#La Croix Guy flavored

[kimmywithay]

I'm gonna end up being that lesbian stereotype that ends up with a guy aren't i

[sage-lights]

met you at the right time (this is what it feels like)

word count: 2287 Their friends at Smosh were starting to take note of the way Amanda and Angela acted with one another, and it was confusing the heck out of them. Or Amanda and Angela are very happy as a "secret third thing."

Chanse didn’t know when it started, or if this was any different than how Amanda and Angela had always been. But he first took notice of it during an otherwise unremarkable lunch at the Smosh office.

As much as he loved working at Smosh, he had to admit the filming schedule was often brutal. Their call times were usually between eight and nine in the morning. But after a shoot went overtime earlier in the week, Selina had asked the cast to come in at seven today to compensate and ensure they filmed all the videos they had planned for this shooting block. This morning, he rushed through his usual routine, skipping breakfast with barely enough time to make it out the door.

All of this to say, Chanse was starving. It was all he could think about during the last “Try Not to Laugh.”

After what seemed like an eternity, it was finally time for their lunch break. The office had ordered deli sandwiches for everyone, and while Chanse was usually not one to turn down free food, there was a container of last night's leftovers in the fridge calling his name.

While waiting for his lunch to reheat in the microwave, he twirled around the kitchen a bit and checked what flavors of Celsius and La Croix were still stocked. He soon grew bored and leaned against the island counter, people-watching instead. From his position, Chanse had the perfect view to observe all his coworkers milling around the main meeting area.

Near the end of the long tables where the catering was set up, Chanse spotted Angela and Erin engaged in an animated discussion. Judging by Angela's comically shocked expression, he assumed it was about the insane Tinder message Erin had shown him that same morning. He chuckled—straight men are a whole other breed of crazy.

Erin and Angela arrived at a table near the mural at the back of the room where Amanda, Kiana, and Selina were already eating. As expected, Angela sat right next to Amanda—they might as well carry a “Reserved” sign with them everywhere to perpetually save the seat next to them.

The microwave behind him dinged, and Chanse grabbed his lunch before joining them.

“Hey, y’all!” Before Chanse even sat down, Erin swept him into the conversation.

“Oh, my God, Chanse! Remember the Tinder date I was telling you about?” He nodded, “I’ve got updates.”

“Already? Damn, it’s only been a couple of hours!”

“I told you, he’s. Insane.”

Angela scooted her chair back and stood, “Let me get a drink before you continue. Got a feeling you’re not even halfway through the story.”

“Yeah, you go do that,” Erin halfheartedly shooed Angela away, “Because I want you guys to be sat for this story!”

She returned to their table holding a drink in each hand and passed Amanda a grapefruit La Croix before cracking open her own berry-flavored Celsius. Amanda muttered a soft “thank you,” and Angela responded by gently patting Amanda’s leg. Throughout the whole exchange, they didn’t look at each other, didn’t acknowledge the strange act of domesticity. Like this was just considered the norm for them.

Chanse looked around, but no one else seemed fazed. He shook his head, wondering if anyone else had even noticed it.

Angela glanced over, and he caught her gaze, giving her a skeptical look. She stared at him, confused, before turning back to Erin.

He didn’t know what to think anymore.

This was something to file away for later. Angela was definitely getting questioned about it on the ride home.

—

Arasha knew she should be paying attention to the notes their director was reading. Especially since the live show was coming up so soon and the sitcom format they were trying to pull off had some very technically complex elements to it.

She tried for a while, her eyes flicking between her friends and the director. But she couldn’t focus on the director’s words when there was a much more interesting scene playing out in front of her.

She’d been squished between Amanda and Angela enough times to know they were naturally touchy people. Angela would randomly lean on her shoulder for brief moments, Amanda would place a hand on her leg while laughing, and Arasha often found herself playfully hitting her friends’ arms to emphasize certain parts of her stories.

However, Arasha sensed a difference between their general touchiness and whatever was happening with Amanda and Angela now. The intentionality of their movements set it apart; she knew they were both fully aware of their actions. She just wasn’t sure if they realized how differently others interpreted them.

Arasha tried again to focus on the director’s notes, but her eyes still drifted to the couch in front of her. The conversation about character choices and blocking faded into the background.

Amanda leaned against the armrest with Angela settled remarkably close to her. As their coworkers asked questions and pitched ideas back and forth, Arasha watched the two of them whisper amongst themselves. She remembered the way Angela and Amanda had shared a look during last week’s rehearsal, the silent communication that seemed almost intimate.

Now, watching them whisper and laugh together, Arasha felt her suspicions solidify. It was very reminiscent of how they were acting during Under the Mistletoe. Now that she thought about it more, she definitely should’ve clocked this behavior much earlier.

Maybe live shows just brought out something within them. Then again, Angela and Amanda have always been close, both figuratively and literally. But this time around, they didn’t have the guise of alcohol to hide their physical affection behind.

Angela reached over to the other side of the couch and grabbed the white chunky knit blanket, draping it over her and Amanda’s legs. She swung her feet onto the couch and tucked them underneath the blanket before leaning back into Amanda’s side. The taller woman sat up to wrap her left arm around Angela’s shoulders and pull her in impossibly close.

Here they are, the middle of the workday, cozied up with one another as if they were in the comfort of their own apartments.

They must know this isn’t how platonic friends act with one another, right?

—

Courtney didn’t make a habit of prying into other people's lives. They knew just how much all her friends and coworkers valued their privacy and it would be hypocritical for her to speculate considering how long their relationship with Shayne was kept private from their online audience.

But she couldn’t help the curiosity swirling in her mind as Amanda talked about a fan edit she watched recently.

They were sitting on the Smosh Mouth set, microphones in front of them on the wooden table, and cameras capturing every moment. Courtney watched Amanda as she described the edit, reenacting parts of it for them.

What was interesting, however, was that Amanda made a blatant request for more. And knowing their audience, Courtney was sure that Amanda would soon to be flooded with dozens of edits across Instagram and TikTok.

Sure, Courtney would concede that they had watched their fair share of edits—she remembered sitting in the old Defy office years ago reacting to them with Olivia. She might have also indirectly encouraged edits of herself and Shayne in an old SmoshCast episode. And plus, she would be remiss if she ignored the fact that they just made a comment about how all the girls on the cast look at each other with pure adoration and love.

But still, never had Courtney ever asked for edits of herself to be made. It got her thinking, to say the least.

As the podcast recording wrapped up, Courtney’s mind lingered on Amanda’s request. Casually, she brought it up again.

“So, about that edit you mentioned…” Courtney began, her tone light but inquisitive. Amanda’s eyes lit up, and she pulled out her phone  to it to show them.

Courtney knew you couldn’t trust everything you saw on the Internet. People could manipulate photos and videos to fit their narratives. But as she watched the edit of her close friends, she started to believe it too.

Observing Amanda rewatch the edit, Courtney saw a familiar look—soft eyes and a small smile. It was the exact expression Shayne had given them countless times.

Hm, there was definitely something more there.

—

The entire cast and crew were gathered at a karaoke bar now, drinking and singing their hearts out. Even after weeks of rehearsals and an hour and a half long live show, it seems that with this group, the urge to perform just never went away.

Courtney spotted her friends tucked away in a booth, and by the looks of it, Chanse and Arasha are arguing intensely over something. They slid in next to Arasha, lightly bumping her with their hip so she’d scoot over.

“Who’s winning?” they joked, taking a sip of their cocktail.

“Look at Amanda and Ang over there,” pointed Arasha, “They’re so in love and they don’t even know it.”

Chanse looked shocked, “You just said that you don’t think they’re going to get together!”

“Emphasize on the ‘they don’t even know it,’ Chanse!”

Courtney chimed in, “Give them some credit guys! I bet you they’re not as clueless as you think they are.”

“$10 says it’ll take them a months to realize they’ve got feelings for each other,” Chanse insisted.

Courtney scoffed, “five months, tops.”

“You guys forget,” Arasha cut in, “they’re both idiots. It’ll take them at least until end of the year, if not longer.”

“You’re insane!” exclaimed Courtney.

“What? Already doubting your prediction?” Arasha said with a cheeky grin.

“Nope.”

Chanse smirked, clearly scheming already. And the girls know that a scheming Chanse was a dangerous Chanse.

Courtney looked pointedly at him, “No interfering! If we’re doing this, we’re playing fair.”

“Fine,” huffed Chanse, “If we’re playing the long game, then I think we should up the stakes.”

Arasha laughed, “$20 good enough for you?”

“I’m thinking more like $25 from each loser.”

“Jeez, Chanse. We’re not made of money here!”

“It’s go big, or go home, Arash.”

If there’s one thing you need to know about the cast, it’s that they’ve all got a serious competitive streak. There’s no way any of them were backing down from a challenge.

“Okay, I’m in.”

Chanse looked over at Courtney, “You too?”

“Fuck it,” Courtney sticks their hand into the center and her two friends join, sealing the deal.

Courtney hoped that Amanda and Angela would figure out their feelings soon, for their own sake. Though selfishly, winning $50 from the whole ordeal wouldn’t be a bad bonus.

—

Shayne laughed when Courtney informed him of the bet they had going with Chanse and Arasha, and told his wife that that Arasha would likely end up winning the prize money.

He had gotten much closer to both Angela and Amanda over the past couple of years working together, and was immensely grateful that Smosh Mouth had given him the capacity to work with Amanda in a way he hadn’t had the chance to before.

Despite his extroverted on-screen persona, Shayne was much quieter in reality. He preferred to be a spectator rather than a participant. So, not to toot his own horn or anything, but Shayne thought he knew them pretty well by now.

Amanda was an open-book, though she wasn’t often vulnerable. She told crazy stories from her life before Smosh, grand tales of the otherworldly adventures she’d been on, and gives great advice when you ask her for some perspective.

But she often didn’t talk about her feelings. Amanda mentioned it off-handedly in Smosh Mouth episodes and conversations outside of work that she doesn’t like to let her personal life affect her ability to do her job properly. Shayne admired her in that manner, no one could ever claim Amanda was anything less than a true professional.

Angela was the complete opposite. Shayne related to her in the ways they were both private people, preferring to discuss their work or whatever TV show they had watched recently. He didn’t find small talk to be shallow, at least in this scenario where he’s not trying to seem cool to a stranger. Both of them just didn’t think to talk about themselves often.

What separated Angela from Shayne was her innate vulnerability. It was difficult to not wear your heart on your sleeve when you were as earnest a person as Angela was. Their coworkers liked to tease her occasionally for it—you couldn’t tell her anything without getting a shocked Pikachu face in return.

However, together, they balanced each other out nicely. When they were around one another, Shayne noticed how Amanda’s walls would slowly start to crumble away, and Angela got excited to recount the mundane details of her day.

Honestly, they seemed perfectly content just the way they are now. Something a little more than best friends, but a little less than lovers. And hey, if it works for them, who was he to tell their friends to act differently?

—

(Angela was scrolling through TikTok before bed with Spork happily curled up on her chest, petting him softly to lull him to sleep. Hopefully, this time, he won’t sneeze in my face after I’ve already exfoliated and moisturized, she thought to herself.

A video of a random girl lip syncing to a song she vaguely recognized popped up. The text above her read “yk your friendship is elite if people think you’re dating.”

Without missing a beat, Angela sent it to Amanda.

angela: literally us

amanda: HAHAHAHAH SO REAL

Angela smiled like an idiot to herself. God, she loves Amanda. So much.)

[trivialbob]

Yesterday I had a great time in Wisconsin.

Early in the morning I cooked a traditional eggs and sausage breakfast. When I finished eating I walked around the campground, talking to people. I crossed paths with a lot of nice people this weekend. During my walk a group of campers were cooking eggs and bacon outside. Despite having just eaten a similar big breakfast the smell made me feel hungry again.

Eventually I drove to town to re-fill the propane tank. When I buy propane at home I pay a cashier first then show an attendant my receipt before he fills the tank. At the place in Wisconsin the owner (I think he was) came outside. I asked if I should pay before he filled or while he filled the tank.

"You can pay now if you want. Or you can talk with me while I fill the tank," he replied.

Being who I am, asked all sorts of questions about his experiences filling propane tanks while he filled mine. He seemed to genuinely appreciate my interest. There were no horror stories. He explained how he inspects the tank's date of manufacture and makes sure it's safe to re-fill. Back home I've never noticed the attendant pay much attention to the tank, nor is he into small talk either.

After that I went down the road to the place our friends own for a bloody Mary and a small pizza. I like the garnish in a separate glass and the chaser. I looked over several side-by-sides in the parking lot, including one flying two large American flags (the pictures at the top).

After lunch I returned to the campground -- and took a two hour nap. Why not. It felt like vacation. When I got up I met more people at the campground. It's been only two weekends but I'm very happy Sheila chose this place for a year.

Then I went on a bicycle ride. Because I was on some 45-55 MPH roads I wore a hi-viz jacket and had all my blinky lights going.

Almost everyone who drove towards me waived. Drivers who passed me gave wide berth. Two farmers on tractors subtly waved and nodded their heads my way. That made me smile. Approaching an Amish buggy, I figured the woman and boy in it might not appreciate my bright, flashy garb and blinking lights. But they smiled brightly and waved. That really made me grin.

In the evening I went to a different small town, the one I had been to the previous night. I was keen on having a beer at the bar that shares my first name.

First picture below is a sign on the way into town that I found amusing. Second picture is inside Mr. Bob's bar.

I should have taken a selfie, to show EXACTLY how many customers were in there at 6 PM. Later someone told me Mr. Bob's doesn't get busy until late at night. The bartender was a decent woman, but I felt she looked at me like "Why the heck are you here so early? Now I have to stop what I'm doing to serve you." It's not like I woke up the owner to serve me beer at 7 AM. I should have asked why they don't simply unlock the doors at 10 PM.

Since there was no one to chat with at Mr. Bob's I went around the corner to a taproom I had on my list of places to try. I was not disappointed.

There are 20 beers on tap. Not one of them has Light in the name. I chose a flight of four.

Next summer, sometime when Sheila drives, I plan to order the Dirty Knapp. It's served in that large, Swiss-cheese-looking circle below. For $48 you get a four-ounce beer from each of the 20 taps. That's five pints. I'm not a college student any more, but I think I can pull it off if I skip lunch and dinner :)

At the bar I sat with two other guys my age and a younger woman. The bartender was funny. The five of us laughed pretty hard while telling stories.

Because I had to drive back in the dark, along deer-infested county roads, I didn't drink any more beer after that flight. I was having so much fun talking to the others I didn't want to leave. So I tried some non-alcoholic drinks. I've seen hop water before, just never tried it. I liked it. It reminded me of some odd flavor of La Croix. I also had a non-alcoholic IPA. It tasted like real beer without making me buzzed.

To complete my night, some neighbors invited me to join them and their friends around a camp fire. More laughter and stories.

Fun times. I'm looking forward to going back a few more times before we have to winterize the trailer.

[spinchip]

The Ninjas opinion on La Croix

Cole- HATES it. He thinks it's so nasty. He would rather drink literally anything else. It pisses him off to no end that Jay keeps trying to convince him that Jay likes it and drinks it all the time because he KNOWS Jay cannot like it. Coles drink of choice is root beer or ginger ale.

Jay- hated La Croix but drank it all the time to annoy cole. Committed to the bit so hard he acquired an actual taste for it and now genuinely enjoys it. Has a ranking for best flavors.

Nya- no strong opinion. She prefers water to basically any other drink but she'll have one every now and then, if she wants it. She prefers those little water flavoring packets if she wants a fruity taste.

Kai- GROSS. Kai is a classic Coca-Cola kind of guy. Any less won't do.

Zane- carbonation fucks up his taste bud sensors in a bad way so he does not drink la Croix. He's a juice guy, a chocolate milk enjoyer, a tea drinker. He will drink kai, cole, and lloyds flat sodas tho, but not Jay's flat La croixs because they still taste kinda bad to him

Pixal- doesn't like to drink anything.

Lloyd- NOT sweet enough. Lloyd strikes me as the type of Dr. Pepper fan that owns merch. He also drinks tea but only if it's overloaded w sugar

[crazylittlejester]

I feel like Wars would not be the type of person to drink boring water, I can see him drinking an orange flavored la croix, and now I can’t stop thinking about wars when I drink orange flavored la croixs..

Oh god la croix

You’re absolutely right, I feel like he just would not drink plain room temperature water. He’s the kind of guy to throw a lemon slice in there and be all fancy, and he’d absolutely lose his mind over la croix and things like that. RIP Warriors you would’ve loved orange flavored canned waters 😔

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tags @drchenquill @kaylinalexanderbooks and @marlowethelibrarian!

OC Most Likely Tag

My questions:

Most likely to break something in a fit of rage

Most likely to seek solitude when angry

Most likely to make stupid jokes at the wrong moment

Most likely to unironically enjoy pineapple on pizza.

Most likely to binge-watch a 7+ season show in a week.

Most likely to collect fashion dolls.

Most likely to play a prank on someone

Most likely to adopt a random child

Most likely to regret killing someone

1) Most likely to break something in a fit of rage

Hm, I feel like several would, but I'm gonna go with Sepo. He would 100% get so mad he breaks his hand punching a wall like a fifteen year old boy.

2) Most likely to seek solitude when angry

Actually, it's canon that Astra does this. She'll usually scream at someone for a while, then go off and sulk while she tinkers. It's only after a few days that she'll calm down enough to discuss things like an adult.

3) Most likely to make stupid jokes at the wrong moment

Oh, definitely, Djek. His timing is usually great, but make enough jokes, and eventually, you'll get one wrong.

4) Most likely to unironically enjoy pineapple on pizza.

Well, it's definitely none of the Outcasts. I'm gonna say Elsind. They grew up eating the La Croix version of a potato, so they'll eat anything with fun flavors.

5) Most likely to binge-watch a 7+ season show in a week.

Ivander, easily. Especially if it's some sort of soap opera. He'd be camped out on his couch, having the time of his life with a box of takeout and a fancy cocktail.

6) Most likely to collect fashion dolls.

I'm gonna say Astra as well. She tailors all her own clothes, so she has an interest in fashion, and she feels like the type to collect things.

7) Most likely to play a prank on someone

Also, Djek. He's a silly guy. Everyone in the Outcasts' household is constantly on guard for illusion wards behind doors.

8) Most likely to adopt a random child

Izjik. This is canon actually, since she basically adopted both Twenari and Djek, despite Djek not being a child. Also, her halawemavar upbringing means that she's gonna treat any unattended child as her own.

9) Most likely to regret killing someone

Either Elsind, Astra, or Djek. All have either killed someone and regretted it, or tried to kill someone and balked at the last moment.

I'll tag @ominous-feychild @sleepywriter00 @brotrustmeicanwrite and anyone else who wants to play :)

Your questions:

Most likely to have no fewer than five hidden weapons on their person at all times

Most likely to not be able to do a push-up

Most likely to wear socks with fun patterns

[drgstrcowboi]

random modern outsiders hcs

inspired by @darrysfav

Darry

made the whole gang put life360 on their phones

does CrossFit and goes to the 5am classes every single day

watches the bachelor/bachelorette as a guiltily pleasure

posts photos of his food on Facebook

has a budgeting app on his phone and uses it religiously

Sodapop

loves the fast & furious movies

has a boosted board/electric skateboard

plays halo or call of duty but only bc steve likes it

sometimes uses facetune before posting pictures of himself

has a dab pen that he hits with steve and dally

Ponyboy

got really into pokemon go and played it for like a year after everyone else stopped playing

has a kindle/e-reader so he can carry around multiple books

switched from cigarettes to fruit flavored puff bars

drinks truly or white claw if he drinks at all

knows the Starbucks menu like the back of his hand and loves pink drinks

Steve

is really into craft beer and is a total snob about loving IPAs

low key listens to joe rogan’s podcast

loves fifa/soccer but cannot kick a ball to save his life

drives a jacked-up truck or some other vehicle that he sinks a lot $$$ into

is into crypto or something like that

Two-Bit

has a deep appreciation for all of the jackass movies

loves taco bell

makes really good spotify playlists with chaotic names

uses tinder but is one of the few sweet, respectful guys on there

spends an ungodly amount of time on TikTok

Johnny

is a big fan of euphoria and the whole aesthetic of the show

plays animal crossing on a pink switch lite

carries a maroon jansport backpack with little pins all over it

drinks la croix or some other kind of fruity sparkling water

dresses in a thrifted/artsy style and sometimes buys clothes off depop

Dallas

drinks the regular black-can-green-logo monster energy drinks

went through an eboy phase, got his ears pierced and everything, bc he thought it looked tough

listens to machine gun kelly's music and finds it relatable

has an iphone 7 with a screen that's cracked af and no case

listens to music with an old pair of skullcandy ear buds that are fraying and always tangled

[crackers4jenn]

Got some Ted Lasso thoughts

Keeping in mind I've only watched a few s1 episodes, even fewer s2 episodes, and now 6 or 7 s3 episodes in total and totally at random:

The show seems to be hinting at Ted/Rebecca, what with its lack of subtlety when it comes to those psychic-predicted cues (it's like an anvil falling from the ceiling every time Rebecca comes across a green matchbook, lemme tell you) but I still have to squint to find even a hint of romantic interest between them onscreen, like they're La Croix personified. You know, lacking any real flavor. More the suggestion of a otp than an actual otp. But!! I also wouldn't be surprised if Ted and Rebecca have some very last minute revelations about the other, considering how often this show seems to like to pull the move of having very important moments happen offscreen. Like the team's winning streak, after losing so long and so hard. Like Nate quitting. Like Roy and Keeley getting back together. Etc. Anyway, I'm incredibly indifferent to Ted and Rebecca as a ship, they literally are as bland as🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️ to me, but I already told @dollsome-does-tumblr I will suppress my feelings and hope she gets some hail mary endgame so! That's what I'm doing! Here I go!

Speaking of Roy and Keeley getting back together. They're great, I do like them, but I'm also curious what the point of having Keeley clock Jamie's character growth in earlier episodes was if theyyy weren't the ones who were getting back together. Just another instance of lack of subtlety? Like the character growth isn't real if it's not being blatantly addressed?

I can be one of 3 people on tumblr.com who like Sam and Rebecca together, that's fine!! I found their awkward run-in quite delightful. It gave vibes of Jeff and Annie, forcibly platonic pats and all. I gotta say, this show makes no sense, though, because I thought for sure that scene, plus the appearance of Edwin Akufo, would lead to Rebecca intervening on Sam's behalf somehow. But, no. The dude really showed up to mock Sam, just because. And Rebecca got pulled into a meeting with him without ever connecting any dots about how cruel he was to him. So that means the moment between her and Sam was there just to... I don't know, remind the audience they used to bone? For no reason????

I skipped past most of the Nate stuff. I didn't watch his descent into villainy so I don't care about this redemption arc. I also don't care about his thing with Jade, who comes off more like a prop than a person.

Trent sitting in with Ted and Rebecca for girl talk was a highlight. I just like him so much. All he does is stare adoringly at the players (slash mostly Ted) and I think that's swell. This show doesn't have a Jim Halpert stare into the camera, it has a Trent Crimm reaction gaze.

The storyline I laughed over most was Dani inventing an intense rivalry between himself and Van Damme simply because they were playing opposite each other. To have the most darling guy on the team so ruthlessly switch to maliciously competitive? Soooo hilarious, especially played against Van Damme, who went from friendly, to wary and confused, to fearful 🤣🤣

[cashewally-sarcastic]

Decarabian drinks la croix

He wants the 🤏 of flavor, a little surprise for the guy

[hvnbrn]

their fav coke flavor:   full fat coke leaves that icky coating on your teeth that drives daesung insane, so he'll stick to diet if he has to choose. he really isnt that fond of soda in general, but if he's after something fizzy a sparkling water is always appreciated. pass the pamplemousse la croix.

their fav non-lips place to be kissed:   if you kiss his neck, he will melt into a little puddle.

do they believe in love at first sight:   um yes, absolutely, but in all actuality its infatuation at first sight. he can see a guy and truly believe that hes in love at the snap of fingers.

their karaoke song choice:   oh baby baby how was i supposed to know, that something wasnt right yeaaah. he loves a classic britney hit.

the disney character they feel like they relate to the most:   marie from the aristocats is the queen of iconic to him, but if you had to go for someone more human it would be sharpay evans from high school musical. blonde. pink loving. a bit bitchy. rich. when hsm came out he cried because he felt seen.

their taco bell order:   " gross, no. "

their fav amusement park / boardwalk ride:   the ferris wheel because you can kiss hot guys at the top (if you bring the hot guys with you).

friends character they would be:   i .... have never watched friends.

fav type of cookie:  he can appreciate a simple chocolate chip cookie, especially the ones with the thick chunks of chocolate.

tagged by: the ever so lovely @velvetineblue !!

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

Anyone else use boy/guy and girl as like 95% gender neutral terms? Bc I like to think of these words as la croix options, vaguely flavored with something recognizable but certainly not the main or only representation of the original flavor.

[chirp-a-chirp]

Court of Darkness: Princes + Favorite Sodas

Or maybe be this list is more like princes as Earth sodas? Either way *Shrug*

Guy

The most popular, classic soda, that everyone compares other sodas against

So, when you see those videos of Coke being used to clean jewelry, take rust off of bumpers, and you wonder “OMG, why do people keep drinking this clearly unhealthy drink?” Yeah…reminds me of Guy

Toa

Of COURSE Toa likes and is associated with Coke’s bitter rival

Toa gets super annoyed when folks are like “Pepsi or Coke, what’s the difference?” They CLEARLY taste different and clearly ARE different

Fenn

Look at this can with a cherry with a long tongue going “Oh My!” with that smirk. Embodies Fenn’s impertinent flippant energy

Imagine all the cherry stems Fenn could probably tie with his tongue…

Fenn is kinda the wild card of the S rank princes, so a wild cherry drink kinda makes sense?

Lynt

So, I almost put water for Lynt, cause eating anything beyond bread is not his thing 😂

But, ginger ale is one of those soothing, refreshing drinks you’d give to a sick person; it’s kinda a comfort drink when you feel bad

Roy

Almost put Coke Zero cause of Guy being Coke (Coke Zero…wannabe Coke!) 😂

But Roy would like a light, sophisticated drink with a bit of fizz like La Croix (aka sparkling water for a sparkling prince)…and especially the hibiscus La Croix which has hints of floral, botanical flavor

Roy doesn’t strike me as a soda guy, but to fit in with the other soda can drinkers, he grabs La Croix

Rio

It has a sun on it. Need I explain more for this sunshine prince?

Lance

Probably would drink soda primarily with booze/absinthe (if he wasn’t drinking said booze straight for some reason)

But apparently there’s an absinthe botanical soda? That nature-inspired strong combo is right up his alley

[plasticine]

The reason la croix "tastes like nothing" is you guys because you guys are drinking zero sugar fruit flavored sparkling water

[oaky-dokey]

i just tried la croix for the first time and you guys were lying. that seltzer can kind of flavor

[buddyapologist]

scenes I want to draw from my joyful rewrite:

buddy and dusty arguing about la croix flavors

buddy fighting people in the back of a truck and on the tops of cars and then being like "hey whats up I'm good" and dusty going "how the hell are you alive"

them just. sitting by campfires. being siblings

them fighting mutants together and buddy being like hey we make a good team. oh no I'm growing attached. better be an asshole

dusty having to explain to buddy why nobody has let her look at their currency and her going THIS IS WHAT WOMEN LOOK LIKE??? HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?? while he stares into the middle distance longing for death

buddy saying "kill me, I'd rather die than belong to you", and then stabbing a guy when he hesitates

the siblings chucking molotov cocktails into a building and at a mutant and buddy going THAT WAS SO FUCKING COOL bc she's 13 and explosions are cool and then being like hey can i drive can you get me a shotgun I think I would be very responsible with it

[askaniritual]

did you guys know miller makes an extra light beer. like for people who want beer to taste like water that somebody waved a beer near i guess. people for whom the overpowering flavor of miller light is too much. for people who are drinking a la croix and are like i wish this tasted worse and made me ever so slightly drunk