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#My way of writing Stanley has a little Raoul in him
alexis-royce · 2 years
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And we're all done! It's a shame to lose the silly chapter number, but I think the effect is still somewhat maintained with the numbers in the chapter titles.
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wheel-of-fish · 4 years
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By the Numbers: Ben Crawford, Ali Ewoldt, Jay Armstrong Johnson
By the Numbers:  The Ben Crawford/Ali Ewoldt/Jay Armstrong Johnson  Stream, August 22, 2020
[long-awaited submission from Aldebaran; I’m putting it behind a cut]
Oh my gosh, an epic stream deserves an epically long and epically late By the Numbers!  Come with me back in time, all the way back to two weeks ago, which in pandemic days is a month and a half.  Before we were treated to  Giant Ivan and Tiny Tamara in Moscow, there was The Swagger, The Disney Princess and The Bot…
This was a fantastically fun boot to watch as part of a group of enthusiastic Saturday Streamers!  Plusses included an earlier-in-his-run Ben “The Swagger” Crawford as the Phantom, with the spotlight on his booming baritone voice, and Ali “Paris’s Sweetheart” Ewoldt as an enchanting Christine.  And—Jay Armstrong Johnson (we’re pretty sure) as Raoul.  Or some semblance of Raoul.  Something was up with Raoul in this performance and the consensus was there may have been robotics involved. I won’t say more here; the streamers have it covered below and a fantastic set of memes by Onthevirg/faunaproductions caught tons more great moments.   Very very nice filming job by a master who clearly knew the show well and anticipated major moments and character moves in a smooth manner.  Not a bot though.  As far as we know.  And featuring an AIAOY– let’s just say that has to be seen to be believed.    
Some stats on the stats:  An asterisk * indicates a recurring category.  All numbers are accurate except where they are not.  I was tempted last week to resort to making crap up for this recap, but resisted the temptation.  I will occasionally add in a missing letter or two.  If a person’s train of thought is split up, I will ignore intervening commentary and put that thought back on track.  Occasionally, by design or by mischance, a comment or two will be moved slightly out of original chronological order.  Or wildly out of chronological order to cater to a theme.  Or a whim.  Only when it’s funny.  There is also no clean way to say the word “organ” which pops up a lot in this stream. (See what I mean?  It can’t be done.)
*Suggested names for this boot: The Animatronic Boot, The Better Than Cooper Boot, The It’s Alive! Boot, Robot Roll Call Boot (Okay, nobody suggested these.  It was me.  I suggested these)
*Statistician’s Favorite Boot Name:  mechanical hands down, The RaoulBot Boot
*Wow, we like to talk about Phantoms:  It has become clear to me that we like to talk about everybody.  And everything.  Phantoms, Christines, Raouls, Mandalorians.  Here are most of the people mentioned in the stream.  There is no context.  Just like a real stream!!!
John Riddle (9), Gina Beck (8), Ramin (6), Rob Houchen (2), Ethan (1), Eiji (1), Uwe (3), Jordan Craig (2), Sierra (1), Steve Barton (3), David Shannon (2), Norm (14), Earl (1), Cooper (2), Darua (4), Thiago (11), Rachel Barrell (1), Meghan Picerno (2), Cherik (19), Pedro Pascal (1), B*rbour (7), Eva Tavares (4), Ted Keegan (5), Maree Johnson (2), Quentin Oliver Lee (1), Jeremy Hays (1), Ben Jacoby (3), Andrew Keenan Bolger (1), Greg Mills (1), Michael Maliakel (1),  KKA (8),  Jordan Donica (1), Kyle Barisch (8), Andrew Ragone (3), Paul Stanley/Stankey (3), Hannah Gadsby (2)
Residual Stolle Thirst:  Residual Stolle Thirst from the stream a week prior to this one, plus Mr. Stolle’s appearance as Passarino AND the Conductor in this boot resulted in >32 mentions.  There may or may not have been comparisons between his Raoul and this boot’s Raoul.  I certainly wouldn’t put it past us.
Epithets for Ben Crawford:  Ubiquitous mentions of Crawdaddy and The Swagger.  More personalized and clearly personal epithets:  Big Ben—ktarinajones, BENBENBENBEN—whereisthepersian, OH HELLO VOICE—butdreamsofbeauty, my horny bastard and I love him—ktarinajones
Epithets:  reader’s choice as to which Phantom(s) the following apply to (no one in this stream):                                                        Fuckface McGee–therosenpants                                                      Sir Scruffsalot—snows                                                                    Voldemort—Benny-Lynne                                                                  Traschcan–therosentpants
Antici_____pation:
I can’t wait for jay                                                                                I honestly thought they’d slapped a human face on a robot and called it a day—angedelamusique
Let’s all just have fun trying to spy hints of actual emotion in Jay’s Raoul—GlassPrism
Oh there will be memes.  Ben Crawford is a walking meme and there will be a robot on stage—ktarinajones
Oh boy, here we go—GlassPrism
We love a trainwreck:
I love this stream crowd because you all show up for trainwrecks just as enthusiastically as you do for good actors—wheel-of–fish
We love a trainwreck!—butdreamsofbeauty
we’re ready—angelofthelake
trainwrecks are v satisfying—christinegrrl
We’re here with roses, we’re here with rotten fruit, we’re versatile!  A good tirefire is a marshmallow roast–snows
Debut of RaoulBot:  Before the show even began, JAJ’s Raoul had a name:                                                                                       
RaoulBot—ktarinajones at 20:01:33 (historic occasions get timestamps!)                                                                                     
wait they can’t moisten the raoul if he’s a robot, can they?—butdreamsofbeauty
they can oil him—ktarinajones
oil the raoul, perfect—butdreamsofbeauty
He has a silicone exterior—Benny-Lynne
wd-40—wheel-of-fish
How do we know he is waterproof?  Let’s see if he sparks when he hits the Raoul Hole—Aldebaran
Earliest Meme Generation:  Our intrepid memester Virg had material for a meme within 8 minutes 27 seconds of the start of the stream.
Love is in the Air:  There was a lot of love in this stream
Ali Love:  >32
Laird Love:  28
Carlotta Love:  20
Filmer Love: 5
Extreme John Riddle love: 2
when there’s video of John Riddle the filmer can have a kidney if they want—ktarinajones, seconded by christinegrrl
And then there was Jay:
Oh he did a head nod.  Well done.—Bozzleboz
At least Jay doesn’t shoot a policeman—PureAnon
Several head turns in succession there.  Getting ambitious.–Bozzleboz
Illumination!:  Auction Raoul set the tone for the evening to come, and the chandelier seized the moment to shine.
OMG, his jaw moves just like a real person….or a nutcracker—Aldebaran
His batteries are running down.  Maybe they will wire him for the new electricity.—Aldebaran
Robot Raoul is using all the electricity—Aldebaran
That chandelier isn’t rising—Ladyrock18
It’s not rising because they have to unhook the cables that power Raoulbot—DocTy
The chandelier shows more emotions than Jay as Raoul—Maze-zen
Erik made a Raouldoll to add to his collection?—Benny-Lynne
The chandelier shows the full range of human emotions.  That is why it was cast.—haunted-hideaway
The chandelier is more expressive than this Raoul—Carole
The chandelier can actually sing in morse code—DocTy
Meanwhile backstage Raoulbot is recharging in his alcove—Aldebaran
If you listen closely you can hear diesel generators in the background recharging the batteries—DocTy
C’mon guys, he’s solar powered—ktarinajones
is that why he stops working in the dark during AIAOY–christinegrrl
Statistician Aldebaran wonders if she will be able to handle viewing Cherik:
Oh I finally finished the 90’s miniseries!  I have thoughts!—Abberina
Abberina do you have thoughts other than “I hurt, I am in pain”?—snows
@snows the ending was WILD—Abberina
Abberina, I spent the whole day lying and crying after the 90s miniseries, are you allright?—Carole
“Wild”??? How are you still living!  That ending!  Gghh!—snows
Do you need something?  A glass of water?  Therapy?—Carole
My heart hasn’t recovered yet.  And I watched it 4 years ago.–Carole
Christine Who?:  One would think that Christine’s debut in Hannibal would have the streamers’ full attention.  But no.  All eyes were on Raoul in his box.  Or maybe just unpacked from the box he came in.
can it be? can it be a robot?—christinegrrl
can it be chreeeestineeee—butdreamsofbeauty
engage clapping program—Aldebaran
clap beep boop clap clap—angelofthelake
beep boop clapping action beep boop—Jadowdra
EXECUTE EMOTION—missbuster
Stache or cache?:  Once we were beginning to get an idea of the limits of Raoulbot’s programming, we turned our attention to his most character defining feature—the mustache.
omg mustache—MelancholysChild
His mustache is a little full for me.  Oh well.  I guess that’s where he hides his secrets.—haunted-hideaway
wowWWWW—put that boy in a floofy shirt and stick him in the pirates of the caribbean ride at disney, damn—snows
it’s where he hides his processer—therosenpants
haunted he needs something to cry into—ashadeintheshade
That is not a mustache, that is fiber optics—Aldebaran
although he is stiffer than the other robotic pirates—snows
Haunted, his secret is his charger entrance—Carole
You keep your secrets then, Raoul—haunted-hideaway
Autocorrect Follies:
Pinging = Piangi–Bozzleboz
Paul Stankey = Paul Stanley—IamErik771
Ironic Statement is Ironic:
I always forget there’s an elephant–yiks
Cooper finds a role:
[as Buquet appears] oh hey look it’s cooper!—snows                                                                                                                                    finally a role for cooper, buquet all the way—Aldebaran                                                                                                                                ohh wait sorry it’s the other scruffy creepy nasty weirdo—snows
*Best from Onthevirg’s Mom:  “like stolles passarino cooper should always be buquet—it’s a fitting role”
Joseph Buquet job  performance review:
DO YOUR FREAKING JOB BUQUET.  –madamefaust                                                                                                                                I’ll never get over that line “i promise i wasn’t doing my job!!!!!”—butdreamsofbeauty
The Boy Ain’t Right:  Little Lotte made it very apparent that Raoul may have been compromised.
Don’t make fun of him, you guys.  The tiny alien in his head driving his body is doing his best, ok?—haunted-hideaway
li tt le l ott e—tearoses
So….Erik’s looking like an awesome choice right about now…–HerbalPath
Usually i’m r/c  but uh not today—yiks
His hat is just an excuse he’s going to recharge a bit—Carole
That was almost threatening how he said little lotte—Ladyrock18
*Vintage MadameFaust:                                                                   Don’t quote me too much, my knowledge is based on judicious use of Wikipedia;-)
[inspired by Raoul’s Little Lotte performance]                                    CHOCOLATES 
HUMANS LOVE CHOCOLATES                                                                                                                                                                    *Biggest Organ in Paris:  The mirror scene included a thunderous organ accompaniment.  It took me ten minutes to write a non-filthy sentence that conveyed that information while containing the word “organ.”  The Saturday Streamers were fired up!  Except for a certain statistician–
WOAH—therosenpants                                                                    THAT ORGAN—PureAnon                                                                ORGAN—haunted-hideaway                                                              Wow—DocTy                                                                                      ORGAN!—butdreamsofbeauty                                                          did you hear that??????—therosenpants                                          organ—DocTy                                                                                    Orrgannnnn—Xyloghost                                                                    that roused me from Lore Olympus—therosenpants                          ORGAN!—Jawodra                                                                          What’s with the loud organ?—maze-zen                                            organ AWESOME—snows                                                                THE ORGAN WAS PERFECT—whereisthepersian                          I loved it!—MelancholysChild                                                            Is that new? that’s BADASS–snows                                                  Organ <3—Carole                                                                          The organ is loud because Ben is loud—PureAnon                          Erik is playing his pocket organ–Abberina                                        It’s the phantom of the phantom of the opera—wheel-of-fish
Oh God now I have to count Organ mentions (>20) and everyone is going to judge me—Aldebaran
*What scent are the Phantom’s candles:  Previously established in the official “Love That Lair” candle line, in addition to  Vanilla Brown Sugar, Cucumber Melon, Tobacco Spice, Underground Despair, and Hopeless Mist, the newest entry unveiled for this stream was Sepulchral Solitude, a light and airy blend of ennui, nihilism and condensation, perfect for occasional bouts of midnight composing.
*The Phantom’s pillows mentions:  2
obligatory pillow mentions, they are a nice colour scheme–missbuster
Baritone Love Fest:
we! love! a baritone! phantom!—butdreamsofbeauty
Baritones are the best!–PureAnon
Yes!—JacobZ
Yes to baritones.  To whatever they ask.—Aldebaran
baritones are incredible—angelofthelake
I like em big and boomy—Bozzleboz
yes they are—MelancholysChild
The deeper and boomier, the better—PureAnon
*Erik has Skillz:
Okay so Ben just flipped through about six alternate personalities in a single line, and that’s impressive—snows
his voice is like chocolate sauce—Benny-Lynne
His voice is so deep I wanna scuba dive in it—Benny-Lynne
The Swagger at Rest:
Sir must you spread your legs so—snows
snows yes he MUST—ashadeintheshade
nice stance—MelancholysChild
Oo.  Manspreading—Bozzleboz
but like… the good kind–snows                                                       
Sweet Music’s Throne:  Ben’s nascent aggression came out in his organ playing.  The INSTRUMENT!
OMG HIS KNEES This is really funny to me—madamefaust
He is def using his knees a lot—christinegrrl
Oh he’s….trying to play the keyboard—missbuster
He’s putting his back into that organ playing, there—haunted-hideaway
he’s definitely a more aggressive phantom I think—wheel-of-fish
A good squat workout I guess?—christinegrrl
Lift with your knees man—haunted-hideaway
The key to being an organist is all in the lumbar–Jacobz
Ben’s stance remains a source of….let’s call it concern.  Yes, concern:
He’s got good stance—ashadeintheshade
why are his legs SO far apart though—butdreamsofbeauty
because they’re so loooong—missbuster
power stance—MelancholysChild
is he riding an invisible horse?—jadowdra
And, inevitably, boner mentions: 5 (You know who you are.  Good thing, because I was watching Ben.)
The Phantom is pleased to announce:   boner mentions are ummm holding firm
Christine makes questionable choices:
oh she looked down—christinegrrl
she totally looked down and then bolted but let’s be real WHY RUN—snows
Boner-adjacent vocabulary:
Horny and variants (>17)
Lusty (2)
Organ—THE INSTRUMENT!!  (>20)
Christine does not stan a crafty Phantom:
he’s doing so well then he has to bring Barbara into it—Virg’s mom
SEE?  I MADE THIS FOR YOU?
OOPS
THAT DID NOT GO TO PLAN—haunted-hideaway
Strange Ships:  The debut of a long overdue category highlighting all the really random ships that are proposed during a given stream.
Erik/RaoulBot—haunted-hideaway
Andre/Carlotta–????
Barbara/severed Hannibal head—????
Christine/Luigi—ashadeintheshade
Barbara/new and improved sexbot from LND—Onthevirg
RaoulBot/Barbara—DocTy {streamers were split here that Barbara shouldn’t settle versus OTP}
Yes, I know, it’s a great disservice to Barbara but still, maybe they can bond over replacement parts—DocTy
Only in this streams I walk away with either a new favourite actor, a fanfic recommendation and/or a new pairing to ship—Jadowdra
*Education of the Innocent:  Several seminars were held this stream.  First,  a wide ranging and frank discussion of historically accurate ballet rats, pimping and ummm social diseases.  We segued from a dissertation on our own Madame Giry as a probable pimp to the topic of the hierarchy of French Royalty.  These topics heavily featured our resident history buffs therosenpants, angedelamusique, PureAnon and madamefaust, with varying degrees of participation in the pimping and social disease discussions.  Second, a discourse on “the catch” and variations, the catch being allowed in London and not on Broadway due to union rules.  A variant unknown to me, the “half catch” was mentioned.  Third, a sadly eye-opening (for some) discussion of the “horsey dance”:
Look, Norm was directed to do the horsey dance.  Anything is possible on Broadway.—madamefaust
sorry a HORSEY DANCE—butdreamsofbeauty
HORSEY DANCE???—onthevirg
horsey dance…??—angelofthelake
ah yes the ever classic jumping up and galloping horsey dance—madamefaust
It was more of a forceful trot during ‘Order your fine horses’ in Final Lair—madamefaust
faust you can’t just drop that in chat and not explain yikes—butdreamsofbeauty
someone link the gif—andgedelamusique
[fatefully the gif was linked]
thanks, I hate it!—butdreamsofbeauty
OH I thought that was a JOKE, that was REAL?—ashadeintheshade
oh noooo I saw that in like a compilation of funny phantoms and i thought it was a joke oh no—ashadeintheshade
The Horsey Dance claims more victims–Aldebaran
STYDI Sound effects:
[the Phantom collapses]
plorp—wheel-of-fish
plorp—MelancholysChild
Now I want to hear his palms squeak on the ground—madamefaust
I’m Jewish and I don’t approve of this level of ham Curse youuuuu—JacobZ
Prior to Il Muto the organ makes another appearance.  The INSTRUMENT!!!:
Organ boop!—Bozzleboz
Organ again.  Oh God now I said it.—Aldebaran
Aldebaran, you can’t escape the organ.  The Phantom’s organ WILL find you.—PureAnon
this Erik is so extra he took the organist’s place in the orchestra—DocTy
Il Muto Pillow Mentions:  1
Fascinating discussion about which is worse/better, bad actors or boring actors:
It’s the old argument between what’s worse bad or boring—GlassPrism
is it better to burn out or fade away—wheel-of-fish
Is it more fun to watch an Uwe or a Thiago—GlassPrism
Thiago activates my RAGE setting.—madamefaust
AIAOY is never make me watch this again:  Words cannot capture AIAOY.  Nevertheless we tried. Here are selected comments.
EXECUTEEMPATHY2.0—missbuster
Maybe there is a rat driving him by his mustache like in Ratatouille.  Raoultatouille.—missbuster
turn.her.90.degrees—Aldebaran
if she shakes him, I bet we can hear him rattle—DocTy
Raoul.exe has stopped working—christinegrrl
he bluescreened—butdreamsofbeauty
error 404—angelofthelake
can you even play Doom on this Raoul?—Jadowdra
Does he even like her?—madamefaust
He’s just staring into the abyss—angelofthelake
Why did no one tell him that wooing does not involve low-level dread—JacobZ
<10> no more talk of darkness GOTO20—snows
<20> forget these wide eyed fears GOTO30—snows
his wooing program has bugs–Aldebaran
YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN MY ARCH-ENEMY THIAGO–madamefaust
are they actually kissing?—madamefaust
now you must place your face upon her face and remain still—butdreamsofbeauty
this is depressing—virg’s lil sister
It’s more fun to suffer as a group—wheel-of-fish
Prevailing Theory:
The Phantom clearly switched Raoul with a mannequin—Maze-zen
Fondly Remembering Christian Lund during this AIAOY:  4
Fondly Remembering  “the Boop” during this AIAOY: 5
*Requests for AIAOY Kiss replay:  0
Priorities Straight:  Host Fish caller for dog pictures on her blog during the stream, resulting in the following mentions
Dogs (35, may need to be adjusted as one of Flora’s dogs is large enough to count as two), Goats (6), Cats (9), Rabbits (5), Chickens (3) Regular non-Cherik deer (1) Pig (1) Cherik deer (9)            actual human children (1)
The Masquerade, or as some wags had it due to the mannequins on the staircase, the de Chagny family reunion:
Let’s see the robot try to dance—katarinajones
dance.exe—whereisthepersian
dance.exe failed to start—phantomofthebasement
He is going as a robot to the masquerade–Aldebaran
People gonna trip over his charging cable—whereisthepersian
Relief is the wrong emotion to feel when the Red Death arrives:
Why at a costume party is everyone afraid of a costumed man?  How do they know to be scared?  Do they hear the background music?—JacobZ
It’s his authoritative stance—madamefaust
Christine’s reaction maybe?—ktarinajones
I think they’re afraid he’s going to drop another chandelier on them.  Which, valid.—madamefaust
They saw the bead work.  They know who it is.—haunted-hideaway
*Sad comment is sad:  commenting on the ornate bow on the score for Don Juan Triumphant
He wraps it up like the present he never received.—haunted-hideaway
*Fathering Gaze lyric: 1
*That staff tho:    
“I’m going to a graveyard.  I should take my shooty stick with the skull on it!”—haunted-hideaway
We passed the Point of No Return long ago.  From the auction, in fact:
his accent, lol–ashadeintheshade 
Accent—Bozzleboz
itsa me…—Aldebaran
ITSA HIM—madamefaust
I hate you all—wheel-of-fish
And Ben plays videogames backstage.  His inspiration is literally Super Mario.—madamefaust
That was some nice cup stroking—GlassPrism                   
The Raoul Hole holds no dangers for Raoulbot:
Oh no he’s going to rust and shut down in the lake—wheel-of-fish
They spray him down and moisten him before he jumps in, otherwise he’ll just float on top—haunted-hideaway
Raoul’s wifi is down once more:
Is the boat stuck?  Oh, there it goes—madamefaust
The radio signals running Raoul confused the boat—Aldebaran
The organ makes a return in Down Once More:  The INSTRUMENT!!!!:  2
Veil Fluff Mentions: 2
he didn’t fluff the veil—ashadeintheshade
I like the veil fluff–ashadeintheshade
Veil Yeet Mentions: 11
The Kiss.  An actual human kiss, unlike AIAOY:
ohhh he bends into the kiss—Aldebaran
Aw he’s TRYING to figure out how to kiss—Flora-Gray
He done touched a lady.—haunted-hideaway
That was a good kiss—Abberina
Bozzleboz breaks me, as the Phantom approaches hanging Raoul with a candle:
I burn him now, yes?–Bozzleboz
The Phantom breaks us:
oh god.  He just broke me.—Bozzleboz
ohhhh poor angel—Aldebaran
aw erik :(–angeloflake
he’s so resigned:(–Benny-Lynne
we love an exhausted depressed sewer man—butdreamsofbeauty
This Phantom survives just so he can go disassemble Raoul—Aldebaran
Looks Like We Made It:
Time to go plug Raoulbot in for the night—angelofthelake
Performance Comparisons for Raoul/Career Suggestions for Raoul, You Decide:
Nutcracker—Aldebaran
Mannequin Bride—coroaline
Tin Man—christinegrrl, yiks
Edward Scissorhands—GlassPrism
Calculon from Futurama—IamErik771
C3PO—wheel-of-fish
Automaton—ktarinajones
Dalek–missbuster
Cardboard Cutout—haunted-hideaway
Hat Stand–Bozzleboz
*Things I wish I had said:            
Christine in Final Lair:  She has to go put Raoul in a bag of rice but she’ll be back—Benny-Lynne
*Statistician Aldebaran’s two favorite personal quotes:  
little known fact, the red scarf is actually a fanbelt from Raoulbot
19 years on the score, 1 year on the bow
Phew!  See you shortly with the By the Numbers of Moscow from LAST week!!!  Aldebaran
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chiseler · 4 years
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Jeanne Eagels: Rubber!
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A theater legend and a cautionary tale, Jeanne Eagels came up in show business the hard way before becoming a star on stage in the 1920s in Rain, an adaptation of W. Somerset Maugham’s story Miss Thompson, where she played the hard-bitten prostitute Sadie Thompson. Eagels earned a posthumous Oscar nomination for a film of another Maugham story, The Letter (1929), after dying from a combination of drink and drugs at age 39 (future director Sam Fuller was the journalist who broke this story).
Eagels made a few silent films, some of which are still extant: The World and the Woman (1916) has a religious theme, but Man, Woman and Sin (1927) is as sexy as its title and contains precious scenes where a hot-to-trot Eagels, with her bleached blond hair and burning-the-candle-at-both-ends attitude, seduces the eminently seduce-able John Gilbert. Unfortunately, she did not film her star-making performance in Rain but lost that to Gloria Swanson, who circumvented censorship laws to play the plumb part in Raoul Walsh’s Sadie Thompson (1928).
Aside from The Letter, Eagels made only one other talking film, Jealousy (1929), which co-starred Fredric March and which is now lost. Bette Davis remade both of Eagels’s sound films, doing The Letter in 1940 and redoing Jealousy as the very overwrought Deception (1946), and Davis also won her first Oscar playing a washed-up, volatile Eagels-esque stage star in Dangerous (1935), so there is a line of succession connecting Eagels to Davis. In her version of The Letter, Eagels pops her eyes and bites on her words much like Bette, but she looks like a cross between Brigitte Helm and Anny Ondra. She makes some mistakes: the moment when she looks up and emotes when writing the letter to her lover in the first scene is dated. But as The Letter progresses it becomes increasingly clear that Eagels is an acting freak in a class all by herself.
The Eagels movie of The Letter is a primitive early talkie, seemingly undirected and stiffly acted by the rest of the cast. (It is thought that what is left of it is a work print, which would explain some of its deficiencies, though not all.) But Eagels’s devil-may-care performance is so deeply in some zone of its own that it comes through the ether to grab you by the throat and it won’t let go. There’s a palpable sense of risk to Eagels’s acting here, as if she were pushing herself and about to collapse at any moment. And maybe the film suits what she is doing. After all, some paintings are more at home in caves than in pretty frames on museum walls.
Eagels’s Leslie Crosbie is a desperate wife on a rubber plantation who shoots her lover when he decides to leave her. Her lawyer calls her a reserved and self-possessed woman, but this sounds absurd because Eagels is all over the place emotionally. When Davis played this part in 1940, she used her technique to show us her character’s icy control, which masked her sexual desires; this was one of Davis’s most tightly controlled performances, a virtuoso display. Eagels doesn’t have anything near the same control over her characterization, but she holds nothing back of what she’s feeling, and this makes for quite a spectacle. She is clearly in touch with some kind of madness as she rages against the dying of her own particular light. When Eagels’s Leslie shoots her lover (Herbert Marshall, who played the husband in the Davis version), she jabs the gun at the screen as if it were a knife and she wanted to stab us all.
Eagels had become a heroin addict in the mid-1920s, and she was so unprofessional that she had been banned from the stage by Actors Equity, which left her only the movies to work in at the end. Like a jazz empress, a Billie Holiday or an Anita O’Day, Eagels surfs boldly on liquid and heightened heroin rhythms in The Letter, and when her Leslie tells off her stuffy husband (Reginald Owen) in the famous last scene of The Letter, all bets are off: Eagels is shooting for acting Olympus and she gets there super-speed fast.
Eagels’s harsh, smoky, affected voice cracks with rage as she pours out all of Leslie’s frustration in this last “big” scene. She is not playing the words but tapping into wells of feeling underneath them that shoot out of her like Texas oil. Eagels is always hesitating over words here, even blatantly stumbling through them in an uncontrolled way that most actors would still be afraid of. “I know I’ve been vile, but I’ve no excuse to offer!” she thunders. “Your whole life was wrapped up in rubber!” And now she’s found her word, the word that explains all of Leslie’s anger and unhappiness, and so Eagels keeps repeating the word “rubber” over and over again, roughly, contemptuously, using it as a weapon, hurling it in her husband’s face as she declares her unmet sexual needs without shame.
When her husband means to punish her by keeping their marriage going anyway after her confession, for form and for show, she shouts her revenge at him and kills herself with it: “I, with all my heart and soul still love the man I killed! Ha, ha! Take that, will you! With all my heart, and all my soul, I still love the man I killed.” Eagels has sung those words “heart” and “soul” so that they feel like incantations, and then she just nods to herself and The Letter comes to its abrupt end. By contrast, Bette Davis had to be browbeaten by director William Wyler into saying this line to her husband’s face (she had wanted to look away), and she only says it once.
There is little visible technique in Eagels’s performance in The Letter, no distance to her reckless playing, so that when Leslie is flaming out it is clear that she herself is flaming out, and this links Eagels to a later 1950s Method actress like Kim Stanley, another stage star who finally had to retreat because she couldn’t sustain the level of emotional intensity she liked for long. Some people might know Eagels mainly because Kim Novak played her in a highly fictionalized biopic in 1957. (Candy Darling keeps referencing this Novak movie in Paul Morrissey’s Women in Revolt {1971}.) The shy and recessive and very sexy Novak tries hard in that film, but she can’t capture even a fraction of what Eagels puts across on screen in The Letter or what she reportedly had on stage. Unquestionably an artist for whom chaos ruled, Eagels saw herself clearly. “I’m the greatest actress in the world and the greatest failure,” she once said. “And nobody gives a damn.”
by Dan Callahan
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