#Nikki’s Weekend 2021

[thesmokingguns]

Picking Peach Chapter One

Warning: Minors DNI 18+ does have a small oral sex scene, talks of age gap, mental health, cheating

Word Count: 6470

A/N: Sorry this is so long. Part one is here and I plan on writing more of this this weekend. I hope you all like it <3

July 16, 2021

Ben POV

Peach? Who was this Peach everyone was posting pictures of and wishing a happy birthday to? All these pictures of a pretty blonde with a smile on her face that could solve all the problems of the world. She was gorgeous and that was putting it lightly. She seemed to know everyone but why didn’t I know her?

There were pictures of her out, never a drink in hand but always in some shade of pink like she was a young Anna Nicole Smith. She seemed younger than 27, but that was what everyone was wishing her. A happy 27th. 13 years younger than me. Lucky 13. Her arms around Instagram models and her arms around rockstars. And her lips on…Nikki SIxx? Well… that didn’t seem to fit.

A quick follow on Instagram before some  more web sleuthing and it turns out she had been with him for nearly a decade. The age difference of thirty six years made me blow out a breath. Even in Gold Diggers the age difference hadn’t been that big. This was a lifetime. 

But the way she looked up at him and how he looked at her…he knew that he had something in her. Lucky old man. 

Still…

‘Happy Birthday “Peach”. Surely that can’t be your real name?’ 

I sent the Instagram DM, looking around the airport like someone would know I had flirted with someone else's girlfriend. Was I flirting? Maybe.

My heart leapt when I saw that she added me back, a quick red heart from liking my message showed up and my pulse quickened as I waited, watching her type and then ‘Thank you. Haha. Nikki called me Peach years ago and it just stuck.’

No name. Nothing and for some reason I hated the idea of calling her Peach. I needed to know her real name.

‘But if you promise not to tell a soul…Sasha Jade.’

I smirked at this, licking his lips as he tasted the smile on my face. My  fingers typing out a new message to her. I just needed more, this magnet pulling me towards her for some reason as I waited for my flight back to LA

‘I’ll take it to the grave. Happy Birthday, Sasha Jade.’

She didn’t respond, just liked the message but it was enough for me now.

Peach POV

My real name. What a curious thing to ask for. I sat back, smirking at the idea of someone in the world knowing me by my name and not a nickname that Nikki had given to me years ago and I had got stuck with. How curious Ben Barnes was. This handsome British actor I vaguely knew about. Very handsome. Very good looking. Not young young but young enough that Peach was interested.

“You’re smiling at your phone, birthday girl.” Nikki’s hands were on my shoulders as he leaned in kissing my cheek. My hands went over his hand as I closed my phone not needing him to squint over my shoulder at what I was doing.

I was so tired lately.

“Mhh, Sami was texting me about LA being too crowded. She is buying a house in Colorado so she can survive the zombie apocalypse she is sure is coming any day now.” he laughed into my ear and i forgot all about that man sliding into my DM, turning to wrap my arms around Nikki, feeling his lips on mine as he kissed me. 

It was nice being home. 

The pandemic last year had been a difference in our lives. Before the pandemic we would travel and get to see the world together. But being forced to stay still as the world went to hell changed us. Nikki was looking for things to do and my anxiety got out of hand. I was so nervous doom scrolling the news that I had to go to a new therapist and NIkki insisted that I do an inpatient at a private hospital for a week until I calmed down. 

It wasn't the first time Nikki had guided me like this. Sometimes my feelings were too much and he needed me to take a break. But sometimes it made me afraid thinking when I would feel too much again. 

“I might go lay down for a bit.” Nikki was pulling away, frowning at me as I said this and I wondered what I had said that was wrong

“Really, Peach?” I blinked, confused as I saw the way his face darkened, “You know I’ve been working on my book. I took today off for your birthday and you just want to sleep?” he scoffed as I stood up, wrapping my arms around myself as I watched him walk away from me, having to chase after him. 

It was always me running after him.

“Nikki, please. What do you want to-”

“I’m going to write Peach. Enjoy your nap.” his office door shut as I frowned, pressing my hands to my eyes as I thought about screaming. 

Everyone thought I got everything I wanted but all I got was locked doors and the taste of my own tears. It was nine years with Nikki this coming September and yet instead of being solid I felt shakier than ever. 

He would be touring again and I felt sick at the thought; when I was 21 Nikki toured in 2015. I was finishing up school and couldn’t come with him but it was when Instagram was big, so I saw the pictures of him cheating on me online. It was the first time my emotions got too big for Nikki and he found me a pretty little place to stay in Malibu where they kept me calm and I talked about how I could be better. 

I forgave him. Of course I did. He had taken care of me and I was young, and thought it was my fault for not being there. I took the blame for his faults. 

But now…thinking of the tour he was going on again…I was sick. 

Pulling the blanket over my head I breathed in and out, pulling out my phone and feeling my cheeks pink as I reached for my airpods, pressing them in as I started scrolling through Instagram. 

Why had Ben Barnes DM’d me?

Mutual people we followed. Posts he might have seen. And- Oh…a like on a picture from 2015. What a finger slip. I smirked as I slid back to my DM’s, glad he was looking at my pictures so I didn’t make this awkward.

‘Deep Diving, I see. Anything you’re looking for?’

Ben POV

Fucking bloody hell. 

I had been jostled on the plane and my damned finger hit a photo, liking it. And not even ten seconds later there was a message from Sasha showing up to show that this was not going unnoticed and she knew I was looking at all her photos.

‘I am thoroughly embarrassed. And to be caught so soon… Aren’t you celebrating your birthday?’ 

Downside was that I looked like a crazy person liking old posts but the plus side was that she was talking to me. 

‘To overshare I’m having a Lesley Gore sort of birthday.’

My frown settled on my face. That wasn’t a very good birthday. I looked around, thankful for the privacy of first class as I held up my phone, singing into it. She deserved a Happy Birthday song sung to her. I wasn’t going to overthink it, just sing ‘Happy Birthday to Sasha’ and sending the voice memo.

This was overstepping a line. But she looked gorgeous in her pictures and I was curious as to why this beautiful girl was with an old man…

Shit.

Shit. What happens if he is with her and hears me singing happy birthday to his girl? What was I thinking? Why can’t I resist a pretty face why could I-

‘You’re an angel, Ben Barnes.’

An angel.

I smirked, tasting the smile on my lips again as I eased back in my seat and started sending more messages to her, wanting to hear all about her. I could only learn so much from pictures. What I hadn’t expected was the flight from New York to LA to be filled with learning about her, sharing stories as fast as our fingers could type.  We exchanged selfies, mine on the plane, pillow around my neck and her in bed, an oversized hoodie on and just pretty eyes poking out for me to see. 

She should be dancing for her birthday, enjoying the day and seeing her alone in bed as she deflected saying that she didn’t want to go out made me think there was a lot I didn’t know, a lot to learn about Sasha. 

But I felt like we were friends now, so that was a huge step in a short time. I just had a feeling we were destined to be more than that.

Especially when she gave me her number and the invitation to let her know when I got home safe.

Nikki POV

Looking up I realized my office was bathed in darkness. My neck heart from typing and I pulled off my glasses, rubbing the bridge of  my nose, realizing that I had spent the better part of the day holed up in here writing. I had gotten a ton done but I was shocked that Peach hadn’t snuck in, looking for attention. Especially since it was her birthday.

Her birthday which she had chosen to spend alone.

Peach had been sad lately. The type of sad that sometimes called for trips to the doctors to make her feel better. Poor Peach. My sweet broken girl who needed help putting a smile on her face.

I hadn’t even given her the gifts I had gotten for her. 

Pushing up from the chair I stretched, feeling the kinks in my back as I moved my body, stretching as I grabbed the bags from the closet, shuffling upstairs. I expected to hear quiet but instead I heard soft laughter and the sound of the TV on. My eyebrows furrowed together as I saw Peach, smiling as she watched something on TV, her phone to her ear as she laughed again, a smile on her face that I had forgotten she had. 

Her eyes landed on me and I watched it crumble. Her hand going to the remote to pause the show, some Game of Thrones looking thing. 

“I..I’m sorry I have to go. Thank you for calling and letting me know you were safe. And thank you for the Happy Birthday…it was…thank you. Bye-Bye.” she hung up, tucking her phone under her as she looked at me, all big eyes and pretty pout as she crawled over the bed, making that oversized hoodie she was wearing look more like lingerie than anything else. “I gave you lots of time to work on your book. Are you happy with me, daddy?” I groaned as I set her presents on the bed, taking Peach in my arms and kissing her deeply. 

She roped her arms around me, pulling me against her as I laid her down on the bed, wanting to make up for ignoring her. I Wanted her to know that I was sorry. Wanting to-

“Can I open my presents?” she was biting her lip, giving me that spoiled little smirk of hers and I knew I couldn’t say now. She was delighted as she dove in. tearing packaging off designer packages and clapping her hands with delight. 

I loved watching Peach be spoiled.

“Nikki!” She threw herself in my arms kissing me all over as I held her. Breathing her in, “Thank you.” Her voice was muffled against my chest, her eyes on me sparkling as I sighed, hands tangling with her hair, drawing her in and kissing her forehead.

My sweet Peach.

This book had be remembering moments of my life that I had wanted to forget, putting me in a state of constant go, trying to move away from the bad. Poor Peach was getting caught up in the running, reaching out to me as I swatted her away. 

But I am here with her now.

“Let me take you out, Peach. For your birthday, please?” We could still have dinner. I could save this. I could make this better. She looked at me, nodding her head. A sigh of relief leaving my lips as she scared away to her closet and I plopped down on the bed. 

Her work cell phone came out from under her pillow and my eyebrows furrowed. Peach’s main cell phone was on my plan and she barely ever used her ‘LA phone’ as she called it. My eyes glanced at the closet where I could hear her bustling around and licking the corner of my lips as I picked it up. Shocked when I saw that it was locked. 

“Peach? Were you working?” I heard the stillness as she poked her head out of the closet, looking at me with a smirk on her face.

“I’m always working.” she teased. “Give me five minutes and I should be done.” she was ducking back inside her closet as I locked at the locked phone again, feeling like something wasn’t quite right with all of this. 

Would Peach lie to me?

“We’re still going to LA in October for your book launch?” she asked a moment later stepping out of the closet. It took Peach less than five minutes and she looked like a goddess, making me forget all the curiosity as I lost myself in her beauty.

She was in a pink dress, see through on her stomach with feathers over her breasts, it was short with her legs shimmering with freshly applied lotion I wanted to  kiss off and high heels. Her blonde hair was down as she tilted her head putting in crystal big earrings. She had managed to do her makeup, simple but showing off my beautiful girl.

Sometimes it felt like beauty and the beast with her.

“Yeah, did you still want to come?” I asked as she made her way over to me, sitting down on my knee as she pulled at the lapels of my blazer, that smirk of hers driving me crazy as I breathed in the thickness of her perfume.

“I want to go everywhere with you, daddy.” She teased, leaving pink lipstick against my lips as she kissed me, slow and sensual. So unlike the hot and heavy kisses Peach and I usually shared as she slowed things down.

My hands rub her, wanting her as she smirks against my lips pulling away as I groan, reaching for her and pulling her back to me. She wasn’t going anywhere and she knew that. 

I needed her and when I needed Peach that’s all I could think of.

…..

September 2021

Peach laughed as she looked at Ben. He threw his hands up at her, joining in with her laughter as she tucked a strand behind her ear. They had started in DM’s around Peach’s birthday, switching to text shortly after, then phone calls and now were in the Facetime era or their friendship. Some (Ben) would declare they were best friends and tease her about how he would get bracelets made for them. BUt it was true. They would Facetime for hours each day as the other just existed. Sharing space with each other, wanting to just be in the presence of each other.

Like now.

Ben was driving to the grocery store, a mundane task, and singing along to whatever was on the radio. His latest rendition of Single ladies having her laughing as she sat outside, knowing Nikki wouldn’t hear her since he was recording his audiobook in the cabin on the other side of the property. It was too loud in the kitchen since renovations were being made after Peach had accidently set it on fire the week before.

As she tucked her hair Ben caught sight of the bandages and remembered the frantic call she had given him. She was crying, unsure what to do. He had walked her through putting out the fire, trying to get her to stop crying before asking where Nikki was. It was the first time he had said the man's name out loud and it hurt worse when he had to tell Peach to go to him because he was sure she had gotten hurt enough that she needed to go to the hospital to treat her burns.

“Are you okay?” he asked her and she nodded her head, feeling stupid for what happened the week prior. No one was mad at her but she had managed to scare everyone with her carelessness. “Are you still coming to LA next month?” She nodded her head, reaching for her water to take a long drink. 

She was trying to ignore this conversation but he wasn’t going to allow her to pretend like this couldn’t change their lives. Ben was no fool and very aware that he wanted to meet her in person.

But he knew it would change everything, just like Peach did.

“We can’t meet. You know that and please don’t make me say why.” Ben wanted to hear her say why. Wanted to know that he wasn’t crazy and that she was feeling it too. That this could happen if she opened up about it, “Plus Nikki’s keeping me on a short leash. He wants me to go on the whole tour and I just don’t want to be traveling like that.” Ben was surprised she was talking about Nikki in a negative way.

Sometimes she would let out tidbits of her unhappiness but to say she was on a short leash and give him more clarity shocked him. 

“You get motion sick. Not a great thing in a tour bus.” Peach blinked, surprised that he remembered that and grateful that when she spoke someone listened to her. “Maybe you need to break the leash. Stay in your condo. Oh, about that. I went over and checked the place for you. I picked up the keys. You said you were just changing the locks but I wanted to be thorough.” Two people other than Peach knew about the condo she had in LA. Her best friend Sammie and now Ben. 

She had always kept it separate not wanting NIkki to get ideas about her real estate and try to take over. Since her and Nikki did keep some finances separate she never thought of it as a lie. 

“Thank you for doing that, you’re the best Ben Barnes.” He smiled at her, posing so she would laugh again, “Are you going to Trader Joes? That’s no fair!” He knew she always craved things from the store and planned to stock her condo for when she came to LA in a couple weeks. He wanted her to be able to use this trip to realize that she didn’t have to stay in Wyoming, like a princess stuck in a tower. 

Sasha had options.

“Just move to LA and you can come shopping with me. I’ll even let you push the trolley.” She laughed at him and he knew he had used a word wrong, “What? What did i-”

“Are you on the phone with Sammie?” Peach ripped out the headphones, Ben watching the color drain from her face as she hung up with him, “On your work phone? What’s wrong with your regular phone? Did you smash the screen in a tantrum again?” He was teasing her and Peach had to put on her good girl face.

“You have time for me now, Daddy?” Her hands were out, pulling Nikki down on the couch, running her fingers through his hair as he made a soft hmm sound of content with her arms around him. 

Peach softened at this, some of her doubts melting away as she felt him. Nikki was exhausted and she felt bad knowing he was trying to use the rest of his life to make all his dreams come true, to leave a legacy. BUt sometimes she felt like there wasn’t enough room for his dreams and to love her. 

“Nik?” he made a hmm sound in response, “Do you love me?” He chuckled at this, turning to look up at her, his eyes on Peach who he could see was spiraling lately. Peach who got trapped in her head and made things worse than what they were. His sweet Peach girl looked at him and seemed so desperate as she asked him if he loved her and she meant it, she looked like she didn’t know. 

“Peach, you’re my everything.” He said with a sigh, pulling up her shirt and kissing her stomach, “You’re the love that makes it all worth it.” he was closing his eyes as he kissed her soft stomach again.

She was laying on the couch, worried that it wasn’t enough.

October 2021 

October came and Nikki looked at Peach with her several suitcases she was wheeling like this wasn’t an insane amount of shit to bring for a week trip to LA. He wanted to make a comment about how she was over packing but Peach had been in a weird mood for months and claimed it was work related. 

She was working more. Nikki couldn’t deny that. Her work phone forever in her hands as she typed away. She was doing more brand deals too and he knew she had several projects she was working on when they were in LA. It was one of the first trips that they were going on that had them both planning different things. On one hand Nikki was thankful he wouldn’t have to deal with his pouty princess but on the other hand he was worried that she was overworking herself and would have a breakdown.

“Peach, it’s like you’re moving out.” She looked up at him, a flash of emotion that made his stomach knot on her face before it was masked over and she laughed at him, leaning in to kiss him.

“With the tour coming up I want to make sure I have enough stuff to pack since we’re leaving from LA. Plus cleaning out my closet at home means you can buy me new pretty things.” she teased him.

But Peach had already planned to have six of the bags delivered to her condo in LA that she kept separate from Nikki. She had been using it as additional income as a rental but her tenant had left at the end of August and Peach planned to fix it up a bit. Things weren’t going right and she believed in having an escape plan in all situations. 

Nikki treated Peach like a spoiled child but at the end of the day she was worth a few million and had a steady income from her online involvement along with her counseling work she did at a law firm. Which she was going to extend while in LA to see if she could build her worth in case she needed to have more cash on hand. Peach wasn’t stuck in Neverland, the Peter Pan fantasy that she was sure that Nikki had managed to get stuck in at one point. She was growing up and out of being Peach, especially with Nikki not having the time or patience with her anymore. 

Peach had a rough life and she never wanted to be as unprepared as she was as a teenager. She harbored a lot of fear of having everything go to hell like it had then and promised herself that she would always land on her feet.

And there was also the Ben situation. Ben who claimed to be her best friend and knew more about her than Nikki did at this point. Ben who left her voice messages of songs he was working on that made her shiver. Ben who had laughed when she told him it was 11:11 to make a wish and yet texted her every 11:11 he was awake for, letting her know he was making wishes. Ben who made Peach feel like herself and not something Nikki had created.

They had managed to stay friends. Just friends because they had never met but now Peach was on a flight to LA and her heart was in her throat as she thought about Ben who she had told more than she should have about Nikki. Ben who had told her she would need to make a decision one day and he would support her either way. Ben who had just left her a voice message as she sat next to Nikki on the plane.

‘Sasha, your fact of the day is about the Horned lizard. The scientific name is Phrynosoma, which I used google to learn how to say . The Horned lizard can shoot blood out of its eyes, up to three feet away. This rather disgusting act is used as a defense and to confuse predators away. Ta-ta now darling. Safe travels.’ 

Peach kept her face straight, glancing over at Nikki who was typing out messages to people he would visit in LA, getting all the time in with friends he had made along the way. There would be dinners she would need to sit through and places she would smile and get her picture taken at. Nikki claimed he hated LA, talked about what a rat race it was but at the same time when he was there he lived a life he was excited about and Peach could always feel the difference in his moods. 

His hand landed on her thigh and she looked at his fingers, worn and tattooed. No ring on his finger. Peach sighed, her hand going over his as she laid her head against Nikki’s shoulder, loving when he remembered she was there and wishing she wasn’t always so desperate to have his attention.

“I have some surprises for you in LA, Peaches and cream. You’ve been such a good girl about being patient with this whole process. I couldn’t have done it without you. And it’s overdue that you get a little spoiled, right?” he teased her gently as she turned her head, burying herself in Nikki’s chest. 

Peach felt guilty. Guilty that she had a friend who made her smile, who she turned to because he always had time for her. Made sure of that. And yet he wasn’t next to her right now. No, she was with Nikki. The love of her life and Peach hated worrying about if that was true. Was he the love of her life? Because she often felt like she wasn’t his. 

Horned lizards shoot blood out of their eyes but Peach’s just cry.

NIKKI POV

It had been crazier than I had expected in LA. Peach had been less of a pouty brat than I expected and more of a shadow of a person. But I could see it on her face tonight that she was ready to rumble.

“We have two nights left in LA, Nik. And I haven’t seen you at all. Not one dinner. Not one date. Nothing and…what is that?” her head tilted to the side as she looked at the envelope I had in my hand, waving at her in a teasing manner. “Nikki! What is it?” She was dancing around me, her silk robe fanning out as I held it over my head, watching her smile as she wrapped her arms around me, kissing me on the chin to soften me.

“It’s a surprise. We’re going to a show tonight that's more jazz sort of lounge music. And I’m taking you out for dinner to have some one on one time with you.” I leaned in, kissing her as she squealed delighted as she pulled me in, long kisses as I let my hands roam despite knowing we didn’t have the time. I could make time for this. “Show daddy how happy you are with him, Peach.”

She looked at me, trying to hide her shock with a smile as she pressed down into the floor of our bedroom. Hands coming up to undo my jeans as her eyes glanced down at my cock, stroking me as I reached out, hand tangling with her hair. The way she gasped, my tip pushing into her lips catching her off guard.

Perfect.

Peach sucked me, hard as she stroked my shaft, using her lips as she moaned around me letting her tongue roll around my cock as she whimpered around me. She was Pulling off me with a pop, eyes up as she looked at me, stroking me with her lips still plump.

“Lay down, daddy. I want to sit on your face while I suck your cock.” Of course she wanted me to please her too.

I held her thighs, pushing her apart as my tongue slid into her, feeling her moans around my shaft as she choked sliding down me a little further. It had been too long since she had wanted to climb on my face like this and I realized just how starved I was for it. My fingers pressing into her weeping hole as she cried out. 

I knew Peach’s body like no other. I could do things to her that she had only experienced with me. I loved how she trembled on me, throwing herself into swallowing the spit and precum as she tried to go deeper and deeper around me. So needy.

“Daddy,” she gagged around me as she shook out, swallowing loads of cum i was depositing into her mouth. Her own body propped up by my hands as she came against my tongue, giving herself up to me. 

Peach crawled over, laying against my chest as she had her eyes half closed, ready to take her nap after exhausting herself.

“Tonight is a date night, Peach. No work phone.” she tensed in my arms for a second before nodding her head, pushing off the bed as she stood up, picking up her phone, hesitating for a second before turning it off and putting it in the bedside drawer.

“I’m all yours, NIk. Come shower with me.” her hands were held out and her pout was welcoming me in. 

My sweet Peach. I was going to make sure I took time for moments like this more. I hadn’t been the man my girl needed and I needed to fix that.

One surprise ata  time.

Peach POV

Ben was staring at me. That sneaky British fucker who looked so good in a suit that my mouth watered like I was hungry. His eyes were locked on mine as he sipped his scotch and he didn’t have the grace to look away. Nikki was on my arm, holding a bottle of water as I held my purse with two hands to keep them busy, wondering why out of all the shows Nikki wanted to go to we ended up here.

He was walking towards us? Eyes eating me up as I wished he didn’t look at me like that. Giving me knots in my stomach as I thought of how I should have never started talking to him.

“Great show man.” Ben smirked at Nikki, taking his eyes off of me as I melted in place, wishing Nikki had not insisted on coming backstage. “I’m Nikki. This is my girl P-”

“Sasha Jade.” I looked up, wide eyed as I heard my name spoken for what seemed like the first time in a decade. He smirked at me, leaning in and kissing my cheek, the bristle of his beard as we breathed each other in. Ben shifted to kiss my other cheek, so close that his lips just brushed over mine as he turned his head and I caught his eyes knowing it was done on purpose.

My head reached out for his bicep to steady myself as I thought about how incredibly small this room was and how I was ready to faint.

Nikki was there though and I let go of Ben as he pulled up, eyes giving me all the emotion I needed to see to know that this was a situation I didn’t need to be in with Nikki. He was already looking at Ben, trying to make sense of what he had just called me and how he knew me. 

“I followed Sasha on Instagram a whole or so ago. I didn’t think Peach was her real name.” He looked from me up to Nikki and I wanted to leave. Very badly. The guilt I felt for Dming with him for the past few months was bubbling in my stomach and I felt like I was going to puke. 

Nikki was pushing him into conversation, telling him a story about how he had played the Troubadour a million times and talking all about the 80’s and his glory days. Because of course that’s what he talked about when my feet ached in the heels and I was dying of thirst.

Ben kept eye contact with Nikki as he stepped toward the bar, grabbing a water and a barstool, pulling them back and handing me a drink as he nodded, keeping conversation with Nikki still. He held out a hand as he steadied the stool with his leg and helped me up on it, eyes still on Nikki as he listened to the story he was being told.

“Thank you.” I said softly, sipping my water as I finally rested my feet. I was exhausted, emotionally drained and wanted to scream.

“Did you already eat? I was headed back to my place soon and-“

“We ate already.” Nikki was short with him as Ben nodded his head, shaking Nikki’s hand and smiling at him. He knew that the time between them was done and anything extra would let him know to much. 

Was there too much?

“Thanks for coming to the show.” Ben was so short with him and then he turned to me, eyes sparkling as I felt myself want to shake my head. But he was smart, “Goodnight, Sasha.” I only could wave a few fingers as he walked away.

What. The. Fuck.

“Everyone follows you, Peach. It was strange hearing him use your name.” Nikki was oblivious to the puddle I was in and I was thankful for that small miracle. Finally willing myself to stand up, grabbing Nikki’s arm.

“I’m exhausted, Nik. And I have an early shoot time.” He nodded, at least understanding that I had to work. 

I wasn’t going to talk to Ben again. I needed to stop this because seeing him in person made my crush that much worse. But as I laid in bed listening to Nikki snore beside me I felt myself reaching for my phone, wishing to see a message from Ben, disappointed when I didn’t. 

And that disappointment scared me.

Ben POV

The show had left me on a high where I couldn’t sleep. Even after staying until the venue had kicked us all out I had managed to push through and stay up until the twilight hours. Maybe I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about Sasha, wishing she would text me first so I didn’t come off as too pushy.

She had looked…phh..

Exquisite.

I couldn’t stop thinking of her. The sheer black gloves, that silk dress hugging her body. All black like a midnight sky and she was the moon, lighting up the room. I had caught sight of her when I was singing, eyes meeting hers as I sang 11:11 for the person it was written for, watching her painted red mouth gasp and oh what a dream come true it had been, until I realized the nightmare that was beside her.

She had told me about him, careful words but when we video chatted her eyes would drift to the side, sad and sullen before she wanted to change the subject. There was something about him that gave off dirty old man vibes and I wondered why she was with him.But she loved him and I think part of her knew she always would. Sasha was growing, learning and I hoped she would soon realize that you can hold onto a love story even after it ends. 

We were friends but today, touching her and breathing her in. The way we looked at each other made it very, very clear what a terrible ruse this friendship was. This was a friendship where we pined for each other but I wouldn’t push her. No, if I pushed she would pull away.

‘You’re amazing. I don’t tell you that enough. You amazing, talented, handsome man. XXOO SJ’

Smiling at my phone like a fool. I wondered if she was in bed with him and my mood darkened as I put my phone down, turned away as i undid the button on my shirt and poured myself a drink. Looking out at LA I thought about the girl I knew I was going to fall in love with, very aware that she wasn’t ready for it. 

I closed my eyes, head tilting back as I pinched the bridge of my nose and thought about what I was going to do. I didn’t want to be just her friend but if that was all I could get would it be torture or could I make it enough? Was I not understanding her side of the situation as much?

I couldn’t quit her cold turkey and knowing how unhappy she was, how could I let her sit there, waiting for me to respond and get nothing back. I had to put my feelings aside and think of her. Someone had to think of her.

‘You’re exquisite. Getting to sing to you in a crowd of people, it was my dream come true. Sleep well, darling XX BB’

I hope as she read that she knew that she was my dream and that I was never going to stop chasing her.

It was a new day, the sunlight was rising over LA as I pulled my phone from my pocket holding it up to my mouth to leave her a voice message. 

‘The fact of the day, darling, is you’re the most ravishing girl I have ever seen. So blinded by your glow that I can’t close my eyes without seeing twinkling stars in your smile. I hope you’re sleeping, Sasha. I hope you only have swirls of good dreams dancing through your head. And if you wake up to this, Good morning and what a wonderful day I wish for you’

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

June 12, 2023

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

JUN 13, 2023 But the Trump base is not what it was in 2016, when Trump commanded the federal government. Right-wing personality Tucker Carlson is off the air and the Fox News Channel is apparently considering legal action against him to keep him from competing with his old employer. The leaders of the Proud Boys and the Oath Keepers, who organized the Capitol attack, are scattered or in prison, and hundreds of those who were at the Capitol that day have discovered the weight of the law. The number of candidates challenging him suggests Trump is no longer the undisputed leader of the Republican Party. Republican leaders are beholden to his base, though, and they either came out swinging over the weekend to defend Trump or kept silent. But they, too, appear to have been thinking a bit about the weight of the law as information comes out that key evidence against Trump has come from his former lawyer M. Evan Corcoran, who apparently took notes of Trump’s requests that Corcoran break the law. While Republican presidential candidates former South Carolina governor Nikki Haley and South Carolina senator Tim Scott are still defending Trump, Haley today said that “Trump was incredibly reckless with our national security,” and Scott said the case is “serious.” They, and politicians like them, are likely making a political calculation. Trump is the frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination but is unlikely to win a general election—a network tied to billionaire Charles Koch has begun to target him as unelectable—and they need to appeal to those who dislike Trump as well as those who like him. But there is something else going on, too. As Trump and his loyalists sound more and more unhinged, both in his defense and in their attacks on everyone who isn’t in their club, people seem to be sick of them. As Charles C. W. Cooke asked in the conservative National Review, “Aren’t you all tired of this crap?” In contrast, President Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris have steadfastly refused to engage with the Trump drama and have quietly worked to rebuild the government that forty years of austerity and ideological attacks have undermined. Their determination to rebuild the middle class has led to strong economic growth, high employment, and now inflation at its lowest level since May 2021. Government investment in new technologies and in returning supply chains to the U.S. has led to private investment of more than $220 billion in the economy and the creation of more than 77,000 new jobs, largely in Republican-dominated states. Manufacturing construction has more than doubled in the past year. As the architects of Reagan’s revolution exit stage right, Republican calls for more tax cuts are barely making the news, while the traditional idea of government investment in the American people appears to be showing its strength. “The wind is shifting,” the Washington Post’s Jennifer Rubin tweeted today after listening to Haley and Scott backtrack. “Remember: change happens slowly and then all at once.”

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[newstfionline]

Friday, March 8, 2024

Springing forward (AP) Once again, most Americans will set their clocks forward by one hour this weekend, losing perhaps a bit of sleep but gaining more glorious sunlight in the evenings as the days warm into summer. There’s been plenty of debate over the practice, but about 70 countries—about 40% of those across the globe—currently use what Americans call daylight saving time. While springing the clocks forward “kind of jolts our system,” the extra daylight gets people outdoors, exercising and having fun, says Anne Buckle, web editor at timeanddate.com, which features information on time, time zones and astronomy. “The really, really awesome advantage is the bright evenings, right?” she says. “It is actually having hours of daylight after you come home from work to spend time with your family or activities. And that is wonderful.”

Biden’s big move on Gaza (Politico) President Joe Biden announced that the U.S. military will establish a temporary seaport in Gaza, effectively sidestepping a de facto Israeli blockade to allow more humanitarian aid in. The move to expand aid flows also includes “the opening of a third land crossing into Gaza, which the United Nations confirmed Thursday will allow aid to flow into the northern part of the territory.” It will be a complex operation that could take 45 to 60 days to establish a “regular cadence of large assistance packages” into Gaza through Cyprus. And it will somehow be done without U.S. troops having to set foot in Palestinian territory: “The U.S. military has ‘unique capabilities’ that allow it to construct a port or causeway without having to send forces to Gaza’s shores, said one of the officials.”

The Biden-Trump rematch feared by many voters has now arrived (Washington Post) President Biden’s campaign aides have long said that once the presidential race becomes a clear contrast between two choices, their electoral prospects would brighten as voters come face to face with the stark prospect of Donald Trump’s return to the White House. With the Super Tuesday contests completed and Trump’s last major GOP rival, former U.N. ambassador Nikki Haley, suspending her campaign, Biden’s allies now have their chance—and eight months of political combat—to prove their theory. The 2024 general election has kicked off in earnest—promising to be the longest, most expensive and, perhaps, most divisive presidential race in recent memory. The reactions of both men to Tuesday’s results—with each rushing to attack the other and casting the election as an existential moment for the country—offered a hint of what voters can expect to see in a rematch of the 2020 race that many have long said they dreaded.

Profound Damage Found in Maine Gunman’s Brain, Possibly From Blasts (NYT) A specialized laboratory examining the brain of the gunman who committed Maine’s deadliest mass shooting found profound brain damage of the kind that has been seen in veterans exposed to repeated blasts from weapons use. The gunman, Robert Card, was a grenade instructor in the Army Reserve. In 2023, after eight years of being exposed to thousands of skull-shaking blasts on the training range, he began hearing voices and was stalked by paranoid delusions, his family said. He grew increasingly erratic and violent in the months before the October rampage in Lewiston, in which he killed 18 people and then himself. According to the lab’s report, throughout Mr. Card’s brain there was scarring and inflammation suggesting repeated trauma. It was a characteristic pattern of damage that has been found before in military veterans who were repeatedly exposed to weapons blasts during their service.

Haitian leader, unable to return to country, faces pressure to resign (Washington Post) The United States is urging Haiti’s embattled prime minister to clear the way for the election of a new president, a position vacant since 2021, amid growing pressure from armed rebels at home and governments abroad. Linda Thomas-Greenfield, the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, told reporters Wednesday that the U.S. government has asked Prime Minister Ariel Henry to “move forward on a political process that will lead to the establishment of a presidential transitional council that will lead to elections.” As the armed gangs that control an estimated 80 percent of Haiti’s capital called for Henry’s ouster, the prime minister was having difficulty returning to the country. The 74-year-old physician, unelected and increasingly isolated, has declined so far to step down.

Hondurans glued to their former president’s US drug trafficking trial (AP) Hondurans call it the “Trial of the Century,” but it’s occurring in a New York courtroom some 3,500 miles (5,630 kilometers) away. Former Honduras President Juan Orlando Hernández has been on trial since February in a federal courthouse in Manhattan, accused of taking bribes to protect drug traffickers, even as he portrayed himself publicly as an ally in the U.S. drug war. The trial is not televised, but some Honduran news outlets sent their own reporters to New York to cover the prosecution, with each pre-trial motion dissected by local news outlets.

Anger over corruption and Portugal’s economy could help a radical right party in Sunday’s election (AP) Home furnishings giant Ikea recently placed billboards in Portugal advertising a self-assembly bookcase, with a wink at the country’s political upheaval. “A good place to stash books. Or to stash 75,800 euros,” it said. That’s the amount of cash, equivalent to $82,000, police found stuffed in envelopes on bookshelves when they searched the office of the prime minister’s chief of staff last year during a corruption investigation. The discovery triggered a scandal that brought down the government and led to an early general election on Sunday. Outrage over the scandal could give further momentum to a rightward drift in European politics as a radical right populist party benefits from disenchantment with mainstream political parties. Similar trends gripped neighboring Spain and France.

Poland sees its most violent protest yet against Ukraine imports, EU rules (AP) Poland saw its most violent protest by farmers and supporters yet Wednesday as some participants threw stones at police and tried to push through barriers around parliament, injuring several officers, police said. Police used tear gas and said they detained over a dozen people and prevented the protesters from getting through to the Sejm, the Polish parliament. Farmers are angry over European Union climate policies and food imports from Ukraine that they say threaten their livelihoods. Such protests have occurred across the 27-member EU in recent weeks, but this one was decidedly angrier than earlier demonstrations in the central European nation. The protesters are demanding a withdrawal from the EU’s Green Deal, requiring farmers to reduce the excessive use of polluting chemicals to boost their crops. The protesters also want the Polish-Ukrainian border closed to stop the imports of Ukrainian food products, which farmers say drive down market prices and put Poland’s agricultural sector in jeopardy.

Russian missile strike hits near Zelensky motorcade in Odessa (Washington Post) A Russian missile strike appeared to target Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky on Wednesday, landing near his motorcade in the Black Sea port city of Odessa, where the president was meeting with Greek Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis. Zelensky and members of the Greek delegation were not harmed, despite the missile landing some 500 feet away. Foreign leaders have made frequent trips to Ukraine throughout the country’s two years of war with Russia, and this isn’t the first time there has been a strike on a city at the same time as one’s visit. But Wednesday’s incident stood out for how close the missile strike was to both Zelensky and Mitsotakis.

More Chinese women choosing singledom as economy stutters (Reuters) Freelance copywriter Chai Wanrou thinks marriage is an unfair institution. Like many young women in China, she is part of a growing movement that envisions a future with no husband and no children, presenting the government with a challenge it could do without. President Xi Jinping last year stressed the need to “cultivate a new culture of marriage and childbearing” as China’s population fell for a second consecutive year and new births reached historic lows. The Communist Party views the nuclear family as the bedrock of social stability, with unmarried mothers stigmatised and largely denied benefits. But a growing number of educated women, facing unprecedented insecurity amid record youth unemployment and an economic downturn, are espousing “singleism” instead.

Israel-Hamas Talks Over Hostage Releases and a Cease-Fire Stall (NYT) Talks between Israel and Hamas over the release of dozens of Israeli hostages held in Gaza have stalled, dimming hopes that a deal could be reached before Ramadan begins in a few days, according to several people briefed on the conversations. Negotiators had been discussing a proposal for an initial six-week cease-fire during which Hamas would release about 40 people—including women, elderly and ill hostages, and five female Israeli soldiers—for a substantial number of Palestinian prisoners. But in recent days, Hamas has backed away from the proposed agreement and made demands that Israel refuses to meet, according to officials briefed on the talks.

Concerns raised Israel is deliberately targeting journalists in Gaza (Press Gazette) The International Federation of Journalists alleges that the Israeli Defense Forces are using technology to specifically track and target journalists. The Committee to Protect Journalism estimates that 94 media workers have been killed since the conflict began, while the Palestinian Journalists Syndicate says that 120 journalists—or 10% of its membership—have been killed since October.

Houthi missile strike on ship kills 3 civilian mariners, U.S. says (Washington Post) Houthi militants struck a Barbados-flagged, Liberian-owned commercial vessel off the coast of Yemen on Wednesday, killing three civilian mariners, U.S. officials said—the first known fatalities since the Houthis began targeting ships in what they describe as a response to Israel’s actions in Gaza. On Wednesday evening local time, the United States conducted self-defense strikes against two unmanned aerial vehicles that threatened U.S. Navy and maritime vessels in the area. At least four people were injured in the Houthi missile attack; three are in critical condition, said U.S. Central Command, which oversees military operations in the region. The crew of True Confidence abandoned the ship, and allied warships responded.

New attacks by IS-linked group in Mozambique leave over 70 children missing (AP) A surge of new attacks by an Islamic State-affiliated group in Mozambique’s Cabo Delgado province has left more than 70 children missing, with fears they may have drowned in a river or been kidnapped by militants as thousands of families fled, local authorities and a group of aid agencies said. The attacks have hit areas that had been relatively untouched since the start of the jihadist insurgency in Cabo Delgado in 2017. They may mark a new stage in a crisis that aid agencies say forced more than a million people to flee their homes during nearly seven years of violence. Thousands were killed.

Pope Francis’ health (AP) Pope Francis again asked an aide to read his remarks and was unable to get back onto his popemobile Wednesday, as lingering respiratory and mobility problems continued to take their toll on the 87-year-old pontiff. Francis presided over his weekly general audience, held outside for the first time this year in a chilly St. Peter’s Square. But he had an aide read his catechism lesson, as he has done for the past several days. Last Wednesday, Francis went to the hospital for unspecified diagnostic tests, the results of which have not been released. He has been suffering on and off this winter from what he and the Vatican have said was a cold, bouts of bronchitis and the flu. The Argentine pope had part of one lung removed as a young man because of a respiratory infection, and he often speaks in a whisper even when not sick. In 2021, he had a chunk of his colon removed and last year had surgery to repair an abdominal hernia and remove intestinal scar tissue.

[avaliveradio]

New Indie Rock Rising Music Radio with Jacqueline Jax November

We air our Rock Rising Music Show every week as an Exclusive Featured Spotify episode that will post to replay after it airs. 

AVA Live Radio hosted by Jacqueline Jax is a podcast that puts an unfiltered provocative spin on new music and what’s behind the releases. This show talks about what’s happening in indie rock today as of November 2022.

*This show is exclusive to Spotify and all royalties from the show pay to the artists directly through spotify. In addition, listeners can replay your single right on spotify while listening to our show or jump directly to your spotify page.

Rock Rising with Jacqueline Jax

Listen on Spotify: <here>

Follow the playlist

Featured Artists

Rock Rising Lineup:

Fluorescents - Weekendz

Released by: Fluorescent Records

Similar artists: A Day To Remember, The Story So Far, Chunk! No Captain, Chunk!

"This is by far the wildest song we've ever done. Enjoy! "

Weekends pushes the boundary between modern pop-punk & rock! It's heavy, catchy and uses a good mix of modern and classic production techniques to really breathe life into the songs mix. Weekends should appeal to pop-punk & rock fans! An independent Pop-Punk band out of Chicago with a DIY spirit! We push the boundaries of Pop-Punk with every release! New music dropping throughout all of 2022!

More on this band…

OPE -  HONESTLY

Genre: Shoegaze, Garage Rock, Emo

Similar artists: Sonic Youth, Smashing Pumpkins, The Cure, Fugazi, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Foo Fighters, Le Tigre, MBV.

The song is a strong first launch for the band.  The feeling of wanting to be heard and understood. Sonicly mixing Shoegaze and Post-Grunge to emphasize those emotions.

More on this band…

Nikki Wishart - Spell it out to u

Genre: Pop Punk, Adult Contemporary

Similar artists: Gayle, UPSAHL, DYLAN

Soaked in sass, Nikki Wishart releases the new single ‘Spell it out to u’.  The fierce message to all narcissists who think “they are fucking saints.” Melbourne’s sonic poet unleashes a spirited indie-pop melody that stays true to her distinctive lyricism and authentic energy that leaves you empowered. 

More on this band…

Ashes and Arrows - The Crown

Released by: Ashes & Arrows LLC

Genre: Southern Rock / Red Dirt

Ben Voigt (Vocalist + Piano)- Ciaran McMeeken (Vocalist + Guitar) -Jonathan Calhoun (Vocalist + Guitar)

From the mountains of Asheville, North Carolina to the peaks of Arrowtown, New Zealand Ashes & Arrows are taking the music scene by storm with their strong vocals, thoughtful lyrics, and on-stage charisma. Drawing inspiration from NEEDTODBREATH, Ed Sheeran, Jason Isbel, and Patrick Droney, Ashes & Arrows write their songs in a unique and authentically original form. While stuck at individual musical crossroads, the lads met at an open mic in downtown Asheville in 2021 and immediately regained their joy and inspiration to write and perform music with the feeling of their first individual performances.

More on this band…

The Comfort -Bloom

Released by: Greyscale Records

Genre:  Pop Rock, Indie Pop, Emo

Similar artists: The Dangerous Summer, Angles and Airwaves, The Band CAMINO, Taking Back Sunday, The Maine, Valley

‘Bloom’ is a reflection on the good and bad parts of a relationship that has ended. I was talking to my brother a while ago about a relationship ending and he said “it’s essentially the same as someone dying, just in your life only” and I think he’s absolutely spot on an Liam also nailed that feeling in his second verse on this song that is all about grief and acceptance.

More on this band…

Harley Olivia - Diggin

Genre: Pop Rock, Indietronica, Alt Pop

Similar artists: Miley Cyrus, Paramore, Hayley Williams, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga

‘Diggin’ by Harley Olivia is an energetic, fierce, and unapologetic pop song. “I wrote this hard-hitting pop song in response to an ex who refused to listen to reason or reach any kind of settlement. Once I realized they were twisting the truth to make me suffer, I wrote this song. “ This energetic single is built on a strong back-beat with electric guitar, industrial sounding synths, and vocals oozing with sex and swagger for a memorable high-stakes ride.

More on this band…

Mort City - Pumpkin Pie

Released by: Arizona Digital

Genre: 90s Rock, Indie Rock, Alternative Rock

Similar artists: Cage the Elephant

'Pumpkin Pie' by Mort City is not just a nostalgic track of the 90’s it also has a very fresh feel in the vocal melting the past with the present really well. It's a flirty, high energy tune with an afrobeat rhythm section providing the foundation for funky guitar and chromatic melodies fronted by punk rap vocals. Sounds like a collaboration between Tony Allen (Fela Kuti), Tom Morello, and Cage the Elephant.

More on this band…

Catalyst Combs - Rain

Released by: Catalyst Combs Music LLC

Genre: Alternative Hip-Hop, Alternative Rock

Similar artists: Two Feet, Grandson, Linkin Park, Twenty One Pilots

“Rain” is an ode to the dark times. To losing hope, losing love, losing yourself. It’s a love song for self-sabatoge in search of relief. This is the first release for Catalyst Combs (formely known as DRAE) under his new name. Catalyst Combs (formerly known as DRAE) is an alternative artist who draws genre-blending influences from Rage Against The Machine, grandson and Linkin Park - combining elements of hip-hop, electronic, and blues rock alongside observational, insightful songwriting. The result is a high energy melting pot of sound that translates to an engaging and frantic live performance.

More on this band…

Haas Holiday- IDK

Release date: Nov 03, 2022

Genre: Hard Rock, Classic Rock, Garage Rock

The band has skills and shows off their talent well on this new single. This is a song about being lied to, realizing the truth, and being in disbelief. I love the raging guitars and driving beat. Together it just works. Great song.

More on this band…

Ionne - Me Alone

Release date: Sep 30, 2022

Released by: 5015 Records

Indietronica, Alternative Rock, Alt Pop

Similar artists: Muse, Queen, U2, Thom Yorke

An contemplation on loneliness and the need for human connection, the original words and music for "Me Alone" were penned by Adrienne Harris, Ionne's sister, who worked as a nurse in a COVID ward during the first wave of the pandemic. Maurice Lajuane Harris, professionally known as Ionne, is a US-based recording artist. Known for his artistic versatility and extensive musical range, Ionne transcends genre to create consistently beautiful and unique musical excursions.

More on this band…

Modern day Outlaw - March of the Sheep

This single starts with guitars blazing bringing all that we expect from an indie rock band today. With driving rhythms and signature gritty layers, March of the Sheep by Florida band Modern Day Outlaw checks all the most important rock boxes. This single is sure to delight rock music fans as this shiny penny flips elements of Metallica with Skynyrd into the air with a fresh luster. ‘March of the Sheep’ is the generalization that todays society faces in which many have stopped thinking for themselves and blindly follow what they believe to be true.

More on this band…

Greg Hoy & The Boys - Demons At Night

Music Genre: Rock Vibe: Fun, energetic, loud Located in: East Bay, California Sounds like: Van Halen, Cheap Trick, Motley Crue, Poison 'Demons At Night' by Greg Hoy & The Boys is a Classic Rock Gem

Greg Hoy & The Boys has smashed it out of the park with an 80’s rock anthem that pull influences from greats like Cheap Trick, Poison, and Van Halen. I love the energy and nostalgic feel of this release. This song is a reminder of the amazing harmonies and spectacular guitars classic rock always brought to the table. They have brought something special to us while honouring the genre with a well produced classic.

More on this band…

Cabela and Schmitt - Train Comin'

Music Genre:  Rock Vibe: Upbeat Nebraska and Colorado Sounds like: Imagine Dragons, Coldplay, The Beatles The song speaks to the possibility that our souls may be in jeopardy of being lost in the abyss and how we need to be aware of how we act and represent ourselves towards others.  Mixed and mastered by Sean Spence from Nashville, TN.

More on this band…

The Refusers - Eat the Bugs

Music Genre: Rock, punk, alternative Vibe: Edgy Located in: Seattle Sounds like: Greta Van Fleet, Black Keys, Foo Fighters, Rage Against The Machine, Bob Marley, Frank Zappa, the Clash.

You can count on The Refusers to challenge conformation in everything they do. If they have something new, get ready to pay attention as the message will no doubt be strong and well executed. ‘Eat The Bugs’ is a rather graphic blast against the establishment that challenges the very purpose of the wheel as we know it. It’s a song that will make you think more than the typical song requires and perhaps even change some minds through the journey.

More on this band…

Shamless Band Cancel Me

from the Less Is More EP Music Genre: Bluesy/Rock Vibe: Danceable/Rebel Located in: California

The Shameless Band first embarked on their musical voyage of discovery together as a tight-knit Music Band in 2019. But their origin goes back earlier to when the band members grew up listening to various musical genres that played an influential role in shaping their paths as musicians and ultimately led them to join forces. The lead single “Cancel Me” was inspired by various moments such as cancellation of world travel, face-to-face interaction and support, postponed weddings and graduations, and restrictions on celebrating life and honoring death. The song was written to empower the listener to push through and rise above the act of cancellation.

More on this band…

scxtty - Baseball Cards

Genre: Hip Hop

Similar artists: Mickey Darling, The Wrecks, Yungblud, Neon Trees.

Newest song off the EP. The ending is the best part when both male and female voices come together to form a huge sound wave.  I wrote this song two years ago and sent it to my friend who rewrote the lyrics. We formed this song about someone moving on very fast in a relationship and it explores both point of views the leaver and the left. Both feelings are accounted for and even yell at each other.

More on this band…

SONAFIDE - White Rabbit

Genre: Pop Punk, Indie Rock, Alternative Rock

Similar artists: jimmy eat world, fall out boy, the killers, panic! at the disco

‘White Rabbit’ by Sonafide takes it’s inspiration from Alice in Wonderland. The new pop punk music single is about wanting to find your own individuality & success in the face of others' own success, as well as learning to confront the failures and doubts that keep you from moving forward. Essentially it asks, "How am I supposed to be happy with myself?"--that question falls upon deaf ears, forcing the singer to come to their own self-realizations about who they are and what they want out of life.

More on this band…

Special Thanks to New Music Release Radar for supporting this show and featuring these artists on your Rock Music Playlist: <here>

PLAYLISTS

New Rock Music Release Radar Playlist :

NMRR

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6aW5hvv4I1wgeozPxJysl9?si=10899dcfe20f4384

Indie Rock Rising Playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3J1nglWkgQxAkj279XXq4P?si=cdfdaccf291f4f1c

Indie Music Spin features a great lineup of indie bands and singles you don’t want to miss. They update their site weekly with different flavors of music from quality creators. <here>

[nikkidiary-orangecatty]

꧁༺ Nikki’s Diary ༻꧂

꧁༺ Nikki’s Diary ༻꧂

P.1-4-7 :: [ Nikki Dress up • Chasing early summer ] 🏃🏻‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️🚴🏻‍♀️ 💪💪

For summer milk tea and ice cream.

Is there any cutie who wants to join the skipping team?

I bought skipping ropes that can be counted automatically.

Let’s exercise together

P.2-5-8 :: [ Nikki Dress up • Browse the Bookstore ] 📚🛍📕📙

A pleasant surprise to visit the bookstore

Well... This cat version of "The Scream" has a great style.

P.3-6-9 :: [ Nikki Dress up • Summer Soda ] 🥤🥤🌞☀️

Memories of summer, connected with different flavors of soda.

The ancient town under the sun is orange-flavored soda in a glass bottle, and the garden restaurant in the light rain is a berry-mint-flavored soda

Do you have memories of soda from your summer?

P.1-4-7 :: [ ไล่ตามฤดูร้อน ] 🏃🏻‍♀️🧘🏻‍♀️🚴🏻‍♀️ 💪💪

สำหรับชานมและไอศกรีมหน้าร้อน

มีคนน่ารักคนไหนอยากร่วมทีมกระโดดเชือกบ้าง?

ฉันซื้อเชือกกระโดดมา

มาออกกำลังกายด้วยกัน

[ 01.05.2021 ]

P.2-5-8 :: [ เดินดูร้านหนังสือ ] 📚🛍📙📕

เจอเซอร์ไพรส์ที่ร้านหนังสือ

เยี่ยม... "ตะโกน , 呐喊" เวอร์ชั่นแมวมีสไตล์ที่ยอดเยี่ยมที่สุด

[ 14.05.2021 ]

P.3-6-9 :: [ โซดาฤดูร้อน ] 🥤🥤🌞☀️

ความทรงจำของฤดูร้อนที่เชื่อมโยงกับรสชาติต่างๆ ของโซดา

เมืองโบราณใต้แสงแดดเป็นโซดารสส้มในขวดแก้ว และร้านอาหารในสวนท่ามกลางสายฝนโปรยปรายเป็นโซดารสเบอร์รี่-มินต์

คุณมีความทรงจำเกี่ยวกับโซดาจากฤดูร้อนของคุณหรือไม่?

[ 29.05.2021 ]

[boxeom]

Songs I Think JJK Characters Would Have On Their Simping Playlist For You [II]

| |Characters: Todo Aoi, Miwa Kasumi, Kamo Noritoshi, Zen'in Mai, Nishimiya Momo, Iori Utahime, Tsukomo Yuki, Choso.

| |A/N: This one didn't take as long since I did all of the characters at the same time- so this group was already well and ready. Don't be shy to comment which playlists are your favorite or which songs you think are fitting! I'd also love to see if you have any songs you think are accurate for the characters, too (I adore music, so I'm always up to listen to suggested songs)! [💮= Favorites]

| |Check Out: prt.I

💥Todo Aoi💥

💥"Ain't No Mountain High Enough" (Marvin Gaye ft. Tammi Terrell)

💥"Catch A Feeling" (Michi)

💥"Get You" (Daniel Caesar ft.Kali Uchis)

💥"Best Interest" (Tyler The Creator)

💥"Finally Know What Love Is" (Us The Duo)

💥"My Kind of Woman" (Mac Demarco)

💥"I'm Loving Your Vibe" (Xavier Goodman)

💥"Sing To You" (John Splithoff)

🌁Miwa Kasumi🌁 [💮]

🌁"Would You Be So Kind" (dodie clark)

🌁"Inner Child" (SATICA)

🌁"Bubbly" (Colbie Caillat)

🌁"Cliché" (mxmtoon)

🌁"LOVE" (Michael Bublé)

🌁"I Do Adore" (Mindy Gledhill)

🌁"If I Could Ride A Bike" (Chevy & Park Bird)

🌁"Reasons Why I Like You" (Abbey Glover)

🍵Kamo Noritoshi🍵

🍵"God Only Knows" (Beach Boys)

🍵"At My Worst" (Pink Sweat$)

🍵"Lows" (Pink Sweat$)

🍵"Can I" (Tedy)

🍵"When I Look Into Your Eyes" (Khai Dreams)

🍵"Blinding Lights" (The Weekend)

🍵"u know it's real" (Ant Saunders)

🍵"Pretty Thoughts" (George Barney Roberts)

🍭Zen'in Mai🍭 [💮]

🍭"Paper Hearts" (Tori Kelly)

🍭"Renee's Song" (Bazzi)

🍭"Please Be Mine" (Molly Burch)

🍭"Ever Since" (Lovey ft. D'est Roy)

🍭"I Fall In Love Too Easily" (Chet Baker)

🍭"I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend" (girl in red)

🍭"Coffee Breath" (Sofia Mills)

🍭"Stop Pretending" (Sara Diamond)

🍑Nishimiya Momo🍑 [💮]

🍑"Your Love Is My Drug" (Ke$ha)

🍑"Love You 3000" (Stephanie Poetri)

🍑"Dear Future Husband" (Megan Trainor)

🍑"No One" (Alicia Keys)

🍑"lowkey" (NIKKI)

🍑"i like you more than i thought" (maggery)

🍑"Hide n' Seek" (cehryl)

🍑"Can't Help Falling In Love" (Elvis Presley)

⚾Iori Utahime⚾ [💮]

⚾"Sugar Rush" (Addison Grace)

⚾"Like You'll Never See Me Again" (Alicia Keys)

⚾"Butterfly Rain" (Tori Templet)

⚾"Sports" (Beach Bunny)

⚾"Fly Me To The Moon" (Frank Sinatra)

⚾"Love On Top" (Beyoncé)

⚾"Love Me Like You Do" (Ellie Goulding)

⚾"The Truth" (India Arie)

💋Tsukomo Yuki💋

💋"Still Into You" (Paramore)

💋"Dream A Little Dream of Me" (Doris Day)

💋"iloveyou" (BETWEEN FRIENDS)

💋"My Type" (Saweetie)

💋"That's What I Like About You" (The Romantics)

💋"Honeypie" (Jawny)

💋"Lovefool" (The Cardigans)

💋"Rock With You" (Michael Jackson)

🖤Choso🖤

🖤"Ocean Eyes" (Billie Ellish)

🖤"Put Your Head On My Shoulder" (Paul Anka)

🖤"I Hear A Symphony" (Cody Fry)

🖤"Japanese Denim" (Daniel Caesar)

🖤"Is This Falling?" (Charile Bennet)

🖤"No Other Love" (Jo Stafford)

🖤"Something About You" (Cozy Collective, Farley, Blayne B.)

🖤"Halfway in Love" (Calub)

© Boxeom 2021- please refrain from copying, reposting or translating. DO NOT REPOST MY WORKS.

[phandomgiftexchange]

Hello Everyone!

I’d just like to gauge the interest of doing another holiday edition of the gift exchange! It would be great if you could reblog this around and send an ask or write a comment on this post if you’re interested. This will really help me to know if we have enough interest to do another round!

If you’re unfamiliar with the Phandom Gift Exchange, here’s a short rundown. We have done two rounds of this previously: a 2020 Holiday and 2021 Summer edition. It is basically a Secret Santa kind of exchange; the participants exchange many different kinds of phanworks (fic, art, gifs, moodboards, edits, playlists, etc.), and the recipients don’t know who is making their gift until the reveal day. Each participant gets to give prompts for their wanted gifts, and the admins match up the participants based on their prompts and what kinds of works they’d like to do.

Also, this isn’t as important, but how would people feel about a reveal day sometime after Christmas and before New Year’s (like the 27th-30th of December)? Or would it be better to do a reveal date before Christmas like most holiday events? Last year I believe we did it the weekend before Christmas, but that’s rather early this year because Christmas is on a Saturday. I’m thinking it would probably be a mid-week reveal date, like the 20th-23rd, if we were to do it before Christmas. Please just let me know what you guys would prefer!

~Nikki / @husbants

[amjustagirl]

I posted 2,540 times in 2021

1983 posts created (78%)

557 posts reblogged (22%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.3 posts.

I added 2,852 tags in 2021

#nikki chats! - 1546 posts

#nikki reblogs! - 171 posts

#nikki loves! - 168 posts

#haikyuu fluff - 156 posts

#haikyuu angst - 154 posts

#haikyuu x reader - 141 posts

#amjustagirl - 133 posts

#a sea of flowers in bloom - 132 posts

#haikyuu romance - 126 posts

#hq x reader - 125 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#mr nikki hallo will you eat melonpan and think of me when i die cos i will fking haunt you if you dare die on me first knncb

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Best friends to lovers with Tsukishima - 615 words of fluff 

“Your mother called again.”

Tsukishima just hums in acknowledgement, doesn’t even bother looking up from his emails. You huff an indignant breath through your nose, reach over to yank the wire to pull an earbud from his ear. 

“You’re not even going to ask me why she called?”

His eyes curve into half-moons, irritation washing over his features. “I’m going to visit her this weekend already. She can tell me what she wants then. If it’s truly important she’d drop me a text if I don’t call back.”

“Kei!” you cry, scandalised. “That’s your mom.”

He rolls his eyes, tugging his ear bud away from you. 

“Look, she probably called to talk about three things.” He raises a finger. “To make sure I’m eating and sleeping well - I’m not a child, I know how to take care of myself”. He raises another finger. “To remind me that I’m due home this weekend, which I already bought train tickets for”, he wriggles a third finger - “and to nag me to find a girlfriend, which is never going to happen, so she can forget about that.”

“Did I miss anything out?” 

He didn’t - these are exactly the things his mother chattered your ear off about this morning when he was out at work, and his smirk when you slump in defeat infuriates you, makes you want to tease him and wipe that satisfied expression off his face.

“Well, she did mention about setting you up on a blind date with some neighbour’s daughter -” 

“Never going to happen” he interrupts dismissively. “She should know by now to leave me alone, I’m busy.”

He is busy juggling work at the Sendai City Museum whilst fighting to maintain his spot as a starting middle blocker on the Sendai Frogs, balancing both his obsession with dinosaur bones with his no longer secret love for volleyball. You knew this when you met him in university, drawn into his orbit by Yamaguchi and Yachi, an unwitting addition to their trio once the sunny duo started dating, a fact that his mother has lamented about to you so many times after you’ve moved in with him and Yamaguchi after university. 

“You’re going to be left old and bitter and lonely if you don’t put yourself out there while you’re still young”, you tease. 

“I’m already old and bitter”, he deadpans. “And as if I’d ever be lonely with you and Yamguchi pestering me for the rest of my life.”

“I should occupy myself by going on more dates then”, you muse, tapping your chin. “That way I won’t be home so much to bother you.”

“Please don’t”, he snaps immediately. “Your taste in men is awful. I’ve had enough of you moping on the sofa when your dates don’t work out, it spoils my mood.” 

“Aww Kei”, you sing song, leaning over to flick his nose. “Are you jealous?” 

He doesn’t reply, swivelling his chair sharply back to his laptop, his typing increasing in volume and frequency. You know him well enough to recognise his tells. He’s frustrated - why? 

“Tsukki - “

“Look - you could do so much better, okay?” He states plainly, the tips of his ears turning pink. “You deserve better than those lying, cheating scumbugs you’ve been stupid enough to waste your time on and I don’t understand how you can’t see what’s before your very eyes, you blind bat.”

Typical Tsukki. You have to sieve through insults and complaints to unearth what he truly means, read between the lines to figure out how he truly feels. You’ve never thought you’d ever have a chance with your best friend, assuming he’d only see you as a friend and nothing more. 

You’re wrong. 

“Kei”, you say softly. “Would you say my taste in men is still awful if I ask you out instead?” 

He stops typing. 

“Maybe”, he says, trying to remain nonchalant, as he shoots you a shy smile. 

See the full post

800 notes • Posted 2021-07-02 14:15:31 GMT

#4

Tug of war 

pairing: miya atsumu x f!reader  genre: fluff, minor angst  warnings: none  wc: 3k+

m.list.~ taglist.~

a/n: haven’t been here in a while cos i’m still finishing my kita longfic (it’s coming along, i’ll be back soonish!) so i thought i’d drop this fic in the meantime :) this fic is a combination of the requests i got for my milestone event - (atsumu, declaration of love, childhood/best friends to lovers, argument) 

See the full post

837 notes • Posted 2021-07-06 06:23:26 GMT

#3

Summary: Sakusa Kiyoomi loses his wedding ring - Part 2

Part 1 here!

Pairing: Sakusa / f! reader

Genre: Unadulterated fluff

Wordcount: 600

Link to Masterlist

Previously: Sakusa Kiyoomi. Bokuto Koutaro. Kuroo Tetsuro. Akaashi Keiji. Ushijima Wakatoshi

See the full post

847 notes • Posted 2021-05-06 05:54:14 GMT

#2

Love knows not its depth (until the hour of separation) 

pairing: Kuroo x f! reader  genre: angst / fluff, post timeskip! warnings: a tiny smudge of suggestive content wc: 4.9k m.list ~ taglist. ~

a/n: this is my rendition of a grown up Kuroo. life has been a little hectic for me recently, so i’m only getting around to posting it now. pls be kind and i hope y’all love it <3 

See the full post

1231 notes • Posted 2021-05-12 13:02:49 GMT

#1

Summary: Sakusa Kiyoomi loses his wedding ring. 

Pairing: Sakusa / f! reader

Genre: Unadulterated fluff

Wordcount: 600

Link to Masterlist

Previously: Sakusa Kiyoomi. Bokuto Koutaro. Kuroo Tetsuro. Akaashi Keiji

Part 2 here!

See the full post

1361 notes • Posted 2021-04-22 06:35:13 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Dave Whamond

* * * * *

Time is Biden’s friend and Trump's enemy.

January 22, 2024

ROBERT B. HUBBELL

JAN 22, 2024

Trump's inexorable descent into incoherence and chaos continued apace over the weekend. Any moment now, it will become impossible for the media to ignore the spectacle. With Trump's rivals in both the primary and general elections highlighting Trump's inability to distinguish between his GOP primary opponent (Nikki Haley) and the former Democratic Speaker of the House (Nancy Pelosi), responsible media should be headlining the story.

They are not. Instead, it was up to Trump's political rivals to alert the American people to Trump's deteriorating condition.

What happened?

Over the weekend, Trump insisted that Nikki Haley was in charge of security at the Capitol on January 6, 2021. Haley was not at the Capitol on January 6 and, as a private citizen at the time, had no role in providing security for the Capitol. (Trump has previously falsely claimed that former Speaker Nancy Pelosi oversaw security at the Capitol on January 6.)

Nikki Haley went on the offensive on the Sunday talk shows, saying

 “I don’t know if he was confused, I don’t know what happened, but it’s enough to send us a warning sign.” “[I]f you have someone that is 80 in office, their mental stability is going to continue to decline. That’s just human nature.” [Trump is now] just not at the same level he was at 2016. I think we're seeing some of that decline.

The Biden campaign also went on the offensive, producing an ad that collected a dozen Trump nonsense statements, highlighting the most recent mental lapse. Biden released the ad on his Twitter account, saying “I don’t agree with Nikki Haley on everything, but we agree on this much: She is not Nancy Pelosi.”

The video is here: “We agree on this much: Nikki Haley is not Nancy Pelosi.” It is worth your time to watch—and is (hopefully) a harbinger of a tougher tone from the Biden campaign.

Although major media covered Trump's most recent mental lapse, they took the opportunity to repeat Trump's baseless claims against Biden. The NYTimes described Trump's mental lapse, and then pivoted to Biden:

“Nikki Haley was in charge of security [at the Capitol on January 6],” he said. (She was not.) “We offered her 10,000 people, soldiers, National Guards, whatever they want. They turned it down. They don’t want to talk about that.”

Mr. Trump, 77, often attacks President Biden, 81, over his age and suggests that Mr. Biden is mentally unfit for office. “He can’t put two sentences together,” Mr. Trump said on Friday. “Can’t put two sentences together. He needs a teleprompter.”

Gosh! It’s almost as if the NYTimes is running interference for Trump's deterioration. A similar lapse by Biden likely would have resulted in somber reporting based on speculation by unnamed “inside sources” about invoking the 25th Amendment to remove the president due to incapacity.

While the continued bias against Biden is maddening, time is Biden’s friend and Trump's enemy. The more Trump talks, the more obvious it becomes he is unfit for the presidency. His vocabulary is shrinking, his off-script remarks are descending into a stew of right-wing code words, and people are walking out of his rallies.

Here is a small sample from a speech on January 17 in New Hampshire:

We’re . . . going to place strong protections to stop banks and regulators from trying to debank you from your—you know, your political beliefs, what they do. They want to debank you, and we’re going to debank—think of this. They want to take away your rights. They want to take away your country. The things they’re doing. All electric cars.

On Sunday evening, Trump even mispronounced the name of his likely vice-presidential pick as “Elise Step-a-nack” (referring to GOP. Rep. Elise Stefanik). Again, the Biden-Harris campaign quickly released a video-clip of Trump mispronouncing Stefanik’s name.

Trump claims he will take the witness stand on Monday morning in the second defamation trial E. Jean Carroll. (The trial is about the amount of damages only.) It would be insane for Trump to take the stand. Judge Kaplan is a sharp, no-nonsense judge who will not allow Trump to ramble incoherently.

If Trump takes the stand, I predict he will storm out of the courtroom (from the stand) or be ejected by Judge Kaplan. Moreover, if Trump takes the stand, E. Jean Carroll will be able to introduce rebuttal evidence that she has chosen not to offer in her case in chief.

But Monday’s court proceeding is only the first of dozens of opportunities for Trump to self-immolate in the upcoming legal proceedings. And given that the Biden administration has finally taken the gloves off, the American people will get a clearer view of Trump's rapidly deteriorating mental state.

And there is widespread discussion on social media of other physical infirmities and ailments that are afflicting Trump. The major media has yet to report on those issues, so I will refrain from doing so until the rumors pass the fact-checking process in a major newsroom.

What’s next?

Democrats are understandably anxious about the attacks on Biden’s age. But he has risen to every occasion and passed every test. And he is a normal, decent, regular person. If you haven’t watched his recent interview with Conan O’Brien about Biden’s 1960s classic Corvette, you owe it to yourself to do so. Trump, on the other hand, is a narcissistic, hateful bully who views people as disposable objects to advance his interests.

In this campaign, time is on our side. Things are getting worse for Trump—and will continue to do so. Meanwhile, the economy continues to improve under Biden’s stewardship. So, let’s hunker down for the long fight ahead and recognize that we have the momentum, the better candidate, and the truth on our side.

Robert B. Hubbell Newsletter

[newstfionline]

Thursday, March 7, 2024

Biden and Trump dominate Super Tuesday races and move closer to a November rematch (AP) President Joe Biden and his predecessor, Donald Trump, romped through more than a dozen states on Super Tuesday, all but cementing a November rematch. Their victories from coast to coast, including the delegate-rich states of California and Texas, left little doubt about the trajectory of the race. Not enough states will have voted until later this month for Trump or Biden to formally become their parties’ presumptive nominees. But the primary’s biggest day made their rematch a near-certainty. Nikki Haley later withdrew from the race.

Businesses scramble for more workers (Bloomberg) Companies across America are scrambling for workers, making the same appeal they’ve made for years: admit more immigrants to ease a severe labor shortage and fill jobs Americans don’t want. Indeed, immigration may be one of the key reasons the US avoided a recession as it emerged from the pandemic. As migrants poured over the southern border during Covid’s upheaval, the influx may have been a potential solution to a shortage that, by the end of this decade, could lead to $1.75 trillion in unrealized economic output. All of a sudden, big cities were filled with people eager to work and start building their own version of the American dream. But in 2024 America, that is not how it’s playing out. The newcomers who qualify for work permits often struggle to secure them, because government bureaucracy has been overwhelmed. Business groups say the process is broken and are ramping up calls for changes to bring in more workers through legal channels. Jay Timmons, CEO of the National Association of Manufacturers, says he “can’t have a conversation with any business owner that doesn’t revolve around the fact that they simply cannot find the skilled workforce they need.” But their pleas aren’t being heeded in Washington, where lawmakers are scrambling instead to respond to inflamed anti-immigrant sentiment.

National Guard troops will patrol New York’s subway (NYT) Kathy Hochul, New York’s governor, announced today that she would deploy 750 National Guard soldiers and 250 personnel from the State Police and the M.T.A. to the New York City subway system, where they will patrol platforms and help check bags for weapons. The show of force, Hochul said, is intended to help commuters and visitors feel safer. The deployment will add to an already large presence in the subway, where Mayor Eric Adams ordered an additional 1,000 officers last month after a January spike in thefts. Violent crimes remain relatively rare, but three recent homicides have raised urgent questions about safety for many riders.

Haiti gang leader threatens 'civil war' if PM does not resign (Reuters) The gang leader behind the violence blighting the Haitian capital has warned there will be a "civil war" if Haiti's prime minister, Ariel Henry, does not step down. Jimmy "Barbecue" Chérizier made the threat as members of his gang tried to seize the capital's airport to stop Mr Henry from returning from abroad. Thousands have been displaced by the violence. Barbecue, who leads the powerful G9 gang alliance, said on Tuesday that "if Ariel Henry does not resign ... we'll be heading straight for a civil war that will lead to genocide". Haiti has been blighted by gang violence for years. But while Prime Minister Henry was on a visit to Kenya last week, Barbecue escalated the violence. Henry is now waiting to return in Puerto Rico after the airport attack.

Peru’s prime minister steps down after alleged audio leak (Reuters) Peruvian Prime Minister Alberto Otarola said on Tuesday he had tendered his resignation after an audio recording came out over the weekend purporting to be of the official attempting to improperly influence government contracts. Otarola told media the recording was made in 2021, when he was not a government official, and was manipulated and edited as part of a conspiracy by his political opponents. With Otarola’s departure, the other 18 cabinet members must now also resign, according to Peruvian law. President Dina Boluarte has the choice to reinstate each cabinet member or swap them out for a new minister.

King Charles’ diagnosis throws UK’s long cancer treatment waiting times into sharp relief (AP) For Anna Gittins, three months would have spelled the difference between life and death. The elementary school principal from Hereford in western England was shocked when she found out she had advanced colorectal cancer in 2022. But when she contacted her local hospital, she was told no one would be able to see her for three months “due to high demand and low capacity of senior doctors.” Gittins had access to private health care and has since undergone surgery and chemotherapy. “I consider myself so lucky, but there are so many people who will die needlessly when more prompt treatment would help them,” she said. Gittins is among thousands of people with cancer let down by Britain’s National Health Service, a once-revered institution now widely seen to be in acute crisis due to years of underfunding and staff shortages.

Shift in Russian Tactics Intensifies Air War in Ukraine (NYT) The Ukraine war has been fought largely on the ground in the past two years, with troops often locked in back-and-forth battles with heavy artillery and drone support. The countries’ air forces have played second fiddle because of Ukraine’s limited fleet of planes and Russia’s inability to gain the air supremacy it once expected. But as the Russian military presses on with attacks in the east, its air force has taken on a greater role. Military analysts say Russia has increasingly used warplanes near the front lines to drop powerful guided bombs on Ukrainian positions and clear a path forward for the infantry. That tactic, used most notably in Avdiivka, the strategic eastern city captured by Russian forces last month, has yielded good results, experts say. It has also come with risks. The Ukrainian Army last week said it had shot down seven Su-34 fighter jets, nearly all operating in the east, just a few days after downing an A-50 long-range radar reconnaissance aircraft. It was, according to Ukrainian officials, part of a series of successful strikes against the Russian Air Force, in which Ukraine claimed to have shot down 15 planes in as many days.

Maldives competition for influence (NYT) Between a few flecks of coral in the Indian Ocean, a ribbon of highway more than a mile long swoops up from the blue. Since 2018, the China-Maldives Friendship Bridge has connected this archipelago’s hyper-dense capital, Malé, and the international airport—expanded by Chinese companies—one island to the east. But China is not alone in chasing friendship with the Maldives. A 20-minute walk across the capital, next to Indira Gandhi Memorial Hospital, an even longer sea bridge will link Malé with islands to the west. This one is being built by Indian workers, with money from India. The Maldives, a tiny tourism-dependent country of 500,000 people, barely registers as a blip alongside India and China, the world’s most populous nations. Yet every blip counts in the two giants’ competition for influence across South Asia.

Hostage crisis poses dilemma for Israel (AP) Over the last five months, Israel has killed thousands of Hamas fighters, destroyed dozens of their tunnels and wreaked unprecedented destruction on the Gaza Strip. But it still faces a dilemma that was clear from the start of the war and will ultimately determine its outcome: It can either try to annihilate Hamas, which would mean almost certain death for the estimated 100 hostages still held in Gaza, or it can cut a deal that would allow the militants to claim a historic victory. Either outcome would be excruciating for Israelis. Either would likely seal an ignominious end for Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s long political career. And either might be seen as acceptable by Hamas, which valorizes martyrdom.

U.S. floods arms into Israel despite mounting alarm over war’s conduct (Washington Post) The United States has quietly approved and delivered more than 100 separate foreign military sales to Israel since the Gaza war began Oct. 7, amounting to thousands of precision-guided munitions, small diameter bombs, bunker busters, small arms and other lethal aid, U.S. officials told members of Congress in a recent classified briefing. The triple digit figure, which has not been previously reported, is the latest indication of Washington’s extensive involvement in the polarizing five-month conflict even as top U.S. officials and lawmakers increasingly express deep reservations about Israel’s military tactics in a campaign that has killed more than 30,000 Palestinians, according to Gaza’s health authorities. The transactions, known in government-speak as Foreign Military Sales or FMS were processed without any public debate because each fell under a specific dollar amount that requires the executive branch to individually notify Congress, according to U.S. officials and lawmakers who, like others, spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss a sensitive military matter.

Millions of Sudanese go hungry as war disrupts food supply (Reuters) A mother who skips meals so there is enough food for her two children. A 60-year-old man who eats one meal a day—a lump of dough made of flour and water. People venturing out from their homes in a desperate search for food at the risk of being hit by artillery shells. Dozens of accounts like these gathered by Reuters show how many people are going hungry in parts of Sudan worst hit by the war that erupted last April, including areas in the capital Khartoum and in the western region of Darfur. The number of Sudanese facing emergency levels of hunger—one stage before famine—has more than tripled in a year to almost five million. In Sudan’s capital, hundreds of thousands of people face a daily struggle to find food as communal kitchens they depend on are threatened by dwindling supplies and a communications blackout across much of the country in recent weeks. In Darfur, some areas haven’t received any aid since the Sudanese military and the Rapid Support Forces (RSF), a paramilitary, went to war almost a year ago.

In South Africa, where the buffaloes roam is sometimes a problem (AP) Where the buffaloes roam can be a problem in South Africa. Two buffaloes were spotted walking down the middle of a major highway on Saturday night on the outskirts of the country’s biggest city, Johannesburg, as cars and trucks whizzed past. Some startled motorists took pictures and videos on their phones. City authorities have decided they need to be caught and moved as soon as possible because of the danger presented by the sharp-horned bovines, which can each weigh up to 800 kilograms (1,760 pounds) and are notorious as fairly grumpy and unpredictable. The buffaloes disappeared soon after their highway stroll, but security and risk assessment company Bidvest Protea Coin helped authorities hunt them down with a helicopter armed with an infrared camera.

He Who Has Earbuds, Let Him Hear: Audio Bibles on the Rise (Christianity Today) The Word of God never returns void—even if you listen to it in traffic, at the gym, or while folding laundry. A growing number of Bible resources give listeners the chance to engage with Scripture through their headphones, with new platforms and audio versions making it easier to access Bible reading throughout the day. Creators and fans say that even without putting eyes to the page, they’re able to read more Scripture and be spurred to deeper study. The rise of audio Bible resources corresponds with a broader listening trend as people increasingly rely on their smartphones for information and entertainment. Americans are three to four times more likely to listen to podcasts than they were a decade ago, according to Pew Research Center.

[ellaenchanting]

Hypnovember 2020 Master List

Now that I have awoken from my post-Hypnovember nap, it’s time to post my 2020 Master List! in comparison to last year’s entries, a lot of stories this year delved more into either more intense kinks or more of my intense personal feelings than my stories last year did. Sometimes writing stories is a bit like reading my own tarot cards in that way- letting an ambiguous prompt roll around in my subconscious and sometimes being surprised or amused or even slightly unsettled by what it turns into. I hope you will find something in this group of works that soothes you, that turns you on, that intrigues you, and that most of all provokes a response. If you do, I’d absolutely love to hear about it. :)

Copying one of my favorite @jukeboxemcsa  ideas, I’ve also included a HypnoBS rating for every work about how realistic the hypnosis/mind control is in each work (IMHO). In this ranking, 1 means to is absolute bullshit and 5 is a normal Tuesday night (for someone).

Icons- 📰- story. 🔊- audio 💻- technology 😍- romantic 🌈- queer 😴- regular ole’ hypnosis 🛀- brainwashing and/or character in tub 👻- spooky 🐈- at least one happy pussy ❓- bad or reeeally questionable consent 👨‍🔬 -science! 🤪 -crackfic #-#sceneideas 😭-feeeels ⭐-author’s personal favorites

Day 1: Instant M/f 📰 😴🐈#😭

Choice quote: “Sean chuckled as he moved in closer. And closer. ‘I thought you wanted to know what it was like to be hypnotized, sweetheart. To follow suggestions? To have someone else take control? It’s not real control if I’m doing something you already wanted, now is it?”

HypnoBS- 5. Read the whole thing but- IMHO totally plausible.

Fun Fact- These are the same characters from last year’s Day 5: Poison.

Day 2: Coils F/m 📰 😴 💻 👨‍🔬

Choice quote: “Daniel rolled his eyes. ‘I bet you could hypnotize me with a bar of soap if you wanted to. That still doesn’t make me like spirals.’”

HypnoBS- 5. Maybe 4 because I don’t love the induction but- maybe you will? Also- oh no poor Daniel is so conditioned that he’ll go under to anything Jamie does! How hard for him. :(

Day 3: Staged Hypnosis (Stage) F/f 📰 😴 🌈 🛀 ❓

Choice quote: “No one needed to know she was a plant. A confederate. A stooge.”

HypnoBS- 1.5. This would collapse like a house of cards. It’s a fun concept though.

Day 4: Psychic F/nb 📰 😴 🌈 😍 👨‍🔬⭐

Choice quote: “Something about the hypnosis- being in and out of each other’s heads and in and out of each other’s bodies all weekend- made her feel like she and Tris had merged in some way. Like there was a new, deeper understanding between them now- a telepathic bond.”

HypnoBS- 5. Maybe a 4.5 if you’re recognizing some nre magical thinking here. But- I’ve definitely had this feeling and this kind of experience- and I hope some of you have had it/will have it as well. :)

Day 5: Visor F/multiple 📰 😴 🛀 💻 👨‍🔬 🤪#

Choice quote: “Besides, everyone knew stormtroopers were kinky.”

HypnoBS- 4.5. Some of the exact details would need to be changed and thought through more thoroughly, but I absolutely believe you could do something like this if you wanted to. (And if you do, you definitely have to let me know. I know some of y’all out there go to Dragoncon.)

Day 6: Pendulum F/y’all 🔊😴 👨‍🔬

Choice quote: This is a trick I first learned from a science book I read in 5th grade.

HypnoBS- 5. The real thing.

Day 7: Song Aliens/the human race 📰 💻 👻❓

Choice quote: “Anna didn’t know what she was singing.”

HypnoBS- 1. I hope. Why do the song based stories always turn out so creepy?

Day 8: Performance unknown/f 📰 👻❓😴# ⭐

Choice quote: “With each snap, the gears inside her doll body click click click clicked into action. She turned, jerky but graceful. She was determined to do well. “

HypnoBS- 5 (if part of a fearplay scene, which is my headcanon for this story)

Day 9: (Hot Under the) Collar F/f 📰 😴🛀🌈 🐈#⭐

Choice quote: “She was wearing her collar. She was aroused. It was as simple as that.“

HypnoBS- 5 With time, I think you could do this. Maybe a 4.5 for the 30 minutes thing- that might lead to a bit too much cramping.

Day 10: Gentle 🔊😴

Choice quote: “Just look into the spiral....”

HypnoBS- 5. I hope.

Day 11: Summoning Sappho (Summon) eventual F/f I hope 📰 😴🌈 🤪

Choice quote: “In fact, the only ideas left to try on their brainstorming board included ‘sexy alien invasion’, ‘sexy witches’, and this. Shockingly, at this point a sexy seance seemed the most practical.”

HypnoBS-1. Although stay tuned for Femme Flirt 2021.

Day 12: Plants unknown/m 📰 😴🛀#

Choice quote: “If he focused, Chris could feel that new suggestion also growing stronger and stronger, becoming more and more firmly rooted inside of him. “

HypnoBS- 5, with the right person

Day 13: Artifact F/f 📰 😴🛀🌈 👨‍🔬 ❓

Choice quote: “She fumbled through the contents when suddenly her hand found something unexpected from her past.A red lipstick tube. An artifact.”

HypnoBS- 4? There’s different ways of reading this story, but my headcanon is that the consent here is pretty dubious.

Day 14: Tail M/f 📰 😴🛀❓👻#

Choice quote: “It was no use. She could sense her tail was still behind her. She couldn’t shake him. She should have known he’d come for her.“

HypnoBS- Let’s say 2. Although I think this could work really well for a fearplay scene in an appropriate setting (where someone wasn’t actually left unmonitored with extreme paranoia).

Day 15: Serve F/m 📰 😴#⭐

Choice quote: “He had put his heart and soul into the dish.They were hers now.”

HypnoBS- As a scene? 5 (depending on the person). As a long term effect, much lower.

Day 16: Memory F/f  📰 😴 🛀🌈 😍

Choice quote: “Mesmera waited for Galaxy Girl at the door.”

HypnoBS- 4, you could do an induction along these lines but -1 for psychic powers

Fun Fact: These characters were originally featured in last year’s Day 19: Hideout. 

Day 17: Toy F/f m/f 📰 😴 🛀🌈🐈 #

Choice quote: “Dolly hated to have Bad Manners. “

HypnoBS- 4.5. This is pretty deep into headspace, but I wouldn’t want to rule it out for the right person.

Day 18: Monster m/f 📰 😴 ❓😭⭐

Choice quote: “That kind of stuff wasn’t fair to think about here. It wasn’t everyone else’s fault that she was so warped.”

HypnoBS- 5. Ouch my heart. Poor young!Ella.

Day 19: Eyes M/m 📰 😴 🌈 😍

Choice quote: “Scott looked into his partner Brandon’s eyes. Brandon had hypnotized him so many times over the years in so many ways but- this was one of Scott’s favorites.”

HypnoBS- 5. Especially in a long term relationship like this. (In my pretend Hypnovember universe, these guys are some of the patriarchs of the hypnokinky convention scene and absolutely wonderful advice givers.)

Fun fact: The story of how these characters originally got together is in last year’s Day 12: Stage story. 

Day 20: Possession F/f  📰 😴 🌈 😍😭

Choice Quote- “Things that were hard to do for herself during these times became easier to do as something owned by Thadra. Taking a shower. Getting up and going to bed at the right time. Making sure she ran once a day. Making sure she ate.”

HypnoBS- Errr....4 trending upwards. Although for this to be safe and healthy you’d really need to be checking in with a therapist and working on your continuing mental health at the same time (IMHO). Please do not get relationship advice from my porn.

Day 21: Snaps 🔊😴👨‍🔬

Choice Quote- “No, that one was up.”

HypnoBS- 5. I’m not sure quite how this translates to audio but this is the kind of shenanigans I pull with friends all of the time.

Day 22: Restrict  F/f 📰 😴 🌈 🐈👨‍🔬 

Choice quote: “’Hmm. By ‘weird’ do you mean ‘hot’?’ asked Zahara, lounging above her on the couch. Nikki nodded. She definitely meant hot. “

HypnoBS- 2. A month is a long time and this is a strong reaction. But- maaaaaybe would work for a bit, especially within these boundaries?

Day 23:  Villain there’s a m and a f  📰 🛀👨‍🔬❓#

Choice quote: “They had been planning against that damned do-gooder reporter Lizzy Lampost for months and now they were about to finally have her in their clutches. “

HypnoBS-1. But you’re not reading this one for realism, are you?

Day 24: Drink F/f 📰 😴👨‍🔬🌈 😍

Choice quote: “’Leah,’ she said. ‘I’ve found a drinking game! This might be fun! Want to try it?’”

HypnoBs- 5. With the right person. (That part of the end might be a bit harder.)

Day 25:Worship: F/m 📰 🛀🌈 

Choice quote: “After all, it wasn’t the time to work right now. It was time to worship his Mistress’s cock.”

HypnoBS- Someone on AO3 told me this fic just wrecked them. Lucky that person- this one’s a 5. Maybe not with everyone, but an awful lot of people should be able to do an awful lot of the activities in this story. :)

Day 26: Fey M/f 📰😴 😭⭐

Choice quote: “Humans do not know the spells they weave.”

HypnoBS- 1 Only true in that metaphorical way. (So- really, really true. But not factual.)

Day 27: Recording F./m 📰 🛀❓👻#

Choice quote: “It’s a recording, he reminded himself. “She’s not there. No one is there.”

HypnoBS- 2 At least, I don’t know how to make this happen (outside of a consensual scene).

Day 28: Obsession M/F 📰 🛀😍👨‍🔬

Choice quote: “Some guys had cars. Some had computer systems. Some had home brewing. But Mark’s obsession was Julia.“

HypnoBS- Oh gosh. Errr...2.5? Hard to say. 

Fun Fact: This started as a one-sided scenario, then it changed, then it felt really hot, now it feels like a sweet silly sitcom premise. (If you want to read some episode synopses of this hypothetical sitcom, there are some brilliant ones here! Also- feel free to send me more!)

Day 29: Helpless F/m 📰😴😍

Choice quote: “’I want to be helpless,’ he replied. Juan felt his headspace changing. He threw himself into that feeling, trusting Josie to take the reins.“

HypnoBS- 5. Not a scene log, but pretty much How I Top.

Day 30: Awaken 🔊😴👨‍🔬

Choice quote: “Aaaaaand-awaken!”

HypnoBS- 5 Hypnotist BS- also a 5

Thank you all for reading these! Thank you especially to everyone who reblogged, wrote me comments, and generally supported me through this past month. I’m going to specifically single out @daja-the-hypnokitten​, @wellgnawed​, and @spiralturquoise​ for the encouragement- y’all are the best. :)  I know this is a long post, but I’d really appreciate reblogs of it!

Also, I didn’t have time to contribute myself but- if you donate to Hypnokink for Trans Lives, let me know and I’ll write you an epilogue for any of these stories that you choose. 

[nikkidiary-orangecatty]

꧁༺ Nikki’s Diary ༻꧂

꧁༺ Nikki’s Diary ༻꧂

I tried my best to save it, and it looks cuter than expected 😺😺

ฉันพยายามอย่างสุดความสามารถที่จะเก็บรักษามันไว้ และมันก็ดูน่ารักกว่าที่คิด 😺😺

[ 25.04.2021 ]

[adventuresofarainbowcrip]

Disabled cat mom life : Caring for my new kitten while having a physical disability! ^..^

Written and posted on December 24th, 2021 :

It’s been just a little over a month since I adopted my kitten Ellie. I knew I wanted to get a cat when I moved out, but I also knew that I wanted to wait a while, until I was settled in and confident in taking care of myself. Life happened and I was sort of putting it off.  Around mid-October, my brother began reminding me that if I really wanted to get a cat, I should probably contact the management and ask about the form I’d turned in back in August. Now, I’m super grateful that he pushed me gently to do this because I would not have found Ellie otherwise. The form I gave to my apartment is a form signed by my doctor which states that having a cat as an emotional support animal will help me with my anxiety. This is the only way that tenants are allowed to own pets at my apartment building. Once I checked in and made sure that this form was going to the right place, it was time to start looking for a kitty! 

I knew I wanted a black and white “splotchy kitty.” At first I was looking at cats that were black and white spotted. There is a cat named Domino who lives by my parents’ house and she is black and white, like a cow with a splotchy nose. I  found Ellie’s profile by chance and thought her face and little nose was so cute! Even though she looked to be a tuxedo cat, I still thought she was very cute. I put in the application that weekend, and within about 10 days I was making the trek to Tillamook, Oregon, a town near the coast about two hours away. My mentor Nikki and I drove out to get her. 

Her first couple of days with us, she was scared. On the first night, she hid most of the time, and cried a lot. But after about two days, she started to be less afraid and now she loves living with us! She is a very social cat, she enjoys being petted and picked up and likes to sit on your lap if you are on the couch. She is very playful and curious. My brother taught her how to fetch, and now she is so good at it! She sometimes drops the ball right into our hand. 

Here is some of what I have learned about having my own cat and also about caring for a cat with a physical disability. 

1) Ellie has helped me a lot with my mental and physical health.

I wasn’t doing badly when I got Ellie, but now I am doing even better. She helps me because now when I wake up, instead of thinking about how I feel physically right away (how bad are my allergies today? Do I have a headache / stomachache?) I say good morning to her and she makes me smile. I now have to care for another living being besides myself, which gets me out of my own mind and body. I talk less about how I don’t feel good, because I am less focused on that. Ellie also helps me feel calmer, and helps me with anxiety. Petting her and playing with her is fun and calming. Animals help to lower human blood pressure which is amazing. 

2) Ellie has adjusted to my mobility equipment and even likes it!

I have grown up with many cats but they were mostly adults when we got them and they were not often around my scooter because I kept it in our neighbor’s garage outside. When Ellie first arrived, she was nervous about my canes and walker and scooter. After a few days, she started following me around and rubbing on my canes. Now she sometimes tries to play with them like toys. I’d much rather that than her be afraid of them. She is now used to my walker as well and likes to climb on it and in my basket (see photos below)! She likes to climb on my scooter as well now. She even climbed on it last week while it was on...I was going super slow and took her for a little ride. I am still trying to teach her to be cautious of it when it’s moving, I would hate to hurt her by accident. 

3) She seems to understand that my body is different in some way.

Ellie is very playful, and will sometimes jump up onto my brother’s pant leg when she is feeling energetic. She does this to him probably a few times a week. In contrast, she has only done this to me twice I think. I was holding onto something and was fine, but I could be knocked off balance if I wasn’t holding onto something.  It seems like she understands in some way that I am not someone who she can jump on. Maybe it is in part because I almost always have some mobility equipment around me, and that makes my body “less accessible” to her. But I also think that she just knows somehow. My mom used to tell me that if I ever decided to have kids, that they would see my mobility equipment as a part of my life, and they would learn for example, that I cannot run after them and to listen to my words more. I don’t know if I will ever have or adopt kids, but I have been around lots of young kids and seen them get used to my mobility devices. Ellie just sees these things as part of my life, and part of the way I move, which is very cool.

4) I can do most things for Ellie, but it’s okay to ask for help!

I happen to have enough mobility so that I can do most things for my cat. I feed her, play with her, scoop her litter. The reality is that, because of my balance (or lack of it) and other mobility differences, I have to have help with certain things.  like carrying very heavy boxes of cat litter, changing the litter, filling her water bowl, clipping her nails (a two-person job) or giving her medicine. My mentor helped me clip her nails (I held Ellie while she clipped). Hopefully soon I can try clipping her nails while someone hold her. My brother helps me change her water and change the litter. He holds open a trash bag while I pour the old litter out, and helps to pour new litter in. I figured out that I can fill up her water by pouring some of the water out of my water bottle into her bowl. 

5) This is just a general thing I’ve realized, not specific to having a pet while being disabled. Pet supplies are expensive! 

I have never cared for a cat fully on my own before, so I didn’t really have any idea of how much things cost. Toys, litter box, cat trees... it adds up. The litter I buy is around 16 dollars for a large 40 pound box. I have decided to change the litter every two weeks, scooping litter every couple of days and adding a bit more. I am feeding Ellie a mixture of dry food and wet food. Her dry food is a mixture of cheaper food (my mom calls it Twinkies for cats haha) and more expensive food that cost 13 dollars a bag. I still have about half a bag left of the fancier food. I buy a canned cat food on the cheaper end called Fancy Feast that comes in lots of flavors. I am still trying to figure out ways to save money and still take good care of her. Luckily I found a place that will spay her for 60 dollars (as opposed to the 600 dollar estimates I was given by vet clinics in my area! Outrageous. No one should have to pay that much. 

That being said, it is totally worth it to spend some of my money to care for such a lovely little companion. I love her so much already and I am so happy and grateful that I found her. Her full name is Eleanor Elvira Domino Flooreo Fairbanks. I can tell that she loves me too and that is a wonderful feeling. 

Do you have any kind of disability and have a pet or pets? How do they help you and how do you care for them while being disabled?

[welcometophu]

The Meaning of Home, Chapter 1

The Meaning of Home Chapter 1

Tags for all Welcome to PHU novels will be available at the PHU tag list on Pillowfort. This list is under construction as of Sept. 5, 2021.

[ First | Next ]

Even knowing that he’ll see him at the end of the trip, it’s strange for Pawel to be driving to his childhood home without Conor in the car. Usually his son would be requesting music changes, playing videos so loud that Pawel could hear them even with Conor’s headphones in place, or generally talking up a storm. Even after cranking the radio up to fill the silence, Pawel feels alone in a way he hasn’t felt in a long, long time.

He can’t blame it entirely on Conor. Yes, as a single father he hasn’t had much, if any, time to himself in the last nine years. But this past academic year has been chaos to the point where it seems strange not to have one of his students in the car as they head off to save the world.

Students, yes, but he’s not that much older than most of them. Some of them are friends as well.

Rest. Take the summer and rest.

The voice in his mind sounds suspiciously like Mac, and he hears Carolyn’s soft, aggravated huff not long after as she adds, Get normal amounts of sleep. Take a shower. Eat real food.

Spend time with your kid, imaginary Mac adds.

Great. He’s back to being that only child who used to have conversations with invisible friends, except now, as an adult, it’s advice about self-care from real people who aren’t even here.

The thing is, they’re not wrong. He knows he has a tendency to focus intently on the one most important thing at hand and tune out everything else. Since fall semester—for the first time in nine years—that wasn’t Conor, and he still feels guilty about that. He feels the kind of guilty that means there are two brand new games for Conor’s handheld system in a bag on the back seat, along with a cooler holding freshly butchered grass-fed bison steaks as a thank you for his father for helping him out.

Pawel exhales.

Maybe he’s having a little trouble letting go of the chaos. In a way, it felt good to be busy. To fix things.

They saved the world.

Nobody knows it, but it happened. And Pawel knows, so he should be satisfied with a job well-done.

The question is: what can he do now?

Rest.

For all that they’re imaginary, the voices of his students are right, and he knows this. It’s just hard to let it all go, to accept that the chaos has ended and he can do that. But he’s clean-shaven, and his hair is neatly trimmed, even if he didn’t go back to his buzz cut. He looks older in the mirror than he remembers being when the school year began. He might even look his age, which would go a long way to gaining respect from incoming freshmen in the fall.

He just needs something to do with himself while on vacation over the summer.

Maybe his old dojang would let him step into a taekwondo class or two while he’s visiting Dad. It’d be nice to be the student rather than the instructor for once.

You couldn’t let go of control that much.

“Shut up.” He says it as if imaginary Mac would even listen.

One song ends, and for a second, the silence in the car echoes before the next song begins.

This isn’t working.

He reaches out to touch the button on his radio dash for the phone, then presses Mac’s number from his contact list.

“Aren’t you with your family?” She starts speaking without bothering to greet him.

He adjusts the volume so that her voice isn’t quite so loud. “Hello to you, too. I’m almost there now. It’s quiet in the car. No Conor. Not even any grouchy almost adults grumbling about saving the world, or muttering about sparring.”

Mac snorts softly. “I’m only a few years younger than you, Pawel. And out of us all, Rory’s probably got the oldest soul. I take it you’re bored?”

“A little,” he admits. “Pels’s family moved into the house on Friday, then left for Burlington. As far as I know, everything’s gone well up there; they weren’t back before I left the house today. Anita’s got my number in case she needs anything for the house while they’re renting it out this summer. Traffic’s been decent, so I’m maybe fifteen minutes from my Dad’s house now, and the silence is killing me. How’s your summer break going?”

There’s a delay before Mac replies, and her voice sounds determinedly cheerful when she does. “It’s a break. I’m thinking about my research, and the fact that my advisor is in Italy until the end of June and told me I can’t work without him there. Which means Mom thought I should come home for a while, and right now things are… awkward… with me and Dad. So. There’s that.”

When Mac says it, Dad means Senator Delwin Palmer. Pawel knows what that meant to Mac as a part of a secret government training program for Talented children, before she came to PHU. He knows that everything they learned about the government involvement in the creation of the soul-destroying Shadows has only made her relationship with her stepfather more difficult.

He makes a small noise. “Are you going back to PHU soon?”

“Mid June, so I’ll be here about three weeks. I’m going to take my brother to the festival when Rory and Thorne are in DC in a couple of weeks, and I’m spending most of my time in the museums and libraries in DC until then.” She exhales. “I’ve thought about going to see my father, but I think that’ll be the weekend that I drive back up to PHU. I’ll just stop in to visit him in the city while he’s got some time off work.” Mac hesitates, her words more forceful when she asks, “How long are you planning on staying with your dad?”

Fine, Pawel will accept the change of topic, changing conversational directions at the same time as he takes the exit into town that will lead to his childhood home.

Sort of. It’s not the same house he grew up in, but it’s close to the same neighborhood.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I’m on leave for the summer. It’s not a sabbatical—they don’t do that for less than a year, and right now they won’t let me go for a whole year until the department has more experienced faculty. But it’s a paid leave and I’m supposedly researching my next book. The thing is, Dad doesn’t have a lot of space since he moved into the retirement community. I’m going to be crashing on his couch. Conor’s got the bed in the guest room.”

“Sounds great for your back.” Mac laughs. “You’ll probably still sleep better than you did for most of the spring.”

“Probably,” Pawel agrees. “I think—” He stops abruptly, because that makes it sound like he has a plan in place. “I’m going to play it by ear. Conor’s made friends there, although he’s clearly missing Alan and home, too. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to just stop trying to fix things and take a break. Including a voice in my head that sounds suspiciously like you.”

“Good to know my voice has infected your brain, like the way I hear yours saying ‘commit to the kick’ whenever I’m sparring and going for that head kick against a much taller opponent,” Mac says dryly.

“They’re all taller than you.” Pawel takes a series of turns, remembering to turn left instead of right at the critical intersection. He slows down; there’s no one else on the road behind him to annoy, and he’s not quite ready to arrive yet.

Mac sputters. “Rude.”

“True.”

“Fine. True,” she agrees. “Taekwondo is a sport for tall people. I’m just a good jumper, and before you say it, no, I’m not teleporting to get there. Most of the time.”

He rolls down the road towards a four-way stop. There’s a sign across the way proclaiming the entrance to Hart Acres. If he turned left, he could make his way to the police station where his dad works, and right would loop him back behind his old neighborhood.

Straight takes him into his dad’s new life in a retirement village where half the people who live there aren’t actually retired. His dad’s been living there for a year, and Pawel’s not sure when he’ll finally step down as Police Chief. He likes his work far too much to give it up.

Dad says it’s easier to keep working when he doesn’t have to worry about the little things like mowing the lawn. Hart Acres takes care of that for him.

Pawel’s pretty sure Dad’s going to work until he has both feet in the grave, and then he might just keep going.

“Hey.” Mac’s voice is low. “Did I lose you?”

Right. He was having a conversation.

“I’m just about there,” Pawel admits. “There’s an old lady walking her fluffy dog down the street. I guess I should hang up. Focus on finding the place and not hitting the two people that are in the middle of the road having a conversation.”

No exaggeration. Now that he’s pulled into Hart Acres and is following the first traffic circle he encounters around to the second exit, there are small knots of people gathered everywhere. Including two smack dab in the middle of one of the side streets.

They see him looking and lift their hands in cheerful synchronized waves.

“I am really not ready to see my dad as the kind of guy who needs to be surrounded by old people looking for a social life,” Pawel mutters. He makes a disgruntled noise when Mac snickers.

He’s in front of the house before he can say anything else.

“Go,” Mac says. “Hug Conor for me, and tell him to work hard. He’s still in school, right?”

“Another three weeks, yeah,” Pawel says. “I might take him out for a day on Friday to head up to Buffalo for Rory and Thorne’s tour, though. It’s a holiday weekend, so maybe the school has the day off—they do weird things with snow days sometimes. Although the weather was strange this winter and they might not have the extra days.”

“Nikki would apologize if you need her to,” Mac says. She’s quiet for a moment. “Hey. You really should take the time to rest. Let your dad be the parent for a little while. Enjoy being home, and with your family. You don’t have anything you need to save right now. The world isn’t ending. Just have fun for the summer.”

“Only if you promise me that you’ll rest, too,” he responds. He wants to say that he understands that it’s not that easy. He understands that talking to Delwin Palmer is going to be complicated, and that putting herself back in that environment only brings the PTSD out in full force. “You can always call me if you need someone to talk to.”

“I’ll let you know when I’m back in the area,” she says. “Maybe we can get together and spar. I’m taking a break from organized classes while I’m home.”

Her old dojang isn’t full of happy memories like Pawel’s is.

“Sure, we can do that.” He catches movement out of the corner of his eye; the door to his father’s unit nudges open. “Conor’s coming out. I need to go.”

“Bye, Pawel. Rest.”

“I will,” he promises.

The music blares for a moment after she hangs up; he turns the key and silences it. He manages to get out of the car as Conor races around it and slams into him, hugging him hard. Pawel wraps his arms around him, and exhales as he feels the familiar crackle of Conor’s magic around him.

“I missed you,” Pawel murmurs. His hand is between Conor’s shoulder-blades, and it feels higher than it used to rest in this same position. “Did you grow in the last two months?”

“An inch since he arrived.” Dad stands on the lawn next to a girl about Conor’s age that Pawel doesn’t recognize. Her mouth is pinched and her brows furrowed. She has her arms crossed tight across her chest as she leans forward, a myriad of braids falling forward across her shoulders and down her back. Dad puts a hand on her shoulder, and she straightens up, shoulders relaxing. “I started a growth door for him here. We’ll need to get a mark on it for you so he can see what he’s aiming for.”

There was a piece of trim in Pawel’s childhood house that had marks for every few months of his age, from toddlerhood to adulthood. He wonders if the new owners painted over the careful notes made in his mother’s hand, and the messier ones his father wrote after she passed away.

“I had Dziadziu put Emma on the door, too.” Conor slips from Pawel’s hold and grabs his hand, dragging him towards Dad and the girl who still watches warily. “This is Emma. She’s in my class, and she’s a Weather Witch, and she’s my friend. We’re both new here. She’s talked to Alan with me.”

“I know they’re married,” Emma says with a heavy sigh and an eyeroll. “Conor’s not my boyfriend. I don’t want a boyfriend.”

“You say that like people have been trying to tell you that you can’t be friends because you’re a boy and a girl.” Pawel stops in front of her and holds out his hand solemnly. “Hello, Emma. I’m Pawel. And don’t worry, I understand that most people are full of shit. Right now my best friend is a girl and I can assure you I have no romantic intentions towards her whatsoever. And if I did, she might kick me in the balls.”

Dad makes a strangled sound.

Emma tilts her head, brow still furrowed. “I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t say that people are full of shit.” She takes his hand and looks at their joined hands in some confusion, then drops it again. “But you’re right. They are. Come on, Conor.”

“I think you’d like Mac,” Conor says as he walks by Emma’s side and they disappear into the house. “She’s small but fierce. She used to be a gymnast and now she kicks ass.”

Pawel should say something, but he did just tell them that people are full of shit, so maybe he can cut him some slack for language this time.

“I did say that someday you’d be lucky enough to have a kid just like you,” Dad observes. “That said, Conor’s been a good kid while he’s been here. Getting good grades, getting his work done. He and Emma bonded straight off—her parents disappeared not long before you did, so they had something in common. Except, of course, you’re back and they’re not. She’s living with a foster family here.”

There are a dozen potential things wrong with everything Dad’s just said. Pawel rolls the thoughts around in his mind as he heads back to his car, opening the doors so that he and Dad can both take several things into the house. “Do they know she’s Talented?” he asks.

“You know where the guest room is.” Dad points through the living room and kitchenette to the small hall beyond. “Right at the end there. Just take Conor’s stuff down. We’ll put your things to the side in the living room for now.”

Conor pops his head out of his room just as Pawel arrives. “What do you mean for now? Aren’t we staying all summer? I thought we’d stay here all summer, Dad. Dziadziu said we could.”

There are times when Pawel wonders what their family looks like from the outside: three generations having three separate conversations in tangled instances, answering questions in random order. He can see where Emma sits on the bed, Conor’s tablet in her hands. She doesn’t seem concerned.

“I’m sleeping on the couch, Conor. We’ll stay in town, but we might need to get a hotel room. I’m going to need a bed eventually,” Pawel points out.

“I’ll move in with Emma. Her dads wouldn’t mind.”

“I don’t think they’d even notice,” Emma says dryly. “I like Conor better than Matt.”

“She has four foster siblings,” Conor stage whispers.

Emma looks up, gaze pinning him. “They aren’t my siblings. I’m an only child. We’re all just fosters in the same house, except Nevaeh and Jennie. I think they’re almost as good as adopted. Jennie doesn’t even remember her parents.”

For once, Pawel is the one getting whiplash from the swift turns in conversation.

“Is everyone Talented?” It’s the same question, asked a different way, and this time he throws it out there for anyone to answer. He drops the bag of Conor’s summer clothes on the bed, next to where Emma sits.

“Her dads are both Talented!” Conor bounces up onto the bed, almost knocking the suitcase off. “One’s Clan and one’s—”

“They aren’t my dads,” Emma snaps. She drops Conor’s tablet on the bed and stands up, her body shivering so hard that her braids shake. “My mom and dad are coming back. They aren’t my dads at all. I’m just staying there until—”

“My dad can find them.”

Emma’s mouth is slightly open, her voice a small squeak. “What?”

“My dad is really good at everything about Talented people. He’s an expert.” Conor nods quickly. “He’s so much an expert that he teaches people not to be stupid—uninformed,” he corrects himself, “about what it means to be Talented. He knows everything.”

“Not everything,” Pawel tries to stay, but Conor steamrolls over him.

“He just saved the world, and he’s friends with Clan and with Mages, and we know this entire commune of Mages up in Burlington and if anyone can find your parents, he can,” Conor says firmly. “You’ll do it, Dad, right?”

“I think I’d need a little more information before I can promise that,” Pawel says slowly.

“Your father is supposed to be resting.” Dad stands behind him, and Pawel doesn’t need to turn to know the look Dad gives Conor. He was on the receiving end of that look himself many times as a child. Dad continues, “The last time your father got involved in something, he disappeared and you came here.”

Conor’s mouth snaps shut, lips pressed and his cheeks flushed. “He came back,” he mutters. “He always comes back.”

Emma pats the bed and when Conor sits, she puts her arms around him and holds on. “Maybe mine will come back, just like yours did. Then your dad won’t have to go find them.” Her whisper is too loud to be entirely secret. “I don’t want your dad to disappear again.”

“Me neither,” Conor admits.

“Emma.” 

“Dziadziu!” Conor interrupts him. “Did you ask Emma’s dads—”

“They’re not my dads.”

“—if she can stay over tonight?” The sadness is gone from Conor’s expression as he bounces on the bed. “She’s got stuff in a drawer from the last time she stayed. She can get on the bus with me in the morning, and we can play games with Alan online later.” His gaze skates to Pawel. “If you say it’s okay, of course.”

It’s only been a couple of months, and Conor has somehow built himself a routine here. Pawel isn’t entirely sure how he fits into it.

It’s strange thinking about Conor growing up and growing apart from Pawel when his son is only nine years old.

“I talked to them,” Dad assures them. “But that means sleep tonight. It’s a school night, and I’ll be checking. No magic after dark. No surprise storms. No more rain indoors.”

“That was once!” Conor protests.

“Lights out by half past eight, and I want you asleep by nine,” Dad says in a tone that brooks no argument. “You’ve got plenty of time before then; we haven’t even had dinner yet. You might even be sick of each other by then.”

“Never!” Conor and Emma chorus.

Pawel has to wait for Dad to move before they can both slip out of the room, leaving the door cracked. “I’m glad he’s made friends here,” Pawel says quietly. “He and Alan are—well, I’d almost call them codependent sometimes. I was worried. But they both seem to be doing well.”

“Conor’s fallen on his feet, that’s for sure. He’s a lot like another child I once knew: just starts talking until he finds his spot to fit in. Might even have a bit of a savior complex.”

Pawel gives his father a dark look. “I do not have a savior complex. If I did, I’d have followed you into law enforcement, rather than going into academia.”

Dad smiles. “You’re still saving people. You just go about it in a different way on a daily basis. But it seems to me like you didn’t even hesitate when you found out your students needed your help. You can’t resist a puzzle.”

“Apple didn’t fall far from the tree, I get it,” Pawel mutters. “Fine, fine. We’re all peas in a pod, and a hundred other trite descriptive phrases. The Szczek men have similar traits.”

“Mm.” Dad leads the way outside, so they can retrieve the last few things from Pawel’s car. “Some of us have learned how to ask for help,” he says quietly. “Conor’s made himself at home in Emma’s foster house. He’s spent more than a few nights there, and yes, before you ask, I trust her foster fathers completely. One of them works with me. But that’s something you might want to think about this summer, Pawel.”

Pawel shoulders the backpack with his computer in it, and closes the door to his car. “What’s that, Dad?”

“You don’t have to do everything on your own,” Dad reminds him. “For the summer, you’ve got me. Think about what to do when you get home. The fate of the world doesn’t need to rest on your shoulders alone.”

It seems like everyone’s got something to say about his bad habits. The thing is, Pawel’s got help at home. He’s a single father; he knows he needs assistance sometimes. He’s got Alan’s family next door. Emily’s always willing to help out with Conor. But he’s also got… a lot of responsibility. He’s a professor, and a dean, and he leads Coven and the taekwondo team. 

Who the hell else is he going to rely on? Pawel does the things no one else is available to do.

“Don’t worry, Dad,” he says, because he knows it’s what Dad needs to hear. “I’m not going to overwork myself again. I’ll make sure I’ve got help.”

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[mariexdiary]

Τρίτη 23/6/2021, 1:27

Πέρασε καιρός..

Θεέ μου, πόσο καιρό έχω να γράψω; Πάνε πάνω από 5 μήνες από την τελευταία φορά που έγραψα στο ημερολόγιο μου. Με ανάδρομο Ερμή θυμήθηκα τα παλιά. Όχι, δεν έγινε κάτι ερωτικό. Με τον Mr. Big έχουμε να μιλήσουμε από το Μεγάλο Σάββατο. Υποσχέθηκα στον εαυτό μου να μη του στείλω μήνυμα ξανά. Ξέρω πως κάποια στιγμή θα λυγήσω αλλά, δεν ήρθε η ώρα ακόμη. Άλλωστε είναι καλοκαίρι. Το καλοκαίρι όλα αλλάζουν!

Τώρα κατάλαβα το γιατί..

Περίμενα πως και πως το Σάββατο (19/6) για να πάω στο πλοίο και να πάω στη Μύκονο. Το σχεδιάσαμε από το Πάσχα. Γενικά όλα τα πλάνα του φετινού καλοκαιριού έχουν σχεδιαστεί πριν τον Μάιο. Όταν φτάσαμε, έβαλα πάλι τα κλάματα. Μετά από ένα χρόνο ταξιδεύω! Είμαι κάπου έκτος Αθηνών, έκτος Αττικής. Νοικιάσαμε γουρούνα και πήραμε τον δρόμο για το ένα και μοναδικό.. Super Paradise! Δεν είμαι υπερβολική για τον χαρακτηρισμό που δίνω σε αυτή τη παράλια. Είναι μοναδική όπως και οι τιμές του!*

Super Paradise.. Με λίγα και απλά λόγια ΔΕΝ ΗΘΕΛΑ ΝΑ ΦΥΓΩ! Έκανα παρέες στα πρώτα δέκα λεπτά (Μια ελληνική οικογένεια και μια Ισπανική γκέι παρέα). Και ευτυχώς που ήταν η παρέα διότι εξαιτίας τους έχασα το κόμπλεξ με το μαγιό στην παραλία. Τα τελευταία χρόνια φορώ ολόσωμο μαγιό. Για την ακρίβεια, προσπαθώ να βρίσκω κάτι sexy. Σιγά μην αφήσω την sexy μου πλευρά μόνο για το κρεββάτι! Χορέψαμε, κάναμε ηλιοθεραπεία, μιλήσαμε για τα προβλήματα που έχουν οι δυο χώρες με την κορόνα, ήπιαμε τεκίλα και πλατσουρίσαμε στα γαλαζοπράσινα νερά.

Το απόγευμα/βραδύ δεν είχα κουράγιο για τίποτα. Σκεπτόμουν το Super Paradise. Είχα καιρό να περάσω τόσο όμορφα και κυρίως να μη θέλω να φύγω από εκεί που είμαι. Ήταν το ιδανικό τριήμερο που το σχεδίασα όλο μονή μου και βγήκα κερδισμένη. Ήταν όπως το ήθελα αλλά εξελίχτηκε σε μια ηδονή! Ναι, το παραδέχομαι.. Αυτό το νησί με ΚΑΥΛΩΣΕ!

Μύκονος, το νησί της deep house σκηνής!

Μερικά από τα τραγούδια που άκουσα στο Super Paradise και όχι μόνο. Κάποια τα ήξερα, κάποια μπήκαν στην λίστα των αγαπημένων!

Biscits - Transition

Weiss - Feel My Needs

John Summit - Make Me Feel

Block & Crown - Work This Sound

Boys Noize feat. Jake Shears - All I Want

Gorgon City feat. MNEK - Ready For Your Love

Ferreck Dawn, Robosonic & Nikki Ambers - In My Arms

Dj Roland Clark presents Urban Soul - Have A Good Time

Michael Gray feat. Roll Deep - Can't Wait For The Weekend

*Ναι, στην Μύκονο έχει τις τιμές που φαντάζεσαι. Αν δεν έχεις αρκετά χρήματα δικά σου, του μπαμπά σου, της κοπέλας σου, του αγοριού σου, άστο. Πήγαινε αλλού! Το κάθε μπάνιο θα σου κοστίσει στην καλύτερη 50.00 ευρώ.

[lyquynhnhu]

I have Peter Pan syndrome

Don’t read it because is full of nonsense. You’ll get bored and it has a lot of grammar mistake.

Anime season Summer 2021 is ending. I just watched episode 11 of Tensura 2 Part 2 and realise last week will be last episode. I hope for an announcement for season 3, but have to wait few years to watch it. Tensura season 1 aired in 2018. 3 years already between the two season.

Tensura and Hamefura are my favourite anime of this summer. Both are isekai and ironically, isekai is not my favourite genre. I started watch Tensura season 1 and season 2 Part 1 just before Tensura Nikki aired. I didn’t expected to like this so much. So I was looking forward for summer.

Initially, I was excited for summer because of Hamefura. The first season aired only last year in Spring. Time really pass fast because this week will air the last episode of season 2.

I started Hamefura because I thought it to be an adaptation of an otome game, but I was wrong and I discovered a very hilarious anime.

I’m always sad when a season is near to end. Especially because Fall season has no anime that interested me.

Recently, I’m really nostalgic. Generally, because I don’t celebrate my birthday, I don’t feel that I’m getting older. But when I think about anime and read the date of the first broadcast, I get surprised when thinking about how time flies.

For example, Re Zero season 2 ended in Winter 2021 and the first season aired during 2016. I was in high school when I watched season 1, and now I finished university! I thought it only passed 2 years between the two season.

When I talk with my parents about this, they say that I have a childish hobby and to stop. But I don’t want to. My heart is that of a child, at least until the day Detective Conan and One Piece will end.

Both of them are older than me and as long as they are ongoing, I’m living my childhood. To be honest, I only started watching One Piece this year. I stopped at the time-skip, and the post time-skip is a lot, so I just catch up. Spending more or less 2 month for a single series is different from watching it week by week.

I became so invested in anime and manga during middle school and even more in high school. I watched a lot of anime in this period and when I read the original date I really feel nostalgic because I can remember my past routine.

During middle and high school I could relax during Sundays. Once in university, I spend more time on train than at school and I had to do a lot of homework during weekends.

In 2015 I was obsessed with Arslan Senki. It aired on Sunday at noon (according to mine time zone). I used to watch it after lunch. By the way, I really want a season 3. Season 2 had too few episodes and it ended in a cliffhanger.

Before Arslan Senki, my Sunday anime was Phi Brain, even though I started watching it from the second half of season 3. In 2014, I didn’t even heard of this title, I discovered it by chance.

These days I’m doing a rewatch because I play BangDream. Morfonica covers Nevereverland by Nano. I like this song, so I listen to it on YouTube and I found the song Now or Never. I had the feeling I heard that song somewhere before. So I remember it was the opening of season 2 of Phi Brain. Rewatching an old anime aired between 2011 and 2014 is really nostalgic.

I really have a good memory related to anime, while I struggle when I have to study for exams. I don’t like that time flies so fast, I want to continue being a child a little longer.