#My grandpa's in the hospital and it would probably keep him sane

[ayakashibackstreet]

ngl though, I think I actually do a bit more just... playing around with homebrew than I do gaming on my Nintendo systems lately? That and just, general upkeep, turning them on to play around in the menus and say nice things to them, that kind of thing.

[godofplumsandthunder]

This was written for @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ Freaky Friday Drabble Friday! I barely made the deadline, but am super happy with this idea. Like the title suggests, it’s a body swap theme. So naturally I did a body swap with Bucky Barnes and Lance Tucker. I hope y’all like this as much as I did while writing this. Every page break represents a shift from Bucky to Lance or vice versa. 

James Buchanan Barnes, a.k.a Winter Soldier, Bucky, and Lance Tucker were household names. Everyone knew the assassin, best friend of Steve Rogers, Captain America. Everyone also knew Lance Tucker. Cocky, egotistic, gold medalist who is always seen with countless women. His life seems like a never-ending party.

Bucky Barnes knows who Lance Tucker is. He covets his entire life. For Bucky, Lance represents everything he's not. Bold, socially outgoing, loved, worshiped. Sure, Bucky knows that he has you his trustable girlfriend, but, wouldn't it be better, more fun, to be with hundreds of girls, instead of just one? Wouldn't his life be so much better if he had all of this?

Lance Tucker, who on the outside his life would appear to be wonderful, hates his life. Sure, he has fame, and countless women, and is always seen at a party, but what happens when the high wears off? The easy shag goes home? He's left alone. With no one, he can trust or love. Because Lance learned from a young age that when you are famous, people only get close to using you. Lance hates his life, but in his mind, it's too late to change it.

Both men, secretly wanting each other's lives. But realizing that their wishes will never come true. Or can they? Cause, after all, the universe might have its own agenda.

=======

Bucky feels different. He wakes up without remembering a nightmare. This should have been his first clue that something was wrong. He also wakes up and his left arm isn't hurting. It has not not hurt for over 70 years. This is sign number two. He rolls over a finds some young blonde laying in your spot of the bed. This is when he loses his shit.

"Who the fuck are you?" Bucky starts to go into full Winter Soldier mode, grabbing the baseball next to the side of the bed. Definitely not his bed, he notes.

"Really, we literally just fucked like 2 hours ago, and you can't even remember my name? The news was right about you. You really are a grade-A dick. No one wonder no one wants to be with you. Don't even bother with breakfast." The young blonde, who Bucky still doesn't know how she is, gathers her items, put her clothes on, and slams the front door shut behind her. Bucky needs a long shower, and a nice cup of coffee, if he wants any hope of making sense of what's happening.

=====

Lance wakes up with a body wrapped against him. Not in the "I just fucked the god of gymnastics" way. Rather in a way that radiated love. He looks down at you, and he can tell that you look different than the blonde he invited back home that night. At least Lance thought it was a blonde. He slips out of your arms, determined to figure out what the hell was going on. As he slipped out of your arms, you let out a little grunt, rolled and spooned his pillow. Not wanting to let the scent of him to fade. And this is what confuses Lance the most. Not once, in all of his conquest has a woman, or for that matter, a man reacted how you did when he left the bed. Like they were glued to his presence. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Lance finds the bathroom and looks into the mirror. That's when he noticed he was missing an arm.

"What the fuck happened to my arm?" Lance yell woke you up. It would have woken up the whole complex if it weren't for the noise proof walls, made to withhold the screams of a certain super-soldier. You come rushing over to see the love of your life confused. And this worries you. Bucky hasn't had a really bad day for a little while now.

"Bucky, are you okay?" You thought that maybe your voice and your presence would calm him down. But it didn't, it made him worse.

"Who the hell is Bucky?" This scared you. It's been a REALLY long time since Bucky's had problems with his memory. So you did the only thing you could have down in that situation.

"F.R.I.D.AY., initiate the 'Bucky's lost his marbles' protocol." Terrible name, Stark chose it, but it will get the job done. Gas started to fill the room where Lance was in. His vision started to blackout, and his body went limp.

======

When Bucky went to go take a shower, he was met with one hell of a surprise. Most people aren't ready to look into a mirror and be met with someone else's face. Even Bucky, the former fist of Hydra, who saw pretty much has seen everything, was surprised. Until he realized who's face was looking back at him. It was the one and only Lance Tucker. The world-renowned gold medal gymnast, playboy, and partier. Sure, Bucky should have been worried, but he saw this as his chance to finally have the life he has been coveting for the longest time. Y/N and the other avengers will figure out what happened and fix it promptly. But in the meantime, Bucky, or should he say Lance now, was going to have a fun time.

Bucky gets dressed in some tight and gaudy tracksuit. He grabs the keys to some overly priced car and drives his way to the closest open bar. He's really gonna have fun with this, Bucky thinks to himself.

=====

Lance wakes up with a pounding headache and handcuffed to a hospital bed. He searches the room and sees you, sitting dutifully in the chair next to the bed.

"Oh, good, you're awake Bucky. I have someone that's here to talk to you." She steps outside and brings in a grandpa, of all people.

"Hey, pal, do ya remember me?" Lance's confused face was answer enough to the elderly man. "I guessed you probably wouldn't. I look a little older than the last time you saw me. But it's me. Stevie. Steve Rogers. And you're Bucky, James Buchanan Barnes-" The old man continued to talk, but Lance drowned him out. He wasn't in his body. He wasn't Lance. He was Bucky Barnes. Reformed assassin, and new avenger. "And this is your girlfriend, Y/N." The old man manages to get Lance's attention again with that simple sentence. Lance should probably have been freaking out. But he's been wishing for a new life for the last few months, being sick of what his life consisted of. And it seems that the universe had answered his prayers. He'd deal with the consequences later. But for right now, he'd gladly accept your love and Bucky's life.

====

Bucky probably overdid himself on the alcohol. It was the first time in 7 decades that the alcohol was actually affecting his body. He's been bar-hopping for the last 5 hours or so. Getting absolutely wasted on any substance he can get his hands on. Bucky's currently trying to convince another skinny, fake, blonde to come home with him.

"Come on baby. Don't you want to know what's it like to bed the famous Lance Tucker? You know gymnastics isn't the only event I got a gold in?" It was a terrible pickup line. For most sane people, it wouldn't have worked. But for the blonde, the bragging rights were reason enough to sleep with Bucky, well Lance. So that's how Bucky found himself behind the wheel of his car, extremely intoxicated driving his way back to his bedroom to finally taste that blonde.

Finally, Bucky thought, he was living.

====

With Lance finally realizing what was going on, he was able to convince Steve and you that "Bucky" had his memories back. How he was able to fool Steve was beyond him, but it got him out of the hospital. You called into work saying you were sick so you would be able to watch after "Bucky". He looked fine in the hospital but you wanted to make sure he was really okay. So that's why you planned a Harry Potter and cuddles marathon.

Lance was watching Harry Potter, with you cuddled into his side. His right arm around your shoulders. Sure, this technically wasn't his girlfriend, but he liked this. This felt more comfortable than some cheap hook up from the bar. It felt domesticated in a good way. Halfway through the first movie, you look up to your boyfriend, which talk about dreamboat, and say, "I love you Bucky. I hope you always know that."

Lance, knowing in part that he had to keep up appearances said, "I love you too, Y/N". But even as he said it, as foreign it might have seemed, it truly felt right saying it.

=====

The body-swap continued on for another two weeks. And Lance was loving every single moment of it. He felt love, real love, for once in his life. It was nice knowing that he had friends and a girlfriend who was with him to be with him. Not to worry whether the people who surrounded Lance were with him because they wanted to or if they wanted something. Lance felt like he died and gone to heaven. And he wishes that this will never end.

Bucky, on the other hand, was living in hell. And after the high of newness and excitement of the newness of this situation wore off, Bucky realized that he's the loneliest he's been in quite a long time. He's soon realized that as soon as the buzz wore out, and the dame he picked up from the bar left, he was alone. And this hurts Bucky. He doesn't get to wake up to your beautiful smile in the morning or hear your heartwarming laugh. Hell, he's even missing the stupid memes that Sam would always send to him.

One night, after having one too many drinks, Bucky finally snaps. "God, or whoever is out there, please give me back my life. I've learned my lesson. My life was good. Please," Bucky sobbed himself to sleep, wishing that he was back in his own body and longing for your warm embrace, once more.

=====

The universe has its own plan. And often, it is a way for us to learn something. The next morning, Bucky and Lance woke up in their own bodies again. Bucky woke up with a new dedication to his girlfriend, who very soon will hopefully become his fiance, his friends, his teammates, and even his own body. He recommitted himself to being present and realizing every single blessing in his life.

Lance, on the other hand, woke up with a dedication to change his life around. He would work hard for it because he learned that drinking his way through life was no way to live. He would work hard so that he could have a wife, and a family to come home to after a hard day at work. And, thankfully, Lance would have that one day.

The universe has its own plan. We might not know where we fit in it, but every single one of us is where we are for a reason. Some, like Bucky, need to be reminded of that every so often. Others, like Lance, need to find their own place. The place of true happiness will always be shown if we are willing to look and work hard for it.

[mook-pooltable]

Uncle Sam AU

Rosie: Okay, the first idea I had is a crossover idea that could result in something similar to my HatID story that partially inspired by an idea I saw on Ao3.

Harry, while still in school, goes to Gringotts and asks for a hereditary test to find out if he has any other living family besides the Dursleys (cause let's face it, he's *desperate* to get away from them). He finds out he had someone who's still around on his mother's side of the family, a cousin of his grandfather, Harold Evans.

The man's name is "Sammy Lawrence". The test shows if the other members are alive, cast out of the family, or other such statuses by showing their names in different colors, and *his* name is written in an unusual color. The color in question means “Alive but Incapacitated” (Or something along those lines)

Mango: OOOOO yes i like this

Rosie: (Maybe "Entrapped" would be better?)

Mango: (ye, that would probably work better)

Rosie: Harry, being desperate for *any chance* of a family member that doesn't hate his existence, decided he wanted to find his Great Uncle Sammy. The goblins say they can run an investigation for him, while he goes through the proper channels to get to the states while underage. (Which also includes finding a place to stay, getting a passport, etcetera.)

Mango: i'd love to read this fanfic.

Rosie: The things get a little, weird.

Mango: no doubt

Poe: question: is sammy mom or dad's side of the family, i’m thinking dad but...

Rosie: Sammy Lawrence had gone missing years ago, along with most of the employees at the Cartoon Studio where he worked. But there was never an investigation by MACUSA since the Grindlewald War was still going on and had finally reached American shores. Sammy was the cousin of Harry's grandfather on his mother's side of the family.

Poe: gotcha gotcha

Rosie: Harry, still wanting to know more, decides he's going to go overseas anyway and maybe find and look around the Studio himself. But the goblins are smart enough (and not willing to lose such a valued customer) to set up a "Back Up" time frame for him. Meaning when he goes, if he doesn't contact them after a certain period of time, they will send people to go looking for him.

Mango: smart

Rosie: This, in turn, keeps Harry from being absolutely terrified while in the studio. He knows help is coming, he just needs to keep calm and safe until they arrive.

Mango: poor naive boy

Rosie: Overall, it's good logic. He needs to keep himself safe, and he needs to not fall into a mindless panic.

Mango: true

Rosie: But then he meets Sammy. Sammy is a lot of things (including crazy), but he knows that his "Lord" was born from a children's cartoon character, and probably wouldn't be happy with him if he tried to sacrifice a child.

Mango: ohhh boy

Rosie: So he tries to catch Harry, and move him to a "safer" place.

Mango: awww

Rosie: But he doesn't know about Harry's fight reflexes. The ones the wizarding world trained into him.  Sammy gets a stunner to the face for his efforts.

Mango: oof then he reverts to true salt briefly "listen, kid, i'm trying to keep you safe!"

Rosie: "I'm sorry! You startled me!" Sammy; What are you even doing here? Harry; I-I'm looking for someone.

Mango: "tell me their name, i might know of them"

Rosie: "Sammy, Sammy Lawrence. He-He was my Mum's Uncle. I wanted to find him." Cue silent shock.

Mango: sammy freezes up at that

Lili: I LOVE THIS

Rosie: 'I had a niece?' I think Sammy is going to be an older cousin of Harry's grand-dad. Like, a much older cousin.

Mango: "well, you found me, kid, now what?"

Rosie: (well hello awkward silence, how nice of you to join us.)

Mango: (XD)

Rosie: I dunno what would happen then, but I think it would "end" with the Goblins sending a full rescue team of Curse Breakers after the first few arrive and sense the sheer *volume* of dark magic from the studio, and then Sammy is living a mostly sane ink man with his great-nephew while being treated by the local magical hospital. And all wizards that show up at their door get the full brunt of Sammy Salt.

Mango: i want sammy getting salty at hogwarts

Rosie: I envision lots of shorts that would basically be "The Life and Times of a Wizard and an Ink Man".

Mango: yesssss

Rosie: Harry is very interested in Curse Breaking and Medical Magic now. Sammy is pissed that Hogwarts doesn't offer proper Music and Drama programs. "What do you *mean* you never had a music class there?!"

Mango: he has half a mind to storm up to the school and DEMAND an arts program

Rosie: "Get me an instrument, no one in my family is *not* going to know how to play *something* musical." Hell, he'd probably teach the kids *himself* with how offended he'd be at the concept. "I don't care if it's a bloody *recorder* Harry, you are going to learn to play music."

Trash Ma: he did have that flute hagrid made him in first year

Rosie: Oh, that's perfect!

Trash Ma: The one that sounded like an owl That Harry used to get past fluffy

Rosie: Yes. "My, that's actually quite nice. Now you'll need to hold it like this..." Sammy turns out to be pretty good with kids. Or, at least, he's good with Harry. I like this new idea. "Good Dad" Sammy. It has a nice ring to it.

Mango: sammy? a dad? yes please

Rosie: Or at least "Good Uncle" Sammy. I want to see wizards trying to handle Angry Ink Man Sammy acting in defense of his nephew.

Mango: y e s also, the Dursleys getting tried for child abuse

Rosie: Harder to pull with Sammy still being and ink man. He can't exactly stand up in court. Unless it was a Magical Court. Now then, back to Uncle Sam.

Mango: UNCLE SAM everyone at hogwarts being a little confused about harry's inky american uncle

Rosie: How about after finding out was his great-nephew, he gets super protective of him in the Studio.

Mango: y e s

Rosie: "Oh no, 'My Lord' can go *fuck* himself, I'm not letting him lay a *single finger* on you."

Trash Ma: So is sammu related to lily or james

Mango: and i am 1000000% behind uncle sammy protecting harry in the studio

Rosie: Lily.

Mango: sammy's the cousin of lily's grandpa, right?

Rosie: Lily's dad, Harry's grandpa. He's the older cousin of Lily's dad.

Mango: ah makes sense

Trash Ma: Harry's grandpa's name was also Harry  i mean not canonically but i like that

Rosie: I wrote it as Harold. He was named "Harry" in honor of him.

Trash Ma: yaaaaass

Mango: i like this

Rosie: Sammy is now also dead set on getting Harry out of the Studio safely. Even when the Salt is mostly replaced by Crazy, he still wants Harry out of there Safely. He ditches the Bendy mask at some point too.

Mango: he's not letting harry see that

Rosie: As the Curse Breakers extract more people/toons from the studio, they end up being placed under the care of House Potter, since Harry is letting the Goblins fund the clean out with money from the Potter vaults. Since his search was what started it all. So Harry's ending up with a big, messed up, traumatized, and mentally wounded family living under his roof.

Mango: LOTTA TOONS

Rosie: And Sammy ending up the "Boss" of the house since he's the "oldest member" of Harry's family (and is now his guardian thanks to the Goblins) What if Uncle Sam was one of those border-line Hover Parents? He doesn't hover Harry's shoulder, but he *does* repeatedly stuck his head in the room and go "Everything alright in here?" Also, someone starts laughing really hard the first time Sammy gets called "Uncle Sam". Then they start confusing people by quoting the recruiting posters. "Uncle Sam wants YOU!" "Oh, shut up, would you?" Harry is so confused.

Poe: Pfft

Rosie: I want Sammy to start having one of his "Prophet"- Episodes while Dumbledore is trying to talk him into sending Harry back to Dursleys. "No, it's not going to happen. I will not allow it. He WiLl nOt be gOinG BaCk to TheM!" "Uncle Sammy, please calm down! Professor, I think you should leave for now." Dumbledore; "Now Harry, I'm sure we can talk this-" Harry; "No sir, Uncle Sammy has some issues he's still recovering from. I need to stay because I'm the only one that's safe when it kicks in. You should *really* leave Professor." Sammy; "LeAVe uS, Old GOaT. Or YoU'lL be An OfFerEd sHeEP." *Sammy starts singing the Sheep song from the game*

Lili: :D But also D: I love it But poor everyone

Rosie: *Harry pulls Sammy away and shoves Dumbles out the door* And yet the Goblins still had proof that Sammy (even with his Schizophrenia) was a better guardian for Harry than the Dursleys. The Prophet is obsessively protective of Harry. And still does a good job caring for him. Lots of food, hugs- he's actually kind of dotting, to be honest. He just talks crazy while doing it. Harry has gotten very good at cleaning spells. They have this weird balance for who's the Kid and who's the Adult. When Sammy's head is clear, he's the stable adult that makes sure Harry is happy and healthy and doing well with the school stuff he has.

Poe: Oh my god that's so cute and also sad I love it

Lili: PERFECT MIX OF FLUFF AND ANGST

Rosie: When the Prophet is out, Harry is the one keeping track of things and making sure Sammy doesn't hurt himself or others, but still letting him dot. But the ended up being very good at it. And they both end up helping each other heal. Harry with getting Sammy stable mentally and recovering from the damage of being trapped in the studio for so long, and Sammy getting to be more comfortable with himself and with actually having family that cared about him.

Poe: Aww,,

Lili: :')

Rosie: And the Salty Ink Man ends up becoming an honorary Goblin

Poe: I love recovery stories so much okay This is my j a m

Lili: Recovery stories are great

Poe: Like my favorite part about angst and trauma is the recovery it's so good

Rosie: He finds out about the people profiting from the disaster that befell the Potter family, and his nephew. He gets them to put up libel fines for that Boy-Who-Lived crap, and fines for anyone that had taken stuff from the Godric Hollow house after it had fallen. (You *know* there were souvenir hunters that broke in for stuff) Harry is shocked that there are laws about that kind of stuff and why no one told him about them before.

Mango: i love the entire uncle sammy arc

Rosie: I think this would have started before Harry's third year of school. It's the only one I can think of where Harry could have had the time for the test and to gather the stuff for going overseas. I'm gonna say the stuff that leads to Harry going to Diagon happened earlier, so he had more time decided to to go the states instead of waiting until the end of the next school year. Since he did that, he ends up staying in the states of the first half of his third year. So ho doesn't know about Sirius be connected to the Potters until Sammy tries to get a look at the wills of Harry's parents, finds out they were sealed, and that Harry's Godfather had never gotten a trial.

Mango: tRIAL FOR SIRIUS, WOO HOO  i just really like sirius, doggone it

Rosie: Abso-freaking-lutely!

Mango: how well would sammy and sirius get along?

Rosie: And Dumbledore getting himself into trouble. Yes, once they got over the initial bumps in the road.

Mango: now i want sammy in prophet mode to call sirius a sheepdog

Rosie: Sammy would be mad at him for putting his need for revenge over his responsibility to care for Harry in his best friend's place.

Mango: rip

Rosie: But he feels like the 12 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit are enough of a punishment. So now he just has to *make it up* to Harry.

Mango: wait, who thinks that, sammy?

Rosie: Sammy thinks that about Sirius.

Mango: ah, okay "i suffered for over tHiRty YeArS in that damned studio before Harry came looking for me"

Rosie: As for Dumbledore, he's in a lot of hot water for sealing the will of an old pure-blood family,  and claiming it was to keep Harry's location a secret. And unintentionally blocking the path of justice while he was at it.

Mango: ffs dumbles

Rosie: What was the rest of Sammy's sentence? Was there more after what you wrote?

Mango: i just don't like periods but i was thinking that he’d say something like, "so don’t even SPEAK to me about imprisonment"

Rosie: Oh, it just sounded like he was going to say more. (Well, I don't think Dumbledore was a witness for the will, so he wouldn't have known what was in it. But with his firm belief in second chances, he could have thought that Petunia would have been listed as a safe person for Harry to be left with. I don't like a purely evil Dumbledore, I like him as a misguided person better)

Mango: that makes sense he still gets in trouble tho sammy and sirius head that train

Rosie: "Don't talk to me about imprisonment with me, just work to *make up* for not being there."

Mango: and then sirius DOES

Rosie: Yes.

Mango: and the prankster dad and the salty drama dad become friends

Lili: YES

Rosie: YES

Lili: ALL OF THIS

Rosie: Sirius also gets a good look at angry Prophet Sammy at some point, probably when the Minister ends up sticking his foot in his mouth.

Mango: hoo boy that’s gotta be scary

Poe: Ooo

Rosie: He also sees how well Harry is handling at handling his schizophrenic Uncle's episodes.

Mango: they're all one big happy family :D

Rosie: Yes, flawed families do the best job of filling in each other's gaps.

Mango: i want henry there too but i like henry too much

Rosie: At some point, Harry is dragged back to England because that's where his school is. But Sammy comes with him since they just *can't* leave him unattended. And I mean Sammy. Henry could be there. He and Harry could arrive at the same time.

Mango: :D

Rosie: Henry let's Harry come with him instead of letting the kid wander off on his own.

Mango: yesssss

Rosie: They get separated in the music department which is when Sammy tries to catch Harry, only to find out he was a great uncle and had never known.

Mango: henry finds harry again

Rosie: With Uncle Sam! And Hen is shocked by the state Sammy is in.

Mango: Sammy kind of guards harry from hen, almost not recognizing him

Rosie: And Harry is caught between wanting to tell them help would be coming for them and trying to keep magic a secret. He has to explain that Henry is a friend and not someone he needs to be protected from.

Mango: plot twist: henry's a small time wandmaker and knows about magic

Rosie: (To be honest, I like focusing on the Sammy-Harry relationship better)

Mango: (that’s fine, it’s your au. i just have a weird fixation)

Rosie: (is fine. I can understand it) Second half of Third year is Harry and Sammy continuing to fill in personal holes, fix legal stuff, and get used to their very weird lives. Oh, and Harry is working to catch up with all his missed work in school. He was spending his time in the states filling in the gaps in his general magical knowledge. And he's missing a *lot* of "common" knowledge. He never knew how much he didn't know until people were trying to talk to him about it. (Also, mango,  if you want to talk about how Hen would fit in, I don't mind. But I'll be focusing on Sammy shaking things up in the magical world.)

Mango: (maybe later, i don’t really have any ideas atm)

Rosie: I think that Harry ends up with a house (or something) in/near Hogsmead, so that Sammy won't be in the Castle as often as he would be if they were actually staying in the castle. Cause, you know, he's a schizophrenic with homicidal/volatile/violent tendencies Or at least somewhere close enough that Harry could hop on the train to get to school. Since there's no way that train *only* goes to Hogwarts and King's Cross.

Mango: no way in hell

Rosie: Harry kind of likes the new schedule, since he now sits in a small breakfast with his small family, then goes to the station to ride to school, has his school day (with lunch there), rides home, and has dinner with his family. Rinse and repeat. He doesn't have to deal with the fame games and student issues 24/7 anymore. And he loves it.

Poe: Aww How is his relationship with his classmates?

Rosie: I think the place they're all staying in is an old Potter family house, that was in a town that had a Hogwarts Express station. But it didn't see a lot of traffic since so few magicals lived near there. It was getting used again since Harry had sent a request for them to stop there for him to get too and from School. This is also re-implanting the idea of using the express for more than just getting to and from school during the holidays.  More students are taking weekend trips on the train to find out where else it goes. People organize train trips to plot out the routes the train travels (they had never thought about it before) Other parents meet ink man Sammy, and while weirded out by his appearance, they approve of his ideas about the school and caring for a magical kid. And dealing with magic in general.

Mango: imagine sammy becoming more famous than lockhart sAMMY WRITING A PARENTING BOOK FOR MAGICALS

Rosie: Sammy, though salty, is actually pretty likable and has lots of good ideas that magical parents like and muggle parents agree with. Yes. Henry is the co-author.

Mango: yesss i think sammy would hate snape tbh

Rosie: Sammy; "They need proper music and arts programs, how do you expect children to learn about those things if you don't teach them?" MugParent; "Exactly! How can they learn about what interests them if you don't expose them to it?" Oh heck yeah. Sammy may be salty, but Snape is just plain *cruel* to his students.

Mango: sammy goes full prophet on his ass

Rosie: Snape would do better dealing with older students who *honestly interested* in the subject than kids who are only there because it was required.

Mango: oh definitely

Rosie: Harry has to jump on his Uncle to keep the Prophet from stabbing Snape with an ingredient knife.

Mango: o o f

Rosie: After Snape was taking pot shots at Harry and Neville.

Mango: Understandable

Rosie: It was a protective rage. From that point on everyone works to keep Sammy and Snape separated.  Later on, Sammy makes the statement about Snape not being fit for teaching younger students when Harry tells him more about the man. And he makes it to someone on the Board of Governors.

Mango: oh damn.

Rosie: They agree with him.

Mango: that’s impressive

Rosie: He didn't know the person he was part of the Board. He was just making conversation with someone during a parent weekend.

Mango: ah now i’m just imagining him rant to like 20 different people at different times about snape

Rosie: Of course! He's too salty to keep to himself.

Mango: he’s also ranting about how hogwarts needs an arts and music course

Rosie: Yes. Harry's friends are unsure of ink Uncle.

Mango: sammy is good at ranting

Rosie: Hermione is horrified that Harry would skip out on half a school year to find a relative he'd never met, but Sammy talking about improving the school is lifting her opinion. Ron is amazed by the adventure Harry went on without meaning to, but Sammy scares him a bit.

Poe: This is so beautiful

Mango: ikr

Rosie: I wonder how Mr. Weasley would react to Sammy? Mrs. Weasley would probably not be happy about Harry living with him. She wouldn't think he was a good guardian because of his mental health issues.

Mango: coughablistcough

Rosie: I was working from the idea that she didn't think Sammy made a good guardian because Harry kept having to care for *him* instead of the other way around. Parents were supposed to be caring for their kids, not the other way around.  And, you know, she's stifling and kind-of controlling for anyone she thinks of as one of "Her" kids. (I think the reason her oldest sons all picked up jobs that took them away from home was so they could escape her coddling.) But Harry is more capable than she's giving him credit for, and even when being crazy it's clear he cares about Harry.  And Sammy doesn't treat Harry like he isn't able to tie his own shoes without help. Also, should there be actual toons in this AU? Or should they all be people that were used/altered by Joey?

Mango: i want to say actual toons

Rosie: It's a bit of a coin toss for me. Hence why I'm asking. Actual toons would be interesting and leaves room for recreating an alternate/new studio, but then I'd have to take time to explain how they could exist. With the people as toons, I can use stuff about Transfiguration how it was possible.

Mango: i vote option 2 then

Rosie: But the possibilities for both are fun too. *I need more than one person voting on this!*

Poe: I go with transfigured people because it functions better in the story and considering the magical world's problems with recognizing anything but wizards and witches as capable beings with rights unless you want to deal with that

Rosie: Okay, thank you. That is good reasoning. They will be transfigured people, and all receiving medical help thanks to Harry and Henry. Now I need to figure who's who in this. "Monster" Characters are: 'Bendy', The Prophet, Boris, Alice, Charley, Barley, Edgar, and the Projectionist.  Which Alice theory should I use? Alice = Susie, Alice = Allison, or Alice = Susie Mixed with Allison? And which characters should be the Butchers? (Boris is gonna be Wally, I think. Though it might be fun to use Shawn!Boris...) Bah, I’ll focus more on that later.  Harry asks to shuffle around his electives. Because now he's more interested in Curse Breaking and Healing magic than just getting easy grades.  Divination is dropped for Arithmancy, Care is kept (because Hagrid is the teacher and he wants to support him) and he adds Ancient Runes as a subject. Henry shares that the best way to show how well you understand something is to try and explain it to someone else. So when Harry gets home he explains what he's learned to Sammy (if he's okay), or Boris. (Harry also got tutors from the Goblins while he was in the states, so he's not that far behind in Testing levels.) (The Goblins don't mention that it's the *international* testing levels.) (Harry is confused when he finds he's *ahead* of his classmates when he gets back to Hogwarts) (Sammy is even more offended by the school standards then)

Poe: Aww Cute thiings

Rosie: Should the people from the studio be able to see the Thestrals, or no? Also, since Joey is 'Bendy', should he be salvageable? Or is he gonna be 6ft under?  You know, the more I think about it, the worse I realize the Hogwarts curriculum was. There were no math classes, no language classes, no writing classes, no art classes. Most parents would be frothing at the mouth over how unprepared those kids would be once they got out into the world. *I see so much Sammy Rage in the future of this AU.*

Mango: ***It shall be glorious**

Rosie: ***And we haven't even gotten to the chaos of fourth year yet.** ***Sammy is gonna hecking KILL the Minister if he gets his hands on him.**

Mango: HOO BOY

Rosie: Well, can you blame him?  Fudge has shot himself in the foot more times than I dare to count.

Teir: If I can voice my opinion, I think Joey should be salvaged :P. I don't really have a justification, just that he's an interesting character to have around

Poe: I think having him discover functional magic could be interesting,

Rosie: That could work.

Trash Ma: Mom says actual toons

Rosie: So that's 2 for People changed into Toons, and 1 for Actual Toons.

[lostscatteredwings]

when I make a draw my life...

this is my story. It’s long, eventful and unfortunate.

( I will be writting more when I can, everytime you see “...” means I am still writting)

First, I would love to start this on the day I was born but for you to understand the whole context and the circumstances I was born into, I have to start a bit before. 

Before the start

My father grew up working on the fields and on construction, until he was 18 years old and he joined the army and with it , the navy. He moved because of his work from the northern country side to a city in the south not far from the capital, where there was military bases etc...

He rented a room in this city, and that was when he met my mother, they got married.

And my mother got pregnant with twins.

And the unfortune starts here.

Death and illness

One of the twins died still inside the belly, so he was born “dead“ and the other twin, who didnt die, was born very very ill. 

This was my older brother, he had kidney problems, he did hemodialisis for something like 19 years. He also couldn't listen, he was deaf, but since he never listened to anything since baby, he also could not speak.

We used sign language. We had books for it. We all learned how to communicate with him. My father thought, never accepted him as his son, he considered his son a failure and used beat him up, in the streets, in front of everyone. Imagine a muscled man (remenber he was in the navy) beating up a deaf little kind in front of everyone. My grandparents took my brother away from my parents because of this. And my brother never ever went to his father’s house again.

Ironically, my brother died a few years after his kidney transplant.So he died before my grandparents died. He lived on their care his whole life. My father never cared to see him meanwhile. And he attended the funeral just to keep appearances I am sure. After all you need to attend the funeral of your own son.

My brother died when I was 13 years old. at 13 years old. I had 2 dead brothers.

Meanwhile,

My parents had a kid again and my other brother was born. Apparently with also some kidney problem but much less tragic. He doesnt need hemodialisis. He just cant play dangerous agreesive sports that may envolve a punch or kick in the kidney area. But he should be fine for life if that never happens. He is still alive to this day and he is ok.My father acceped this son, but with obvious disappointment that he could not become athletic.

I was born eventually too. My father was a sailing so he wasn’t there most of the time, we all lived wit my grandparents then. My mother , brother, and them ., and my grandpa several little birdies and a cute white cat.

Meanwhile, my granparents died. I was 15 years old. We had to giveaway the cat to one of those organizations. And the birds as well. And we had to live with my father now. My brother and my mother. And now he was indeed home way more because you only sail in first years of your career.

Now with my grandparents and my brother gone. A lot was broken.

Hell Begins

My mother took more pills that I could count. She was depressed and crazy. She tooks pills for depression, anxiety, to sleep, to stay awake, for memory. All of the pills possible. She also had diabetes. And she was always acting crazy. But well, a lot indeed happened. My father was always angry and he did not want to give any money for my mother to buy food. It was a constant fight. when my grandparents were alive we had food covered. When they died, the only working person in the family was my father, and he could decide if we were going to eat that day or not. Most of the days were ok, but some days, if my father was angry, he would not my mother money for food. So we also wouldn’t even have a coin to go to school with. We asked around for money... neighboors. When we were kids it’s always easier. Adults tend to help children asking for food or money. But when you start growing up people just look at you with suspicion if you ask for money. They think it’s for drugs and stuff alike.

Life was not so bad when my grandparents were alive.

There was illness and death. With my brother but still, we were getting by. And I remenber being somewhat happy you know? I remenber happy moments with them. Our cat. Christmas, birthdays. My grandparents made all those moments truly happy moments. I remenber cooking cakes with my grandparents. Going to the beach. Watching tv with them. They would let me watch kid stuff on tv, you know, when I was a kid.

It all changed when they died. It felt like...my only family had died.

My father was like a stranger, and so was my mother. And my brother , was older, but seemed always afraid of my father and well, righfully so, I would say, angry at my mom, because she acted so crazy all the time.

My father didnt celebrate birthdays, or cooked, or celebrated Christmas. He didnt let me watch any tv, There was only 1 tv in the house. And it was his. 100% . I had nothing to do inside the house.

I hated being inside.

There was eventually only one computer too. For 3 persons. My brother , my father and me. I , the youngest, could only use the computer, or the tv. If no one else wanted to use those.

Imagine most of the times, like weekends for example and week days at night, we were all home. Imagine, one on tv , on on pc, and one with nothing. Most of the time , the one with  nothing was me. This was my life growing up. After my grandparents died and before college. This was it.

I had nothing to do. And my family enviroment was horrible.

Felt like a prison. The air was like hard to breathe. There is no way you can understand this unless you’ve been through something like this. My father was angry and violent. Would easy hit anyone in the house, for whatever reason. Everyone was afraid of him. He would threat us. Threat us that he could just leave us to starve when he was angry. He knew we had no one else. My mother was crazy. Insane. She was either screaming or crying, or almost burning the house down. I am not exagerating. Believe it or not. Something I never forgot my father said was:

“I could live in a hotel if it wasn’t for you.“

Imagine being the kind of man, who goes, makes a family, has kids.

And then whishes that family he created would just not exist anymore.

The kids that didn’t ask to exist and were put in the world agaisn’t their will, as a consequence of this man’s actions. No one forced him to have a family. He went , created one, and then was disappointed, cause I guess family wasnºt like he hoped for. One kid died, one kid was not healthy and died too. Third kid also could not follow his foosteps and join the navy. The other kid was a girl, asthmatic, and still also had a health issue, had cirgury twice. And become fat as a kid for a while. As a consequence of the illness I had. I had something in the zone where the Bile liquid was produced, I couldn’t stand up even, I was interned in the hospital and operated on twice to remove something that I inside my stomach that was not supposed to there was blocking the bile liquid to flow in the stomach.

Then my brother went to college. He got his own laptop. So I could use the pc more. My brother is 4 years older than me. He failed one year in school. So around being 16 y old. I only had to share the pc with my father. So that was a good thing. But. I still hated to be home. I hated to be in the living room where my father always was. And mostly everyone was there too. And I was criticized all the time. For playing games on the computer of for watching anime/movies/tv shows. Anyting I did was bad if it was not studying or reading. And I did read and study too btw. When I was home. But I hated to be home. So most of the times I wasn’t. If it was daytime, I would probably just not be there.

I was ok and happy when my granparents were alive. But when they died. My life became a living hell. I could not sleep. I could not feel. I could not smile or laught. I was the numbest I ever had been. My friends, sort of left me alone, they didn’t know how to handle the new me. The grieving me. But I didn’t want to be home, I didn’t want to be alone either. So I found myself some new friends.

New Friends and Self-Destruction

At 15 yeals old , when my life changed drastically, my grandparents dying and now I was living in a house I didn’t used to be before and with people I didn’t used to live with before, my father. And that heavy enviroment, that aura, after someone dying, the silence, with my father’s selfishness/angryness and my mother’s insanity. I felt pretty alone and depressed and my old friends didn’t know how to handle the situation, and were obviously not enjoying being with me at this time. Because they were all having fun and laughing and I was clearly not in the mood so I wouldn’t participate much. They started to exclude me a bit. And I started to move on from them a little bit, as well.

I found new friends, or rather started hanging more with friends who were a bit different. I was from a poor neighborhood place. And a lot of people who live here aren’t sane and bad things happen here.

I hanged around with whoever was there tbh.

At 16 y old I was in highschool, I really didn’t like it, me and my best friend got separated into different classes, eventually she got some friends there, and I started hanging around with people from her class. I didnt like most people on my class, I had 1 friend or 2, but that was it. I talked with other people just not to be in silent and to not be labeled as awkward or shy, but it was just small talk. my class was mostly girls and only had like 6 guys. 3 of them always hanged around with the “mean girls“ let’s say, There was no physical bullying ever, but a lot of talking shit, and it was whispers and ofc when you arent there but you just know. Sometimes they tried to say something directly to me, but they would always regret it I think since I always answered back and asked if they wanted to fight, since some girls would try to threat to “slap me“ or something, and I always went with “bring it“ and then ofc they would give up.  Cause it was all just big talk .

I met some people through my “bad friends“ which I hanged with when 15, I met a guy who asked me out so we started dating.

Let’s call him Nate.

Nate, the first boyfriend chapter

Well , I met Nate, first just online, but he was an irl friend of my friend(lets call her patty), and also a cousin of another (lets call her angela). I was hagging out with Patty a lot these days and we met a bunch of new people, at this time. We hanged a lot outside, at this time, which made us a meet more and more people.  First he just messaged me online, I remember this was when the social media Hi5 existed. And I added him as a friend. At first he just left some comments on my pictures saying I was cute. And then we started talking a little bit on hi5 dms.

Eventually we traded phone numbers. My friend Patty wanted to meet Nate’s best friend. She thought he was cute. So she wanted to do a double date sort of thing. Me and Nate, and her and Nate’s best friend. The double date would be only meeting for some minutes at a train station and having a snack there. Nothing special. And in a very public space(the train station usually even has police at the doors). I hated to be home, and thought it sounded ok , so I said yes and went with her.

We got there and we saw the 2 guys for the first time irl. Before we had just seen both of them in pictures. Both tall and skinny. Let’s call Nate’s friend, Charles.

Charles had curcly black hair and brown dark eyes. Nate had blonde dark blonde hair and also somewhat wavy hair. They had a TON of snacks. I was really surprised. As you know, I was very poor, because my parents gave me no money to buy things like snacks, if I could buy a snack, would be really just one. But they had a ton of them, juices, cookies, chocolates, gummies. Literally all the snacks that school students usually enjoy. I was very surprised they had so much. We were sitting on a bench witht he their bags open and filled with snacks. So we were taking the food from the bags and eating. As Patty started to talk more with Charles. I was talking with Nate and eating because there was nothig else to do. We didnt talk about anything important and I dont remenber flirting or anything. We just really talked about snacks we liked for the most part. And when it got close to nightime, me and patty went home. Nothing really happened apart from talking here. Patty later decided she didnt like Charles. Nate and I kept messaging each other thought.

Eventually he asked me out and I said yes, again , I wanted excuses to not be home. And Nate was always saying nice things to me, Which I was not used to at all, my family would put me down daily. And even my closest friends would say mean things about me sometimes...which made me feel even worse. Having a person saying nice things to me for the first time, felt like the best thing in the world. When I look back at it now, it really wasn’t anything special, just lip service, but since I was so used to be treated so badly. The way Nate treated seemed ultra nice to me, in comparison. Even thought he was doing nothing special.

We went on a date. Which was just going to the park a little bit, in the afternoon. Nate did some dancing videos for dancing contests and stuff, so he asked me to record him , with his camera, which I did. We had like a kiss and started dating that day. Everything was ok so far.

After a while we had our first fight. Eventually we said “I love you“ irl. Me being me, I thought that is not something you say all the time because it would loose it’s meaning. So he texted me one morning, like saying that at 8 am... I was sleepy, late for school, I found it annoying tbh. It was so random, out of the blue. We both had just woken up and rush to school (to different schools). I wasnt sure why he would have send this first thing in the morning, I didnt say it back and I didnt think anything of it. But later I found out he was quite upset. Looking back now, I should have asked him to respect my pace. But in that time, I was just manipulated into saying I was sorry. Which didnt make sense but I guess I felt like I didnt wanna loose him and that I was the one who had done something wrong. Things like this kind of always got repeated. I feel like I was manipulated this way later in the relantionship.  Like eventually about my clothing and being with my friends. Nate was very controlling and suspicious of me. This because I think his reasoning was if I lied to my parents to spend some time with him (my parents would never accept me having a bf, trust me, they followed me a couple times, and I had to pretend I was going to see one of my girl friends etc...)  so he thought I would lie to him or something... which didnt make any sense... He was jealous of girls, and literally everyone. Also wanted me to not use any revealing clothes etc. He was becoming as controlling as my father and I started to get really angry and upset about the whole situation. Eventually I am sure I stopped loving him. This around 3 years later. And started hating on him a little bit. He didnt care or respect that I wanted to do well in school. Would try to not even let me study. All my time was to dedicate to him, or else he would be mad. At the time I was smoking and he would also take my cigarretes away from me. Eventually he slammed a door on my hand, when I tried to runaway from his house once. I thought my fingers would have broken. But gladly they didn’t. I started to cut myself as well. From how miserable I was.Being controlled and manipulated all the time. Even if I told him we had broken up. He would appear at school or my street and force me to talk with him. He caused me a ton of problems with my family. Wanting to be on the phone when I was home and until late hours in the night (which was really bad, I needed to sleep , I was trying to study and do well at school and everything in my life that he was doing would literally have negative impact). He has absolutely no respect for me whatsoever and didnt care about the problems he caused me . I would get home late because of him not letting me go and catch the bus on time. Not letting my sleep and not letting me study...

I broke up with him, but he just wouldnt listen to even that. He kept appearing everywhere and using my friends to find out my location.

I could finally escape from him when I got into college. And only because college was in a different city. I would get on a bus at 7 am and get to college at like 10 am. And stay there until 6: 30 pm and then get on a bus and get home around 8:30pm. This was my life. He couldnt stalk me as easily anymore. I was the whole day in a different city around 50km away. (Nate was quite spoiled and he had a car but he was literally a ppussy in person, he was afraid to drive, so he would never do 50km, not even to stalk me). He stalked me once or twice but gave up fast. I told him many times to stop texting or calling and to move on because we had broken up for good. I had to lie and said I liked someone else now. It was not even true. But when I said he, he finally stopped his stalking me. 1 month later, he was living with this other girl (LOL) which he was probably sweet talking online for a long time (so in a way cheating, he would be super controlling over me , because honestly, he was always cheating behind my back and was afraid I did the same to him), he probably was planning to go for her, as a second option, if I broken up with him. So yeah 1 month after he was living with another girl (talk about moving on fast, when he was always asking for us to get back together, it was always him asking and all, how can a person be so fake). Before this, for that 1 month, he told all his friends really bad things about me, I received emails and hateful messages of how I had been so cruel to break up with him . He also drank enough to go to the hospital and blamed it on me. I got messages from his friends saying he did that because of me bla bla. He also said he would suicide if I didnt get back with him (talk about manipulation) and guess what, we didn’t get back and he didn’t suicide, he found another gf in less than 1 month to live with. Anyways, he was probably already with her and planning to move for a long time , when he was still trying to convince to give up on breaking up and stalking me. I guess this was his plan B. He also sent me a tubmlr blog full of posts of how much he was suffering, as an atempt for me to forgive him, LOL. It was all fake posts tho, since he had a girl to even move in with, in denmark, just waiting for him to go there.

I ignored his friends hateful messages, blocked and deleted his number and all social medias. Made sure he couldn’t contact me anymore. This is why we couldn’t stay friends. He never accepted the break up. He was cheating the whole time. He had a plan B girl to run to if we really didnt get back together. I just couldnt even pretend to be friends with him anymore, when he never accepted that kind of relantionship for us. Even years later, he tried to have our online friends (from a game) from a game to talk to me and get me back to talk to him again, which I rejected. And that was it. End of this chapter. I tried to focus 100% on finishing college and ignoring the rest.

College. A fresh start.

College was pretty hard to balance. Between waking up super early and getting home late, and stil finding time to study without feeling too tired. College was nearly 2 hours away (ofc faster to get there early before rush hour etc). I spent around everyday 4 hours , 2 hours to go, 2 hours to return, in a long bus ride.

The bus ride was around a mountain so I felt sick often, because of the constant turns. I even ended up vomiting in the bus, in a plastic bag. I felt like I was going to die many times. In the days I felt fine and tried to study on the bus, reading when the bus keeps being shaky, always gave me a headache... but I had to study at sometime, and at home my time would be very limited, and it’s pretty hard to force yourself to study every night until 3 am and then wake up 6 am. or 5:30 am, which I had to do when I had classes at 8:30. If I had classes at 10 am. I still needed to wake up 6 am to catch the 7 am bus (I also had to walk until the bus station, it was not in my door step, not just eat and dress...)

When I started college I had no laptop to study programming, so I failed but I passed at mathematics and other classes. When I got the laptop , I repeated the programming class of the first semesters (6 months classes) and passed as well. I was very tired all the time in college. Not as much depressed, but more like just tired, every week I craved the weekend to finally get some sleep, but I also had to study and get some work(like projects and deliveries) done on weekends.

We had constant delivers, of code and non code projects. I had to every month several things to deliver and those werent easy. It got more and more intense , in the second year and in the third year where we had deliveries every week. And more mandatory classes. Not all classes had a mandatory presence. But the more important ones sure had , like mathematics and programming related classes. I was doing my best to pass and very focused on it. I ended up falling asleep in the bus all the time, sometimes missing my stop.And getting home at like 9 pm or later. I fell asleep in the last class of the day sometimes as well. I tried to study in the bus, and at school, in the times before classes or inbetween classes. (somethere there was like 1 hour hole in the schedule, so after a class, you would only have a class again 1 hour). My college was in a isolated place. There was nothing outside. There is no where you could go by just walking and transportation is always bad and slow. So I could not go anywhere in those hours to kill . I would try to study but couldnt always do it. I would hang around with my classmates who also couldnt go home or anywere by car. We all tried to do our projects while waiting, or just play games, or just watch something.Thought the internet at school was quite slow, sometimes it was hard to do anything. Here is the general description of college.

The good and the bad of college

Good

The good about college was how not all classes are mandatory and how you meet new people. Some people will  probably share your interests which is good. It’s always nice to make new friends. I found some friends into the same games as I was and some friends who liked anime and manga, not many like 3 or 4. But better than zero. I was quite happy with this. And the newfound calm now that I had no bf drama going on.  Still in the good, college does give you some purpose feeling. I was always told IT has like 100% employment so I wanted to be able to do it. My goal in life was always to become independent and to survive on my own without needing to ever ask help to anyone. I wasn’t particular ever like in love with programming (I didnt have a computer I could all the time, when growing up, no one in my family liked programming or knew it and I had to split my pc time with my brother and father so... Hardly there was ever any chance to get into programming and also it was something that you wouldnt learn in school (at least when I was in school, now it may be different). It was a completely new thing for me. I had a hard time learning it, but I know it was a valuable skill so I wanted to understand it so I could work on it later, so I had this as motivation.

Bad

I will try to break these down, but also say, none of this stopped me from finishing my degree. So if you read this and relate, please don’t give up based on what is written here.

1. Not much girls in a engineering school,

like this is not a big problem but sometimes it jusf left me feeling a bit lonely or missunderstood and had no one to talk about girl stuff. Sometimes it got me feeling a bit sad. Also guys spend a long time, in your presence, doing sexist jokes (because no etiquette i guess and poor education and respect for others) even with me on there, etc.

2. Professors and classmates can be sexist

If you are a girl in IT, people always assume you dont work hard and you dont know much... And your plan is to ride off the back of some guy who makes all the work for you. Other assumption is that teachers will give you a “handicap“. Now about your image, you can show yourself with good grades, participating in class, showing dedication and even sharing your notes with your classmates, the closest ones to you , will easily believe you do work hard and have knowledge and those wont be sexist anymore towards you in this knowledge and genuine interest regard. NOW, the ones who arent close to you, may have those assumptions forever on their head. There is really no point in thinking about this too much. It’s hard to change society so just do your part.

Professors may ask you more questions because you are the female of the group. Again based on the assumption that you did nothing are just being carried by your male classmate. It’s unfair , it is. But the only thing you can do is answer those correctly and proove your teacher wrong. Your coleagues will probably notice this unfairness and feel bad about it, noticing how the teacher was giving them a free pass on questions because they arent suspicious of them as they are of you, if you are a girl.

3. College parties.

My only problem with this, is that, well, for me personally, I lived far away and couldnt really go, because I would have no money and no car to return home and transportations finishes early. Now my parents were also very agaisnt me going out until late and would get very upset, specially if I waited for 6 am to get a bus to go home, if I did something like this, my parents would just not let me to go college anymore... So I had no choice but rejecting most parties and outings at night etc. I went to like 2 parties and never left very late.  And always had a ride home when I did these. (Because at one point I got a bf and he would drive me home and only them drive himself home)

4. Bullying?

Now by bullying I mean that even in college there was some unpleasant and toxic people (as there is in most places). Who seemed often spoiled or disrepectful or out of touch and also , most of them fit in the category of “people who didn’t even finish the degree or tried for long“ most of them gave up or changed course.

5. Overall Conditions of the college grounds

Cold or hot rooms(no ac), burnt and oily meals and not cheap either. slow broken down old desktops for the students to use. Basically anyone with a good laptop could end up doing the class work much faster. There was not enough conditions to those who depended on the facility. 

  Finding a job as a college student.

1. Finding a job was actually very easy as a college student on gratuation time. Basically you can find a job easily as the companies are ready to explore recent college grads. I got a job on my second interview. Yet, I got no contract for more than 1month and then I got an internship contract. That is for 9 months. After that I got a temporary contract. After so much shadyness and unfair treatment in this company  I left as soon as possible... changed to other company where I worked for nearly 2 years and then finally left that company as well. 

To explain better, in the company number one... 

[greetingsfromthebottomofthewell]

PHOBIAS ARE SHAPED LIKE LITTLE GREEN PILLS - PART 3: GERONTOPHOBIA

[source] [triggers]

1 of 2

Gerontophobia - Is the fear of growing old as well as the fear of anyone that is considered elderly. The third pill I took contained this phobia, and I am starting to feel a backlash from the two I have already taken.

You can call me crazy for taking the first two pills if you want, I don’t blame you. I find my actions a bit crazy as well. Hell, my cat has even started to look at me in a different way.

I decided to take the pill around 30 minutes after Max called me. I wanted to be finished with them as soon as possible. It’s odd, I don’t feel like the same person anymore. The only thing that is keeping me remotely sane is my memories. Well, except for one memory that keeps intruding my thoughts.

I always loved being around my grandfather. He lived in Spring Lake, North Carolina and when I was younger, I always felt bummed out that he didn’t live close to us. Though he didn’t have much money, he would always save up every little bit of extra money he had for when I came over for a yearly visit. My visit was only for 3 days during the summer, but most of the good memories I have in my childhood were from those mini vacations. I was 15, when I made my last visit to my grandfather’s house.

It started off normally, we went to the movie theater as soon as I arrived at his house, and he would let me choose the movie. Avatar was the movie I chose and grandpa kept talking through the entire movie. It annoyed me because he was just talking shit about how a man should not fall in love with gigantic blue women. After the movie, we got into his beat-up blue truck and went to the bowling alley. Around ten in the evening, we made our way back to his house. He fell asleep around midnight, and I grabbed a bottle of whiskey out of his cabinet and snuck out to a nearby park. It wasn’t the first time drinking, but it was the first time I ever stole something from my grandfather. I don’t really know why I did it, but honestly, I feel like I wanted to see what I could get away with.

You should have seen the look on my face when a cop shined her flashlight on me and asked me what I was doing. I couldn’t think of a clever lie to get out of it, so I just hung my head in shame and told her I snuck out of my grandfather’s house with a bottle of his whiskey. She got his phone number from me and waited with me until my grandfather came to the park to pick me up. The walk back to his house was the most awkward shit I have ever experienced. I knew my grandfather was pissed, but I also knew he would never be able to trust me again. He didn’t say a word to me when we got back into the house. He just went into his room and I went into the guest room.

While we were eating breakfast the next day, he told me he would have to tell my mother what happened. I tried begging him to let me off the hook just once, but he just looked at me with a straight face and said, “I really thought you were a good kid. You stole from me, and you drank underage. I can’t begin to tell you how disappointed I am. I can’t discipline you, but your mother sure as hell can.” I should have just accepted the fact that I did something wrong, but I was just filled with rage. I felt betrayed. As soon as I heard my grandfather pick up the phone, I rushed towards him to try to get the phone out of his hand. Before I could even reach him, he let out a gasp, grabbed his chest, and fell over. I watched him as he fell to the ground, and though I was still mad at him, I immediately called 911. He died on the way to the hospital. It was from a STEMI heart attack, and he barely stood a chance.

I always convinced myself that it was a complete coincidence that my grandfather happened to have a heart attack while I was running up to him, but the last couple of days have made me start to question that.

Anyways, I took the third pill at exactly 10:00. It probably wasn’t the best idea because I still felt the effect of the pill the day before.

10:20 - Why did I take the pill so soon. I should have waited a day before taking another one. The streets still scare me. Hell, even taking a shower still makes me nervous. Fuck it. I have a bottle of vodka with me, I’m going to keep chugging it until I can create some sort of confidence.

11:12 - I did it. I finally managed to run across the street and back into my house. I’m taking a bath now and I feel fairly comfortable, maybe I’m finally getting better at this.

11:28 - Geeze, I really look like I’ve gotten 5 years older. That fucking sucks. The last thing I want is to get older. It just means I’m dying quicker and that makes me really uncomfortable. Why do we have to get older? Why can’t we just fucking stay the same age and live forever? Fuck this. I’m definitely going to start taking care of myself better.

12:51 - I’m freaking the fuck out. Every time I see my reflection or look in a mirror, it looks like I’m getting older. Every goddamn time. I swear to god I am losing my mind. I don’t wanna die. I don’t wanna fucking die. Please. Let me stay young.

14:12 - I managed to drive to the Walmart in the Madison area of Nashville. It’s only about a 3-minute drive for me, but it really did feel nice getting some fresh air finally. An old lady was struggling with a couple of bags. She asked me if I could help her with putting them in her trunk. Normally, I would help, but no. Fuck that. She is just going to contaminate me. She’s just going to make me older. I already have enough problems.

16:02 - I got back home with a shit ton of groceries. I saw a lot of old people there, and it took a lot of time for me to maneuver around them. I can’t risk touching them. I keep looking down at my hands, and I see a new wrinkle every time. The weird thing is, I keep thinking about the elderly lady, Martha, that lives two houses down. She was always a sweet lady. Whenever I saw her, she would always make it a point to bring me some sort of home-cooked meal. I used to look forward to it, but now, I really hope I never see her again.

17:12 - An ambulance raced past my house and parked in front of Martha’s house. Two paramedics rushed in with a gurney while a younger lady walked out into the street. Even from far away, I could tell that the lady was crying. The paramedics wheeled the gurney with Martha on it into the ambulance and drove away. The lady was still standing in front of the house. I don’t know what I was thinking, I just rushed out of my house and ran up to the lady. She was sitting in the driveway sobbing. I put a hand on her shoulder and asked if she was okay. With tears pouring down her face she looked up at me and said, “I have been taking care of Martha for the past 2 months. She always seemed happy, but I came into her house today and saw her lying face-down on the couch. An empty bottle of her high blood pressure medicine was in her hand. She had a pulse, but she was unconscious.” I tried asking her more questions, but she just shook her head before getting into her car and driving away.

18:48 - I looked in the mirror again and saw that I look to be around 50. My face is starting to look like it belongs to someone else. There is a deep scar that is not on my neck that ends on the right side of my chin. It scares the hell out of me to look at me in the mirror, but after several gulps of vodka, I am feeling a bit better. I keep staring at myself trying to find some sort of clue. For some reason, I started to think of my mother. Well, not really think, more like I had a feeling like something was wrong. I tried to dismiss it, but my mind immediately went to Martha. If I had acted sooner, I could have saved her life. Without another wasted second, I ran to my car and drove the one hour distance to my mother’s house.

21:08 - I’m sitting beside the hospital bed next to my mother. When I got to her house I saw that she was lying in the bathtub with deep cuts running down both her wrists. It made me go into a full-on panic when I touched her, but I ignored my feelings and pulled her out. I called 911 and waited for the paramedics to arrive. I couldn’t help it, my stomach was jumbled into knots and I threw up in the toilet. I felt like touching my mother was the death of me. I looked in the mirror in her restroom and saw that I looked older than my mother. Anyways, back to my mother. She will be fine, I managed to drag her out of the tub just in time. She lost a lot of blood, but it wasn’t deadly.

23:41 - I’m back home now. I couldn’t stand being close to my mother. It’s fucked up, I know, but I can’t help it. I feel nauseous being around her, and it makes me feel like I’m flirting with death. Max called me a couple minutes ago.

Max: ”How do you feel, big man? Saved mommy. You must feel like a goddamn hero. Haaaa. Remember, you’re 1 of 2 today. You still let poor old Martha die. Thank you. You are making my research a bit more interesting, however. Alright. I don’t have time to listen to your bitching, so I’m going to hang up. Halfway there. Don’t die on me!”

8:12 - Shit, when did I fall asleep? My mother called me. She cussed me out and told me I should have let her die. Oh well, that’s just something I’m going to let the therapists deal with. I haven’t checked my reflection today. I don’t think I will. I’ll just wait till I take the next pill. The bottle of vodka is empty. How the fuck did I manage to drive to my mother’s house?

9:48 - I accidentally looked at myself in the mirror. I’m looking young again, but I did notice something odd. Half of my hair is now gray. Looks like I’m going to have to get some hair dye soon.

As always, this is Hayong. I wish I was braver, but maybe I’ll get to that point soon. I’m going to go ahead and upload this before I take the fourth pill. Wish me luck, give me advice if you have any, and share some funny pictures if you want to raise my morale. Send me a pm if you happen to have any inside info on Max.

Again, Max, Fuck you.