#Monster rating

[horrormoviemonstermakeout]

MONSTER RATING: Godzilla (Shin Godzilla)

Shin Godzilla is a new spin on Godzilla from Japanese directors Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi, and it fucking rules. Look, I love most of the Godzilla movies, even though it went from a metaphor to the horrors of war and the nuclear bomb to basically just kaiju WWE, Godzilla was meant to be a terrifying monster. Shin Godzilla seeks to rectify it with this new incarnation - a mutilated, radiation-scarred amalgamation of tumorous, charred flesh.

Shin Godzilla follows the members of the Japanese government as they attempt to weave their way through the bureaucratic and social nightmare of a 400 foot tall irradiated monster seeking to destroy one of the most densely populated cities in the world. It’s a fairly interesting concept - it’s less a typical kaiju story and more of someone going “Okay, seriously, what if Godzilla actually existed in real life, what would happen?” I’ve been known to enjoy ridiculous hypotheticals and I, for one, am glad that Shin Godzilla follows through with it and still manages to make it interesting. The wonderful performances really sell that these people are responsible for the lives of several million citizens and that they are utterly aware of how limited their powers are. These are people trying to do the best they can to not let this be the worst humanitarian disaster on the face of the planet.

The movie’s cast is huge, I could swear they have enough actors to replicate the Japanese government one-to-one, which makes it a little difficult to pick out who our main protagonists are. The one we focus on the most is Rando Yaguchi (Hiroki Hasegawa), Deputy Chief Cabinet Secretary, our main protagonist with his friend Hideki Akasaka (Yutaka Takenouchi), the Prime Minister's aide, and Kayoco Anne Patterson (Satomi Ishihara), the US President’s envoy. As Godzilla grows more and more dangerous - with mutations that threaten to obliterate Tokyo, if not all of Japan - they must organize as many people as they can muster in order to devise a plan to stop Godzilla in its tracks. All the while attempting to placate the US, who is more than eager to destroy Godzilla, along with all of Tokyo, with nuclear force.

I know political commentary is not usually what people come to Godzilla for, but the “what if”-esque nature of this movie lends itself to it surprisingly well. Godzilla is treated both as a force of nature, much like an earthquake or hurricane, that appears randomly to cause arbitrary death and destruction, and a hostile entity that has to be combatted. It’s shockingly realistic for a disaster movie, we see how the government is stretched thin trying to handle evacuation, military deployment, trying to seek reason in a country with an itchy trigger finger resting on the nuke button - it gets tense watching them despair and panic, doing everything they can to minimize the loss of human life.

No punches are pulled at the expense of America, of course. Our response is immediate military deployment, with little to no regard for collateral damage or civilian casualties. Props to the movie for accuracy, even if attempts to fight Godzilla with raw military power are futile. Gunfire, cannonfire, missiles, everything seems to bounce off its burnt exterior without so much as a scratch. The only thing that manages to pierce its skin are the missiles dropped from American B-52 bombers. In response, Godzilla discharges dozens of laser beams from his back, destroying the bombers and reducing the metropolitan area to a burning, irradiated wasteland. Even if the missiles did succeed, the movie is quick to point out that the carpet bombing would’ve annihilated Tokyo anyways. When conventional weaponry doesn’t work, the US immediately plans to destroy both Godzilla and Tokyo through use of a nuclear bomb. Every character is justifiably horrified at this.

Godzilla in this movie is a being of ultimate violence, absolutely nothing can trump it. When there’s a weapon it can’t shrug off, it evolves to surpass it. More importantly though, he’s basically a wild animal trapped in a corner. Of course it’s going to lash out, you’re provoking the god of violence and he’s scared shitless. He is the ultimate hubris punisher, a being that exists to humble humanity and say “Your violence will only be met with destruction.” The calls for violence against it are noticeable once you pick it up, even in the beginning when it’s a large, unknown, whale-like creature in the Tokyo bay, the government officials are already calling for its extermination. The only way he is defeated is through scientific research and understanding, a blood coagulant that is developed only through study of its molecular structure and behavior. The movie’s big message is “Violence will only ever beget greater violence, it’s only through cooperation and understanding that humanity can survive,” and it’s using the American proclivity towards violence as the cudgel for this metaphor, which is great.

We talked a lot about what he represents, but let's get literal for a moment. Let's talk about the big man himself.

- MONSTER RATING - GODZILLA -

CREEPINESS: 7/10 - Classically, Godzilla is just one big dinosaur, and like, conceptually it’s pretty terrifying. He’s a giant monster that’s almost impossible to fight and can kill thousands of people pretty easily, though a lot of the older movies have added a bit of narm to him. For a lot of people, Godzilla is more a goofy rubber monster than something horrifying.

Shin Godzilla is horrifying. His design makes it look like he’s one-half dead, useless flesh and the other half painful, tumorous overgrowth, with the exterior of thick, folded over, burnt skin and dull red light faintly glowing from where it’s thinnest. Raw, exposed flesh that’s visible from the parts that aren’t covered in charred skin. The shriveled, contorted arms that seemed to have lost functionality. The several overlapping teeth that seem to just grow randomly from in and around its mouth. This beast is a product of radiation and every single part of it seems to yearn for a swift release. Existence for Shin Godzilla seems to be one of endless pain, as its tumor-ridden body continues to survive despite it threatening to fall apart.

Though what makes him even scarier than his design is that the movie portrays him like the personification of natural disaster. It cannot be reasoned with, it cannot be stopped, and the more you try to stop him, the more death and destruction he will cause. Even then, nothing humanity can do can actually stop it, it’s more powerful than any weapon on Earth, and its existence only signifies inevitable annihilation. Humans are no longer on top, and they’re no longer safe either. 

The ONLY thing that stops Godzilla from being truly terrifying is - and I’m sorry to say this - the eyes. Big, googly-eyed peepers that don’t suggest any form of brain activity in that skull. A lot of people seem to think it’s first appearance in the film, when it’s younger and less developed, is actually pretty cute in an ugly pug sort of way. The googly eyes carry on even to hid final form, which makes him look unfortunately goofy with his beady little eyes. I understand the movie is trying to go with the glassy, dead-eyed fish appearance to make it look even more like a walking corpse, but it doesn’t really stick. Otherwise, the design is phenomenal.

WETNESS: 6/10 - Surprisingly not as wet as you'D think for a giant fish. His final form makes him look like he survived an hour in the incinerator. The dry, black, cracked skin with a faint red glowing underneath conveying the unbridled nuclear heat stored inside. Though he loses his wetness as he evolves, his first appearance is wet as HELL.

Godzilla is a fish that’s become irradiated, and you can certainly tell that when he first appears. His skin is still green and not yet covered in burnt flesh, though with some parts that are just exposed musculature, as if its rapid growth is literally ripping him apart. As he crawls through the streets of Tokyo, blood spills out of his gills with every breath. This is the midpoint between what it once was and what it will become and it looks utterly painful. If his final form is nuclear incineration, his first form is nuclear disintegration. His cells are just barely holding together as he’s forcefully evolved into a being of destruction.

DATEABILITY: 8/10 - Let me give you a quote from the director of the 1954 Godzilla film, Ishir⁠ō Honda:

“Monsters are tragic beings. They are born too tall, too strong, too heavy. They are not evil by choice. That is their tragedy. They do not attack people because they want to, but because of their size and strength, mankind has no other choice but to defend himself.”

You’re a fish in the ocean, and by happenstance you accidentally find yourself in a nuclear waste dumping ground. The radiation mutates you. Slowly, painfully, you grow larger. Your fins are replaced with distortions of limbs, blood spills out of your gills, and you have no idea what is causing the pain you feel. Soon enough, you start surpassing buildings in size, and in a blind, pained stupor you find yourself in a city. Your body is too huge and unwieldy, as you move the infrastructure around you turns to rubble, and hundreds die in your wake. In response, humans have no choice but to try and kill you. You never chose this, you never even realized what was happening, but now you’ve become a god of death, the only thing you will ever cause is misery and disaster. You are utterly alone, because you’ve become built for violence, and violence will be the only thing you’ll know for the rest of your life.

Godzilla is all alone in this world, and no one can possibly understand them. He might be a terrifying destructive god on the outside but on the inside they’re angry and terrified. Can you imagine suddenly mutating into a gigantic monster, whose existence can only destroy? How alienating it must be that you cannot coexist with the life around you, that the only thing that can follow you is unmitigated death. No one will try to understand you, let alone sympathize with you, because you will only ever be a threat and nothing more. It’s fascinating that the song that plays when Godzilla unleashes his nuclear beams, “Who Will Know,” is one that’s sympathetic to him.

“If I die in this world / Who will know something of me? / I am lost, no one knows / There’s no trace of my yearning.”

Godzilla in this movie, despite his city-destroying size and power, is still the scared little guppy he once was. He doesn’t know any better, he doesn’t even know why this is happening to him in the first place. What he needs most of all is someone next to him, to see him for what he is, and to love and care for him despite his irradiated and monstrous appearance. Someone to quell the fiery radioactive fear in his heart, and show him the love he needs in a world that only seeks his death.

FINAL RATING: A GIANT TUMOR WORTH LOVING / 10

[cicadaghost]

HERETIC - a commission for @beatcroc !! this one was a blast, very fun design!!!

[sysig]

Two skeletons in a trench lab coat (Patreon)

Bonus:

He’s very careful! Everything was fine before you interrupted!

[worm-in-a-trenchcoat]

Mattel cancelling dolls and discontinuing lines because they aren’t selling well is just so annoying.

They aren’t selling well because they’re fucking ugly.

That’s literally it.

[bluebelleisabelle]

Free G3 Monster High Episodes (to be continued)

SEASON 1

1. The Monstering or option 2 (for those who may not have access to the Nick website)

2. Food Fight or option 2 (for those who may not have access to the YouTube channel)

3. Unfinished Brain-ness or option 2 (for those who may not have access to the YouTube channel)

4. Case of the Moondays or option 2

5. Portrait of a Monster or option 2

6. Witch Hitch

7. Part of the Pack

8. That Thing You Deuce or option 2 (preferred option, as it’s through an official medium)

9. Werewolf Weekend or option 2 (same information as #8)

10. Paw-zzle Pieces or option 2 (same information as #8)

11. Nightmare Nightmore or option 2 (same information as #8)

12. Out of Step or option 2 (same information as #8)

13. Pyramid Scheme or option 2 (same information as #8)

14. What’s Up, Watzie?

15. So Familiar

16. Crushed

17. Over Bro-tective

18. Horoscare

19. Flaunt Your Skeleton

20. Creepover Party

21. Creature Clash

22. Monster Movie

23. Earworm

24. Spell the Beans

25. Growing Ghoulia

26. Casketball Jinx (same link as above)

27. Cleo in the Kitchen

28. Case of the Missing Squeak (same link as above)

29. Pet Problems

30. License to Rock (same link as above)

31. Power Heist

32. Monster Midterms

33. Fur-mergency

34. Boogey Nightmare (same link as above)

35. Best Fiends

36: Scareer Day (same link as above)

37. Stone Alone

38. Horsin’ Around (same link as above)

39. Moonlit Fieldtrip

40. A Little Boost (same link as above)

41. Fresh Waters Run Deep

42. Sew Fierce

43. Witchful Thinking

44. Monster Match

45. The Monster Way

SEASON 2

1. Rule School

2. New Witch in Town

3. Play It Again, Clawd (same link as above)

4. Mummy in the Mirror (part of the beginning is missing; the first few minutes can be found in this video)

5. How to Scare a Banshee (same link as above)

6. So Chill

7. Mixed Up Meowlody

8. The Haunted Sand Castle Caper

9. Fangs for the Memories

10. Two-Riffic

11. Monster High-Jinks

12. Vamps Just Wanna Have Fun (same link as above)

13. The Babysitter’s Crypt

14. Humans in Highschool (same link as above)

15. Dawn of the Dread

16. Frankie Patrol (same link as above)

17. The Deuce Date

18. Big Paw, Little Paw (same link as above)

[mxwhore]

commission for @chrisis-averted of their monster Jmart design cuddling ♡ thank you sm for your support!

commission rates

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

If you’d like, can you share some info about a reptile you don’t often get an excuse to talk about? :D

I'd love to talk a bit about Gila monsters! I don't think I have on this blog before. :)

Gila monsters are probably the most well-known venomous lizards. And they're precious.

Unlike venomous snakes, their venom glands are located ata the base of their jaws, and the venom ducts don't go all the way up inside their teeth. Instead, they have teeny blood vessels inside their lower teeth that propel the venom out through grooves in their teeth.

Check out this setup. That is so cool!

They're also a rare example of a venomous reptile who most modern herpetologists agree evolved their venom for defensive use, not for hunting! Their venom isn't fatal to healthy people, and it's not really useful with their prey since they eat a lot of small mammals and eggs, but it is allegedly extremely painful.

I've never met anyone who's been bitten by one, because that's genuinely a hard thing to accomplish. They're reluctant to bite and they'll give you ample warning by opening their mouth and hissing first. The few times I've interacted with them they've been so slow and polite in disposition that it made me feel a little silly wearing protective equipment.

Their distinctive bumpy scale texture isn't just the scales - they actually have teeny little bony deposits, called osteoderms, that fill out those bumps. This is great for extra protection!

Cool, right?

Their venom has proven to be really great when used as an ingredient in drugs made to treat some types of diabetes. Awesome!

When they walk, they look so, so silly.

Like, you go, little guy.

I cannot independently verify the authenticity of this well-known quotation, but I want to leave this with one of the funniest things I have ever read. Supposedly written by a Dr. Ward for the Arizona Graphic in 1899:

"I have never been called to attend a case of Gila monster bite, and I don't want to be. I think a man who is fool enough to get bitten by a Gila monster ought to die. The creature is so sluggish and slow of movement that the victim of its bite is compelled to help largely in order to get bitten."

Absolutely obsessed.

[synfl0w3r]

I am running off of raw cookie dough and yuri fanart, god cannot strike me down

[yugiohcardsdaily]

If you have a different rating for each version of this monster, vote for the average!

[hoofpeet]

Baby's first monster

[colorful-horses]

greatest line delivery ever

[horrormoviemonstermakeout]

MONSTER RATING: Jean Jacket (Nope)

Nope (2022) is the third movie from writer and director Jordan Peele, and the inaugural review of this blog because I cannot stop thinking about this movie. It’s a horror movie. It’s a western. It’s about the cruel, dehumanization of spectacle. It’s about the erasure of black voices in Hollywood. It’s about what it means to really see something for what it is. There’s so much to even think about, it’s so dense and laden with ideas that you could probably write a thesis paper about it.

The plot boils down to this: OJ Haywood (Daniel Kaluuya) runs a horse ranch and rental service for film sets out in the Californian desert, with help from his sister Emerald “Em” Haywood (Keke Palmer). After the unusual death of their father (Keith David) by way of a coin falling from the sky and piercing his brain, the ranch is beset by money troubles and OJ is forced to sell many of his horses to the theme park next door, run by former child star Ricky “Jupe” Park (Steven Yeun), who is currently commercializing the tragic massacre of “Gordy’s Home,” in which a frenzied chimpanzee killed two of the cast members and disfigured one of them, for fame and profit.

Things start getting weird when an unidentified flying object - which the Haywoods later name Jean Jacket after Em’s horse - begins appearing around the ranch, abducting their horses and causing all electronic equipment to fail around it. We later discover this UFO is actually a giant, living organism that had been lured into the area by Jupe in hopes of taming it and turning it into an attraction for his theme park. This inevitably gets him, his entire family, and most of the park staff and guests eaten and digested by Jean Jacket.

The Haywoods, along with the eccentric electronic store employee Angel Torres (Brandon Perea) and the film director Antlers Holst (Michael Wincott), begin planning a way to get photographic evidence of this creature so that the nightmare will end and their ranch will be saved from money troubles.

That plot synopsis covers the jist of what occurs but, in all honesty, feels like it only scratches the surface of what is really occurring. Take the Gordy’s Home incident for example, what I would consider one of the thematic throughlines of the entire film. So thematically central, in fact, that the movie starts on the scene of a bloodied chimpanzee among the corpses of its co-stars. Actually, the movie starts with a Bible quote, Nahum 3:6 - “I will cast abominable filth upon you, make you vile, and make you a spectacle,” which I feel sums up one of its major themes and ties back again to the massacre; the inherent dehumanization of spectacle.

Jupe, at that point a child actor, is the only actor that manages to survive unscathed from the incident. When we first get introduced to Jupe, we see his room filled with memorabilia from the show, as well as numerous references to the massacre which he plays off with jokes. He’s clearly traumatized from the incident, and yet he charges people to come into this room and gawk at what happened. For fame, money, or just to suppress his trauma, he allows himself to become spectacle and lets himself be dehumanized by the people who laugh at his trauma.

And it is this desire for spectacle that gets him killed by Jean Jacket. Jean Jacket is the ultimate unknown, a bewildering, fantastical creature that Jupe knows will wow his audience. However, Jean Jacket refuses to be a spectacle. As OJ learns, the thing that most enrages the flying saucer is direct eye contact. If you look into it, you will die. It’s ironic, Jean Jacket is the most spectacular creature in this movie, central to so many horrific but extraordinary sights, but no, you cannot look at them. You will not dehumanize this creature. The only time it gets its photo taken, the only time the public finally sees it, is when it dies. It will cast an abominable spectacle upon you, but the moment eyes are set on it, it will die. The same way Gordy was turned into spectacle, both on the show and when it went on a rampage, before being killed by the police. You cannot look directly at it.

I have to go on to rate this monster but you can see what I mean when I say I can’t stop thinking about this movie right? Jean Jacket as a monster represents so many things and if I went into each and every thing the review would be ten pages long. I insist, watch this movie, you won’t regret it.

- MONSTER RATING - JEAN JACKET -

CREEPINESS: 9/10 - Genuinely, it is rare for a movie to get me this fucking tense while watching it. So many things about Jean Jacket just elicit pure fight-or-flight instinct from me as it depicts some of the most horrifyingly ingenious ways to create a terrifying monster.

Where to begin? The fact that we constantly hear it screaming, and that we later find out that the screaming is not actually coming from it but from the people trapped inside begging to be released? The fact that it’s the size of several school buses, a kaiju in its own right, but travels completely silently, hiding itself behind clouds? The way its disruptive electromagnetic field shuts down all electronic equipment, plunging the area into an extremely tense silence, only to be broken by its echoing clicks and moans?

Jean Jacket makes you feel unsafe. The movie effectively conveys how this creature is a predator, silently stalking behind clouds so that it can pounce on you the moment you’re disarmed. The vore scene, which I will discuss later, drills into your head the mortifying fate which is set out for you the moment you are captured - you will be eaten, and digested alive. Jean Jacket reduces you to prey; insignificant prey, like a mouse completely unaware of the eagle that has already set its sights on it a mile in the sky. You were already dead the moment you stepped into its territory.

I’ve never felt more terrified for the fate of the characters, I nearly screamed when Angel was almost consumed by Jean Jacket. Jordan and the animation team behind Jean Jacket deserve phenomenal praise, this is by far one of the more horrifying movie monsters ever thought up. I’ve seen posts discuss how, after seeing the movie, they’re suddenly afraid to stand underneath the sky. Do you understand how terrifying something has to be in order to make someone scared of the fucking sky? What a wonderful monster, I love it to bits.

WETNESS: 8/10 - We need to talk about the vore scene. The brief thirty second moment in which we see all the park attendees travel through Jean Jacket’s digestive system. The claustrophobic space in which we see the innocent park goers - men, women, and children all - become trapped inside its intestines as its guts pulsate, sending them further and further inside. Wailing, crying, retching and vomiting echo throughout as Jupe’s wife bumps up against the viscous, partially digested remains of a horse, and screams. None of these people make it out alive, they die in one of the cruelest ways imaginable.

I need you to understand something: I’ve always said that being digested would be the most horrifying way to die. Trapped inside this dark, fleshy pocket with absolutely no means of escape, no way to survive. To be slowly eaten away painfully by digestive enzymes as you scream in futility, knowing that you will die this way. This scene warped my face into sheer abject terror and it is absolutely fucking killer. The phenomenal sound design comes out in full force again as you hear every squelch and throbbing of Jean Jacket’s intestines, and the horrified screams of all the park attendees. You can practically feel yourself getting drenched in foul smelling intestinal fluid and stomach acid; the stench of vomit and rotting partially-digested flesh violating your nostrils.

Let’s not forget the scene in which Jean Jacket torments the Haywood ranch by vomiting the hundreds of gallons of park goer blood all over the house. You can see it traveling down the window panes, this viscous, almost congealed red goop of viscera and intestinal bile. These scenes are one of many that made the movie, and this goes without saying: extremely wet! We’re just a little ways away from perfect wetness as I do not believe the exterior of Jean Jacket is all that wet, in fact I would think it would be not too dissimilar from shark’s skin - coarse and rough, perhaps a bit rubbery. But make no mistake - when Jean Jacket eats you, you will know wetness.

DATEABILITY: 2/10 - Listen, I could talk about the insane head Jean Jacket could give you, I am painfully aware of the powerful suction force behind that mouth. I am also aware of how gorgeous its final form is, its dress could make anyone at the Met Gala jealous. Good for a one night stand but I’m here to talk about its compatibility as a romantic partner, and I doubt the relationship could go far with most people.

Let’s talk about the biggest deal breaker: the lack of eye contact. Sure, this is not an insurmountable hurdle, I’m sure the charismatic among you could woo a monster without making eye contact. However, responding to eye contact with horrific consumption and digestion feels like taking things a little too far. Jean Jacket has a lot of boundaries that need to be respected, and you should be ready for the consequences should you break them even once. To some, that’s already way too much baggage to deal with, but let’s say you do successfully manage to get with this flying cephalopod, what then?

I hope you like sitting and waiting, because this creature is an ambush predator, and spends most of its free time hiding inside a cloud digesting its food. Hobbies, interests? Throw them out the window, the only thing Jean Jacket needs in its life is a horse to eat. You might feel a lot of distance between you and the UFO, not only does it communicate very infrequently, but you might feel left behind when it travels into the upper atmosphere to hunt an exploitative theme park owner. Let’s just say that a relationship with this monster would not be a very rewarding one, and as beautiful as this beast is, I would suggest finding someone that doesn’t put so much distance between you two.

FINAL RATING: TOO PRETTY FOR PICTURE / 10

[starcurtain]

I think my favorite breed of RenHeng is definitely:

Even in the Shackling Prison, Dan Heng had just enough memories of Yingxing to be hopelessly, achingly in love with the man despite never meeting him in his current life, spending years agonizing over the cognitive dissonance of wanting to leave every single shred of his previous incarnation behind but being unable and unwilling to let go of the exquisite gentleness and warmth of that one person--

Only to be told that Blade is Yingxing. That his greatest source of horror and anger is the same person whose calloused fingers nightly trace the line of his cheek in his favorite dream, the one that used to make Dan Heng feel like a treasure, like something worth keeping--

And how, how is it fair that he's still being punished? How deep are the sins of his past that he isn't even allowed to keep the illusion of being wanted? How could Dan Feng take every fleeting glimmer of Yingxing's love and leave Dan Heng with only his hate?

How is he supposed to live, having all these broken, beautiful memories--and still having nothing at all?

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

I couldn't break myself into tears after watching the episode. Keiko reuniting with Lee, crying after finding out that Bill is dead, she has been living for about "56 days means 56 years".

Then here goes the battle with Godzilla and Ion Dragon. SWEET TOHO OUR KING'S GOING TO KILL THIS S***.

And finally, Keiko reuniting her son Hiroshi for the first time. Lee Shaw sacrifices himself for the safety of his friends and his co-partner to return from the surface world. I know I cannot bear myself to see this. Looks like Cate and Kentaro will have more answers about her and this involvement of Monarch. Now I am waiting for Season 2...

I swear if Lee Shaw is dead, and Season 2 won't be announced, I'm gonna kill everybody in this room, and then myself.

[sailing-through-hawkins]

✧ written for 'charm' ✧ word count: 548 ✧ rated: T ✧ cw: none ✧ tags: fluffy and humor! also eddie being roommates with stobin ✧ @steddiemicrofic (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

It’s a lazy Saturday and Eddie has never loved waking up late more than this moment.

Sunlight filters through the bedroom window, shining directly onto the expanse of Steve’s back like a beacon, highlighting every mole and scar and muscle in golden light. He sleeps on his stomach, because he’s a weirdo, with his arms crossed under his pillow. His face is right in front of Eddie, who smiles when those pretty lashes flutter.

“Mm?”

“Morning, baby.” Eddie presses a kiss to his forehead, fireworks lighting up his chest when Steve blinks his bleary eyes open and smiles the sleepiest, sweetest little thing.

“Mornin’,” he yawns and even the ever-invasive morning breath can’t keep Eddie from enjoying the moment. “Breakfast?”

By the time they get downstairs, Robin’s already up and scribbling away on the kitchen table, the lid of a pen being crushed between her teeth. She gives them a wave without even glancing up from her papers and Eddie snorts when he realizes there are at least three pens, all with their lids off, stuck in her hair bun.

Steve looks over at him from the coffee machine and gives him a small smile, setting off even more fireworks that fizzle at the tips of his fingers. He reaches out, he doesn’t know (or even care) for what, and settles a hand on that small spot on Steve’s back, right where his tailbone is. It’s funny that people have tailbones when they don’t have tails. If Eddie had a tail, he could - he could do all sorts of things, couldn’t he?

Humming, Eddie strokes his hand up Steve’s back, smirking when he shivers but still stares at the coffee machine, his cheeks turning a pretty pink. With a tail, Eddie muses as he reaches the nape of Steve’s neck and rubs circles at the warm skin, there’d be even more to touch, right? He could wrap it around Steve’s ankle, slither it up Steve’s leg, brush up against his thighs and keep them apart until -

"Hands off, that's soulmate-only privileges."

Eddie blinks at the firm grasp his wrist is caught in. Robin is holding his hand away from Steve’s head with a glare. Damn, she has a strong grip, Eddie can’t even wriggle his hand at all. “What privilege?”

“Steve’s hair.” She says and lets go as Steve shuffles away towards the stove top, his coffee mug full and steaming.

Wait, what?

Eddie scoffs. "Uh, I'm his boyfriend? I totally get to touch Steve’s hair."

"Oh I'm sorry,” Robin gasps, her eyes wide and her tone sickly-sweet. “Did I stutter? Did I fucking say boyfriend privileges?"

“I – what?! I totally get boyfriend privileges, I get to touch his hair!” Eddie sputters, looking over to Steve as he starts cracking two eggs with one hand (damn that man for his ability to do anything and make Eddie wanna kiss the life out of him) into a frying pan. “Right, Stevie?”

His boyfriend, sun to his moon, light of his fucking life, shrugs and gives a sleepy, "It's her good luck charm."

Robin walks backwards and leans against Steve, pointedly ruffling his hair. "Exactly. It’s finals week and you will not blow this for me, Munson.”

Eddie throws his hands up. “Guess I’ll just suffer then!”

[kindaasrikal]

Morro except after all the healing and growing he meets the preeminent again and she destroys his mental state, leaving him once again without his sanity.