Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996)
What circumstances could’ve possibly led to the making of Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace a.k.a. Lawnmower Man 2: Jobe's War? There couldn't have been too many fans of the original thanks to its flagrant disregard for the source material, terrible special effects and hammy characters. Even if you did enjoy it unironically, this sequel isn’t for you because it directly contradicts the ending of the first film before repeating everything it did in the last act for about an hour. At best, this picture can be enjoyed as something that’s “So Bad It’s Good”. Even so, it doesn't measure up to its predecessor. This is a movie without an audience.
Six years after the events of the first film, now 16-year-old Peter Parkette (Austin O’Brien) lives in a cyberpunk Los Angeles with a group of runaway teens. This futuristic society’s favorite pastime is navigating through virtual reality, which makes them vulnerable to the megalomaniacal Jonathan Walker (Kevin Conway) and the Chiron Chip he's developing with the help of Jobe Smith (Matt Frewer) - now legless, disfigured and living nearly entirely in cyberspace. What the corporate tycoon doesn’t realize is that Jobe has sinister plans of his own; plans only the Chiron Chip’s creator, Dr. Benjamin Trace (Patrick Bergin), can thwart.
Forget the “dun, dun, dun!” ending of The Lawnmower Man. Forget the fact that Jobe’s body was clearly disintegrated, that he went on a murderous rampage sending cyberbees after people and setting others on fire. In fact, forget most of the movie. Remember only the vague idea that Jobe was experimented upon until he became a galaxy-brained virtual world wizard. As for whether you should remember that he’s evil or not… I’m not sure. The film has an obvious villain in the form of Jonathan Walker but he eventually gets supplanted by Jobe, who wants to become a cybergod and rule over all humanity. First, he has to destroy the real world by ruining people’s credit ratings, making ATMs spit out money non-stop, and messing around with the water & power supply. He knows that within minutes, such disruptions will have people jacking onto the internet so hard they’ll never want to jack off again. No, that’s not me making a joke. I’m demonstrating what the funniest part of this movie is. Not the special effects (which are actually better than the ones we saw in 1992); the constant stream of unintentional references to masturbation.
If it wasn’t obvious already, the film’s writing is ghastly. It’s only been six years since Jobe’s ascension, making this Blade Runner-lite LA as convincing as low-budget 1996 CGI. It’s clear Farhad Mann - whose name appears in the end credits at least 5 times - really wanted to make a cyberpunk movie but couldn’t figure out how to make this set this sequel in the future while still featuring the same boy Jobe befriended when he was a simpleton. Speaking of that friendship, we’re told that Jobe suffered burns on 80% of his body, that his legs had to be amputated and his face was reconstructed. Is that why Peter recognizes him immediately? The film doesn’t even do the obvious thing, which is to have Jobe appear as he originally did in Cyberspace and then morph his appearance to look like his current self to create that bridge. That’s a nitpick, really. This film is loaded with dubious security measures, technology that makes no sense and relationships that would have even aliens who’ve never encountered people raising their eyebrows. Why Dr. Cori Platt (Ely Pouget) and Dr. Trace suddenly fall in love, no one could say.
Beyond Cyberspace/Jobe’s War is inferior to The Lawnmower Man in every way, and since its plot is basically a repeat of the former’s last act, there’s really no reason to watch it, except one. Without a doubt, this film features the best “we don’t really know what hacking is like” scene of all time. Instead of a password, we've got a mathematical equation that needs to be solved. Said equation then turns into a virtual maze the characters have to navigate through. Combined with the techno jargon soup, it’s a laugh-out-loud riot that plays out like a cross between magic and an FMV video game puzzle. I wish I could commit to memory the exact words exchanged but it’s impossible; those lines could never be written down or uttered by a person whose sanity is intact. For that alone, Lawnmower Man 2 might be worth checking out if you like bad movies and you had a great time with the first. (May 7, 2022)
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HBO Max New Releases: December 2021
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Wake up, Neo.
It’s December 2021 and to celebrate HBO Max is bringing back a classic sci-fi franchise for one last ride. The list of new releases on HBO Max this month is highlighted by The Matrix Resurrections on Dec. 22. This is the long-awaited return to the reality-bending saga from The Wachowskis. Writer/director Lana Wachowski returns as do stars Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss as Neo and Trinity, respectively. This time around it’s 20 years after The Matrix Revolutions and “Neo lives a seemingly ordinary life as Thomas A. Anderson in San Francisco where his therapist prescribes him blue pills. Neither he nor Trinity recognize each other. However, Morpheus offers him the red pill and reopens his mind to the world of the Matrix.”
While The Matrix Resurrections is the big draw this time around, HBO Max has some other intriguing originals to speak of. The David Thewlis and Olivia Colman-starring limited series Landscapers premieres on Dec. 6. That’s followed by Sex and the City revival And Just Like That… on Dec. 9 and post-apocalyptic drama Station Eleven on Dec. 16. Young Justice even gets back in on the action with season 4 part A premiering on Dec. 30.
It’s also a strong month for library titles. Jackie Brown, No Country for Old Men, and Interview with the Vampire arrive on Dec. 1. Then Space Jam: A New Legacy (Dec. 2) and The Suicide Squad (Dec. 23) return to HBO Max a bit later on.
HBO Max New Releases – December 2021
December 1
12 Strong, 2018 (HBO)
20 Feet from Stardom, 2013 (HBO)
Adrienne, Documentary Premiere (HBO)
A Perfect Murder, 1998 (HBO)
All I See Is You, 2016 (HBO)
All Rise, Seasons 1 and 2
The Answer Man, 2009 (HBO)
Blade II, 2002
Bolero, 1984 (HBO)
Breakdown, 1997 (HBO)
Changing Lanes, 2002 (HBO)
Chicago, 2002
Cloud Atlas, 2012
Control Room, 2004 (HBO)
Crazy, Stupid, Love., 2011
Days Of Thunder, 1990 (HBO)
Dragged Across Concrete, 2018 (HBO)
Enough Said, 2013 (HBO)
Finding Jesus: Faith, Fact, Forgery, 2015
Frontera, 2014 (HBO)
The Good Doctor, 2011 (HBO)
The Haunting In Connecticut, 2009 (HBO)
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, 2012 (HBO)
Interview with the Vampire, 1994
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, 2013 (HBO)
The Italian Job, 2003 (HBO)
Jack The Giant Slayer, 2013 (HBO)
Jackie Brown, 1997 (HBO)
Jupiter Ascending, 2015
The Lawnmower Man, 1992 (HBO)
Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, 1996 (HBO)
Limbo, 2020 (HBO)
Little Monsters, 1989 (HBO)
The Mask, 1994
Max Steel, 2016 (HBO)
Miss Congeniality, 2000
Mortal Kombat, 1995
Mortal Kombat: Battle of the Realms, 2021
The Muppets Take Manhattan, 1984
No Country For Old Men, 2007 (HBO)
Percy Jackson Sea Of Monsters, 2013 (HBO)
Pope: The Most Powerful Man In History, 2018
Pulse, 2006 (HBO)
R.I.P.D., 2013 (HBO)
Rubber, 2010 (HBO)
Runner Runner, 2013 (HBO)
Se7en, 1995
Shark Night 3D, 2011 (HBO)
Surrogates, 2009 (HBO)
Troll Hunter, 2010 (HBO)
The Truman Show, 1998 (HBO)
Two For The Money, 2005 (HBO)
Two Lovers, 2008 (HBO)
Viva, 2015 (HBO)
War On Everyone, 2016 (HBO)
The Wedding Singer, 1998
The Wolfpack, 2015 (HBO)
World’s Greatest Dad, 2009 (HBO)
The Wrecking Crew!, 2008 (HBO)
XXX, 2002
December 2
Music Box: Listening to Kenny G, Documentary Premiere (HBO)
Odo, Cartoonito Season 1 Premiere
Perfect Life (Vida Perfecta), Max Original Season 2 Premiere
Santa Inc., Max Original Animated Series Premiere
Space Jam: A New Legacy, 2021 (HBO) (Available in 4K UHD, HDR10, Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos in English only on supported devices.)
December 3
Breathe the Night
Craig of the Creek, Season 3
Hood River, 2021
Mike & Molly
Yerba Buena (HBO), 2020
December 4
The Last O.G., Seasons 1-3
At the Ready, 2021
Drew Michael: Red Blue Green., Stand-Up Comedy Special Premiere (HBO)
December 5
Kamikaze, Max Original Season Finale
December 6
The Forever Prisoner, Documentary Premiere (HBO)
Landscapers, Limited Series Premiere (HBO)
December 7
The Slow Hustle, Documentary Premiere (HBO)
December 9
A Thousand Fangs (aka Mil Colmillos), Season 1
And Just Like That…, Max Original Season 1 Premiere
Gossip Girl Season 1, Finale
Music Box: Mr. Saturday Night, Documentary Premiere (HBO)
The Sex Lives of College Girls, Max Original Season 1 Finale
Summer Camp Island, Max Original Season 5 Premiere
December 10
Dafne and the Rest (aka Todo lo Otro) , Max Original Season 1 Premiere
DC’s Stargirl, Season 2
December 12
Succession, Season 3 Finale (HBO)
December 14
The Murders at Starved Rock, Documentary Series Premiere (HBO)
December 15
What’s New Scooby-Doo?, 2002
December 16
2nd Annual HA Festival: The Art of Comedy, Max Original Comedy Special
Diego, The Last Goodbye (Diego, el último adiós), Max Original Documentary
The Cut (aka O Grande Look) , Max Original Season 1 Premiere
Finding Magic Mike, Max Original Season 1 Premiere
The Fungies, Max Original Season 3 Premiere
Music Box: Juice Wrld: Into the Abyss, Documentary Premiere (HBO)
Station Eleven, Max Original Season 1 Premiere
December 17
A Forbidden Orange , Max Original Premiere
December 20
You Keep the Kids (Mama o Papa)
December 21
Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, Season Finale (HBO)
December 22
After the Sunset, 2004
The Matrix Resurrections, Warner Bros. Film Premiere, 2021 (Only available on the $14.99/month Ad-Free plan. Streaming in the US only for a limited time. Available in 4K UHD, HDR10, Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos in English only on supported devices.)
December 23
40 Means Nothing (aka 40 No es Nada), Max Original Season 1 Premiere
Beforeigners S2, Max Original Season 2 Premiere
The Suicide Squad, 2021 (HBO) (Available in 4K UHD, HDR10, Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos in English only on supported devices.)
December 24
Black Jesus, 2014
December 26
Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 11 Finale (HBO)
Insecure, Season 5 Finale (HBO)
December 30
Young Justice, Max Original Season 4 Part A
December 31
How to With John Wilson, Season 2 Finale (HBO)
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Leaving HBO Max – December 2021
December 16
CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute, 2020
December 18
The Invisible Man, 2020 (HBO)
December 19
King Richard, 2021
December 24
Fifty Shades Of Black, 2016 (HBO)
December 31
Abuelos (Aka Grandpas), 2019 (HBO)
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Jr., 2009
Alpha And Omega 2: A Howl-Iday Adventure, 2013
American Graffiti, 1973 (HBO)
Assault On Precinct 13, 1976 (HBO)
Bangkok Dangerous, 2008 (HBO)
Beautiful Girls, 1996 (HBO)
Black Christmas, 2019 (HBO)
Blackhat, 2015 (HBO)
Bratz: The Movie, 2007
Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason, 2004 (HBO)
The Cable Guy, 1996
Casi Famoso (Aka Almost Famous), 2019 (HBO)
Cats, 2019 (HBO)
The Collection, 2012 (HBO)
Cousins, 1989 (HBO)
Curse Of The Pink Panther, 1983 (HBO)
Dante’s Peak, 1997 (HBO)
Dear Christmas, 2020
Dim Sum Funeral, 2009 (HBO)
Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead, 1991 (HBO)
The Doors, 1991 (HBO)
Downhill, 2020 (HBO)
Dr. Strangelove, 1964
Emma. (2020), 2020 (HBO)
Employee Of The Month, 2006 (HBO)
The English Patient, 1996 (HBO)
Eve’s Bayou, 1997
Flashpoint, 1984 (HBO)
Friends With Money, 2006
Gandhi, 1982
God’s Not Dead, 2014 (HBO)
Gods And Monsters, 1998 (HBO)
He Said She Said, 1991 (HBO)
Heaven Help Us, 1985 (HBO)
Hitch, 2005
Ira & Abby, 2007 (HBO)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1, 2003 (HBO)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2, 2004 (HBO)
Kramer Vs. Kramer, 1979
Leapfrog: Math Adventure To The Moon, 2010
Leapfrog: Numbers Ahoy, 2011
Leapfrog: The Letter Factory, 2003
Like Mike, 2002 (HBO)
Like Mike 2: Streetball, 2007 (HBO)
Los Futbolisimos (Aka The Footballest), 2018 (HBO)
Lucky, 2017 (HBO)
Machine Gun Preacher, 2011 (HBO)
The Manhattan Project, 1986 (HBO)
Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, 1939
My Left Foot, 1989
Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Always, 2020 (HBO)
The Pallbearer, 1996 (HBO)
Perpetual Planet: Heroes Of The Oceans, 2021
The Pink Panther 2, 2009 (HBO)
The Pink Panther Strikes Again, 1976 (HBO)
The Pink Panther, 2006 (HBO)
The Pink Panther, 1964 (HBO)
Pups United, 2015
The Raven, 2012 (HBO)
Reasonable Doubt, 2014 (HBO)
Reds, 1981 (HBO)
Return Of The Living Dead III, 1993 (Alternate Version) (HBO)
Return Of The Pink Panther, 1975 (HBO)
Revenge Of The Pink Panther, 1978 (HBO)
The Sessions, 2012 (HBO)
Shakespeare In Love, 1998
A Shot In The Dark, 1964 (HBO)
Snake Eyes, 1998 (HBO)
Son Of The Pink Panther, 1993 (HBO)
Trail Of The Pink Panther, 1982 (HBO)
Twelve Monkeys, 1995 (HBO)
Vaca, 2018 (HBO)
Volunteers, 1985 (HBO)
Won’t Back Down, 2012 (HBO)
xXx, 2002
xXx: State Of The Union, 2005
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