#My Best Friends an Alien hijinx ensue

[81scorp]

My top 8 movies of 2023

Hey folks! Its that time again! 2023... the year that I finally went back to the cinema again after having been away from it since 2020.* It was also the first time that I got sick after having been healthy and sickness free for four years (thanks to good hand hygiene and social distancing). It was only a matter of time I suppose. But now you dont have to wait to the end of 2024 for my list of movies I saw in 2023 thats ranked according to my own personal taste and bias! Why 8? Because Im not a professional filmcritic who has time to see most of the movies that came out this year and sometimes other duties got in the way. So I only had time to see 8 movies in the cinema**.

(*Unless you count that time I saw No time to die, which was in 2021.) **Actually, I only had time to see 7. One of these films was on Netflix. I was gonna make it a top 7 list but I decided to put it on my list since: A: the film came out 2023. and B: I technically saw it in its intended format since it never had a theatrical release. So its not like I missed an opportunity to see it in theaters.

But anyway, with all the technicalities of the way, here are the movies…

8: Antman and the wasp: Quantumania Scott Lang, his daughter Cassie, Hope Van Dyne, Dr. Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne are all sucked into the Quantum realm. When trying to get back to their own world they run into an evil man named Kang, hijinx ensue. It did not exceed my expectations but it didn`t go below them either. I expected the usual MCU quality from this and was not dissapointed. Safe and familiar. Not great, not bad, just OK.

7: The Marvels Carol Danvers teams up with her old friends daughter Monica and Kamala Khan, a big admirer of her, thanks to the power of an ancient, alien bling to fight an angry Kree woman who wants to fix her home planet at the cost of other planets, Hijinx ensue. Like Quantumania I didnt expect this to be better than the average MCU movie and was not disappointed. Its higher on the list than Quantumania because Iman Vellani is fun and I like the musical scene. Its OK.

6: Wish Reminds me of Bryan Singers Superman Returns, in that it is a love letter and homage to something that came before it, but other than that it is not much else. I wanted this movie to do better at the box office, but I also wanted it to be better. People are disappointed in this because this was supposed to be a milestone, the movie made to celebrate that the Disney animation studio has been around for 100 years! It just couldnt live up to the hype. But if you take all the hype out of the equation and just view as its own thing its… OK. I liked it more than Pocahontas. The script could have been polished a little and the songs could have been better (especially "This is the thanks I get"). Like I said, it`s OK. Worth a watch.

5: The Super Mario Bros. Movie At first I had some reservations about Chris Pratts voice coming out of Marios mouth, but it quickly grew on me. Wasnt too crazy about Fred Armisens as Cranky Kong though, but he didnt have much screentime. It may be a movie about Super Mario, but it is also made by Illumination, and there were times where I could feel their fingerprints on the movie. Of course, Why shouldnt there be? They made it after all. Yes, but remember, Illumination made Minions, the cinematical equivalent of entertaining a one year old by dangling your car keys in front of them. There was one scene where they used used Ahas "Take on me" that had me scratching my head and wonder if that really was the best song for that scene. Good despite being an Illumination movie. Id tell you to go see it, but judging from its box office theres probably a chance that you already have.

4: M3gan After her parents die in a car accident, eight year old Cady is sent to live with her aunt Gemma who works as a roboticist at a high-tech toy company. Gemma has built a humanoid child-sized doll powered by artificial intelligence called M3gan. M3gan becomes Cadys companion, babysitter and does things that Gemma doesnt have time to do, like play with her and reminding her to flush the toilet. Then after a while, things go sideways and M3gan starts to become overprotective of Cady. This movie reminds a little about the Nighmare on Elmstreet sequels in that it isnt afraid to be silly. Right from the start it tells us with a commercial for a silly toy that it is a comedy and a satire. In that way its similar to Paul Verhoeven`s Robocop. It has comments about parenting, the use of A.I. in todays society and it makes you ask questions, like: Would M3gan have stayed good if Cady had remembered to flush that damn toilet?

3: The boy and the heron Mahito, a young boy who lost his mother in a hospital fire during World War 2 moves into a new home in a rural area to live with his father and his new wife, Natsuko. One day Natsuko disappears and when Mahito looks for her he meets a peculiar grey heron who at first tries to mislead him but then helps him in his search for Natsuko. It takes a while for the plot to get moving and some of the characters feel a little underwritten. That little criticism aside, its an interesting, visually beautiful and very surreal movie. A welcome alternation from the other animated big studio movies that Ive seen so much of lately. The kind that is aimed at such a broad, general audience that you can really feel how focused grouped it was. It is very unapologetically a Miyazaki movie.

2: Nimona In a futuristic medieval kingdom surrounded by a great wall, Ballister Boldheart, the first commoner to become a knight, is framed for the murder of the Queen. When trying to clear his name and prove his innocence he runs into Nimona, a chaotic shapeshifter who helps him in his endeavour. Ballister learns a few things about his sidekick but also about the kingdom he had sworn to protect. It gets a better spot than The boy and the heron because it feels more accessible, like it wanted to reach a wide audience but at the same time still keep some artistic integrity. If I have any criticism its aimed at the character Todd. He feels like a character from an Illumination movie that accidentally wandered on to the set and no one had the heart to tell him that he was in the wrong place, so they just let him be in the movie. It does the "3D that looks 2D" a little better than Wish, is fun and has some sincere, heartfelt moments. Its message is important, not just in this time but had it come out earlier it would still have been just as important. It dares to do a little more than most animated movies that has come out lately and the fact that it was made and released at all with it`s troubled production history is itself pretty damn impressive.

And now… My number one pick…. will be revealed after an honorable mention!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem Its the story that you have heard before: Four turtles and a rat get mutated to a more humanoid shape and size thanks to some goo, they live in the sewers and fight bad guys using ninjitsu. But here is a little new take on that old story: This time the four turtles are curious about and want to be part of the surface world but their mentor and father figure forbids them because he is prejudiced against humans. So its basically "TMNT meets The little mermaid". The Turtles feel more like teenagers in this one than they have in any of the previous movies. It has an anarchic, juvenile charm, deliberately misshapen design on some characters and beneath the immature humor there is also alot of sincerity. Its familiar, different, its funny. Give it a watch.

Why is this an Honorable Mention? Because like Nimona I didnt see it in the cinema but unlike Nimona it did have a theatrical release and in these lists I make Im very much about the movies Ive seen in the cinema, which is the best place to see a movie. Because of that I was hesitant to put it on this list but decided to include it since it came out 2023. Also, I didnt know where to put it on my list. I think I`d place it higher than Wish.

And now… Drumroll please. My number one pick for 2023 iiis…

1: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 If I had a nickel for everytime a movie made in 2023 that had Chris Pratt in the lead role had “No sleep 'til Brooklyn” in its soundtrack Id have two nickels. Which isnt much, but its weird that it happened twice. It has jokes and funny moments but they dont cut off the moments that are sincere and heartfelt, it gives them room to breathe, (take notes Marvel). It feels like the end, not of a book, but of a chapter (because, lets be real, this is Marvel). A chapter has ended and James Gunn made sure to put a lot of work and love into telling a story that would feel right for the characters and their journey. In this day and age where many movies, atleast the Disney ones, have to have badguys with sympathetic backstories, or last minute redemptions, Chukwudi Iwujis High Evolutionary is a welcome change of pace. A modern day Dr Mengele so obsessed with creating a perfect society with the perfect race that he doesnt care who or how many dies in the process. In the end you are really rooting for this guy to get his ass handed to him. Even if it`s made clear in the post credit scenes that this is not the end and that we will see more of the Guardians, this movie gives a feeling of conclusion. You did good, Gunn. You did good. Also, congrats on having the first F-bomb in the MCU!

And those are the movies I saw in 2023.

Movies I wanted to see in 2023 but didnt get the chance to because of time or other duties: Oppenheimer, Barbie, Indiana Jones and the dial of destiny, Elemental and Cocaine bear.

Movies Im looking forward to in 2024 are: Dune 2, Deadpool 3, Inside out 2 and Furiosa: A Mad Max saga.

I hope that 2024 is, if not a good year for movies, then atleast not a bad one.

Written stuff: 53

Started writing this: 2023-12-24

I`m a little late with this one, but better late than never as they say.

Atleast I got it out before february, I consider that a win.

And as usual: English is not my first language, so if my writing doesn`t seem to flow naturally, you know why.

[improbablecarny]

another good half life thing is the way that all these dangerous aliens are presented as being also kinda cute. taking weird monsters and being like "but what if one was friendly/they were also cute" is a home run for me. i hope we get to see more of how houndeyes and bullsquid and etc have taken to earth in the next game

[madegeeky]

Giftening 2020: Obligatory Vote for These Post (spoiler version)

Want the non-spoilery version? Seriously, though, super spoilery for main plot points for a lot of these. Skip the ones you don’t want to know about.

Ones with * are my nominations, so you know where my biases lie. :P Ones in bold are my top pick for the categories. I did not include things that don’t need the boost (like Utena).

ANIME 

Aggretsuko - A tv show about an unassuming shy red panda woman who works in an office building and deals with the stress of it by going to karaoke and screaming out death metal. The show largely deals with her making friends with two women who she admires and a dude who likes her. The dude who likes her is actually a geniunely interesting storyline because at the end of the first season (which I’ve not seen beyond), he basically admits that he’s built this image of her in his head that isn’t real and he wants to know the real her. (Which, fuck yeah.)

Fushigi Yuugi* - This is a story about two teens who used to be friends fighting over a man which is literally the antithesis of everything Jet is. And yet, Jet watched the whole damn thing. Watch her squirm as she has to deal with that in a liveblog format. You can get a preview of some of that in Doc’s liveblog of it that she did for Jet.

NON-ANIME ANIMATED

Archer* - This is an animated parody of James Bond made for adults. It's offensive as fuck because Archer, the titular character, is a James Bond stand-in and that character can also be offensive as fuck. In fact, one thing to appreciate about this show is that all the characters are shitty, awful people and the show never attempts to excuse their shitty, awful behavior. Plus, it's one of the few shows where half the main characters are women. I am a tiny bit hesitant to rec this for a liveblog due to the offensivness however, as far as I can tell it's not popular on tumblr, and those are generally the ones that cause the most trouble so... 

Daria - The story of a misanthropic teenager, her family, and her best friend. The characters are specifically meant to appear to be tropes before slowly being unveiled as three dimensional people. It's got a dry sense of humor that I think Jet will enjoy. I actually didn't know until years after I watched this that it was a spin-off of Beavis and Butthead (which I hated) so don't let that dissuade you. 

LIVE ACTION

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I haven't seen past a certain point because it starts going super deep into exploring depression and that is one of my main triggers for a depressive episode, so I cannot speak of later eps. However, this show starts out funny and silly and evolves into a show exploring how toxic the main character actually is and how unhealthy her coping mechanisms are. It's amazing to see a character type whose actions are usually excused or written off as funny instead be specifically called out as being awful and toxic. (It was a Shit Show is still one of the best songs I've ever heard and Mr. Geeky and I sing it to each other whenever shit hits the fan.) 

Hannibal* - If you know of Hannibal, you know the basics premise is that of a man who eats people and is chased by the FBI. The writing in this is some of the best writing I've ever had the pleasure of seeing in a piece of media: it's subtle, smart, and trust its audience to follow along without having their hand held. However, what's really great about the TV show is that it's not afraid to do its own thing. It constantly fucks with your expectations and deconstructs and explores tropes in ways I've never seen before. I haven't seen the ending yet but I highly doubt it's going to end in a place where Silence of the Lambs will happen. The acting is fucking great and even though Anthony Hopkins gives an amazing performance as Hannibal Lector, after seeing Mads Mikkelsen play him there's no going back to Hopkins. In general, if you're looking for something original (which is ironic considering it's based on a book and there are several movies) and smart, I cannot recommend this enough. 

Russian Doll* - (Doc, please skip this one, as in 5 years when you're done with Two Storms, this is one of the things I'm considering nominating should I ever win a liveblog again.) I don't really know how to explain this show because it's so fucking weird and is so focused on character and ideas that the plot is both super simple and extremely complicated. It's a story about a woman who starts to relive the same day over and over again except, instead of the typical thing where it starts over when she falls asleep, it's only until she dies (so sometimes she lasts for hours, other times for a couple days). However, almost immediately there are signs that something else is going on, that something outside of the main character's repeating day, something has gone horribly wrong. (Count the fish.) It's a very thoughtful, character-driven show, more about exploring ideas than plot which I, personally, didn't mind at all. Another one I highly recommend overall with much less blood and gore than Hannibal.

Xena - IT'S FUCKING XENA PEOPLE! Okay, but just in case you don't know what the show is about is through cultural osmosis, Xena is a show about a woman who used to be a truly horrible murderous bitch and her continual attempts to make up for the wrongs she has done. The main relationship in the show is between Xena and her (girl)friend, Gabriel, and although the show can be ridiculously silly (time is made up and history doesn’t matter!), it also explores deep, dark issues. One of the best things this show explores is the idea of redemption and forgiveness and that perhaps nothing Xena does will ever get her those things.

LIVESTREAM

Crank* - Jason Statham plays a man who has been given a poison that slowly cuts off his adrenaline, meaning that eventually he'll die. He has to do increasingly ludicrous things to get his adrenaline pumping overtime to make up for it slowly being cut off. It's one of the most fucking bananas thing you'll ever watch but is just a bunch of fucking fun. (CW: Public sexual assault. I only mentioned because it’s a scene that last for a bit. It's a complicated scene so I won't get into it here but send an ask if you want more details.)

Dale and Tucker vs Evil* - Dale and Tucker, two hillbilly best friends, are going into the woods to fix up their vacation home when they stumble across some college kids. Random circumstances make the college kids think D&T have kidnapped their friend and so they decide they need to attack D&T to get her back. Hijinx ensue. I don't want to say much more because there's a moment that is, to this day, still one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen, largely because I did not see it coming.

GAMES

Doki Doki Lit Club - This is a game about games. You play a guy in a dating sim. Your first playthrough everything seems normal enough. You join the literature club, meet and talk to girls, and then one of the girls commits suicide. And then game restarts and the girl who committed suicide just... doesn't exist anymore. Your replay the exact same days but it's as though she never existed. Things only get weirder from there. This game does a great job of turning dating sim tropes on their head, as well as exploring games in general. (Content warning for a lot of things. Let me know if you want more details.)

Slime Rancher (stream) - There's really not much to spoil here. You play a woman who is in charge of a ranch full of slimes. There's some messages you'll find, left by the old owner, telling story about their romance. There also some messages between you character and a deliberately gender-ambiguous significant other. And that's about the closest to story you get. Otherwise it's just catching and ranching slimes.

Subnautica* - Fucking fuck I love this game. When this game first starts it appears to be your typical survival game with no real direction other than what you want to explore. But then you find an alien structure. And you realize that your spaceship didn't randomly crash. And you find out that there's no way get off this planet except to explore deeper and deeper and find out what the aliens were doing on this planet. A genuinely beautiful story, told mostly through entries in data pads and voice messages left behind, this ending is one of the most moving ends I've ever experienced and I never ever would have expected to be able to say that about a survival game.

We Happy Few* - In this alternate universe, the Germans invaded Britain during WW2 (although, through exploring the world, you learn that the differences started well before that). When the story starts up, the Germans have left Britain behind and Britain, for unknown reasons, appears to be cut off and/or abandoned by the rest of the world. The majority of the country is constantly hopped up on a drug called Joy, which is specifically used to help them forget something horrible that happened in the past. (I have theories.) The story starts when your character goes off his Joy and gets kicked out of society. There's a general sense of unease about everything and the more you learn the more that unease grows. The art style is great and the world building fascinating.

MISC (there’s nothing spoilery here but it feels weird to not have it)

Interactive Horror Story Livestream - Doc has talked a bit about this in at least one of her Xmas streams and it sounds amazing. Not only is Jet hilarious with horror stuff but knowing Doc’s writing skill, it will be something that we’d never want to miss.

Bean Boozle When Failing a Hard Game* - I am a sadistic bitch, I admit to this, and I love watching people eat Bean Boozle, the jelly bean of horrible flavors. One of my favorite videos content creators has done is playing an incredibly difficult game and then being forced to eat a random one every time they fail.