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nuvoloso · 1 year

Text

24-26

Oikawa x gn!reader (no pronouns for y/n used)

The day that changed things for the Aoba Johsai third-years, and how it ended for the captain and his partner.

Word Count: 2334

When he's upset, you don't offer him solutions.

That was something you learned early into your relationship with Tōru, even if he complained in a way that seemed like he was asking for help, just don't. Tōru is the kind of person who needs to rant and complain freely when things go awry, he needs you to support and agree with him. To understand why he's angry or upset, and to assure him that he's in the right.

You knew this had it's downfalls, Tōru was chronically in the mindset that he was always right, and that the things that happen to him can't possibly be his fault. But to live that way, thinking like that - it was a road that led nowhere productive. But you also understood that sometimes all someone needs to feel better is to feel heard. Tōru craves to be understood, it came with the territory of being a genius in any given field. Once you had figured that out, it was easy for you to help him, and you could tell he was more grateful for your support than he could ever put into words.

Today, he and the Aoba Johsai team had lost to Karasuno in the prefecture playoffs, which meant he and the other third-years would be graduating without ever getting to go to nationals. You had been there, watching the game and cheering him on from the stands with your and his friends. You had seen the torment that wrought his face after the ball dropped for the last time, you had watched the first tears fall from his eyes and onto the court. Truly, you had never expected for him to lose against this tiny school, the once-greats but not since. This loss was completely unexpected, and you realized that tonight would probably be emotionally wrecking for both of you.

As the team lined up to thank the supporters, you caught his eye, but you didn't even know what to do. You brought yourself to at least give him a slight nod, something that acknowledged him and hopefully translated that you understood what this loss meant to him. The team dispersed afterwards, carrying equipment off of the court.

You, and the rest of the crowd, started leaving the stands, the students all leaving the gym, a few sticking around to attempt to cheer up the third years and the team as a whole, but the mood was more than sour. A lot of them were more angry than sad now, but you knew that would all change when they dispersed later on.

You found him with Iwa and the third years, they were talking about taking the team to get ramen for one last team dinner. Tōru quieted when he saw you approaching the group, immediately walking towards you and enveloping you in his arms. You had one arm wrapped around his neck, the other on his back while both of his tightly clung to your sides. You could feel his fists balling up the fabric of your shirt in his frustration, so you gently rubbed his back and neck to hopefully calm him down.

"Thank you, for being here." He mumbled into your neck, it was nearly inaudible. You pressed a kiss to his cheek before you said anything, pulling his head off of your shoulder so he could see your eyes.

"I wouldn't have missed it, no matter the outcome." Tears glazed his eyes, but he wouldn't let them fall. You could tell he was trying to stay strong until they were more alone. You rubbed his arms and shoulders, successfully helping him collect himself so he could get back to what he was just talking about.

"We're going to take the team over to the Chinese Ramen & Gyoza place a few blocks over by the school, you wanna come?" He asked you, his eyes pleading for a yes.

You looked past him at Iwa, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki, quietly asking them with a look if it'd be ok if you tagged along. They all nodded, small smiles appearing on their faces. They knew how important to Tōru you were, and it helped that they loved having you around to talk to. You played a variety of sports for fun, none of them for club because you focused more on arts. But, you knew enough to make real conversation about volleyball and could play along if they wanted you to.

"If you want me there, I'd be more than happy to join." You said, finding that Tōru always appreciated your asking of his permission to join the team on events like this. He loves you, of course, but sometimes the team needs to only be the team, not the team plus the captain's partner. Tōru nodded and extended his hand for you to take, and after you had he pulled you towards the other third-years and together you went to collect the team.

While everyone was eating, some were crying and others were reminiscing, some just chatting as if it was a normal day. Tōru and the third years were yelling about how much he was eating, but you were just glad they had found something to laugh about. You watched the group of friends, remembering what it was like when you were all first-years and they had won their first game. They came here, devoured an ungodly amount of food, then went to a park and played more. Several of them threw up. Despite all the vomit, you remembered the day fondly, after all it was the day he'd asked you out for the first time.

You thought he was just riding the high of winning his first high school match when it happened, you went as far as jokingly saying no the first time because you thought he wasn't serious. You weren't even on the team, you couldn't dream of a reason why he'd be interested in you as more than a friend. He persisted though, and eventually convinced you that he was serious about wanting to go out with you. He got frustrated back then too, but you had no idea how to go about cheering him up. You almost always tried to offer him a solution or say that things would be fine, if he just would relax. He hated that. Nearly broke up with you a few times over it. However, that was during the first maybe six months of your relationship, when you were both much younger.

As you'd gotten older, he more clearly communicated with you what he liked or didn't when he was upset, and you learned more as you just spent more time with him. You'd both grown significantly since your first years, but you always grew together and got closer, never apart.

Eventually everyone had finished eating their food while you were daydreaming of the past, Tōru was tugging on your hand to get your attention.

"We're heading out, y/n." He said, and you quickly got up and followed him out where the rest of the team was saying their goodnights. The second and first years stuck together and went in one direction, the third years going in another, nobody quite giving a precise plan.

Tōru and Iwa yelled at each other for a few minutes, about how good their sets and spikes were, and how they should've won. How Karasuno was only barely better than them, not by a large margin at all. Tōru claimed that everyone should be mad at him for messing up the last play, he'd reacted to the ball but it hadn't gone in the right direction, and had ended up hitting the court behind him. Iwa practically threw him for it, insisting that he not blame himself for the entire loss.

Then, they came to the realization that they'd wandered right back to their volleyball gym at Seijoh. Deciding not to waste such a wonderful opportunity, they shed their jackets and got out a few volleyballs and set up the net. You had flashbacks to the vomiting of the first game, but luckily they'd avoided a recreation of that incident. You joined them in their games, and everyone played until it'd gotten dark out. They'd started packing up the gym since they didn't want to get in trouble, when Tōru yelled at everyone to listen to him. You weren't sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn't him yelling a thank you to everyone for the past three years.

He, and all the third-years broke into tears then. The pain of never getting to compete on a national stage even if they felt they were more than qualified, combined with it being possibly the last game they all played together, it was just too much. Everyone grouped together, hugging each other and trying to remember all the good times they'd had as a team.

Maybe fifteen minutes later they dispersed, and it was only you, Tōru, and Iwa as you walked towards your neighborhood. Iwa and Tōru shared one last moment together, and finally it was just you and him.

He was quiet on your walk back home, but he held your hand tightly and you could hear him sniffle every few minutes. You ended up at his door, but he wasn't even close to letting go of your hand as he opened the door. Again, his eyes were pleading with yours, begging you not to leave him, not now. You obliged him, and he pulled you inside and up to his room.

He tossed his bag into a corner of his room, along with his jacket. He rummaged through his closet and pulled out a few pairs of sweats, tossing one to you and keeping one for himself. You quickly changed, grateful that he wasn't expecting you to sleep in jeans, you honestly couldn't put it past him, he wasn't the most forward-thinking when it came to the small stuff. After he'd changed, he climbed onto his bed, and sat, his back against the wall, his long legs nearly reaching the end of the queen-sized bed.

You sat next to him, asking if he wanted to talk about it at all. He didn't say anything which was response enough, so you just kept him company. He took your hand in his again, lightly rubbing his thumb over yours mindlessly, every now and again stealing glances at the corner of his room covered in volleyball memorabilia from high school and junior high.

"Why weren't we ever good enough?" He choked, his voice frail from yelling and crying nearly all day. "How did we not make it nationals, even once?" His free hand wiped the tears that had started to fall down his face.

You didn't know what to say, you honestly weren't sure why or how the team had never made it to nationals. The first two years they managed to get to the very end of the Interhigh and playoffs, but Shiratorizawa was always the final obstacle, and they had always lost to them. Then this year, they didn't even make it to the end of playoffs, they got defeated earlier because of Karasuno.

"Tōru, there's not ever been a day where I thought you would fail." You started, his attention turning to you. You met his eyes, "And there never will be. This isn't the end for you, you haven't peaked yet. The same goes for everyone on your team, high school isn't when athletes meet their full potential." He looked like he was trying to understand, to believe you, but he couldn't quite. "The reason your team didn't make it to high school nationals, is because you are all slowly working to go even higher. You were meant more for internationals than just nationals."

He moved so he was sitting directly in front of you, so he could see your face straight on. "I love you, Tōru, and I can't wait to see what countries you drag me to during your career." To your surprise, you felt tears falling from your eyes, soon seeing them from Tōru's as well.

He fell into you, quietly sobbing into your shoulder as you held him, his arms wound tightly around you, yours gently around him as you lightly scratched his back or massaged his neck, changing your method of soothing as time passed.

You had no way of knowing how long you stayed like this with him, but there came a point where he had run out of fluid in his body to lose through his eyes.

"I think," You whispered to him, "we should get some sleep." He mumbled a response, which you decided was a yes, and he rolled off of you.

He pulled back the blankets on his bed and buried himself, but held up the blankets so you could get in close to him without messing with them. You burrowed in with him, and immediately you felt his arms warping around you, making you the little spoon despite it usually being what he wanted. You didn't protest though, and let him cradle you. You realized that throughout the day, there hadn't been a moment where he'd held you casually, or anything other than just as tight as he could manage.

You realized it was likely because today he'd lost the grip on a dream he'd had since junior high, he didn't want the same for his relationship with you. You were more than important to him, you were a part of his life he wouldn't be able to function without. If he lost you like he did his dream of going to nationals...well you didn't want to think about it.

Your thoughts quieted when you heard his breathing steady out, and his grip on you loosened just a bit as he fell into a deep sleep. You turned your head as much as you could without possibly waking him, and carefully planted a kiss on his forehead, whispering a goodnight to him.

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