#Maggie Doane

[theultimateshowdownofpapalouie]

Hello! Welcome to the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Papa Louie!!

My name is Miles (@sunsetcorvid ) and I am here to offer a tournament of the best Papa Louie character!!!

There are 204 characters in my google doc. A majority of which have flipdeck cards. This post may update before the tournament date with more characters without flipdeck cards. I will randomize pairs and put them against one another. All characters range from each Papa Louie game, and I mean each one.

Only one will remain.

There will not be a bracket, as there are many characters and it stresses me out trying to make something as big as that. So, it will be a surprise on which ones are paired up.

I made this for fun and I hope yall have fun, too!!

We will begin May 15th.

Below are the list of characters.

Wally

Jojo

Kingsley

Pizza Monsters

Quinn

Timm

Sarge

Sarge Fan

Little Edoardo

Papa Louie

Roy

Captain Cori

Gino Romano

Big Pauly

Party Subs

Greg

Marty

Hank

Nick

Rico

Foodini

Yippy

The Onion Ring

Kahuna

Doan

Olga

The Tomatoes

Georgito

Mindy

Boomer

Penny

Bruna Romano

Akari

Pinch Hitwell

Carlo Romano

Johnny

Clover

Hugo

Allan

James

Zoe

Mitch

Connor

Utah

Robby

Rita

Radley Madish

Shannon

Kenji

Wendy

Dill Weeds

Tony Solary

Matt Neff

Prudence

Alberto

Burgerzilla

Peggy

Taylor

Cheddar Macks

Santa

Sliders

Professor Fitz

Scarlett

Awesome Saucer

Edna

Bacoburn

Vicky

Pepper Jack

Maggie

Cooper

Willow

Mandi

Radishes

Chuck

Cheese Wheel

Scooter

Lettuce Lark

Radlynn

Blue Shroom

Cletus

Dill Worms

Ninjoy

Crystal

Jellybacks

Gremmie

Swiss Zack

Lisa

Brussel Larks

Deano

Dill Wheels

Ivy

Luau LePunch

Mary

Sundaesaurus

Mayor Mallow

Thorn Shroom

Nevada

Rocky Road

Bertha

Gummeel

Hacky Zak

Cooladas

Sue

Mallow Men

Kayla

Powseekers

Iggy

Kaiser Onion

Tohru

Cherry Bombs

Rudy

Xandra

Brownie Bop

Ember

Mr. Sherbet

Rhonda

Splashberry Derps

Franco

Sasha

Spearmint

Trishna

Julep

Disco Plumm

Chester

Cecilia

Betty Pecan

Joy

Brody

Cookie Doughmen

Sienna

Clair

Hucklebat

Austin

Skyler

Winter Onion

Whiff

Perri

Chip McMint

Duke Gotcha

Janana

Strawbuzzy

Guy Mortadello

Cherrisa

Jill Berry

Olivia

Vincent

Scuba Radish

Emmlette

Ripley

YUM n’ Ms

Xolo

Wylan B

Banana Pants

Koilee

LePete

Swizzlers

Cameo

Chocomint

Indigo

Gummy Onions

Moe

Fernanda

Coco Cooladas

Mousse

Whippa

Bow Shroom

Skip

Mangoby

The Dynamoe

Liezel

BotWursts

Mr. Bombolony

Okalani

Drakson

Evelyn

Boopsy and Bill

Kasey O

Chase

Daniela

Rollie

Sprinks the Clown

C.J. Friskins

Simone

Didar

Budwin

Treble

Yuko

Amiria

Isadora

Petrona

Pally

Kaleb

Makaila

Lloyd

Steven

Elle

Mesa

Bonnie

Kenton

Hope

Nye

Yalanda

Gabitha

Numarcus

[tiny-wren]

Hm... 🎮 💸 💾🖤🎃📅👨‍🍳 🎞😋🤢 🌌 and🍴 (bakeria if thats ok) for the ask game? Im aware its a lot... guess im just curious!

🎮 taco mia! I started playing hot doggeria extensively right after it though because it was the most recent game out when I started playing

💸umm, I think probably into the 50's/40's? I don't remember exactly, I've never actually finished one...uh......LOL (my attention span does not permit me)

💾i like jacksmith!! I never got into the cactus mccoy games /:

🖤this one is just flame war fodder /j ... least favorite fanon ship is timm/quinn x cecilia, quinn x jojo i dislike too lol, i don't have any strong feelings abt any canon ships they just kinda exist

🎃favorite alt style, this is predictable but I love Quinn's style B...look at that black jacket wawqahawaw!!! Olivia's style B is lovely too... <3 <3<33 I HATE TIMM'S THIRD STYLE FROM PL3 I HATE IT ITS SO AWFUL WHAT IS THAT COLOR SCHEME. RANCID MAN.

📅hot take but i hate new years it burns my eyes why is it like that? i like valentines day though...its cute...onionfest too <3 heart

👨‍🍳favorite chefs!! olivia, wylan b, timm, cecilia, marty and rita, MAGGIE, uhhhhh idk i have a soft spot for a lot of them! least favorite chefs are koilee and carlo. nothing against those characters, I just feel like it was a weird choice? also, i dont care for mocharia but i wanna say this, i'm so glad allan and akari became chefs TOGETHER like i wanted them to be besties forever

🎞taco mia for nostalgia reasons, cluckeria too just bc it fucks. i like pancakeria for the chipmunk

😋DOAN'S FREEZERIA ORDER? PEAK. also quinn's wingeria order bc it's funny as hell she gets 9 carrots and 3 wings i will not shut up abt this

🤢literally anything xolo orders stay away from me. also every hotdoggeria order bc i hate hot dogs

🌌faves: maple mountain and tacodale...least fave: burgerburgh x_x

🍴AND FINALLY:

[youngfcs]

hey cib! can you give me suggestions on face claims that could be nhung hong’s parents? they should be in their 30s-40s!

Hello anon! She is of Vietnamese descent, so I'll cast her parents accordingly, okay?

Mother:

Hong Chau (32-40) [Vietnamese]

Maggie Q (34-43) [Vietnamese, Irish, Polish and French]

Courtney Reed (30-38) [Vietnamese, English and French-Canadian]

Dianne Doan (30-34) [Vietnamese, as well as one eighth Chinese]

Father:

Todd Haberkorn (32-40) [German, Irish, English and Vietnamese]

Johnny Tri Nguyen (40-48) [Vietnamese]

Frédéric Chau (37-45) [Vietnam-born French of Chinese-Cambodian descent]

(cib)

[wildernessfm]

𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓: this might be an annoying question so i apologize but i was just really curious to know if you had any mw older / younger fc pairings?

hey sweet bean, i sure can get you some. and it's not annoying at all, i'm actually sorry it took me so long to get back to you. but as to not clog the dash up, under the cut i've put some of my personal favourites in dot form !!

zendaya → antonia thomas.

katherine mcnamara → maggie geha.

eleanor tomlinson → lotte verbeek.

dianne doan → lana condor.

elizabeth debicki → rose byrne.

madison jaizani → sarah sahih.

madelaine petsch → teresa palmer.

sun yihan → gemma chan.

herman tommeraas → theo james.

jacob anderson → michael evans behling.

raymond ablack → farhan akhtar.

avan jogia → archie reneaux.

dacre montgomery → chris pine.

luke pasqualino → dj controna.

[fenrirswood-hq]

most wanted fcs?

Hey anon!

We've got many by now and the list is only getting longer: Riz ahmed, Omar Sy, Megan Suri, Simone Sshley, Henry Golding, Rahul Kohli, Dua Saleh, Sarita Choudhury, Sendhil Ramaruthy, Alice braga, Amita Suman, Andrew Koji, HARVEY GUILLEN, Lee hojung, Teyonah Parris, Brittany o Grady, Sean Teale, Shayan Sobhian, Suraj Sharma, Blu del Barrio, Ian Alexander, Sonequa Martin Green, Angel Coulby, Antonia Thomas, Dewanda Wise, Sandra Oh, Iko Uwais, Daveed Diggs, MAGGIE Q, Woopie Goldberg, Vihaan Samat, Charles Michael davis, Steven Yeun, Constance Wu, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Im Jinah, Jamie Clayton, Jessica Sula, Manny Jacinto, Mason Gooding, Michael Ealy, Omari Hardwick, AMBER RILEY, Devon Seron, Tenoch Huerta, Nyle Dimarco, Sharon Rooney, Jessica Marie Garcia, & Liv Hewson, Vihaan Samat, Prajakta Koli, Muskkaan Jaferi, Danny Pudi, Winston Duke, Dianne Doan, Adwoa Aboah, Laverne Cox, QUINTA BRUNSON, bruna markquezine, Himesh Patel, Ruby Cruz, Lupita Nyong'o, Emilien Vekemans

[only-mostlydead]

I finished my writing replay of ZRS1 and I have some THOUGHTS:

There is not enough Janine. Why isn’t there more Janine?

Why did they wait so long to introduce Simon? 5imon brotp hijinks could've abounded this whole time

Maggie Doane deserved better

You pick up on things that seem innocuous but become relevant later. Like, oh, Finland has no Rofflenet? Really?? How strange! (Sigrid you bitCH)

The flip between “I am actively plotting your demise” Sara and “I would trust you with my life” Sara is so wild but also feels completely natural and I love her

I am not prepared to deal with the emotional roller coaster that is Archie Jensen again

Were we really supposed to think Van Ark was a good guy? His name is Ernest Van Ark for Chrissakes. Was Evil Van Badguy taken?

Ed and Molly are underutilized

Major De Santa's big damn hero entrance gives me chills every time

S2S absolutely banked on people continuing to play because they made us fall in love with Sam

Also I only have three chapters left on The Cave, HOW

[scavengerfive]

An Ornament Hung

Another year, another Abel Secret Santa fic. I went a bit overboard with this one, but I hope @when-sanpape-arts enjoys their Secret Santa gift. Sam wasn’t the best beta last time, so I got Maggie and Rajit to help me this year. Still, without any good proofreading softwares on Rofflenet, there was only so much we could do.

I would like to thank @runnerzero, @notforconsumption, and @goblinsharkz for putting all of this together and posting it on the Noticeboard (did Janine clear it?).

This takes place in some obscure limbo of my first year in Abel (OOC: though there are some mentions of future characters - though no real spoilers). Merry Christmas! Hpappy Holidays! Enjoy before my neuroticism kicks in, and I start editing every single mistake I spot.

Summary: You're not quite sure if you believe he is who he says he is, but he does have the laugh and the sleigh. Plus, his reindeer almost ran you over. He needs your help to save Christmas, but you're leaving it up to him to convince Janine because you'd rather not have latrine duty... again.

---

“Good job, Five!” Sam crowed after you exited the shop, shoving the doors shut behind you and quickly pushing over a pile of molding wooden beams to block them. “That should keep those zombs from following you. Did you get the supplies?”

You tapped the headset twice and looked down at your bag, holding it open so your head cam could see the inside, then you took off, keeping an eye out for any stray zombies that had splintered off from the horde you had just trapped. You hadn’t expected them to follow you in, but you made sure they couldn’t follow you out.

“Fantastic! Come on home then, Five,” Sam continued. “You did magnificent today. I’m sure I can convince Rajit to let you have a hot shower when you get back. Just go on right ahead and make a right when you get to the sign up the road. Head due west. You shouldn’t run into anything too big. Maybe a few shamblers, but you can stay ahead of them, right, Five?”

You tapped three times this time and beamed when he laughed.

“Cheeky, Five. Now, just ahead, you might have to--hold on, what’s this? I see something on the scanner… I can’t--wait--no… I don’t--hey, Five. Do me a favor and take the next two lefts and head towards the block of flats by the old theatre. I need your eyes--well, your head cam’s eyes--eye? Just--turn here.”

You knew Abel was the other way, but you trusted Sam and followed his directions without hesitation. It looked like something interesting caught his attention, and his curiosity demanded to be satiated, using you as its vessel. Not that you minded, and now, you were intrigued as well.

As you approached the flats, you could hear the ambient moans of zombies growing louder as you neared, and you took extra care to be quiet and stealthy in case you stumbled upon any. You crouched by a wall, sliding along it. Your nose had just about grown numb to the rancid scent on the wind, yet you had to swallow back a gag nonetheless.

There was an unfamiliar panting and grunting noise also gaining volume as you stalked towards the junction. You leaned forward to peek. The scattering of pebbles and sounds of clopping and, strangely, bells were your only warnings before a brown form barreled around the corner. You jumped back, tripped over a crack in the pavement, and fell on your bum, scrapping your palm on the rough ground.

“Five?” Sam called, sounding baffled. “Was that--was that a reindeer?”

Your head whipped around, and you caught sight of the tailend of the creature before it disappeared down the road. You tapped twice.

“Last time I checked, reindeer were not a native species in these parts. Perhaps, it escaped a zoo--or a sanctuary. Do we have any of those near here? And--am I mistaken, or did it have bells on it?”

You pushed yourself to your feet and jogged around the junction in the direction where the reindeer had come from. You could definitely hear more than a few zombies ahead.

“It should be just ahead, Five,” Sam said as you skulked. “I can see a horde of zombies surrounding a house. I think there is someone trapped on the roof. They might need help. Think you’re up for it?”

Tapping twice, you sped up, following the moans.

“Um… Five? Is that--is that a sleigh? On its side?”

Yes. Yes, it was. It was tipped over on its side, one of its runners up in the air. The red painted wood was scratched and splintering in spots, and there were reins from the front rail piled on the ground, torn or unhooked. A red sack was tumbled out of the back, deflated on the ground.

“Oh, no. Tell me you’re not about to be chased by zombie Santa and his elves, Five,” Sam whined. “That would be so not holly jolly.”

You prodded the bag with your foot. It seemed to be empty, and you contemplated picking it up when you heard a deep voice bellow over the moans of the zombies just out of sight.

“Oh, ho, ho, no! Dasher! Dancer! Prancer! Vixen! Come back here! Comet! Cupid! Donder! Blitze--where is Blitzen? Comet? Where is-- no! Back here! Chocolate fudge!”

You easily found the owner of the voice, and… Sam wasn’t too far off. A crowd of maybe fifteen zombies or so surrounded a two story house, its front door broken open. You suspected some may be inside, but the ones outside had their attention fixed upward where a familiar (in reputation) figure was on the roof. He limped along the edge of the roof, scratching his great white beard. His other hand was clutching a red hat with a white poof at the end, an accessory to the bright suit he wore over his rotund frame.

Your brain short circuited, but where you were rebooting, Sam was freaking out.

“Five! It can’t be! No! Come on!” he denied before flipping completely the other way. “Santa! It’s Santa! Five, that’s Santa! The Kris Kringle Saint Nick Santa! Surrounded by zombies! Santa is surrounded by zombies! Santa is about to be bitten by zombies and turned into a zombie! Father Christmas is about to be zombied!”

The radio operator inhaled loudly, reclaiming the air he had expelled with that breathless outpour.

“Five, you have to save him! If he dies, Christmas is over! You have to save Christmas!”

You tapped four times, and Sam quieted, letting you focus. You didn’t have time to think too hard on whatever was happening or who exactly you were seeing, but you did know how to help someone in a crisis like this. This was familiar.

You pulled out your noisemaker and turned it on before leaving your cover. Zombies were immediately attracted to the newer, more persistent noise, and you soon had a tail that you began to lead away from the house.

“Cut through those two building, Five,” Sam directed, sounding a bit calmer, falling into routine, but he still had a manic tinge to his voice. “If you hop that fence, you can lose them and circle back! Yes, that one. Oh, brilliant, Five! You went right over it. No problem. Okay, left around this house, and back to… Santa. Santa! Five!”

Four taps as you made your way back to the house, noisemaker off and back in your pocket.

“...but it’s Santa Claus, Five. Okay. Okay. I’ll calm down.”

The… man was still on the roof when you approached it. There were about two zombies still persistently moaning up at him. You unclipped your bat, and sneaking up on one, you whacked it from behind, nearly taking its whole head off. The body squelched on the ground, and you quickly dispatched the next one that turned to you. It was over in seconds.

“Oh, hello, Runner Five!”

You looked up at the greeting.

“...you know Santa, Five?”

Sam had no right sounding that betrayed, and you were just confused. How did he know who you were?

“It seems you are here to help me out of this pickle I’ve got myself in,” Santa (?) said jovially, like he wasn’t trapped on a roof. “I’m afraid I cannot get down the same way I got up. My ride seems to have suffered a--tragic accident. By the way, have you seen any reindeer? They wandered off.”

“...no. No way,” Sam exclaimed.

You just--you couldn’t--you walked around the house, locating a small shed by the back. You pushed at the door, the swollen wood resisting a bit before giving. Holding your bat at ready, you slipped in. It smelled musty rather than decaying, and you saw a few abandoned tools and supplies which you began to pack into your bag, wishing you had collected that sack (Santa’s sack?). There was a ladder like you had hoped, and you grasped it, lifting slash dragging it behind you.

“Ah, yes. That should work brilliantly,” Santa said as you reappeared, not looking the slightest bit concerned that you had abandoned him. “You are a clever one, aren’t you?”

You extended the ladder and leaned it against the side of the house, holding its side to steady it. “Santa” moved slowly, swinging a leg onto a rung and working his way down the ladder until he was on the ground again--like a normal person--not that this was the first person you’ve seen on a roof--but his roof activity had implications that didn’t just involve being trapped by the undead.

You backed up as he brushed his suit off and plopped his hat back on his head, eyeing him warily.

“Five?” Sam called quietly. “Does he really have ruddy cheeks?”

...who didn’t in this weather?

“Runner Five,” Santa said in a deep, warm voice with a great big smile. “I am so grateful you came along to help me. I must say I found myself quite puzzled on how to get myself out of that situation.”

“Does this mean you are on the Nice List?” Sam asked, then gasped. “Five, ask him if he has a Nice List? Am I on it?”

You tapped three times, and "Santa’s" gaze followed your hand as it dropped. He looked intrigued.

“Oh, is that Sam?” he asked, eyes studying the headset.

You froze while Sam squeed.

“HE KNOWS MY NAME!”

“Mr. Yao, what is going on in here?”

“Oh-um, Janine…”

“Why isn’t Five back yet with the equipment?”

“Um--you see--the thing is, Janine--that--”

You gestured at "Santa" to follow, and he started limping after you. Now that he was on ground level, you could see a wound through his torn trousers's left leg, but you couldn't see what kind. Nowadays, it was really important to know the cause. You stopped, unwilling to risk it. He looked at you expantantly, and you gestured at his leg.

"Ah, this old thing? Well, not old," "Santa" amended, both of you clearly seeing the still drying blood. "One of the runners of my sleigh caught my leg when my reindeer startled and took off without me. They're still not used to the current state of things unfortunately and can be quite skittish."

...whatever.

“Mr. Yao," Janine pushed, and you could almost hear her arms-crossed stance of pure intimidation.

“...Five just saved Santa!" Sam broke.

"...what? Mr. Yao, must I remind you that Santa Claus is not real?"

"Have you seen my sleigh by the way? Or any of my reindeer?" "Santa" asked, once again tailing you as you headed back towards where you had originally come and towards Abel. "I will be needing them if I am to fulfill my seasonal duty and get back home."

He was really committing to the role, wasn't he? Though, you had to give him points. You were almost run over by a reindeer.

"Uh-Five just sa--look for yourself!" Sam exclaimed at his wit’s end. “Five, look at him again.”

There was a rustling, and you turned your head, making sure your head cam was facing “Santa”. He waved.

“Hello, Janey,” he greeted, beaming. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? How is little Tommy doing? Haven’t heard from you two in a long time.”

Sam’s sounds were pitched and incoherent, but Janine’s voice, low and tight, was clear, and you suppressed a shiver.

“Bring him in, Runner Five,” she ordered. “I would like to have a chat with him.”

“Janine! You cannot interrogate Santa!”

“Oh…” Santa breathed when you led him around the junction, and he spotted his sleigh. “Oh, dear.”

He limped over to it, and you followed after him, keeping an eye out for any of the zombies you had led astray earlier. Sam was supposed to be your eyes in the sky, your guy in the chair, but he clearly was trying to wrap his mind around this situation. You understood Janine’s wariness because you were too. How did this stranger not only know who was on the other side of the link but also all of their names?

“Who’s Tom?” Sam asked.

“No one. Forget you ever heard that name. Get Runner Five home.”

“...and she is gone,” Sam said after a pause. “An open book, isn’t she, Five?”

“Santa” caressed the side of the sleigh, his gloves catching on the splinters, and he pulled back. For the first time since you’d encountered him, he looked somber. You watched him walk around it then slowly crouch to examine the reins. He grasped a torn end, frowning. Abruptly, he dropped it and stood, brushing off his gloves and smiling at you.

“I suppose I must go with you to Abel,” he said, bending over to pick up the red sack by the sleigh and throw it over his shoulder. “It was one of my stops. I think I’m going to need your runners’ help.”

Sam inhaled, and you buckled in for his next outburst.

---

Despite his bum leg, “Santa” managed to keep up with you (after you slowed down a bit). As Sam yelled, “Raise the gates!”, you and “Santa” passed under a hail of bullets and through the outer gate. As the siren blared and quieted, a guard stepped forward to do your bite checks, eyeing “Santa” with bewilderment.

“Hello, George,” “Santa” said with a warm smile. “Is Lizzie doing well?”

George stopped in the middle of your examination and stared wide-eyed at the “Santa”. So did you.

“How-how-do I know you?” George sputtered, half between reaching for his weapon, but he looked more confused than hostile.

“Not as well as you used to, but Lizzie did mention that she was worried about you since her mum got hurt.”

“How--when have you spoken to my daughter?”

You caught George before he could get too close to “Santa”, and another guard steped forward to guide him back.

“Thank you, John,” “...Santa?” said offhandedly, looking at George. “I haven’t had the pleasure of talking with the young lady, but she still wrote a letter this year despite the apocalypse.”

“You expect me to believe you’re actually Santa Claus?”

As usual, some people were drawn by the gate sirens, curious to see who was out of the township and what they brought back, but instead of wandering off, they stopped to stare, calling over other people until a small muttering crowd was beginning to form. It’s not everyday that Santa comes to town.

“I don’t expect belief from anyone,” “Santa?” said, unmoved by the tension. “I am who I am. Hello, Sam!”

You turned to see the radio operator squeezing his way through the crowd, his headset hanging off center around his neck. He forced himself through, stumbling forward as he pulled himself free. Stopping, he stared, eyes wide.

“...Santa?” Sam called out tentatively, clutching his hoodie.

“It’s good to see you, Sam,” “Santa (...what?)” said kindly. “I’m sorry to hear about your engineering degree, but I’m glad you’re putting your interests to use to help your friends.”

Sam lit up and rushed forward.

“I--it’s nothing really,” he said, suddenly bashful. “I just talk people’s ears off and hopefully get them out of trouble.”

“Sam, don’t tell me you believe him,” George said incredulously, still glaring at “...Santa”.

“I mean--look at him,” Sam said, gesturing at “Santa (...?)”. “And Five found his sleigh and almost got ran over by a reindeer. Tell them, Five!”

You flashed a thumbs up when the guards looked for confirmation.

“He was probably a mall Santa,” George countered.

“Or just crazy,” John added quietly, speaking up for the first time.

“Mr. Jones and Mr. Monroe, did you finish conducting the routine bite checks?” Janine’s stern voice cut through.

The two men startled to see Janine who had somehow managed to sneak up on all of them. “Santa (...)” smiled cheerfully at her.

“No, ma’am,” George mumbled.

“Get to it then.”

John dealt with “Santa (... …)” while George finished up your examination, all the while Janine watched with Sam buzzing next to her.

“Mr…?” Janine prompted as you both were cleared, and you handed over your bag to have the supplies emptied and sorted.

“Claus,” “Santa (...?)” supplied. “Or Kringle if you’d rather. I do prefer Kris.”

You could roll with that. Kris was shameless in the face of Janine’s disapproval, but it’s not like she could make him say otherwise.

“Mr. Kringle,” Janine said, her face twitching, but she maintained her cool demeanor. “I would like to have a private word with you.”

“I usually wouldn’t deny your request,” Kris started, “but I must say I have an urgent matter that I would like to discuss that I do not believe we would have time to get to if I allow you to question me.”

“And what is that?”

“I am incapable of completing my route without my sleigh and my reindeers, and I believe I need the help of your runners to complete my task.”

“You must be joking. Are you suggesting--?”

“Janey--um, Ms. de Luca,” Kris interrupted, correcting upon receiving Janine’s death glare. “I would not joke about such a matter. It is my job to maintain hope in this season, and with the world in such a state, it is ever more critical that Christmas--”

“Mr. Kringle! I do not have tim--”

“Must I prove it then?” Kris said, his gaze sharp.

Janine opened her mouth then closed it after a moment of deliberation. Folding her arms, she shifted her weight onto one leg, hip jutting, and gestured at him to continue. The small crowd had grown larger and nearer, eager to see the outcome of this. You could see Jody pushing her way to the front with Simon just behind.

“I usually depend on the unconditional belief of children and the few older True Believers,” Kris said, glancing at Sam for a moment who saw the look and gasped. “But if I must make you believe to gain your help, so be it. Runner Five, please take this.”

You grasped the sack he handed you. It was light and, looking in, appeared to be empty. Kris rubbed his hands together then reached into the bag, pulling out a wrapped box that was definitely not in there before. Your jaw dropped.

Peering at the name on the little card, Kris called, “Molly Harrison.”

There was a pause before you heard Ed shout out, “No, Molly! Come back!”

The little girl appeared, pushing through the legs of the larger folks around her. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold under her wide eyes that stared up at Kris. She toddled forward, clutching Mr. Rabbit in her arms, just as her father caught up, swinging her up in his arms despite her squirming to get away.

“Ed,” Kris greeted, stepping closer carefully and holding out the box. “I’m sorry about Becca.”

Ed scowled but took the gift, looking around at everyone watching him.

“And what’s this then?”

“Something for Molly and Mr. Rabbit.”

Ed did a double take, scrutinizing Kris before putting his daughter down. When he was sure she wasn’t going to run off, her mood shifting towards bashful as she clutched her father’s trousers, hiding behind them, he unwrapped the box. He pulled out a knitted hat, turning it over before freezing.

“Where did you get this?” Ed breathed tightly.

Sam perked up like you while Janine shifted subtly forward to see what was off. It was a knitted blue cap Molly’s size with a white “M” woven into it.

“She started it early,” Kris said gently. “She needed to keep her hands busy, but she didn’t get to finish Mr. Rabbit’s, so I did the honors.”

“Mr. Harrison,” Janine prompted after Ed stared at Kris for so long.

“Um--it’s Becca’s work,” he said, having to clear his throat a few times. “She made me one just like this a few years ago, with an “E”, you know--for um Ed... and she said she wanted to make one for Molly because it would get cold, and she didn’t want the cold to get Molly anymore than dem zombs.”

He swallowed, looking down at Molly who was toying with his trousers, obliviously gnawing on her stuffed rabbit’s ear. He turned the hat inside out and pointed at the thread.

“Here. You see this knot,” Ed said. “Even though you’re not really supposed to, she always knots the end three times after she weaves the finishing stitch back in just to make sure it won’t come loose… I know this is her work, but I haven’t seen it before.”

The box was tilted enough in his slack grip to show a smaller matching hat with an embroidered “R”.

“Five,” Kris called, keeping a gentle eye on Ed, and you stepped forward. “I usually don’t have gifts for adults, barring a few, but I thought this year needed to be extra special.”

Kris reached into the definitely empty sack and pulled out a smaller box (f-ck that), handing it to Ed who took it after staring at it for a few seconds. He didn’t hesitate to open this one, and he revealed a few compact disc cases, newer looking than anything you’ve seen in a while. You could see race cars on the cover.

“How…” Ed trailed off, and he looked at Kris with a look of growing awe and disbelief. “You can’t be.”

Kris grinned, tapping his nose. A slow smile crossed Ed’s face before he let out an abrupt laugh, shaking his head. You ignored Sam repeatedly slapping your arm, incoherently squealing under his breath.

“I think I’m going crazy,” Ed muttered then added a quiet, “Thank you,” with a small but sincere smile.

“Take care of this special girl,” Kris said.

Kris waved at Molly who waved back shyly, babbling and giggling. Ed packed all the gifts back into the larger box and picked up Molly, balancing everything and stepping back, still staring at Kris.

“A--an intriguing display, Mr. Kringle,” Janine said slowly. “However, I do not bel--”

“Not done yet, dear,” Kris interjected (casually missing her glare this time), reaching in the sack that you helpfully held up, curious to see where this was going.

“What he get you, mate?” you could hear Simon questioning Ed.

“Driving games. I… I told Jack and Eugene I wanted a few,” Ed muttered, pulling the knitted hat on over Molly’s head then one on Mr. Rabbit, much to the tot’s excitement.

“George, for you and Lizzie,” Kris said, tossing the gifts to the hovering guard then reaching in for more.

He started calling out names, and each person came forward, at first with caution and exchanged glances. But as gifts were unwrapped with shocked gasps or excited exclaims, there was less hesitation each time, an eager energy taking over the gathering. Rajit started crying when he unwrapped a professionally printed version of his novel. George stood stunned, clutching the doll Lizzie had been asking for and the old board game they used to play as a family on game nights.

“Okay, okay! Everyone calm down!” Janine yelled, dampening the growing cacophony. “Please move along.”

There were protests, but eventually everyone but the runners and Sam left (though people hovered nearby). Sam had his hood pulled tight over his head, vibrating in place. Janine turned to Kris who was waiting with a satisfied expression. She pinched her nose before looking heavenward.

“I--I cannot believe I am saying this, but um,” Janine managed before sighing. “...what do you need us to do, Mr. Kringle?”

Sam whooped.

---

“All right, Runners! Are you ready to save Christmas?” Sam said through your headset an hour later, his voice giddy.

No one had managed to calm him down since Kris asked if he could sit with him in the comms shack, his leg making him unable to help with the physical journey. You readjusted the red sack you had tossed over your shoulder, identical ones in the hands of the other runners. Kris had pulled more out of his original “dimensionally transcendental or perhaps it contains a transversable Einstein-Rosen wormhole--how do you keep it from collapsing without an infinite source of exotic matter--the implications it has on the modified theory of general relativity blah blah blah” (according to Chris who you ended up tuning out) “Magic Sack of Wonders” (according to Sam).

“Let’s get this show on the road,” Simon said through the comms link.

“Ready, Sam,” confirmed Jody.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Sara sighed, done with everything before it even started.

A cherry “Ready!” from Maggie, “Let’s get this done” from Evan, confusing muttering from Chris’s side of the link, and affirmations from the rest of the runners. You tapped twice, and the siren blared at Sam’s direction.

“Raise the gates!”

---

“So, what’s the plan, Sam?” Sara said minutes later after you and she split up from the other runners who had other settlements as their destinations. “One that won’t have New Canton shooting us down where we stand. Five and I are not exactly on their Nice List. Not after the stunts we pulled.”

Jody and Simon were heading to Brunswick, Maggie and Chris to Red Settlement, Fiona and Charlie to New Skoobs, and Evan and Bonnie were making the long journey to Mullins, planning on taking one of the motorbikes Ed had told them about for part of the journey.

“Um--you each have those tree ornaments S-Santa gave you?” Sam said, voice cracking.

“If you die from overexcitement on us...” Simon jokingly threatened through your headset.

The radio operator giggled manically then cleared his throat, quietly coaching himself to some level of calm under his breath.

“We’ve got them, Sam,” Jody responded.

“Good. Good. So, they, um--they’re magical ornaments, and they uh make people trust you more--am I getting that right, Santa?”

“Magic’s not real,” Chris muttered. “If anything, it would be complex scientific phenomena that we cannot yet explain. If I could ju--”

“Maybe later, Chr--uh Ten. Okay?” Maggie soothed, diverting him from another ramble.

The relief was shared and audible among you all, more than one sigh coming through the link.

“Call me Kris please, Sam,” Kris said before speaking to you all, casually over the wheeze of the radio operator. “They each contain a remnant of what some would call the Spirit of Christmas… or of the Holidays. When you turn them on, they should remind everyone in your vicinity of the holiday season, what it smells like, tastes like, sounds like to them.”

“You can’t be--”

“It’s okay, Chris. You can debate Santa later.”

“People tend to be calmer and more welcoming in response,” Kris continued, ignoring the interruptions. “Just don’t turn them on too soon, or you may find yourself too relaxed to react to threats in your environment, say… the zombies approaching Runner Seven’s projected route from the east. Sam?”

“Right, Sa-Kris,” Sam said, taking a breath before continuing. “Runner Seven, I need you to speed up. You should be able to pass ahead before they intersect you.”

“Got it, Sam,” Evan said. “Come on, girl. Let’s outrun some zombies.”

You heard Bonnie bark once excitedly, and the Head of Runners chuckled. You and Sara were making good time, and you figured you could be there and back before the sun set too much--assuming New Canton actually cooperated and didn’t--you know--mow you down with prejudice. Kris was humming under his breath, and you snickered when you recognized “Run, Rudolph, Run”.

“So… Kris,” Sam said after a few minutes, trying and failing to sound casual. Kris hemmed, and Sam continued, “Do you read all the letters sent to you every year?”

“As many as I can. I get quite a lot,” Kris said. “When I’m working, sometimes, I’ll have an elf read them outloud to me.”

“Really?”

Kris chuckled.

“Nah… I mean, not anymore. It’s not the Dark Ages--the original one anyways. I have an audio program on my computer that can read them to me.”

“Wow… Five, Eight, turn left up ahead. You’re almost to New Canton.”

“Can see it up on the hill,” Sara responded. “Ready on your mark.”

“Good. Wait until you are spotted.”

“Received.”

The old castle grew larger on the horizon, and you and Sara took a less direct route, hoping to get closer, so they could be in vocal range and not just rifle range.

“I’ve seen your letter on Rofflenet,” Kris said.

Sam choked, coughing. You tapped the headset once paused then twice.

“I’m fine, Five,” he assured, voice rough. “What do you mean? I didn’t--I haven’t written a letter in years--I mean--”

“Sam, I have received a letter from you every year since you’ve learned to write, and I’ve read every single one of them,” Kris said gently. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing wrong with being a True Believer. It’s actually remarkable you’ve managed to hold onto your belief in the magic and joy of Christmas all these years.”

“My mum--she would help me write them when I was a kid,” Sam admitted. “And when I was older, she would ask me if I wrote mine yet. I thought I was too old to be writing to Santa, but she said you’d be sad if I stopped. I guess--I just…”

“I’m sorry about your parents, Sam, but I’m certain they’d be proud of you if they were here.”

There was a sharp, wet inhale before the line was cut from the comms shack. You looked at Sara, but she had her eyes forward, scanning the castle looming before you. You could just make out figures on the high walls when an intercom came to life.

“Runners from Abel Township! Stop where you are, or we will shoot to kill!” a soldier’s voice boomed over your heads. “You have some nerve coming this way again!”

“Five,” Sara called, pulling out her ornament and clutching it tightly. “Time to--oh, G-d. I can’t believe I’m about to say this.” She breathed. “Time to turn on our magical ornaments.”

You grinned at the pain in her voice, pulling your ornament until the halves separated. Turning them in opposite directions, you pushed them back together with a click. There was a pause. You held your breath.

The ornament began to light up, and you could hear the crackling of firewood and heady taste of cinnamon and apples coated your tongue. Your mouth started watering, chest panging as you took a deep breath filled with the strong scent of roasted pine cones.

“Do not make me repeat my--what…” the voice faltered. “What is…? Do you smell cookies, Tim? It’s… double chocolate chip and fudge. Just like my Nan’s… I--I haven’t smelled…”

The intercom died, and you could see figures converging before a few split off and disappeared below. The longer you stood there, the warmer your fingers felt, like when you would stretch them out over the flames. You heard a quiet sniff, but Sara was already turning away, a hand subtly brushing over her face. You looked forward again.

The intercom came on again.

“Abel Runners! Approach with your hands in the air! Guards will meet you at the gate! You better have a good reason for being here!”

“--aven’t heard this song since my pa--” another voice said in the background.

The intercom cut off, and you and Sara looked at each other before holding up your hands and walking forward.

---

It went--as well as one could expect. You endured the jeers from the guards that gave way to shock then confusion and elation as you did what had worked at Abel. When you reached into your “empty” bag, rifles aimed at you, you always found your fingers brushing one box more with the name of an individual present. When you handed it over to the suspicious recipient, you got to watch the skepticism melt away as their eyes widened, unbidden smiles breaking through.

Each reaction caused your smile to grow larger, a warm feeling filling you as eyes lit up. You were starting to get really into this, and you could even see Sara bantering with the guards and joining in with the teasing when guards got gifts that, though it was something they wanted, was a bit embarrassing to open up around their fellow colleagues.

“Do you have a central area where we can leave these, Robbie?” Sara asked the guard from the intercom who had a great sense of humor that didn’t come across when he was threatening to shoot… figures. “At this rate, we’ll be here all week.”

“This way,” Robbie said, a small smirk on his face as he dramatically bowed and gestured for you to proceed with him. “The mess hall should work. We just set up a tree some of our runners cut down. The kids are decorating it.”

People stepped aside as you passed by, watching with wariness or confusion as the guards around you joked and regaled you and Sara with some runner shenanigans or New Canton events. When someone drifted into your vicinity, they would pause, faces scrunching up as the magic of the ornaments enveloped them. Some would laugh, beam, look around wildly, or start to tear up. You gained a few followers, New Canton residents just as curious as Abel’s.

By the time you reached the mess hall, the crowd behind you was large. They spread out, filling up the room slowly as you and Sara headed towards the sizable tree surrounded by children who were attaching handmade decorations with the help of adults. You could see popcorn chains, paper ornaments, cotton, and more. It was haphazard but beautiful nonetheless.

The children looked up and backed away as they stared at all the people entering. Their minders pulled them closer when they recognized your Abel gear. You and Sara stood there in front of the tree, trying to decide your plan, ignoring the people muttering behind you. You kneeled down and started laying out gifts one by one, occasionally handing one to a curious child who had wandered over to see what you were doing, the gift always belonging to the person nearest you. However, you recognized a problem quickly, and so did Sara. She stepped back and turned on her transmitter.

“Sam, Kris,” she called. “We cannot pull these out one by one.”

“Turn your bags upside down,” Kris instructed. “Carefully.”

When both you and Sara did so, gifts came tumbling out. The voices around you got louder, people shouting and moving closer with each materialized box. You walked backwards, following the perimeter of the room, children rushing after you to pick up boxes and pile them closer to the tree. That allowed you to loop back.

Soon enough, large piles surrounded the tree even as people passed boxes around. Children were running around with their new toys and clothes, tugging at their parents’ sleeves. People gushed over their hammers, new boots, playing cards, and packets of hot cocoa. You saw more than one person crying over their half opened box, being consoled by someone else, but there was always a watery smile on their face. Laughter filled the room, the grim faces easing under more than the thrall of your ornament which was only a remnant of the Spirit of the Holidays, paling in comparison to the full joy and cheer that went beyond this room, spreading through the settlement.

You had more than one set of small arms wrap around your legs, and without malice or distrust, people greeted, thanked, and joked with you, handing you a cup of hot cider you sipped at carefully when you paused for a break.

You saw Sara examining a new knife a New Canton runner received, showing the younger woman a few moves. Robbie and Tim watched, their rifles abandoned on their backs as they asked questions or threw in some pointers. Someone had started singing some carols, and more and more people joined in, laughing over mis-sang or forgotten lyrics.

Even so, you knew there were more people than gifts you poured out. You tapped on Sara’s shoulder and held up your sack before miming it towards the people around you.

“Five wants to know if they can leave their sack with someone in New Canton,” Sara relayed. “I suspect there are more gifts to give.”

“The magic of the bags and ornaments end at midnight on Christmas night,” Kris said. “No harm leaving it behind.”

You flagged down a runner who had 20 on her armband.

“Hello. Hi. What’s this?” she said as you handed her sack. “Oh, you’re giving me your magic bag of endless presents. How exciting. I am curious to see how this works. It looks very empty, but I watched you pulling out box after box. Let’s see if I can do it too.”

She reached in, face lighting up as she felt something, and she pulled out a box. She squinted at it, turning it around in her hands until she found the card tucked under the bow.

“And it has my name on it! Archie Jensen. That’s brilliant. Can’t wait to see what’s in it. I wished for a lot of things.”

She tried to hand the sack back, but you held up your hands, shaking your head.

“What? You don’t want it back now?”

You shook your head again, and she frowned before realization dawned on her face.

“You have to go now, don’t you?” Archie asked, and she looked sad when you nodded. “Shame. Well… don’t get bitten or blown up or shot or who knows what else. I hope to see you again, Runner Five. Hopefully we won’t be trying to kill each other because our leaders are fighting again--like we aren’t all just trying to survive. Living killing the living while we have dead trying too.”

You held out a hand, but she pushed past it to hug you tight enough that you were certain your ribs shifted a bit.

“Bye, Five. Bye, Sara,” she said, clutching her box and the bag to her chest, beaming.

It was a while before you could really leave as people wanted to personally wish you well and happy holidays. Before you and Sara made your way out, you attached your frosted ornament to their tree and admired its soft glow.

“Let’s go, Five,” Sara said, Robbie waiting by her side.

You nodded, looking back once more before running towards them.

---

You and Sara turned your backs on New Canton, looking out at the setting sun.

“We should be able to make it back before dark if we’re quick, Five,” Sara assured. “We’re heading back out now, Sam.”

“All right. Head home, runners. You did great work today,” Sam said proudly. “Even zombies can’t stop Christmas.”

“Ho, ho, ho,” Kris chimed in. “Well said, Sam.”

Sara’s sack was also gone, but she still clutched her ornament for comfort or assurance--who knew. Your fingers still felt comfortably warm, and you could always catch a faint wisp of fresh pudding.

“Me and Four are finishing up here,” Simon reported, shouting over the sound of children laughing and people singing in his background. “We’ll leave once Jody digs herself out from under a pile of imps.”

The squeals pitched before he cut his transmission. Evan reported that he was nearing Mullins Base and would be staying overnight while Maggie and Chris were still at Red Settlement. Charlie and Fiona had just reached New Skoobs themselves, and they said they were probably staying there as well.

“So, Santa,” Simon spoke up when you and Sara were halfway back to Abel. “Got any presents waiting for us back at Abel? Us Runners must be on the top of your Nice List.”

“You, Simon Lauchlan, have been on my Naughty List since the day you released three pigs in your school when you were fifteen,” Kris said drily.

The comms link was flooded with laughter and jeers.

“Yeah, yeah,” Simon said, a smirk clear in his voice. “The ladies find it nice when I’m a little naughty.”

Your groan wasn’t alone. Charlie even booed.

“Did you really release pigs in your school, Three?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. It was a prank me and my mates pulled. We painted three pigs with 1, 2, and 4 and let them loose. It took them all day to catch them, but they spent a week looking for a fourth pig. It was worth getting my ears boxed by my mum when we got caught. Best prank I ever pulled. Still proud of it.”

“Of course you are,” Jody said, sounding out of breath.

There was a child screaming right by her microphone, causing you to wince.

“You alright there, Four?” Sam asked.

“Just finishing things up,” she said. “Be on our way back now, Sam.”

“Good. Goo--”

“Sam. Will you take a look at this?” Kris interjected.

“Let me see… oh. Uh oh. That’s--that’s not--Five, Eight. I don’t mean to alarm you, but well… about twenty zombies are converging on your location. I don’t understand--they’re coming from different directions. What is attracting them?”

You smiled at Sara, certain that Sam will figure it all out because he was really smart. Sara had a serene expression, and she winked at you. You giggled.

“...are you laughing, Five? Your laugh is lovely, but this is not the time to laugh. More are approaching. You and Eight need to speed up.”

You covered your mouth, but more chuckles escaped. Still, you did pick up the pace with Sara matching you. You could hear the whistling groans growing closer, but you focused on your warm fingers and roasted pine cones and warm pudding.

“They’re surrounding you two! There’s almost forty now,” Sam sounded more stressed than you thought was warranted. “What is happening?! Okay, okay. No need to panic. Five, Eight, you have a small window. Keep going the direction you’re heading, but you have to pick up the pace, or else they’ll cut you off.”

“Don’t worry, Sam,” Sara said warmly. “Five and I will be fine.”

You saw the zombies shambling out from behind buildings and trees, coming from all directions. There were a few in front of you, but you gave them a wide berth. The sound of their moans was thunderous.

“I would have to disagree… why do you sound so calm?” Sam asked as you ducked under a zombie’s arm.

“Sara, Five,” Kris called. “Did you turn off your ornaments?”

“Five left theirs at New Canton, but I still have mine. I didn’t want to risk those guards shooting us in the back, so I kept it on. Plus… it smells like sweet potato pie. It was my boys’ favorite.”

You wiggled your warm fingers.

“Do you think that’s what’s attracting the zombs, and why Eight and Five aren’t taking this seriously?” Sam asked.

“It’s definitely what’s keeping them so calm--too calm,” Kris said, “but I wasn’t aware of it having any effect on the undead.”

“Umm… I have a theory,” Chris piped up over the link. “You said the ornaments trigger sensory cues that people associate with festivity and the holidays. Could it be possible that they can tap into residual brain activity? Though the brains have mostly decayed, the zombies may still be drawn towards the source of the stimuli.”

“It’s… possible,” Kris granted. “Never had the chance to test it. It sounds reasonable.”

“Eight, turn off your ornament,” Sam ordered.

Sara hesitated but did so, and your fingers cooled, the scent of pudding giving way to rotting flesh. You jumped back as a zombie swung at you. You managed to stay on your feet and skirt around it.

“Sam!” Sara yelled. “We need an out. Now!”

“Just run!”

You could practically feel fingers brushing your back, and you swang your bat at a zombie reaching for you as Sara impaled one through the eye with her knife, a squelch following a wet smack.

“Ooh…” Sam cringed before crowing, “That’s what I call teamwork! Keep going though. You can’t fight them all.”

“Five?” Sara called. “Do you hear that?”

Through the moans and groans, you heard familiar bells and clopping. A great pair of antlers butted a zombie to the side, the reindeer shaking its head with a grunt. It scrapped its hoof on the ground, looking at you and Sara as you ran by it. You weaved and jumped through zombies, seeing your narrow path of escape closing by the second. You heard another squelch, and you had to behead your own zomb soon after.

“Hear what?” Sam asked anxiously.

“Just a bl--dy reindeer, Sam,” Sara panted, a painful sounding cough working its way out.

“Five, whistle at it,” Kris commanded. “Loud and clear.”

You did so, and you heard hooves clattering over pavement behind you. You glanced back to see the reindeer charging towards you, mowing down any zombies in its path. You suddenly heard more bells and hooves approaching, and a second reindeer then a third appeared, rounding the corner and running straight towards you and Sara.

“Five,” Kris started, but you already had a hand out as the antlers came up beside you. “Grab on.”

You did and swang yourself up on the reindeer’s back, grabbing at the torn reins from which hung the golden bells that rang so sharply amongst the moans. You wrapped your hands in them, bending low and bracing your legs, feeling the creature’s solid muscles moving under your thighs.

“You must be joking,” Sara coughed, but she ran towards one of the other reindeer despite her protests.

“Come on, Eight. How many people get to say they rode Santa’s reindeer?”

She didn’t bother dignifying that with a response and managed to clamber up on her chosen mount. Your reindeer lowered its head and whipped a zombie out of its way. You cheered, giggling wildly. Moving faster than you ever could on your feet, the reindeer carrying you and Sara burst free just before the zombies closed in, and you left them in your dust, their moans fading in the distance as the sun set.

---

By the time you saw Abel, the sun was nearly gone, and you had collected six more reindeer and four more runners. All of the reindeer ran behind you in pairs with you on the one leading in the front. Simon finally stopped clutching at his reindeer like it was going to throw him while Jody rode like a natural. Maggie looked less shaky and was keeping an eye on Chris who looked green around the edges.

You patted the head of the reindeer you rode. Though it was panting, your reindeer kept going, quick as a comet which you realized was its name from the loose tag on the back of its neck. Good boy.

“That’s what I call riding in style, run--no, riders,” Sam said. “Raise the gates! First wave of Santa’s elves are back for the night.”

The reindeer balked but did not flee from the sirens, and you coaxed them though the gates, swinging down once Comet settled. You stroked his head, grinning. You felt very sore from riding bareback, but it was better than being eaten, so you couldn’t complain. You saw Maggie helping Chris down, steadying the runner as he swayed, rubbing his back soothingly.

“You did good work, runners,” Kris said. “Sleep easy knowing you brought much joy in a time that very much needed it.”

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m knackered,” Sam yawned.

You groaned as the others jeered. The late shift guards approached, eyeing the reindeer cautiously. You submitted yourself to your bite check.

“Being an operator is hard work too,” Sam protested, his grin audible. “Sleep well, runners. You did great.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Jody said as he signed off.

“What do you think they’re going to do with the big guy?” Simon asked.

“Hey, Five,” Sara called, stealing your attention as she tossed you her ornament. “Give this back to Kris or hang it on the tree for me. I don’t care. I’m gonna check in with Janine.”

You nodded, eyeing the ornament as she left, but besides its one unfortunate side effect, it was still pretty neat (and magic).

“What do we do with the reindeer?” one of the guards, Joe, asked quietly, but you were already walking away, your feet dragging.

You vaguely remember turning on and hooking the ornament on the tree in Abel’s square, your fingers warming and smelling pudding and pine cones, before you fell face first into your cot and passed out.

---

Abel was a different place when you woke up Christmas morning. The first sign was the candy cane hanging outside of your room when you stepped out in your gloves and scarf. Curious, you pulled it down, and you looked, seeing more hanging on the doors of other runners. Shrugging, you stuffed it in your pocket.

You exited the runners’ quarters and stilled, eyes widening. Paper snowflakes hung from fairy lights and tinsel that were wrapped around the comms shack nearby. You realized that it wasn’t the only building that was decorated while you slept. So were the runners’ quarters and all the buildings you could see as well. Soft holiday music drifted in the air, emitting from the intercoms.

As you wandered towards the square, you could hear activity, the sound of shrieking, laughter, and talking growing louder. You saw people admiring the tree, and you could see why. First off, it was not that tall or green last night, and it was gorgeously decorated with tinsel, lights, popcorn, and ornaments, some handmade and others well crafted. There were also some gifts piled under it, but not as many as you would expect for how many people resided in Abel.

Yet, people buzzed with excitement, the situation becoming clearer as you drifted through towards the kitchen.

“--found it right outside my room. I haven’t seen a complete deck since the outbreak. They were worth an arm and a leg before.”

“They’re so warm, and they are just my size too!”

“It will make my job so much easier. My old one was growing really dull, and it j--”

“Runner Five!”

You turned to see Jack jogging towards you, Eugene trailing behind him with his crutches.

“Glad we caught you,” Jack said, beaming. “We heard you had a real adventure yesterday, and we thought perhaps you might want to talk about it.”

“Hello, Five,” Eugene greeted much calmer, eyeing his partner with fond exasperation. “Sleep well?”

You nodded, grinning as Jack rolled his eyes at this clear waste of time.

“Me and Gene want to interview you. Nothing like a grand tale of zombie grinches and Christmas miracles to bring hope to the people,” Jack continued. “Just let u…”

You didn’t have time to wonder why the radio host trailed off, eyes widening, when you felt a puff of air brush your neck. Wet lips nibbled at your hair, and you turned. Comet grunted at you, nosing your clothes. You stood still, unsure what to do.

“He’s looking for sugar,” Kris said, coming up behind his reindeer and stroking Comet’s side fondly. “You don’t happen to have a sugar cube or candy on you, do you?”

You frowned before perking up, reaching in your pocket and pulling out the candy cane. Comet reached for it, but you held it back, looking at Kris.

“He can have one,” Kris said. “More than that, and he’ll upset his stomach--again.”

The reindeer grunted. You unwrapped the cane and held it out, smiling as Comet gobbled it up, petting his neck.

“I wish I had a camera,” Eugene muttered behind you.

There was a flash, and you blinked your eyes clear to see Charlie grinning.

“Guess who got a camera for Christmas!”

“Ooh! Take a picture of me and Genie,” Jack crowed.

He posed with Eugene who shifted his crutches to the side to wrap his arm around Jack’s waist, smiling. Charlie took multiple pictures, and before the last one, Eugene pressed a kiss to Jack’s cheek, setting the other man’s face ablaze in time for the flash.

“Eugene!”

Eugene swung his way to peer over Charlie’s shoulder as she shook out the little pictures the camera emitted. He cackled as he got a good look at the developing photo, Charlie laughing with him.

“I’ll be keeping that,” Eugene said, taking the photo with a grin when it was done. “Get a tan, Jack. You go from ghost to tomato in seconds.”

The reindeer butted you, checking you for more treats, but you just stroked Comet’s head, nosing him back.

“He’s taken a liking to you,” Kris commented. “He’s usually much more temperamental.”

You wiggled your nose at Comet who snorted in your face, his breath warm and rank. You gagged, and Kris chuckled deeply. You looked at him, taking the time to study him and his new appearance. He had changed into overalls and flannel, looking at ease despite the cold weather. He saw you looking.

“I didn’t bring a spare suit,” Kris protested, and you held up your hands in surrender, grinning as he laughed more. “The good doctor took care of my leg as well. Now, will you show me the way to the kitchen? I’m feeling peckish.”

Your stomach growled on cue, and you nodded, weaving your way through the people, many of which moved aside, watching the mythical man trialing after you with a reindeer. You ignored it, listening as Kris told you a little bit about his travels before the apocalypse.

“I was always fond of Egypt. Their kahks are delicious.”

“Five! Over her--Oh, Kris! Hi!”

Kris chuckled as Sam waved wildly, beaming out from under the great red hat that was perched on his head, slipping over his brow. Maxine had to push it back up before it fell off his face, and he shot her a grateful smile.

“He deserved it,” Kris explained at your glance. “Santa’s True Believer. He doesn’t know it yet, but that hat will bring him much fortune if he manages to hold onto it.”

Simon, Jody, Maggie, and Chris were at the table as well, and you saw Fiona at another. She and Charlie must have gotten in earlier.

Chris didn’t even look up from the red sack he was examining in his lap, but Maggie smiled from beside him, waving and moving over to let Kris in after you approached with your trays, and you squeezed in next to Sam, brushing shoulders with him. Comet lingered by the table, people skirting around him though they watched him with curiosity.

You tapped your nose three times, pointing at the hat, and Sam stuck out his tongue.

“I think I rock it, right, Maxine?”

“It’s definitely--something,” Maxine dodged, smiling at you. “Morning, Five. How are you feeling?”

You see-sawed your hand, and she hummed sympathetically, her head bobbing.

“If you need anything, come see me later.”

You nodded, rubbing your sore legs.

“Coming to the party later?” Simon asked.

“Janine cleared it?” Jody asked with a frown.

“Nope,” he snorted. “Coming?”

“I’ll probably stop by.”

“That’s the one Jack and Eugene were planning, right?” Sam asked, stealing a banger off your tray, smiling innocently with it shoved in his mouth.

Disgusting.

“Yup. They said they’ve got the good booze,” Simon tempted.

“Whiskey, and I’m in,” Maggie said.

“I’m sure I could scour up some, Maggie,” Kris said with a mischievous smile.

She quirked a brow, and when he grinned, she laughed.

“Good luck getting your sack back from Chris. I just barely managed to stop him from unravelling it.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” Chris mumbled to himself, running his fingers over it.

“It’s all right, Chris,” Maggie said, patting his shoulder. “It’s magic.”

“It’s advanced technology.”

“Okay.”

“Sam Yao, please report to the comms shack,” Janine said over the intercom, drawing people’s attention as it briefly interrupted the ambient music.

Sam sighed but pushed himself up.

“I have to get Evan back to Abel. I’ll see you at the party later, right, Five?”

You nodded, and he grinned, taking his empty tray with him. You fed Comet some boiled carrots and beans, his lips running over your palm for every scrap.

“I have to go too,” Maxine announced. “I want to organize my supplies before tonight. I plan on getting completely wasted. Don’t get any fatal injuries between today and tomorrow because I won’t be any help.”

You snickered.

“What did you get, Five?” Jody asked once Maxine left. “I got new knitting needles and some really good yarn.”

Your brows furrowed, wondering if you had perhaps overlooked your own box.

“Oh, I have not yet given Five their gift, Jody,” Kris said, smiling at you. “I wanted to deliver it personally since they did save my life yesterday.”

“Bet it won’t top my new football,” Simon challenged before you could respond.

You bared a sharp smile at Simon as Jody elbowed him. He protested, rubbing his arm, overacting the severity of the pain.

“I made an exception this year, Simon, but you are still on my Naughty List. Remember that.”

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, Santa.”

---

At the party later that Janine totally did not know about (she was in the corner sharing a drink with Sara who was holding a plate of sweet potato pie), you sat comfortably in the rec building with the quickly knitted elf hat that Jody threw at you (before she started on another, having already completed one for Simon, Maggie, and Chris) on your head.

Sam was coming back over from the buffet table, balancing cups filled to the brim with various drinks. He still wore his Santa hat with pride despite how much ribbing he was subjected to. Maxine gratefully accepted her cup, following through with her plan to get utterly sloshed tonight.

“Runner Five. If I may steal you for a moment.”

You looked up at Kris, who waved away another child, and stood, following him to a corner, avoiding Jack and Eugene who found and were making good use of some mistletoe. You looked at Kris who was reaching in his pocket. He pulled out a small wrapped box. You took it curiously.

“Be assured, Five, your friends have met all your desires, hiding their gifts for you away by the tree,” Kris said. “You have been a good friend to them, and they wish to show you their gratefulness. All the practical matters have been left to them. I have something a little more… metaphysical that I believe you have deserved. Open it.”

You used your nail to tear and peel back the wrapping, prying open the lid. Inside was a familiar golden bell, one of the many you saw sewn onto Comet’s reins. You picked it up, shaking the bell to hear its sharp jangle.

“Five, if you should ever be in great need of something, hold the thought of it in your mind and ring this bell,” Kris said, catching your eyes gravely. “It will only work once, so I trust that you will use it wisely.”

You clutched the bell tightly in your hand, giving a determined nod, trusting his word. The bell slowly warmed in the heat of your palm. You would be careful with it.

“Stay alive, Five, and take care of you and your friends,” Kris said. “They’re counting on you, and I know you are up to the challenge. Happy Christmas.”

Kris pressed a finger to his nose and winked before fading before your eyes.

You blinked, staring at the wall confused. What were you doing in the corner by yourself? Weren’t you just… You turned and walked back to your friends, shaking your head.

“Nice hat, Sam,” Simon teased. “Did Five get that for you?”

“I… I’m not sure,” Sam said, clutching the red hat in his hands, frowning, but he shrugged, putting it back on. “I rock it though, right, Maxine?”

“It’s definitely--something,” Maxine slurred intoher cup.

“Five!” Sam called. “Where did you wander off to?”

You felt like you were missing something, but you couldn’t grab hold of it. You just shrugged, sitting next to him and accepting your cup with your free hand.

“Whatchu got there, Five?” Maggie asked.

You frowned, and she gestured at your other hand curled around something. You peeled back your fingers, revealing a golden bell that glistened brightly in the light.

“Where’d you find that?” Sam asked, peering at it, his hat’s bobble flopping in his face.

You… you weren’t sure, but you felt it was important. You shrugged and pocketed it, reaching out to tug Sam’s hat down over his face. He sputtered, spilling his drink a bit, and everyone laughed, falling over themselves in joyful (and drunken) abandon if only for tonight. Your chest was bursting with happiness, and you couldn’t wipe the grin off your face all night, pressing your cheek to Sam’s when Charlie called for you all to pose.

Her camera clicked and flashed, letting out a pop. Your face ached from smiling.

---

‘Twas the night after Christmas, and all the through the township

Not a corner was sans gayful laughter and friendship

Children shrieked as their parents smiled on

Friends teasing and jeering and bursting in song

Huddled with his runners laid a young operator

No longer a child yet still a True Believer

And at his side was faithful Runner Five

A willful spirit who will fight for Abel to thrive

There is much they will face, but for now they cheer

Knowing that, in this moment, they had nothing to fear

And though midnight passed, and magic faded from their minds

On the tree in the square, an ornament hung and still shined

[dear-indies]

hello! do you have any suggestions for some east & southeast asian actresses in sci-fi/post-apocalyptic stories? any help is much appreciated, thank you!

Jessica Henwick (The Matrix Resurrections, Underwater, Love and Monsters) Chinese Singaporean / English.

Gemma Chan (Humans, Eternals) Hongkonger / Chinese.

Kutsuna Shiori (Invasion) Japanese.

Melissa O'Neil (Dark Matter) Hongkonger / Irish. 

Morgan Holmstrom (Day of the Dead) Metis of Cree descent, Ilocano Filipino, Sambal Filipino, and possibly Tagalog Filipino.

Michelle Yeoh (The Witcher, Star Trek: Discovery, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) Malaysian Chinese of Hokkien and Cantonese descent.

Meng'er Zhang (Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) Chinese.

Ming-Na Wen (The Book of Boba Fett, The Mandalorian, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) Macanese.

Pisay Pao (Z Nation) Cambodian.

Sonoya Mizuno (Maniac, Ex Machina, Annihilation) Japanese / Argentinian and British.

Bae Doona (The Silent Sea, Kingdom) Korean.

Okamoto Tao (Westworld, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice) Japanese.  

Grace Park (Battlestar Galactica, Freaks) Korean.

Kim Sun Young (The Silent Sea) Korean.

Onna Chan (Red String of Fate) Chinese. 

Florence Faivre (The Expanse) Thai / French.

Rinko Kikuchi (Pacific Rim, Terra Formars) Japanese.

Fei Ren (Polar) Chinese.

Zhang Yu Qi (Lost in the Pacific) Chinese.

Jo Yi Hyun (All of Us Are Dead) Korean.

Ha Seung Ri (All of Us Are Dead) Korean.

Lee Eun Saem (All of Us Are Dead) Korean.

Lee Yoo Mi (All of Us Are Dead, Squid Game) Korean.

Jung Yu Mi (Train to Busan) Korean. 

Ahn So Hee (Train to Busan) Korean.

Kim Joo Ryoung (Squid Game) Korean.

Mia Sable (Legends From The Sky) Choctaw, Korean, German.

Susan Park (Snowpiercer) Korean.

Jennifer Cheon Garcia (Van Helsing, The Wheel of Time) Korean / Mexican.

Eleanor Matsuura (The Walking Dead, Into the Badlands) Japanese / English.

Kylie Padilla (Encantadia) loko Filipino, Kapampangan Filipino, and Bikol Filipino, Chinese, and most likely some Spanish as the Padilla clan are known for being mestizo.

LJ Reyes (The Cure) Tagalog Filipino.

Jennylyn Mercado (The Cure) Filipino.

Sukezane Kiki (The Terror, Lost in Space) Japanese.

Tsuchiya Tao (Alice in Borderland) Japanese. 

Lee Si Young (Sweet Home) Korean.

Go Min Si (Sweet Home) Korean.

Park Gyu Young (Sweet Home) Korean.

Lee Yoo Young (SF8: The Prayer) Korean.

Kyung Soo Jin (Train) Korean.

Shin So Yool (Train) Korean.

Kim Bo Ra (SF8: Joan's Galaxy) Korean.

Lee Si Young (SF8: Blink) Korean. 

Ahn Hee Yeon (SF8: White Crow) Korean.

Lee Se Hee (SF8: White Crow) Korean.

Shin So Yoo (SF8: White Crow) Korean.

Shin Eun Soo (SF8: Baby It’s Over Outside) Korean.

Morakot Liu (Tunnel) Thai. 

Kim Ah Joong (Grid) Korean.

Wang Zhi (Kung Fu Traveler 2) Chinese.

Ha Ji Won (Sector 7) Korean.

Kuroki Meisa (Space Battleship Yamato) Japanese.

Fukushima Rila (Terra Formars) Japanese.

Lina Ohta (Terra Formars) Japanese.

Shinoda Mariko (Terra Formars) Japanese.

Koike Eiko (Terra Formars) Japanese.

Fonthip Watcharatrakul (Atitha) Thai.

Lily Gao (Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City) Chinese.

Moon Bloodgood (Falling Skies) Korean / Dutch, English, Welsh, Irish.

Kitty Chicha Amatayakul (The Exchange, Necromancer) Thai.

Maggie Q (Nikita, Designated Survivor) Vietnamese / Irish and Polish.

Dianne Doan (Vikings, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) Vietnamese, as well as one eighth Chinese.

Thaddea Graham (The Irregulars) Chinese.

Choo Ja Hyun (Arthdal Chronicle) Korean.

Jessie Mei Li (Shadow and Bone) Hongkonger / English - gender nonconforming woman - she/they.

Jessica Matten (The Empty Man, Frontier, Hudson & Rex) Red River Metis of Saulteaux and Cree Descent, Chinese, Ukrainian, French, and British.

Anna Akana (Jupiter’s Legacy) Japanese, Kānaka Maoli, possibly English, Irish, German, French, and Chinese / Filipino, possibly Spanish - bisexual. 

Daniella Alonso (Revolution) Quechua Peruvian, Japanese / Puerto Rican.

Some of these aren't specially sci-fi/post-apocalyptic roles but could work in such settings!

[midwestern-runner-five]

I’m drunk please have some zr headcanons

Janines love language is acts of service, so her taking on responsibility is her way of showing she cares

Sam has ADHD and is a burnt out gifted kid

Jamie skeet can draw really well

Archie has synesthesia

Eugene competed in figure skating as a child. Jack helps him skate on the pond in Abel when it freezes over

Maggie Doane is bi, listens to Billie Eilish and Olivia Rodrigo, and had a tiktok following before the apocalypse

On top of knitting lessons, Ed is learning how to cook in the Abel mess hall. He makes a mean shepherds pie

Simon used to be a theater kid

[tabloidtoc]

Entertainment Weekly, May

Cover 1 of 3: The 2021 Oscars Issue -- Viola Davis

Page 2: Contents, the other covers with Chloe Zhao and Regina King

Page 6: Cold Open -- a bunch of random jibberish I can't even begin to classify

Page 16: The Must List -- The Underground Railroad

Page 18: The Department of Truth, The Mosquito Coast

Page 19: The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave, Together Together

Page 20: Jakob's Wife, Frank of Ireland Q&A with Brian and Domhnall Gleeson

Page 22: Role Call -- Josh Duhamel

Page 23: Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, Resident Evil Village

Page 24: My Must List -- Brian Tyree Henry

Page 27: Oscars 2021

Page 28: The Race Is On

Page 29: Dick Johnson Is Dead

Page 30: The Powerhouse -- with her record-breaking best actress nod for Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, Viola Davis proves she's Oscar royalty

Page 33: Riz Ahmed -- the Sound of Metal star on inhabiting a demanding role, and how the film uses sound to take the audience on his character's harrowing journey

Page 34: The Revelation -- Right after winning an Academy Award for her acting, Regina King directed her debut feature film, One Night in Miami to three Oscar nominations. Is there anything this woman can't do?

Page 38: The Front-Runner -- Chloe Zhao has already made Oscars history, now the Nomadland director is poised for a triumphant finish

Page 41: Carey Mulligan -- the Promising Young Woman nominee reveals how she broke the film's tension with costar Bo Burnham by singing a rendition of Paris Hilton's Stars Are Blind

Page 43: Original Screenplay -- The Trial of the Chicago 7

Page 44: Around the Table -- Making History -- how four of this year's Oscar-nominated films radically confront and reframe Black history in America -- Judas and the Black Messiah, The United States vs. Billie Holiday, One Night in Miami and Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

Page 45: Maria Bakalova -- how the Bulgarian breakout unleashed her inner wild child and found her character's heart during a pivotal scene in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

Page 46: 5-Minute Oral History -- West Side Story -- in honor of its 60th anniversary, stars Rita Moreno and George Chakiris look back on their 1962 Oscar wins

Page 49: Daniel Kaluuya -- the two-time Oscar nominee on the power and responsibility of taking on revolutionary icon Fred Hampton in Judas and the Black Messiah

Page 52: Fire Starter -- how Angelina Jolie blazed a trail with Taylor Sheridan for the upcoming firefighting film Those Who Wish Me Dead, her first action film in more than a decade

Page 56: Romancing the Screen -- record breaker Bridgerton proved the power that love could have on the small screen. By satisfying audiences' pent-up lust, it became a cultural phenomenon: spawning a TikTok musical, landing star Rene-Jean Page an SNL hosting gig, and catapulting Julia Quinn's 20-year-old source material to the top of the New York Times best-seller list for the very first time, but will the Bridgerton Effect make Hollywood finally fall in love with romance novels?

Page 60: Demi's New Groove -- after detailing her harrowing 2018 overdose in a recent documentary, Demi Lovato returns with a newfound sense of stability and her first album of new material in four years

Page 66: Stand Up & Step Up -- For EW's Around the Table, Chloe Bennet, Dianne Doan, Daniel Dae Kim, Hari Kondabolu, Olivia Munn and George Takei discuss the rise violence against Asians, their experience as Asian artists, and how Hollywood can help crush stereotypes and be more inclusive

Page 70: News + Reviews

Page 71: TV -- whatever happened to the Men of Tomorrow? Everywhere you look there are supermen behaving badly. Is this a bold new era in superhero storytelling or cheap cynicism on steroids?

Page 77: Movies -- Bad Romance -- Amanda Seyfried and James Norton talk about their tragically doomed marriage in Things Heard and Seen

Page 78: Women Who Kick Ass -- Jodie Turner-Smith -- she's got a juicy role opposite Michael B. Jordan in Without Remorse and will lead Netflix's upcoming The Witcher prequel. Meet Hollywood's most exciting new action star

Page 79: Childlike Wonder -- David Oyelowo goes behind the camera for his mystical directorial debut The Water Man

Page 80: Three provocative new indies explore the beauty and pain of contemporary romance -- Monday, Hope, The Killing of Two Lovers

Page 81: My Favorite Shot, Oscars edition -- Tom Hooper in The King's Speech -- the filmmaker revisits a scene on the tenth anniversary of Speech's four Oscar wins, including Best Picture and Director

Page 82: Parental Guidance -- your crib sheet on the best entertainment for kids, from toddlers to tweens -- Q&A with Danny McBride -- the Righteous Gemstone shines in The Mitchells vs. the Machines as a luddite dad trying to save the world and his family

Page 84: TV -- First Look -- Never Have I Ever -- the comedy's second season is bringing in the big guns, casting Common as Nalini's love interest

Page 85: License to Thrill -- after smashing the charts with Drivers License, Olivia Rodrigo is ready for her High School Musical: The Musical: The Series character to follow in her footsteps in season 2

Page 86: Cruel Summer

Page 87: The Transformation -- Oh, Boy! It took five years, but Nasim Pedrad's new TBS comedy Chad has finally made it to TV. Here, Pedrad details her transformation into an awkward 14-year-old boy

Page 88: The Nevers

Page 89: First Look -- Solos -- from creator David Weil, this futuristic anthology series explores the depths of human connection through the lens of eight remote characters

Page 90: First Look -- Hacks -- after four decades in showbiz, Jean Smart is living out some Hollywood dreams in her new series

* Strike a Final Pose -- FX is about to say goodbye to its her-story-making Pose. Here's why season 3 offered a proper ending

Page 91: Global Viewing -- these three series all debuting on Earth Day offer new insights into nature and science, with a little help from David Attenborough, Greta Thunberg and Sigourney Weaver: Life in Color with David Attenborough, Greta Thunberg: A Year to Change the World, Secrets of Whales

Page 94: What to Watch

Page 98: Music -- Hungry Heart -- after a devastating 2018, Eric Church left Nashville and made his favorite project ever which is the three-part Heart & Soul in a restaurant

Page 100: Bebe Rexha

* My Hometown -- Saweetie by the Bay -- the My Type rapper makes hella sure to add a little bit of California into everything she makes

Page 101: Greta Van Fleet

Page 102: Jhay Cortez -- meet the 28-year-old who co-wrote Cardi B's I Like It, and whose sophomore album Timelezz drops later this year

Page 104: Books -- Seoul Food -- singer-turned-author Michelle Zauner, who goes by the moniker Japanese Breakfast, paints a vivid portrait of identity, loss, and a mother's love in her memoir Crying in H Mart

Page 106: Pop Culture of My Life -- Leslie Jordan -- the actor and Instagram star is releasing a new essay, How Y'all Doing? Here, he divulges his own Southern charm

Page 108: The Air Up There -- with Great Circle, best-selling novelist Maggie Shipstead puts a smartly feminist spin on the old-fashioned adventure tale

Page 109: A Lot Like Love -- in the short-story collection Love in Color, British-Nigerian author Bolu Babalola smashes the patriarchy of the classic folktale

Page 111: Broken Horses: A Memoir by Brandi Carlile

Page 112: The Bullseye

[maznanangy]

Part2 doan: only straight mfer here james: bi with male preference (his favorite food is sausage. come on people.) joy: pan/romantic onmisexual Lunarian. koilee: pansexual. maggie: futch lesbian marty: trans man who’s homoflexible mitch: aro ace olivia: non-binary papa louie: gay as fuck: peggy: sapphic and intersex

Can't believe Doan is straight🙄/j I don't include him in my hcs cause he's the same case as Matt, Tony and Mandi akfjfjs but that's okay

Also JAMES FAVORITE FOOD IS SAUSAGE- I DIED WITH THAT PART

[teacup-crow]

Fic prompt: How many Able residents does it take to change the light on top of the radio tower?

The answer?: many.

Set in Season One - no spoilers!

“How many of you does it take to change a lightbulb!”

Janine, hands on hips, stares at the chaos before her. Simon is sprawled, grey faced, on the grass, his ankle twisted unnaturally. Maxine is kneeling beside him, attempting to tell whether it’s a break or a fracture. High above at the top of the radio tower, Runner Five is reaching for the bulb, an assortment of citizens cheering them on.

“Well,” Sam looks sheepish, kicking the dirt with the toe of his shoe and avoiding her glare. “Simon said he’d go up and sort it, but he slipped.” For the sake of Runner Three, Sam decides to spare the detail of him leaning backwards and yelling look, no hands!

“I can see that, Mr Yao. I want to know why Miss Marsh, Mx Five, Miss Doane and Mr McShell have taken it upon themselves to climb it!”

“Well, Chris was the next one down in the roster for maintenance.”

Janine checks her timetable. He’s correct.

“We forgot he was scared of heights and he didn’t want to say anything. So he sort of got a bit anxious when he looked at the ground and Jody climbed up to try and coax him down.”

“Why are the two of them still ten meters up?”

“Jody also panicked.”

“And Miss Doane?”

“Oh, Maggie got to the top!” He points up. Hanging on a little lower than Five, the young woman’s bright checked shirt is unmistakeable, and she gives them a cheery wave. “She just, ah, forgot the replacement bulb.”

Janine wonders whether she’s allowed to resign from her position. “So really, we should have just sent Five to start with?”

“I mean, that is usually the answer, yeah.”

“Who organised this repair, anyway? Anyone would think a complete idiot was co-ordinating this operation!”

“Hey look!” Sam says loudly, backing away. “Five’s done it! Hey, good work, Five! Come on down. Sorry, Janine, got to dash. Back to work now the light is on. Duty calls, and all that!”

[desirunnerfive]

Runner 5's Diary

5K W5-W8

Week 5 Workout 1

Dr Myers came running with me today. Janine joined us halfway through. She asked a lot about Sam. She seems like she cares about Sam more than she lets on. Dr Myers was surprised by Janine's offer. It seems Janine has a reputation for being an "ogre". Which I don't understand. She is a brilliant woman. I really look up to her. She just doesn't have time for the petty things in life. Which is entirely normal. Or it should be completely normal. I have a lot of respect for her. Dr Myers claims she is "nice as a pie" with runner 6, Sara Smith.

W5W2

Sam is back in comms! He asked me to go to the Valera Cardiac Clinic - they wouldn't talk but got some info about Bert Airfield.

So I could not find anything about Frances, but I did get a lead though. So I am not a complete failure.

W5W3

Went on today's run with runner 4. She didn't tell me where we were going, which deeply irritated me. But I tried not to show it. Still trying to make a good impression. And she will be my bunkmate. But turns out it was a mission to get craft supplies from this place called Creative Craft Warehouse. We met a woman, Becca, who knows the Bert Airfield guys, who at first we were a bit scared was a zom. She has a kid and a husband. I hope she stays safe seems like a nice woman.

Jody did knit me a doll with the supplies we got. It was very sweet of her.

W6W1

Bumped into Rajit today. Beyond relieved, he didn't ask me about his book. I did finish it, but it is horrible. But he was really weird today. I swear he had to be high on something. He claimed to know about Frances. Then he went on about "Netrophil" Rajit was part of Netrophil. He believes the government was controlling people through bar codes. This makes sense of his terrible novel.

W6W2

Overheard Janine and Runner 8 talking. Their conversation was interesting, to say the least. Janine was very concerned if anyone saw Runner 6 coming to meet her. Janine asked if Runner Eight had made contact with me yet. She says she hasn't had a chance. Janine asks if that means I am unaware of the reason Mullins sent the helicopter to Abel. Runner Eight says she doesn't think I know. They both wonder if they can trust me. Which I understand entirely, but still. Why do they need to trust me. Trust me for what. Janine has worked with me before. Then runner Eight asked Janine if she's heard anything from Mullins. Janine replied that they've been very cagey since the rocket launcher attack that brought down by helicopter. Runner Eight suggests someone must have known the helicopter was on its way. Janine says she understands the implication that someone may have broken her code. What code? Then runner Eight asked Janine if she knows what Mullins is looking for. She says she does, but it's classified. After that, they go their separate ways. Janine agreed to let Runner Eight know if she has any contact with Mullins, and Runner Eight deciding to keep Janine informed about "the situation with Runner Five". I volunteered to come here, so why are they so worried about who I am? Pretty sure they overlooked anything. Turned back so as not to make it too obvious. It was all just weird.

W6W3

Runner 6, Maggie Doane, joined me today. Met up with Becca again. Really useful intel about Bert Airfield. They don't trust Rofflenet. Her husband, Ed, got some information from them about someone who just arrived there from Abel. Is it me? She gave you a slip of paper with the name of the newcomer on it. Didn't have time to read it, though. Have to rush runner 6 back.

W7W1

Nothing much happened today. Proud to say I am back to my old fitness level. Ran around Abel with Sam. He has told me that he has managed to locate Frances.

W7W2

Runner 4 joined me today. She believes Francesca was likely the traitor who was stealing supplies from Abel. And then she disappeared from Abel just as people were starting to notice? Interesting.

W7W3

Met Runner 7 today, Evan Deaubi, head of runners. We went to Dunderwood Village today, which was infested with zoms. Luckily we ran into Becca again; she helped us shelter from the zoms. Turns out Runner 4 theory about Francesca was spot on.

W8W1

Sam joined me today. They've found Frances. She's in the Bebrides. Sam asked if I could take all Alice's things and run them to Bert Airfield at the end of this week. There's a transport leaving there heading up north, and Bert has agreed to take Sam's package to Frances. I said yes, of course. I can see how much this means to him. As thanks, he gave me marmite, which is disgusting.

W8W2

A chat with the Doc. She sees more than she says. She believes something's going on at Abel. She says there are too many people interested in the settlement, and too much has happened recently. I wonder if this has anything to do with the conversation I overheard with Janine and runner 8?

W8W3

DID THE RUN!!!!!! Finally, feel like me again. Had to take a detour on my way to Bert Airfield to pick up radio parts for Janine. Met Becca again today. And her daughter, Molly. I delivered the package, and that is all that matters. Sam was so happy. Runner four knitted me a scarf to congratulate me. Cant wait to be an official runner!

[mrs-elijah-wood]

First and Last Words of Zombies, Run! Characters

This should go without saying, but SPOILER ALERT (up to S8)

Characters are listed chronologically from last appearance alive.

HUGE thanks to @zrtranscripts​!!!

Lem

“Help! I’m trapped in here!” (S1M8)

“This world may seem grim right now, but you’ve got so much to live for. Try to see the best in people, Nadia, and in yourself. You’re such a good person. Such a big heart. Don’t let my death change that. It’s the one thing I couldn’t bear. Be brave, honey. I’ll be watching you. Lem out.” (S2M10)

Chris McShell

“Hello.” (S1M17)

“Veronica… If you find her… tell her… her… her daddy loves her very much.” (S1M19)

Maggie Doane

“Hey, Runner Five, good to see you! I don’t know if you knew at the time it was me, but I was the runner whose life you saved a couple of weeks ago.” (5K Trainer - Week 6, Workout 3)

“Oh no, not the kids! I hate the kids, they’re just so - ah! Get off me! Get off, get off!” (S1M22)

Archie Jensen

“I’m here, I’m here! You don’t have to shout, you know. I requested this mission to the Keeley Center, I’m hardly going to be late for a run to investigate my own old offices.” (New Canton 5K Race Mission: Big Cheese)

“They have a plan.” (S2M18)

Francesca

“Hey there! We have not spoken before, I think, although I know we have seen each other. I’m Francesca. I’m – what do you say? - the quartermaster?” (5K Trainer - Week 3, Workout 1)

“No, no, you can’t take me! You won’t do that to my mind! You can’t!” (S2M21)

Esteban Sosa

“Runner Five, you’re with me today. But how rude I am. I am Esteban; Esteban Sosa. I am Director of Logistics and Infrastructure of the New Canton Permanent Advisory Council. Your Sam has lent you to me today. He wasn’t happy… overprotective, I think. But no need for concern.” (S2M10)

“It is very – [coughs] I’m so sorry. Um, it is, uh –” (S2M40)

Major de Santa

“Runner Five, it’s Major De Santa. I’m back. You can stop running now.” (S1M23)

“Don’t - !” (S2M41)

Sara Smith

“Sorry about that. Hey, there! I’m Runner Eight, Sara Smith. How are you doing? Ready to go out and misdirect some zombies?” (S1M2)

“I don’t know what to expect. But I might see my boys again, I think I might. I’ve done what was right. That’s what life’s about, when it comes down to it. Not sitting around, knowing that you’ve used yourself to the full. So I’m square. And you’d better send Van Ark right along after me, Five. I’ll be waiting for him.” (S2M43)

Ernest Van Ark

“If you want to talk, then stop chasing me! I tell you, I’ll use this pistol, I tell you!” (Abel Township 10k Race Mission: Visiting Van Ark)

“What the hell do you think you’re –“ (S2M44)

Moonchild

“Over here, over here! Climb up onto the ledge. I’ve got a way out, but it’ll take three people. Please be quick!” (S3M8)

“Now your aura’s all gold, do you know that, Five? Gold like the sun. We’re both heading in the same direction, man. But I bet I’ll get there first. Race you!” (S3M60)

Simon Lauchlan (sort of)

“Whew… Runner Three, Simon, here.” (S1M21)

“This is going to sting!” (S3M60)

Owen Landis

“At your service. I’m Owen. I guess I’m the new Runner Six, hi! Feels weird saying that, like I’ve just got a brand new tattoo. You know, somewhere personal.” (S2M25)

“Ian, come on. We were almost, well, kind of mates once. Can’t we just settle this like mates? Crack a few tinnies, you know? Come on. Come on, what do you say?” (S5M18)

Evan Deaubl

“Runners, this is an emergency. The gates have stuck in the open position; we’re open to all attacks. The following runners to report to the main gates immediately for lure and distract: Runner Two, Runner Three, Runner Five, Runner Eight. Go, go, go!” (S1M2)

“Thank you. You’re worthy of it. Now go. I don’t want any of you to see this. Get that cup and books out of the country. Steal a plane! Go back to England. The world is depending on you. Make me proud. Run!” (S5M36)

Ian Golightly

“Hello, am I late? Ian Golightly, reporting for duty! Get it?” (S2SM4)

“I want you to shoot me. Please? Yes. Please. I didn’t… I don’t think I…” (S5M40)

Sigrid Hakkinen

“In fact, those were not my orders, Builder. You have overstepped your bounds again.” (S4M2)

“I’m leaving now, and when I come back, it will be with my own private army. ANNIE will protect me. As long as I have her, I have everything. Oh, and by the way, as I know you’re listening, Mr. Yao, you do know I had your sister, don’t you? Well, you’ll never find her now.�� (S6M40)

Veronica McShell (technically)

“It has been sixteen months and nine days since the outbreak. In all that time, only one animal has ever been recorded as turning gray. The researchers here and throughout Europe via Rofflenet believed it to be the key to understanding immunity, that it might hold the missing link to a cure. You, however, have just killed it. On behalf of all remaining humans, congratulations.” (S3M14)

“No, I know. But I want to. It’s… beautiful. The closer I get to her, the more I can see...everything.” (S6M40)

Colonel Sage

“Sage here, of Banktown. I, for one, am interested in hearing what the Abel representative has to say.” (S7M2)

“They’re searching the cave for me. They can smell the blood. This is my time. It’s good to… to put this thing right. I believe the best parts of my work will live on.” (S7M39)

Ellie Maxted

“Help! Help, I’m stuck in here! Please help me!” (S3M59)

“What? Where are they – [gasps] Five?” (S8M1)

Lachlan Jones

“I don’t give a crap about Fort Canton. I’m here for de Luca.” (S7M8)

“You don’t know what you’ve done. You’ve destroyed everything. There’ll be no stopping them now.” (S8M15)

Tom de Luca

“Hello. I know who you are. You’re Janine’s people. I’ve got Janine. I’ve got her headset, and I’ve got a message for you: this isn’t you anymore. Not your fight, not your battle, not your war! Who owns the war? Who owns the broken bodies of the soldiers? Not her, not any of them. Not the grasses or the traitors or the snitches or the thieves. Not Janine! Let fate take its course. Nothing could have stopped this. If you leave me be, no one will get hurt. Except Janine, and she’s got it coming!” (S3M43)

“Five, Five, get up here now! Five! My God, she’s fast. She’s strong! Five, code red! Warn the others! Tell Janie - !” (S8M26)

[iheartsunset]

PL headcanons!? Alberto headcanon, can we? OwO

Papa Louie Alberto HCs

(Sorry if this was late, I haven’t had school all week bc of Hurricane Sally and my power’s been out for a few days and internet connection is difficult)

-Alberto Marroquin is 19 years old and has recently moved to Calypso Island from Burgerburgh to be closer to his friends and parents, Daniel and Juana. When he isn’t working at the Freezeria, he’s spending most of his free time running a prank channel online and working as a professional soccer player. He’s a member of the Calypso Fam and shared a close bond with the other members, often being noted as the smartest one (in terms of academics, that is, he’s got no common sense, that’s reserved for Okalani and Nevada to some extent).

-His personality is extremely energetic and studious, but he hates feeling competitive, although he can’t help but feel that way on any sports’ field. He is either the friend that constantly goes “Guys we shouldn’t be doing this, I think the teacher’s coming! We’re all gonna get in trouble!” or “Hey guys, I found these cool fireworks, let’s set them on fire indoors and make s’mores!” and there’s no in between. He’s also the most mischievous out of the Calypso Fam, as he likes to conduct harmless pranks all the time. If anyone was hurt because of his pranks, though, he’d feel super guilty and would do whatever he could to help make anyone get better.

-Alberto was born in Burgerburgh, but his parents’ transferred them to Calypso Island when he was 4. There, he met Utah and Gremmie after pulling pranks on them, the three soon becoming best friends. He also grew a close bond with Kahuna, Okalani, and Nevada. Alberto regularly texted and video chatted them during high school and even gave Utah some ideas for her senior pranks.

-Alberto usually reads graphic novels with Penny or dances with her in the park for their dates. They also play soccer, relax on the beach, or play video games. Alberto’s not nearly a good enough ballet dancer to keep up with her, so he and Doan take mixed genre dance classes under Timm’s guidance.

-Because of his outstanding GPA and amazing soccer skills, Alberto was scouted to attend Croquembouche Preparatory Academy in Tastyville for high school. He tearfully had to leave his loved ones behind and moved into his grandfather’s apartment in nearby Burgerburgh since his scholarship didn’t cover room and board. He was looked down on and teased by many others due to his less privileged background and his homesickness, but he met an underclassman named Penny who he began dating. He also gained recognition from multiple college scouts for his soccer skills. He was still incredibly homesick, though.

-Because of all the AP classes and dual enrollment he did, Alberto really only has to attend 2 years of college to get a degree. He’s majoring in kinesiology while still being a soccer player. That being said, Alberto still finds balancing classes, work, and his channel a real hassle.

-His senior prank was one, of not, the most infamous in Croquembouche’s history. The story varies depending on who’s telling it, but the truth is that the meaner teachers’ and students’ cars were piled up on the soccer field with caramel running down all of them. Other rumors add on that the fountain itself was filled with caramel instead of water, as were all the toilets, sinks, and teachers’ thermoses. These are all untrue, though, but Alberto was never caught.

-Any time he goes to the beach, he’ll always make someone play soccer with him. He likes to challenge Maggie, Koilee, Penny, and Cooper to marches all the time, but they’re mostly rusty on their skills or just plain tired of soccer.

-Alberto can speak some Spanish and often practices and gossips the language with Rita, Rudy, and Cecelia. He likes to use what he learned to secretly plan pranks with Utah and Gremmie (who only have a two year high school education on the language and can’t really understand him, but smile and nod anyways).

-Alberto knew dang well that Calypso Island didn’t actually have only 12 inhabitants (it actually has about 237), he just wanted to feel closer to Penny and his friends through the Freezeria job.

-Alberto doesn’t associate himself with Utah and Gremmie’s matchmaking service , but he does like to observe whatever chaos comes out of it, including Hank’s many failures wooing Johnny (they ended up together anyway) and accidentally encouraging Robby to ask out Koilee’s aunt (Koilee was NOT happy to say the least).

-He started playing soccer because his grandfather loved it and taught it to him as a child. Even though his parents and the Calypso Fam weren’t huge soccer fans, they still encouraged him. They were all basically his personal cheerleaders.

-Alberto was that dude for me, the OG is you will. Actually, the OG was Mitch for me, but whatever, stan Alberto.

(Sorry if this was too short, internet is choppy and my phobia of the dark is suffering under all the not working lights)

[scavengerfive]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Zombies Run! Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Runner Five, Sam Yao, Santa Claus, Kris Kringle, Janine De Luca, Jody Marsh, Simon Lauchlan, Molly Harrison, Ed Harrison, Sara Smith, Maggie Doane, Chris McShell, Evan Deaubl, Original Characters, Bonnie (Zombies Run!), Archie Jensen, Comet, Jack Holden, Eugene Woods, Maxine Myers Additional Tags: Zombies Run! Secret Santa, Christmas Magic, Christmas, No Beta We Die Like Runners, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, One Shot, Holidays, New Canton Series: Part 2 of Scavenger's Secret Santa Selection Summary:

When Santa is grounded before he can deliver all his presents, it is up to you and the rest of Abel’s Runners to step up because even zombies can’t stop Christmas.

ZR Secret Santa 2020

Originally posted on Tumblr: https://scavengerfive.tumblr.com/post/638436040963670016/an-ornament-hung