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laxmiree · 2 months ago

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[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Sinking and Floating in Indulgence MQ translation + video with sub EN (Part 1/3)

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for an MQ that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Sinking and Floating in Indulgence MQ | Part 1 (1-3) | Part 2 (4-5) | Part 3 (6) | 🔞Secret Space ASMR🔞

[Warning]: The content of this MQ is explicit and may not be suitable for individuals under the age of 17 (CN server). It is recommended that those who do not meet this age requirement refrain from proceeding beyond this point.

cw: trauma, injury, near-death experience, (mutual) confinement, arguably justified drug use, intimacy as a coping mechanism for PTSD, consent is implied rather than stated. Please proceed with caution and avoid reading if these topics may be distressing or uncomfortable for you.

Special thanks to ivi (@ivioivioivi on twitter) for helping me with the translation of this date~

[Subbed Video, TURN ON CC!]

youtube

✂———————–

[Transcript Ver]

—[Part 1]—

I feel like I'm going to die.

The world is spinning, and the sudden sense of weightlessness crushes my heart as if it could burst at any moment.

I cross my hands and press my head tightly against the back of the seat. The oxygen mask on my face inflates and deflates with my rapid breathing, and white mist engulfs the breathing bag in the blink of an eye.

Captain: Our plane has encountered an unexpected situation during the flight...

Captain: Please fasten your seatbelts... Do not panic...

The hoarse announcements, deafening roars, and helpless cries collide chaotically, pulling me into a state of bewildered despair.

…Am I going to die here?

A figure appears before my eyes, and amidst the violent turbulence, his face seems to grow increasingly blurred.

Several pieces of luggage crash from above, hitting my shoulders and completely shattering all my thoughts.

The scenery outside the porthole speeds past in reverse, with raging flames and thick black smoke seemingly burning wildly in my eyes, leaving only silent pleas and prayers.

??: Buddha, please protect us...

??: No...

As an invisible huge wall slams into me, the air in my lungs feels as if it’s being forcibly squeezed out. Amid the piercing roar, my consciousness is gradually torn and pulled away.

MC: Lucien…

=Meanwhile in another place=

Deep beneath the surface, bright light illuminates the rough concrete walls and rows of metal instruments. Several blonde researchers move back and forth through the somewhat modest laboratory.

Lucien stands in front of the second-floor platform, calmly looking down without revealing any emotion.

A foreign gentleman stands beside him, his profound green eyes gleaming sharply as he raises his palm.

??: Doctor X, I didn’t expect our formal meeting to occur at such a chaotic moment.

Lucien: Indeed, it is a bit unexpected.

Lucien: However, to smoothly avoid the turmoil in such a short time and maintain such a well-equipped research environment...

Lucien pauses, his narrow eyes showing a faint smile devoid of warmth.

Lucien: It seems that aside from research, Professor Holden also holds considerable authority in other areas.

Holden: Professor Lucien, if you want to stay in such a volatile place, you must be well-prepared.

Holden: Risks and rewards always go hand in hand.

Lucien: In that case, I think we can further accelerate the pace of the experiment to minimize the risk.

Lucien: I don’t intend to let meaningless disruptions become the key turning points of the past several months I’ve worked on.

A silent tension faintly brews. Feeling a slight sense of pressure, Holden raises an eyebrow and places one hand on the railing in front of him.

Holden: I’m just as eager as you are, Professor.

Holden: But in these chaotic times, there are always accidents.*

As if in response to his words, a barely perceptible hum comes from above. The ceiling trembles slightly, shedding a shower of fine gravel.

But everyone present seems accustomed to it, continuing their work unfazed.

Lucien also looks up without surprise, gazing into the distance.

Lucien: Accidents are meant to be controlled and enjoyed.

Lucien: Chaos will ultimately become the catalyst for new discoveries, and that’s why I chose to work with you in the first place.

As he speaks, he turns and walks away. Just as he steps into the open elevator, a voice calls out with a laugh from behind.

Holden: With Professor Lucien joining us, I suppose we should indeed be more confident.

Lucien doesn’t respond. With a loud rumble, the old elevator doors slowly closed behind him.

The sound of metal grinding outside the elevator continues to roar persistently, like the distant echoes of endless artillery fire.

The fading afternoon sunlight streams in from outside as the elevator doors open.

Three days have passed since the meeting with Professor Holden.

The lab operates around the clock, almost pushing time to its limit, but the results are still not ideal.

Just as Lucien expected.

He extends his fingertip, verifying one fingerprint scan after another, before stepping out of the unassuming old factory.

The scent of gunpowder constantly assaults his nostrils. Scattered armed personnel stand guard in front of barbed wire fences among the crumbling ruins on both sides.

Lucien walks steadfastly through this land where turmoil is the norm. Only when he passes a corner does he finally stop and take out his phone.

The signal bars silently returned to full. While waiting, he looks up at the sky not far away.

A vast expanse of dark clouds churns and burns fiercely. Soon, the phone in his palm vibrates.

Lucien opens the message box and sees a text from the girl six hours ago, informing him of her boarding.

She is on a private plane back with several film industry executives. He instinctively calculates her estimated arrival time in Loveland City—

She will land in about four hours. His expression softens unconsciously, and a hint of a smile appears at the corner of his lips.

Lucien's Message: Miss Producer, you must be tired from your business trip. Thinking about how you'll be home soon… I feel a little lonely too.

Lucien's Message: Looks like I want to wrap up my work early so I can get home sooner to see you.

Pressing the send button, he hears an increasingly loud whirring sound that continues to fill the air.

Lucien looks up again. In the distance, a small passenger plane makes a sharp turn and plummets, veering at an unusual trajectory. Thick black smoke billows from its right wing.

A fighter jet closes in from behind as the passenger plane plunges into the distance, skimming beneath the low-hanging clouds.

In an instant, it merges with the smoke.

He watches calmly, then looks down to confirm that his message has been sent successfully before turning to leave.

The dust floats in the wind and settles on his shoulder.

In a world where people depart at any moment, he simply reaches out to brush off the dust before walking away in the direction he came from.

✂———————–

[T/N]

*: 意外 (yìwài) is the keyword of this date. It refers to something unforeseen, whether a surprising event or an unfortunate incident. This word generally means "unexpected" or "accident." But to keep the repetition intact and considering how, more often than not, it carries a slightly negative connotation of things going wrong, I choose to only use "accident" to translate the word throughout the whole date.

✂———————–

—[Part 2]— Video Timestamp: [04:02]

Plop—

Hearing the abrupt noise, I immediately press myself against the wall, shaking as I tighten my grip on the scalpel in my hand.

In my narrow field of vision, a hunched old woman passes by the intersection.

Her figure is shrouded in gray, and with each unsteady step, a patch of nearly black bloodstain on her back comes into view, sending a violent shudder through me.

I finally realize that I haven’t truly escaped death—

I’ve merely fallen from one desperate situation into another.

Three hours ago.

Co-Pilot: We are currently unable to determine the captain’s physical and mental condition...

Co-Pilot: Amid the chaos, the aircraft veered off its autopilot route and entered the airspace of a conflict zone, where it encountered a warning attack...

Co-Pilot: Although we managed to make an emergency landing, the current situation remains unclear...

Co-Pilot: We will continue to do everything possible to contact the airline and relevant authorities.

In a crude medical shelter, with his right arm wrapped in a rough bandage, the co-pilot speaks heavily.

Several fellow passengers frown, wanting to say something, but in the end, it turns into a few muttered curses.

Faced with the absent-minded captain, he almost single-handedly managed to execute an emergency landing in the woods.

He then proceeded to provide emergency bandages to the more seriously injured passengers in an orderly manner.

With the communication equipment failing, he relies on his memory of the flight path before the crash, leading the group toward a possible inhabited area.

It wasn’t until dark that we finally found a rundown bungalow on the city's outskirts, flying a Red Cross flag, where we fortunately received temporary assistance.

Everything feels like some kind of miracle in the midst of immense misfortune.

Co-Pilot: I suggest we stay here for now. This place is relatively safe and on the other hand...

Co-Pilot: We have several seriously injured passengers who can’t be easily moved.

Passenger: Can’t we ask them to go somewhere with a signal and contact the embassy for us?

As the words are spoken, the rushing wind carries a pungent scent of blood. They speak anxiously in a language we don't understand, pushing a surgical trolley as they rush into the building.

They already have their hands full with the constant influx of injured people.

No one speaks again, and I lower my head as well.

By great fortune, I’ve survived the disaster.

Gratitude and trance consume me at the same time. At this moment, I don’t even know how much time has passed—it feels like time has frozen into a blurry black mass.

Will Lucien know that something has happened to me?

Will my flight make the news as a ghost flight? Will he see the reports saying my fate is unknown?

I bite my lips tightly, trying to force my muddled mind to think, but my eyes slowly grow wet.

I can’t even imagine what Lucien would look like at that moment, but I know very well that staying here is the safest and most responsible choice for both him and me.

...I must survive.

✂———————–

Boom—The distant sound of what seems to be a collapse suddenly pulls me back to reality.

We’ve underestimated the level of chaos here; accidents can happen at any moment.

The conflict has reached the camp, and in the urgent evacuation, there’s only a loud noise left in the world.

When I come to my senses, I find myself alone, with nothing but a rust-covered scalpel that I don’t even remember holding.

The streets are even more desolate after dark, and I force myself to stay alert almost instinctively.

What should I do? How can I survive?

Only deathly silence answers me.

I clench my hand repeatedly, trying to force myself to stop trembling, but it’s no use.

Suddenly, a click sounds from behind me, and a cold sweat instantly soaks my skin.

Someone has appeared behind me, stepping on shards of glass.

I tremble so much that I can barely breathe, forcing myself to silently hide the scalpel in my sleeve. Turning around, I raise both hands to show that I mean no harm.

What comes into view is a pair of black leather shoes covered in ashes, yet there’s not a single crease or scuff on them.

They are not combat boots, nor do they bear any traces of blood, which makes me breathe a sudden and grateful sigh of relief.

Perhaps someone from the medical team has found me. With that thought in mind, I lift my head, only to find myself staring into a pair of familiar eyes.

Those dark, indifferent eyes seem to contract intensely the moment they see me.

The world suddenly loses all sound, and on the eerily empty street, Lucien stands across from me.

MC: ….

I don’t dare to move, not even to blink.

It feels like a grand hallucination on the verge of collapse, one that’s ready to burst like a bubble the moment I move.

My blurred vision makes his face even more indistinct, and that figure also seems to walk toward me in a daze.

He, too, seems to hold his breath. His steps gradually quicken, stirring the hem of his coat and the dust in the air until he stops right in front of me.

His chest seems to tremble uncontrollably, and his slightly shaking fingertips fall upon my face. Cold. Undeniably real.

Lucien: …MC?

His low, hoarse voice feels both near and distant, leaving me dazed as I gaze at him, feeling his uneasy yet fearful touch brush against my cheek.

MC: …Lucien, is it really… you?

MC: Am I… going insane?

Lucien: [his shaky breath as he speaks༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽] …Fool, how could I… be just your hallucination?

He lifts my hand and brushes it against his cheek as if confirming*.

The cold, dry sensation spreads through my fingertips, and just like that, the tension that had been stretched to its limit finally snaps.

MC: Lucien…..

MC: Lucien… I’m… so scared…

I don’t know how I appear in his eyes at this moment. All I want is to hold him tightly. To be held tightly by him.

His unbearably tight embrace brings pain, but it’s the reality I desperately need right now.

This man who has always been effortlessly composed now seems to have lost all sense of restraint.

Lucien: [still shakily gasping] …It’s okay.

Lucien: It’s okay now… MC.

He murmurs the words over and over, I don’t even know if he’s saying them for me or for himself.

Lucien: I’m here…

Lucien: I'm right here by your side... Don't be afraid...

The head resting against my shoulder feels so, so heavy as if something even weightier has sunk into the depth of our souls along with it.

I don’t know how long I’ve been crying.

Only when I have finally let out all my emotions and lean into his embrace do I realize that I’ve arrived in a warm place—

Surrounded by irregular rock walls, the air is filled with a damp, mineral scent.

The rising steam soothes my nerves, and I tug at his collar with more ease.

MC: It's okay now, Lucien...

MC: I'm not afraid anymore...

Lucien: [in a soft, hoarse voice] I’m afraid.

His voice is so faint it feels like a figment of my imagination. I want to turn my head to look at him but find myself gently and firmly held in his embrace.

Lucien: It’s safe here. I’m staying here for now.

Peering over his shoulder, I see an open door leading to a clean bed, a few sofas, and a table.

In the corner of my vision, a gray toothbrush rests inside a glass cup, and the razor I gave him is neatly placed.

I freeze for a moment, feeling like something is off.

MC: Didn’t you say you were on a business trip…?

Lucien: I am, and I’ve indeed been staying here for a few days.

Lucien: I know you must have a lot of questions. To be honest, so do I.

Lucien: But right now… there’s something even more important to me.

Following his lowered gaze, I see the dirt covering me and my tattered clothes, torn in places I don’t know.

My drooping strands of hair are covered in dust, resting against Lucien’s clean shirt.

MC: I got your shirt dirty.

Lucien: ...Stop saying such silly things.

He gently pecks the space between my brows, his fingertips naturally undoing the loosened buttons on my clothes.

MC: Lu—!

Lucien: Shh….

His lips move downward, pressing insistently against the corner of mine.

Though very light, it is filled with an undeniable firmness.

Lucien: [gasps breathlessly] Don’t push me away.

Lucien: [X2] I also need to confirm that you're really here with me.

Lucien: [X3] Let me help you… okay?

It isn’t really a question. His voice lingers at the edge of my lips, flowing with his breath, making my head feel light and dazed. Instinctively, I nod at him.

His fingers move slowly yet deftly. Bit by bit, patches of deep bruises become more visible.

His warmth spreads through me faster than the cold.

I’m too embarrassed to look at him, so I bury my face deep into his chest instead. I feel him scoop me up in his arms and carefully lower me into the bathtub’s warm water.

The sudden heat stings me, jolting me awake as I grab Lucien’s wrist.

MC: Wait, the other passengers I was with, because of the conflict, they’re now…

Lucien: Don’t worry, someone will take care of it.

Lucien: [whispers hoarsely] Right now, only you matter the most to me.

There seems to be something growing wildly beneath his calm gaze. He subtly and seamlessly intertwines his fingers with mine, gently submerging my body into the water.

The deep and shallow bruises appear even more striking in the clear water. A dull ache seeps into the water, causing a small, instinctive sigh to spill from my lips.

Lucien: Relax.

He applies slight pressure, gently prying apart my fingers that are curled around my knees. Carefully avoiding the bruises on my thighs, his hand presses downward.

MC: [moans] L-lucien…

Lucien: [whispers hoarsely] I just want to help you relax a little more.

Lucien: [gently] At least for this moment, be a good girl... okay?

Another question that isn’t really a question.

I can’t get a single word out**, so I can only bite my lower lip, watching as he kneels by the bathtub, a soft towel in his hand, lightly stroking over my arm.

Lucien: Does it hurt?

His low, hoarse voice is caught in his throat as if suppressing something before finally smoothing into a calm steadiness.

MC: …A little.

Lucien: [chuckles, then whispers softly] Then I’ll be gentler.

His gentle, unhurried touch warms one arm before moving to the other. Then, it follows the top of my foot, slowly moving upward.

As he leans down, his large shadow envelops my whole body, and I instinctively tremble with each faint mark he leaves behind.

Something seems to be stirring madly in his calm gaze, suppressed within his silence, driving him to confirm me even more deeply and intimately.

I feel as if I’m sinking into the warm water, yet also weightlessly floating with it, my hands instinctively clutching the fabric at his chest tightly.

Lucien: [HOLY THE BREATHLESSNESS AND SUDDEN URGENCY?] …bear with it a little longer… wait for me...

As if to soothe, his even more scorching lips descend, teasingly hooking and coaxing my lips and tongue, relentlessly drawing me in.

At some point, his entire body has also become drenched, his drooping bangs soaked with water, revealing those unfathomably profound eyes.

Lucien: [whispers hoarsely] I'll help you get rid of all the pain.

✂———————–

[T/N]

*: the wording in Chinese is ambiguous; it could mean either that he is making sure she’s not his hallucination or that he’s reassuring her that he’s real :") and this ambiguousness HURTS bc you know that he also has the same fear as her (this will be expanded more later on memory silhouette). This guy really said, "…Fool, how could I… be just your hallucination?" yet he’s in disbelief himself that she’s real and I’m just SOB-

**: 说不出任何话 literally means "can't say any words at all." However, the nuance is deeper than just the inability to speak. It can imply being so overwhelmed by emotions (orcoughpleasurecough) that speaking becomes impossible. Besides being overwhelmed, it’s also often used when somebody wants to say something but physically/emotionally just cannot.

✂———————–

—[Part 2]— Video Timestamp: [10:36]

Even when carried to the bed, my whole body still feels light and weightless.

An oversized shirt is put over me, its scent different from the dense smell of gunpowder as it carries the light freshness of grass that I’m familiar with.

Lucien casually changes into fresh clothes, grabs a few towels, then pulls me into his arms and smooths back my damp hair.

MC: …How about I do it myself?

MC: It’s inconvenient for you like this, and it’ll just get your clothes wet again.

Lucien: But it seems my hands can’t let go of you… they need your warmth even more.

His gentle yet firm fingertips stroke the back of my neck, resting the side of my forehead against his shoulder. His legs settle on either side of me, enclosing me within his territory.

The world is enveloped in tranquility, with only the rustling sound of a towel rubbing against damp hair remaining.

MC: It must be pretty inconvenient for you here too, there’s not even a hairdryer.

Lucien: Don’t worry, the equipment here is a bit more complete than you think.

His low voice brushes past my ear, making me look up in confusion.

MC: Then why do you…

Lucien: Sound of the hairdryer would make you uncomfortable, so this will do.

I freeze for a moment. That trace of distant rumble and roar still seems to be howling, yet at this moment, they appear to settle into a quiet stillness within his deep eyes.

Only now do I notice more clearly that he seems to be slowing down his breathing as if he's cradling something fragile.

MC: …Do I look like a total mess?

Lucien: How could that be? To me, I never would have imagined that in a place as desolate and ruined as this…

Lucien: I could still be lucky enough to encounter such a beautiful and resilient color.

Lucien: Even though I never wanted you to be here.

Lucien: I can’t help but wonder… if I hadn’t stepped out the door today if I hadn’t turned left...

His words come to an abrupt halt, followed quickly by a faint chuckle that carries a touch of self-mockery.

Like a staunch materialist*, yet hesitating over irrational ‘what ifs’.

The rhythmic beating of his heart echoes in my ears, but that subtle, unintentional quickening of its pace seems to take on another name—

It’s called ‘lingering fear’**.

The arm holding me seems to tighten in the next moment, and I can’t help but clutch the front of his shirt, burrowing myself even deeper into his embrace.

Lucien: Right now, I’m already by your side.

Lucien: I’ll take responsibility for driving away all those unpleasant things lingering in your brain.

MC: Really?

Lucien smiles lightly, and the tension in his brows and eyes finally eases slightly.

Lucien: [chuckles] As a brain scientist, it would be difficult for me to lie to you about this.

Seeing him feign seriousness while explaining, I can’t hide my laughter at his dry joke.

MC: Lucien, let me tell you about my brush with death.

MC: Maybe facing it head-on will make it less frightening.

Lucien doesn’t speak for a moment, only silently changing to a new towel.

I rarely see him like this, so I can’t resist reaching out and gently smooth the furrow between his brows.

MC: [worriedly] Do you want to hear it?

Lucien: …Perhaps, the one who is more afraid is me.

He closes his eyes, presses a light kiss to my fingertips, and finally looks at me with an even deeper calm.

Lucien: I’ll do my best to hold back the ache in my heart and listen carefully.

MC: Lucien, you’re just as much a fool as I am.

Lucien: [genuinely] You're probably the only person in the world who would praise me like that.

In his tender, lingering kisses, I finally steady my mind.

MC: Actually, I still don’t have a clear understanding of what exactly happened during that time.

MC: I only heard the co-pilot say that the captain suddenly had some kind of mental issue…?

MC: Later, our plane accidentally entered a no-fly zone, was threatened, and ultimately had to make an emergency landing.

Lucien's breathing seems to have stagnated for a moment, and his eyes droop slightly.

Lucien: Your plane… Did the right wing get hit?

MC: Hmm? It seems... to be true?

MC: I was sitting on the plane's right side at the time, and all I could see was black smoke. But I was so scared then that I couldn't really tell...

Recalling that scene, I still instinctively curl up in lingering fear, not noticing the way his eyes suddenly contract sharply.

MC: But luckily, everyone was safe. We just kept walking and were rescued by a local civilian medical organization.

MC: But the scene was too chaotic. Later, the gathering site was also affected, and I got separated from the main group during the evacuation.

I pause, looking into his eyes with mixed emotions.

MC: And then I met you.

MC: …All of this is just too unbelievable.

MC: The accidents in this world really catch people completely off guard. I feel like I’ve had the worst luck… but at the same time, I also seem exceptionally fortunate.

Lucien: ….

He falls silent again, it's unclear what he is thinking.

I don’t know how much time has passed. After ensuring my hair has been completely dried, he casually throws the damp towels aside.

The world suddenly quiets down, and Lucien wordlessly raises his hand, his fingertips gently brushing over the bruises on my body.

As our skin touches, a slight itch ripples through my skin, accompanied by an extremely faint pain sensation.

Thinking of his confirmation in the bathtub not long ago, I can’t help but feel my face grow slightly warm again.

I lift my head and kiss the corner of his lips, lingering until our breaths intertwine, then smile and wink at him.

MC: [smiles softly] Don’t worry. With you here, I already feel much better.

MC: When I get up tomorrow, I’ll definitely return to full strength. Then, we can…

As I speak, I suddenly stop, realizing something.

MC: Are we... still near this area?

Seeing him respond softly, my heart tightens.

MC: You said you’ve been here for a few days, so that closed-off lab you mentioned... is it here?

Lucien: Yes.

Lucien: Even though this place is far from tranquil, I have a reason that makes it necessary for me to be here.

His voice possesses a certain indifference and resolve. I gaze at him for a moment before slowly speaking.

MC: Are you doing something dangerous?

Lucien: ….

Under my gaze, Lucien remains silent for a long time, long enough that I almost think he will find some way to sidestep the topic until his low voice finally breaks the silence.

Lucien: The research institution I’m working with now is one I had contact with years ago when I first joined BS.

Lucien: They have a considerable amount of multinational projects, as well as some that can hardly be called ethical or compliant. In one way or another, some covert dealings are involved.

Lucien: All I can say is, yes. The things I’m doing are not safe.

Lucien: So I hope you don’t go anywhere and just stay by my side.

Seeing him be especially frank about his thoughts, I can’t hold back my smile.

MC: Lucien, I'm not asking about myself, I'm asking if you will be in danger.

He freezes for a moment, then smiles without the slightest hesitation.

Lucien: [totally not lying-] No, I won’t.

Lucien: I should be able to get what I want soon, so don’t worry.

He presses a light kiss to my forehead, pulls back the blanket, and wraps me in its softness.

Lucien: [chuckles] But… I think that’s enough of a bedtime story for now.

Lucien: Just like you said, I want to see you full of energy as soon as possible, smiling without any worries or strain.

Looking at his incredibly close face, I smile and lean in closer to his scent.

MC: What should I do? I’m still a little reluctant to sleep.

MC: It might be a bit late to say this now, but after so many days apart, I’ve really missed you all along.

Lucien: Me too.

Lucien: So all you need to do is close your eyes, I will always let you feel my presence and longing.

Like finally returning to the most secure and reassuring home***, I relax and close my eyes.

One after another, incomparably intimate and affectionate kisses fall upon my face and between my lips, as if scattering in tiny, delicate fragments that sink into the depths of my heart—

—until I fall into an exceedingly gentle dream.

When I open my eyes again, daylight is already shining brightly.

Lucien isn’t by the bed. As I get up and step out of bed, I notice that my wounds seem to have been tended once more.

MC: Lucien…?

The room is quiet. Breakfast is laid out on the table, along with a laptop and a slightly old-fashioned phone.

He hasn’t left a note, but I still smile with an unspoken understanding.

I’m just about to wash up when the phone screen suddenly lights up. A message pops up, showing Lucien’s number.

Lucien's message: Good morning MC. I’m already at the lab.

Lucien's message: I’ve arranged for someone to contact and assist the passengers who were with you, so there’s no need to worry.

Lucien's message: I’ve also informed your company that you’re safe. Work matters can be left to them for now.

Lucien's message: Get some rest, I’ll return as soon as I can.

Sunlight spills in from the balcony, and a gentle breeze brushes against my face, carrying a touch of winter’s coldness.

Yet, I don’t feel the biting cold. Instead, there’s a sense of warmth and security.

Though the scene before me remains desolate and ruined, the world feels tranquil right now, free of the terrifying tumultuous noise.

I step onto the balcony and see golden light magnanimously illuminating the earth. A small bird perches under the eaves, occasionally lowering its head to preen its feathers.

A faint wave of emotion wells up in my heart. Perhaps this place would have been entirely different if not for all the turmoil.

But what I’ve never noticed is—

—the little bird on the eaves has only one wing.

✂———————–

[T/N]

*: Materialism is a philosophical belief that only physical matter exists and that everything can be explained through the physical world and natural laws. It also can be a philosophical viewpoint that denies the existence of the spiritual world, fate, and alternative possibilities as only physical matter exists. Materialists prioritize what can be observed, measured, and tested. Lucien mocks himself for speculating about "what ifs", because it involves considering possibilities that may have no empirical grounding, which contradicts materialist core belief that only the physical matters.

**: "后怕" doesn’t refer to *just* fear, but a delayed sense of fear, a realization of how terrifying something was only after it has already passed. He has just come to the realization of how close he was to losing her forever, and it filled him with 后怕. In some contexts, it can even be directly translated into PTSD.

***: I translated it as 'home' for brevity, but the term "归处" (guīchù) is composed of two characters: "归" (guī), meaning "to return", "to belong", or "to take refuge", and "处" (chǔ), meaning "place" or "location". Together, "归处" conveys the idea of a refuge or a place where one truly belongs. For MC, Lucien is not just a home to return to, but also her 'place' of belonging, someone 'where' her heart feels at peace, much like a final destination where one finds solace and stability.

✂———————–

Part 4 & 5-> [Here]

#LONG ASS ANALYSIS/RAMBLE INCOMING #we really can't have spice without pain didn't we #doing it in the bathroom as a way to cope from ptsd is crazy work #mlqc lucien #mr love queen's choice #mlqc cn #mlqc spoiler #mlqc #mlqc translation #mr. love queen's choice #mr love lucien #mlqc xu mo #mlqc spoilers #Youtube

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