#My family is like deeply ingrained in like... If you are older then 21 you shouldn't make a big deal of your birthday. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yikesharringrove · 4 years

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tagged by: @lostnoise ty 💕

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? I write almost entirely in this one specific brand of purple pen (I’ve found it helps with ye olde dyslexia) but black is the second best option. I also have a collection of gel pens, so I like those too.

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? City. But like, a smaller city is okay.

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? Um, like any skill? I have none? I want to learn ASL, though.

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? When I drink coffee (which is almost never) I put a lil in.

5. what was your favorite book as a child? The Gaspard and Lisa series.

6. do you prefer baths or showers? I’m the fucking worst bc when I shower, I’ll just like, lay down in the tub for a while. So technically shower.

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? It’s be cool to be a fairy.

8. paper or electronic books? I’m not a huge reader, so I have a LOT of audiobooks lol. I mean, I love paper books, but I also love on electric books how I can change the font size and color and stuff.

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? My banana skirt, or I have a collection of vintage band shirts from my parents, that are pretty cool.

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? My legal name is Abigail and I fucking hate it, but I don’t want to go through the rigor of leagally changing it when everyone jsut calls me Abbi anyway 🤷‍♀️

11. who is a mentor to you? One of my professors. She’s an AMAZING woman, and she’s so wonderful. She and a few other women spoke out against one of their old bosses that sexually assaulted several of them, and they managed to get him fired and kicked off the board of a newspaper he was on. She was the first person I opened up to about my own experiencees after that.

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? I think it’d be cool to be really recognizable by a certain group, so like be famous for a niche thing where those fans would recognize you, but not EVERYONE in the world would recognize you. I’d like to be an actor or a musician I think.

13. are you a restless sleeper? oh yee

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? Depends. I can be, but I also don’t really care about romantic things in general.

15. which element best represents you? um, idk. Fire, maybe?

16. who do you want to be closer to? my friends that live three states away.

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my friends that live three states away.

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. My earliest memory is of driving in the car listening to DMX with my mom, which describes her pretty well.

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? I’ll put really anythign in my maw. I’ve been lucky to travel a lot and I’ll try anything, so I’ve eaten sheep liver, and bull testicle, and pig brain, and cricket.

20. what are you most thankful for? The opportunities in life I’ve had.

21. do you like spicy food? oh yeah

22. have you ever met someone famous? Yeah, I have some good stories lol

23. do you keep a diary or journal? I try to. It’s helpful for me to write things out, I’m just bad at actually doing it daily. I’ve been keeping one for the past few weeks pretty well though, since there’s been a lot on my mind.

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? I fucking hate writing in pencil.

25. what is your star sign? taurus/aries

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy!!!! I only pour a lil cereal in at a time so that it doesn’t get soggy

27. what would you want your legacy to be? That I was kind.

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? I’m not a big reader, so again, audiobooks. I just finished Always Look on the Bright Side of Life: A Sortabiography By Eric Idle of Monty Python and I really liked it.

29. how do you show someone you love them? my love leanguage is giving/recieving gifts, so I give a lot of stuff. Like jsut little things, like nice post it notes, or like, by them a coffee or smthn

30. do you like ice in your drinks? depends

31. what are you afraid of? amounting to nothing, that everyone hates me, being a failure, letting my family down. To name a few

32. what is your favorite scent? I realy like floral scents, or good food cooking, or like, pine.

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? If I don’t know them well, it’s title and surname, but I have a lot of middle aged adult friends, so they’re first names always.

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d travel the world.

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I’ve only been in the ocean a few times and I’ve only swam in it twice, but that was to snorkel and my sister and I swam with leopard sharks and it was amazing, but it’s easier to swim in a pool lol

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? If I saw the someone dropped it, I’d give it back, but if not, mine.

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? I’ve seen a lot and I wish on all of them.

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? To love, to be soft and kind and giving, but to understand when to be hard and put yourself first.

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I have a lot of plans. The first one I get is gonna match with my sister, in memory of a friend of ours.

40. what can you hear now? I’m listening to some music

41. where do you feel the safest? In my room in my apartment. I’m subleasing to a friend rn bc I had to move back in with my parents for quarantine :/

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? My deeply ingrained feelings of not being good enough.

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I would like to live in the late 60s-early 70s for a bit. See good artists when they were up and coming, go to Woodstock.

44. what is your most used emoji? 🥺

45. describe yourself using one word. cold

46. what do you regret the most? Moving back home, tbh.

47. last movie you saw? I watched Gremlins. I went to the drive in the other day with my sister and we saw The Goonies and Gremlins.

#yikes talks #this was a long one oh whoa

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trickster-archangel · 5 years

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Giorgio Armani, Milano Fashion Week 2020

(ANSA) - MILANO, 21 FEB - "Si può stuprare una donna in vari modi: o buttandola in un sottoscala o suggerendole di vestirsi in un certo modo". Così Giorgio Armani, subito dopo la sfilata della linea Emporio, si scaglia, con quella che definisce "una battuta", contro il diktat delle tendenze, che manca di rispetto e toglie libertà alle donne.

Con la sua collezione, "ho dato una libertà alle donne - sottolinea - che è una vera libertà". Non è libertà, invece, il fatto che "la signora che cammina per strada vede un manifesto di una donna con il seno e il fondoschiena in vista, e vuole farlo anche lei: questo è un modo per stuprare".

"E' un momento in cui posso dire ciò che penso" dice Armani, scagliandosi contro le tendenze che "non sono niente, bisogna migliorare la donna che vive adesso". Ognuno può scegliere di proporre ciò che vuole, ma "evitiamo il ridicolo - è l'invito - poi diciamo che le donne vengono stuprate in un angolo, ma le donne continuano a essere stuprate dagli stilisti, da noi. Trovo che questo sia un po' indegno".

***

(ANSA) - MILAN, FEBRUARY 21 - "You can rape a woman in various ways: either by throwing her into a basement or by suggesting that she should dress in a certain way". So Giorgio Armani, immediately after the fashion show of the Emporio line, lashes out, with what he defines as "a joke", against the diktat of trends, which lacks respect and takes away freedom from women.

With his collection, "I have given women a freedom - he underlines - which is a true freedom". It is not freedom, however, the fact that "the lady walking on the street sees a poster of a woman with her breast and lower back in view, and she wants to do it too: this is a way to rape".

"It is a time when I can say what I think" says Armani, leaning against the tendencies that "are nothing, we must improve the woman who lives now". Everyone can choose to propose what they want, but "let's avoid the ridiculous - it's the invitation - then let's say that women are raped in a corner, but women continue to be raped by the stylists, by us. I find this to be a bit 'unworthy ".

***

I think there's nothing to say. I remember, in far away 1991 at the starting of middle school, becoming friend with a girl (and her family) who probably were the only Muslims in town.

I remember talking with her gentle-eyed mother, who was Iranian and had a medicine degree but here was a simple mother and wife.

I remember her wearing the veil, and I honestly did not find anything different from my granny who used to wear a different kind of veil, but still a veil...or myself, who sometimes still was used to wear a sort of veil to, instead of a cap. She left her daughters free to wear it or nit, and they chose not to.

I remember her asking, mildly..."Is it really freedom, for you here, to dress like you must exhibit every inch of your bare skin to please men? Do you do it for your own choice, or is it just habit and fashion so deeply ingrained in your mind?"

At the time, it was more addressed to women or older girls, but now it's usual also for 13 years old..and dressed like that, eve if they don't see the trouble, men see them as sluts, even if they're kids.

Is this freedom?

#fashion #women

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gwystyl · 3 years

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turning 21 rambling thoughts:

-I feel very small. Some is negatively, some neutrally.

-I think I like myself better when I’m alone

-It’s very weird to work a balance of

deeply ingrained self loathing + thinking you’re better when you’re alone, which spurs from hating yourself when you’re not, but also learning to like yourself when you are?

-My memory problems are worrisome. They continue to grow worse over years. They account for my sporadic mood changes. I quite literally can forget how close I am with someone because I just don’t remember? And have had times where I’ll have to write down like ‘talked to x today’ so I gauge how close we are by like amount of time shared together. I understand my hoarding of pictures on my phone comes from the fact that they help me remember. It’s becoming kind of difficult to deal with. I don’t know what it is, something like anterograde amnesia? No one really listens or does anything when I try to bring it up medically, and suggested EEGs seem unhelpful bc theyre finicky to begin with, and very expensive and uncovered. I wonder at this point if it’s actual brain damage, and what this might mean for the future, how these could continue to worsen and where that could leave me. For now, I just feel very spacey.

-I’ve felt very introspective. Maybe that’s why I like myself better when I’m alone, I consume media and sit with it and maybe that’s ok. Ok to be small and just with yourself. It’s make me think that’s how I should be.

-My guilt continues to grow the older I get, the more my family has to support me as I pass ages where they’d normally have to support me less. My trauma has not resolved nearly at all. I fear what this means to me. I feel I’ll never be a functioning member of society. I can never finish or go to school, and never have a job. It’s so shameful that just pressure is a trigger. I’m very shameful and guilty all the time. I feel guilt for nearly everything, and that’s a difficult way to live.

-I’ve written more. It’s made me introspective, and work through issues, and it helps, I think, and makes me feel better, I think. I’m happy I’ve done so much. It’s rare to feel proud, but I am. I also have the nagging disappointment and pressure on me for not completing, but when is that never there?

-My bad memory can help distract me from bad feelings and make me distance myself from them by sheer virtue of making everything feel faint and far away, which I think probably seems really grim from an outside perspective, but well that’s how my brain works or doesn’t work, more accurately. Again, probably not a great way to live.

-I’m very lonely. But I try not to be or think about it or admit it to myself. I tell myself I’m better when I’m alone, which I do believe I am, but again, that’s my self loathing. And introspection comes in and I tell myself why it’s better, and it’s a very grim thing to think about, but at this point I think a probably very grim life is what’s ultimately in the cards for me. It’s hard not to feel like it’s always been meant that way. I keep repeating the same mistakes and patterns and I’m aware of it but then they come true again, so I can’t not be aware of them or really tell myself they’re not true because they always, always are. And probably each time my world has ended and then I ultimately restarted the cycle, so I guess maybe this time I’m trying not to. Like I’ve learned my lesson, been burned or bitten and twice shy finally. It’s exhausting, it’s inevitable, and I’ve decided I’m a better person when I’m alone.

-No comparison really from a year ago because I really cannot remember that! Which is probably a good thing.

-There’s a nagging thought in the back of my head as I write this of “you should keep those things to yourself in the future”, which I probably agree with in the deepest self-loathing parts of me, but, well, having one’s own mind just stay containing all these thoughts with no outlet is a special kind of hell that’ll leave you liable to explode at some point. Which is more of a worry for later-down-the-road me.

-Parting thoughts…my world is small and things stay the same more than they change, I think. I’ve probably stayed the same more than I’ve changed, and that’s probably not a good thing. Life is static, but it always is. So I have absolutely no clue what the future holds. It’s definitely pretty grim. But I let my medication and near debilitating memory distract me from that.

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fracturcs-blog · 6 years

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lmaooo. i’m so late fml aslkjksldk OKAY HI HELLO i’m snow and i’ll be playing the grumpiest grouchiest detective with a case of emotional constipation bc slytherin capricorns amirite. i’ll post the rest of my app below the cut and dive into the intro tag and message y’all for plots <33

* △ — the dark lord has targeted [ THABIT COLTON ] ! the muggles say he holds resemblance to [ XAVIER DOLAN ]. the [ 26 ] year old [ AGENDER ] was [ FOCUSED & AMBITIOUS ] before the war, but has now become [ PARANOID & PESSIMISTIC ]. though they were once a part of [ SLYTHERIN ], they have now taken up the position of a [ DETECTIVE AT THE DEPARTMENT OF MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT, AURORS’ OFFICE, INVESTIGATIONS DIVISION. ]. whispers throughout the ministry claim that the [ HALF-BLOOD ] is actually [ NEUTRAL ], but i wouldn’t report that to the daily prophet. ( snow, 21, gmt+3, she/her. )

HEADCANONS

⁂ name analysis :

Thabit Colton.

Thabit -- a name that fit him like a bell, like a crown, like a shackle. Fixed, still, unchanging. For someone whose sights are ever set upwards, whose aspirations are always bigger, bigger, bigger, who’s always looking for ways to step up the proverbial ladder and take the prize set atop, Thabit’s stubborn pride and unmoving will have kept him from change. Kept him from moving, from changing, from budging -- he is a prodigy, that is true, a clever mind scarcely seen in this day and age, catching onto meanings and turning variables about and reaching conclusions many would flounder at for hours, but his thick skull and rooted pride have kept him from truly evolving, as a person, despite his many achievements and accomplishments in his field of work.

Colton -- A clearly british name that flows crookedly juxtapositioned with his first: clunky, he feels, when introducing his full name, even now as he’s reached his twenty-seventh year of life. Thabit Colton, half arabian and half british and it feels, to him, as though he is constantly in a battle with identity, as though he is always half something and half not, introducing himself as Colton with the professional air his occupation requires, introducing himself as Thabit when the air is not tense, when he is able to breath long and quiet and not pull his muscles so tautly all the time. Despite this, he is very fond of the culture his mother’s side of the family brings, perhaps more so than he was supposed to be -- the black and white movies she liked to watch so much, the arabian music she played in the background as she relaxed with a glass of wine at the end of a long day, the rice and grape leaves she’d prepared them when they were younger, the trips back to egypt they went on whenever they’d get the chance. it was all a part of him growing up, and he had loved every bit of it. Hesitantly, as though he was stealing sweets from a hidden jar that was not meant for him, but he loved it nonetheless.

⁂ gender and pronouns :

Thabit is agender, though he is yet unaware of this fact. Thus far he/him are the only pronouns he’d considered for himself and it’d be much too long before he would even begin to toy with other options. The concept of ‘gender’ had always been lost on him, like a dark void he can never see beyond but can only speculate at -- he knew the anatomy and the biology of gender, but what that meant for how people “should” act and interact with one another and how it affects the relationships of people had always been a mystery to him. He is frequently irritated by this, as he is always adamant in knowing things, but social constructs and behavior have never set well with him and he had always found it difficult to relate to his binary peers.

⁂ sexuality :

Thabit is demisexual, panromantic. The only times he had ever felt sexual attraction, it was towards someone who he’d developed an emotional attachment to beforehand, and even then his desire for sex had been inconsistent. He is not a particularly romantic individual and has an aversion of intimate relationships of any kind, growing distrustful of affectionate gestures that come from anyone not within his immediate family -- gender is not a factor in how he chooses romantic partners, however.

⁂ blood status :

halfblood. His mother is a muggleborn witch of egyptian heritage, his father is a white british wizard born to a pureblood family. Being a halfblood might’ve been easier on his brother, surrounded as he was with yellows and blacks, but Slytherin provided little room for self acceptance -- Thabit is at once proud of his halfblood status and ashamed of it. He knows his blood has no bearing on his skills and talents and he wastes no opportunity proving this to all those around him. he is rather attached to the culture his mother’s side of the family brings, the tv and the radio and the grounded, solid presence of unmoving photographs. He will not, however, discuss his blood status with anyone, it remaining a sensitive topic he continues to avoid, and will carefully not disclose his parentage to strangers upon their first meeting. or their second. or their third. he’d probably never mention it until you do in all honesty.

⁂ sorting :

Slytherin. This had proven itself to be difficult due to his halfblood status, made more so by his older brother’s placement in hufflepuff, but Thabit’s stubborn pride and relentless ambition would not steer him any other direction -- the Hat’s call did not linger, it’s decision made in mere seconds and leaving the eleven year old reeling upon the stool. he’d prepared so completely to be placed in ravenclaw. It had taken time for him to grow proud of his placement in Slytherin, but the first few weeks have been difficult, to say the least.

⁂ allegiance :

Neutral. Thabit’s views align more alongside the order’s, but his self-preservation and the dangers being an explicit part of this war posed on not only himself, but his family as well, is enough to keep him standing rigidly to the side of the conflict -- despite his line of work throwing him too close to the fire, he still holds fast to the state of neutrality and keeps his co workers at a distance. he is unsure how many of them are a part of this war, and less sure which part they would be on.

⁂ birthdate & zodiac :

December 31st, 1953. Thabit is the least spiritually inclined individual one would find and he will deny this to his dying breath, but the zodiac sign his birth falls under is as accurate as a sign could ever be --- capricorn, sign of the goat. Ambitious, and disciplined, and reserved. Pessimistic, practical, obsessive. These are traits that are so deeply ingrained in him it would be impossible for him to have been born under any other sign.

⁂ occupation :

Detective at the department of Magical Law Enforcement, Aurors’ Office, Investigations Division.

Perhaps there’d been traces of fancy yet to be found in 17-year-old Thabit’s mind, and perhaps the secret wish to be admired and looked up to as more than merely a half-blood Slytherin with a sharp wit and sharp tongue, the secret desire to be liked and to be regarded as something of a heroic figure, is part of what’s led him to where he is now. He’d entered the auror training program at the age of 18, eyes sharp with focus and jaw clenched against rising nerves. He graduated in two years, becoming an official auror at the age of 20, but it wasn’t long into his work on the field before he was moved to the department of investigation, his superior finding his skills better put to use elsewhere.

To say he is hardworking would be a gross understatement -- workaholic, married to the job, obsessed with the success of his career. He puts all his effort and passion into his work and has built his life surrounding it, has gained himself a reputation for being relentless and focused in his pursuits, had thrived on the respect this had garnered him among his colleagues -- he remains an unpleasant individual, however, and while he is respected for his skills and accomplishments he is hardly liked. Not that it matters to him, anyway.

AESTHETIC

Long robes that swing at the ankles; long nights bent over scrolls and books and names; a clever cat padding down in the dark; ink stained fingers; crooked glasses; cups of coffee; a tightrope, a balancing act, a careful way your breath is held; there is no place for you to be something whole; tongue swollen with cruelty and words that only know how to cut; pride is pride is pride is pride -- won’t you ever say you’re sorry? Won’t you see the love there is within you, the love you don’t know how to give? Clever, clever, but there is more to life than you might think.

#noc.intro #ι aм мore тнan one тнιng; and noт all тнeѕe тнιngѕ are good | thabit.

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hiccps · 7 years

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hey guys, im syre n im 21 from australia rip which is why i am here so late bc my ass just woke up (lets ignore the fact its 3pm) anyways this is the first time i’ve rped in a while so im rly excited n u know i love rps that arent set in the u.s so im super hype for this. this is very long n a real Mess so pls hit me up for connections, this poor child needs a good bff bc their life has gone 2 shitz n also come b my friend my discord is syre#9813

[ JOSEPHINE SKRIVER ] — oh SHE/THEY ?? that’s just LUNA ROMERO, the TWENTY THREE year old GENDERFLUID that just graduated from nyu with a degree in CHEMICAL AND BIOMOLECULAR ENGINEERING. around campus, they were known as the QUIXOTIC, probably because they were really LOYAL, and also pretty IDEALISTIC but they’re actually a lot more than that. they’re coming to curacao in hopes to LIVE LIFE ONE LAST TIME. i wonder if they’ll accomplish it before they leave.

death tw, shooting tw, depression tw, suicide attempt tw

serafina alegría lucia romero de luca born in rosario argentina

she was raised by her uncle who was only 18 at the time she was born and her grandmother

her uncle called her luna as a nickname because he said she was born on a full moon n she always lit up like one whenever she saw him

her father, who was only barely 22 was always away working to provide for her and her brother and rarely had time off to see them since he was working at the mines

her mother ran off when she was quite young, she can barely remember her face but her uncle says that her mother ran off to study in the U.S since she had her when she was 19 and her brother when she was 16

when she was about 7 years old her grandma had moved to the U.S permanently so she was raised just by her uncle who eventually moved her and her older brother cesar to new york when she was 10 years old

they lived in jackson heights since there was a lot of argentines there

up until she was like 13 she could only speak spanish but her uncle made sure that she studied and did her homework and he made sure that she spoke english to her brother and all her friends and only spoke spanish to him and her grandma

as she got older, around the age of 10-15 he had to work a lot more and she relied on her older brother more often

she used to follow cesar around and played soccer on the streets and followed after his friends

she was a “tomboy” and often referred to herself as a boy as well

but she also loved cooking with her grandma and said she was a girl whenever she was cooking

her brother used to tease her but she always responded that she can be both a girl and a boy n he never really argued with her

soccer was something she genuinely loved and she was also always good at math since it was the same when she was at school in argentina

n she missed argentina a lot so playing soccer in the streets with her brother reminded her of playing soccer in the streets in rosario

*shooting tw, death tw: when she was about seventeen, she was being walked home by her brother from school, they had gotten caught in a crossfire of a drive by shooting

her brother had pushed her to the ground to protect her and had gotten shot in the process and eventually died of his wounds

she was really broken from his death n felt like she didnt know who she was since she lost a huge part of herself

she fell into a deep depression n never really properly grieved his death

she lots someone who protected her and her uncle was still away for work

she pushed her grandma away and secluded herself from everyone else n she even deferred her first year of university

she felt like her brother and uncle abandoned her and she wanted to rebel so her uncle would come back

she wanted him to visit her n stay n look after her

she started going out to parties and skipping church which shocked her deeply religious, catholic grandmother

she was getting high, neglecting football and sleeping around

there were days where she didnt come home at all n eventually her grandma told her uncle who ended up moving back in to deal with her

he understood what she was doing n he promised that he wasnt going anywhere as long as she got her life back on track

but they still found it hard to address the fact she was depressed n would go days just staying in bed sleeping

both her grandma and uncle didnt want to admit that she had depression

she struggled with it throughout her university years on top of the burden of studying as well as not dealing with her brothers death

SUICIDE TW** she did try to take her life when she was 22 coming up to the anniversary of her brothers death but her uncle found her n rushed her to the hospital

from that day he tried to educate himself on depression n was always looking at different ways for her to cope n even took her to a psychologist

he put all his attention on her mental and physical health n was always worried about keeping her alone

which is why he was slightly hesitant but still overall supportive abt her going to curacao. he did suggest that he come with her smh so that they’d go to argentina at the end of the trip to visit her dad

but yeah thats all i have for her

PERSONALITY + FUN FACTS

shes very open about things that dont have to do with her brothers death like family life, where her parents are, genderfluidity, sex life, love life, soccer, body you name it, her depression but not where it stems from

she plays the piano!! her fave piece is kiss the rain by yiruma

super idealistic n it was also ingrained by her uncle?? she used to always say she wanted to marry her uncle n he always reinforced it like no one is ever going to love her like he does n if inevitably, someone does pique her interest she has to promise that she wont settle for anything less than the best n shes gna be with someone who loves her almost as much as he loves her

she wants to pursue soccer professionally n play for argentina’s womens football team!!

up until her brothers death, only a few people called her luna n her grandma still refers to her as serafina but after his death she only went by luna

she comes from a deeply religious catholic background btu shes more spiritual n only goes to church to appease her grandma

idolises lionel messi, a true argentine treasure

her great grandparents from her dads side moved to argentina from spain n her grandparents from her mums side moved to argentina from italy

she is left handed n left footed

her position is right wing n considers herself 2 be a playmaker

huge nail biter

identifies as panromantic pansexual

she can speak 3 languages, english, spanish n portuguese

loves to dance, gets real rowdy

huge drinker, can knock down 5 shots just for pregaming

adopted a cute lil chow chow named brutus in honour of her brother

aesthetics: hiccups, nipple piercings, canola fields, drinking cold water on a hot day, tripping on a flat surface

yall know my dude is supporting argentina for the wc

huge fc barcelona fan (has nothign to do with messi)(it has everything to do with messi but lets not get into it)

loves the beach n water in general

also loves full moons

swears like a sailor

loves seafood, allergic to prawns though

her favourite romance movies are before sunset, eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, when harry met sally & pretty woman

that being said she feels like she n clementine kruczynski are the same person

wanted connections:

best friend: they were best friends as kids and maybe dabbled into feelings but decided ultimately they’d stay as best friends [ alvaro ]

best friend 2: basically ride or die, fuck shit up together, cry over shit together, fight people for each other [ evie ]

best friend 3:

roommate: [ isa ]

ride or die: [ cindy ]

frenemies

love n hate banter relationship: [ ingrid ]

ex gf/bf/partner:

ex bestie

neighbour??

dorm room roomie

#curacao:intro #death tw #shooting tw #depression tw #suicide tw #just to be super safe n i dont go into any detail v brief

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kookienomster3 · 7 years

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I Want The Headline (Pt. 50)

Written By: suga-of-daegu BTS Fanfiction Angst WARNING: MATURE CONTENT Mafia/Gang

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Captain Jeon crossed the street, maneuvering around people easily. It always seemed that even the most dense crowds, were parting for a man in uniform. He kept his head low, trying not to be even more noticeable than a uniformed officer who stood over a head taller than most of the people around him could be. But people still stopped and stared and followed them with their eyes to see where he was going. And once they saw that he was making a beeline to the roughed up man who stood just as tall as him with the same strong jaw and tired set to his eyes as he, their curiosity tapered a bit.

The captain had come to a stop directly in front of his little brother, but all the other man had done was slowly look up to meet his gaze. Then his tired expression was lowering to the captain’s left and right. “Where is she?” He asked softly, gaze cutting to the opposite side of the street in case you had somehow missed the light. His older brother rocked on his heels, slowly answering,

“She’s gone.”

Jungkook looked confused,“You let her go.” He corrected. Of course he had let her go. “Why would you leave her alone?”

“Why do you care?” He countered gently. “You questioned why you were still with her and now she’s gone. You didn’t go after her, I think that makes how you felt about her pretty clear.” Jungkook looked away, that was true. He had decided not to pursue and now you were truly gone; but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to miss you.

It was big city, if you really wanted to disappear, you could. Captain Jeon cleared his throat,“She told me she was forced into your group. You and your ‘family’ held an innocent woman against her will. That’s not right, Jungkook. How..how could you stand for something like that? How could you have said you loved her, but kept her against her will?”

“We all start out some way.” He mumbled,“She was traded for a ring. I was abandoned by our father. Tae was dropped off by his step mom. Jimin was tricked by a woman. Namjoon was convinced by a man he thought was like a brother to him. I think Jin was fed some lie that it was family thing. Yoongi was..I don’t know how he got in, but we all got in some way and once you’re in you can’t leave. I can’t leave and neither can she.” Tae may have said you weren’t family, but Jungkook had been with you. He had protected you and treated you like everyone else in the organization. He had fought with you and held you and cried with you.

You were his family.

You were part of the family.

The officer frowned deeply. “So what organization is she in? It can’t be yours if you just let her go and Min threatened her. She’s not with anyone, she’s just stuck.” He checked the streets, eyes skipping over the passing people. It was habit ingrained into him from the police academy, but he noticed that Jungkook did the same thing, eyes subtly scanning over anyone who walked too close to them.

Jungkook furrowed his brows,“I..I don’t know. Everyone else treated her like..they just treated her different, but I’ve always viewed her as one of us. She’s part of the family to me, I don’t understand why everyone else thinks differently.” Captain Jeon sighed softly.

“Is she..was she the first girl you’ve ever been with..?” Maybe that was why Jungkook saw no fault in how you had come to him. He was too attached to the fact that you were the first woman he had such an intimate relationship with.

Jungkook had frowned, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Where was this line of questioning leading to? “No.” He deadpanned,“I’ve been with girls before her and after her. She’s not..she’s not different that way. Her and I never-”

“What’s special about her to you then?”

The younger of the two took a step back, face pinching,“Don’t you want me to leave her alone?” He growled,“Why are you trying to make me remember why I love her? That’s just going to make me go after her again.”

“You look so lost.” Captain Jeon whispered,“And since I first met you, after knowing that you were my family, she’s the only thing that’s brought a smile to your face.” He licked his lips,“Seeing the way you cradled her close when she was discharged..and the way you didn’t hold back with our dad when trying to get your visitation restored…” He shrugged, “And how troubled you looked when you couldn’t remember why you loved her.” Captain Jeon looked away, shaking his head,“You must’ve loved her so fiercely, so passionately and now it’s just gone..and you’re both so somber.”

Jungkook’s face pinched as if he was in pain, “She has Yoongi.”

Yoongi stared blankly at the cracking concrete wall. Blinking sedately, he felt an itch crawling up his throat, but ignored it, eyes tracing over the splintering edges of the crumbling wall. It had been over three days and although he had not tried to find out anything about your whereabouts, he was burning on the inside that you had not come back to see him.

Like he had told you to.

However, Captain Jeon had visited six times. Each time waving a new accusation in his face. Abduction, murder, assault, possession of illegal weapons, the works. All the bland accusations he was used to. Yoongi had only rubbed at his eyes tiredly, swiping the folders off the metal table and leaning closer to the officer.

“How’s your little brother? Still hiding Y/N under his belt?” He had murmured. The resemblance was immediate once Yoongi had stopped glaring at him. The officer was a burly, lighthearted replica of the broody little shit who thought he owned you. Yoongi could see that. Officer Jeon had bristled, eyes narrowing at the mention of Jungkook. He never would have thought Yoongi would ask about him, but the moment your name was hissed between clenched teeth, Captain Jeon understood.

Yoongi wanted to know about you.

“She’s free.”

At that, the mafia boss’s lips had snapped shut. He had leaned as far back as possible in his seat, handcuffed hands settled neatly and patiently in his lap. But the way he picked at his thumbnail told otherwise. That answer was something that he had never considered and it had put him on edge.

“Free?” Yoongi had echoed. The word tasted bitter on his tongue. You were as much a mafia member as himself or your brother. Members didn’t just become 'free’. There was a price to pay or there was something you had to take. The only apparent thing that stood between you and 'freedom’ was Jungkook. “Did she kill him?” He asked curiously. Captain Jeon had glared back at him, angered at the absurd answer.

“Do you really think I’d say that she was free if I knew she had killed Jungkook?”

Yoongi had shrugged, smirking at the officer, “You seem to have a soft spot for her.” He teased darkly, “After all, I’m pretty sure she’s the only suspect for the murder of one Park Jimin and yet..” He paused, “She’s free.”

“Technicali-”

“Mhm,” He cut in, nodding furiously. He had raised up his handcuffed wrists, nodding towards the opening door, “Technicality issues, happens all the time.” Yoongi chuckled, “Just like now.” Captain Jeon had swiveled in his chair, confusion twisting his features as two guards stepped in, keys jangling from one’s hands. They flanked Yoongi, one unlocking the cuffs as the other politely helped him stand. Yoongi was in for a life sentence, the Captain was personally making sure of this. What was happening? He waited for the guards to answer him, but they remained silent and stone faced.

Yoongi stood between them, the corners of his lips tilting up as he rubbed his wrists. The captain sure wasn’t expecting that, was he? But if the police captain could pull the technicality card and so could Jungkook, then there was no doubt Yoongi could find some leverage too. It was a good thing that the judge and lawyers overseeing his case had exquisite taste in the red light district of the city; which so happened to be up for grabs between organizations. One little call and mountains of photographic evidence were flooding Yoongi’s mailbox down in the mailroom.

“Wait, what’s going on?” The captain finally voiced. The two guards looked away from him, neither wanting to mention the little loophole that usually got an officer the outcome he wanted.

“Technicality, of course.” Yoongi replied. Nodding his head towards the doorway, Yoongi motioned of the man standing there, “Meet Jin…or Seokjin, I believe you know him as.”

Foot still wrapped tightly and settled into a boot, Jin stood silently, neatly pressed suit tapered snuggly. He looked almost exactly the same as when the captain had last seen him. The only thing missing was the shiny golden badge hooked onto his belt. Jin still had the soft look to his face that had confused the captain if the man had ever seen the inside walls of the police academy; but once the man had rattle off drill maneuvers, squad numbers, instructor names and even yearly senior pranks there was no doubt that the man had been in the academy at some point. That, and the way he seemed to know the ins and out of protocols and patrol routes. Then he had murmured the word 'undercover’ and that filled in all the obscurities that Captain Jeon had noticed about him. “Seokjin?”

“Looks familiar right? Your undercover friend? Works for me.” Yoongi grinned, “He’s also Y/N’s older brother.” It was then that Jin had smiled softly, eyes downcast. And the captain was reminded of the way you had look when Jungkook had gently whispered something to you. You and Jin did, in fact, look very similar. The entire part about working for Yoongi was what stumped him. Perhaps this was all a part of his cover? But Captain Jeon never remembered anything about freeing convicts for the sake of their cover. Wasn’t it when the bad guy was in jail that the undercover bit ended?

Was there a man higher than Min Yoongi who needed to be taken down?

Captain Jeon blinked, unsure of what else to do. He stared at him, waiting for Jin to give some sort of notion that what Yoongi was saying was false, but all Jin had done was nod at him. Yoongi, newly released, clapped his hands, rubbing them together as he leveled his gaze with the captain.

“So, does 'free’ have an address?”

#bts #kpop #BTS suga #BTS jimin #BTS jin #BTS jungkook #bts v #BTS rap monster #bts jhope #bts fan fics #btsarmy #angst #smut #IWTH

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elysiumrp · 7 years

Photo

Congratulations SAWYER! You have been accepted as Triston Fitz. Please go through the checklist and send in your account within 24 hours. If you need more time, make sure you send a message to the main.

Can I just say that your application blew me away? I can’t wait to see your take on Triston played out for us on the dash. You clearly tapped into the emotional conflict that I tried to instill in his character whenever I wrote his bio, and I can’t help but be extremely excited that someone else has noticed the innerworkings and details of Triston and his personality. Your sample paragraph in particular gave me a full fleshing out of the version of Triston that you have identified, and I am in love with the various details that you’ve already added as you’ve branched off from his bio. He’s a conflicted vampire to say the least, and he’s a conflicted vampire in a very conflicted time at that, so Triston’s future is uncertain and up to you to create. I can’t wait to see it. Welcome to Elysium!!

OOC INFO

Name: Sawyer Age: 21 Timezone: PST Preferred Pronouns: He/Him Previous RP Experience: [RFP] Activity Level: As with any writer my activity will be completely dependent on how involved I get into the group (hopefully as much as possible right?). You can expect daily if not semi-hourly activity from me. I will be on the dash and have never recieved an activity warning in my collective years as a writer. (I don’t apply to groups that I don’t intend to put 100% of my effort into.) Anything Else: P.S It’s been a while since I have attempted Tumblr based RP so it may take me a little bit longer than usual to set up an account if I am accepted. Only because I will have to refresh on xKit and all that jazz. (I code my own layouts for Roleplayer.me, Tumblr and Aniroleplay so I am definitely well versed in the coding formats for Tumblr.) Just figured I should let you all know that. Hopefully that doesn’t chase anyone off of this app.

IC INFO

Character Name: Triston Fitz Why did you choose this character:

For me to explain why I chose Triston out of the slew of other available open males I will have to tell you a bit about myself. As long as I can remember I have always been fascinated with despair. Yes I know that is a damned awful thing for someone to say, but let me explain; To me despair is the quintessential foundation for absolutely all human interaction. It quite literally defines who we are. Think about it; What has shaped you more as an individual? Your happy moments or the moments where you sink so low in your own despair that you either have to sacrifice a part of yourself to continue or show that you have what it takes to overcome adversity and tribulation. So for mark number one I was helplessly drawn in to Triston’s included details. The fact that to him, protecting those he cares about is more important than even his own life. It would leave me ample room to establish that he would never change this about himself, but that it eats him alive because he also knows he can’t ever go back to the people he cares most about; His family. Triston Fitz truly seemed like the character that could fit my unique quirks. His story spoke to me, as a brother myself I understand completely that ultimate level of protection that is a fundamental part of his personality. At the same time this man who wants to protect and help keep people safe is also aware of his own ravenous hunger. He attacked a man just walking down the street, I can only imagine how deeply that must be ingrained into his psyche. It would be the perfect form of self-betrayal; here you have a man so devoted to protection that he has become a bodyguard of the supernatural locale ruthlessly devouring a man out of sheer unkempt desire. So your question was; Why did I chose this character? That much is simple; the character spoke to me on a level that none others have so far. Which is why I am here, applying to hopefully breathe life to what I perceived as one of the most emotionally complex characters in your roster. I feel that I myself would be a great writer for the role as the “emotionally complex, yet equally stoic” man is sort of my personal favorite role. Several of the characters I have loved the most have been mentally complex characters. * A list of some of my previous characters/roles I have filled. If the admins would like direct links to profiles they can request them and I will happily provide.

—- Nathaniel Schyler: An abusive, controlling uncle/doctor. His fame was employed to mask his dark tendencies. He was very much a “puppet master” type role.

Kurty-Kurt: Obviously this is my nickname for my lovable werewolf with cancer. He was very emotionally unstable and very powerful as a new turned werewolf. This character shared the paternal protective nature that Triston displays to the point that he had been seriously burned in his wolf form while trying to protect his wounded mother figure from a pyro-obsessed witch. This left his wolf hideously disfigured until the next new moon and even carried over to his human form in the form of burn damage to his lungs.

Dominic Rilai: Dominic was one of the first roles I ever took on in the “supernatural” verses. A Celt turned vampire in a religious ceremony that promised to make him the ultimate warrior for his people. The ultimate protector, little did he know he wasn’t the only one of his kind. This role I feel is especially worth noting as Dominic was an vampire from around Triston’s era. (the mid to late 1500’s) His age granted him a healthy amount of power so I had to exercise the restraint of a character that had this power in the past. I know that this often can be one of the main concerns for admins when accepting applications for older more experienced character roles. How did that spiderman line go? “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Deucalion: Yes that’s right. I played none other than the Demon Wolf himself. The best part? People loved the unique way I established detail. Seeing as Deucalion is blind unless in his wolf form (in which he sees in a way similar to echo location it seems) I had to come up with different more textile ways to depict my details. Instead of focusing on what my character may have seen I focused on what he could feel. Even going as far as to clearly depict that I could proficiently write characters with adverse situations/conditions.

Eobard Thawne: The Reverse Flash. This role lasted for nearly 3 and a half years before I retired it as the RPG he was a part of fell apart due to a group of clique writers.

Abbadon: The Lord of The Abyss. A deity for a god-verse RP. Abbadon was the master of secrets and the abyss. He was constantly plotting and establishing connections that could give him advantageous opportunities.

Describe your plan for them:

I plan only to do my absolute best to embody what I felt your depiction of Triston Fitz was and to grow more with the community in hopes of forming connections that spark great writes and drive evolution of not just Triston, but any and everyone who would like to interact with us (in the event I am chosen to be his writer ofc). The most ideal way for things to work out would be that I get accepted, set up the profile and then jump head first into meeting and greeting the rest of the community. I’m a bit of a ‘go-getter’ so you could expect me to be one of the people constantly driving to connect to the other characters and writers. I’d love to eventually depict Triston so well that the admins themselves will be happy they chose me to be his writer. As a writer I am very driven by the story, I want to do anything I can to ensure that Triston does his part to help the story progress and bring the community more and more interesting and compelling interactions with this amazing character. He offers so much potential that I was actually quite surprised he was still listed as open. I want to tap into the despair that I feel lies within Triston’s heart and use it to flesh out even more of his background and story as he and I progress with the group and it’s plots. Truly I am in high hopes that I have finally found a new place to write and share my creative musings from a personal standpoint. Reading through EVERYTHING on your navi leads me to believe that the admins have experienced some of the unfortunate events that I have so they can perhaps offer a more unified and stable community for me to write in and partake of. The fact that their is an anti-clique rule is honestly amazing in my mind. Most groups don’t give a rats ass if their writers only write with literally 4 people in a group of 30+. So again, for the character I plan on putting my best foot forward and engaging with the other writers to help do my part to shape the group and the community we are establishing together as a whole. I’d like to depict that even though Triston’s area of employment may make people assume that he would be a big, daft jarhead bouncer type of man that you can’t judge a book by it’s amazon reviews. I want to open people’s eyes to the inner struggle of a man who lost it all and knows that despite how truly he desires it that he will never be able to get back the one thing that gave his life true meaning; His family. He is such a compelling and driving character, but I also feel he would do his best to depict his image as the opposite. I would love to highlight the contrasts in his personality. Almost as if there were two Tristons; The one that died the night of the attack and the one that lived to never tell the tale. These two beings are at constant war with themselves inside of him; He wants to protect, but needs to destroy (feed). He is a beautiful disaster, a brave warrior and one hell of a brother. At the end of the line that is what I want to do with him.

Describe your character’s feelings and reactions to the initial reveal of the supernatural world:

Initially Triston wasn’t certain what to feel. The veil that had kept most of their lives intact had finally been pulled back. He wasn’t sure whether or not it was the greatest thing ever to happen to his kind or if it was truly the beginning of the end. Man kind was never known for it’s accepting nature. Could the humans really accept his kind? Was there any hope that the polarity of the two could level out? Or had this reveal merely started the clock to the end? How long would it be until it started? The hate crimes and targeted oppression of his kind were all but inevitable. His protective nature would drive him to be off-put at first, the sheer uncertainty of the seemingly instantaneous reveal of the supernatural world would certainly be something that would be the talk of the ages. He only hoped that this wasn’t the calm before the storm. Or much worse the eye of the hurricane, surrounded by the storm as it rages around them. Triston would be uncertain, the endless stream of questions brought up by his long life would rush through his mind like the torrential current of the sea. He has been among man in secret for a majority of his long life. Five hundred years is plenty of time for him to have seen the true nature of man. To destroy what they don’t understand…

Describe your character’s feelings and reactions to the current state of the world, and how it impacts them as an individual:

Triston’s original uncertainty had come to fruition. Within the short duration and multiple collapses of the councils the humans had already established a ridiculous rule to prevent supernaturals from gathering. Segregation at it’s absolute most raw. The ways of man that he spoke of before? These were those ways. He knew all too well from his seemingly endless years on the world of man that the peace would not last. As if it had ever existed in the first place. There were problems of course with everything, but if there was anything Triston had learned from his long life it was how to adapt and survive. While the others were now forced into hiding he had already been in hiding; from himself, from the humans and even from his family. The rebellion gave him at least a minute glimmer of hope for the supernaturals en masse. At least they hadn’t given up and succumbed to this oppression. They still were uniting, even if the union was founded on the blood and bones of their friends and families. The unfortunate souls that were lost to the unavoidable conflict between the two worlds. Triston personally would face a much deeper confliction now. Of course he is pro supernatural, but does that have to inherently make him anti-human? Why did everything always have to be black and white. He was never good with absolutes, Hell the man couldn’t even bring the two parts of himself together; What hope did he have of trying to maintain the last shreds of decentsy and civility among the two castes? For now Triston would stick to what he knew; Protecting the Merlot and it’s denizens from the harsh reality that was encircling them all.

Para Sample:

The wind blew harshly against his cheeks as his footsteps carried him down the roads of the city he now called home. Triston had made a habit of walking a specific route every day that most would have wrongly assumed was to keep his toned physique up to par. In truth though Triston hoped by at least walking the streets, showing his face that he could open the eyes of the two sides of the broiling feud and show them that it was possible to live among eachother peacefully. In his mind it didn’t fully make sense, but he felt the need to do it regardless. He took the time on these walks to observe his city and the people of it; doing whatever he could in order to learn the current state of affairs. Triston wasn’t one to directly confront someone for information, his time as a bodyguard had show him that patience and a listening ear accomplish much more than muscle and brawn ever could. Just as he was getting lost in his observations he would collide with another male, the force of his spaced out walking apparently enough to knock the other man’s groceries all over the sidewalk. “What the hell was that?!? Watch where you’re going punk!” The other would holler out in spite towards Triston, the tone in his voice rang through and through with aggression. Triston had only moments to assess the situation. He stooped low and collected the other man’s groceries, returning them to the other man immediately upon standing to his feet.

His toned arm extended the bag as he spoke his apology, “Yeah, That was my bad. No dodging that, Sorry man. Have a nice day.” His arm remained there for several seconds as the other male stood bewildered by the sincerity in his voice. Triston would even let the edges of his lips curve upward, forming a light smile that accompanied his apology almost perfectly. The Merlot certainly taught him how to diffuse a potentially violent situation as quickly and with as little confrontation as possible. The higher ups didn’t like it when they received complaints about violence among their patrons. That was after all why they paid him to do the job. He was big, he was the personification of the golden boy. His smiles charmed vipers and his words calmed the raging seas, five hundred years in the making Triston had become a master of speechcraft. The man finally collected himself and accepted his groceries back before heading on his way, a content look on his face masked how terrible the man must have felt for reacting so abrasively before. Triston simply tucked his hands into his pockets and continued his walk. Another conflict avoided, another person shown compassion and understanding. That’s how Triston would take his stand in everything that was going on, he just wanted everyone to try and coexist. They had done it for so long without any issues except for the occassional upset, but you don’t judge the entirety of the supernatural worlds based on the actions of specific individuals. There were good people here too, some that didn’t always have the choice of becoming what they are now. Hell, even he didn’t remember any vampire appearing before him. Everything from that day was a haze lost in his adrenaline fueled need to protect his brother from certain injury. Could the humans really judge them so harshly? Hadn’t the humans been waging wars long before the supernaturals were even publicly acknowledged as a reality? The entirety of that situation just left him feeling more desolate than before. One thing was certain, Triston would do whatever it took to keep those he cared for safe. From anyone or anything that tried to harm them; Human or not.

At the same time Triston had been fighting with his conflicted heart again; one side wanted everyone to try and restore the balance that once existed despite how fragile it was, the other knows all too well that any connections that could be made can just as easily be broken or more likely stolen away from you. These damned cynical thoughts plagued his thoughts immensely, he reached to the bridge of his nose and pinched it tightly. He shook his head and tilted his head higher. “Just gotta keep going. You owe it to them. You’re a survivor and you know it. Keep them at hands distance, dont get attached and you’ll be fine.” How were they ever supposed to fix their situation if they couldn’t even agree on what the issues were? He shook his head again before rounding the corner, the inviting visage of The Merlot looming just ahead. He plastered back on his broken smile and spoke to himself again, “Just another day in Hell right?” It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate his job, he just didn’t see it being his final stop. Sure he had settled down for now and tried to establish at least something worth holding on to, but he wasn’t one for hopeless optimism in a world of cold reality. Eventually he knew something would likely drive him to continue his wandering. He wasn’t sure if he was searching for a new meaning, a new start or a new life, but one thing was absolutely clear; He could never, ever go back.

Any questions/concerns/things you’d like to change: (siblings to add, pronouns, sexuality you’d like to specify, personality, face claim, history, etc., etc.)

The only thing I would like to request is input on the app regardless of acceptance or not. As I am returning to tumblr RPG after a decent break the ability to improve or progress further is all I ask for in return for my time. So please let me know if there is anything you guys have to offer as input. Positive or negative; It will be used constructively to help improve my writing and/or future apps.

P.S I am definitely capable of writing much more than I did for the sample. I actually prefer novella writing as I feel it lets me flesh out more distinctive and concise details. I tried to stick a bit closer to the lighter end of para for this as to not come off as a try hard. If you would like a more lengthy sample to get a better idea of my writing ability please don’t hesitate to say so!

#accepted #lsrpg #lsrp #supernatural rp #vampire rp

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sexeducationsurveys-blog · 7 years

Text

Nevada, United States

Interviewee Demographics

Gender: Female

Age: Over 21 and less than 90; alternatively, old enough to know better

Marital Status: Married on paper; WINO (Wife In Name Only)

Race/Ethnicity: Caucasian

General Location: Las Vegas, Nevada

1. What area did you grow up in and did that have an impact on your sexual education?

I was born in Nebraska, but moved to Las Vegas, Nevada for second grade, and have lived here since.

I don’t believe my Midwestern birth had anything to do with my level of sexual education or my beliefs (my parents were not from the area, I left before any of the social mores could be ingrained), but I strongly believe that enduring decades of the Clark County School District’s abysmal excuse for sex ed (starting during the AIDS onslaught, no less!) profoundly shaped my views.

Some people might claim that growing up in Sin City affected my values, but, if anything, I am more conservative/prudish than some people from rural/not-so-sexually-advertised areas. Since I was always exposed to Crazy Girls ads and such from a young age, I grew to ignore them.

2. What were your family’s beliefs regarding sex?

Polar opposites: sex basically didn’t exist and was never talked about . . . except for catcalls and lewd remarks when some hot broad appeared on the TV, or vague whispered censure or loud guffawing when somebody in the news got pregnant.

Sex was NEVER mentioned, nor was puberty or any form of human development; in fact, I had absolutely no idea what menstruation was until my menarche happened at the age of 7.

I had to investigate the phenomenon on my own (and with no Internet), since the extent of my mother’s involvement was to pull me into her bedroom, close and lock the bedroom door dramatically, back me into the door, put her hands on my shoulders, then demand, “Has anybody been messing with you?!”

Cue clueless-yet-terrified-and-stammering-response.

My mother was in utter denial of the idea that I could be menstruating and continued with that approach for at least five years; after all, only teenagers went through that, and no one ever talked about it.

We were never told about male and female anatomy, either; I guess we were just supposed to figure that out from all of the (sometimes) veiled comments that (mostly) the males in the house made.

Here’s something that will date me: I clearly remember watching The Blue Lagoon on HBO with my father in the room (and he was making crude remarks about Brooke Shields) when the pond/swimming scene came on. I, being unable to see the screen much in the dark room, asked my father what was going on. He refused to answer, got offended and just shut up. I had to figure it out for myself.

You should conclude that parts of the rest of that movie didn’t go over too well, either, and that I didn’t exactly try to watch ANY movies with my father after that.

I learned from several different sources (often from exchanges during arguments or from filed paperwork) that my mother had had a hysterectomy after I was born, ostensibly so she wouldn’t have any more children. My father almost constantly referred to my mother as “being on the rag” when she was being disagreeable or would not do what he wanted, and he would tell her during almost every argument (when he wasn’t dumping a pot of hot spaghetti water on her head) that she should “shove your rag in your mouth” to gross her out and shut her up.

There was a very definite gender divide, and the level of misogyny was incalculable.

While not strictly related to sex, the following anecdote is related to gender and sexual expectations. I had a sister who was 11 years older than I was; she had just started college when I was 7. My parents did not want her to go to school, even though she had excellent grades and seemed reasonably intelligent, so they dissuaded her in every way they could think of (e.g., they didn’t pay for her to go, she had to have at least one job to pay her own way, they refused to fill out scholarship or other aid forms, they made her pay significant rent, she never had a car and had to pay to take a bus three hours each way to school, they berated her whenever possible, etc. ) The only reason they eventually “permitted” her to go was because a relative told them that my sister would have a much better chance of catching a husband if she had a year or two of college under her belt, and given her looks, she really needed the help.

Hyeah.

Of course, she was told to avoid all young men for any reason, though, because she’d get a reputation. As what, I was never told.

The boys, on the other hand, were encouraged to do anything or anyone they wanted (as long as it was a female), including the 30-ish bar singer who apparently gave my teenage brother (why the hell was he in a bar???) some form of VD.

Males (married, somewhat less so) could “play around” (or at least leer) at will, but girls (especially wives) could not; bad things (like pregnancy or death) happened to bad girls, and listening to raunchy songs or reading dirty books was bad.

For girls. Your father having “nudy” magazines is just fine, because, you know, we never talk about those, and, no, that wasn’t a violent screaming match you heard when your mother found your brother’s porn stash and he objected.

I clearly remember an incident with my mother yelling and then muttering at me while Tina Turner’s What’s Love Got to Do With It? was on the radio. She was incensed at me for listening to that trash, as it advocated women having sex without love/women having casual sexual relationships/a woman refusing a man’s honorable advances. I pointed out to her that the lyrics actually were about a woman in denial that she was deeply in love, trying to convince herself that it was just a physical thing, when it clearly meant a great deal more. Mom didn’t care.

In general, no information about sex, girls do not have sex before marriage but must somehow lure husbands without getting a reputation and then they dutifully have sex as their procreational duty while the husbands’ eyes and other parts wander, and mothers do not talk to their daughters or interfere with their sons.

3. What are your current family’s beliefs on sex?

Wow, there’s no single or suitable answer for that, particularly as the question is phrased. Do you mean, a) the family that consisted of my husband, me, and our children, at the present time, or, b) what values did my husband and I have or do we have now, or c) what did we, as parents, try to do to educate our children about, or d) did my birth family’s beliefs change? I think you actually ask parts of those questions later, so I’ll answer them there.

4. How would you describe your personal stance on sex or sex education?

What are you trying to ask?

I do not personally desire or need to have sex. I don’t see people as sexually attractive to me personally, although I can appreciate their allure objectively, for others. My greatest desire is for sleep, and that’s not sexual in nature; if you want something I seem to have an almost-sexual desire for, I’d say a yarn hoard or a mantled black leather Inverness coat (don’t ask for further details, trust me).

I believe that sex should not normally be a casual act; there should be a positive relationship first, and that no one should ever feel forced into it. There should be open communication and consent by all involved. All parties should be of the legal age of consent, all should use appropriate methods of birth control and disease prevention, no one should be permanently physically damaged, and no animals should be involved, unless they are stuffed versions or Furries, I guess – other than those requirements, I’m pretty laissez faire: what consenting adults or similar do in private quarters without harming anyone is fine by me.

5. Are you a parent or guardian? If so, how many children do you have?

Yes, I have four or five children, depending on if you count the husband.

To somewhat answer a possible question from above: my husband really had no involvement with the sexual education of our children, unless you count them laughing or screaming when they saw him naked. Everything was left to me, as, beyond his family’s and his personal discomfort with sexual topics, my husband saw it as not his business to educate four daughters about girl things.

Anecdote about husband’s sexual education: He did not know what the word “virgin” meant until he was 15. And his parents were Catholic. Think about that.

Second anecdote about husband’s sexual education: He “attended” me (that’s a VERY generous term) during the birth of my fourth daughter. An elder girl (also present) and I clearly remember him saying, “There’s something coming out . . . but it’s not a baby!” To this day, the sibling remarks that a father of four of his age should have at least known the different orifices by then.

6. What kind of area do you currently live in and how has it affected access to your or your children’s sexual education? Are there any specific limitations preventing you from getting the sex education you or your children need?

I live in Las Vegas, Nevada, which means that the Clark County School District’s personnel (all of whom have different opinions/excuses) are supposedly in charge of formal sex ed.

These people have done their damnedest to block all attempts at education, in all areas, but especially anything regarding sex. See some of the most notable anecdotes below.

7. Do you believe anything in media shaped your children’s perspectives about sex, gender roles, or body image?

I can’t point to anything specific that had an overwhelming affect in itself, but the widespread use of internet and social media sites in the past decade has really changed what is available, both information and disinformation.

Regarding the CCSD: there was a national news story about a local biddy who didn’t want students to learn anything about sex in their sex ed course, because they should either go to their parents or learn about it online. Great logical response, there.

8. Do you believe your children are in any way influenced or affected by politics concerning, sex, gender, or body image? If so, what concerns might you have?

I feel that it is very important for all people, but especially females, to be aware of the political and practical ramifications of what is going on, locally, nationally, and globally.

I’ve always tried to have my children see more than one viewpoint on major issues, usually by discussing current events with them and/or making them read online and print stories from sources with different agendas/biases. They could then form their own opinions, which don’t necessarily have to (publicly or privately) agree with mine.

The conflicting images of beauty, morality, gender roles, stereotypes, and many other issues are being brought up as the United States struggles through the Trump Period. I could write a tome on issues from the last year, but those wouldn’t all be associated with sex ed.

9. How old do you believe a person should be when they begin their sex education?

That depends on what you define as sex education (maybe you should have asked that or defined what you mean by “sexual education” or “comprehensive sexual education,” so you and the respondents could frame/classify the answers better).

Babies in utero, particularly boys, experience sex education without any intervention at all.

If you want to ask about what point after birth people should start sex education, consider that everyone gets some sex education from supposedly unrelated topics and from all of the sources around them, including media, spoken words, family attitudes (many times, what is NOT said is more powerful than wat IS said), religion, clothing, housing, everything around them.

I believe that relatives should begin the basics when or even before a child is capable of understanding the terms/concepts (and these may not involve written words at all). You don’t need to go into excessive detail, but even toddlers can see that diapers or PullUps (indeed, probably everything around them!) are gender-segregated (why?) or that there are parts of their bodies that are acceptably viewed in public or can be touched by other people, and others that are not (e.g., “Do NOT strip in the McDonald’s PlayPlace tube maze!!!”) The idea of self-respect and consent can be absorbed without mentioning sexual intercourse, religion, morality, or disease. Proper anatomical terms should be used from the beginning; even though family members may use nicknames in private, they should know the real terms, and not be made to think that they are intrinsically dirty.

I think that the biological and at least legal aspects of sex (since some people get up-in-arms about anyone other than parents teaching morality) need to be taught in schools/semi-neutral ground, particularly since many parents have no idea what they’re talking (or not!) about.

The actual SEX education can also be absorbed from everyday lessons, and this is where the family’s values come in, for better or worse.

Sex is a biological process that should be explained like any other; why would you factually-but-simply explain to a toddler with a skinned knee what blood is and why a cut bleeds, but not mention to a tween girl why (and from where else) she might bleed, or make that natural process seem mysterious and shameful? Should sex be something anyone should have whenever they want, or should the topic of sex and even the entire body and face of females be covered, lest they tempt men? Well, if you’re going to advocate the latter, then at least inform BOTH genders about the biological facts, THEN add on your values, and tell children WHY you believe that.

As for terminology: I wouldn’t try to explain to a toddler about estrogen and the menstrual cycle or why human chorionic gonadotrophin is important, but I would use age-appropriate language to explain what is happening to their elder sisters or mother and why most of the sixth-grade boys are shorter than girls and tend to carry their books in front of them.

Many of the modern physical/psychological problems of adolescence could be cleared up with a little open, honest communication, and that habit should have started at birth.

10. Have you, a family member, or a friend broached sexual education to a member of the younger generation? If so, what methods did you use and what was the person’s reaction?

As mentioned, my husband wanted nothing to do with the topic, which was probably for the best, as his giving any explanations probably would have scarred my daughters more.

I tried different approaches, with varying success, for my four daughters. I don’t think anything really worked, and they’re all going to end up learning (if at all) on their own.

Since I endured menarche at 7 and puberty in a house which shunned information, with no forewarning and no assistance, I was determined that would not happen to my children. All of them knew the basics of what was going to happen to them before they were 7.

I used books, videos, personal stories, and even trips through the grocery store. Daily life is an opportunity to learn, and learning should not occur in only one location.

The elder two were within two years of each other, so I basically went through the semi-formal information/lessons once or more with them. They were generally disinterested and probably don’t remember much, but it was apparently significantly more informative than anything the CCSD provided.

For the younger girls, who were within three years of each other but years separated from the elders, I was more concerned with the problems of the elder girls and was more lazy about the subject; it was easier to get books and internet sources for them, and they grew up hearing the lessons the elder ones endured, so their knowledge was more from osmosis and self-taught than lectured.

Depending on the topic and the mood, the girls could be deathly bored or start screaming for brain bleach. It depends on how you present the subject. Humor helps.

11. If you, or someone else, has provided a sex education to your children, how do you believe it has affected them?

See brain bleach note above.

I think the factual presentation of information, integrated throughout daily life and through ad hoc and specific lessons, has made my daughters generally blasé about sex, which could be good or bad. They still have adolescent worries (which is bad, considering two of them are now old enough to see Thunder from Down Under), but the mystery (the bad/addictive kind) is not so alluring.

Then again, I had my eldest read some “romance” novels when she was 14, to counteract a popular teen book series of the time, so she now has some very weird ideas about male vampires. And other things. I think I’m more worried than she is.

12. Do you believe that comprehensive sex education should be taught in schools? If so, who or what kind of person do you believe would be most qualified?

“Comprehensive” means very different things to different people.

The biological and legal aspects, consent, physical and emotional protection, yes, those are the absolute minimum that should be taught, as any other biological or civics subjects needed to be a functioning adult should be.

Different viewpoints, different attitudes, LGBT+ issues, absolutely.

The problem is, HOW comprehensive do you mean, and when?

What I’ve just mentioned is far beyond what the vocal people in this area would accept, particularly for elementary school children.

A school nurse, a health teacher, or someone with factual knowledge (not the long-term sub who’s supposedly teaching English but says “aks” all the time) would best be qualified, but the CCSD requires “qualification” now to teach middle school sex ed, and the local teacher has no clue what he’s doing and keeps being absent for the lectures on sex, so …

13. If your child attends a public, private, or charter school that provides a sexual education, what has your and their experience been like with the institution(s) involved?

I could genuinely write a book on this topic.

In general, the CCSD does not want students to learn, they want them to proceed through 13 years of cattle-car daycare, and they sure as Hell don’t want them to learn anything about sex. Even mentioning the topic obliquely results in pregnant (ha!) pauses, political stammering, stonewalling, and denial.

Some of the more notable anecdotes:

My CCSD sex ed experiences began in the middle school PE orientation, when the gym teacher stage-whispered in front of the whole gym (with the boys in the next bleacher section) about what to do when we were “being M” (dramatic pause, eyes skittering about) and how to get out of the required showers in that case. Of course, she couldn’t explain what she meant, because the boys might hear. ???

Tenth grade health required ONE DAY (one class period, less than one hour) to be on sex ed. It was “taught” by an assistant football coach/driver ed coach with no degree or even formal training on the subject; he also didn’t speak English well. He was clearly uncomfortable and couldn’t even pronounce medical terms; he resorted to (incorrectly) using slang, and ended up telling us to read the photocopied information for ourselves. I missed one question on the test, even though I had to wade through factual errors and slang on the test to guess what the answers were supposed to be, because I didn’t know the street number of the address of the Health District VD Testing Office on Shadow Lane. Yup, that’s what was emphasized. And we STILL weren’t told what sex was; we were in tenth grade, didn’t we know already??

In my senior year, all of the seniors (because, of course, younger students weren’t having sex!) were required to endure a day-long seminar on HIV/AIDS/VD. However, anyone who was 18 or over, or anyone whose parent objected, could get the day off. As I was the first person in the State of Nevada to be emancipated from my parents, I signed myself out of the class, and purposely walked by the window-walled classroom and waved at the miserable occupants.

First daughter: Near the end of 5th Grade, for weeks, she was morose, depressed, closed down. I finally pulled her aside and asked what the problem was. At length, she told me about how she heard (only parts of the lecture, as it was almost whispered by the school nurse, and no one could hear anything) that she would suddenly start bleeding when she got to 6th Grade, and she would have to wear a badge on her pants to tell everyone. No one explained why she would be bleeding, or why she’d have to tell everyone, or what she would have to do; she was terrified and confused. When I explained that she had probably heard “pad” instead of “badge”, and I reminded her about the menstrual cycle, she looked up, shocked, and asked, “Why couldn’t they just have used the words you’ve been telling me for years? Why make such a big deal out of it, keep it a secret?”

She was supposed to have comprehensive sex ed in 8th Grade Health, mandated to be taught by a state-certified teacher. The teacher was notably absent four times that year – all on the scheduled days the sex ed curriculum was supposed to have been taught (and it was only one day long!) He always left the substitute teacher with dittoes on other topics, with replicative fade and factual and spelling errors; the sex talk was never given.

I was the only parent in a high school of 2500 students to ask to see the sex ed materials before the material was given to my child. I was impressed that the nurse had a breast self-exam fake chest, but dismayed that it was kept away from boys and not used in the class (hey, if the girls are squeamish about examining themselves, the boys aren’t; teach them! And, yes, men do get breast cancer). The textbook never mentioned sex or how sperm met egg, yet the photocopied packets for class had pictures of opened-to-camera diseased crotches that so grossed out students that I guess the abstinence-only approach was somewhat successful – for a few minutes. They sickened and scarred my daughter.

On the first day of one health class, my daughter was told that, since the students were in high school, they all knew what sex was, so the teacher wouldn’t have to go over that.

Funny thing was, the girls started whispering and chatting when the topic of the age of consent came up – they had no idea there was a minimum legal age, what consent was, or even that they could say no.

Second daughter: Online health course also never mentioned sex, but at least didn’t have diseased pictures; however, it focused on shaming those who had sex, and the main topic/project was about the costs of having a baby/setting up a nursery (without mentioning how the baby was made), probably as a deterrent. There was also no discussion of breastfeeding, and the project made some extremely outdated and dangerous assumptions.

Third daughter: In her 5th Grade, I was the only parent who asked to see the corporation-sponsored videos being shown; I was questioned about why I would possibly want to see the boys’ or combined-gender versions of the films, as my daughter would never see them.

The volunteers who photocopied the gender-limited, color-coded (pink = girl, blue = boy) information packets switched the information, so girls took home advice that they should wash their scrotum every day. I still want to know what the boys got. Principal unhappy.

She wanted to take the high school health class early, but, after over six months of delay and excuses and numerous rounds of phone tag, I was given the (not written anywhere) rule that students can’t take the class early, and that, despite her previous high school credits and interactions with high school and college students, the class was not suitable for someone her age. After all, she might get into a chat with an older teenager, and discuss some adult themes. How dare she!

Fourth daughter: 5th Grade highlight was a video/animation about how HIV was rolling onto a beach from the ocean, and the lifeguards were T-cells. The video never mentioned how a person gets HIV, how to prevent it, nothing that stuck, at least – everyone was just staring at the cartoons. There was also a video with something about some part of the body called an ovary, that it was the size of some nut, and it did something, but the girls weren’t taught what or why. Sex and reproduction were never mentioned. However, they did get the corporate pack of pads/supplies from Always, and that had a pamphlet.

She was thrilled to learn that 6th Grade biology had a module on sexual vs. asexual reproduction, but was again disappointed that the unit never mentioned what sex was or what the sex cells were or what that had to do with reproduction.

The stonewalling continued with this child, with the principal of Nevada Learning Academy/Virtual High School claiming that it was inappropriate for my daughter to take Health early, for various excuses that lasted for months, and finally culminated in the excuse that the class talked about human trafficking, which was inappropriate for a 10-year-old girl. Funny, the local media ran a story THAT week about an 11-year-old girl being forced to prostitute herself on the streets – why would you NOT want a 10-year-old to know about human trafficking, and how to avoid it??? I also talked about the lessons I’d given her on female genital mutilation, circumcision, birth control, and abortion, but that was irrelevant, as was the fact that I had signed the permission form – the principal was personally uncomfortable with those topics and the political ramifications of letting my daughter into the class, so my daughter couldn’t hear about them.

Meanwhile, she has two college-aged sisters taking sex-related courses, a 14-year old sister exploring her sexuality/orientation, and a mother who lets her read anything she can comprehend, which, since her reading level is Level 13/College and Career, is pretty much anything she wants. We’re considering having her bring in the PBH 429 textbook (Public Health 429, a senior-level course on Education for Human Sexuality) to her reading class, just for fun.

14. If there was anything you would like to add or remove to your children’s sex education, what would it, or they, be?

I would have wanted to add a great deal more information, but life got in the way.

I will never feel that I did an adequate job, but I hope that my daughters continue to learn and be open to learning, rather than ignoring the world and living in their own little bubbles, however permeable they are.

15. BONUS QUESTION: Is there anything else you would like to add or address about sex education or on this interview?

You really need to learn how to better construct a survey or a list of interview questions. It would be helpful to have at least demographic questions and topic/project information at the beginning, along with a very neutral explanation of what the project is about and what the information will be used for (keep in mind that how you phrase that could heavily skew respondents’ answers). The type and composition of your questions results in confusion, repetition, omission, and frustration. I was reminded of several things I would have liked to mention that were extremely on-topic (to what I THOUGHT, before I got the questions, the topic was supposed to be), but I was never asked about them, and I forgot about them as I went on. The topics of the questions do not proceed logically. There was a major emphasis on being a parent, making most of the questions irrelevant to those without children. If this was even a semi-formal project, with more than a few respondents or a need to tabulate or classify results, these questions would be unusable, unless all of your respondents added in responses about the same issues without communicating with each other. You could have chosen to include ranged-answer or other types of questions to help make the answers more usable (e.g., “At what age did you have your first formal sex ed course/session in a school (if any)?) Overall, EVERY question needs to be reworked for this to be usable as anything other than very initial social research.

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