#LIKE KISA JUST. YOU'RE KIDDING ME. WHAT???

[sssusuki]

Me, stupidly: Oh my lord and my lanta! The romance for Kai is definitely a curveball from his character who is known as emotionally distant and cool hearted!"

The real curveball: 🚗💨

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: @kazutora-kurokawa is at it again, inspiring me and stuff. To be fair, I've been looking for some redeeming quality about this asshat - and tbh, I've not found anything. I think he's a lost cause, guys. Also, ningyō = "doll" and "human shape" in Japanese. I hope I'm not offending anyone with my little nicknames for reader. It's not my intention. I'm just trying to make it cute <3.

C/W ::: Kisaki x F.reader, morning M->F oral , really sweet Kisaki (where the lies come into play), just gross. So sweet and full of lies it's gross. Don't @ me about the massive inaccuracies here lmao. I'm fully aware.

WC ::: Just over 1,100

MDNI UNDER THE CUT, PLEASE//THANKS!

“Mmmaaahhh, where do you think you're going? Don't leave bed yet. Please?" Kisaki was so needy in the mornings. It's been like this since the beginning of your relationship. "Stay. Just a few more minutes?" He begged.

"Kisa', a few more minutes is the same universal trick as just the tip. I know that if I stay here for a few more minutes that we'll fall back to sleep and the whole day will be fucked." You smiled down at him from where you stood at the edge of the bed.

"You know ... you, too, could be fucked, ningyō. Come on. I felt you rubbing your ass against my dick all night." Kisaki was trying so hard to get you to listen to him.

"I was freezing my ass off and scooting closer to you so I could warm up. You always leave the window open like a psychopath. I mean, y'know. You are. That's all I was doing. It wasn't sexual." Laughing at him you noticed he furrowed his brow and frowned.

"You just like teasing me." He turned over in bed and pulled the covers up to his chin.

"I am not a tease, Kisa'. You're just a big baby." You were starting to feel bad. So you sat down and pulled the covers back from his face and tucked your fingers under his chin instead and kissed him. "How. How do you always have the best breath in the morning. You're an anomaly. A complete freak of nature. You defy logic."

"Please come back to bed. I need you." Did his lip tremble? No. You're seeing things.

"I need you too, Kisa'. But we have work to do today. I'm already running late."

"Then come back to bed and we can be late together." He reached up and pulled your shirt, dragging you closer and closer to him. To be fair, you weren't really putting up a fight. Your legs were already against the bed and you had no resistance left in you.

"Okay, maybe a few more minutes. But if we fall back to sleep, you're making breakfast." You smiled and laid down next to him.

He buried his nose in your neck and absorbed your scent and heat against his face. His stubble tickled you, making you tip your head to the side to keep him out as best you could - even though you wanted all of him all over you.

"You smell so good, ningyō. Like home." He breathed in again, nuzzling deeper into you.

"Well, I am home, so it makes sense."

"You are my home. My family." Kisaki's voice was soft and quiet. You felt him move closer to you, but didn't think anything of it until you felt his teeth on your shoulder.

"Hey! What are you doing?" You tried to push him away, but he held you tighter.

"I just want a little taste." He whispered and sucked on your skin, marking you.

"Kisa'! No! We can't right now. We'll be late!"

"Then don't let me fuck you. All you have to do is make me believe you don't want to do this. That's all." He bit down a little harder, making you gasp.

"Stop! Stop or I won't let you touch me at all." You laughed so hard. He always made you laugh. This was a side of him that no one else got to bear witness to. The kind and gentle Kisaki. The playful Kisaki. The Kisaki that made your heart burst with love.

He pulled away and licked the mark he made on your skin. It was red and tender to the touch. You could tell it would be purple by the end of the day.

"Kisa'. Please." You couldn't stop laughing.

"Fine. You win." He sighed and rolled away from you. "Just kidding!" He got on his hands and knees and scooted down under the covers, working his way between your legs. "I'm hungry for a different kind of breakfast."

"Wait! Kisa'! You said you wouldn't fuck me! No!" You tried to grab his head and stop him from moving, but he was already under your shirt and pulling your panties down.

"I never promised anything. Just that I wouldn't fuck you. Not that I couldn't make you feel good." His tongue was soft and warm against your folds. "Just lay back and enjoy it. It won't take long." He hummed against your cunt and sucked on your clit, making your whole body shake.

"Kisa'. Noooo-hahahaaaa! Please. Not now. We'll be la- fuck, god." You couldn't stop yourself from grinding against his face. You were so weak for him. And he knew it.

He pushed your legs wider apart and moved his tongue faster, pressing it deeper into you, rubbing your clit just hard enough that you'd feel it but soft enough that you sought him out more.

Your back arched and your eyes rolled back. You gripped the sheets and felt yourself gush over his face as he sucked every drop of you from his lips.

He pulled himself out from under the covers and kissed you deeply.

You adore how he kisses you. It's perfect. His lips are perfect for yours. His tongue is perfect for yours. The taste of you on his tongue is perfect. It's all perfect.

"You're a brat." You whispered, pulling him closer to you.

"I'm your brat and you're perfect. Come on. Let's go to work." He laughed and jumped off the bed, dragging you with him. "And you know, you have to return the favor tonight. So be ready."

"Don't worry. I'll be ready." You kissed him again and held his hand as you walked to the shower together. "And I'll make sure to lock the window so you won't be able to open it and freeze me to death while we sleep."

"Fine. But you can't lock me out of your heart, ningyō." He smiled and turned on the water. "Let's hurry and get cleaned up. We have a day ahead of us."

You smiled at him and shook your head. Kisaki was something else. But you loved him. And you'd love him forever.

"Kisa', you know I'm never leaving you, right? You don't have to keep marking me like this. I'm already yours. Always."

"I just want to make sure everyone knows who you belong to, ningyō. That's all. Now, let's get ready. I'm starving." He pulled you into the shower and started washing your hair, massaging your scalp with his fingers and humming a tune that made you melt.

This man was really and truly something else entirely.

Taglist ::: @katkitkats @arlerts-angel @viburnt @darkstarlight82

[smilingangel582]

I never written for these cuties... I fact I love all the couples in sekaiichi hatsukoi! But I wish Rit-chan wasn't being too difficult with Takano. I'm so in love with that guy! And man, Hatori is hot! So good with cutie Chiaki! Ahhh, anyway, I'm gonna write one for little Kisa and sweet Yukina! They r my weakness for some reason neehee.

Cute as a button

Yukina Kou began to flip the pages of the manga Kisa Shouta edited. He was fascinated by it and read it like it was the last time he got to read a manga again. Kisa was back from a shower since work had gotten in his way.

He began to give a weary look to Yukina, who was reading them with a bright smile on his face.

"Yukina... didn't you read that already?"

"Hmm?" Yukina hummed, not giving a proper answer as he kept reading it and sitting crossed leg by the book shelf.

Kisa sighed now, but seeing how Yukina was reading it, he looked like an absolute child. This was noticed by Yukina as his sharp eyes turned to Kisa, alluringly "Kisa-san, you're staring..."

He blushed midly before looking away "N-not really I just got off a hot bath" he was attempting to flee to the kitchen, excusing himself so he could make dinner.

"Anyway, what should I make -ack!"

Arms wrapped around his middle and pulled him back down to the ground with Yukina now flipping their positions who was on top of Kisa.

Kisa was exploding with many shocking thoughts "Ahh... Y-Yukina? What's going on?"

"Ne, Kisa-san, your so cute"

He was blushing even more wildly now. "Uh-where did that c-come from?"

He grinned yukina watched him melt into a blushing puddle as he covered his face. How could he call him cute when he's thirty? Fuck... he can't let Yukina see more of this embarrassing sides.

"Well... um, I'm thirty you know..."

"And...?" Slowly, his position was clearly to pin kisa down by grabbing his wrists and pulling a leg over his waist to straddle him. Kisa looked away with a red face as Yukina leaned forward his nose touch his cheek.

"I'm not cute... OK?"

"Cute... admit it..." Yukina whispered to his ear.

"N-no..."

"Are you suuure~?"

Stubborning lifted his face so their noses met, and he shook his head. "Make me..." Then tried to add, though timidity was clear in his tone."Kid..."

Gawking at this boldness, Yukina smirked, "Hm, I don't know Kisa-san... you shouldn't have agreed to something you can't keep up with"

"What do you meHEHAAN!" A surprised squeal left his lips when Yukina pinched his waist now releasing his right wrist during the procedure.

"Um... w-wait... Y-yuhuhukina?" He giggled as the little squeeze suddenly crawled up under his shirt teasingly. Kisa was crumbling instantly with giggles.

"Gah! Ahahaha, hohohold ohohon! Yuuhuhuhukiii!" He was high pitch in tone now, a kid by heard as he stumbled with giggles.

"My, my... you can yourself thirty but aren't giggling like a five year old?"

"Gahahaa, who's gihihihigling??"

Humming playfully, he poked his ribs, now releasing both arms just to get his finger his shirt, grabbing any sensitive skin he can reach.

"Nohoho, cuhuhut it out! Ahahaha, " he curled to the side as he embraced his sides. He can't believe a guy younger than him was tickling the shit out of him. He was an old man! This is a college kid! What is wrong with this world?!

Cooing, Yukina had a strong hold as he teased him. "Who's a little cutie... aren't you cute as a button?"

Blushing more, Kisa shook his head, pushing his hands off to curl onto a giggly ball. He watched Yukina grab his wrists again and then use his lips to shower tickly kisses on his neck.

Yukina didn't expect such adorable snuffs of giggles that escape from.Kisa as be curled and squirmed with a whiny titter "Nahahaha ehehenough!" His voice got cute.

Yukina blushed in excitement. "So... cute! I bet that no shojo manga can make a person this endearing"

"Ahahaha enough AHAHAHA NOHOHOT THEHEHERE!" He shrieked now, jolting to the side immediately. His armpits were attacked and Yukina was having the time of his life "Wow... your cuteness is illegal right now..."

"NAHAHAHA!"

"If you want me to stop tickling there, then you gotta saaaay~?" He taunted as he gave a frivolous wiggle deeper into the hot spot. Kisa's squeal and giggles shifted to cackles as he banged his heels on the ground, now trying to escape the death of laughter.

"AhAHAHA FIHIHINE! I AHAHAHAM CUTE! STOHOHOP THAT ALREADY!"

upon the magic word, Yukina stopped, smiling gently when Kisa curled close to him, like a child, with little chuckles and giggles left over. Yukina kissed his head and said, "Aren't you glad that you're cute as a button?"

Kisa blushed as he looked away. "W-Well... I can be your cute button, but..."

Yukina gasped in happiness, embracing him even more before he could continue any further "Really??? Can you be my button?

He felt more kisses shower him, and it made Kisa giggle and kick his legs briefly. "Yehees.. yes... but ohonlihiy for yohou."

"I love you, my cute button, Shouta!" He poked his nose, and Kisa flushed with shyness.

"U-Um... me too, Kou, I love you too"

[roleplay-abiogenesis2]

Questions 7 and 8 for the ask the mundane meme. I'm mobile and can't copy/paste, sorry!!

Multimuse Asks || Currently Accepting!

which one of your muses has the most ships?

I am going to assume you're asking about ships I have partook in. I do not really involve myself in the fandoms I roleplay (like forums, twitter, reading fanfictions or watching videos), so I wouldn't know what people outside of my own sphere of involvement ship. Anyways with this premise...

I believe Sephiroth is the one I have written the most ships with. Which is not a lot, if you can believe it? Most of my RP partners haven't gotten to ship with me because of how slow I am in my approach to chemistry building.

With Sephiroth I have at least two ships established, which is my highest record for a single muse so far. I know, not a lot. Told you I'm Mr. Slow Burn!

what is each of your muses otps? notps?

Akihara Ren: no OTP or NOTP decided

Auron: NOTP with anybody, leave him be

Hakkai: OTP with Gojyo, NOTP with Goku, sorry, but he will cook him treats!

Cyno: Too soon for me to decide on OTP, but I am very weak on pairing him with Aether, Candace, Nilou and possibly Tighnari. Too early to decide on NOTPs.

Fushimi Niki: OTP with Kisa, as OTP as that means- NOTP with Saru and that should be a GIVEN.

Fushimi Saruhiko: SaruMi OTP forever and always, NOTP with Suoh. It gives me the heebie jeebies, please don't.

Sanzo: No OTP, but no NOTP either, really?

GLaDOS: OTP with science, NOTP with cake.

Hazel Grouse: OTP with teasing Sanzo while completely unrequited because those scenes are the best; NOTP with Sanzo because then I wouldn't get any more disgusted Sanzo reactions and where is the fun in that?

Kenshin Himura: no OTP or NOTP decided

Hisui Nagare: no OTP and definitely NOTP with Iwa he is his SON

Hope Estheim: he's a child so I don't really think about ships with him

ZEN: JuZen OTP!! Juzen OTP!! NOTP with Yoosung- and tbh... Jaehee. I'm sorry.

Iwa: Strangely OTP with Fushimi Niki, it's a personal verse in my brain and probably will never see the light of day again. NOTP with Nagare

Jet Enduro: OTP with Virginia Maxwell, who I will never find to RP with and that makes me honestly sad. NOTP with Gallows.

V: OTP with Jumin, yes, I said it. NOTP with Saeran or Saeyoung, he loves them as surrogate kids or little brothers. Also NOTP with Yoosung for the same reason.

Jumin: JUZEN OTP!! NOTP with Jaehee because that is just wrong, and NOTP with Yoosung. What do I have against poor Yoosung?

Kjat: Nothing established.

Syaoran: OTP with Sakura, obviously enough. No real NOTPs so long as age limits apply.

Yukari: no OTP or NOTP decided

Munakata: no OTP decided but DEFINITELY NOTP with Saruhiko... please don't make me do that. I will cry.

Neji: no OTP or NOTP decided, he's a child

Ran: no OTP or NOTP decided, he's a child

Red XIII: OTP with Deneh, NOTP with anyone not his species, you weirdos.

Roy Mustang: I will gloss over this guy for my own safety-

Sephiroth: Sefikura OTP as fanon as it is. NOTP with Hojo, Hollander, President ShinRa, Palmer..., NOTP with Vincent. NOTP with Jenova.

Sesshomaru: No OTPs. Definitively NOTP with Inuyasha or Rin. And I will deal with the consequences of this stance.

Squall Leonhart: No OTPs or NOTPs decided.

Totsuka: OTT with the Homra Founders, of course! No real NOTP decided.

Warrior of LightL No OTP or NOTPs decided.

That was almost painfully shameful to go through. I swear I am not anti-shipping! I just... don't really think about ships much until I am thrown into one through roleplay?

Ace problems I guess.

[allgather]

❛  can you just hold me for a while ?  ❜ ( kisa to haru! :) lil tiger )

even tone, even expression. hatsuharu doesn't let any sudden tinge of unease colour his face. kisa's presence isn't that unusual - he would say, out of all of the members of the zodiac, she's one of few who's sudden appearance at his door doesn't raise suspicion. he'd invited her in, searched his parent's kitchen for a snack that she might enjoy while they spoke ( and settled on some cookies tohru made for his birthday last month that he'd promptly forgotten about at the back of the cupboard. he feels guilty to find that they've gone a little stale ). there is silence between them, but it isn't uncomfortable and he feels no need to fill it. kisa, much like himself, is quiet. he likes to think it's because she is purposeful with what she says and not from the lingering fear of being heard. he can't know, so he hopes instead.

when kisa does speak, haru has to tamp down a flash of concern mixed with that hot, familiar rage ( not at her, of course; at her classmates. at the cruelty kids show to one another ). it's unproductive, he tells himself. in that low, even voice, with that calm, even gaze, he answers. "of course, kisa. come over here."

he'll wrap his arms around the little tiger, this youngest to bare the zodiac curse and the cruelty of others. hatsuharu meets her where she's at, holds her wordlessly and brings comfort to the silences, however long they wish to last.

"i won't let go until you're ready, alright? and then maybe we can talk, if you'd like." or we can just let the quiet sit.

[goddess-of-green]

Akatsuki with a drunk s/o saying "I love you"

Warnings: Fem!Reader, language, mentions of alcohol and intoxication

✤ Tobi

↬ You lost a drinking contest with Hidan, and Tobi was carrying you to your shared room, he wasn't being too loud because he knew you probably had a headache

↬ You were being extra affectionate, nuzzling into Tobi as he set you on the bed, muttering about how much you loved him

↬ Wait- how much you what

↬ Tobi did a double take

↬ "What did Y/N just say?"

↬ Once you repeat it he would be totally whipped, he'd kiss you right there and say it back

✤ Pain

↬ You'd had a pretty wild night and Pain was tucking you into bed, setting water on your bedside table and some painkillers in the drawer because he knew you'd need them in the morning, when-

↬ "I love you..Pain..."

↬ You what

↬ Pain is not ready for this he's not ready HE'S NOT READY-

↬ "I love you too, my goddess. Sleep well."

↬ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

✤ Itachi

↬ You were very drunk, and you were laying pretty much completely on Itachi as he read silently

↬ "I love you a lot Itachi.." You giggled, hardly conscious

↬ "I love you too, my dear." Itachi replied without missing a beat

↬ But then he had to a do double take

↬ Did you just..? Did he just..?

↬ What..?

✤ Kisame

↬ "I...love you, Kisa.." You muttered

↬ Kisame stopped in his tracks, looking down at your form in his arms

↬ After Kisame registered what you said, he smiled widely

↬ "Heh, I love you too, little shrimp."

↬ Grinning, Kisame continued to carry your drunk self to bed, thoroughly creeping out the other members with the dreamy look on his face

✤ Kakuzu

↬ Kakuzu sighed at your clearly drunk state, already knowing you'd complain endlessly about your hangover in the morning

↬ Sitting up slowly, you sluggishly made your way over to Kakuzu, and he was prepared for you to open your mouth and be annoying like you usually were when you got drunk

↬ Instead, you just leaned your head into his chest, and muttered something he might not have caught if he weren't a seasoned shinobi

↬ "I love you Kakuzu..."

↬ Kakuzu just grunted, despite the butterflies having a rave in his chest

↬ "You're intoxicated, Y/N."

↬ Kakuzu made sure you were completely asleep before he said it back

✤ Konan

↬ Konan had been tidying your shared room

↬ You were zoned out, laying on the bed as you watched her clean, and being drunk as you were, you just said the first thing that popped into your mind

↬ Konan stopped everything that she was doing when she heard those words

↬ "Darling...could you repeat that, please?"

↬ With a dopey smile you said it again, "I love you Konan, my paper p-princess."

↬ Konan blushed as she made her way to you and started to stroke your hair, "I...I love you too, sweetheart."

✤ Sasori

↬ Sasori was working on...something, you couldn't exactly make it out but you deemed it less important than you as you placed yourself onto his lap

↬ Sasori looked up at you, he could tell you were intoxicated and wondered what you were inevitably going to say

↬ Staring at him through hazy eyes, you eventually smiled and leaned into his chest

↬ "You're very pretty Sasori...I love you..."

↬ Sasori blinked as he considered the weight that your statement carried

↬ "Strange...I think...that the feeling is mutual."

✤ Deidara

↬ "D-Deidara...I love you..."

↬ Deidara.exe has stopped working

↬ You said it like a little kid that broke something and was going to get in trouble

↬ "I..er..."

↬ "DId you not hear me? I said I f-fucking love you!" You hiccuped, impatient with his lack of response

↬ "I-I love you too Y/N, un!"

✤ Hidan

↬ If you're drunk then Hidan's probably drunk too tbh

↬ You were probably coming back from something, getting ready to pass out when you look at him and just let it slip

↬ "I love you Hidan..."

↬ When you say it he'll sit there for about 10 seconds in just...total silence

↬ After he processes it, he'll be happy, and surprisingly unconflicted

↬ "Well, what the fuck? I think I love you too babe."

✤ Zetsu

↬ Zetsu has never been intoxicated before, so naturally, he has no idea what's going through your mind while you sit there, zoned out and seemingly content with just staring at him

↬ After a few minutes, Black Zetsu starts to get irritated

↬ "The hell are you staring for?"

↬ Blinking out of your stupor, you smiled at him

↬ "I love you...Zetsu."

↬ Black Zetsu is stunned, White Zetsu is blushing wildly, and they are both completely shocked

↬ "I-I- w-we- we feel the same..."

[ridiasfangirlings]

Fushimi, after running away from home, needed a quick source of income that's not just tech stuff so he does tutoring and ended up teaching Yata's siblings. It was just a job at first and he didn't even get along with Yata but slowly they got close and he started crushing on him (Yata crushes on him too and gets excited whenever the kids have a tutoring session lol). Yata's family also found out Fushimi lives alone and tries to make him spend time with them like he's part of their family.

For some reason I find this setup very appealing, teenage runaway Fushimi tutoring some kids and unexpectedly falling hopelessly in love with their big brother. Imagine Fushimi decides he's finally had enough of his terrible parents and decides to run away, maybe Niki's in the hospital and Fushimi figures it will take Kisa months to even notice he's gone. He packs a bag with just his laptop, a couple changes of clothes and whatever money he has saved from his allowance. This lasts him for a while at first, he's able to bounce from hotel room to hotel room without anyone getting too suspicious but eventually it's clear that he's going to need some kind of job. Fushimi had initially intended to just do tech stuff online to get cash but that's proving difficult with his current living situation, going from hotel rooms to internet cafes and trying his best to keep connected online. He's buying some food at a nearby convenience store when he sees they have a bulletin board up that people can post job listings for like local plumbing or construction-type things, out of desperation he posts his own ad offering tutoring services for kids.

He gets a call a few days later from a woman wanted help tutoring her two younger children, she also makes mention of an older boy who might need some assistance with high school entrance exams. Fushimi finds himself feeling a little prickly about the idea of going into this home with like an actual happy family but he needs money so he takes the offer, scheduling himself to go to the woman's house a couple times a week for a few hours at a time for a regular pay amount. The first day he's supposed to be there he rings the doorbell, standing all awkwardly in front of the door, and when it opens there's this red-haired kid standing there. Fushimi looks at the kid and gives this flat 'I'm your new tutor,' the kid's like oh you mean you're here to tutor Minoru and Megumi and Fushimi's like huh so you're not in elementary school then. The kid immediately gets pissed off about that and Fushimi gives this little grin, as he steps inside he hears the kid's mom yelling at him to be polite to the tutor. Fushimi gets introduced to his two new 'students', Minoru and Megumi, and to the oldest kid Misaki (Fushimi's grin gets even wider when Yata's mom says that name and Yata's immediately like 'don't call me that,' naturally Fushimi starts using that name every chance he gets).

Yata's mom has to go do some grocery shopping so she leaves Fushimi and Yata with the kids, Fushimi sits down to start his tutoring session with Minoru first and the whole time Yata's in the corner playing with Megumi and glaring at Fushimi like he thinks Fushimi's suspicious. Yata sees that Fushimi's his age and asks what school he goes to, Fushimi clicks his tongue and says he already graduated elementary school and Yata's like I told you I'm in middle school. Fushimi leaves a couple hours later when his session is done and he has to admit that maybe it wasn't so bad, the kids weren't as annoying as they could be and besides Misaki was fun to tease at least. After that Fushimi goes back to the house several times a week and Yata's always there for him to tease in between tutoring sessions. Minoru and Megumi quickly get attached to him, amazed that he knows everything and maybe at first Yata's a bit jealous too because here he's the big brother and yet his siblings keep praising this stranger for being so smart and all. At one point Yata's mom asks Fushimi to help Yata with entrance exams, Fushimi acts all polite to her but then when it's just him and Yata he starts teasing 'Misaki' for being an idiot. Yata thinks he won't learn anything from a jerk like this but then as Fushimi's teaching him Yata realizes that this guy is actually kinda amazing. Fushimi doesn't know how to take this, he enjoyed teasing Misaki before but now when Yata looks at him with shining eyes and praises him it's like this whole different level of feelings.

After that they slowly become friends, Yata looks forward to Fushimi coming to tutor the kids and even asks if he wants to go to the arcade afterward. The only problem is that he also keeps asking where Fushimi goes to school and where he lives and Fushimi initially keeps blowing that off. Eventually he says Yata can come over to his place one day and Yata's surprised and concerned when he realizes Fushimi's living in a hotel room, especially when Fushimi makes a comment about how this is where he's living 'today.' Yata begins to suspect that Fushimi ran away but he doesn't want to say anything that would make Fushimi get upset and decide to stop coming by to tutor the kids. Maybe at some point Yata's on his way home from school and sees Fushimi, he goes to say hi and then freezes as he sees Fushimi running away from someone – Niki got out of the hospital and has shown up to torment his kid. Yata gets to see how awful Fushimi's dad is and realizes this must be why he ran away, and now Yata's decided to start saving up so that one day maybe they can move somewhere together.

In the meantime Fushimi is still tutoring, maybe he did find a semi-regular coding job that he can do online so he was able to take down his tutoring ad but he still only keeps going to Yata's place. Yata starts making sure he has like snack set up for Saruhiko every time he comes by, pretending like this is just a nice friend thing but really he's worried about how Fushimi's eating living all alone on the streets like this and he wants to like watch over Fushimi the best he can. Even though Yata hasn't said anything to his mom she's also started being really nice to Fushimi as well, telling him to stay for dinner and even agreeing when Yata asks if Saruhiko can spend the night. Fushimi realizes that he's starting to get attached and thinks he should end these sessions but he can't bring himself to do it, finding himself almost looking forward to seeing Misaki every day, even though he's also worried because soon school will be out of session and what will happen once he's not tutoring Misaki's siblings anymore.

[kittyspotatoes]

🐲Another TES(V) OC Thing🐲

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 58

Name: Rozenn Emberheart [aka Candle, Kisa, Nightingale]

Name Meaning: Rozenn is more or less a common name in Daggerfall. But it does come close to Rose that matches her hair color

Pronouns: She / They / He / Heehee / No, nothing, better yet do not perceive her. She's invisible.

Age: 26

Race(s): Breton

Place of Origin: Daggerfall, High Rock

Pick A Theme Song For Them: Deep Water by American Authors

I mean Kisa got a playlist too but it's mildly depressing / will make you shake an angry fist against the world

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game? Prison [gotta get the big broke akaviri dude out]

Where Are They Currently In Your Game? Riverwood. As you can see, I am not progressing marvelously XD

What Are They Doing There? Watching some brawlers hit each other over the big cooking pit

Homes? SEA DRAGON MOD HELL YEA

# of Locations Discovered? ???a

Dungeons Cleared: HOW COULD U COUNT THIS

Misc. Quests Completed: MISC QUEST BANE OF MY EXISTENCE - 0

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: The tavern, the inn, the indoors. Kisa is a lazybag at this point of the game. Kinda kidding, it's The Rift.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point? Yes / Yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: *Geralt voice* Fuck

Main Quests Completed: storywise, none but in game it's already finished

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: out of Sovngarde and never coming back there worsties <3

Dragon Souls Absorbed: i cant count

Words of Power Learned: mmmm...many

Shouts Mastered: not more than 10

Favorite Shout: Unrelenting Force

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): SWORD. Dagger. Chain whips.

Combat Style: Fast and clean. She gets around in melee. She'll use range [bows and magic] as much as possible but her real preferences are knives. As for with group, Kisa's responsible with providing mass healing.

Armor Type / Level In It: Medium. Kisa's a toxic stam meta character XD

# of Training Sessions: Self-taught apparently. SOBS

Who Taught Them? Her parents taught her restoration. Her childhood friend's parents taught her other forms of magic and swordsmanship. They're all dead. She just kept mixing it with other techniques she picked up from years of surviving.

Favorite Enemy Type: Storywise None. She'll give up all the rewards waiting at the end of the road at record speed if somebody else claimed they can end the Dragon Crisis [haha Miraak you're in for a treat bitch]

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Spiders. Who in the right mind wants those spiky hairy limbs. [Looking at you Inigo.]

People Killed: Too many [also i didn't count oops]

Animals Killed: ENOUGH TO KEEP THEM ALIVE ;-; [There's game for everyone as what the poachers like to tell players]

Undead Killed: several... Too many in game though

Automatons Killed: look is this from the stat check in the game-

Daedra Killed: because I didn't check that before doing this 🤺 but she killed way too much in game. Kisa's a beast up close ✨

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): Restoration

Conjuration Level: 40?

Destruction Level: 100

Enchanting Level: 31

Illusion Level: 20

Restoration Level: 100

Most Used Spell(s): Potent fire rune - she'll plant it in your face. Lightning storm - bc she's Sasuke

Spells Learned: ?? THERE ARE MOD POWERS SO IDK?? 😭

Items Enchanted: Kaidan's armor and Inigo's armor. No enchantments for you Lucien sowee

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: Yeess although not in the story.

Where Are They At In The Questline? Story wise, in Riverwood. As far away as possible. They do not interact.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.) Kisa is curious about what they can offer, although most of the higher ups are obviously interested in power and political leverage than knowledge itself. Kisa would warm up on the Winterhold College after being introduced to Tash [deenomilk's OC]

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 700 [shame! shame!]

How Did They Acquire Their Gold? Taking it from the unworthy!!!

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 0

For...? None. She's just good.

Current Bounty: 0

Locks Picked: Beyond counting. Or at least for me. I'm pea brained.

Jail Time: Does the alternate start scene counts?

Jail Escapes: NONE

Murders: She is judge jury executioner

Assaults: Look every other bandit camps assault her first so that's majority of Skyrim

Items Stolen: something that equals 700 gold and 1 year worth of ingredient supplies

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: Yes

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: Nope [Who is Aventus and how does Kisa not interact with him bc she doesn't like children. Kidding, im going to make her adopt him bc im evil]

Where Are They At In Those Questlines? None

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Emotionally unavailable but ready to throw hands with Kaidan for group lead

Current Companions: Kaidan, Lucien Flavius, Inigo, Auri, Rumarin, Khash the Argonian, Hjoromir, Gorr, look uh there's a lot..

Housecarls: None. Lydia is given an indefinite leave. Cats guard the place or whatever.

Friends (outside of party): Valgus, Vilja, Arissa, Anum-La, Zora fair-child, Qa'Dojo, Griffith, Nadina [Anna NPCs], Anduniel [Anna NPCs], Zorya [Anna NPCs], Darion [Anna NPCs], Xanthys, Jarek

Children: Blaise [no wait he's adopted oooohh aahhh]

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan [No they're not enemies. Just highly competitive-wait guys put the knife down WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S ONLY ONE SPOT FOR LEADERSHIP]

Sexual Orientation: ??? if there's a hole—I MEAN NONBINARY.

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Mixed.

Patron Deity(ies): She's a Nightingale, but she's not a worshipper. Just have some contract with Nocturnal.

Daedric Quests Completed: The only one she hasn't done in game is uhh Boethiah bc i hate climbing shit man.

Aedric Quests Completed: Kyne, Dibella quests

How Devout Are They? Kisa used to be pretty faithful. Her parents were temple healers and an ally of Vigilants of Stendarr. Buuut well yea, Dagon cultists came to their home killed her parents and every worker in search for her and she was forced to mercy kill her own parents bc she wasn't skilled enough to close their wounds (and wants to avoid the enemy soul trapping them). Ran away with a few survivors to roam around for years and live in the wilderness until they also got ambushed in the end. So her faith, I'd say, is just way too broken.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship? People are free to worship and believe in what or who they want. But Kisa isn't very interested in history of Divinity. She'll not involve herself in it simply because heaven and hell are beyond her control. But if she were to make a statement, it's not that she shares the hate for Talos—though given a glimpse in the past, she cannot see herself praising Talos, but she will not support the Thalmor's methods and current mindset either.

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born? Who?

Stormcloaks or Imperials? Imperials. If she really had to pick.

Opinion on the Thalmor? *ring ring* Kisa would like to speak to her house founders who were part of the Aldmeri Dominion in 2E. Anyway, they're shit now. Given that they were the reason why she lost a vast amount of her memories, doesn't really put them in a good light. There might be good Thalmors, agents whose mindsets aren't as outdated but she's yet to come across one.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak? *chanting* jail his ass! jail his ass! For real, Kisa went to Solitude first. When they met the court, it was highly believed young king Emeric would have given Ulfric's propositions some thought. Instead he was quick to raise arms and rid Skyrim its High King. When asked, he only insisted it was the way. The way the way Kisa doesn't give a shit about this way or that way, the obvious result was it plunged the shitty state of the country into a shittier one. Now SHE'S the one on the field, healing soldiers of both factions, burying their dead and the casualties, literally dealing with it while Ulfric sits his ass on a throne of blind followers.

Opinion of The Empire? The empire is shit. But that's why she's there, begrudgingly doing the dirty work so they can make it less shittier. If that doesn't work, she'll do things on her own, whatever faction, none shall get in her way.

Civil War Quests Completed: all of it

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug? Don't ask Kisa that, they'll start crying ugly. She's not fine, will not be fine even if all of them persevered. She's destiny's precious plaything <3

Days Past In Game: lmao girls it's 4E 203 in my game dgqkdkfbf

Hours of Sleep: idk about kisa but im getting sweet seven hours of sleep every night thank you very much

Food Items Consumed: Haven't counted XD

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: 20+ sorryyy

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: This is by far the most committed glitchfest playthrough and I'm in tears at the clippings sometimes.

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Apocalypse, Forgotten Magic, Andromeda, Thunderchild, Helgen Reborn, Second Great War, Legend of the Dragonborn, Ultimate Combat, Unleveler mods, OBIS, Follower mods such as Kaidan, Lucien Flavius, Inigo, Song of the green (Auri), 3DNPCs, Khash the argonian, Lucifer, aaand A Cat's Life (don't lie to me you guys want this)

Phew that's a LOT lmao thanks for tagging! @jessaryss why don't I bother @rcclouder to do his OCs, can be optional for your ESO ones since I know you're running a crack/AU playthrough of them in Skyrim 💖 (also lowkey @deenomilk if you have the spare time dhsjdj i sat this in the draft for 1 day)

Also everyone who wants, copy paste this thing or smth and go wild rambling abt your characters!

[rin--sohma]

Hey so I see that you're a Fruits Basket fan :3 Fave characters and why? Least fave? What about ships?

I have a LOT of faves because I have a lot of feelings about Fruits Basket, hahaha. Hiro, Aya, Isuzu, and Hatsuharu are probably my favorites. 

When we’re introduced to Hiro Sohma, it’s as an outsider through Tohru, so he comes off rude, selfish, unlikeable and pretty much an asshole. But as we get to know him and see him interact with the women he loves, we see that he acts like that as a shield for others – for Kisa, for his air headed mother, for Rin. It’s a wall he uses primarily to defend his loved ones, and secondarily to defend himself. In his interpersonal relationships with the people close to him, he’s helpful - walking Kisa places to make sure she’s safe, doing the groceries for his mother, bringing Rin fresh flowers while she’s hospitalized - dependable, keeps a level head in a crisis, we watch him learn tact through his keeping of Rin’s secrets. Hiro’s just a kid, but he manages to be there for the women in his life as much as he possibly can be, except initially when he didnt know Kisa was being bullied because he was trying to protect her from Akito by keeping away from her. He emotionally supports his mother through her pregnancy, Kisa through day to day teenage life, and Rin who is struggling against the supernatural curse and wrestling with how to lift it on her own, all at once. Hiro worries he needs to grow up soon like Haru-nii so he can support the people he loves and he just doesn’t know that he already does and that these people can be strong because he’s supporting that strength.

Ayame Sohma is THE TOTAL OPPOSITE and lacks ALL DEPENDABILITY. He ditched his abusive at worst and neglectful at best family as a kid and threw himself into school clubs and friends to keep out of the house and away from the family as much as possible, something I’ve always tried to do for the same reason. Ayame, preoccupied with clubs and friends and outside life, didn’t think twice about letting someone else take the abuse part of his parents so he could take advantage of the neglect part. He ditched his kid brother Yuki and left him at their parents’ house, even when he moved out, just like I ditched my sisters when I left for college. Once he does move out and gets some clarity away from his family, he realizes that he abandoned a child to his own abusers and he panics and moves to try to do something – but what do you do in a situation like that? Aya became a part of the neglect and abuse. How can he help Yuki when he’s actively become a part of his trauma? 

So he fudges it :P Ayame outside of his relationship to abuse and trauma is OSTENTATIOUS, ELEGANT, UNEQUIVOCALLY GRANDIOSE, BEAUTIFUL, AND SOMETIMES EVEN PUNCTUAL. I love his personality, which would be NOTHING without his UNRELENTING PASSION FOR HIS YOUNGER BROTHER. Ayame is also private person though; he will not make tea for anybody but Hatori, Akito, or Mine. His balance of OVERLY EMPHATIC and personal boundaries sounds strikingly like a trauma induced personality disorder (NPD). Aya is everything.

The person posting this is a Rin fictive, so. Enough said.

Although Hiro admires and wants to be like Hatsuharu Sohma, Haru isn’t actually all that with it. He doesn’t know what to do when the shit hits the fan, he misses important cues, he’s secretly very uncertain and that uncertainty stops him from playing key roles in the lives of people he loves. But he tries, and even if he might look stupid doing it if he thinks something can help someone he loves he’ll do anything to make it happen. He wants to be there for people he loves and usually, he can’t. Instead he lays the groundwork of emotional support so that others can come through and play that key role to finish the job. With Kisa, it was Tohru who got through to her, even though it was Haru who did the legwork. With Rin, it was Hiro who supported her and Kureno who finally broke in and evacuated her to a hospital when she was locked in the cage for 3 months, even though it had been Haru who held her at night through her nightmares. With Yuki, it was the student council, even though Haru caught Yuki at moments of indecision to try to empower him. All Haru can really do is encourage the people he loves to keep going while these other people take key roles in his loved one’s lives. That must be so painful, knowing you can’t be the one to make these problems go away. Haru’s uncertainty dissolves after he almost kills Akito when he does finally come for Rin (at Hiro's urgance) and he accepts a key role in her life. Haru is very complex, usually unshakable until something’s been on the backburner in his mind for so long that it boils over and he snaps over something trivial and unrelated.

This post is too long already so I’ll keep the rest short by saying I don’t have a least favorite character but I do have a least favorite thing about the series and that’s how Takaya wrapped everything up by ‘fixing’ Akito whose narrative until that point sounded like a trans narrative so he started presenting as a woman? Same with Ritsu, that struck me as weird that they had to be ‘fixed’ in such a way.

For ships? Uh. The. Only ships I would post about on a public anon message would probably be Haru/Rin and Akito/Tohru. I’m not really at liberty to get into anything else on the public internet, haha. I did used to ship Haru/Kyo, like that was my all-time OTP. I also paleship AyameHatori, if that means anything to you.

[niskrp]

:// SEARCHING OPERATIVE …

… searching for AGENT 026 / THE HERMIT. classified files indicate that they go by KANG HAN, and are also known as KISA. born in DAEGU, SK, in 1990/09/03, further investigation makes it clear that they joined the agency FIVE YEARS ago. they are an INTELLIGENCE AGENT who specialize in ANALYTIC METHODOLOGY. higher clearance is needed to access further information…

… ENTER PASSWORD TO ACCESS THE COMPLETE FILE.

:// ACCESSING BACKGROUND FILES …

tw. death of a parent, death of a partner, smoking, rejection from family, vomit.

i.

he loses his father when he’s six.

he finds him again, when he’s seven. seated in front of his father’s favorite wooden board, his grandfather’s smile brittle at the edges as he presses that first stone into han’s hands. he loved baduk, you know. had a real knack for it. tiny fingers curl around an even tinier stone.

grandpa, i wanna love it, too!

his grandfather’s gaze is heavy on him as he pushes the white stones forward. the container is scuffed copper, round and worn with age. still, han grips onto the bowl like a lifeline. a single tether between six and seven; the last tie between loss and his father’s smile, hidden in a mass of stones. a ship to finally, finally take him home.

then i’ll teach you.

ii.

baduk is a game of strategy, his grandfather teaches him.

“to win?”

“to protect.”

he spreads the stones out over the board. teaches him of horses and attacks. guides him through ladders and traps and wars. teaches him to build walls only to break them down. shows him how to see through a bluff with one hand and how to deceive with the other.

han eats it all up, like a man starved.

it’s been months since their baduk lessons have begun but, still, han can’t get enough.

still, he wants more.

“it looks more like long-winded war to me,” his grandmother tuts from behind them. it’s well past han’s bedtime but they’re too far long into their match to stop now. “let the boy sleep, honey.”

“we’re almost done,” his grandfather doesn’t even bother looking up from the board. sets down another black stone, hand steady.

han bites back a grin.

he moves too fast on his next move. nearly jostles one of his other pieces in his effort to place his own.

“yeah, grandma! i’m gonna beat him in my next two moves!”

“really?” his mother appears. her fingers card through han’s hair gently as she studies the board between them. his grandfather laughs before han can answer. his grandmother joins the fray, too.

another black stone goes down. and then one more.

and then the game is over.

and han has lost.

“but – what? how? i thought i–”

“arrogance,” his grandfather muses. “will be your downfall, kang han.”

his mother’s hand stills in his hair. a flush has reached han’s cheeks as he studies the board again, his mouth twisted in discontent. he had had it. the game had been his.

“what d'you mean?”

“your desire to win was too strong. i told you,” his grandfather’s gaze is owlish behind his glasses. they glint in the kitchen light hanging above them. “baduk is a game to protect.”

with slow, steady hands, his grandfather guides him through the board.

you start with your home. you build. earnestly, carefully. no matter what attacks come, no matter what traps your opponent sets, you must always return to your home. you must always build and rebuild. its protection and safety must always come first. when your desire to win overcomes your desire to protect, then your home will be lost. then the match will be over.

a weight settles into the pit of han’s stomach. heavy, like he’s swallowed the entire board of white and black. he can feel his mother’s hand on his shoulder but he does not look at her. his gaze drifts to the picture hanging above their mantleplace instead. his father smiles down at them, from there. kind and gentle. the medals and pendants across his chest seem to shine, even through the frame.

he wonders if his father had tasted loss like this before, too.

he wonders…

“your home,” his grandmother echoes, softly. distantly. “must always come first.”

don’t forget that, kang han.

never forget.

iii.

“did you hear? he ranked first at the japan championship last week and flew back for midterms.”

“i wonder why he even came back! i heard he’s quitting school to go pro.”

“isn’t he the youngest to ever rank professionally?”

“man, kang han is –”

kang han is: gifted.

he learns this at the age of nine. when his grandfather discovers that, while his late father had had a knack for the game, han possesses something else entirely. some called it luck, others called it genius. and, well, most called it for what it was. a gift. pure and simple, passed down from his grandfather’s leathery hands to his own. a piece of his father that would stay with him. a piece of his father that would be his to keep.

“welcome home, han,” his grandfather’s voice cuts through the noise of the airport. there are too many lights and a migraine is lingering behind han’s eyes. he reaches for his grandfather anyway. grabs onto the front of his shirt and buries his face into his chest.

he can hear his manager clearing his throat behind them. you’re thirteen, now, han. the media is watching. you need to be – more composed. more put-together. you need to be more, more, more.

han is gifted, after all. a reigning champion returning with too many trophies for one person to hold.

his grandfather doesn’t seem to care.

“you’ve had a long flight,” he hums, his fingers calloused at his neck. he hooks a finger into the uncomfortable collar of han’s dress shirt and loosens it easily. “you won a great fight.”

“’m tired,” is all that han mumbles out. his grandfather laughs. han can feel it more than he can see it. a deep, rumbling sound that seeps into han’s bones. warms him from the inside out. for a moment, han forgets about the lights and cameras and crowds. for a moment, han wraps himself up into his grandfather’s laughter and pretends that he can hear his father’s, too.

“i know, my boy,” he soothes. “i know. let’s go home.”

iv.

from the age of nine to eighteen, han accomplishes more than most adults can in an entire lifetime.

universities fight for his attention post-graduation and the media labels him as a child prodigy. kaist wins the luck of the draw and he soon learns that his genius stretches beyond the baduk board.

kang han is gifted!

his father’s gaze does not waver from his frame and han stares back at him, just as steadily.

“i don’t want to be gifted,” he whispers. eighteen, on the precipice of graduation. stealing from his grandfather’s liquor closet with the taste of old whiskey clinging to the backs of his teeth. “i just wanted to be yours.”

his father does not reply.

but han isn’t foolish enough to expect an answer.

after all, a dead man can’t speak.

who the fuck was he kidding anyway?

v.

it’s his mother who finds the letter first.

it sits, now, clutched between her fists. her hands are steady, though. they do not shake, they do not tremble. instead, they rest firmly in her lap, her knuckles white.

she is not afraid.

she is angry.

“what,” she grits out. “is this?”

han steps inside fully. toes off his sneakers and shuffles in one step, then another. his grandmother sits to his mother’s left, her hands gentle at her elbow. let him sit, let him talk. his grandfather sits in his usual chair, back straight, both fists loose over his knees. his father, in the frame above him, sits in the exact same position.

they all stare, they all wait.

han lowers his head.

“i’m enlisting.”

“kang han!”

“grandpa was in the military,” he continues, unstoppable. “dad was a general, too.”

han bites the inside of his cheek. his own hands curl into fists at his side. something is burning in his belly, hot and angry and ashamed. it threatens to choke him from the inside out.

“i’m not even enlisting in the military anyway,” he spits out. “it’s a government position. they scouted me. they think i can do well. they knew… ”

your father was a great man, kang han.

did you know him?

“they knew… dad.”

it comes out more broken than he wants it to. voice cracking at the edges. his mother’s face goes as white as her knuckles. his father continues to smile, wise and kind from above in his frame. the medals decorating his chest seem even more prominent today than they ever were before.

“han…” his grandmother begins, voice gentle. “think of everything you’ll be giving up. you have an entire future ahead of you. you’re–”

“gifted,” han finishes for her. the heat in his stomach turns into vines. crawling up his chest and throat, reeling out of his mouth in anger. “gifted and useless. i can play a stupid old man’s game and sit at a computer and tap some keys but i’ll never do what dad did!”

he turns to his grandfather, desperate.

“grandpa. grandpa, listen,” he takes a step closer but his grandfather does not bat an eye. stares at him, evenly, from where he sits. “they said–”

i did. very well. he saved my life.

he… what?

he saved my life. it’s an honor to meet you today, kang han. your father would’ve been proud.

“you always told me to protect. you always told me that that comes first – and i – i can finally protect someone! i can finally do something useful. just like you, just like dad.”

he isn’t sure what’s louder. the sound of his own heart, beating wildly in his chest, or the lonely sound of his mother’s heart breaking on that living room floor.

“han… you're… you’ve always been useful. you don’t need to give up your life to be like your father.”

tears sting at the corners of his eyes. he can barely make out the emblem on the paper clutched in his mother’s hands anymore. a familiar dragon. a crest his father had kept in an old safe. hidden beneath han’s countless, shiny, fucking meaningless baduk trophies. still, han refuses to cry.

he saved my life.

“i want to do this. i can do this,” han stands up straighter. rounds his shoulders and clenches his jaw. “i’m going to be like dad. i’ve made my choice.”

for the first time since han has stepped into the room, his grandfather speaks:

for the first time since his mother had discovered that letter, hidden between the books on his desk; for the first time since she wept into her hands and fell into his grandmother’s arms; for the first time since his mother swallowed down her fear and terror and desperation at losing her husband and her son, his grandfather speaks:

“get out.”

vi.

kang han is gifted!

and so is everyone else in the godforsaken program.

for the first time, han learns what mediocrity is. it tastes stale on his tongue, as he finishes second, third, fourth. han had always grown up with loss, but he had never been taught to lose.

he sits up again, sweat at his temples as he faces the control board once more.

“again,” he grits out. the proctor beside him raises a brow. “i want to go again.”

“your turn has passed. fall back, cadet kang–”

“no.”

he slips the headphones over his ears and stares at the screen before him, his eyes bloodshot and his pulse pounding at his temples. his sweaty fists grip the controls as the program reboots.

“i want to go again.”

and this time, he burns ablaze. i’ll win.

vii.

two and a half years come and go and han becomes a bit of a legend.

not for baduk, not for his trophies.

but because he’s fucking great at what he does.

through the blood, sweat, and tears – he forges a name for himself. finishes his training at a breakneck pace and does not relent. does not stop, does not give up. wins and wins and wins some more. he does not cry when his family does not appear for his commencement ceremony. he does not cry after throwing up all night from fatigue and exhaustion after too many hours in the field and not enough time in bed. he does not cry.

he does not break.

because han is done with loss. han is finished with losing.

“take a left,” he barks into his headset, gaze steely as he guides himself through the screens before him. he can hear a gasp behind him. can hear the whispering. why is he leading them that way? is he out of his mind? oh god, he’s going to get someone killed. he resists the urge to roll his eyes. focuses instead on the controls in his hands. “do you fucking trust me or not?”

hesitation on the other end of the line is not taken lightly.

“take a fucking left, asshole,” he repeats venomously.

a beat, and then: the light sensor on his screen finally moves.

with only a second to spare.

by the time han has pushed back from the control board, sweat trickling down his back and a migraine building steadily behind his eyes, the smoke from the explosion has cleared. the heart rate detector continues to blink rhythmically on the screen. spiked and erratic, but there, still. alive, still.

“you saved my life,” the voice huffs in his headset, breathless.

he saved my life.

“i know,” han slams a hand over the control board to close out of the screen. “but i won’t next time, if you hesitate again.”

a breathy laughs filters through the headset.

“for a newbie, you’re a real asshole to have as a partner, i hope you know.”

han doesn’t bother with a reply.

he’s too brutal. he takes too many risks. did you see him back there? how the hell did he maneuver that anyway? man, kang han is –

gifted, he wants to finish for them lamely as he tosses his headset aside and shuffles out of the room, shoulders broad and his face grim. the crowd behind him quickly parts and, again, he is alone.

two and a half years come and go, and han becomes a bit of a legend.

(he thinks of baduk trophies and his grandfather’s laugh and the tear tracks staining his mother’s face and wonders if his father would be proud of him now.)

viii.

fast forward. han is still a legend, around here.

han is a winner, around here.

he rises in the ranks. his partner does the same. an expert strategist and a fearless field agent. a dangerous combination, an unlikely duo.

“you’re both too risky,” their supervisor tuts during one review.

han raises a brow. his partner does the same. they both shrug in unison.

“but we get the job done, don’t we?”

their supervisor regards them evenly, voice mild.

“but at what cost?”

han laughs it off. brusque and fragmented, something not quite right behind his gaze.

(his grandmother had called for the first time in a year the other night. one of his medals had arrived at their residence instead of his own. her voice had been gentle over the line.)

(i'm… we're… proud of you, han. we miss you, dear. we do.)

(han had thrown up all over his shoes a minute later.)

“what does that matter? we get the job done, no one dies, no one gets hurt.”

“you call… three operative agents in intensive care ‘not getting hurt’?” his supervisor appears less than amused but it’s clear that the evaluation is finished. three new medals hang from his partner’s chest and han’s leather jacket hangs loose around his shoulders. he can’t remember the last time he’s eaten. it doesn’t matter anyway.

(we miss you, dear.)

“hey, we still came out on top, didn’t we?”

his partner bursts out laughing at this but immediately sobers up at the sharp look it earns him. discreetly, under the table, he presses a silent high five to han’s hand. han rolls his eyes.

“so are we done here or what?”

arrogance, as his grandfather used to say. will be your downfall, kang han.

ix.

“so what is it with you and your 'rents?”

han shares a cigarette with his partner. the rooftop is empty but the city looks alive, all bright lights and noise below. he leans over the railing and exhales smoke through his nose.

“nothing.”

“uh huh,” his partner turns, tilting his face up to him. “that’s why you cry like a baby every time your grandma sends you a kakao emoji.”

han nearly shoves him right off the rooftop, right then and there.

an unlikely duo.

perhaps his first friend?

“they’re just… mad. that i wanted this. that i wanted to be here, you know?”

his partner regains his footing. steadies himself again. reaches for the cigarette between han’s fingers. ashes drift like falling stars and han wonders if his mom is looking at the same moon that he’s looking at, too.

“heard your dad was a huge deal back in the day,” he hums. han shrugs.

a secret he had learned upon completing his training.

a secret that his mother’s tears had fought to keep.

han thinks of the framed portrait that hangs in the hallway of the jongno building. not unlike the one that used to hang in his family’s childhood living room. the uniform he wore was different but his father’s smile had been the same.

“yeah,” is all that han can come up with.

his partner finishes the cigarette off and a cloud curls out of his mouth like a dragon’s smoke.

“he’s probably proud of you, you know,” he murmurs. han pretends not to hear. “is probably real fucking proud.”

x.

han loses his partner when he’s twenty-seven.

he’s thrown back in time and feels like he’s six years old again. lost and broken and desperate for any kind of lifeline, any kind of reprieve. but his grandfather is no longer there to hold his hand. there is no baduk to be learned.

just han, twenty-seven, frozen in front of a screen filled with white static.

the control room is silent.

han’s hands are shaking.

he can feel tears streaming down his face but cannot register that they’re his own. they slip past his lips and he can taste salt and bile on his tongue.

you saved my life.

it’s an honor to meet you today, kang han.

get out.

your father would be proud.

so are we done here or what?

“no,” han stutters out, trembling hands grappling for the controls. he slams his fist against them again. then once more. the screen buzzes with static but, still, the room behind him is silent. “no, no, no!”

“for a newbie, you’re a real asshole to have as a partner, i hope you know.”

“fucking no! agent, report. AGENT, REPORT!”

a hand grips his shoulder from behind.

“agent kang.”

“AGENT, REPORT!”

“it’s over.”

kang han is gifted!

loss finds him at twenty-seven. catches him between its teeth and refuses to let his bloody body go.

you start with your home. you build. earnestly, carefully. no matter what attacks come, no matter what traps your opponent sets, you must always return to your home. you must always build and rebuild. its protection and safety must always come first. when your desire to win overcomes your desire to protect, then your home will be lost. then the match will be over.

the game is over.

and kang han has lost.

:// ACCESSING PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION …

don’t get in kang han’s way.

no one ever really specifies whether this applies professionally or otherwise – but it’s probably best to assume the worst.

after all, kang han is a storm of the worst kind.

despite nis’ best efforts to snuff out the thunderous rumors, han’s volatile reputation continues to precede him. he’s irritable. he’s short-tempered. he takes his coffee black but his bitterness runs far deeper than that. he’s an asshole, a tyrant, a dictator. so painfully moody. and, maybe most importantly, fucking overwhelmingly great. despite the countless terrifying rumors that circulate around the water cooler, it’s undeniable: what he lacks in tact and sensitivity, han makes up for in genius. ten-fold.

even after his sudden department change, from legendary newbie quartermaster to, now, a newly appointed analytic methodologist, han is gifted at what he does. and he knows it. his sharp tongue carves out the most pristine strategies and his calloused hands render pure gold. even the veteran cadets from his most recent st program would say the same: that boy has lightening crackling under his skin. and he knows it.

so don’t get in kang han’s way is probably the safest advice to take in this field. don’t get in his way and then maybe – just maybe? – he’ll save your life too.

… END OF FILE. CONTACT THE AGENT DIRECTLY FOR MORE.

[durararas]

Hey Kisa! I saw your post earlier and I wanted to let you know that you're doing great! I know that I don't know the details of your life so I can't exactly say that but from what you said earlier, it really seems like you're accomplishing a lot. You're a teacher, which means that you're shaping the lives of these kids. You're positively influencing them and you're there when they reach out to you for help. Whether your advice is helpful or not, the fact that you're even there for them in the

first place must mean a lot to them since you never know if they have a support system in the first place. And for your colleagues and higher ups to recognize your work, that must mean something, right? Sometimes, we fail to see how well we're doing because we're too busy over analyzing and criticising all that we're doing, when in reality we're doing just fine. I understand and can relate to you when you say that you feel like you're not the greatest and that what you're doing isn't good enoughbut if the people around us are pointing out how good we're doing, doesn't that mean that we're on the right track? I know it's hard to believe, but maybe you can just try to remind yourself of that!

sorry for the long reply but thank you for sending this to me and it’s nice to send reminders like this because i usually tend to forget what i’m doing... but well... thank you again. it’s nice to know that there’s someone out there that’s encouraging and giving that reminder so thank you so much