Wentz: It’s kind of wild how ho-hum we all were about the season Wentz had in 2018. After spending the offseason rehabbing an ACL tear injury he suffered late enough in the year that he wasn’t ready for Week 1, Wentz finished with career highs in completion percentage (69.6), passing yards per game (279.5), and passer rating (102.2). That was after he almost won MVP in 2017.

If Wentz can stay healthy for a 16-game season, there’s not much reason to believe he won’t have another great year in 2019. — Adam Stites

Why I picked Donald: Donald led the league in sacks last fall, then wound up being shut out in the postseason while suffering an embarrassing Super Bowl loss. I can’t think of any better motivation than that. — Christian D’Andrea

Comeback Player of the Year

Jimmy Garoppolo — James Brady David Johnson — Adam Stites Earl Thomas — Christian D’Andrea Le’Veon Bell — Sarah Hardy

Why I picked Jimmy Garoppolo: Some incredibly silly 49ers fans think that Kyle Shanahan isn’t the right man to lead the team, but he absolutely is, and he knows he wants Garoppolo to be his quarterback. Coming off an ACL injury caused by an awkward plant while trying to run the ball for some dang reason, Garoppolo will have a ton of pressure to perform.

And I expect he will. He thrives under pressure and has the right attitude. Garoppolo spent the majority of last season learning Shanahan’s intricate offense, watching what did and did not work with C.J. Beathard and Nick Mullens, and continuing to be alarmingly handsome. He’s gonna crush it next year. — James Brady

Player who will regress the most

Patrick Mahomes — Hector Diaz Drew Brees — David Fucillo Christian McCaffrey — Christian D’Andrea James Conner — James Brady

Why I picked Brees: By November, Brees went from an MVP-caliber season to looking every bit of his now 40 years old. Next season, Brees is going to fall off a cliff, Peyton-style. — David Fucillo

Why I picked McCaffrey: Betting on any kind of non-Kuechly consistency in Charlotte is a fool’s errand. — Christian D’Andrea

Which underwhelming rookie will level up in his second year?

Dante Pettis — Christian D’Andrea Sam Darnold — Sarah Hardy Josh Rosen — Adam Stites

Why I picked Pettis: Pettis wasn’t exactly underwhelming as a third-round pick last fall, he just wasn’t the darkhorse Rookie of the Year candidate I’d hoped he’d be. He came on strong toward the end of 2018 with Nick Mullens — and now he gets to show out with a hopefully-healthy Jimmy Garoppolo in 2019. — Christian D’Andrea

Why I picked Rosen: There’s a really good chance the Kliff Kingsbury experiment goes down in hot desert flames. But if it does, you’d probably figure it’ll be the defense that lags behind. That’s what happened during Chip Kelly’s three seasons as the head coach of the Eagles.

So even if the Cardinals don’t turn things around, Rosen can post some serious numbers after finishing his rookie year with 11 touchdowns and 14 interceptions. — Adam Stites

Team that will definitely acquire Antonio Brown

San Francisco 49ers — James Brady Pittsburgh Steelers — Sarah Hardy Jacksonville Jaguars — Christian D’Andrea Indianapolis Colts — Adam Stites

Why I picked the 49ers: Chiefly, I’m trying to do that thing where you will something into existence. Is it working yet? Please say it is. But I mean, outside of that, the 49ers seem to be a pretty perfect fit for Brown.

For one, the 49ers need a No. 1 receiver to pair with tight end George Kittle and solid No. 2 WRs Marquise Goodwin and Pierre Garcon. Plus, Brown wants the football. He wants on that Kyle Shanahan and Julio Jones in Atlanta train. Shanahan and Garoppolo can get him the football. And finally, the 49ers have ample cap space to give him a new contract, and ample draft capital to make a trade. — James Brady

Why I picked the Steelers: I’ll believe AB gets traded when I see it. I also secretly think both him, the Steelers, and especially Ben Roethlisberger loooooove the drama.— Sarah Hardy

Why I picked the Jaguars: Because it would be the meanest possible destination for Pittsburgh to choose, barring Arizona or possibly Buffalo. — Christian D’Andrea

Team that will employ Blake Bortles

Miami Dolphins — Sarah Hardy Tampa Bay Buccaneers — David Fucillo Tampa Bay Buccaneers — James Brady New England Patriots — Adam Stites

Why I picked the Patriots: Picking bad teams makes sense because Bortles is a bad quarterback. But there are some things that he’s good at. One of those things is running the ball. Bortles is third all-time in rushing yards per attempt (6.32) among quarterbacks, behind only Michael Vick and Randall Cunningham. Bill Belichick has noticed and compared Bortles to Cam Newton back in September.

Any team that needs Bortles to be its starting quarterback is in trouble. The Patriots wouldn’t. They could, however, find a way to creatively use Bortles’ rushing ability a la Taysom Hill in New Orleans. — Adam Stites

Team that will surprise us and make the playoffs

San Francisco 49ers — Adam Stites Cleveland Browns — Hector Diaz Tampa Bay Buccaneers — Sarah Hardy Cincinnati Bengals — Christian D’Andrea

Why I picked the Bucs: idk, the NFC South is weird. — Sarah Hardy

Why I picked the Bengals: Escaping Marvin Lewis’ orbit is going to shoot Cincinnati into the postseason like a rocket — especially with an uneven AFC North schedule looming. — Christian D’Andrea

Team that will disappoint us like the 2018 Jaguars

Los Angeles Chargers — Adam Stites Kansas City Chiefs — Sarah Hardy Baltimore Ravens — Christian D’Andrea Cleveland Browns — James Brady

Why I picked the Chiefs: I think the Chiefs will make it back to the playoffs, no problem. Just don’t expect anything more. It’s the price Paul Rudd has to pay for never aging:

.@PatrickMahomes5: The youngest NFL MVP since @DanMarino. Think diehard @Chiefs fan Paul Rudd was excited? #NFLHonors pic.twitter.com/i2wdBqgtcR

— NFL (@NFL) February 3, 2019

— Sarah Hardy

Why I picked the Ravens: Clubs won’t be taken by surprise by Lamar Jackson, and he’ll be tasked with staying healthy one year after averaging 17 carries per game. Multiple defensive starters were 30+ years old in 2018, and C.J. Mosley could leave in free agency. — Christian D’Andrea

Team that will lose in the playoffs in excruciating, Saints fashion

New Orleans Saints — Adam Stites Atlanta Falcons — James Brady Kansas City Chiefs — Christian D’Andrea

Why I picked the Falcons: Boy, did I swing and miss when I picked the Falcons to win the Super Bowl at the beginning of this past season. The Falcons have a lot of great players and seemed to be trending in the right direction, and then ... they broke.

They fell apart at basically every level, through injuries (Devonta Freeman, Keanu Neal, and Deion Jones are among the many who missed significant time). The offensive line collapsed. The offense was moving the ball but couldn’t score in the red zone. The slowly improving defense was injured at every front.

But there is still a strong core there, and the Falcons will reload and refocus. And it will all come crashing down in the playoffs, because the NFC South is, simply put, cursed. Good teams feed on the inwardly crumbling souls of the NFC South, and that will culminate in a great regular season followed by an absolute stomping at the hands of someone, probably a dumb team like the Cardinals or something. — James Brady

Six-win team that will inexplicably beat the Patriots this season

New York Giants — Christian D’Andrea Miami Dolphins — Sarah Hardy

Why I picked the Dolphins: It’s not just because they hired Brian Flores as their new coach. It’s because, well, isn’t it always the Dolphins? The Patriots will lose to them in hilarious fashion in December — to Jay Cutler, or because Gronk tried to play safety — and we will laugh and laugh.

And then the Patriots will be right back in the Super Bowl less than two months later because nothing matters. — Sarah Hardy

Team that will win Super Bowl 54 because it has Tom Brady and Bill Belichick

New England Patriots — Adam Stites New England Patriots — Christian D’Andrea New England Patriots — Sarah Hardy I am protesting this category. — James Brady

Why I picked the Patriots: Because they have Tom Brady and Bill Belichick and I’m tired of being wrong when I pick another team. They’re inevitable. Just embrace it. — Adam Stites

Team we’ll pretend will win Super Bowl 54 because we’re sick of the Patriots

Indianapolis Colts — Adam Stites Kansas City Chiefs — David Fucillo Kansas City Chiefs — James Brady Still the Patriots — Christian D’Andrea lmao, it’s always the Patriots — Sarah Hardy

Why I picked the Colts: The bulldozing offensive line of the Colts was the centerpiece of an offense that finished No. 5 in the NFL, despite a lackluster group of skill position players. Andrew Luck got better as the year went on, and earned Comeback Player of the Year.

Now they enter the 2019 offseason with three top 60 picks, the most cap space in the league, and exciting young players on an up-and-coming roster. Nail the draft, add some talent in free agency, and — look out — the Colts are coming. — Adam Stites

Why I picked the Patriots: I can’t even pretend anymore. I’m picking the Patriots to win every Super Bowl until the end of time now. Congrats on Super Bowl CCL, 238-year-old Tom Brady. — Sarah Hardy

Super Bowl 54 halftime performer

Ariana Grande — Adam Stites Pitbull — Hector Diaz Jennifer Lopez, with a special appearance by Will Smith AND Pitbull AND DJ Khaled — Sarah Hardy Taylor Swift — James Brady Maroon 5, again — Christian D’Andrea

Why I picked J. Lo, Will Smith, Pitbull, and DJ Khaled: Jennifer Lopez has enough mass appeal and ability to put on a spectacle that I’m a little surprised she hasn’t at least cameoed at a halftime show yet. She’s even told Andy Cohen recently that she wants the gig. It’s kismet.

Not to mention, she’s worked with Miami natives Pitbull and DJ Khaled before. And Will Smith, who has Bad Boys 3 coming out in January 2020, almost co-starred in a A Star is Born remake (?!) with J. Lo. Plus, y’know he wants to party in the city where the heat is on ...\

Why I picked Maroon 5: Adam Levine’s gotta take his pants off somewhere. — Christian D’Andrea