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whitepolaris · 1 year

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Bigfoots Don’t Fear to Tread

Bluff Creek, a cliff-lined mountain stream that flows through the Six Rivers National Forest in the wild north of the state, is the center of Bigfoot country. By now, most Americans have heard of Bigfoot, the North American Abominable Snowman, usually from sleazy weekly tabloids or dubious TV documentaries. Still, a brief recap of the stories and legends is in order:

Bigfoot-a.k.a. Sasquatch, Skunk Ape, and so forth-is a wild, hairy, apelike creature who’s been sighted sporadically in the forests and mountains of North America ever since Indian times. He’s between seven and eleven feet tall, judging by the deeply imprinted giant tracks that gave him his most famous moniker, weighs several hundred pounds. Bigfoot is often accompanied by an evil odor that resembles the stench of garbage or rotten eggs. Both male and female varieties of Bigfoot have been reported, and in 1924 a Canadian miner named Albert Ostman claimed to have been kidnapped for a week by a Bigfoot family.

Nobody quite agrees on just what the hairy beasts are. Some researchers think Bigfoot is a primitive hominid species that retreated into North America’s forests and swamps when modern men began occupying the continent many thousands of years ago. Others believe it’s a surviving relative of Gigantopithecus, an extinct giant ape. A third faction suspects that Bigfoot is a miragelike phantom formed by unknown geophysical forces. And of course, there are skeptics and debunkers, who write off the whole phenomenon as a product of overactive imaginations and yellow journalism.

Indian tribes are usually the most reliable authorities on bigfoot. Traditionally, they tend to regard the beasts as evil and avoid them. The creatures, in turn, generally avoid us. Unhappy with human incursions into their territories, Bigfoots have been known to vandalize backwoods construction sites and lob rocks at hunters who invade their domain.

These creatures have been spotted in every state of the United States save Hawaii, but California-our own fair state-has the highest number and concentration of sightings.

Bluff Creek, the “hot center” of Bigfoot Country in northern Cailfornia, flows about twenty miles southward from the Siskiyou Mountains to the Klamath River. In the 1978 book Sasquatch; The Apes Among Us, veteran Bigfoot hunter John Green wrote that over sixty people had seen more seventy sets of tracks along the creek and had spotted the beasts eight times. This made the mountain stream the most active area for Bigfoot sightings in North America.

Though there had been rumors of mysterious giant footprints and “ape-men” in this land of steep, heavily forested coastal mountains all the way back to gold rush days, the real excitement began in 1958. That year a timber road linking the then primitive and uncrowded Highway 96 with Highway 199 was being carved out of the uninhabited wilderness along Bluff Creek. Around late August, work crews began noticing that something with sixteen-inch feet and four-foot stride was leaving tracks around their camp at night.

A bulldozer operator named Jerry crew became intrigued by the tracks and made a plaster cast of them. He took them to the Humboldt Times, told a reporter about the mystery animal, and had his picture taken with the huge footprints. The story soon got onto the AP wire and was reprinted all over the country. The press appropriately dubbed the beast “Bigfoot,” and the name stuck.

For years afterwards, road workers and loggers at Bluff Creek kept finding giant prints along the road and creek bed. Some of them reported that they’d seen huge, hairy, humanoid creatures loping around in the woods. At night, they raided human outposts and scared crewmen with their aggressiveness and strength. In the Laird Meadow region, a Bigfoot-like animal toppled loaded trailers, overturned 450-pound barrels, and threw a four-foot concrete culvert into a ditch.

Many expeditions to capture the beasts have been mounted, yet to this day none have definitely proved that the creatures exist. There are only plaster casts of footprints, eyewitness accounts, tapes of what purport to be a Bigfoot screaming eerily, a couple of blurry photos-and the Patterson film.

Bigfoot on Film?

The Patterson film is the most powerful evidence the Bigfoot supporters have. The thirty feet of 16-mm color film. which show a large apelike creature shambling away from the cameraman, have been shown countless times in movies, tv documentaries, and news programs. The film remains the best suggestion to date that a huge hirsute monsters are wandering around northern western California’s wilderness. Not surprisingly, it was taken on Bluff Creek.

The late Bigfoot hunter Roger Patterson shot the film during a close encounter with one of the creatures in the early afternoon of October 20, 1967. he was out horseback riding at Bluff Creek with his friend Bob Gimlin. As they rounded a bend in the creek, the two men spotted a Bigfoot sitting calmly beside the water. Patterson’s horse reared in fright, and he dismounted quickly, scrambling for the movie camera. Gimlin remained mounted, readying his rifle for action. Then Patterson quickly turned on his camera and ran about eighty feet toward the animal.

The camera caught a hairy biped with simian features, virtually no neck, and pendulous breasts. It stood still for a moment, looking back at the camera, then strode off into the brush, its long arms swinging at its sides. Right after this encounter, the men found fourteen-inch footprints where the beast had walked.

The Patterson film is highly controversial-dismissed as a clumsy fake by some and embraced as undeniable evidence by others. Most of the latter maintain that the creature in the film is female, because of its distinctive breasts. Argosy magazine, the first to publish the film stills, dubbed the beast the Adorable Woodswoman.

In the wake of the film’s release, searchers have tried mightily to photograph, capture, or kill the hairy creatures-all to no avail. Bigfoot has eluded all captors, and though sightings in the area have become less frequent in recent years, it’s likely that most persistent and frustrating zoological mystery in the Western Hemisphere still roams free along the steep banks of Bluff Creek.

#weird california #type read #long as read

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thiswasinevitableid · 2 years

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22 Construct, NSFW, OT4

I have so many potential starts for this. Manifesting Bigfoot and Mothman into existence? Summoning creatures from another world? Or Sylvain is dying and Indrid summons heroes from another world to help? So many possibilities 🤔

Here you go! This is inspired in part by the old Bigfoot hunting movies, which are some of the only media my brain accepts these days.

Duck’s been hiking the woods in general since 1949 and the woods of the Pacific Northwest since he moved out here for work in 1970. So excuse him if he’s skeptical that there’s some gigantic ape monster running around out here.

“You don’t gotta be a believer, but this is a hell of a job. Make a little scratch, keep seasoned woodsman from gettin too big for their britches, and make sure they don’t muck up the ecosystem.”

Thacker had a point, which is why Duck agreed to act as both a naturalist and one of two back-country guides for the North American Wildlife Research center. The name is sensible enough, but after a week of hearing them speculate about Sasquatch at base camp, Duck is starting to despair for the wildlife researchers of the future.

Now, a week out on the trail, Duck suspects many of his fellow explorers have even less outdoors experience than they let on; there’s a whiff of weekend warrior about most of them that gives him the same bad feeling as watching someone wander up a trail in sandals.

The one exception is Joseph Stern, a former FBI agent turned full time Bigfoot researcher. He listens when Duck points out interesting wildlife, takes both his warnings and opinions seriously instead of treating him like a hick they have to cart around in exchange for permission to be out here.

He also wears the tightest shirts known to man, and Duck is starting to suspect he wouldn’t complain if the ranger felt him up in the tent some night. Not when he made a crack about there being a bear in it the first time they shared.

Duck’s in no hurry; they’re out here until early fall. If Joe still hasn’t made a move by them, Duck will wait until they get back to town to ask if he’d like to come over and “debrief.”

—---------------------------------------------------------------

“How you holding up?” Barclay sets the grocery bags on the dusty table.

“I maintain existence is not all it’s cracked up to be.” Indrid stands, intending to join him, and bangs his knee on a chair. Barclay sympathizes; eyesight adjustment was bad enough going from bigfoot to human. He can’t imagine how difficult transitioning from mothman eyesight is.

Indrid landed in Kepler–literally–three months ago with the same alarmed timbre to his voice Barclay had after stumbling into the place several years prior. He, and many like him, were conjured into existence by sheer force of belief after that fucking Patterson-Gimlin film. Indrid’s lot is even stranger in that mothman as a construct only encompasses a single entity, not the idea of new species, and so he’s the only one of his kind.

Kepler is a saving grace for Cyrtpids in two ways; it houses the Amnesty Lodge, run by a woman who’s decided that just because cryptids come into being fully grown with memories and legends in tow doesn’t mean they don’t need someone looking after them. And it’s home to Aubrey Little, who’s parents founded the Sylvain commune and who can do magic that would put James Randi to shame.

For starters, she can make the cryptids disguises so they’re not spotted and off to spend their lives in a zoo.

Indrid likes to tease him that, if it weren’t for Aubrey making him such a distinct human disguise, Barclay would have no interest in him. They both know it’s not true; Barclay’s wanted Indrid since he first laid eyes on his eye-spotted wings.

He draws the willowy man into his arms, “Go draw the blinds, little moth. I’ll get my claws into your feathers and show you just how nice being alive can be.”

Indrid kisses his nose with a chirp and a sly smile, “Hmm, well, I’m in such a mood, it may take you all night to convince me.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I thought this place was abandoned.” Joe, standing by his horse as they have lunch, pulls out the map and frowns.

“It should be. That cabin ain’t had anyone in it for years. But I guess the new resident didn’t get the memo.” Duck peers through his binoculars at the humble structure down in the valley, clearly occupied and in the midst of being repaired.

“We should ask if we can stay on his property.” Winthrop,one of the backers, looks at his bologna sandwich with disgust, “and if we can, I call the porch. Damn bugs.”

“Yeah, real rude of mother nature not to be a five star resort.” Duck mutters. Joe snickers softly and passes him the bread.

It’s evening by the time they hit the valley. Duck stands beside Joe in the glow of the porchlight, moths bumping the windows as they wait for the occupant to answer. When he does, Duck’s breath is gone with the daylight.

The man in the door is tall and wiry, hair so pale it could be white, with red glasses perched on a narrow nose. His features are angular, his smile wide, and it should all add up to something alarming. Instead, he’s so gorgeous Duck forgets what he was going to say.

If Joe is having the same problem, he doesn’t let on, introducing them and explaining the situation. The man, who gives his name as Indrid, thinks for a moment before agreeing to let them cap near the cabin and make use of its restroom.

As the others set up camp, Duck watches Joe chat with Indrid on the porch. He must have been a menace as an agent; in ten minutes, Indrid’s posture moves from relaxed to open, and soon he’s leaning almost flirtatiously on the railing as Joe talks.

“Hey, slick, you gonna help me with the tent or what?” He teases, fully aware of the fact Indrid is now studying him with a flattering intensity.

“One second, I was asking Mr. Cold if he’s seen any unusual, large, wildlife in the area.”

“Nothing but elk and one bear. Unless we’re counting deer as large? They strike me as medium sized, but no, other than those I haven’t seen anything of note.”

“Any strange smells? Like a skunk but more intense?”

“No? Goodness, who is spreading the word that these, ah, Sasquatch smell bad?” Something in Indrid’s smile flickers.

“It’s just something that turns up in eye-witness accounts. Have you-”

“O-kay, that’s enough with the interrogation for now.” Duck steers Joe towards their tent, “thanks again, Indrid. See you in the mornin.”

They pitch the tent and go over their notes from the last few days, discussing the route for tomorrow. Duck feels more than a little smug that Joe removes a cluster of sightings based on his explanation of how that’s absolutely where a bear den is and how weather can warp bear tracks to look plausibly like a bigfoot. The researcher does keep glancing over at the cabin; at one point, Indrid is at the window and waves to both of them. Joe waves back, a little awkwardly, and protective affection curls through Duck’s chest.

By the time they’re done talking the rest of the camp is asleep. They lay down and shut off the lantern. Fifteen minutes later, a faint, red light emanates from the upper window of the cabin.

“That’s odd” Joe sits up, peering through a crack in the zipper, “there’s no reason to have a lantern there. It almost…almost looks like a signal.” He pulls the zipper further, reaching for his boots.

Duck groans and sits up, “Joe, get your ass back in the tent.”

Joe’s blue eyes glint in the faint light as he looks over his shoulder “Last I checked, Duck, I was the head researcher, and you technically answer to me.”

“And last I checked, it was fuckin bad manners to creep around some poor fellas house.”

“I'm not creeping, I'm just...going for a look.”

“No, you ain’t.” Duck grabs the back of the boxers Stern’s taken to wearing to bed.

“Let go!” Joe hisses.

“Get back in the tent and I will.”

Joe simply turns around and tries to further unzip the tent, at which point Duck tugs, pulling him backwards and landing the taller man on top of him with a mutual “oof.”

“This seems unnecessary.” Joe mutters into his shoulder, though he stays down.

“It’s necessary to keep you from violating someone’s privacy for the sake of a silly story.”

Joe’s posture sags, and after a moment he whispers, “If you think it’s silly, why did you agree to come?”

“Because y’all are payin me. And because I'm real curious about what people are seein'. Truth be told, you’re the first fella who’s made a case for Bigfoot that I even half-believe, because you know your stuff and actually think about things for two seconds.”

“Thank you. Really, coming from you that’s actually high praise.”

“Seems to me you deserve a little praise now and then.” Duck smiles. Joe shifts in his arms and so he quickly adds, “you need me to let you up?”

“No. Um, that is, I’m comfortable like this if you are.”

“I’d say I’m plenty comfy.” He hazards a glide of his hands down Joe’s lower back, settling them on his ass and getting a surprised sigh in return.

“Really? I, I mean, not that I’m complaining it’s just, you seem like a very normal, red-blooded american man.”

“Sure as hell red-blooded enough to appreciate this handsome face” He moves one hand up to carefully trace a thumb along Joe’s jaw, a hint of stubble pricking his skin, “you crack me up, slick. You believe in a huge-ass ape thing but not a gay fella from the south.”

“That second one's not as much talked about.”

“Think you might just need to broaden your horizons some. If you stick around town when we’re done, happy to help you do just that.”

“I’d like that.” Joe shifts and rolls so that he’s straddling Duck, the smallest flash of shyness on his face before he dips down and kisses him. Duck slips his fingers into black hair, pressing him closer so he can tease his tongue between his lips. Joe moans, covers his mouth as Duck pulls away enough to kiss his way across his cheek and down his neck, nipping softly enough to avoid any marks.

He grunts as Joe rolls his hips, the taller man smiling at the reaction and giving his thigh an appreciative squeeze, “If you want, I've been told I give good head. Through stalls, at least.”

The thought of Joe on his knees in some grimy bathroom with a dick down his throat sends most of his blood south, but the remainder still powering his brain reminds him the other man deserves something much better than an anonymous hook-up.

“Appreciate the offer, darlin. But we got plenty of nights ahead of us, and you could do with a hell of a lot more kissin’ first.”

A soft moan, followed by a self-depreciating laugh, “Shit, that’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“Damn shame.” Duck rolls them onto their sides, hooking his ankle over a toned leg, “guess I better get to makin’ up the difference.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------

“Ugh, you get sprayed by a skunk one time!” Barclay throws up his hands, “just my luck I walked by a campsite where someone had a camera right after.”

“That does explain Joseph’s comment…” Indrid stares out the window in the direction the research party left. He didn’t enjoy having to tell Barclay to stay away last night, but even with them both human the chances of the disguise malfunctioning were too high.

(He does appreciate that when he moved from concept into concrete being, it was a version of him that had the gift of future vision).

“Do you think they’re a big threat?”

“I think Joseph is exactly the kind of person who brought us into existence. And that if anyone in that group is going to find out the truth, it will be him. Or Duck, because he’s looking for it, not just for us.”

Barclay takes his hand, “Come back to the Lodge? I know you need some space to sort out being mothman but I’d, uh, I’d feel better if you weren’t out here alone with them tromping around.”

“Yes, I think I had better.” He flutters his eyelashes, hoping it looks as alluring on him as it does on the heroines in his romance novels, “provided you let me stay in your room.”

Barclay kisses him, “Sure thing, little moth.”

—-------------------------------------------------------

Joseph knows Winthrop and the others are on this expedition in the hopes of making a find that will make them millionaires, and that it was only a matter of time before an argument like the one he had with them tonight broke out.

He did not expect the end result of this to be his and Duck’s tent getting shoved down a hillside.

As they scrabble at the polyester and the dirt beneath, trying to slow their descent and keep them from turning into a knot in one end of the tent, he marvels at the other’s confidence; yes, they have a second guide, but Duck knows the area better than anyone. He doesn’t wish harm on anyone, but if the rest of the party is never seen again, he won’t feel that bad.

They almost make it to the bottom with only bruises and torn bags. Then the angle sharpens and they drop six feet, Duck landing on his wrist and cursing as Joseph frees them from the tangled fabric.

“Fuck, think it’s fuckin broken, must’ve fallen on it dead wrong.”

“Stay still. My first aid kit is somewhere around here.” He digs through the mess, finds the red carrier and helps Duck onto a log so he can get the wrist into a sling and bandage the cut on his own leg.

“Good news is, owfuck, if my map” Duck taps his temple, “is right, we ain’t all that far from Kepler, and they got at least one doctor. But we might wanna wait until morning; stand a better chance of stayin the right course if we can see.”

“I’ll see what else I can salvage from the tent.” He runs a hand over his hair, “I’m so sorry, Duck. I should have kept my mouth shut.”

Duck’s uninjured arm bumps into his own, “All that woulda done is make it so I was the one who reamed ‘em out for the idea they could fuckin poach out here.”

A crack in the brush in front of them. Duck grabs the flashlight they’d been using to check their injuries.

It’s not the reflective eyes that worry him; it’s the fact they’re a good eight feet off the ground

“Gun in your bag?” Duck whispers.

“It was. No idea if it’s still there.”

A low growl as the hulking figure moves closer. He motions for Duck to stay still and takes the flashlight from him, standing between his friend and the encroaching creature. Its fur is reddish-brown in the light, and it’s not nearly as hairy as he expected. The face is more human than ape, the ears pointed, and claws are visible on the tips of its hands.

“It’s beautiful.” He says it half to Duck and half to himself, which is why he nearly drops the flashlight when Bigfoot responds.

“Uh, thanks.”

“Holy shit.” He shakes his head to clear it, the urgency of their situation keeping him from jumping for joy at the fact he’s not only right but that the subject of his research can actually talk with him, “I’m sorry if we’re in your territory, but we were abandoned by our expedition and my friend here is hurt. Do you know the safest route to Kepler?”

Bigfoot chuckles, “Man, he wasn’t kidding about you. Yeah, I can get you there. You both okay to walk?”

Duck gets to his feet, “Yep. Just go slow to start, think Joe and I are both a little rattled in the skull from the fall.”

Bigfoot gives a thumbs up, then waves for them to follow him. Joseph takes Duck’s arm, unwilling to risk his falling behind, and starts into the darkness after him.

—-----------------------------------------------------

“Incredible” Joseph stares at his notes, coffee sitting untouched on the table in front of him. Whether he’s referring to the disguise charm, the way cryptids come into existence, or Barclay’s cooking, he isn’t sure. All he knows is those blue eyes have been sparkling at him all morning and he’s not interested in losing their attention any time soon.

“Brought into being by intense, sudden, collective belief. I mean, the theological and metaphysical implications alone are earth shattering. Duck and I could write whole papers on how it influences ecosystems, too…” He sets the end of his pen in his mouth, pondering the notebook.

“Don’t let Mama hear you say that. She’s got a basement and she’s not afraid to lock people in it.” It’s a teasing comment; in the day since they arrived, Joseph has made it abundantly clear he has no interest in endangering Barclay or the others by revealing their exact location or identities.

Joseph lowers his pen, “What’s it like? Being you, I mean. Coming into the world that way.”

“It’s…weird. Like, I have these memories, this history, these features. I exist the way I do because enough people think that’s the truth. But at the same time I, I like cooking” he gestures to the flattop, “I like blues music and I hate the way smoke looks in the sky and I cry at wedding scenes in movies. No one gave me those things. That’s all me.” He shrugs, “Like I said, it’s weird. I, uh, I can try to answer whatever questions you have, though.”

A gentle, dazzling smile, “And if my questions are just about Barclay and not Bigfoot?”

“That’s fine too.” He winks, then settles in for questioning.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------

“Room service!”

Duck looks up from the paper to find Indrid Cold in tiny shorts and a tank top, beaming as he holds out a breakfast tray.

“Aw hell yeah, is that corned beef hash?”

“Indeed. Joseph said it was your favorite.”

“Swear that fella’s got a mind like a fuckin steel trap.”

“He is remarkably observant. I can see why you chose him for a mate.”

Duck drops his fork, then laughs a little, “Guess that’s one word for him. Ain’t sure he’s interested in anything that formal.” Suddenly, all he can picture is Joe at basecamp, getting into his car and driving away, back to his small apartment and nights spent hoping someone will call him a good boy from the other side of the glory hole.

“Uh, thanks, by the way. Barclay said you were the one who told him to come look for Joe and me.”

“I did. There were futures where you were more seriously injured and my future sight told me it was best if he moved in his true form so he could reach you more quickly.”

“Is that sight-”

“-Why I am here? No. I, ah, I am like the others. In a way.”

“You’re a Bigfoot?”

The taller man shakes his head, stands, and removes his glasses.

“Jesus!” He nearly overturns his chair jolting away from the huge, insectoid shape towering over him.

“Yes. That seems to be the usual reaction.” Feathery antenna droop, “Mothman was created to be something to be afraid of. An explanation for disaster. Or so I gather.”

“Hey, hey no” Duck stands, “I ain’t scared. Just wasn’t expectin you to look like this” He uses his good hand to touch Indrid’s arm, the chitin smooth and cool under his fingers, “did they at least make you look like one of the cool moths?”

“I…I do not know” He turns, wings spread, “can you tell?”

“Damn” Duck brushes his fingers along the circle of red on the left wing, “almost look like a Cinnabar Moth. Fuckin amazin.”

“Thank you. I, so far it is only Barclay who has found this form appealing. And perhaps Joseph? He asked if he could study me in it and take notes, but I cannot tell if that is flirtation in this case.”

Duck traces a little heart on the glossy black feathers, wondering if Indrid can feel it, “Depends. If he turns up in his Bluff Creek t-shirt, I’d make a move.”

Indrid swivels his head, red eyes glowing charmingly, “Noted.”

—---------------------------------------------------------

“Do you still have the paper? I want to see if there are any apartments listed. Thank you.” Joe takes the pages, leaning his back on the wall. Duck, half-upright on the pillows, kicks his feet into his lap.

“You plannin to stay?”

“I think I can make a case to the research center that this is a logical outpost for me. And I really would be researching, I just would be…discreet with my sources. Not to mention it, well, it’s not far from where you live. So if you wanted to keep seeing each other we could.”

“Do you want to?”

“Yes, if it’s what you want.”

Duck snorts, hoping the noise doesn’t sound cruel, “That ain’t what I asked.”

Joe places the paper on the dresser and says calmly, “I want it so badly I could scream.” He shifts, nudges Duck’s legs apart, “I never, never thought I’d find someone like you. When you smile at me it’s like coming home, and your body” he pushes Duck’s shirt up, kisses just above his bellybutton, “your body makes me want to invent new sex positions just so we can fuck in every one of them.”

“Yeah?” Duck moves his hand, palming his fly, “seems to me you’re anglin for a tried and true one.

Joe watches the glide of his hand, the swell of his dick against it, “May I?”

“Knock yourself outAHhey” he laughs as Joe bonks into his belly, “didn’t mean literally.”

Joe laughs, guides his cock from the fly of his boxers, “I maintain my enthusiasm is warranted.”

Duck groans as an eager tongue glides up his shaft, “Fuck, nice to be appreciated.”

The other man takes the head into his mouth, sucking skillfully as he tucks a hand under his waistband. Unlike most things Joe does it’s aimless, no defined goal beyond squeezing and pawing at Duck’s body.

He digs his fingers deep enough into black hair to muss it, savoring the fact he’s the only one Joe allows such a gesture (he slapped Winthrop's hand away when he tried it at camp one night).

“Good boy, fuck, Joe, you know how to make a guy feel like a fuckin king.”

Joe moans at the praise, then freezes as a knock comes from the door.

“We were gonna go grab a bite. You guys wanna come?”

At Barclay’s voice Joe’s eyes squeeze shut in pleasure. But when he tries to pull off to reply, Duck holds his head in place.

“In a few. Got somethin y’all might wanna see first. C’mon in.”

Barclay and Indrid step inside, only for Indrid to grin and Barclay to slam a hand over his eyes.

“Is, is this what you wanted us to see? Joseph, is it okay with you?”

Unable to move his head, Joe gives them a thumbs up.

“We have the all clear dearest.”

Barclay drops his hand, needy growl filling the air the moment he looks at Joe.

“See, here’s the thing. Joe’s real proud of his cock-suckin, and it’d be a damn shame not to give him the chance to show off. Not to mention, if you let him get a peek at what your dicks look like in your, uh, other forms, he’d probably bend over and let us fuck him two at a time.” He releases Joe in case he needs to protest or catch his breath.

“God yes” He gasps, surging up to kiss Duck, “see, this is why I’m sticking around, no where in the city can I find a bear this smart.”

“Bear?” Indrid cocks his head adorably.

“I’ll explain later, sugar.”

Indrid chirrs, blushing as he reaches for his glasses. When he’s Mothman once more, Joe sighs, “I’ll never get tired of looking at you.”

“Ahem” Barclay’s shadow falls across the bed.

Joe’s gaze starts at his face, moving down with a smooth smile, “Or you, big guy. Um, very big guy.” He scoots to the edge of the bed, circling both hands around Barclay’s formidable cock, “amazing, the head is more flared than a human’s would be” he runs his thumb over said head, setting pre-cum beading down it, which he then licks at with an inquisitive expression.

“Why is this so hot?”

“Earnest interest in a partner is very attractive?” Indrid grins, antenna twitching, “or perhaps you get off on geeks.”

“Oh I gonna get off on him alright.” Barclay is now caressing Joe’s face, nudging him towards his cock, “you want in?”

Indrid rubs between his legs, “I’m working on it. It, ah, it takes rather more effort for mine to emerge.”

“Want a hand?” Duck tries not to snicker at the pun.

“I have four already, but yes.” Indrid steps into his space, folded wings bumping the edge of the bed, “be a sweet human and help me.”

Duck offers his good hand, “Show me how?”

Indrid guides it along the feathers, holding Duck��s fingers down and circling them until the skin parts. Silvery slick runs down his wrist, silky rather than sticky for which he has to say he’s grateful. The cryptid purrs, running black claws down his arm as his cock curls free. It’s thin and flexible, curling around his wrist enough that Duck wonders if there’s any chance it’s prehensile.

“Ohmylord.” Joe nearly tips over turning from Barclay to Indrid, “I’ve never seen…Indrid this is amazing.” He examines the tentacle for a moment, then drags his tongue along the side, following it along Duck’s wrist and finishing with a kiss to his palm. As he pulls back, the appendage follows him, making Barclay laugh.

“Damn, baby, it likes you.”

Joe glances at Barclay, winks, and then takes the whole thing into his mouth. Indrid trills and his wings snap open hard enough to knock a picture off the wall.

“Awww, you excited sugar? Duck stands, stroking a palm against the closest wing.

“Extremely, oh, ohgoodness, you were not exaggerating he is magnificent.”

Joe moans, waving one hand at Barclay.

“Want me to do something?” The cryptid grins. Joe’s nostrils flare and he points more emphatically at the floor directly beside Indrid. As soon as he’s in reach Joe’s hand flies up to stroke his cock, smirking when Barclay yips.

“This is what you’re gonna do once you move, ain’t it?” Duck continues caressing Indrid’s wing, planting kisses on the edges nearest his shoulder, “be a nice, upstandin’ researcher all day and then spend the night on your knees.”

“Mmmhmmph” Joe nods, pulls free of Indrid and immediately takes Barclay’s cock into his mouth.

“Rude, pet.” Indrid crows against Barclay, cock pushing past the corner of Joe’s lips. Blue eyes widen in excitement, and from here Duck can see the tendril pulsing against his cheek as Barclay’s cock forces his mouth into a wider stretch.

Fuck, he should have made him finish before letting the others have a turn, he’s still so hard he could carve a fucking statue with his dick.

A black wing drapes over his shoulder, drawing him against Indrid’s side, and a spindly hand reaches around his dick.

“Allow me.” Indrid dips his head, nuzzling Duck’s hair as he moans and bucks his hips, “my lovely Duck, so thoughtful, sharing his mate.”

Joe moans, eyes wide and a bit hazy when he looks Duck’s way.

“Yes, pet, you’re very good too. So handsome and composed, even on your knees. But you’ll look far nicer in just a moment.”

“Fuck!” Duck gasps as his orgasm hits him in the gut and Joe in the face. As his legs buckle, Indrid grabs him and holds him close, trilling sharply. He can see Joe’s throat working, but as Indrid’s cock retreats, silvery cum trails down his chin.

Then Duck is scooped up in four arms and carried back to the bed, Indrid cradling him close and wrapping his wings about him like a luxurious blanket.

“C’mon babe, touch yourself while I fuck your throat, fuck, Joseph, that’s it, fucking-A you feel so fuckin tight when you moan.” There’s a howlgrowlpurr and a gasping cough. When the gasping continues, there’s a thud. Duck peers over Indrid’s wing to find Barclay kneeling on the floor, cupping Joe’s face and using someone’s discarded shirt to wipe his chin.

“There we go, I got you blue eyes, are you okay? You need water? I can get water or-”

“I’m fine, big guy.” Joe’s voice is rough but happy, “riding out my own orgasm while you came all down my throat turned out to be a bit too much multi-tasking, even for me.”

“Thank fuck, I was so worried I’d hurt you.” That needy growl is back as Barclay joins them on the groaning bed and cuddles the human against him, “everyone good?”

“Divine.” Indrid nuzzles Duck again.

“Fuckin great.” Duck glances over at his fellow human, “seems to me like whoever came up with the, uh, constructs of these two made ‘em real fuckin fun in bed.”

Joe smiles at him, sandwiching himself more comfortably between Indrid and Barclay, “No, I think we just got lucky.”

#OT4: Government Men and Their Cryptid Boyfriends #sternclay #indruck #inclay #agent stern/duck newton #terato #monster boyfriend

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blogparanormalexpresso2stuff · 2 years

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youtube

Odd Creatures of the Great Lakes with Shetan Noir

Amazon) Shetan Noir is a cryptozoology researcher and has spent 25 years researching the Paranormal and Cryptozoology fields. Her fascination began with lake monsters at an early age when she first learned about the Loch Ness monster, then hearing reports of lake monsters in her own state of Michigan. Her research has since grown to include Michigan's own Dogman and Nain Rouge, Bigfoot and ghost hunting.

Noir is currently the lead investigator for the Michigan chapter of the North American Dogman Project, and also runs the paranormal investigation team of Michigan center for unexplained events and phenomenon.

Based in MIchigan, Noir is a author and paranormal travel Journalist.

She also teaches courses on the paranormal history of the great lakes at community colleges.

Noir has written several books on cryptozoology and is working on more upcoming book projects. Her current book is The marvelous misadventures of teagun gray (Teagun gray meets bigfoot)

Noir has also written:

Mothman and other flying creatures of the midwest.

In 2018, she wrote Lake monsters and odd creatures of the great lakes.

She also writes articles for several paranormal and cryptozoology based magazines including being head writer for Squatch GQ magazine and a contributor to Supernatural magazine.

She now specializes in paranormal travel destinations and legend trip investigations.

#Youtube

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allengreenfield · 7 months

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Searching for Sasquatch at the North American Bigfoot Center | The Official Guide to Portland

#cryptozoology

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fumpkins · 2 years

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Scientists dismiss Coyote Peterson's 'large primate skull' discovery as fake

A “large primate skull” was allegedly found in British Columbia by American YouTuber Coyote Peterson, according to social media (opens in new tab) posts (opens in new tab) he shared on Thursday (July 7). In those posts, Peterson wrote that he had hid the discovery “for several weeks” from government officials and any others who might “try to cease [sic] our footage” of the excavation. However, experts told Live Science that Peterson’s claim is highly suspect and that secretly extracting and transporting animal remains across national borders may be illegal.

“I’m sure these pics will be taken down… as will probably the video by government or state park officials… but the skull is safe,” the posts read. “I don’t know if its what you all think it might be… but I cannot explain finding a primate skull in the Pac Northwest without wondering! What do you believe?” (There are no large primates that currently live in North America — other than humans — and though tales of elusive forest-dwelling hominids such as Bigfoot have persisted for centuries, there is no evidence to suggest such creatures exist.)

Peterson, best known for his YouTube channel “Brave Wilderness” and for hosting a series called “Coyote Peterson: Brave the Wild” on Animal Planet, also wrote that he’d release footage of the skull on YouTube this weekend. But in the meantime, scientists have reacted to his alleged discovery on Twitter, questioning the credibility of the claim and suggesting that Peterson’s actions — as described in his posts — may cross ethical and legal lines.

Jonathan Kolby, a science consultant and National Geographic Explorer with expertise in wildlife trade, wrote that (opens in new tab) “Smuggling any primate specimens into the United States, even if ‘found’ in the wild is illegal. Pinging @COYOTEPETERSON for your information…. because @USFWS or @CBP might not be ok with this, even if you think you found Bigfoot….”

Related: Ancient surgical implant or modern-day fake? Peru skull leaves mystery.

Yinan Wang, a graduate student in the Geospatial Intelligence program at Johns Hopkins University, geologist and author of “The 50 State Fossils: A Guidebook for Aspiring Paleontologists (opens in new tab)” (Schiffer Publishing, Ltd., 2018), noted that (opens in new tab) Peterson’s skull closely resembles a cast of a gorilla skull that’s available for purchase on AliExpress. In the tweet, Wang includes a side-by-side comparison of the AliExpress product and the photos shared by Peterson.

“This is undoubtedly a gorilla skull, as is obvious from numerous anatomical details, and as verified by a list of experts,” Darren Naish, a vertebrate paleontologist and science communicator in the U.K., told Live Science in an email. “Also, it seems to be identical to commercially available casts of a specific gorilla skull.”

“We can straight away shut down the idea that it might be a real skull of an unknown primate. Nope. It’s a cast of a known species,” Naish said.

In his posts, Peterson said that he’s still in possession of the skull and that the specimen is safe and awaiting primatologist review. The “secure location” of the skull isn’t specified, but if it’s in the U.S., Peterson’s posts would suggest that he somehow smuggled the specimen across the U.S.-Canadian border.

If the skull were indeed genuine, such an act would be illegal, because transporting “biological specimens” and wildlife products or parts — like bones — into the U.S. typically requires permits from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and/or the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS), according to U.S. Customs and Border Protection (opens in new tab).

Furthermore, “the movement of primate specimens is regulated by CITES” — an international treaty aimed at ensuring that international trade of wild animal and plant specimens does not threaten the survival of those species, Naish told Live Science. “You might argue, then, that it’s very irresponsible to imply that a person might find a primate specimen in the wild and then just move it around.”

Breaking news I’ve seen on Facebook and Insta: Coyote Peterson is claiming to have discovered the skull of a non-human primate in British Columbia. Is talking about this as if it’s for real… pic.twitter.com/YPlmuiHdmMJuly 7, 2022

And if Peterson found the skull in a national park in Canada, his actions would be illegal under the Canada National Parks Act and National Park General Regulations, according to Parks Canada (opens in new tab). These regulations state that it’s unlawful to remove any “natural objects” from a park without a permit, and that trafficking wildlife, living or dead, from a park is also an offense. And in a scenario where the skull could be considered a fossil, laws in British Columbia forbid individuals from collecting vertebrate fossils and require that any “unusual or rare specimens” be reported to the Royal B.C. Museum, a local museum or the B.C. Fossil Management Office, the Government of British Columbia states (opens in new tab).

On top of the theoretical questions of legality, the “conspiracy-mongering” language in Peterson’s posts worsens the situation, Naish said.

“I’m told that Coyote Peterson does this sort of thing fairly often as clickbait, and that this is a stunt done to promote an upcoming video,” Naish said. “Maybe this is meant to be taken as harmless fun. But in an age where anti-scientific feelings and conspiracy culture are a serious problem it — again — really isn’t a good look. I think this stunt has backfired.”

Originally published on Live Science.

New post published on: https://livescience.tech/2022/07/09/scientists-dismiss-coyote-petersons-large-primate-skull-discovery-as-fake/

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chronicles-of-carlos · 4 years

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LIVE Stream #11: Cliff Barackman of Finding Bigfoot

Sasquatch: Out of the Shadows LIVE is a weekly live stream show every Monday night at 8:00 pm EST. Each show features a new guest or guests talking about Sasquatch, Cryptozoology, and related topics! Questions in the live chat encouraged! Cliff has been researching the Sasquatch phenomenon for over two decades, perhaps most prolifically as one of four researchers throughout nine seasons of Animal Planet's "Finding Bigfoot" TV show. Since the program, Cliff has continued his research throughout the United States and opened the North American Bigfoot Center in Boring, Oregon in 2019. Since the Bigfoot Center, like many small businesses, was closed for months and suffered financially to the COVID-19 Pandemic, we're going to do some fundraising for the benefit of the North American Bigfoot Center through "Super Chats" available in the live chat of the stream. If you choose to ask Cliff a question or feel inclined, we ask that if you can, please consider donating a few dollars with the Super Chat option, 100% of which will go towards assisting the Bigfoot Center. Otherwise, check out the awesome store available either on Cliff's website or that of the Bigfoot Center, links below. Cliff's website: https://cliffbarackman.com/ The North American Bigfoot Center's website: https://northamericanbigfootcenter.com/ On Thursday, June 25th our next guest will be Crystal Panek of the BFRO in New Hampshire! Sasquatch: Out Of The Shadows Read the full article

#Videorecording #Petakov Media #North American Bigfoot Center

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nwbeerguide · 2 years

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With a focus still on health and safety, Brouwer's Cafe invites you to celebrate 20 years of HardLiver, February 26th and 27th.

image courtesy Brouwer’s Cafe

While maintaining a sense of optimism, but still following health department guidelines, Brouwer's Cafe has shared their list for the 20th anniversary of "Hardliver" barleywine festival. Showcasing some 25+ inspired beers, man over 10% alcohol by volume. For the beloved alehouse in Seattle's Fremont neighborhood, it was two decades ago when a group of imbibers met up in another Seattle neighborhood, Phinney.

Originally held in the Phinney Ridge Center as a Bottleworks festival early on before Brouwer’s Café was open, in 2005 when we opened it was with this festival, what a way to kick it all off. In one way or another the festival has continued ever year since. And it will continue.

With beers hailing from as far away as Middleton, England, to beers made just down the street from Brouwer's Cafe, you're invited to stop in today or tomorrow. Plus, to reward the journey, here is the draft list featured Saturday and Sunday, February 26th & 27th.

2022 Lumberbeard BA Barleywine 16.2% ABV

---- Machine House Barleywine in Cask 10.5% ABV

2021 Matchless Ol’Lifewine in Cask 13.4% ABV

---- Midnight Sun The Curse 12% ABV

---- North Fork Dad of Son Of Frog 11.5% ABV

2015 Oakshire Barleywine 10.4% ABV

2019 Old Schoolhouse Brewer’s Reserve 10.5% ABV

2021 Pelican Mother of All Storms 14% ABV

---- pFriem Bourbon Barrel-Aged Barleywine 11% ABV

2019 Reuben’s Brews 3 Ryes Men 13.7% ABV

2012 Sierra Nevada Bigfoot 9.6% ABV

2019 Skookum Barrenwood 11% ABV

---- Three Magnets Old Skook Whiskey Bbl-aged 11.6% ABV

---- Varietal Ritual of Oblivion 12% ABV

2012 Anchor Old Foghorn 9.4% ABV

2019 Big Time Old Wooly 10.3% ABV

---- Boneyard Barrel-aged Mr. Centaur 13% ABV

---- Block 15 Hypnosis 12.5% ABV

2017 Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA 18% ABV

2021 Ecliptic Rye Barrel-Aged Orange Giant 15% ABV

2021 Engine House #9 Sekiu Barrel-aged Barleywine Batch 2 10% ABV

---- Evil Twin Freudian Slip Barleywine 10.5% ABV

2021 Ex Novo Nevermore 12.1% ABV

2019 Fremont Brew 3000 13.2% ABV

2020 Fremont Ye Olde Centaur 10% ABV

2013 Firestone Walker Sucaba 12.5% ABV

---- Fort George Etym 15.1% ABV

---- Fort George Etymology 14.7% ABV

---- Fort George Ology 14.9% ABV

---- Georgetown Magpie Tiny Town 15.3% ABV

2018 Hair of the Dog Doggie Claws 11.5% ABV

2010 J.W. Lees Harvest Ale Calvados EN Cask 11.5% ABV

Besides the preceding barleywines, Brouwer's Cafe will also feature ales and lagers, not associated with HardLiver just in case you're more in the mood for a kriek, a pilsner, or an ipa. For a list of everything on draft or that is edible Saturday and Sunday, visit https://bit.ly/3vkQdL8 for beers and https://bit.ly/3syjKiZ for food. Or, just show up and ask your server. Last, if you do come for the barleywines, you're asked to review the menu itemized numerically, and order by number and glass volume listed in the price breakdown (e.g. number 1 12, or number 16 8).

For more information on Brouwer's Cafe, visit https://www.brouwerscafe.com/.

About Brouwer’s Cafe

We have 64 craft beers on draft, a selection of over 400 bottles from both the U.S. and abroad, an exceptional selection of Scotch and American Whisk(e)ys and a full service bar, and Belgian-inspired cuisine.

Our Belgian-inspired cuisine includes our versions of Belgian classics such as pommes frites (true Belgian fried potatoes), stoofvlees (a thick Belgian stew served on Frites), and the Belgian staple of moules-frites. We also serve a variety of sandwiches, such as our very popular lamb burger, which is ground in house. We also have a selection of salads, desserts, and a rotating specials menu.

We serve Seattle's Fremont neighborhood seven days a week, opening at 11 am. Our "Power Hour" is from 3 pm to 6 pm everyday and boasts a delicious selection of small plates and $1 off all draft beers and well cocktails.

from Northwest Beer Guide - News - The Northwest Beer Guide https://bit.ly/3vmP4mw

#Beer #News #Brewery

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bigfootmountain · 3 years

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Mount Shasta, is a 14,179-foot dormant volcano that dominates the North State landscape, has inspired countless other admirers since well before the founding of the United States. Local Native Americans believe the mountain is the center of the universe and inhabited by the Great Spirit. Others say that advanced beings called Lemurians inhabit a city called Telos hidden within Shasta. UFOs and Bigfoot frequent the mountain, some claim. Here is just of them...

Virgil Larson's 1976 tale of his encounter with a man-beast on the forested slopes of California's Mount Shasta ranks among the most incredible of all Bigfoot stories. Larson had lived much of his life among the trees, so when he heard footsteps approaching him one day as he sat smoking at the base of a tall Douglas fir, he remained at ease. He looked back casually to see a tall figure moving toward him at first and then veering away. Thinking it was a ranger coming to inquire about his forest activities, he shouted a greeting. The figure glanced back, but continued walking away, eventually dropping out of sight.

Curious, Larson stood up to see where the "man" might have gone. Suddenly, according to Larson's story, the figure emerged from behind a bush and gazed at him with an ominous expression. Larson was stunned. This was no man, Larson recalls, but a large beast, about 7 feet tall with dark hair covering its entire body. Larson stood frozen for a moment. Then, as the beast turned and disappeared into the forest, Larson ran in the opposite direction to find his partner, Pat Conway. He told Conway about what he saw, and together they went back to the site to investigate the area. There was no sign of the creature, but a foul stench remained in the area where it had been seen last.

Excerpts from The Turlock Journal

And Animal Planet

Art by Colin Shulver

#cryptozoology #bigfoot #bigfootmountain #bigfootsighting #cryptids #bigfootisreal #bigfootsightings

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engaged19times · 3 years

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RHONJ Recrap - season 11, ep 1 - C U Next Tuesday!

Greetings fellow prostitution whores and welcome to my new weekly recrap of American institution The Real Housewives of New Jersey! Before I jump in I’ll introduce myself by saying that I’m a housewives super fan (I even watched DC, an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst sister-in-law), an underemployed comedy writer (I can’t define “napalm” either, Lauren Manzo), and nothing makes me happier than to watch 6 bedazzled hypocrites in Cheesecake Factory mansions argue etiquette and loyalty between physical altercations in the world renowned cultural hub of Paterson, New Jersey. I know essay recaps are a bit of a relic but I am fond of ye olde written word so please enjoy this blast from the past, you scumbags!

We open without fanfare mid-scene to red-eyed Jackie and dead-eyed Teresa sitting in Margaret’s partially finished, wallpaper smothered home. We get the Bad Girls Club black-and-white flashes but unlike in Beverly Hills we’re not flashing to “three months earlier” but instead to “three days earlier.” It might take women of less gumption precious time to build to a production-halting confrontation but it only takes these agents of chaos half a week to get the meatball rolling.

Let’s back up a little to the ominous “three days prior” and catch up with our hot girls. It’s Jackie’s giant hot husband’s 46th birthday so she’s throwing him a party under a tent in the parking lot of a Greek restaurant. We learn that Teresa and Joe’s father has sadly passed in the offseason and Dolores Thee Stallion and Margaret have both had full cosmetic overhauls - Dolores with a second butt enhancement that left her with a giant hip scar rivaled only by Sally from Nightmare before Christmas and Margaret with a boob lift and apparent nipple sharpening (is that a procedure?) that she advertises in a blush silk top with no bra. Never one to be outdone at a parking lot birthday party, Joe Gorga arrives with his storyline - I mean wife, Melissa - also smuggling raisins under a skin tight children’s white T-shirt. Nipples are trending, ladies!

The Nightmare Before Christmas.

A beautiful boob lift.

Tarzan’s headlights.

Margaret’s hot employee Lexi and Teresa’s hot realtor Michelle (both of whom are official friends-of this year), as well as iconic social wrecking ball and Aydin Center for Plastic Surgery mascot Jennifer all saunter in for car park cocktails at this 3D nipple fashion show and as the night devolves we see the cast getting truly shit-housed on shots when out of nowhere storyline sniper Teresa drops the bomb that she heard sexy birthday Bigfoot Evan is cheating on Jackie... more specifically, that he “does stuff” at the gym but mysteriously can’t remember any details or where she heard this head-scratching accusation that draws as many gasps as it does “huhs?” Honest straight people question: do y’all hook up at gyms? And if so, where? Are there co-ed saunas now? Also can one of you explain the allure of Mike and Molly to me? Moving on. Most shocking was that the Perez Hilton of North Jersey doesn’t just drop this wild accusation once, she gleefully skips through this asphalt soiree like a goddamn town crier, addressing everyone she passes like Belle through the town square.

The next day the hard partying crew of Jersey Shore: All Grown Up recovers from their throbbing hangovers and we see cool mom Melissa traipsing through her particle board mausoleum in see-through sweatpants with a visible thong in front of her kids’ friends (you girls keep me young!), Marge Sr. driving a blue Mini Cooper with eyelashes on the headlights (which I assume are like the spinning rims of the Jersey Grandma community), and a flashback of Margaret’s Joe puking next to a tree (relatable, my dude).

Marge Sr.: Fully Loaded.

You girls keep me young!

Over at Jennifer’s palatial child farm we learn that her parents fight so much these days that she moved her father (Carl from Up!) to her multi-generational compound which has only angered her mother more.

Jennifer’s sweet dad.

We then find out Dolores’s dry boyfriend David with whom she shares the burning passion of a melting ice sculpture now lives with her bulging slab of a son Frankie Jr. in the house he and Delores built together but Dolores curiously still lives with her also bulging but slightly slimey ex Frank Sr. in her original house, a near Braunwyn-level web of over-explained but still vague relationship fuckery of which none of them seem on the same page. Dolores hid her surgery from David until the day before, David still works constantly so she hangs out with her ex all the time, and I can’t help but think that we aren’t getting the full story on whatever the fuck is happening under these two roofs. Are they brother-husbands? Is Frank Sr. piping both of them? Can Frankie Jr. DM me his nudes please? The only one being straight-forward in these duel households of confusion is Dolores’s dog who is simply named Dog and I honestly appreciate his refreshing transparency.

Dog Catania, king of transparency.

Finally, Jackie calls Teresa to organize an infamous Jersey sit-down because she somehow got wind of the out-of-thin-air accusations that Teresa all but presented with a bull horn and a PowerPoint at Evan’s parking lot social. They decide to meet at Margaret’s partially constructed house/ wallpaper showroom because it’s neutral territory to hash things out in a relaxing landscape of ladders and contrasting patterns and the tension is so thick you could cut it with one of Margaret’s newly renovated nipples.

Jackie pleads with Tre to clear her husband’s good name and Tre enters a baffling Kelly-Anne Conway bullshit loop which includes such hits as “woman to woman, if I heard this you wouldn’t want me to tell you?” (a reasonable point which is actually working against Teresa because it’s the opposite of what she did), then explaining to Margaret the immediately contradictory “I didn’t tell her and it’s not like I told Evan, I told my friends” (which is an explanation of what she obviously did wrong but said in the tone of a defense), the wacky last ditch nonsense deflection “Alright let me tell you the reason why I did it. This year, now, you know I’m single now. I’ve been approached by a lot of married men that think that it’s OK to have affairs,” and finally just saying fuck it and rewriting history “I did not spread a rumor, I heard a rumor.”

The truth is that Teresa was retaliating for a cheating rumor Jackie entertained about her last year but neither can be held to such unreasonable expectations like addressing reality or admitting fault which is actually ideal because if I cared to see emotionally mature community leaders converse thoughtfully I’d watch Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday not this unhinged turnpike circus.

Jackie’s rival won’t budge so she chooses the nuclear option, looks the reigning matriarch of Paterson in her vacant eyes, and declares confidently “I heard Gia snorts coke in the bathroom at parties” which stopped time on Earth as far as I’m concerned. Is this wild accusation true? Probably not. Was this retaliatory tit equal to the offending tat? Debatable. Do I blame Teresa for immediately whipping into a tailspin and storming out screaming the C-word (no Kathy Wakile, not “canoli kit”) at Jackie no less than 80 times? Girl, no I do not. Jackie has since clarified (backtracked?) that this was an analogy not a rumor she heard which... OK, and whether or not either of the atomic bombs dropped in this breakneck premiere were true, I’m excited to watch our Paterson superstars battle it out for another batshit season!

Esteemed poet laureat of Paterson, NJ.

Join me and my own rock hard nipples next week to recrap a girls trip to Lake George, more developments in the case of Jackie vs Teresa: Jersey Crime Story, and hopefully another cameo by breakout superstar Dog Catania! Please share this recrap with the prostitution whores in your life if you enjoy and follow me on Tumblr (engaged19times), Insta (@engagednineteentimes), and Twitter (@_engaged19times)! I’m recrapping weekly but I don’t get screeners (yet) and it takes me a few days to catch up so please be patient!

XO engaged19times

#rhonj #real housewives #teresa giudice #margaret josephs #jennifer aydin #jackie goldschneider #Dolores Catania #melissa gorga #bravo #bravotv #real housewives of New Jersey #recrap #engaged19times

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hyenaswine · 1 year

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we went to the North American Bigfoot Center in Boring, OR. i spent $65 in the gift shop.

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lyselkatzfandomluvs · 4 years

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My edits - Masterpost

Making a MASTERLIST for my edits because I’m losing track of what’s done and what’s in my to-do folders.

EDIT: looks like the links aren’t working on mobile anymore. They point to results on the whole tumblr instead of just on my blog. I don’t kow how to fix this so I’m afraid the only solution is to seach for the film title on my blog.

Band of Brothers cast

They are under the tag #My BoB cast edits (outsourced content and reblogs from other content creators, mostly for those with wider fan-base, are tagged #BoB cast) and with the actor’s name or the serie/movie title.

Feel free to send me an ask if there’s anything you’d like to see from BoB and its cast

Ensemble

Band of Brothers (obviously 😝)

Ron Livingston's bootcamp video diary

Wales Comic Con 2020 twitch panel

We happy few 506 zoom panels

Doug Allen

Sherlock (BBC)

Jamie Bamber

A Christmas in New York

Hornblower

Eion Bailey

Center stage

Covert affairs

Dawson's creek

Deliver by Christmas

FBI

Fight Club

Life of the party

Mindhunters

Nightmares and Dreamscapes

Stalker

Switched for Christmas

Philip Barantini

Ned Kelly

Ben Caplan

Leap year

New blood

The coroner

The lost honour of Christopher Jefferies

Whitechapel

Michael Cudlitz

21 Jump street

A river runs through it

Dark tourist

Dragon : The Bruce Lee story

Kings of con

SouthLAnd

Standoff

Dale Dye

44 minutes: The North Hollywood Shoot-Out

Michael Fassbender

Gunpowder, treason & plot

Dexter Fletcher

Below

Bugsy Malone

Caravaggio

Dramarama

Gentlemen in squalor

Hotel Babylon

Lock, stock and two smoking barrels

The Rachel papers

Music video - Kylie Minogue "Some kind of bliss"

Stephen Graham

Boardwalk empire

Ezra Godden

Dagon

Quarantine "Isolation" videos

Rick Gomez

Applebox

Daily Rick’s tips

Hawaii five-0

Law and order

Leave

The adventures of Pete & Pete

The millionaire Tour

The week

Three to tango

Interview - Your story interview with Christine Schneider

Scott Grimes

Critters

Colin Hanks

Parkland

Tom Hardy

Colditz

Nolan Hemmings

Black Book

Colour me Kubrick

Dive to the Bermuda Triangle

Heartbeat

Pump up the volume

Sharpe’s eagle

The Aryan couple

The Mahabharata

Frank John Hughes

Applebox

Blue lagoon: the awakening

Cover Me: Based on the True Life of an FBI Family

Homicide: Life on the streets

Leave

Legends

NCIS

Players

Righteous kill

The Funeral

The Guardian

The week

Viper

Lucie Jeanne

Central nuit

Joséphine ange gardien

L’été rouge

Relic hunter

Robin Laing

Beautiful creatures

Dive to the Bermuda Triangle

Doors open

Murder room

Taggart

The coroner

The lakes

The slab boys

Waking the dead

Matthew Leitch

AKA

Below

Mile high

Renford rejects

Strike back

Damian Lewis

Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker

A touch of Frost

Colditz

Life

The baker

Ron Livingston

44 minutes: The North Hollywood Shoot-Out

Addicted to Fresno

American crude

Applebox

Beat

Boardwalk empire

Body shots

Buying the cow

Defying gravity

Dice

Digging for fire

Dinner for schmucks

Nightmares and Dreamscapes

Drinking buddies

Fort bliss

Going the distance

James White

King of the ants

Kings of con

Leave

Little black book

Loudermilk

Music within

Office Space

Parkland

Players

Queens of country (trailer)

Relative strangers

Saints and strangers

Sex and the city

Shangri-La suite

Shimmer lake

Standoff

Straight talk

Swinger

The 5th Wave

The conjuring

The cooler

The long dumb road

The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot

The Romanoffs

The sidekick

Timecop

Touchy feely

Tully

Interview - Off camera with Sam Jones

Interview - Alexander Valley Film Society

Misc - Keyboard cat

James Madio

Applebox

Hook

Leave

The week

Tim Matthews

Five children and It

Heartbeat

Judge John Deed

Music video - "Taking chances”

Ross McCall

A Christmas in New York

A country Christmas story

Crash

CSI: New York

Ghost whisperer

Hex

It’s not you, it’s me

Lucifer

Nature unleashed: Fire

Pie in the sky

Quarantine : Rome

Rome in love

Snake man/The snake king

Submerged

The beautiful ones

Waterland

White collar

Neal McDonough

Boomtown

Quantum leap

Jason O'Mara

Sons of liberty

The Agency

Peter O'Meara

Leap year

Strike back

Bart Ruspoli

Devil’s playground

David Schwimmer

Uprising

Matthew Settle

Beneath

Blue smoke

Criminal minds- Beyond borders

Divine secrets of the Ya-Ya sisterhood

I still know what you did last summer

Love, sick love

Marshall’s miracle

Ouija

So undercover

The Celestine prophecy

The in crowd

The mystery of Natalie Wood

U-571

Valentine

Douglas Spain

44 minutes: The North Hollywood Shoot-Out

Richard Speight Jr

3 Blind saints

American crude

Applebox

Driven

J.A.G.

Jericho

Kings of con

Life

Matlock

The agency

The sidekick

The week

Shane Taylor

Agriculture

Aura/The exorcism of Karen Walker

Devil’s playground

Hunter killer

Quirke

Sons of liberty

Strike Back

The day of the Triffids

Walking with the enemy

Music video - Stalker Miller "Jenny"

Donnie Wahlberg

Boomtown

Dead silence

Righteous kill

The sixth sense

Rick Warden

Shackleton

Marc Warren

Colour me Kubrick

Peter Youngblood Hills

AKA

Michel Vaillant

Submerged

The beach

The marksman

********

MISC EDITS

James Badge Dale

Parkland

Scott Bakula

Quantum leap

Rob Benedict

Kings of con

The sidekick

Misha Collins

Dave Franco

interview GQ 2014

Misc - LG, It's all possible

Lena Headey

Waterland

Ilia Kulik

Center stage

Alessandra Mastronardi

Quarantine : Rome

Helen McCrory

Life

Ewan McGregor

Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker

Joe Mazzello

Wooly boys

Piper Perabo

Covert affairs

Norman Reduus

Beat

Zoe Saldana

Center stage

Michael Sheen

Music within

Brian J. Smith

World on Fire (BBC)

Sebastian Stan

Misc - Save with stories

Tom Wisdom

Mile high

#band of brothers #band of brothers cast #my edits #masterpost #can't edit with a cut on the phone #and tumblr won't let me keep my gifset layout on laptop #so I chose to put one simgle gif instead #i love this place but it's always a nightmare if I need editing my posts #my BoB edits #my BoB cast edits #my gifs

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