#OH FUCK DISTURBED’s COVER OF THE SOUND OF SILENCE IS ON HERE

[kissitbttr]

this is miguel o’hara being a dick

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem!reader

-

miguel knows he’s fucked.

he has been neglecting you, putting his work above your needs and ditched on dates he can’t count with his fingers. at first you were okay, given that you’re dating such a busy man like him, you understand the consequences.

but you’ve had enough. there were nights where you cooked dinner, only to be left untouched by him or where you softly cried yourself in the middle of the night because he was still out. the only time he comes home is when you’re already asleep, then he left to the HQ in the morning before you’ve gotten the chance to wake up.

you confronted him about this. paid a visit to his office before going to work. Jess and Lyla had warned you to not disturb him but you managed to make them back off with a single frightening look.

yes. they are scared of you. a lot of them are. they do not want to test you at all.

the moment you stepped into his office, he didn’t even bother to look. eyes were just too focused on his work that he assumed Jess was the one who walked in.

“oh, you’re fucking your co-worker now?” your tone laced with sarcasm and anger with arms crossed over your chest,

hearing the familiar voice, he had never whipped his head so fast. “y/n? what are you doing here?”

“well” you start, heels clicking against the floor as you step towards him. “since my boyfriend has been MIA for almost a week i figured i should stopped by.”

his head shook, turning his focus back to what he thought mattered most. “not right now, mi amor. I’m working.”

“i can see that, dumbass” you respond in a cold tone. frowning as to why he couldn’t take one second off from that god damn screen. “you and me are going to get breakfast together. now. before i go to work.”

“i told you I can’t. I’m busy” he replies, brushing you off with his hand. “next time.”

“i’m a busy woman too!” your voice shakes, wanting so bad to scream at him and throw that tiny desk at his head. “but I always want to make time for you, Miguel!”

no response. he muttered something under his breath but you couldn’t hear him.

un-fucking-believable

“you’re such a fucking asshole, you know that?” tone laced with venom as you spit the words. clenching your fists by your side as you struggle to hold back the tears. “i feel like this relationship is one sided, the only person that is truly making an effort is me. you don’t—“

Miguel couldn’t take it anymore. he threw a desk and it went flying, thankfully it didn’t hit you. though your eyes went wide in shock, a loud gasp left your lips as you covered your mouth with your hands.

“you’re right! I don’t! I don’t care about some silly little fucking breakfast when the universe depends on me!” he pointed at himself as his irises turned red when he looked at you. his breathing went heavy and he still wasn’t aware how scared you were at him at that point.

“do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to keep all this shit together?! how many people will die if i don’t do what i gotta do! I don’t always like it, y/n but i have to do it! and here you are trying to play house with me it’s fucking pathetic!” he scoffed, putting his hands on hips.

oh he did not realize how much his words hurt.

the room was filled with silence. you stared at him in disbelief but remained a stoic expression. you were taught better than to be weak before any men. Miguel was no exception. your mother would be disappointed if you let a man win.

“wow” you breathed, nodding. “that was a good speech actually, the longest one I’ve ever heard you talking” you tried to sound sarcastic but how you felt and how you sounded failed you.

Miguel was quick to notice this and his features quickly soften. he reached out quickly to hold you.

“cariño i—“

“I’m returning back to my apartment by five. do not fucking look for me” it was final. the way you said it, how your eyes remained empty as you spoke to him. Miguel knew better than to test you,

but he just did and now he’s paying the price,

his heart broke when he heard you said that. you were so tired of him and you just wanted him back. you want your man back but he couldn’t see how that mattered to you.

“baby, please—“

you held your hand as you turned around. “don’t you even think about sending Jess or Miles my way.”

with that you walked out of his office without uttering another word. leaving him speechless and heartbroken. he knew better than to follow you out, it would just make things worse. he was just going to let you cool off.

he didn’t know how long it was gonna take.

it has been almost a month that you two have been living separately. and he’s losing his mind. he can’t sleep, he can’t eat, he can barely walk out of the house without seeing all the things that remind him of you. the team even sensed something is wrong because he has been more short tempered than before and it almost made the rest of spider society terrified of talking to him.

he’s gotten more violent, that’s for sure. every enemy he encountered, he would leave them bleed with their faces unrecognizable. it was his way of taking his stress out. not exactly healthy but it’ll do for now.

but he thinks that this has gotten too far. he misses you terribly, your scent, your laugh, your voice, your body, and mostly… your pussy

God, the amount of times he sniffed your panties while he jacked off as the image of you clouded his mind was simply not enough.

and now here he stands before your apartment door. dressed nicely in a white buttoned up shirt with his sleeves rolled to the elbows and a pair of black pants. his ring cladded fingers nervously grip around the boquete as the other hand shoved into his pocket.

Miguel had never been this nervous before. toeing his shoes and tapping his toes against the floor rapidly. it’s probably already been fifteen minutes that he’s standing like that staring at your door. thinking far too carefully what he wants to say.

he decides it’s now or never as he raises his fist and knock softly against the wooden door, hoping that you’re home.

“coming!” he hears your voice, his stomach somersaults hearing that after what it felt like a thousand year. “i am so hungry, why are you delivery guys always taking so—“

soon as you open the door, you freeze. definitely not the takeout delivery boy and instead it’s the one person you’ve been avoiding for God knows how long.

Miguel’s mouth hangs open slightly as he slowly taking in the sight of the gorgeous woman before him. you put on your favorite lime green night gown that stops just above your knees with a white silky robe, your hair fall down gracefully. natural curls framing your face. eyes glinting under the light, he almost falls to his knees and thank the Lord for your existence.

beauty doesn’t even begin to describe how you look tonight.

Miguel realizes how he probably looks like an idiot. clearing his throat to regain his composure as he smiles awkwardly at you. “Hi.”

you stare at him as your features then showcase a displeased expression. “what are you doing here?”

you’re leaning your body against the doorframe, arms crossed in annoyance. eyes flickering from his face to the flowers he’s holding and back up to his eyes. as much as you hate to see him, you can’t help that little feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see the flowers he’s holding.

tulips. your favorite

he takes a one step closer to your frame, breathing out a sigh as he looks down at you. “I’m sorry, mi amor.”

that earns a scoff from you, looking away. “good start.”

“i was a horrible boyfriend.” he admits, gulping as he sees how sadness and exhaustion taking over your face just like that. “you don’t deserve that. what i said to you that day… none of it was true. you were not… pathetic, nor were the idea of having breakfast together… I appreciate every single thing we’ve done together, baby. believe me, por favor…”

a hard stare is the only thing he gets from you. the way your lips form into an angry pout and how your eyes seem to get tired and bored from his confession.

you’re a difficult person to please. he knows that.

“i know that being stress is no excuse of what I’ve done… I should’ve—fuck I should’ve done better. a month without you was like hell, mi corazon. ay, me sentí como si estuviera perdiendo la cabeza.” he sighs in frustration, head shaking as he recalls many sleepless nights. “i love you so so much. i do not want to go through that again … i know that it’s going to take forever to get your trust back and everything, but i swear on my mother’s grave that i—“

“stop talking”

he shuts his mouth after that. eyes looking up to you when he realizes you’re talking to him after a prolonged silence that’s taking over.

seeing how broken he looks almost feels like your heart got plucked. as mean as you are or as much as you wanted to look like you don’t care, you can’t when it comes to Miguel. you love this man far too much and despite his cold cold persona, that’s a huge sweetheart underneath.

“you hurt me, Miguel.” eyes casting down the floor as you try to keep your voice low. “you threw a desk to my direction…”

he shakes his head at that, resisting the urge to cradle your cheek. “lo siento, mi amor. I didn’t mean—“

“yes i know, i heard you.” you sigh, eyes closed momentarily. “you scared me”

Miguel feels his heart breaks when he hears how your voice breaks. he carefully lifts his hand to softly palm your cheek, thumb grazing against the skin. he exhales a soft sigh when you aren’t pushing him off.

“I didn’t mean to do that to you, my love. fuck, I’ve hurt you. i will never forgive myself for that. i was supposed to be the one who protect you and i was being a huge asshole.”

“a cute one though” you pout at him,

he chuckles at that, feeling the tension between you two are finally cutting down. “you’re too sweet, baby… after all i had done to you”

“nothing compared to how you treated me for the past two and a half years.” you smile sweetly at him, hand wrapping around his wrist. feeling at home once he holds you in his palm. “still a good man.”

he shakes his head in disagreement. “no, no that doesn’t excuse it… i was in the wrong.”

you hum in response, looking at the pretty flowers still in his hand. “are those for me?”

he nods with a smile, “you’re my only woman, no?”

you bite the inside of your cheek as you smile, taking it from his grasp as you sniff the pretty petals. “i love them. thank you.”

he once again goes quiet, taking another step closer. eyes looking down at your glossy lips and he can’t take it anymore. he doesn’t care if he’s stepping boundaries here. “i miss you, cariño. can i show you just how much?”

his offer sends shiver down your spine, making it impossible for you to stand still. Miguel always knows your sweet spot, how to make your knees feel wobbly without having him to touch you.

you do miss him touching you,

“i have a ballet class to teach tomorrow, papi. Saturday morning class, you remember ?” a pout formed on your lips, yet you still allow him to pull you close to him as he closes the door behind. “plus don’t you have work too? i bet Jess needs you.”

Migue nearly growls at you calling him ‘papi’. his jeans growing tight as you look up to him with doe eyes that you know he loves. though sometimes, you don’t understand the effect you have on him.

“that can wait… you’re more important to me than anything” he whispers, giving your open hand a kiss. large palm coming down to grip your waist, giving it a light squeeze. “do you want me too?”

you respond with a slow nod, biting back a smile as you interlock your hand with his pulling him inside. his smirk grows wider as he leans over to capture your mouth in his,

“let me fuck you real good then we can come home, eh mi vida?” he promises against your lips, slipping your soft silky robe off of you before picking you up in bridal style causing to shriek and giggle,

“i wanna hear you scream my name.”

-

part 2?

[bombsonboard]

metal arm brrr

Summary: Every problem needs a solution. Bucky just isn't the biggest fan of yours.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1k

Tags: Fluff in the highest degree, old married couple, Swearing (It's Bucky, duh)

A/N: I just needed to give you guys something, it's been too long since i've written on here and you guys are the best :) I've barely checked this over so I apologize for any typos.

*****

“Can you stop moving, please?” 

Bucky Barnes half asleep is not someone you want to mess with. The first time you shuffled he had hardly made a sound, the second you were met with a low grumble (a warning you knew well) and the third strike, he was thirty seconds from kicking you out of the bed. 

When Bucky had finally learnt to sleep in a bed again, mostly thanks to you, he steadily became a big fan of his beauty sleep and god help anyone who ended up disturbing him. He had a lot to catch up on. Once, you had violently shaken him awake because his phone was ringing and when he heard Sam on the other line, you were deemed a ‘sleep thief’ for a week and a half after. Bucky Barnes was a bitch when it came to his sleep. 

You usually wouldn't have any complaints about being in his vice grip but it was January and the nights were still cold and having a boyfriend with a metal arm meant that you were held to him with an ice cold grip around your waist. When the Summer came, it was a life saver, your own personal refrigerator but you still had a good few months to go before you were hanging off his arm everyday. 

“Sorry.” You mumbled and tried to convince yourself you were comfortable without another word.

Nope, can’t do it. You shift again. 

“You’re kidding- what is it?” He pulls away from you and sits up on his elbow, glaring, he dares you. “Go on.”

With the most innocent doe eyes you could muster you slip your bottom lip between your teeth and debate the argument you could spark when your gaze slips to his vibranium arm in the semi darkness.

He doesn’t miss a thing, you’ve come to realize.

“I swear if you say-”

“-It’s cold! I’m cold! It’s just too much cold!” You burst, arms flailing in desperation. 

“It’s my arm! You said you wanted to sleep on my left, this is my left arm, nothing I can do. Okay?”

“There has to be something.” You search the room for solutions, briefly lingering on the sock drawer. 

“Oh yeah, sorry, let me just take it off.” Bucky grunts, dripping with sarcasm. 

“...If you could?”

“Seriously, fuck you.” 

Bucky falls back into his beloved pillow, eyes shut and wishing he has chosen a partner that let him sleep peacefully, then again, why would he want that when you exist?

“Look, either come to the other side or deal with it.” 

Silence finally reaches your bedroom and Bucky is deeply in dreamland while you lie awake, scheming away. 

In the early hours, you slip out of bed without a sound and make a beeline for the sock drawer, knowing you had some old pairs of slipper socks stuffed at the back. Scissors in hand, you snipped off the toes and smiled at the D.I.Y leg warmers. Oh, he was gonna be mad. 

With nearly medical precision, you held out the slumbering Bucky’s arm in front of you and one by one, slid the fluffy socks up the freezing metal until it was sufficiently covered. Thanking the universe, he was a pretty heavy sleeper, you shuffled back under the covers and happily wrapped the soft arm back around your waist. 

You slept like a lamb after that.

*****

When the morning came, you woke up before him like usual and briefly left him to his own devices as you made coffee, two mugs sitting on the counter beside each other. 

Through the wall, you faintly hear the rising of the soldier before heavy footsteps quickly storm in your direction.

“The fuck is this?”

You look up to see him in the doorway, and find yourself the subject of a stare that would send millions running. Not you. The multicolored socks lined up his arm kind of softened his hoped effect and you had to stifle your laughter. 

“A solution?” You shrug.

“No.” He points at you with his flesh arm accusingly “Nu-uh. This? This is not how we solve things.”

“Is it not? I’m really digging the rainbow on you.” The giggle you had tried to push down had spilled over.

“You’re a fucking menace.” 

The giggle now a full bodied laugh that had you clutching at your chest as you were overcome with the image of your big, scary, ‘world’s most deadly assassin’ boyfriend glaring daggers at you while donning the most fluffy and most colorful socks up his arm.

Bucky was fighting a grin with all his might, your laughter was like an ugly disease, incredibly contagious, hard to avoid, and annoying.

Something soft hits you in the face and you halt your hysterics as you peer at the slipper sock now at your feet. Lifting your gaze, Bucky is smiling smugly, and working a second sock off his arm. 

“Bucky!” You yelp and duck under the counter as the rainbow sock flies in slow motion over your head. 

You probably shouldn’t poke the bear but-

“Y’know, for the best shot the United States army had ever seen you sure do miss a lot.” You taunt from your hiding spot.

When there's no response, you make a break for the couch and get shot squarely in the forehead.

“Say that again.” He dares with narrowed eyes.

“Okay, truce. Truce!” You raise your hands in surrender. 

“Say sorry for last night.” The pink ball of fluff in his hands, a deadly fate, and you’re consigned to concede

“I apologize for last night.” You sigh, approaching him with caution “Now, it’s been ten whole minutes and you still haven’t subjected me to your obscene morning breath.”

He beckons you with his head and you happily plod over, throwing your arms around his neck. The kiss is sweet, and full of promised mornings to come.

It’s welcomed by you. Until you feel the coldest thing known to man, his left arm, writhing under your shirt and sending immediate shivers down your back. 

“Bucky!” You screech and his strong laughter descends on your morning with malice.

Desperately wiggling out of his hold, you escape to the bedroom and yell from your stronghold:

“That was an act of war James Buchanan Barnes!”

[a-simple-imagine]

Bigender asian with pronoun fuckery

synopsis: you're a rising star at godu. just cracked the top ten but a budding relationship with jordan li may bring everything crumbling down

pairing: jordan li x fem!reader

words: 5.2k+

a/n - not sure how i feel about this but i am putting it out there. if this gets enough attention, I can work on another part that goes a little deeper?? I use all pronouns for Jordan but mainly they/them

WARNINGS - swearing and drug use

a groggy groan slips past your lips as you bury your face further into the gentle embrace of the pillow. it is early. too early. you have no clue what time it actually is but whatever the case may be, you weren't ready for the day to start just yet. it takes a moment to realise you're alone in this bed. you hadn't been when you fell asleep. it doesn't bother you too much though. they're probably just getting ready. that is until you hear a curse word muttered quietly; perhaps an attempt to not disturb you or maybe they just wanted to hide their frustration. "what are you doing?" your words half muttered into the pillow.

"rankings are out." that was it? rankings? you sometimes forget how competitive they can be. it's not like you're not interested. you've wanted that top spot since freshman year. alas, golden boy holds that spot and you'd never be a pretty blonde white boy if you tried. this semester you've been working extra hard. Everyone knows you're in the best chance of scoring a city contract if you can break the top ten but the seven? they want the best of the best. sure it's not impossible to be lower and also become part of the team, the deep managed it, but that was an anomaly. most supes just end up as walking advertisements for vought. and as much as you may enjoy the occasional acting class. you weren't here to end up on some CW show or a Netflix special. you were gonna make it into the seven. you were gonna prove to everyone that you are one of the best.

"who cares," you mumble, rolling onto your back and spreading your arms out wide.

"oh, so you don't care that you're now second."

"come back to bed." you urge. a silence seals the room until your brain catches up to what it just heard. did they say second? as in second place? as in one spot away from first? you didn't mishear that. sitting up, you eventually spy a feminine presenting Jordan sitting at her desk, illuminated by the blue glow of their tablet. their short bob falls to one side. a perfect backdrop for such a pretty face "Are you fucking with me?" they don't bother responding just shove the tablet out in your direction. grabbing it you see your school ID photo with a massive '#2' next to it. you blink a few times. scroll down a little. refresh the page. but again it's still there. it was real. "fuck"

"My thoughts exactly," Jordan reacts. you glimpse at them wondering what that comment means. it could merely be a jest or a reflection of their current mood. you take a moment to look at the rest of the list in search of their name. they were no longer top three. you found them sitting nicely at number five. double fuck. you had taken their spot. they're still top ten which most would be happy with but not Jordan. tossing the tablet aside, you drop back against the bed. letting your eyes fall closed. "we have class in like an hour."

"I don't need to go to class. I'm number two now," you press.

"not how that works," A dramatic groan falls past your lips, pulling the covers up over your head. bed sounded better than a morning lecture. you wish they would just join you or leave you be. "get out of my bed." Jordan huffs after a moment. "we're gonna be late." you don't move. you frankly don't care. "if you don't hurry up, no breakfast."

"fucks sake." you whine, emerging from beneath the darkness of the duvet. "fine. I'll let you buy me Jitterbean."

"thought so," they offer you a tight smile. you could never say no to a free treat before class. "chop-chop."

Drink in one hand, pastry in the other, you're feeling brighter as you stroll into class. Jordan trails behind you. they'd been usually quiet on the walk over. you put it down to all the attention you were attracting today. couldn't even walk across campus without people asking for pictures or saying hi. you weren't sure you liked it just yet but for right now it was fine. when you spot cate you offer a scrunched up smile which she quickly returns. you and cate had been friends since day one. something just clicked. "there she is," cate starts as you approach your usual spot in class. "the girl of the hour. you're literally all anyone can talk about."

"aren't i always," you tease.

"we're going out tonight"

"are you asking-" you begin as Dean Shetty strides into the room. guess brink was out today. "or telling me?"

"telling," cate's smile quirks up before she turns to focus on the class. guess that was the end of that conversation.

you linger by your desk as everyone else filters out of the room after class. Dean Shetty requested a word. you can't imagine what it's about. surely she isn't that bothered by your attempts at chatting through her lecture. you offer up an awkward little smile as you push off the desk you were leaning against; slowly making you way across the room. "so what have I done wrong?"

"you mean other than talking through the entire class," you internally cringe a little. maybe she was bothered by all the whispering. she watches you for a moment before continuing. "it is nothing like that. don't worry."

"then why am I here?"

"I just thought we should have a little chat." your brow furrows. what did you and the dean of an entire university have to discuss? was this about your ranking? was she about to tell you there had been a mistake? "I believe congratulations are in order- such an extensive jump in ranking, you must be proud."

this felt like a conversation that could have been an email. "sure. thanks." you shrug. you're not really sure what to say. of course, you're proud. you were the second highest ranked student in a school of exceptional kids. "is that all?"

"no," her head shakes a little. I wanted to make sure you understand the gravity of the position you're in." when you don't respond she decides to just continue. "being a superhero is about more than just your abilities. it's also about how you present yourself. people care about you. they wanna know what you're doing. who you're hanging out with. One minute you're taking a picture with a nice girl you met at a party the next you're fighting nazi allegations for hanging out with a white supremacist. do you get what I'm saying?"

you shrug. "don't hang out with nazis, got it."

"I'm saying you need to look at yourself more like a brand. Be careful about what you say and who you spend your time with. you're the sum of the people around you."

"I know. I took branding." everyone knew how this worked. being a good person only took you so far and if homelander was anything to go off, that doesn't even matter that much. it's all about how you market yourself. it's about how many followers you have. how much attention you can get. inevitably, how much money can you make for Vought? Dean Shetty smiles but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"you do want to be number one, correct?" you nod a little. "I want to help you get to the top but only if you wanna help yourself."

"what about Luke?"

"he is far from my concern right now." what did that even mean? "so?"

you hesitate. you did want this but you weren't entirely sure what you were agreeing to here. If Dean Shetty can help you secure first place though, maybe it was worth the risk. she was an expert here. should you even bother questioning why the sudden interest in you? "I want this."

"Good," her smile seemed more genuine now. "I know you can go far, just keep in mind what I said."

"I will," you start edging towards the stuff you left on your desk. "thanks."

"also try listening during lectures. I'm sure you and Miss Dunlap can talk some other time."

"Sorry." with that you practically run out of the classroom before she can continue talking.

it's a particularly chilly night smushed in the back seat of an old car. bright lights zoom past the window and music blasts through the speakers. you're not really paying attention to the noise around you. it's a mess of meaningless conversation. Dean Shetty's words play over in your head. She certainly would not approve of this little venture out into the night past curfew; what she didn't know couldn't hurt her. Jordan eventually pulls your attention; in his hand, he holds two small red pills. you don't really question it before popping one into your mouth. a second for later. tonight was gonna be fun or if nothing else you can abuse enough substances to pretend. the secret location is just a massive warehouse. on the outside, you'd think it any old thing. inside you find massive tanks of rainbow fish, long sweeping curtains, jester-themed masquerade masks and other eccentric decor. it is the most random selection and yet it works so well. creates the perfect balance of sexy and mysterious but inviting. you find yourself in a booth with your friends all around. "so how's being number two going for ya?" Andre asks. "feeling the pressure yet?"

"I don't know," you shrug. "people are weird."

"what do you mean?" Luke questions.

"Dean Shetty said some things to me after class."

"-I come bearing gifts." Jordan appears, now in their feminine form with a couple of drinks followed by Marie. "courtesy of the young gentleman at the bar."

"What did Dean Shetty say?"

"it doesn't matter." you shrug it off. "two will never be one right."

"has it not hit yet?" Jordan wonders.

"i know what it's like to suddenly have all this pressure on you but try not to think about it much," Luke reassures you. "just keep doing what you're doing. you've got this."

"my guy. you're supposed to be happy here," Andre leans forward slapping his hand against your leg. "we're out here celebrating you, dude. cheer up."

"I'm plenty happy," you grumble sinking further into your seat. you appreciate their attempt to cheer you up but it's honestly not needed. you're happy to be in second place even with all the newly founded pressure; just a little confused about what was expected of you. "ecstatic even. let's talk about something else."

your head feels fuzzy. nothing feels real anymore. but it's good. great even. you feel so fucking good. like you've rid yourself of every lingering thought that wrapped itself around your body. you're light. you're free. the shimmering blue of the giant fish tanks is so mesmerising; you almost want to climb in but instead, you watch. colours morphing and shifting before your eyes. back and forth. back and forth. you jump a little as something touches your shoulder. "here you are." their words seem distant; muffled even. "you good?" you nod a little continuing to stare at the fish. two hands slip around your waist and connect in front. you feel their body press into yours from behind. you know it's Jordan. you know they're masc. You know them well. their smokey cologne. the way their body feels around you. the subtle differences between both forms. taller. bigger. firm. you let out a content hum. it's a rarity for such open affection. "what are you doing?" whispered in your ear.

"Just watching the fish,"

"why?"

"do you ever wonder what it would be like to be a fish?" you wonder softly. "to just swim around all day without a care in the world… no complex family systems. no pressure to be the best. just… swimming and pretty colours." their chuckle is temperate. affectionate. it almost seems like they somehow get closer.

"you're fucked, huh?"

"I'm good. I'm great," you respond. they just chuckle again, planting a soft kiss on your shoulder. your relationship with Jordan was hardly one of romance. you have slept together. a few times actually. and some kind of feelings are there; at least for you there are but you're not dating. you're just… having fun. maybe you want more. who knows? you don't. would they even want more? probably not. you'd like it. maybe. doesn't matter. they make you feel warm. safe even. and that's all that really matters.

"shall we get you a drink?" you nod a little. "yeah?"

"yeah," you repeat nodding more eagerly. a dopey smile settling on your lips as you let your head fall back; nuzzling against him. "something fruity, please."

"let's get you something fruity," arms vacate your waist replaced with a hand in yours.

"bye fishies," you throw a wave back. "say bye Jordan."

"Absolutely not." they interlock your fingers before leading the way back into the turbulent crowd of the club.

"you're no fun." you groan playfully. weaving through the mass of people back towards the bar, you come across cate. as you approach, Jordan let's go.

"you found her then," shouted over the heavy bass and mess of voices.

"she was alone staring at the fish tanks," they respond.

"the fish were really pretty," you contribute with a bright smile.

"you gotta stop running off, silly."

"but the fishies-"

"I know they're pretty but still," cate continues. "do you wanna come dance?"

"hmmm… yes." you respond brightly. "jordan's gonna get me a drink. jordan get cate one too."

"yeah Jordan, get cate one too." cate repeats playfully. her hand slides into yours and she pulls you towards the dance floor. it's a lot of blurred colours as you sway and move alongside the blonde. she wears a playful smile and smells so good. really sweet. like freshly baked cookies. "are you good?"

"mhmm,"

"you sure?" it's so loud out here. there are so many people around you. it's hard to pick up what is being said.

"I am so good, cate," you respond loudly. "I mean definitely fucked but yeah. are you good?"

"yeah," she nods. "I'm-" the rest of her sentence is impossible to comprehend.

"what?"

cate places her hands on your shoulders bringing you to a stop as she leans in extra close. "i said i'm proud of you."

"you're starting to sound like my mom," you joke. she playfully hits your arm. "but thank you."

"i think you could actually take luke's spot."

"i definitely can." you declare proudly. "dean shetty offered to help."

"really?" cate seems shocked by the idea. "why?"

you shrug. "i'm gonna be in the seven one day." you yell loudly. nobody cares. everyone is being loud. it'd drowned out by everything else. cate stares at you for a moment before letting her smile return.

"fuck yeah, you are," cate shouts. your smile brightens. fuck yeah, you are.

your head pounds with the weight of your bad decisions. maybe you went a little too hard. Nausea settles deep in the pit of your stomach. you think you're gonna throw up. you don't. you breathe deeply through it. a long groan forces its way past your lips as you roll onto your back; stretching out your limbs as far as they go to very little relief. A pain radiates from your left leg. god only knows why. you're just a little achy. how did you even get here? the last thing you remember is dancing with Cate; having fun.

"she's alive," the voice catches you off guard. it sounds like… wait. your eyes finally focus on the person in the room who definitely wasn't your roommate. that black hair. that pretty face. the effortless expression of too cool to be here. jordan li is still in the exact same outfit as last night. why were they here? "how's our newest celebrity?"

there were many ways you could answer but your brain could only come up with. "shitty."

"I bet," they approach the end of your bed, holding out a glass of water. "here."

you slowly push yourself up into a seated position. trying desperately to ignore the intense pressure building in your head. "why are you here?" you ask, accepting the glass and taking a long, big gulp.

"Jordan stayed all night," your roommate, Beth, interjects. By her tone, she was not happy with your newfound company. "would have been nice to know."

"I'm allowed to have people in our room, Beth." you hand the glass back to Jordan before falling back down against the bed. rubbing your eyes with your thumb and forefinger. "I wanna die."

"tell me next time." Beth continues to argue. "instead I wake up to a stranger in our room."

you groan loudly. this was too much talking for your poor delicate head to handle right now. "I'm right here, guys," Jordan insists. "I literally spoke to you last night."

"I'm making a point." your roommate argues. "I'd like a heads up."

"gooooood! okay- sorry," you groan. you really don't care this much

"Okay, well, I gotta go," Jordan hums. "wasn't supposed to stay this long just wanted to make sure you're cool."

"I'm fine. go," you wave a dismissive hand as your eyes flutter close. "thanks for getting me home."

"any time," their weight leaves the bed and you roll onto your side to face the wall. pulling the duvet closer around your body. "I'll text you- bye Beth."

"bye Jordan." you hear the door click and an uncomfortable silence fills the room. it's preferable to the loud conversation that just happened. it's a relief to your head. you just want to go back to sleep. "they must really like you."

urgh. you don't want to talk anymore. "yeah, jordans cool."

"no, I mean, they like you," Beth continues on. you bury yourself further into your cocoon of pillows and duvet. "stayed the whole night just to keep an eye on you. I said it was fine- you'd be fine but they insisted."

Jordan insisted? just how fucked up were you that Jordan li of all people would stay the night just to make sure you were okay? you guys were good friends but most of the time they were either bullying you or treating you like a child which is like a subset of bullying you. you remember them wrapping their arms around you as you watched the fish last night. you've seen Jordan's softer side obviously but yeah. "we're just friends, dude."

"All I know is that Jordan li, as far as I've seen and heard, would not do that for just anyone. they're into you."

"sure. fine. whatever." you growl. you just wanted this conversation to end. Jordan was cool but if you think about this for too long your head is gonna explode. right now, sleep was what you needed. "Jordan Li is in love with me. I'm going back to sleep." it's hard not to think about what Beth suggested. that Jordan was into you as more than just a friend and occasionally fuck buddy. is that something you should talk about? What if Beth was wrong and you bring it up and it makes things super weird? you can't handle that. you have like a million classes together, you would never be able to escape them.

it was a bright sunny day in the quad of Godolkin University. you sit in the courtyard. a laptop, criminology textbooks and a water bottle spread across the table. you have an essay due in a few days. you had sat down to work on this essay multiple times with a beautiful blank document and many hours on TikTok to show for it. "hey," your TikTok time is interrupted by none other than Jordan Li. you had not seen them since that night or morning. you hadn't really spoken either. you weren't avoiding them by any means. you were just busy and they hadn't seemed too eager to talk so. "hey," they say after a moment. "how's the essay going?"

"so great," you flash a smile. "I've written so much."

"that good, huh," they joke awkwardly taking a sip of their coffee. you just hum in response. you need to get this done. no time to add Jordan to the list of distractions. after a few moments of silence, they speak up again. "I was hoping we could talk

"Can this wait? I really need to get this done."

"I guess…" Jordan trailed off. you look at him for a moment. he seems disheartened by your request.

"what's up?"

"it… doesn't matter. don't worry." a small smile settles on their lips. "I should go."

"you sure?"

Jordan pushes up from their seat. "I'll see you later."

that was weird. definitely something you need to come back to later when you're not working on a deadline. for now, you had an essay to, at the very least, start.

"Have you spoken to Jordan recently?" you ask Cate as you slide into a booth at the on-campus Vought - a - burger. the smell of deep-fried food hangs heavy in the air and you know damn well this table is probably gonna be sticky as hell. "I feel like they're ignoring me."

"What makes you think that?"

"the fact that they're quite literally ignoring me. I've text them a couple times and nothing. even in class, they can hardly look at me." you reach into the bag to pull out the food; placing it on napkins in front of you. cate hands you your drink in exchange for her order. "I feel bad. they tried to talk to me the other day but I wanted to get my essay done."

"they've seemed fine to me but I've been working on a project for my hero management class." Cate shrugs. "is this about what happened the other night?"

"what happened the other night?" you questioned, popping a fry into your mouth. it actually tasted fresh and salty; guess you came at the correct time. you hate it when they're all soggy.

"I don't know if it's my place to say- you were pretty high."

"did I do something… bad?" you didn't remember that night but you never imagined you would ever do something inappropriate.

"no. not bad." you can tell she regrets bringing this up; whatever this is. torn between wanting to help and not overstepping boundaries. She is about to continue when two girls approach the table. freshmen you presume. you've never seen them before.

"Can we get a selfie?" the taller of the two requests. you frown a little.

"we're actually trying to have a private con-"

"it'll just take a minute," they turn around and hold the camera out, snapping a picture before you have a chance to react. "thanks." they scurry off almost immediately. you'll probably find yourself tagged in a picture on Instagram later. it had been happening a lot recently; so much so that you had to turn notifications off.

"the fuck?" you share a confused look with Cate. "people are so rude."

"they're just excited. you're basically a celebrity to them," Cate chuckles.

"do you think Jordan hates me now?" you wonder bringing the conversation back to Li.

"it's probably just because of the rankings."

"you mean because I took their spot?"

"Jordan has always been pretty intense when it came to rankings. they've wanted that top spot for as long as I've known them." Cate explains, hiding her mouth as she shoves more food into her mouth. "must suck that you just jumped to two and have the dean in your corner no less." you never really considered how Jordan must be handling all this. you knew they'd be a little upset but this seemed extreme.

"I never really thought about that," you sigh softly. "should I apologise?"

"I don't know," Cate resumes, biting the head off some fries. "if you think it'd help."

"I don't know why they didn't just tell me that when we first found out," you frown a little. "they were a little distant but they seemed cool when we went out."

"maybe you should just try talking to them," Cate suggests, picking up her drink. She takes a swift sip before continuing. "if it's about rankings or the other night- I don't know. only Jordan does."

"what happened the other night?" you ask again.

"ask Jordan."

"I'm asking you, Cate."

"you were just a lot and said some things."

"Cate!" you huff, falling back. you know Cate well. you know when she's avoiding something. "I know you're being cryptic so I give up on it."

"it's just not my place. it's between you and Jordan. I don't wanna get in the middle." Cate presses sharply. "did you get your essay done?"

"no," you shake your head. "I ended up getting an extension- how am I supposed to speak to them when they're ignoring me?"

"i don't know- can we please talk about something else?" Cate pleads.

"Sure," you hum softly. taking another fry you dip it into some sauce. "let's talk about how I'm about to fail criminology."

you text Jordan that you're coming over. It wasn't a question but a statement. no option to refuse. you needed to sort this out and being direct was the best approach. did every inch of your body buzz with anxiety as you made your way towards their dorm room? yes. but it beat constantly thinking about every little interaction you had with Jordan in the past week trying to figure out exactly what you had done wrong. the only blank spot was that night and Cate had unintentionally convinced you that you had done something absolutely awful. maybe you told them you hate them or invalidated their identity in some way? fuck. you swallow hard staring at their closed door. you shake out the nerves before knocking. knock. knock. knock. and the door swings open to reveal Jordan. "hey," they hum before retreating into the safety of their dorm. shutting the door behind you, you step inside the all too familiar space; you had been here a great many times and yet today there was a weird vibe. it felt foreign. cold even. "so what did you wanna talk about?" for a split second you almost forgot why you were here. you turn to Jordan who is sitting on the couch, a laptop thrown off to the side now. your eyes fall to the homelander Vought-a-burger toy that has somehow become a staple of this room. leader of the seven. currently facing major allegations. "you good?"

"Are you mad at me?" you blurt out. "is it about the rankings? I know they mean a lot to you and I basically took your spot so I get it if you're mad. it's a little unfair because I've always wanted this too but like I get it." your rambling but you can't help yourself. you need to get this all out as quickly as possible before your brain catches on and you chicken out. "And I'm sorry about the other day, I just really needed to get my essay done. I ended up getting an extension because I was so stressed out about it, I just couldn't start." you can't bring yourself to look at them. "or if I did something shitty on that night out. I'm sorry. it was fucked-"

"whoa dude, chill out," Jordan ultimately interrupts. "you're talking a lot." you dare a glance at them. their face is pretty neutral so you have no clue what was going on in their head. "what are you even asking?"

"why are you avoiding me?" you ask. "I've clearly done something wrong."

a heavy sigh leaves their lips as they fall back against the plush fabric. "I'll admit I was a little annoyed with the rankings at first but I'm working on it. this is like a really big deal for you."

"so you're not mad at me?" you sound so pathetic. an even bigger sigh leaves their lips. you're not sure what that means but nobody sighs that heavily for good reason. they push to their feet, crossing the room towards you.

"I'm not mad at you," they say softly as they approach. for a second they hold your gaze as they linger close but then they flicker away. "I'm just… confused."

"About what?" they take a step closer. so close. too close. their hot breath pricks at your skin but you don't dare move away. you almost feel drawn to them.

"Is this okay?" they say quietly.

"Are you only doing this so we'll stop talking about it?" their head shakes just a little.

"no," their hand graces over your neck and up to the bottom of your jaw. Their thumb gently brushes your skin, sending a chill down your spine. there would always be something about Jordan Li that made you melt inside. when they're here and so close, you almost forget all your worries. the way they look at you. like you're the only person in the world. a feather-like embrace is enough to send you spinning. "I don't think I can just be your friend anymore," whispered against your lips. "I… like you too." they pull back.

"Jordan,"

"I need you to say it- I need you to say it sober so I don't feel like a fucking idiot," say it sober? when did you say it in the first place? maybe this was what Cate was talking about. the thing you couldn't remember. you admitted to having feelings for Jordan. fuck.

"I…" you trail off, the words are caught in your throat. this is gonna change everything?

"It's cool," they declare loudly, letting their hand fall as they away. "I get it."

"no Jordan-"

"no it's fine. you were fucked. it didn't mean anything- I shouldn't have said anything."

"Jordan," you say louder, reaching out for their hand. a deep regret fills your stomach. you liked Jordan. they meant a lot to you and you were throwing it all away because you were scared; terrified even. if this doesn't work out then you ruin everything. there's no coming back from this.

"don't," they yank their hand away. "please don't. I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity."

"I don't get you." they huff. "you're all over me and then you want nothing to do with me. you tell everyone you like me but then… nothing? it's… confusing-"

"Jordan just- stop please," you say loudly. "I… like you, okay?"

"don't say things you don't mean."

"I mean it," you say a tad more confidently. "I like you." you try to reach for them again. they let you take their hand. " i don't know what it means exactly but I do… like you… too." you squeeze their hand slightly. it's warm and fits so perfectly in yours. they turn back to you with a smile. a small genuine smile that fills you with butterflies. they really did mean so much to you.

"so… now what?" they ask.

"I don't know." you pursed your lips, shrugging your shoulders. "but I do have to go."

"Seriously?"

"I have a meeting with Dean Shetty." you express. "I'm sorry. She wants me at some dinner so."

[gyllenhaalstories]

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND (PART 2) — BARBARA & RUSTY SABICH

summary: with the help of a sweet neighbour, barbara takes a leap of faith. it is time for her to stop enduring and to start indulging instead, because... when she wakes up next to him in the middle of the night, with her head in her hands, she's nothing more than his wife.

warnings: presumed innocent spoilers, food, cheating, implied age gap, fluff, angst & smut (teasing, masturbation, voyeurism & exhibitionism, mild mommy kink, nipple play, finger sucking, pussy eating, fingering, threesome, cuckholding). 18+ NO MINORS.

word count: 5050

gifs credits: me @/gyllenhaalstories / divider credits: @/firefly-graphics

notes: READ PART 1 HERE. things took a turn... oops. i hope you enjoy giving rusty a taste of his own medicine, because i sure did. thank you again to @sizzlingcloudmentality for your encouragement and your prayers to the gods of smut so i could finish the story. wowie, that's around 9600 words in total. happy pride month i love women! (and rusty). thank you for reading & REMEMBER TO REBLOG!

"You look so good in that apron, sweetheart." Barbara praised you. She sat on the counter while you both enjoyed the last bites of the food you cooked for her. "It makes me want to take it off."

Your cheeks heated up at the last comment. "I thought you liked it?" Barbara answered your question by saying she liked what was underneath a lot more.

The front door opened. Heavy footsteps disturbed your idyllic dinner with the older woman. "Hello?" Rusty called out from the living room. He looked around, he recognized his wife's cardigan on the couch alongside pieces of clothing he had never seen on her... But he had seen them on his neighbour. You wore them on the morning when he caught Barbara talking to you by the mailbox. He swallowed thickly when he received the sound of giggles and hushes coming from the kitchen as an answer.

"Rusty. You're home early." Barbara spoke before an uncomfortable silence settled in. "Say hi, sweetheart."

"Hi." You smiled faintly at the man who squinted at you as if he could not believe his eyes. You turned around again. You smirked to yourself, thinking that maybe he could see his wife's happiness better if he put on his glasses.

Rusty's eyes switched between his wife's face and the back of your head. His gaze wandered down to your bare back. Only the band of your bra and the ties of the apron covered your skin. The rest was hidden from his view by the kitchen island. "What is going on?"

"She offered to make me dinner. Isn't she so sweet?" Barbara caressed your cheek with the back of her hand. She admired the smile she got in return. "I didn't know you'd be home before we were done." Oh, she knew. Rusty could feel it too. "Is there enough left for him?" You scanned the remaining ingredients and nodded. "Would you be a dear and make some for my husband?" She looked at the man. "You must be so tired from preparing this trial. There's so much at stake."

You sliced the rest of the green apple, chopped more walnuts and you turned on the stove top to heat the pan while you removed the crust of the brie cheese. You intended to make a special grilled cheese sandwich for your special neighbour... Rusty was not that special, at least, not to you. Obediently, you focused on your task and assembled the sandwich.

"No, no, no!... Hold on. What is going on?" Rusty asked again, determined to get to the bottom of the case. "A week ago she was in here and now she's... Here again. Half fucking naked? In my house?"

Barbara corrected him instantly. "Our house." She slid her body off the counter and glanced at you who flipped the sandwich carefully, minding your own business. "I don't remember you asking for my opinion when you were with Carolyn. I don't think I've heard you inquire about whether I was okay or not with you sleeping around with your colleague." The woman crossed her arms against her chest, shielding herself. "I don't owe you anything, Rusty." The words he blurted out were loud, filled with anger and misplaced resentment. Something along the lines of You don't owe me anything? I'm fighting for my life out there.

Poor little thing, you thought to yourself. You placed the toasted sandwich on a plate and used a large knife to cut it diagonally. You then turned around to face Rusty and dropped the plate before him. "Yeah and who's fault is that?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Rusty's eyes burned you with his rage, but he laughed at your audacity. "Who are you to talk to me that way?" You held his gaze. He was not much now either anyway. A demoted attorney about to be thrown in jail to rot for his crimes. That did not hold much power anymore. "Who are you to come into my... our house and bang my wife?"

"Shhh, easy, babygirl." B placed a soft, soothing hand on your exposed shoulder after fixing the bra strap that slipped. She let you know there was no point in you getting worked up that way. "We didn't bang yet." She repeated the word Rusty used with a hint of disgust in her voice. "We were having dinner first. And besides... I wanted it to be special. Now, eat before it gets cold."

You grinned when Rusty plopped down on a stool by the island and reluctantly took a bite of the sandwich. You hoped the sweetness of the honey you drizzled on top of the grilled cheese would counteract his bitterness.

Rusty did not have much of an appetite, but he slowly chewed bite after bite. His heart was racing, his thoughts were racing too. How could he have been so oblivious? He was not oblivious, he was suspicious. How could Barbara have kept this for him? She did not, she made it obvious. Especially with the lingerie and nudes. Why this, why that. Why... You? He narrowed his eyes to scrutinize you. You were beautiful. You seemed nice during your first encounter, he could not say the same about tonight. Most importantly... You brought a certain light in Barbara that he had not seen in years. Her light had been dimmed by his own actions and their severe consequences.

When you came back from the sink after you washed your hands, Barbara gave her husband a show. The food was decadent, but so was the sight before his eyes. She slowly untied the apron and pulled it over your head so that you stood half exposed in front of Rusty. Her soft and gentle hands travelled to your belly that she caressed lovingly. Her fingertips traced the cups of your bra and followed the lingerie up to your shoulders. Goosebumps made the hair perk up on your skin. B locked eyes with her husband when her lips met with the skin of your neck. He shifted on the stool. She placed kisses all over it until Rusty finished his plate. She sucked a hickey on your skin until you moaned her name. "That's my good girl."

You moaned louder when Barbara used these words on you, you heard Rusty sighing too. The big bad wolf that yelled at you was practically turning into a soft little lamb. Your hand reached for Barbara's head and you kept her pressed on your skin so she could suck harder to mark it.

Rusty was drowning in his own confusion about whether or not he should enjoy this moment too. Not that he had much control over the way blood was rushing to his cock, leaving him light headed. Barbara acted with you in ways she stopped acting with him well over a decade ago when the kids came around. It ignited a flame of hope in his mind, but it died as fast as it appeared. He was not the receptacle to all of this attention. The same attention he tried to seek in another woman. Barbara was doing the exact same thing, except in completely different ways. What went around came around.

Satisfied with the state she put the two of you in, Barbra brushed her fingers down your arm until she reached your hand. "It's time for dessert." She led you to the staircase with Rusty following you closely. She climbed the stairs slowly, allowing her thoughts to run wild for a moment. This sent her back to a conversation with Lorraine Hogan when she brought up how much she appreciated her neighbour. Lorraine showed no hesitation in her support for her friend, suggesting that Barbara engaged in an adventure of some sort. A little bit of extramarital revenge sex. Barbara realized that revenge was not the main character in this particular story, other feelings came into play as well. Yes, it felt good to get back at Rusty in ways he knew like the back of his hand, but it felt even better to do something that brought her validation. She felt validated in the ways you responded so easily to her words, her touch, her kisses. She felt validated in the ways you treated her as a priority rather than an option.

You held Barbara's hand all the way up the stairs, not without flinching when you felt Rusty touching you. You had waited for this moment since the first day you watched Barbara from your bedroom windows. You had dreamed of taking things further ever since. You did not imagine it exactly this way, Rusty still seemed like an unwanted drop of ink in the great picture you painted of this moment. Still, you were not going to be picky. Much to your surprise, it was quite easy to go from your voyeuristic fantasy all the way to making your dream come true. Barbara wanted you as much as you wanted her and that, on its own, fuelled your desire in ways you had not experienced yet. Barbara was irresistible and you started to understand she thought the same of you.

So did Rusty. Tempted with a good time, he could only surrender to his lust. How could he not? He had two beautiful women before him. If he could manage to tune out the anger and incomprehension for the night, he could enjoy himself as much as Barbara and you. His hands rested on your hips for a moment, where your clothes met your bare skin. You felt him breathe against the back of your neck when he dragged his hands down, following the curve of your ass.

Barbara now stood in the bedroom she had set up for this adventure. In front of the bed, there was one single chair. There were folded towels on the nightstand. She had planned everything through, knowing you would give in. Knowing Rusty would grant her this wish. It was the least he could do. She was not asking for much, she was not asking him to stop cheating. All Barbara wanted, in this moment, was to do the same thing he had done countless times. She held your face in her hands, stopping you from reaching closer and stealing a kiss from her lips. "How do you feel about this, sweetheart? All good?"

You turned your head slightly to the side. Rusty was right behind you, as if he was in on it. It seemed as though he participated on this plan to give you a night you would not forget, but you knew that was not true. When you nodded at Barbara, she rewarded you with the kiss you so desperately wanted. "All good." She smiled against your lips when she kissed you again. The older woman removed the straps of your bra, starting with the one she fixed earlier, and let them fall down your arms.

Rusty unclasped your bra and discarded of it on the floor. He let his wife do the honours of touching your breasts first. He watched, from behind you, the way Barbara so carefully cupped your tits in her hands as if she was scared to hurt you. As if she was scared to get hurt too. Your first moan echoed in their bedroom when Barbara took one of your nipples in her mouth. Rusty's hand moved up your sides tentatively, Barbara did not stop him. He squeezed your other breast in his hand and played with your nipple, getting it stiff and sensitive for his wife to lick and nibble on.

Barbara glanced up at you. Your head was lolling to the back and resting against her husband's chest from having your nipples played with. She looked around the room. Their bedroom. It felt sacred. So much had happened within these four walls, a lot of good but, as of recent, mostly bad things. She hoped Rusty never brought his mistress up here. What they were doing to you right now felt like a violation of this sacred space, a testament to how Rusty violated Barbara's trust and love with the affair. She had to learn to differentiate. There was no we, since the affair. She was not Rusty. She was different because she shared this moment, she let Rusty in this once in a lifetime experience (at least, that was what Barbara tried to believe it would be). She showed she was capable of honesty, she also showed she was able to stretch that same honesty to her own advantages. The spouses were different and similar all at once.

You got accustomed to Rusty's touch, enjoying the way Barbara still remained in charge. She began to remove your pants, Rusty pulled them down until they pooled around your ankles. She peeled her own clothes off too, holding your lustful gaze while she did so. You made her feel so good in this moment, you tried your best to convey all of your desire despite it not being the first time you saw her naked body. "Please?" You reached your hands towards her and she nodded, granting you permission. You pulled her body against yours for a heated kiss.

He gasped while he watched the scene. From behind, all he could admire was the way his wife's face softened when you caressed her cheek. How her brows raised when you deepened the kiss. How her jaw dropped open to allow your tongue to explore her mouth. He stalled for a moment before he picked his glasses up from his shirt, putting them on. Then he, too, stripped naked.

Barbara's arm reached around you to stop Rusty from taking his black briefs off. Her head pointed to the side, to the chair. "We've been way too kind already." You smirked when Rusty reluctantly walked to the chair. It looked like a punishment, Barbara hoped it felt like one. "That's it, sit there and look pretty for us." She kissed the corner of your mouth before she spoke again. "You've been there for me during those tough times, haven't you? Yeah, you've been the best girl for me." Barbara quickly caught on the shadow of doubt in your eyes while you looked at Rusty. "Don't worry about him, darling. He's done far worse things." She glances bitterly at Rusty. "What?" Rusty opened his mouth to talk back defensively, but she was quicker than him. "It's not like I can get her pregnant anyway. What goes around comes back around, doesn't it?"

When B put it like that, it made you feel better. So much better, in fact, that, when invited to kiss Barbara's neck, you did not lose one more second ruminating over Rusty. It did not take long for Barbara to get so worked up she could not contain her whines. You made her feel so good, so happy. Happier than she had been in a long time. She deserved this, she deserved more.

Rusty sat back against the chair with a sigh. He crossed his hands in front of his crotch, miserably failing at hiding the tent in his underwear. His cock throbbed in its confines. Meanwhile, Barbara climbed on their bed and you joined along. His lips parted open when you positioned yourself between his wife's legs.

Finally. It felt like Barbara and you had waited ages for this moment. Your breath tickled her skin, your touch was so gentle too. You stroked your hands up and down her thighs and searched her face for a sign that she wanted to take a step back. You found no such thing. Her eyes sparkled with lust and she was relieved when she noticed you tried to lay down more comfortably. You peppered kisses down her belly button and lower, lower, lower...

The moan that Barbara let out when your mouth finally touched her pussy sounded heavenly. It made Rusty gasp. It made you crave more of those sweet noises. You lapped at her glistening folds, not yet daring to go further yet. You could only assume she had been wet for you all evening long. You were correct, she had been aching for your tongue for what felt like an eternity. You lifted your head, earning a nod as consent.

Rusty slouched on the chair at the sight of your tongue diving between his wife's pussy lips, flicking it over her clit to pull the softest mewls from her. His left hand rubbed his chin while his right one squeezed on his thigh, making the metal of his ring dig into his skin. He bopped his head along to yours while you licked up and down Barbara's pussy. As if he was doing it with you. He forgot when was the last time he did this to his wife.

Barbara tried to lean on her elbows so she could, much like her husband did, admire your work. You made that increasingly more difficult when you started to suck on her clit, making it that much more sensitive. "You feel so good, baby."

You helped to hook her legs on your shoulders, reaching towards her hands to hold them while B began to grind on your face the same way she did earlier on your thigh. You stuck your tongue out, letting Barbara enjoy herself to the fullest. While you took a breather, you did the same, you enjoyed the moment as much as you could. You raised your head up from its position and smiled at her with lips and chin covered in her wetness. Barbara's hand landed on your head and brought you back down again to finish what you started while she guided you through it.

Barbara called you her pretty girl over and over again, praising you for how you took such good care of her. Rusty palmed at his covered cock, desperately searching for relief. His face contorted in a series of expressions he could not even control, though he fought to keep his eyes open and not miss a second of the action. He grunted obscenely loud, taking in all of the signs of Barbara's imminent orgasm.

Her legs started to close around your head, feet hooked together against your spine. It left you no room to pull away. Small breaths escaped her parted lips, they started quiet but quickly turned into resounding moans that were muffled by the pair of thighs around your ears. For a short moment, she looked at her husband through hazy eyes. He seemed as entranced as she was. B needed to learn how to differentiate herself from her man, but, in this very moment, they were both the same. They were both in awe of you, totally entranced.

The attention got you blushing, you felt it despite being too busy to see it. Eyes closed, mouth and tongue hard at work to take Barbara over the edge of her climax. You knew it started when she tried to tug on your hair harder, when she was telling you to 'stay right there, keep going, don't stop!' You let her ride both your face and her orgasm. Her hand fell from your head, more praise fell from her lips. Barbara was ready to move on, but you were not. You swallowed the mess of spit and juices and then you just kept going. You kept going until you made Barbara writhe under all this stimulation.

Until you made Rusty flinch on his chair, ready to pounce. He settled back when you finally gave Barbara the time to relax and to process the pleasure you gave her. This adorable moment of protectiveness went completely over Barbara's hand while she giggled from the high. He wished she had seen it, he wished she had seen he still had it in him to protect her.

Barbara sat up, taking you along with her but she stopped you halfway with a kiss. You were on your hands and knees for her, while she tasted herself on your lips. She pulled away and held your chin firmly enough to turn your heard towards him. "Do you want him to fuck you?" Rusty's face started to glow with excitement. One word and he was ready to go. "If you want to, I'll share you with my husband." Barbara spoke without an ounce of enthusiasm towards her own suggestion. You took a moment to evaluate the offer presented to you with a grin on your glistening lips. Without saying a word, you turned your head back towards Barbara for another passionate kiss. "Good girl." She spoke against your lips. "That's what I thought. We're being so generous to let him watch, but he can't have it all. Maybe we can let him help..."

Maybe that would be nice... You let Barbara decide. With a nod of approval, Rusty sprung on his feet and walked towards the bed. He had a hand on Barbara's back and one on yours, roaming the exposed skin while you kissed his wife. Satisfied, Barbara crawled on all fours to the head of the bed. She rested her back against the upholstered headboard and opened her legs for you. You crawled, too, assuming she wanted you to taste her again, but she had a different plan in mind. She instructed you to sit on the empty space between her legs with your back pressed to her front.

Rusty finally joined the two of you on the bed. He sat back on his knees and tugged on his cock, it throbbed when he pulled his hand away. His thumbs slipped under the waistband of his briefs but he was stopped by his wife again. She knew he was aching for it, for you. She was not ready to share. She did not want to share.

Barbara easily spread your legs apart with her hands, leaving goosebumps in their wake. She leaned her chin against your shoulder and toyed with the stickiness on your inner thighs. "All for me, sweetheart?" You nodded eagerly. She brought her fingers to her mouth, revelling in the taste of you. Her other hand simply brushed over your pussy, making your hips try to hump it desperately.

You truly were desperate for more. Your hips jerked forward one final time and Barbara granted you what you wanted so badly. She pressed her left hand on your wet cunt, her ring finger pushed between the lips. You placed your hand on hers and made Barbara rub circles against your clit.

Rusty pushed back on your legs as they started to close. He wanted to watch. He wanted Barbara to watch the mess she was making between your legs. The more she rubbed, the more you leaked on the bed sheets. And the more he wanted to taste you. He leaned forward, but, this time, you stopped him.

"Good girl." Barbara praised you for not rewarding Rusty with the pleasure, and the privilege, of eating you out. She reminded her husband that his purpose, in this moment, was to help while she did all the work. B picked up the pace. It made your mind all fuzzy. Her expert fingers found a rhythm and angle that made you struggle to keep your eyes open.

And your legs too. Rusty did his job and kept you in place, spread open for both of them. You slouched on the bed, giving in to the sensations of Barbara's fingers rubbing you just right. It was almost like she studied the way you did it, that one time when you could not stop yourself when you watched from the window. The new position allowed Barbara to push one finger inside of you. The moan you let out drove the spouses insane.

Rusty's hips jerked forward, his body barely resisting to your reactions. He watched his wife's finger disappear inside of you knuckle after knuckle. He wished that was his finger. No. He wished that was his cock. Better. He wished you clenched on his cock so hard he would have to fight to pull out in the same way Barbara did with her finger. "Fuck." He grunted as Barbara pumped a finger inside you faster, her palm slapping against your slick folds.

For an instant, B's eyes left your body to stare at Rusty. The vein on his temple pulsated, his chest heaved and increased in redness. He was on the edge of breaking the rule she set just so he could dive inside of you and have you all to himself. She found his struggle amusing, but her heart pinched at his resistance. He tried. For once, he tried to do the right thing.

"Oh my God! Yes!" You moaned out, your body writhed with ecstasy but remained secured in place under Rusty's hands. Barbara took it as a sign to make you feel even better, in the hope that you would enjoy it as much as she enjoyed your mouth on her. A second finger entered your pussy and you shot your eyes closed.

"Open your eyes." Barbara and Rusty ordered you simultaneously. You had no choice but to obey. Rusty gave you just enough wiggle room to fall further on the bed, sprawled open for them. Barbara met you halfway, hovering you so her hands would not leave your heat. His grip on your thighs was bruising. You could not bear to imagine what it would feel to be fucked by Rusty with the same determination he poured into keeping you exposed for his wife.

Barbara chuckled in admiration at just how tightly you clenched around her two fingers. "I can feel it, sweetheart. You're so close." She kept her impressive coordination, between the circles she rubbed and the back and forths of her fingers. "Oh, I know, baby. I know." She cooed at you, buying herself just a few more seconds inside you. "You're making a mess for me. Look at it, look at that pretty pussy." You glanced down for a second, humming in response. She was not ready to stop just yet, but your adorable pleas that begged her to let you cum won her over. "Let go, let go for me. That's it, baby... That's it. Give it to me." The emphasis on Barbara made you see stars that floated around her beautiful face. "Cum for me."

You let go, giving everything you got to Barbara. The sheer force of your climax took your breath away, keeping you stuck in a moment you did not want to get out of. Your eyes fluttered, a myriad of emotions floated in your wide pupils. This was different than what you imagined in your dreams. You were not too mad about the man's presence, he made it easier for Barbara to please you. This was different, but it felt incredible. So incredible that you would be lying if you said you did not want more. Now or later, you did not care, as long as B granted you the privilege of being in her presence. Whether your clothes were on or off did not matter too much either, all you wanted was her. You would take anything she would give you.

Barbara praised you through it until she felt you relax around her fingers. You even heard Rusty insert a few sinful words. "You looked so fucking beautiful cumming for my wife." The Sabiches shared the same smile, one of pure lust. Rusty's grip loosened around your thighs while he caressed your skin, daring to dip his thumbs in the mess that covered the area. Just this small feeling of you made his cock throb painfully, it had been denied for way too long.

When B pulled her fingers out of you, a gush of wetness dripped down on the bed. The three of you whined at the sight of your messy cunt and of your throbbing clit. "You did so good, sweetheart." Barbra, despite the uncomfortable angle, leaned forward to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. "You did so good." You thanked her, she thanked you back for this night of bliss. "Do you want to help again?" She asked her husband who nodded frantically, he was ready to accept whatever Barbara would tell him to do. "Clean her up."

Rusty discarded of his glasses, stretching his arm to set them down on his wife's nightstand. He laid down on the bed, much like you did earlier for Barbara. She let him hump the bed, still stuck in his pathetic search for relief. You whimpered when his mouth reached your core. Your back arched, your lips parted open to let out a series of whiny moans. Barbara reminded him to be gentle, that you were precious. She reminded him to take good care of you, or else she would not share with him again. Not a taste of your pussy, not a chaste kiss on your lips, not even a bite of the food you cooked for her. She would indulge in you selfishly... The way Rusty had indulged in his lust all by himself during the affair.

Barbara tested his commitment and, to both her and your surprise, he obliged. Rusty's tongue lapped gently at your puffy folds. Ignoring your pleas about your sensitive skin and skipping the preliminaries to get acquainted with this beautiful part of your body he had been forbidden to touch all night long. He ate you out with restraint, letting out a loud grunt when he swallowed your juices. His purpose was to clean up the mess, the mess he indirectly made through his affair, and he enjoyed the most out of the precious seconds his wife so generously granted him.

Barbara's lips curled into a smirk while leaning forward to tilt Rusty's chin up. He dragged his tongue on his bottom lip, his chin was soaked with your arousal. There was more love in his gaze during this moment than she had seen in a long, long time. It felt as though a dagger stabbed her in the heart. Metaphorically. She pulled it out, and pushed it deep in her husband's chest with her next words. She repeated something he said in therapy recently, a sentence she did not believe until just now. "Now you're helping to salvage this marriage."

[joonggphilia]

^^Nct dream hard thought of them catching you jerk off to their fancam

NCT Dream hard thoughts

Ot7 catching you jerking off ———————————————————————

You were so absolutely horny and in need. Your boyfriend was Mark Lee, from Nct! You barely got to see him. Your only solution was his fancams on youtube, getting to see the sweat drip from his face and his muscles ripple, fuck you wanted him bad. Your hand traveled down to pull your half-erect cock, pumping it with mark on the mind. “Baby, I made it home today- Oh?” A voice spoke from the door. “M-mark! S-sorry, I’m glad you’re home.” You panted. He chuckled at the sight before him. “You’re pretty happy to see me, let me help with that.”

Renjun was making dinner, when he heard odd noises coming from your room, along with the bass of a familiar song. He quietly walked to your door opening it and sticking his head in. Shit. You had his fancam on your monitor, while you sat in bed and touched yourself. “A-ah! Renjun, shut the door!” You squeaked, embarrassment flooding your mind. Renjun was a bit flustered, but he knocked on the door. “Hey M/n, can I help you? Why watch a video when I’m right here.” Renjun hummed.

Jeno stretched, walking back to your guy’s shared room after his workout. ISTJ played from M/n’s computer. “M/n, why are you watching my fanc- oh! Oh.” Jeno’s eyes traveled down to the hand attempting to cover your cock. “W-welcome back? I-it’s not what you think.” You panicked, ears beet red. “It’s absolutely what I think it is. Come here pretty boy, I’ll make you feel good.” Jeno hummed as he sat on the bed and patted his lap.

Haechan knew exactly what was going on, he’d been teasing you all day. He stood outside your door listening to your sweet sounds. He lightly knocked on the door “baby, so you need me to come in?” He hummed, hand already on the doorknob. “P-please, H-hyuck help.” You cried from your room. He was more than willing to help, immediately getting on top of you and showering you in kisses.

Jaemin was asleep on his bed, when he woke up to his own face shining from M/n’s huge monitor. “F-fuck, please Jaem, f-faster” you imagined your boyfriend touching you, he was just sleeping so peacefully you couldn’t wake him. He quietly giggled, as he moved from the bed to your side. “Do you want me baby?” You jumped at his voice, realization hitting you. You profusely nodded as he motioned for you to sit on the desk. “Let’s fix this issue. You could’ve woken me up baby.” Jaemin hummed, as his hands replaced yours.

Chenle laughed as he walked into your room, his fancam gleaming in front of him. “I’m so happy I have a supportive boyfriend…….whose actually jerking off to my fancam!” Chenle exclaimed, as focused on your figure. “Babe! I’m sorry I didn’t want to disturb you, but I need you pretty bad.” You mumbled, still pumping your cock. Chenle only hummed as he walked towards you and gave you a small peck. “Don’t be afraid to ask me for help.”

Jisung panicked. He shut the door behind him as you stared at him in silence, hand around your dick. “M-m/n, I’m sorry.” He managed, face now bright red and his cock making a tent in his pants. “No I am. I should’ve locked the door.” You mumbled, eyes traveling down to your boyfriend’s growing boner. “Come here. I need you” you hummed, taking off the rest of your clothes. “You really drive me crazy, but don’t worry, I’ll make you feel good.” Jisung muttered, as he took off his shirt and climbed into bed.

———————————————————————

[gooppoo]

jake's mate degrading and slapping him?? 😳🤷🏻‍♀️ masochist jake??? LMAO SORRY

now you're speaking my language 😎 also putting this in hc form cuz that's how my brain wants it

flipping the script.

Requests Closed!

mdni.

warnings: ur on the ride of your life miss girl, slapping, swearing, degrading, p in v intercourse, creampie

Jake had mentioned before he'd like to experiment

Initially you thought maybe letting things get more rough for you

Bondage? Hair pulling?

Oh, you were naive.

"I was thinking, actually..." he picked at his food, "you would top."

This left you puzzled, "Jake, I have been on top before."

"No," he cleared his throat, "like...you take control. Slap me a little bit or something, I don't know." Clearly this was difficult for him to express.

You let the idea marinate in your mind; it didn't immediately turn you off, but you weren't sure if you would like it until you tried it

"Alright." You grinned reassuringly, and Jake's tail swung excitedly.

Let's get up to speed:

Just like Jake had requested, you took the reigns and remained off the ground for the most part

To be transparent...you both noticed the mild power trip you were riding through this entire endeavor

For starters, you dipped your toes in by cumming twice on Jake's charming features - making a point to not hold back your stern instructions

"Faster," he picked up the pace of his tongue, but not enough, "I said faster slut!"

There was orgasm one

Orgasm two looked more like this:

"Shut up and stick your tongue out," you said before dragging your sloppy cunt across his mouth and nose

Now you were ready for the main event, teasing Jake before settling your hips down on him entirely

You rolled your hips along his length, letting it part your folds and nudge your sensitive clit

"Baby - c'mon put it in please-"

Hesitantly, you let the back of your palm crack over his jaw

There was a tense moment of silence and stillness

Then Jake's eyes exploded with carnal lust, which meant yours did too

"Oh...that was pathetic." You scoffed, and took him in you with swiftness

"Shit-!" Jake choked out, you were prompt to bite at him, "Keep quiet, you're making me sick."

At this Jake bit his lip and let his head lull onto the ground

Truthfully, a twinge of fright kept him complying to your orders, the rest was a disturbing curiosity

What exactly were you capable of?

A lengthy, wavering sigh sounded from him as you slid up and down his inches

"You should see your face. I didn't know you could be such a man whore."

Your hurtful words made Jake mewl and sink his blunt nails further into your hips

"I bet you want to fuck up into me so bad, yeah? Try it."

He took your teasing as a massive green light, pouring his heart and soul into the few rough thrusts he could squeeze in before you were leaving his face stinging again

He moaned - and here your true reign of power began

"Did you really think you'd get away with that? Am I making you that fucking dumb?" He groaned, eyes flickering from your waist to your cruel stare, "Gonna answer me? Or just stare with your mouth wide open like a bitch?"

"S-sorry, fuck-" he managed, letting his gaze fall back into his skull

You didn't accept this, "'Sorry? ' Maybe I am fucking you dumb."

With a stifled whine, Jake found more of his voice, "Y-yes you are-! So good, so good to me. Shoulda listened to you baby."

"Much better."

Admits all your humiliating insults and assaults, you couldn't deny the satisfying way Jake stuffed you

Or the way your clit faintly caressed his naval as you reached your hilt and his tip dusted your cervix

Soon enough your energy transferred to using him as a means to reach your orgasm, and nothing more

Everytime Jake would spew praises your way, you'd either cover his mouth or shut your eyes and ignore him completely to focus on tending to your g-spot

"M-I'm close..." you purred

Your thighs were growing weary and even trembling with fatigue

"I'm tired, finish me off," you ordered, allowing your hips to slow

"But-"

"Do what I say."

Jake nodded feverishly and repositioned himself to ram into you from below

His last few forceful strokes let you catch your breath and lose it in the same moment

It was like his cock was shoved the whole way into your throat with the new depths he achieved

Much to your surprise, his fingers tended to your clit

Though your body language was grateful for this, even gently holding his wrist, you still delivered the degradation he had requested: "You're such a cum slut - just wanna feel me cream all over you-"

Jake dryly chuckled, "Of course I do."

A few more powerful thrusts did the trick

To heighten your orgasm Jake continued to toy with your clit so he could feel you pulse around him

Swearing and gasping through the release of your climax and then feeling Jake finish by coating your walls white

Both of you seemed to call it quits at about the same time, flopping onto his torso and his legs falling to the ground

After while, Jake embraced you and kissed the crown of your head

"How'd I do?" You murmured, snuggling against him

Jake smiled, "I'm sure you can feel it."

[rlainarin]

strike me down, crusader a Daeran Arendae playlist

tracklist + links to lyrics + highlights under the cut

Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance I'm just a man, I'm not a hero Just a boy, who had to sing this song

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen I'm out of control I'm a sex machine ready to reload Like an atom bomb about to-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh explode

Walking Contradiction by Green Day I have no belief But I believe I'm a walking contradiction And I ain't got no right

West Coast Smoker by Fall Out Boy Don't feel bad for the suicidal cats Gotta kill themselves nine times before they get it right

GASOLINE by Måneskin Your ego is dangerous Your own blood is losing trust Neighbors left in the dust

Troubled Times by Green Day We run for cover Like a skyscraper's falling down Then I wonder like a troubled mind

Killer In The Mirror by Set It Off Let weakness disappear There's nobody but me here The killer in the mirror

Choke by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME If I could burn this town I wouldn't hesitate To smile while you suffocate and die

The Sound of Silence by Disturbed And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains Within the sound of silence

Kill All Your Friends by My Chemical Romance It's been ten fucking years since I've been seeing your Face round here And you're walking away and I will drown in the fear

Goodnight Demonslayer by Aurelio Voltaire Tell the devil its time you gave him his due He should go back to hell, he should shake in his shoes Cause the mightiest, scariest, creature is you

crusader by Stevie Howie You cast judgment on the ones who choose thought They pandered to the devil so they've already lost

Bouncing off the Wall by Green Day Cause it's all that I want And I want to be free I got Satan riding next to me

Suzerainty by Polite Fiction And masturbation's just not as fun If you can't cry when you're done

Are You Satisfied? by Marina & the Diamonds People like to tell you what you're gonna be It's not my problem if you don't see what I see And I do not give a damn if you don't believe

BABY SAID by Måneskin Baby said When you're talking I go dead Shut your mouth, give me your head

Who's In Control by Set It Off Living in fear, living afraid Hysterical every day All because I let your poison paralyze me

Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us by My Chemical Romance And it's hard to say I'm shaken By the choices that I make And well, I find it hard to stay

Sirens by Bear Ghost They say you oughta dance like no one's watching They're a telepathic chorus in my mind

Blood On My Name by The Brothers Bright Not a spell gonna be broken with a potion or a priest When you're cursed, you're always hopin' that a prophet would be grieved

Blame by Bastille Fall upon your knees, sing: "This is my body and soul here" Crawl and beg and plead, sing: "You've got the power to control here"

Tell Me It's Okay by Paramore And maybe it's been years since I wanted to be a part of anything But lately I've been good You know, I've actually been great

[narrators-journal]

Part 11

OH MY GOD NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT.

Previous part: here

Next part: here

Days ticked by one by one and Ikutsuki didn’t confront Minato about why he studied the stability of the brick wall surrounding the courtyard, watched Junpei and Akihiko as they

carried delivered animal feed through side gates or the main one, or asked what said side gates were for. So, if Yukari had guessed what he was up to, she hadn’t told anyone else. So, the midnight-haired sacrifice spent those ticked-by days in his thoughts.

Despite how they sometimes came across, Minato grew to like a lot of the people who lived on the homestead with him. And even with those weird moments of feeling watched or that someone was in his room when no one was, and the pain of how much he missed Ryoji, itwas rather nice to have things to do every day. That was something Ryoji or Thanatos didn’t give him. Yet, all it took was one custodial visit to the top of the barrier wall to knock all of those points aside.

The sight of the yellowed field of grass that separated the property from the distant skeleton forest, swaying gently in the brisque winter breeze, called to him. Whether or not Thanatos wanted him back was no longer as big of a concern. Even without it, Minato knew somewhere deep down that he hated it here.

Granted, Minato still didn’t hate the people he’d met in his weeks there, even Yukari had grown on him like some annoying sister. But, that feeling of being suffocated still sat in his belly like a stone. Minato had given the place a chance, but he still didn’t want to stay. He wanted Ryoji back.

And, as if the thought of him had summoned the man, Minato felt a warm hand grab his as he stood atop a ladder that Junpei held steady with a forgotten paint brush in his hand and a bucket of red paint on top of the bricks. Though, like all of the other times he’d found a ghost on the property, when he looked over, no one was there. Though...granted, no one really could’vebeen there, unless Junpei somehow learned to float. But, this time, the spectral presence felt more solid, and he could’ve sworn it was Ryoji holding his hand.

”Mina! Dude! Quit spacing out and get the top of the wall already!” Junpei called up, his voice enough to break Minato out of his trance and chase off his ghost as well.

“Man, why are we even painting this fucking thing?!” He called back down, dipping his brush back in the paint as he spoke.

“To keep up aesthetics? I don’t actually know, Ikutsuki’s kinda weird.” And, just like that, Minato’s focus returned to the task for the day. Though, his decision remained firm.

So, all that left was the steps.

It took three days, but Minato managed to get everything prepared. His bedroom windows? Unlocked. The bolt for the side gate nearest his side of the house? Buried at the very bottom of the compost pile that they kept at the very back of the property. Minato had even managed to get a drop or two of oil on the rust-decorated hinges of the heavy gate, so with any luck, any creaks or whines of the cold metal would be stopped. Next, Minato only had to get out to that field.

And, a chance for that came on a night where the watchful eye of the moon was closed and the winter night sky was left to the stars for light. When the large farmhouse had been still and quiet for two or so hours before Minato slipped from his covers to work open one of the windows beside his bed and let in the gentle sighs of the cold season.

“Minato~”

The soft breath of a sound froze Minato to his window sill. His legs dangled in the cold, yet the blue-haired man couldn’t bring himself to do more than listen.

The quick slam of his heart on his ribs, the whisper of the night’s gentle breeze. Not even the birdy alarm system disturbed the sleepy silence. But, was that the ghost, or someone alive? The ghost hasn’t exactly spoken before, has it?.. Minato thought while his storm-grey eyes tried to puzzle out every obscured detail of the bedroom over his shoulder. But, like the silence, nothing within the darkness had changed in the hours between that moment and sunset.

So, Minato finally let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and shoved the ghost from his mind, <em.Give yourself some credit, Minato. You’ve been careful and meticulous, you can do this. He told himself before he continued slipping from the window.

Thankfully, the fall from the second floor of a farm house cost less than it would have if he’d tried from his balcony, even without a cushion of powdered rain to soften the impact upon the chilled-solid dirt. It hadn’t been a particularly elegant fall, but he was able to feel the harsh ground beneath his back, and the throb of his bones.

In a bit of celebration, Minato laid in the dirt for a moment longer before Koromaru’s distant barks stalled the breath within his lungs. Shut up, shut up, shut up.He mentally ordered, his senses instantly stretched to their max for any signs of life from inside the home.

This time, the seconds that the sacrifice laid on the cold ground and looked for danger ticked by like drips of molasses. But, Koromaru’s barks stayed closer to the barn rather than approach his spot, and aside from him, the only sounds of life that Minato’s nervous hearing picked up was the quiet calls of sheep as they were awoken by the dog. So, he took a calculated risk, and quietly climbed to his feet once more. His grey eyes scanning over the stretch of land between him and the fields until he spotted the solid silhouette of what he guessed to be a tool shed.

From there, he used every stealthy fiber he had in his being to creep towards the smaller building. Why though? The hell am I gonna do, hide in it from Koromaru? That’d be smart.But, the sarcastic point went ignored for the moment. Every sense was still on edge, each little rustle of grass or pelt analyzed, even when he got to the tool shed and put the cold metal of the building between himself, and the barn. Pressed to the wall in an attempt to hide under the small lip of the roof, the bitterly cold metal of the shed possibly the only thing that kept the sacrifice from being washed away in the thundering beat of his heart and frantic panic.

But, Minato pushed that panic down like he did with his other difficult emotions before he peeked around the corner of the shed. The shadows picked apart like a critical mother would her child’s homework until he finally regained the ability to breathe right. Koromaru had quieted down again, Minato heard no other sounds of his housemates. So far, so good.

So, he took the opportunity and bolted for the brick wall. Each dead bush or pocket of inky black used for cover while the midnight-haired sacrifice crept along, a hand kept to the uneven, craggy bricks and grout until that scratchy texture became the solid grain of wood instead.

“What are you doing out here?” Ken asked, as if the child had apparated from the shadows.

“Where in the devil’s name did you come from?!” Minato hissed at Ken, whirled around to glare at the pajama-clad child. The urge to smack the taste out of his mouth there, but not acted upon. Last thing I need is to be too jumpy and snappy. That’s just gonna get me ratted on faster, or attention. He reminded himself while Ken’s dark brown eyes bore into him.

“Koromaru got me. Where in the devil’s name are you going?&lt;/em.” Ken finally said, which earned the snitch shiba sat at the boys feet a dirty look before Minato spoke again.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I came outside for a walk. What are you doing up, though? Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

Minato’s snark did little to dissuade the young boy from his analysis of Minato’s face, heavy parka, warm pants, and shoes.

“Why are you dressed for work if you just woke up and decided to go for a walk?” He asked next, but the sacrifice could tell from his tone that he may have guessed the answer. Fuck you, Ken. Fuck you and your intellegence. Be a stupid fucking kid, damn it.

Of course, he didn’t vocalize those angry thoughts, but some dark part of the midnight-haired man did want to, even if he liked Ken. But, alas, reason stepped in once more to keep the man from his impulses.

“It’s cold out here, I don’t particularly enjoy being cold.”

“It’s not that cold tonight. Tomorrow, and tomorrow night are expected to drop, though.” His point grated on Minato’s thin patience instantly.

“Just go back to bed, Ken. Before you get a cold, or pneumonia” He sighed as he turned around, his hand still on the wall, to continue his path. However, he didn’t hear Ken walk away.

“Do you think Thanatos loves you or something?”

The question struck like a sucker punch to the gut. Not only with the word ‘love’, but with how it sounded like even Ken thought he was some lunatic if hedid think that.Or, maybe it was how the words almost seemed pitying. Like he was pathetic for that belief. So, the sacrifice whirled back around on the child, and this time, his fangs flashed more than before.

“Excuse me?! What on earth would make you fucking ask that?!” He snapped, barely able to keep from yelling. Ken, meanwhile, simply shrugged,

“Yukari told us when you guys got here that you and him were pretty buddy-buddy, and you blew up about not wanting to stay here. So, only one real place you’d go if you’re leaving.” He reasoned while Minato grit his teeth to keep from doing anything stupid. Instead, he simply glared at the child, who’s unwavering composure would’ve been impressive, if the sacrifice wasn’t as on edge and angry as he was. “I’m not going to stop you if you run.” Ken assured easily, and as if to agree, Koromaru laid down. Though, Minato knew it was a lie.

Nope. Just go back to bed. This attempt failed. It’s not worth it. A rational voice told Minato as the sacrifice continued to eye Ken, but began to open the gate while his thoughts continued their own internal argument. Absolutely not! If I just, go back to bed, Ken will rat, and all of my work will be undone. It’s not like they’ll just miraculously not notice the missing bolt. Another voice argued, the voice that Minato went with, as he got through the gate and bolted like a rabbit from a pack of hunting dogs. Besides, I just need to get far away. Far enough away that they can’t just drag me back. Get to the treeline, that’ll do it for tonight. Or, in simple terms, run. Minato’s simple goal was to run.

Which, he did. Every ounce of adrenaline and energy was poured into his his feet to drive him forward through the sea of tall, dead grass. The ache in his bones, the pain of each gulp of cold air in his throat, none of it mattered, all he had to do was go.

“Yes! Come to me.”

Minato’s heart slammed to a halt. And, just as quickly, so did Minato’s body. As if that eerie whisper in his ear had petrified him the same way Medusa’s stare would. But, when he looked around at the tall, razor thin blades of grass in the dim light of the night, he found no one to blame. But, at the same time, he couldn’t deny it that time.

“T-thanatos? Ryoji?” He asked into the darkness as a small butterfly of hope fluttered to life in his gut. Only to be sniped down by the first distant call of,

“Minato!” In a voice that was undeniably real.

And, just like that, the shock of the ghostly voice was washed away in a tsunami of adrenaline. Fuelled by that fresh burst of energy, his feet were back to slamming into the cold ground with a vengeance. The sting when the long blades of grass slashed his face, the frantic pace of his heart, none of it registered through the haze of panic.

Just get to the road! Or the trees, whichever’s closer!He told himself, only to realize, Crap! I don’t know if I even ran in the right direction for either of those!But, he didn’t let that slow his pace down. He couldn’t afford to.

“This way!”That ghostly voice whispered in his head once more, but this time, Minato didn’t let surprise root him to the ground. He instead used that shock of surprise as fuel to keep his legs going and weaved through the endless grass like it told him to.

“That’s it! Keep going!”The voice encouraged, and through his thoughtless focus, Minato could’ve sworn it was Ryoji’s voice in his head. And that it was growing closer, somehow.

However, instead of the friendly brunette, Minato was only met with the crash of his chin against the cold dirt and flattened flora at the fabled edge of the field. So close, yet so far.

“What the hell are you doing out here, Minato?!” Junpei asked while he did his best to curb the sacrifice’s attempts to scramble away from him. “Stop it! You’re gonna hurt yourself, stop that!”

“Let me go! Get off of me!” Minato finally snapped as the grass rustled and more people emerged. But, if they tried to talk sense into him, the midnight-haired man didn’t bother listening. And, in return, they ignored his rabid snarls and pleas for freedom as they hauled him away from Ryoji for the second time.

And, while the sacrifice didn’t hate the compound, each step away from the ominous darkness of the treeline felt like the slow extraction of his heart from his ribs.

“Please! Just let me go!” He begged once more as he hit Junpei for emphasis,

“No! You’ll get lost in there, Mina! You’ll starve before you get anywhere near the town!” The baseball-cap-clad brunette snapped back, as if to match the aggravation that was mixed in amongst the other melancholy emotions in the captive man’s words.

“I don’t care! I hate it here! I want to go back to Thanatos!” He demanded, but went ignored for the rest of the walk. Which, a more rational part of Minato was thankful for, since if he had kept up the argument, he feared he may have cried beneath the weight of all of the confused, mangled feelings that plagued him.

Regardless of them, though, he managed to keep his composure as he was drug back inside and plopped into a kitchen chair. Surrounded at the back by Shinji, Junpei, and Akihiko, while Ikutsuki sat across the table from him. As dissapointed as a dad. On top of that, he didn’t say anything for a long moment, just let Minato sit there and stew in the shame and dread he couldn’t feel through the mess of others.

Finally, the thin brunette sighed heavily and spoke with his dull brown eyes sad,

“Why would you run like this? I thought you’d settled down nicely here.”

“I want to go back to Thanatos.” Minato responded curtly, but his anger simply got another sigh from the man.

“I see that god has his hooks pretty deeply into you.” He said, almost apologetically, before his voice got firmer and he continued, “But do you really not see the damage being sacrificed did? Your family is mourning you, your friends are missing you, but here you are. Wanting to throw them away like trash for a pretty house.” Oh, so now we’re going the tough love route, eh? Play ball, motherfucker.

“And you really think ‘reasoning’ is an option if a pissed off god truly came to take back a sacrifice you’d taken? Do you think some stupid fucking birds will do anythingto save you?” He snapped back,

“Did you just miss the entire point of my words?” Ikutsuki shot back with a glare, but Minato’s emotions had settled on their spokesperson. Rage.

“About what? My fucking family? My family is dead Ikutsuki. Is that the answer you want? You want to know about every single time I’ve had a neighbor call me cursed too? Because I can tell you if that will get you OFF MY FUCKING ASS.”

“N-nobody was prying into your past tragedies, Minato.” The thin man said, tripped up on the sudden dose of shame that the blue-haired sacrifice could see in his dull eyes. But his rant continued unhindered.

“Really? Could have fooled me with your refusal to accept that I just want to go back to Thanatos! I’m not brainwashed, I’m not heartlessly abandoning my non-existent family and friends for some dick! I just! Want to go back! Ryoji’s the only person I’ve met who truly seems to care about me! Who doesn’t see me as some project, or some poor little victim of manipulation, whatever it is that has you guys keeping me here!” Minato continued, but while Ikutsuki had been knocked off balance, he apparently wasn’t ready to give up in the conversation, because he swung back that time.

“We donot see you as some poor little victim or some project, Minato! We’re concerned for you. Almost everyone here has had some run in with a god or inhuman creature that was traumatic, and we simply thought you had gone through the same type of thing.”

“Motherfucker, Junpei had to sedate me to get me here!” Minato screamed back, the logic of his reply burnt to a crisp in the fire of his emotions. “I’ve told you that I want to go back! I’ve said it multiple times, but since it isn’t the answer you fucking want from me, you never seem to listen! Is it so impossible for you to imagine someone wasn’t traumatized by being sacrificed?!”

“You want to go back to that assistant! That’s not a good enough reason for me to just let you wander off into the forest to get back to the god of death!” Ikutsuki yelled right back at him, “Even abused spouses want to go back to their abuser, Minato. Your feelings simply cannot be trusted!”

“I’ve been saying it for weeks though!”

“That doesn’t matter! You were held there for over a year, you’ve said that too, remember? Do you expect me to trust someone who’s been that ensnared by a pretty face when they say they want to go back?!”

“Oh so what, you’re really gonna try to just keepme here?!” Minato asked, any urge to cry long burned away by the anger that now burned in his chest. Now, the man was ready to froth at the mouth and bite Ikutsuki’s throat out.

“Yes! For a year, at least! Then you’re free to go back to that house and offer yourself back up to Thanatos or Ryoji. But I can’t in good conscious let you go before that.” Ikutsuki confirmed, and, while Minato wasn’t proud of it, Akihiko had to stop him from scratching the brunette’s eyes out.

“You listen like a rock!”

“I’m ending this conversation here. You’re going in circles.” Ikutsuki said, truly a dad it seemed, even if it infuriated the sacrifice more. “Good night, Minato.”

“Get fucked you condescending prick!”

“Good. Night.”

With that, Minato was hauled back upstairs to the room he’d escaped from earlier that night. But, this time, he wasn’t simply left alone in the room, Akihiko sat in the darkness with him while Shinji sat outside of the door. Minato had truly become a prisoner. He was forced to accept his groundation whether he liked it or not.

The edge of the field far flung, like some blissful dream at that point. He instead laid on his comforter and stewed in his wrath while Akihiko sat near the door in silence. At least, until the snowy-haired man broke it.

“Do you really think we only see you as a project?” He asked, his words jabbed into Minato’s tender emotional state like pins in a cushion.

“No.” He confessed, humiliated to think back to the fight already. “But still I don’t want to be here.”

“Why not? What’s so different from your stay with Thanatos?” He asked, his seemingly honest curiosity spread over Minato’s temper like a salve. Which, allowed the blue-haired sacrifice to let out a tired sigh and think.

Not that he hadn’t thought of it before, in his showers and before he’d gone to sleep at night. Why DOES this place upset me so much? It can’t only be because I miss ryoji, right? So, the silence was allowed to creep back in between the two while Minato truly tried to pick apart the knot of brambles that was that question. Until, finally,

“I don’t feel like I belong here. You’ve all gone through horrible things, you’re here to heal and rebuild your lives. But, I’m...being sacrificed was arguably the best thing to happen to me.” He confessed, a bitter sadness left on his tongue by the words. Akihiko, meanwhile, simply hummed at them,

“I guess I can see how you’d feel like that. I suppose it wouldbe a little infuriating to be put in a rehab if you don’t have a drug problem.” A simple conclusion, but it still brought tears to the sacrifice’s eyes to be assured that he wasn’t crazy.

“Can I please leave then?” he asked, which made the fighter snort,

“Sadly, no. I think that shitshow of an argument you gave Ikutsuki may have shot any chance of you arguing your case with him, and he’s the one who makes those calls.” Which, Minato had figured.

So, he sighed and left the conversation there. It wasn’t like he needed to ask Akihiko how he’d butchered that discussion, he already knew. Though, unlike when he’d lost his cool with Ryoji, Minato didn’t particularly want to make amends and try to be better to this particular brunette.

[this-is-moony-lovegood]

WIP Wednesday

Here’s a snippet from my Bones AU! I’ve got about 4.5k written so far. And there’s so much more to come!

…

The first thing that Buck notices when he wakes up is that it’s pitch black. He immediately starts fumbling around, reaching for something, anything to be familiar in the black void. He feels sluggish as he tries to move, each raise of his arms heavier each time. Finally, after what feels like minutes he grasps onto something small and tugs, and is nearly blinded by the lights in front of him. “Oh, god.” He winces, bringing his hands up to cover his eyes.

When he manages to adjust to the new light, he realizes that it’s coming from the dashboard of a car. His car. Well, his rental car. His prized jeep was in the shop getting all sorts of work done on it. That car had definitely seen better days. This car though, this shiny new black sedan with gorgeous sliver-gray leather interior was growing on him, just not enough to make him give up on the jeep. Maddie had given him that car when he turned sixteen and told him to get the hell out of Hershey and not look back. The jeep was his ticket to freedom. He was never willingly going to give that up.

When he had turned the key in the ignition, the radio roared to life too, picking up on his go-to pop station.The sound wasn’t clear though, letting a rough layer of static disturb the bridge of Taylor Swifts latest chart topper. Not wanting to aggravate his brewing headache further, he quickly shut it off, falling into silence again.

“What happened?” He thinks outloud, taking in his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was handing up the phone with Eddie after discussing their dinner plans. Chris was begging for Pizza, and Buck was fully planning on obliging with that request for his best friend. However, he insisted that the three of them make home made pizzas rather than pick up a greasy one from down the block. “We can trick Chris into eating the healthier option, Eds. He’ll never know the difference. Plus, he’ll have more fun making it himself.” Buck was sure that he heard Chris whispering, “Please, dad,” which had to be accompanied by the pattened Christopher Diaz puppy dog eyes, before Eddie sighed heavily and agreed. So, Buck had hung up the phone shortly after, and had made it to his car with the intention on stopping by the small grocery store on the way to Eddie and Chris’s apartment.

He doesn’t remember getting into his car though, or taking off. His work satchel is sprawled across the seat next to him, it’s contents spilling out not so gracefully into the passenger seat and the floorboard. So, he had gotten inside the car at some point. But, when he tries to look out the window, that darkness the had woken up to earlier stared back at him. It was never this dark in the parking deck a the Jeffersonian, so he must have wound up somewhere else. How did he get here?

Eager to find out where the hell this place is, Buck reaches for the door handle and pushes, attempting to open it. Attempt being the key word there, because it doesn’t move an inch. “Oh, come on.” He grunts, trying again and again without success. Abandoning hope for the door, Buck grabs at the buttons next to him, finding the driver’s side window. But, the moment it starts to roll down, the car starts flooding with dust, and dirt, and… are those rocks? “Fuck!” He swears and swats at the buttons again, rolling the window back up as high as he can get it to stop anymore dirt from coming though.

No lights + being surrounded by dirt + no memory of how he got there + the burning on his neck right above his pule point + his luck with cases could only mean one thing. All Buck wanted was a peaceful evening with his best friend and his best friend’s kid. But, no, he had to go get himself into trouble again. Oh, shit, Eddie is so going to kill him for this.

His realization is quickly interrupted by a groan from the backseat, nearly making Buck jump out of his skin. He scrambles for the ceiling light, and grimaces when he finds the noise in the backseat form a barely conscious, Chimney Han. What the fuck was Chimney doing with him? He was still in the lab with Maddie and Hen when Buck left. Great, now not only is Eddie going to kill him, but Maddie, too.

“Chimney! Chim! Are you alright?” Buck asks frantically, wedging his broad body into the backseat with the same about of ease as a newborn giraffe. He’s careful though as he takes the seat diagonally from his, manuvering around Chimney’s stretched out legs. “Can you talk?”

All Buck gets in response is another muffled groan when he flicks on the lights in the backseat as well, giving him a better assessment of the scene. His gaze rakes across his friend (and future brother-in-law if Buck has anything to say about it) to take in his injuries. His face, while absent of blood, is covered something black, probably soot if he had to take a guess from the smell. That was Chim’s area of expertise, not his. Buck does bones, not bugs and dirt and particulates.

Chim’s eyelids flicker open, while Buck gently pats down his torso for signs of trauma. His clothing seems to be covered in the same substance as he shifts his gaze, and finally when it lands on his legs, “Your legs!” Buck gasps, taking them in. Chim’s jeans are cut open at the knees and shins, blood clotting over deep gashes. “What happened to you legs?”

Instead of answering his question, Chimney weakly asks his own, “Where are we?”

“We’re buried alive.” Buck replies, “He must’ve got us.”

“Who?” Chimney says, his question stronger this time around.

“The Grave Digger.” Buck exhales. God, how did their case turn into this? He has to be close to figuring it out, otherwise why would the grave digger take them? If the grave digger gets their way he’ll never have the chance to.

Well, Buck thinks, at least Eddie and Maddie can’t kill him if he doesn’t make it out of this alive.

[jenconnellysshybellybutton]

Chapter 6: Next To Me

Characters: Melanie Cavill, Alexandra Cavill, Andre Layton, Bess Till, Ruth Wardell, Josie Wellstead, Bennett Knox

Warnings: mentions of suicide, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, just sadness and comfort plus mel being with her bby🥺, domestic fluff, melanie can cook! 🍳

The Cavill’s woke up rather well, the next morning very pleasantly to the golden sunlight coming from behind the curtain of the small window in the bunk, Melanie had been already awake for around 30 minutes sitting at her desk with a small lamp that was dim reading some papers.

Alex squinted her eyes closed trying to mostly block out as much light as possible after literally just waking up, she pulled off the cover to move her legs over the railing making the least amount of sound possible but she made a grunt.

Melanie looked over her shoulder from the soft noise.

“Oh hey hon you’re awake, how did you sleep?”

“I could ask the same thing, fine...actually it has definitely been a good while since I’ve slept like a baby, damn good sleep since I was a baby probably” she laughed. Mel sat watching her laugh, resting her fist under her cheekbone, she chuckled back at the answer smiling, the last time she had seen Alex laugh was 2 months- hell 3 months ago now that she thought about it, all she knew was that it felt fulfilling to see that, like a part of the sun was brought back into her heart.

“I had a refreshing sleep but yes, good, that’s good”

They stayed silent for a few seconds. Alex was about to bring up what she wanted to ask last night because she felt now was an okay time to..she thought so

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, go for it”

“What went down out there?”

Mel’s subtle smile disappeared as images flashed back through her mind of her traveling through the white.

“.......After...after he passed me up, I had a moment, a moment of reflection of everything that happened, you’ve seen how I am like when those events happen Allie-... I went back to the station, ate the last couple of rats because I truly had given up, I wrote what I thought was my last words...gathered up the data, I was going to run out of power and I did, but then I took one last look at the data, the power finally cut”

Alex’s eye’s widened.

“so I said ‘fuck it and went off and went and kneeled out there one more time, I stayed a some few hours, I thought back to us again and again...and that little thing gave me that spark of hope that I would see you again, whenever it would be here or in the afterlife I got a morsel of it back, and what do you know…..I felt that you came back for me and- and you did, going back to the station again, I grabbed some chunks of torn piping from the station that I brought with me, attached some to my knees and boots and I ran as fast as I could, the storm made it basically impossible to hitch onto its side but I did, my suit ran out of juice so I panicked and I was hanging off and the wind made one of the pipes flew off and got right in me”

Melanie’s eyes were welling up again “Jesus christ mom, god” Alex sat down in one of the chairs in complete shock and disturbed from what her mother was telling her about her experience of dying twice now.

“…then part of the punctured places got a bit too fragile and another got to me too, including my helmet, the cold seeped in, it felt like all of my limbs were freezing, my arms, legs, fingers, my face couldn’t move so I felt for the panel on the siding and then god seemed to like me that day so he gave me the benefit of the doubt, I got in, I felt limp and it felt like I fucking passed out but also died but I did…..and here I am…….I hope that answers your question”

Melanie turned back to her papers to read them, she wiped her tear with the sleeve of her jean jacket. Alex did the same, she felt like she was punched in the face with words folding her hands. Melanie sat in silence not sure what to say to her knowing what she said definitely hurt her doing the deed. She put down her pencil and turned to her.

***

“I’m sorry for telling you all of that but you asked a question so I answered it, I’m sorry I was a bit harsh too…… Can I make you breakfast?...to make this better the best I can? What would you like me to make you? Anything you want”

Alex did and did not want to forget the story she told, for now, she was going to keep it in the back of her mind, right now she needs to be more optimistic so she shook it out of her head, she felt even worse for her mom so she got up, walked to her and gave her yet another heart-filled hug. Melanie did what was the only option for what she felt exploding inside to let out a round of pain again.

“I can’t even imagine what that was like for you, no matter how much of a horrible person you think you are, you shouldn’t have felt that...nobody should...okay maybe except for one individual”

She reached down and put her hand on her cheek to calm her since Allie kinda figured out what calms her and lets her know it’s okay.

“I’m far from good, but still you...still you want me?”

“Yes, without a doubt, you may have left me in Chicago, but that was to save everyone, to save us, I forgive you mom, you don’t have to say you’re sorry anymore, to anyone. We only have each other in this world if you really think about it”

Mel thought she was having deja vu “Thank you for taking a chance on me, you know I didn’t mean to hurt you on purpose right? I couldn’t see and I had no recollection of what was going on...I thought I was back on Big Alice and I thought he was you and he was trying to turn me around at the station but in his way, Allie he wasn’t even there-”

“He’s not going to talk to you no more, It’s fine, I can’t blame you if I wanted to. What do we even have to eat for breakfast? I haven’t checked in the cabinets beside the crappy MRE’s” They both got up from where they were at and headed to the kitchen that was afoot away because the room was so small.

Alex looked through some of the options, She didn’t Care for most of them so she decided on pancakes, Mel asked if she wanted anything on them like butter, bananas, strawberries, she said yes to the strawberries and so Mel turned on the mini stove, pulled out a pan and the ingredients and started making what she requested.

***

Alex was really into her meal “These are really good ma!”

“Well I’m glad honey” Mel smiled, she was eating a part of a leftover casserole from the fridge that was god knows how old but it still tasted good so it should be fine she thought. She got up and put her jacket back on and put her hair in a bun,

“Who else is in the engine besides Layton?” Alex stopped eating and looked up

“Bess, Josie, Ben, yeah that’s everyone who’s on here” Melanie gulped when she said “Josie”

“You mean ‘Josie’ as in Josie the tallie?”

“Yep”

“Fuck”

“What’s wrong?” Mel is at a loss for words.

“I don’t want to talk about it, it’s a conversation for me and the grown-ups alright”

Alex rolled her eyes “Alright before you go right through the door and all hell breaks loose are you sure you got enough rest? I don’t think you did” Melanie now looked at Allie and noticed that there was nothing on her plate “wow you really scarfed that down, yeah I got 9 hours I’ll be fine”

“Are those your famous last words?! I was hungry” Alex laughed “Still you need more”

“Fine, what do you want me to do, go to bed?”

“Exactly, now go on I be there in a second” Melanie took off her jacket. set it on the chair and popped into bed, along with Alex. ¨Have a good sleep mom, sweet dreams¨

¨You too hon¨

¨What did I do to deserve her¨ Mel thought, and they were both left with their dreams.

[pan-fried-autism]

Demonitized

Characters: Jay, [SURPRISE]

Summary: Popular YoTub Streamer MymomcallsmeJay (aka James "Jay" L. Moncton) has recently gone missing, to the horror of fans everywhere. Coincidentally, his last livestream was taken off of YoTub for "disturbing content".

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Murder, some descriptions of a dead body, some descriptions of gore. You have been warned.

The stream began.

The viewers saw part of a parking lot, surrounded by snow-piled land and trees dusted with more snow, like sugar. After a second, the camera started to turn a bit quickly, and a face filled the screen.

It was of a cat. He had grey and white fur, the latter color covering the top of his muzzle, head, and ears. He had eyes of a bronze hue, with a touch of fluffiness to his otherwise smooth fur. He started speaking.

"HEY, WHATS UP JAY-MERS! Jay here, live from the Northern regions of Azzakarie County! Today, we're gonna go ~monster hunting.~"

The comments of the YoTub livestream started pouring in. Many "LETS GOOOOOOO"s and "POGGIES" and "dont die lol"s were spammed.

"Hell yeah, Jay-mers! Now, in this region, a bunch of hikers and explorers have started going missing. Coincidentally, people have started seeing some weird animal running around in the woods here!

"They call it... The Winter Beast."

Jay pointed to a path up ahead, leading from the parking lot to elsewhere.

"I wanna find this cryptid LIVE! ON STREAM! And you guys get to watch!"

Multiples of messages full of emojis poured into the stream chat.

"Great to see y'all are excited! Now... let's go."

The camera started moving and shaking a little, as Jay walked up the trail. The snow could be heard lightly crunching beneath him.

At some point, the scenery changes, and the amount of trees started to increase.

Eventually, Jay stepped off the trail into the woods.

"As you can see, chatters, this place is PERFECT for a cryptid! Low foot traffic, secluded environment, cold dead ai-"

A few quick footsteps were heard nearby.

The camera stopped moving.

"... Chatters?"

The camera moved slowly side to side, as more footsteps were heard, though their sound faded away very soon.

Even the stream chat was silent and unmoving.

Slowly and wordlessly, the camera starts moving more into the woods, looking around at the slowly increasing amount of trees.

Suddenly, Jay shouted.

"YOOO!"

The viewers watched as Jay turned the camera around to face him, and he pointed to something in the snow.

Footprints.

"Dudes... dudettes... dudeens... look."

He brought his phone closer to the footprints-- they were quite long, like a lagomorphs. Alongside them were handprints.

“Yo… do you guys think this is the winter beast?”

The chat was flush with “oh shit”s and “holy fuck it’s the beast”s, along with some “😨” emojis.

“… man. You know, guys, I honestly wasn’t sure this was real or not. I thought that at most, we were gonna find a feral wolf. But this? This could be something else, Jay-mers.

"Oh well, enough rambling. Let's keep going."

Jay followed the prints in the snow.

Soon, the forest took a slightly different look-- the bark on some trees looked worn and bitten, some trees had chunks of it peeled off, the pieces nearly buried in snow on the ground. On some trees, it looked like someone had scratched it multiple times. Some even had dents.

The livestream footage started shaking a little.

Silence for a moment. Jay spoke up.

"'Jay, the camera is shaking'? Sorry, it's... it's getting cold."

His tone was unconvincing, laced with anxiety.

A noise was heard in another direction-- quick footsteps hitting the snow, twigs snapping. The camera was jerked over to said direction... where some freshly rustled tree branches were swaying gently.

The chat was not happy.

"... I... think it went that way, gamers— I-I mean Jaymers. We’re… gonna find a Cryptid, yeah?”

Jay continued in the direction of the rustled branches for another 5 minutes. It started to lightly snow during that time.

The camera shook slightly the whole way.

Finally, he and the audience came upon a clearing in the woods. The only ones truly there were Jay and the snow.

Total silence. Jay slowly turned the camera to face him. His face was creased with lines of fear, and he talked in an unsteady voice.

“Well, chatters… we’re here now. I’m really not sure if the Cryptid is anywhere near us right now. Honestly, I think I want to turn back now… But! If I get 100 more subscribers in the next 5 minutes, I’ll keep go—“

Suddenly, Jays eyes widened, and his mouth hung agape. He seemed to be staring at something off screen.

“… huh?”

He turned the camera again.

Something— or perhaps someone— was on the other side of the clearing.

Not many fine details could be seen from where Jay stood. Who/whatever it was, it was tall and stood with a slight hunch on two legs. Its face (or head) seemed long, with two ear like appendages atop it. It was also… wearing something blue?

Either way, the creature stood in silence.

Until Jay piped up again.

“Oh. My. GOD. We did it, chatters!!”

Jay turned himself around and his excited face appeared in the frame as the Winter Beast stood.

“We found a Cryptid! We actually found a Cryptid!!! I cant believe it, Jay-mers— the Winter Beast is real!”

The chat erupted in figurative applause. People said things like “LETS GOOOOOOOO” and “WE DID IT YOTUB” and “Common James W”. Comments such as “well technically it’s not a Cryptid anymore since you’ve confirmed it exists” were not considered.

“This is no lie the coolest thing we’ve done, Jay-mers. I’m gonna get SO. MUCH. INTERNATIONAL CLOUT for this. Guys, if I get 500 subscribers in the next 5 minutes, I’ll go UP FACE TO FACE with the beast!”

Jay was so enraptured in rooting his own horn, he didn’t notice or hear the beast bounding up impossibly fast behind him… until it bounced.

Jays phone was released from his grasp as he yelped in shock, and fell to the snowy ground. The camera was now facing towards the sky, with some trees in the bottom of the frame.

Though the view was barren, and the camera was very slowly being covered with snowflakes, the stream wasn't devoid of sound.

The tearing of clothes could be heard off screen, along with the sounds of growling, hissing, and thumping.

Along with Jay's voice.

"STOP! STOP IT! STO-- ow, shi-- OW! SOME ONE, ANYONE, HELP! PLEASE! STOP HURTING ME, I DIDN'T MEAN ANY BAD BY CO--"

Jay suddenly let out a blood curdling scream, cut short after a few seconds.

The chat was eerily silent.

A new noise started up-- it sounded like a harsh, gurgling noise. Soon, it was joined by wheezing and gasping.

Eventually, both noises stopped.

After a few seconds, another noise started. It sounded like something getting dragged through the snow.

The phone tilted a bit from its current position, and the ground and clearing entered the frame, albeit askew. Now the viewers had a better angle.

The Winter Beast was dragging Jay-- well, Jay's body through the snow. His eyes were turned up to the sky, now faded in color, and some blood leaked from his mouth. The most noticeably thing, though, was the large gash in his neck, and a curtain of blood was slowly pouring out and dripping off his coat, staining the snow pink into red.

The Beast looked up.

He made eye contact with the camera.

He dropped the cats corpse in the snow, and crawled over to the phone.

His face could be seen in all of its horrible glory now. Both ears were flopped over and dark purple at the tips, and the same colour was on his nose as well. On the bridge of the nose, the skin had peeled away, revealing a patch of bone. One eye was completely covered by ice, and looked away in a different direction than the other. His lower jaw had completely rotted to bone, exposing his bottom teeth and his floppy grey-green tongue. Blood soaked his maw and dripped off onto his ratty blue coat.

He picked up the phone and stared into the camera, and spoke one sentence.

"I hope you all enjoyed the show."

The frame quickly changed to the top of the Beasts head, as if he had raised it up, before the scenery started spinning and spinning and--

The sound of metallics and glass crunching was heard for a millisecond.

The stream ended.

[acclistamine]

PEZ - a Halloween Creepypasta by Jack Frankery

A new kid showed up in my middle school one day. He walked in like an alien, clean and pressed, with a collared shirt and combed dark hair. Among a mass of awkward tweens he stuck out like a weirdo in the haystack. If I knew what was good for me, I would’ve avoided him...but I didn’t.  

I befriended him immediately and, to my surprise, I liked the strange prep-school kid. He didn’t cringe, he didn’t avoid me, and when I told a joke, he cracked a wide, open mouth smile with a full set of brace-less teeth. I thought, why not ask him to hang out after school?  

He lived a big, old house with a cracked, overgrown driveway. To be honest, it looked abandoned. To avoid getting nervous, I started asking questions. “So why did you move?” I asked. There was a moment of silence as our feet crunched along the driveway. I tried again. “So are your parents at work?” Caleb walked for a few more seconds and then turned suddenly.  

“Do you want to see my room?” he asked, staring at me with dark eyes. I hesitated, then nodded. What if he had antiques? or servants? or gold and jewels or... my imagination ran wild as Caleb led me inside.  

To my surprise, the house was nearly empty and lampless, save for some piles of boxes and shabby furniture. And his room was dark as a basement. “Why’s it so dark in here?” I asked.

“I don’t like to disturb them when I’m away,” said Caleb. He chuckled and ripped open his blackout curtains to let in the setting sun.  I gasped.  

His entire room...was filled...with PEZ dispensers. Thousands of them. They covered wall shelves and dressers and display cases and even a few were even arranged over his bed pillows like stuffed animals. There were comic book pez, celebrity pez, cartoon pez, and some pez that I had no idea who they were.

“Are these all yours?” I asked. Oh yes, Caleb responded. The pit that had building in my stomach lifted. He was a nerd! And from that moment on, we were fast friends. That is, until Chris found me walking home from school one day.  

He popped out from behind a bush with an evil grin on his face. Chris was a homocide convict in the making, complete with ratty hair, a barrel chest, and a passion for keeping me in my place. “Where’s your new boyfriend?” Chris said. He shoved me and I promptly fell to the ground. “Get up.” Without thinking I did as I was told, clutching my side. “So where’s your boyfriend from?” Chris asked. The directness of the question caught me by surprise. I realized, I had no idea.  

Chris took me by the shirt and pulled me away from the street, into someone’s backyard where it was harder to see. “One day, you'll grow some balls and stop being such a pussy.” I mumbled a reply as Chris laughed. He pressed me against a large tree trunk and breathed in my ear, “So tell me, what’s it feel like to have Harry Potter’s cock up your ass?”  

I inhaled sharply smelling a mixture of energy drinks, cigarettes, and beef jerky. I began to kick and try to elbow my way out, but Chris’s grip hardened on my neck. “You fucking little pussy,” he growled and started pulling at the waistband of my jeans. Then, suddenly, Chris’s body pressure was gone.  

I heard a yelp from behind me and found that Chris was being dragged into the bushes on the ground by his shirt collar. I could only see his feet dangling out of the foliage, kicking violently as he screamed, the sound of tiny teeth ripping his clothes and skin. For a moment I stood frozen as Chris’s thrashing got slower and slower. Then, I ran home.  

The word at school next week was that Chris was missing. Everyone was scared, especially me, but Caleb didn’t seem fazed at all. “Chris got what was coming to him,” Caleb said coldly.  

“Yeah, I mean, you’re right, but... how can you say that?” I asked.  

“I protect my friends.”  

“You...wait, did you have something to do with this?” I asked. Caleb seemed confused.

“Why do you care?”  

“Caleb if you--” I lowered my voice, “that’s serious shit. Fuck, Caleb--”  

“Then don’t talk about it.” Caleb said flatly and walked away.  

And I didn’t ask for the rest of the week. But eventually, my conscience got the better of me. So, one day, just as the sun was beginning to rise over the mist, I hid in the bushes and waited to sneak into Caleb’s house during school hours. To my surprise, the front door was open, and it was just as empty as the first time I’d been there. “Hello?” I called. I didn’t want his parents to catch me. Even so, I turned on the flashlight I had brought with me.

I walked into Caleb's dark kitchen and snooped around. There was no food in the cupboards or the fridge. My heart was beginning to race. I snuck into the master bedroom and found an old king-size bed, covered in a layer of dust. Did anyone live in this house? I should have just turned around and left, but I didn’t. I had to go to Caleb’s room.

I pushed the door open with a creak and threw open his blackout curtains. Again, I was astounded by the amount of PEZ dispensers in the room. They covered the place, all shining dully like plastic candles in the morning light. I started looking in his closet and his drawers and even under his mattress, all the while feeling like the PEZ dispensers were watching me with their eyes. What was I doing? It’s not like he would hide a body in his room, if anything it would be in his basement...I turned around to leave but something stopped me short.  

A PEZ blinked. I thought I was just going crazy with adrenaline, but I stared for another couple seconds and...it blinked again. It was blinking. The PEZ was blinking. In fact, they were all blinking.  

They were waking up. I scrambled over to the curtains and shut them again. I stood there for a minute, shining my flashlight on the PEZ standing still as stalagmites. I was going crazy. I picked one up to examine it.

They weren’t cartoons at all. In fact, the detail on them was so fine, it was like someone had printed a tiny human head onto their plastic shoulders. I couldn’t tell who. I heard a tiny clatter inside as I turned the PEZ over in my hand. To my surprise, there was candy inside. I laughed with nervousness as I popped it in my mouth. Maybe I was wrong about Caleb. Maybe.... I thought, and sucked on the hard candy.  

I recognized the face on one of them, though. I examined the thing as it stared blankly ahead with stringy, painted hair... Were they from a movie or what? Then, it hit me.  

It was Chris. I started, and my teeth crunched painfully on the candy. I spit it out into my hand and, buried in the blood and spit...was a human tooth. I screamed and dropped the PEZ onto the floor, teeth spilling over the hard wood like tic tacs. The face of the dispenser opened its tiny plastic mouth and screamed too. I jumped backwards and dozens of PEZ clattered onto the floor.  

Help me! They moaned in tiny voices. It was still pitch dark, but I could just make out in the flashlight, a hundred heads bobbing and clicking like colorful beetles. I fell on the floor and PEZ rolled off the shelves. Help me! They moaned as they fell onto the floor.  

“I’m sorry!” I yelled. “I’m sorry!” But the PEZ kept falling over like dominos. I shined my flashlight over the floor, and among the teeth. Help me! They moaned. They were moving. I screamed and ran out of that house faster than I’d ever run anywhere in my life. To this day, I don’t know if what I saw was real... but I never went back to that school. I never saw Caleb again. And I never, ever eat PEZ.  

[casspurrjoybell-24]

My Mate - Chapter 11 - Part 3

*Warning Adult Content*

"No," I exclaimed forcefully, tucking my head in the crease of Robert's neck where his scent glands are located and his scent is the strongest.

He kept telling me I should get dressed but he didn't understand that it physically hurt.

My skin felt raw when I wasn't in contact with him.

He growled, giving up and leaning his back against the headboard.

His big hands slid up my sides and he pulled me over so I was straddling him.

Happy, I rubbed against his bare chest.

My whole body was like one big nerve and it felt almost euphoric when he touched me.

He smelt so good too... I just wanted him to hold me forever.

"You should eat," he spoke up, disrupting the silence.

His hands moving to my back.

Humming, I licked at his neck and made the male grumble as his arms tightened around me.

My licks turned to wet kisses as I followed up his neck and along his strong jaw.

I could feel how I affected him.

It would of been impossible to hide with me straddling him.

He must be uncomfortable confined in his jeans but he made no attempts to relieve himself.

Pulling back, I met his dark brown eyes and smiled.

Robert chuckled, leaning up and pressing a kiss to my lips.

"You're an Alpha now. The Alpha," I remembered.

How was I so lucky to get such a male as my Mate?

Robert is strong and respected and so... so handsome.

I'm just a plain Omega... one of the dozens in the pack.

"I am," he nodded.

"And soon I'll have the cutest fucking Luna."

My face heated and I hid it in the crease of his neck, unable to wipe off my smile.

"I'm not cute, I'm sexy," I joked and Robert laughed.

"I agree but you're still really fucking cute."

Nipping at his neck playfully, I didn't expect him to react so strongly.

His moan made me shiver and tingle.

Whining softly, I wiggled over the bulge under me.

One of the Alpha male's big hands slipped under the sheet bunched up around my waist and he roughly grabbed my bare bottom, the other hand tangled in my hair and pulled my head back.

His lips roughly smashed against mine, his tongue demanding entrance.

I submitted so easily, letting him do as he pleased.

I wanted whatever he had to offer... I even started to wonder if waiting until after the Matting Ceremony was all that important.

It wasn't like he's not my Mate... he is... what's the point of waiting to mate with him?

A loud knocking startled me so much I jumped and tumbled off the bed, squeaking.

Robert burst into laughter, his face turning red from the force of it.

"Shut up," I cried dramatically, staying where I was on the floor.

"Oh my Moon Goddess," he laughed, wiping at tears under his eyes.

I glared at him, jumping again when there was another knock.

Scrambling to me feet, I jumped on the bed and dove under the covers.

Peeking out, I watched Robert get up to see who it was.

The big idiot was still laughing at me like it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

My eyes traveled over the expanse of his muscular back, all the way down to where his jeans hung sensuously from his narrow hips.

My body started to ache again and I tried not to wiggle around on the bed in search of friction.

He opened the door, making me narrow my eyes because he hadn't put a shirt on.

Now eye candy for whoever was disturbing us.

"I know, I know," a female spoke up quickly before Robert could say anything.

I slammed my face a pillow at the sound of my Mom's voice.

Moon Goddess, she's going to haul me out of here.

"I brought food and drinks."

Huh? Lifting my head, I could see Robert was as confused as me.

I couldn't see mom over his broad shoulders, which was probably a good thing because I was currently naked in a male's bed.

Well, he's my Mate but surely Mom wouldn't want to see that.

Making sure I was fully covered, I pretended to be sleeping and listened as Mom passed over a cart of food.

Robert wouldn't let her step in the room, being territorial but Mom didn't seem to mind.

"Make sure he eats and drinks plenty of water," she fretted.

I smiled, silently thanking the Moon Goddess she hadn't come to drag me away.

Robert chuckled as he shut the door behind him, making sure to lock it so no one could barge in.

I sat up on my knees, eyes on the cart of food. Mom had really outdone herself.

There were snacks and bottled water on the bottom, on top was steaming lasagna and breadsticks.

I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I got a whiff of all the freshly cooked food.

Waiting impatiently, Robert unwrapped one of the plates before offering it to me.

I scooted back against the headboard and got comfortable while Robert got his own plate.

Shoveling food in my mouth, I moaned.

"Make sure to breathe," Robby teased.

I didn't respond, only snatched one of the breadsticks off his plate.

Nothing else was said, the both of us too busy inhaling my Mom's food.

When we were finished, Robert piled everything back on the cart.

We laid there, stuffed and content.

"Don't tell my Mom I said this but your mom's food is the best," Robby said.

Giggling, I turned onto my side and cuddled up against him.

"I think that's why she was hired as head chef."

Everyone knew that when Luna came into the kitchen to help, to give her something minimal to do that wouldn't spoil the whole meal.

The same kind of jobs I was given.

"One time she cooked us dinner and Dad made us eat her burnt meatloaf."

His hand started rubbing my back soothingly and I hummed.

"I haven't had meatloaf since," he said, a look of horror on his face from the memory.

"Do you remember when she made chicken noodle soup and everyone got sick?" I snickered and Robby groaned.

"I think that's when Mom finally realized she couldn't cook."

"Well if giving half the pack food poisoning didn't do it, who knows what would have."

"Death," Robby chuckled.

We continued sharing stories and joking around.

As much as I enjoyed listening to my Mate's voice and learning anything I could about him, I was constantly distracted by the ache throughout my body.

It was strange, being so desperate for his touch.

'My heats' had never been so intense.

I could go a week with mild cramps and the occasional horniness but there was never this unavoidable need to be touched.

What was really bothering me, was that Robert hadn't even attempted touching me in the way I so blatantly wanted.

Any other male would of had his way with me.

Did my own Mate not want me in that way?

Grumpy, I rolled on top of Robby.

He paused in his mindless banter about humans to look at me.

Scooting down, I straddled his thighs and boldly grabbed his jeans to unbutton them.

"Woah," Robby gripped my hands, sitting up quickly.

"What are you doing?"

"I just wanna see," I lied and he knew it.

I wanted to do more than just look.

He raised a brow, his eyes searching mine.

I knew he probably thought it was just 'my heat' talking... it wasn't.

I was curious and I did want to see him, all of him... he's my Mate.

My Heat may be giving me a little nudge and the confidence boost I needed to initiate anything, but that's all.

Robert didn't look so sure.

"We should wait until after our Mating Ceremony."

"You let others touch you, why not me?" the words flew out without much thought, my feelings hurt.

Was it because I wasn't as pretty as the male I'd found in his bed?

I knew it was a stupid thought and wrong of me but I was jealous.

Others had seen all of my Mate, had seen him in the throes of passion, had touched him and been touched by him.

Even my heat couldn't get rid of the lingering thought in the back of my mind, the knowledge that Robert had been with others.

Mom had always told me that kind of intimacy was only to be shared between Mates who love each other.

"Fuck off, Torin," Robby spat, his jaw ticking and exposing his anger.

He pushed me off him before he got up and slammed the bathroom door shut behind him.

Pulling the cover over my head, I pouted, upset with myself.

Of course I had to mess up and ruin what had been a good day.

Only minutes ago we had been joking and laughing.

I should have been satisfied with cuddling.

Now my Mate was in a bad mood because of me.

[ditchwizardry]

My very own future self: my greatest adversary?

"You look familiar," the grizzled fellow said. "I swear you looked older back then. Do wizards have kids?"

"It's important that you not recognize me, actually," I lied, still reeling from the crash. "The timeline will implode. Leave me alone for like five minutes?"

"Shit, it is you," he said, scrambling up from the folding camp chair there on the little lawn in the town square. "Look, I don't know when the last time you were on Earth was," he said, gesturing around at the town which, to my eyes, looked more or less the same but perhaps grungier.

And, there were a lot more solar panels. And the water was covering some of the buildings that used to be on the waterfront. Just roofs sticking up, now. And there weren't any of those metal carriages with the rubber tires, just several bicycles and flimsy fabric-and-tubing carts with skinny wheels like the bicycles. The harbor was full of floating gardens and more solar panels on rafts, along with every variety of small vessel, and one of the old ferries seemed to have its own area cordoned off.

On more prolonged gazing, I deduced that the ferry wasn't in shadow, but had in fact been covered in plates of armor and painted a dull grey that matched the sky and sea almost as well as it clashed with them at the same time. Hundreds of little cannon barrels poked out from the armor plates, like warships in the age of sail.

"Oh, forgive me," I said with an appropriate level of sarcastic smarm. "I didn't realize wizards needed to make special arrangements if they're gone for more than….how long ago did the big earthquake happen, actually?"

A look of deep and bitter sorrow played across the crags of the man's face. He looked away, wistfully. "Forty-five years in March."

"Thirty-eight years, then," I said. "Time flies when you're not in it!"

He glared at me. "Everyone here who was around back then lost somebody."

I glared back, now. "How many people do you think I've lost to tsunamis? Tsunamis I hold myself responsible for? Don't play grief chicken with an immortal with a headache."

He seemed more confused than chastised by this, but age and rough times had given him the grace to brush it off. "Why are you here, Ditch Wizard?"

I picked myself up from my own tangle of limbs on the ground amidst the pieces of the broken broom. "I told you, the timeline, it might collapse if you keep -- "

"You were aiming for a different time, weren't you?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

He patted me on the shoulder. "It's okay, your future self warned us about the possibility of this happening almost a month ago, now. There's a care package."

"That doesn't sound like me," I said, immediately suspicious.

"He said you'd say that. Now you're going inte--"

"--rupt, yes, of course, because he remembered how irritating he was to me right now, that bastard!"

I spat on the ground. A tiny oak tree grew up from nothing, sprouted tiny leaves, turned from green to yellow to orange before they fell, and the whole business collapsed into ash.

The grizzled man jumped at the sight. "What the fuck?"

"Sorry," I grumbled. "I just hate how condescending his 'kind' and 'knowing' gestures end up feeling. I'll literally never be able to catch up to him." I growled. "I hate him with every fiber of my being."

"Wow, that's really weird and fucked up," the grizzled man said, patting my shoulder again. "I'm sorry, buddy. He didn't tell us about that part."

I wiped away a small, extremely manly tear. "Can you…take me to the care package?"

"Sure, buddy. Come on." He gestured at the ferry. "It's on the Kulshan, under the Commodore's care."

"I'm sorry for yelling," I said. "What's your name, young man?"

He chuckled. "I'm surprised you don't recognize your apprentice's little brother."

I squinted at him. "Nope, nothing. Which apprentice? One of the Earth ones, right?"

I couldn't tell if he was mildly offended or disturbed by my apparent senility. Regardless, he answered only after a long, awkward silence. "Ethan's brother? You pulled me out of a….truck monster thing? Saved my life? And you wrote my letter of recommendation for college? You came to our house every night for a whole summer?"

I plumbed my memories, magnet-like, and belched out what noises I could dredge up in any relation to the context I'd just been given. It wasn't nothing, but it wasn't a lot. "Stevon? Strem? Steeb? It's Steeb, right?"

He sighed. "Kevin. It's Kevin. Our dad was Steve, though."

"Steeb was a good man," I offered. "Raised good sons."

"He lost all our money on bitcoin and died trying to sink his fishing boat for insurance money a month before the Big One made all of that stuff stop mattering ever again."

"Oof," I said, "'Big oof.'"

Kelvin looked at me oddly, then, and his expression seemed to soften. "Pretty big oof, yeah. You didn't know. How's my brother?"

"Alive and intact," I answered reflexively. "I mean, he's fine. It's only been a couple of years since we left, in our timeline. Probably shouldn't bring them here, huh?"

He nodded. "He…he doesn't need to know about what happened with dad. You have no idea how it makes me feel to know he's okay, though. He kind of…disappeared for my whole life. And then dad did the boat thing. Then the Big One happened and half the town got washed away. I know you told us he'd be okay, but still."

"I'll see what I can do about the…what was it, buttcoin? Next time I'm back then, I mean."

He looked at me oddly again, and then his whole expression and posture softened even more. "I suppose you will. Tell him I miss him, though."

"Of course," I lied. "I'll make a special point of remembering."

[texshire-books]

The Stanger by Anietta Strong

A week later. Mid-afternoon on what was an indifferent day. I decided to walk the shoreline. I liked to do this. No two trips were ever the same and today was no different. I normally looked down searching for treasure. I never found anything of any value but taking material values aside there was always something of interest. Things which had washed off shipping and floated to the shore from God knows where. I found a beer keg. I rolled it home and levered open the top. I had no idea who’s make of beer it was, but it tasted great for days until it went off. Now I use it for vinegar! I found a pair of women’s rather risqué panties! That set my mind thinking, who’s were they, how did they get to be floating in the sea and lying on the shoreline. I kept them, I washed them. I even wear them now! They don’t cover much but they were never designed to do that or worn for warmth.   

One day as I walked, I looked up along the beach. I saw what looked like a figure sitting down. I moved slowly closer – observing. I realised it was a young woman. She was seated, knees up, her arms clamped around her legs. Her head was down. I knew that stance, the same empty stare I imagined too. Here was a woman deep in thought, someone seeking an answer which wasn’t immediately available.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked the young woman who looked at me after Misty had bounded up and disturbed her train of thought. She’d been crying. She just nodded and continued her long stare.

‘I’ve been where you are.’ I responded boldly, knowing that statement was impossible because everyone had their own reasons for where this woman had ended up.

‘I doubt it.’ She replied.

‘We could compare notes, I don’t live far away, I’ve got unopened bottles of wine. I hate drinking alone.’ I paused; I didn’t want to pressure her. ‘I’m heading back anyway, you’re welcome to join me, if not it was nice meeting you.’ The ending sounded a bit naff; I knew fuck all about her. Anyway, it worked because I’d only gone a hundred metres or so and I looked back; she was following. Strangely enough Misty was walking next to her, maybe ensuring she arrived.

‘You live here?’ She asked incredulously.

‘Why not, the rent is fucking cheap!’ I replied bluntly with a smile.

‘But it’s in the middle of nowhere?’ She still didn’t seem convinced.

‘An even better reason don’t you think. You found me, didn’t you? What’s your excuse?’ Our replies were clipped and inviting hostility.

‘You found me remember. I was sat minding my own business.’ Oh my god I loved the mouth on her!

‘Nobody travels along here without a fishing rod unless they are seeking to escape from something. That’s why I’m here. You could tell me what brought you here? Let me fetch the bottle and some glasses, take a pew, sorry it’s only a chunk of log, but my furnishings are limited.’ I made to go inside.

‘Where do you pee?’ She asked.

‘Well, Misty here just squats where it takes her, you can too if you wish but I do have a loo! Fuck all else but you’re welcome to use it.’ The young woman followed me in, and I pointed to a door. ‘There’s no lock on the door but I’m not into watching people pee, you’re quite safe.’ She smiled and disappeared.

‘God, I’d love to live here.’ The woman spoke after a period of silence where we both looked out at sea.

‘I hope you’re not going to say I’m lucky.’ I replied.

‘Well, I’ve never had much luck, so no, that might seem a bit judgmental.’ I nodded.

‘Me either. I long ago stopped believing in luck. I was just fortunate that the day I spotted this magnificent dwelling I had decided to walk along this stretch of beach. Had this not been here I doubt I’d still be here either.’ She laughed.

‘Isn’t that a bit obvious?’ She asked.

‘I mean still living and breathing. I’d pretty much decided there was little left for me to live for. I think I would have settled down by the shore, just like you were and wait for the exposure to the chill wind to cause me to shut down. Nobody comes here. I’d never have been found, okay I would have eventually, but not in time.’ I think I shocked her.

‘So, you really have been where I was.’ I just nodded slowly and sipped my wine. ‘I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I still don’t.’ She reacted.

‘You can stay here until you work out what you want. You’ll have to share a bed with me and a dog that farts!’ I replied.

‘I fart too!’ She replied.

‘So do I.’ We both burst out laughing.

‘You going to tell me why you were sitting looking like your world had ended. Are things that bad?’ I asked as we sat eating a snack later.

‘We all have a past.’

‘We can choose to have a future too if we desire it badly enough.’ I reacted.

‘I guess I’m at that point right now, I still haven’t decided. What made you decide?’ She was a struggle, a closed tap, not a single drop leaking.

‘Do you always deflect, answer a question with a question?’ I asked.

‘Depends on the question.’

‘I bet there is a man behind where you are now?’

‘Isn’t there always, I bet men have caused you problems too.’ Another question of sorts.

‘Men destroyed my career then I got raped.’ I concentrated my woes into a short, simple reply. I saw fear on her face. Suddenly, I wish I knew her name. When she didn’t respond I continued. ‘I call myself Storm. We had one of those a few days ago. I thought it wouldn’t end. I was pretty much trapped in here. I decided to do a reset on my life, not identify traditionally. I had a name, a normal past. I turned my back on that. I decided to be whoever and whatever I chose. It’s important for you to know this, should you choose to stay.’ I felt that statement might be hard to deflect or reply with another. I was wrong.

‘Would you like me to?’ I shrugged. I caught the habit.

‘Would you like to?’ I watched her reaction. She looked down and sadness dripped off her very being.

‘Yes, I���d like that very much. I feel welcomed. I know I’m hard work as a conversationalist, but I’ve learned the hard way the need to be wary.’ She replied softly.

‘This shack was in a right state when I arrived. The front door was hanging by one hinge. It seems some old man lived here but he died. He was found half decomposed just outside. I took it on. I think it’s a dwelling which attracts victims. I arrived, then days later Misty walked in, literally out of the mist. Maybe that’s how the old guy arrived too. Perhaps he built it, obviously someone did, I have no idea why. There are the remains of others littered around. Most just wooden skeletal remains. Why they were built is as much a mystery as this one is?’ The woman digested my words then answered in a way I could take or leave as a question.

‘I guess I’m its latest victim then.’ I shrugged.

‘You could be. The big question is whether you choose to remain one. Do you?’ I looked into her green eyes, beautiful eyes which actually sent shivers down my spine.

‘I was a victim, Storm. I don’t feel like I’m one here.’ I smiled. I welcomed that response. I felt the barrier she had put up now had a brick or two removed.

‘Can I call you something, it doesn’t have to be the name you used in a different life.’ She shrugged now, then made a suggestion.

‘Call me Vicky. It derives from victim. I was a victim until Misty stuck her cold nose on my face, then you appeared. Do you mind?’ A strange question.

‘Mind? Oh goodness no. All our names here derive from something linked to an event. A fog blowing in from the sea, a howling wind in my case. Your name results from what I suspect were a long train of events, most likely all unpleasant. Just so long as it doesn’t remind you of any. Moving forward means not looking back. Feel free to change it at any time if your past starts to catch up.’ We shook hands on that. Clasping her hand was a strange experience. Hers was tiny, her fingers long. They were smooth and not used to hard work. Mine were hard and gnarled, but they hadn’t always been so. I held it and neither felt any inclination to let go and release our physical contact. ‘Are you hungry?’ I asked which broke the spell and our hands parted.  Our eye contact remained while she considered her reply.

‘What is there to eat? I don’t see a fridge or a freezer, how do you decide?’ I hoped my reply wouldn’t turn her off and she’d be on her way. I’d got used to her company and I didn’t want that to end.

‘Do you like fish?’ I asked. If she said no, I was fucked.

‘I’ve eaten fish, yes. Mainly a takeout from the local chippy. Otherwise, not often, it’s so expensive.’ That reply gave me hope.

‘There is no chippy around here and the fish is free. All you have to do is catch it.’ Her eyes opened like saucers.

‘Really, I’ve never caught a fish.’ She reacted as if I’d just suggested the impossible.

‘Well, we better go and get dinner then, the great thing down here is you don’t have to queue at the checkout.’ We both got up, I brought a sharp knife from a drawer, and we headed to the shoreline.

‘Wow, that was good, the bones take some getting used to but that is a small price to pay for something that good.’ Vicky complimented me an hour later. The trot line I’d put out earlier had produced a treasure trove of mackerel which I gutted at the shoreline, washing them too in the oncoming tide.

‘The diet might become a bit monotonous. I haven’t mastered too many baking skills, do you cook?’ I asked Vicky.

‘I do actually, I came to believe that was all I was good at.’ That sounded a blessing, I imagined hot fresh bread, baked in the Aga.

‘Was that really your opinion or one you eventually found yourself forced to conclude?’ I suspected I knew the answer already.

‘You can only be told you’re fucking useless so many times before you become forced to believe that you are.’ I got my answer, I didn’t push to found out who had decided that. I assumed the truth lay more with the person who doubtless made that comment often. The corrosive words dripping poison drop by drop until the person hearing the words had to concede they were true. We cleared up and sat close together on the only comfortable seating available.

‘You sure this will be enough for you?’ I asked. I had felt my lifestyle had become austere; dare I say extreme. I didn’t wish to force this on my guest.

‘You mean no telly to watch Eastenders?’ Her reply delivered with a smile.

‘I was more a Corrie fan to be honest.’ I replied in similar vein. ‘Do you have a phone, social media, all that. Won’t you miss it?’ I asked.

‘Did you?’ The inevitable question disguised as a reply.

‘I was never a great fan. Like email, it’s far too easy to become an armchair warrior. Saying things about people you’d never say if they stood facing you.’

‘Tell me about it, that reason alone makes life here so appealing. I heard of people sitting as close as we are texting each other. People will soon forget what their tongues are for!’ Vikki replied.

‘Unless you’re a man, they usually know what theirs is for.’ That caused a smile of sorts.

‘You sure you don’t mind me sleeping with you?’ The subject was abruptly changed. This seemed to happen every time the word man was uttered.

‘Does it worry you, sleeping with a same sex person?’

‘Good god no. The clothes I’m wearing is all I own now. I can’t even thing of returning to pack my things, besides, I expect they are strewn down the road. He’d have cleared any trace of me by now.’ For the first time she’d opened up. She had been living with a man but in totally different circumstances to me. I owned the house I live in; I suspect she didn’t.

‘I did bring my stuff.  Or at least I went back for mine. We have a similar build, feel free to rummage through my knicker drawer.’ She still looked worried.

‘I need a bath, I rather stink!’ I shrugged.

‘I’m a bit rank myself. I wasn’t planning on oral sex tonight if that worried you.’ I saw shock appear on her face, then disappear in an instant when she responded.

‘Thank God, we can leave it until tomorrow then?’ I wasn’t sure if she was being serious. What if she meant it?

‘Sorry, I was being frivolous.’ I decided to shock her.

‘I wasn’t, I meant what I said.’ I delivered that with a broad smile.  ‘We could continue this conversation in bed.’ I made the suggestion because I suspected facing this part of the evening was bothering her.

‘I don’t want you going to bed early just to please me?’

‘I’m not. Misty and I often go to bed early. Your problem will be to claim enough space on your side of the bed. She will sleep down the middle of the bed if you get in before her, otherwise you’ll have to cosy up with me.’ I saw a nervous look appear.

‘I don’t wear anything in bed.’ She delivered that as if she had an infectious disease.

‘Neither do I, but I won’t tell anyone unless you do?’

‘I’m a shy girl Storm.’  I now saw why she was nervous.

‘We can get round that. You get in bed first then once you’ve chosen your spot, I’ll let Misty in. Once you’re settled you close your eyes while I hop in?’ She looked at me in amazement.

‘You make it sound so clinical?’ I shrugged.

‘Well, it’s you bothered about me seeing your scrawny arse!’ She pouted.

‘It’s not scrawny. I’ll have you know my bum has received compliments.’

‘For Christ's sake take the fucking kettle into the washroom which is off the bedroom through that door. Wash your bits and get into bed. I’ll clear up and let Misty out for a final pee.’ Vicky got up. I wasn’t sure what she was used to, but she’d have to learn fast.

‘Shut your eyes, you’ve been warned.’ I walked into the bedroom after my own wash was completed. To my surprise Vicky was sat up in bed, her breasts on display. I shrugged and walked to my side of the bed. Misty provided separation. ‘I thought you were shy, what are those.’ I looked closer now and saw bruising I hadn’t noticed earlier. I realised she wasn’t shy at all. She was very likely ashamed. She noticed I’d seen the bruising and I suspected there was a lot more. I slid into bed and sat up too. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air like a bad smell.

‘I hoped you wouldn’t see the marks.’ She spoke softly, submissively.

‘You can show me the rest, I’m not shocked or surprised, just resigned.’

‘What do you mean?’ She asked me.

‘It’s what I’ve come to expect in a male dominated world.’

‘You really don’t like men, do you?’ It seemed a rather strange question to ask as she peeled the bedcovers back to reveal extensive bruising which extended down her whole body to her legs. I encouraged Misty to get off. I needed to see this.

‘I don’t think either of us have benefited from our association with men, do you?’ I suggested.

‘They are not all like the animal who did this to me.’ Vicky replied. She knelt with her back to me and the full extent of a sustained beating over an extended period was on display.

 ‘The question is, how can you tell? Okay, the waste of space I lived with appeared to be non-violent, but when I left my job and the gravy train he was on hit the buffers, he raped me. So, when did you realise?’

‘Pretty much from the off if I’m honest. At first, I convinced myself it was my fault, then I realised it wasn’t, but I remained in denial. He was like them all, they say they are sorry, it won’t happen again, but it did. Then one day I just left, decided to have a day out. I caught a train without any planned destination. I then caught a bus. I couldn’t return, I had no money. I found myself walking along this beach, I sat down. You know the rest.’ I reached out and ran my hands over the dark bruising, I saw her shudder as my hand made contact with her skin. ‘That’s nice, I can’t remember when I was touched rather than slapped or punched.’ I realised what I was about to do carried risks of being misconstrued. I decided to chance it. I pulled her close and lay down next to her. I had my arm around her. She tensed at first, possibly questioning my motives, but she relaxed when she realised, I was just offering her basic human contact. We were both naked and our warm skins blended, I knew the end result of feeling wanted by another human being would have been the same had we been fully clothed. It was just intimacy without a sexual connotation. She started to cry, and I pulled her even tighter. I dragged the covers over and Misty took that as meaning she could rejoin us again. She lay next to Vicky and the sandwich was complete.

I woke several times in the night. Vikki was holding onto me and snuggled against me tight like a frightened child. The room was in total darkness, but I could still see her sleeping face in the gloom. She looked happy and relaxed, and my shoulder felt wet where I suspect she had dribbled. I’d never been this close to a woman. I had wondered how I would feel in such an event. I assumed I would reject such closeness as an unwanted sexual advance but her being this close didn’t feel like that at all. Besides, I hadn’t I pulled HER in close? I had seen the physical abuse showing on most parts of her body previously covered by her clothes. I’d felt a mixture of rage and compassion, anger towards the beast who had punched and probably kicked her, but also the need to comfort a young woman who had lost her way. Nobody had beaten me like this. Okay I had been raped but I didn’t put up a fight, I had struggled and said no, but he ignored me and still had his way. In one sense it had been a blessing because I knew this would be the last time and he’d then be out of my life. I had been planning to part company anyway, but this had given me the perfect excuse to do it now rather than procrastinate. Maybe it was my concern he’d see his action as a rite of passage and that he’d now feel he owned my body when I had never doubted for a minute I did.

I was woken another time by movement. Her movement. She was crawling across me, her sweating skin now sliding over mine.

‘You, okay?’ I whispered in the darkness.

‘I need a pee; I can’t see a thing.’ She replied.

‘Hang on, I’ve got a torch.’ I leaned over and found the small flashlight I’d kept for this very purpose. She switched it on, and my eyes were blinded by its brightness. I watched her stand and move away towards the door. I noticed then her beautiful silhouette, a perfect shadow cast on the wall, her small tight bottom and pert breasts which turned upwards slightly. I could see what a man could feel arousing towards her; I was quite surprised to feel some attraction myself. I smiled and put it aside in my thoughts, something else I imagined? I’d curled up and got back to sleep, then I felt her body against mine once more, she was returning. ‘Here, I’ll slide over, come where I’ve been sleeping it’s warm, you’re freezing.’ I slid back, in turn pushing Misty who typically had taken advantage of vacant space and tried to stretch out, as dogs did on a bed. I now had Vikki facing me, looking at me, her breath minty fresh.

‘I borrowed your toothbrush; I hope you don’t mind.’ I realised there were lots of personal items she would need including a toothbrush. That announcement felt so intimate. Of course, I didn’t mind, I just hoped my own breath wasn’t going to put her off.

‘No, feel free. When a girl turns up with as little as you did, you’re bound to need everyday things. I’ve got other things a girl needs should it be that time.’ I left her to work that out which she obviously did by her next comment.

‘No, it’s fine. I’ve just finished. That was what the row was about, he wanted sex but said I was disgusting. He kicked me out of bed, told me to get out of his sight. I think this distance is far enough, don’t you?’ I laughed and kissed the tip of her nose. I realised immediately what I had done.

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.’ I reacted quickly hoping she’d understand.

‘It’s fine. I didn’t mind. You express your kindness in a lovely way. I like that.’

‘I know but I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.’ I replied, still feeling the necessity to mitigate my action.

‘What idea is that Storm, that I’d think you were coming onto me?’

‘Something like that.’

‘I’ve wanted to kiss you several times. To thank you for taking in this waif from the storm. I’m quite tactile, I often kiss girls. Women are like that aren’t they? It doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian.’ I was breathless after that reply and to reinforce her answer she kissed me gently on my lips. ‘Thank you, I wanted minty breath when I did that. See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?’ I realised now using my toothbrush had a motive.

We settled back to sleep, or at least she did. I lay awake looking at her. I tried to imagine her age. I had assumed early twenties, but I suspected she was possibly younger. I didn’t know her real name, but I’d buried mine, so it didn’t bother me. I wanted her to stay, I felt a growing connection and I sensed she liked me. My fear was I wouldn’t be enough for her, that the primitive lifestyle I had chosen and embraced would slowly lose its novelty. I decided I’d invest in a small wind powered generator. There was plenty blowing in from the sea. At least she wouldn’t have to pee by torchlight.  I hoped I could find an electrician to carry out the work, I wouldn’t know where to start. I knew I was a worrier.  Spending too much time worrying about things which might never happen. I thought about those kisses earlier. Mine a simple peck, more mischievous than with any intent. Hers felt more intentional and was more than a peck. Her soft lips lingered a few milliseconds too long, it was an indication of affection. I was staring at her contented face, her arms moved around involuntarily as she slept feeling my breasts, almost like she was feeling her way, exploring the unknown. At one time her hand went lower. It didn’t travel between my legs, but it brushed me low enough to wonder if she might. What if she had and I looked and found she was no longer asleep. That she was staring at me? My make your mind up moment. I wondered how I’d react. I looked back to my first ever sexual experience. I’d never imagined for a moment it wouldn’t be other than a boy. Hadn’t my brother sexually abused me? I had decided that didn’t count. So, when a boy at school kissed me, I decided that was the moment to chalk up as my first encounter. I went through each thereafter; I remembered every one. That wasn’t too difficult because they didn’t happen with regularly. The thing is I never for a single moment imagined ever kissing a girl. Yet I just did, however briefly and on an unlikely place, her nose for fuck’s sake! Another slightly troubling thought was I’d never had a satisfactory sexual relationship. I’d masturbated to a climax often, but I’d never had one while engaged in sex. There was a message there surely, but was I making far too much of this? I even wondered whether sleeping naked with Vicky was a great idea? But what if I gave her a message of rejection should I suggest wearing clothing in future. It felt like cutting off my nose to spite my face. I rather liked her soft warm skin against mine. As if by some means of telepathy, she turned over. I now felt her bum pressing against my hand. I found to my horror I was feeling its rounded contours. I moved it away as if I’d just had an electric shock. She moved herself back and fitted herself into my lap. I felt contented and tried to sleep.

A week went by. Vicky realised how different her life was now, even simple day to day matters such as going to the supermarket or local Indian run convenience store wasn’t possible here. We cycled to the nearest store, her seated on the saddle while I stood on the pedals. I decided then and there I’d get her a cycle too. Soon after finding the store for the first time, I learned the owner had adapted to the different needs of his local clientele. A man of wisdom who realised most of them were in fact like us, living effectively off grid. Obviously, nobody was quite as isolated and living basic with a capital B as we were but when he realised, I had no means of communication with the outside world, by that I really mean an internet connection and links to my Amazon account and others, even EBay, he pointed to an area set aside at the far end of the store.

I still had my bank card which paid for essentials, but I was invited to log in and use his system. Anything I ordered would arrive at the store and I’d cycle out to collect it. I let Vicky loose ordering what she needed, there was reluctance which I welcomed. She said she was no freeloader, possibly nervous after me having discussed in depth the character of the man who had raped me. We had a frank discussion over money. So, the sale of my house and visible assets had made me comfortable financially. But as I pointed out, she was a vital link missing in my life now and money was just a means of its continuation. We were together by circumstance and even if she desired to work, she couldn’t, there was nowhere to employ her although out of the blue the local shop owner solved that problem in an instant. He asked if either of us needed a job. Vicky took his arm off in an instant.

The cycle arrived within a few days, and I got used to seeing her cycle off several mornings a week. I always had a feeling of unease in the pit of my stomach when she left, always looking back to see if I was still watching her distance herself until she was out of sight. I got used to the time of her return and I’d bring a drink out onto what we described as our porch and sat at a table which had two chairs. An addition which replaced an old log which still remained for our imaginary guests. During that week, while we cycled together, I noticed a house in the far distance that had a windmill turbine. We diverted and paid the owner a visit. He said a local man specialised in installing these systems. I explained where we were located. He seemed surprised we lived there now, he always felt it was uninhabitable. I assured him it most certainly wasn’t, but its features took some getting used to. As we were leaving, I noticed a box on wheels sitting neglected in the corner of his yard. It had an extended arm and was clearly designed to fit behind a cycle. He didn’t want it, so we now had the means to carry our goods back home rather than struggle on the cycle. I recalled getting the table and chairs home, a chore made over several trips which had we had this makeshift trolley could have been achieved in one.

Bathing was simple too. Natures bath awaited us twice daily at high tide. We got used to seeing each other naked. Thankfully Vicky’s bruising was fading and as long as I could prevent it, she’d never have another unwanted mark on her beautiful body. I was also more relaxed about lying in bed together. Our intimacy had increased too. We hadn’t touched each other sexually, I mean between our legs, but we did stroke each other, while we talked in bed. Vicky had commented on my interest in her bum. I often stroked it absentmindedly while she’d run a finger round my often-erect nipple. I wasn’t sure if either of us even noticed. The swim was a race from the shack to the shoreline. We’d toss our towels down as we reached its edge and kept running. The water was cold but so invigorating, we’d both swim out and look back. We often played grasping each other and wrestling, one trying to duck the other under the water. We didn’t stay long; we’d swim back and dry each other off. The man who had brought the fish often saw us; he’d returned following the storm. He would wave as we walked back quite oblivious that we both naked and frolicking up the beach to return inside.

A van appeared mid-morning the following week. I know its driver stood back and shook his head. He gave us both that “are you sure” look. I rather doubted he’d been asked to install a wind turbine on a dilapidated shack before. Certainly not one like ours. When he realised, we were dead serious he went ahead and even ran some rather untidy wiring to key locations inside. He explained its functionality and its limitations. There was a more costly battery system he could add to ensure we had power when the wind didn’t blow, but I said we’d try this first. I couldn’t recall many instances when the wind didn’t show its power so I was sure it would suffice.

Then one morning after a storm so powerful the wind turbine shut down automatically, we walked down to the beach and in the far distance a large, strange object has been washed up on the beach. As we got closer, I realised it was a huge shipping container. We walked around it’s perimeter. There were two heavy doors which were bolted and padlocked. It had a customs seal too. I looked around, somehow expecting others to have noticed it. I realised nobody came this way. Even the man who fished didn’t stray far from his Enid spot. We looked at the object intrigued about its contents. I looked closely and examined the padlock. I knew the same crowbar which had so successfully dismantled the wooden crate would deal with that so giggling like a couple of silly girls we ran back to the shack to fetch it.

We carried the crowbar between us, we joked about it being a joint conspiracy, so we had to share the burden of carrying the means to lever off the padlock. We decided to take the broken object out to sea at our next swim and drop it into deep water. Whatever was inside was the only thing of interest and we needed to be in a position to say the padlock was missing and the customs seal was broken when we found the container. Who could prove otherwise. We decided to wear gloves. Fortunately, I’d purchased some thin rubber gloves to unblock the toilet the previous week, so we donned them and between us set about levering off the lock. This proved to be tougher than I imagined. The main problem being to get enough of the end under the padlock hasp and staple. In the end we hooked part of the splayed split end in between and with both of us hanging on to the crowbar end and combining our weight, there was a bang as the padlock broke in two and both of us landed in a heap on the sand. We lay there together for a minute, catching our breath and laughing. We’d become so natural together. It felt each couldn’t bear the thought of each other ever being parted or not in view.

‘We better get this thing open.’ I slapped Vicky’s leg.

‘Come on then!’ She rose to her feet. We moved closer and using the crowbar with total ease I snapped the seal. We both looked at each other and turned our attention towards a lever handle. I shrugged grabbed the handle and pulled it back. The lever drew locking bolts down which freed the heavy metal door. We both grabbed the handle now and pulled. Immediately we were overwhelmed by a putrid stench which caused us both to stop and move away. Vicky retched and I went forward to check she was okay. I knew the smell of death and decay; the only question was what we’d find if we opened the door enough to look inside. Vicky was reluctant to go back so I suggested she keep away while I swung the door open. I’d barely moved it before it opened itself further under its own momentum. I ran, wondering what was coming after me. Vicky screamed and started to run, I looked at her fleeing back towards the shack, I stopped and looked back. The door had stopped moving and the reason for its movement was clear to see. I stood, my mouth open with shock. Lying in a heap were perhaps a dozen bodies, I suspected behind the other door which had its own securing bolts were perhaps the same number again, but I certainly wasn’t prepared to find out. I quickly realised what had happened, then with Vicky having returned and gripping my arm so hard it hurt, I blurted out my suspicions.

‘They must be illegal migrants; the container must have been washed overboard. God knows how long it’s been floating like a cork, but clearly, they ran out of air, they have huddled near the door hoping to find the merest draught, a vain fight for survival. It seems time ran out!’

‘What are we going to do?’ Vicky asked.

‘We can’t leave it; we have to report it.’

‘Won’t that rebound on us?’ Vicky asked.

‘I doubt it. We just opened it didn’t we?’

‘You have the padlock?’ I raised my hand and showed her the lock.

‘We need to get rid of that!’ Vicky sounded nervous.

‘Fancy a swim?’

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[servin-up-surveys]

survey #085

When did you last feel fear? Uhhhhh not sure, surprisingly. Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s your favorite song from her? No. There are like less than five mega old songs that I enjoy though, the top definitely being "Love Story," idc that song is great. What was the last pain you’ve had on your body? My legs primarily from my knees down are in awful pain whenever I'm simply standing up, so them. What’s your favorite way to eat rice? Hm, probably fried. What’s something that has really impacted your life? The first person I was in love with, absolutely madly so to where I lost a great deal of self-autonomy, abruptly exiting my life.

What did you last have as a snack? Fudge; Mom is making some for Christmas but she picked a couple that me and her could eat out of. Are you currently listening to music? Yeah, I discovered that a YouTube artist did the song "Gangsta's Paradise" in the style of Ozzy Osbourne and it's honestly fucking incredible lmao. It's Anthony Vincent, to give credit. What is the last song you listened to in a car? Ummmm I feel like it was something by Motionless In White. Are there any important things happening this week? Well, this isn't really "important," but it's somewhat of a big deal to me because I'm rarely on my own; Mom and Nicole are going to Tennessee to visit my brother and his family (I very much wanted to go, but there are reasons I couldn't that I don't want to talk about), so I'm gonna be on my own for close to a week. Girt wants to come over a lot though so I'm not alone, so I appreciate that. Do you know anyone who is terrified of dogs? I don't think so. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Blair Witch Project, The Crazies, and then Silent Hill, though I think that's just a bias, the movie incarnation isn't fantastic. What’s your favorite and least favorite fast food restaurant? Favorite, probably Sonic. Least favorite, fucking Arby's, just looking at their stuff makes me want to puke. When did you last sign your signature? Uh a couple days ago at a doctor's appointment bc I got a new insurance card or something. What cover do you think is better than the original song? I think the two strongest, your-argument-is-invalid examples are Disturbed's "The Sound of Silence" cover as well as Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt." Like it feels like they fucking wrote those songs, they were MADE for 'em. What’s something that excites you about the future? Inspired by the answer of the person I copied this survey from, watching my sister's kids grow up. They're my only nieces and nephew I've been heavily involved with (NOT by my will, my half siblings just live in different states), and I just love seeing the three of them grow as individuals. I always have this fear they'll grow to dislike me/maybe drop me from their lives because of how much of the black sheep of the family I am, but I try to not think of this possibility. Are you afraid of walking alone at night? Oh I absolutely would be. Where did your last kiss take place and with whom? My bed with my boyfriend. Are you a very affectionate person? YES. I love hugs and I will tell you I love you every opportunity I get. I will petname tf outta you too if it's something that doesn't make the person uncomfortable. I am just such, SUCH a massive believer in vibrantly expressing how much you care for people. Are you mentally strong? There are some LOVELY people who make me question it, but when it boils down to it, yes I fucking am. I'm here and alive and learning by MY determination alone. Are you physically strong? It's honestly absurd how physically weak I am, like it is humiliating how much I literally cannot do because I don't have the muscle. Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now. I wish I had an income and was happy with my form of work. What do you usually eat for breakfast? Usually cereal. Did you have a good year? You know, it was far from the best, but ultimately, I think it was okay. I've had a lot of self-discovery and there's been a lot of effort put into bettering myself and trying to learn to love myself. Did your appearance change in any way this year? Besides hair color, no, not really. What album came out this year and has been on heavy rotation since then? "Zeit" by Rammstein jesus FUCKING christ Favorite new TV show? Girt and I finished the only current season of Extraordinary Attorney Woo a few days back and we are now both desperately awaiting the next one, which won't be coming for a few years apparently. :( It was approved, though. It was a FANTASTIC show. Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? ha ha ha ha ha nervous laughter there's this band Do you carry matches or a lighter? No, no reason to. Do you keep socks with a hole in them if they are your favorites? ABSOLUTELY NOT, I hate socks already, but holes in socks are fucking insufferable to me. Have you ever frightened someone on purpose? Not as a tease, but seriously. No, that sounds very mean. Something you were surprised to learn about your parent’s childhood? Oh I have no idea. Have you ever destroyed another person’s belongings out of anger? No, that's incredibly shitty. Which painkiller do you use? Usually just Ibuprofen. Something you taught yourself how to do? Use Sony Vegas acceptably well for video editing. I am SUPER far from a pro, but I can do quite a bit. Are you guilty of texting while driving? I would literally rather never touch a phone again. Never. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No, even as a child I thought it was disrespectful. Have you ever called in at a radio station & dedicated a song to someone? No. Are you a bossy person? Absolutely not, I'd feel so gross. What social media platforms do you use? Facebook, Insta, and Tumblr are I think it. What is one of your favourite sitcoms? That '70s Show. What pet names do you use for your friends/loved ones? Girt, a lot. For friends, "hun(ny)," "dear," "darling," and "love" are commonly used by me. What pet names do you like to be called? Most I can think of are fine. One that does come to mind that I know some people like but makes me want to hurl is "princess," like just don't. What was the best concert you've ever seen? Only seen Alice Cooper live, but it was excellent. Do you have any hobbies? Well yeah. I like browsing online, playing games, writing, reading, drawing, taking photos, editing photos and other stuff, watching YouTube, chatting with my loved ones, and I would very much enjoy being outside and going on walks if my legs weren't total garbage. When was the last time you stayed in a hotel/motel and where was that? I legit don't think I've stayed in a hotel since my sister and I still did dance and we went to a competition by the beach. Does your hair have natural highlights in it? Yes, even when it's not dyed. What was the last decision you had trouble making? Something I talked about in therapy a few days back that I don't want to discuss. What is one type of fruit that you'd like to try that you've never tried before? Dragonfruit immediately comes to mind. It looks so interesting. Have you been told by a doctor that you are a rare medical case? Uhhhh I don't believe so. Who was the last person who came to visit you? Girt, yesterday. What is your favorite version of the Bible to read (if applicable)?

Do you have family that you wish you could see more? Absofuckinglutely. Only my very immediate family lives anywhere near me. What was the last emoji you used? Probably the crying one, I probably overuse it lmao Do you feel the need to be popular? In general, no. I would like to be a popular photographer, but that feels different than "normal" popular to me, idk. What is a good present for you birthdays? Meerkat-oriented ANYTHING is failproof and my loved ones know that, haha. You could also donate to my tattoo fund or just pay for a small one to make my fuckin week lol. What is a rule or boundary you have for yourself, that you have followed? I made a promise to a friend and myself that I would never check up on Sara's socials again and I've kept it since I made it. I have SUCH a hard fucking time letting people go, even those who don't deserve a second of me, and it was problematic that I felt the need to just check on her, but it only ever hurt me. So I stopped. Have you ever played Battleship? Yeah, that's actually a "board" game (quotations cuz that's a weird way to describe it) I really don't mind, it's pretty fun. Girt and I used to play it a lot at the old house. Do you wear skulls on your clothes? Yeah, very regularly. Do you like to record yourself? NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO Do you like the color hot pink? Hell yeah I do. Do you like watching wrestling? Absolutely not, I'm sorry, but it's dumb and cringey as FUCK to me. Like holy shit the acting is so goddamn bad and more dramatic than I was at age 12. I know because my niece and nephew actually like to watch it so have seen my fair share. Aubree actually wants to be a professional wrestler when she grows up and while I will support her dreams to the very fucking end I am very much hoping she changes her mind, lol. Would you rather a giftcard to Starbucks or Olive Garden? OG, I fucking love that place. What kind of people do you respect? "Ones who don’t ‘demand respect’, when they really mean obedience." <<<< THIS. I also have very deep respect for people who basically calmly lead a moral crusade, vigorously advocating for positive change while remaining peaceful and amiable and just willing to prove their point without violence. I respect vegans and vegetarians a lot, like I think that takes A LOT of discipline and a very deep appreciation for all life, and I also respect popular people who don't grow a big head, instead remaining grounded and modest. There's plenty more, but I don't feel like making a massive list. What shampoo do you have in your tub? It's some strawberry-scented Suave bottle. It smells amazing. What color is your shower curtain? Or is it glass/plastic? The shower in the hall bathroom has a white curtain, while Mom's bathroom shower has a door. Do you like to draw with pen or pencil? Pencil. Pens stress me out 'cuz you can't erase. Do you like to draw on lined paper or does it bother you? I'll do it if I have no other option; it's definitely not my preference. Are you stuck in the past? I feel like I'm a prisoner to it, at least to the old me. I'm so unwilling to forgive myself for many things, and it's very much negatively affecting my life and opinion of myself. I've changed and grown so much, but... in my head, I'm stuck on this "you're fucking trash" belief. Tell me about the worst sunburn you've ever had? I got it while at the beach with Colleenn, her husband, and their son; we were sitting under an umbrella and oddly enough, I think I actually got the worse burn on my shoulder that was facing AWAY from the sun. It was so severe it actually qualified as sun poisoning. It was fucking excruciating. My other shoulder got it pretty rough, too. Do you feel embarrassed a lot? I am pretty much constantly feeling embarrassed over one thing or another. What is the most important thing in life, quick answer? For me, I think my pursuit of happiness/peace with myself. I just want to confidently feel that so bad. Is black lipstick your favorite? It sure is. Do you like combat boots? bro they fuckin HOT, I'm a boots whore Would you ever get back with one of your exes? Nope, sure wouldn't. Man, 2015-16 Brittany wouldn't have believed that for a second, well guess what hunny Do you sometimes feel dissatisfied with your love life? No, I am so happy with Girt. Are you friends with your neighbors? Not "friends," no. The man who lives to our right is lovely and has helped Mom with getting some heavy things into the house, and they usually wave at each other if Ma passes him in the car, but I wouldn't call them "friends." Mom knows our other next-door neighbor too and thinks they're fine. Are you super generous? I think so. I sure try to be. Above anything else though, I think I'm most generous with my time. If you need to talk to someone, you fuckin got me. Do you feed the strays in your neighborhood? No; we don't really have strays anyway. Do you think old houses are creepy? I mean they can be, but I think they're cool and fascinating more than anything else! Have you won any trophies/ribbons? Which are you most proud of, if any? Lots for academic excellence, as well as for dance and sports. I'm most proud of my plaque that I can literally see from here that was for me graduating HS in the top percentile of the entire graduating class. It hurts to see sometimes though, like I wonder what the fuck happened to my level of intelligence after high school... Do you type home row or with two fingers? Home row. Have you ever cheated on your bf/gf/wife/husband? No, and I never would. It's just so, so very disrespectful of your partner's trust. Don't hurt people you supposedly love like that, man. What kind of outdoor activities do you like? Taking pictures of nature, exploring, swimming, sitting in the shade if it's cool enough and just chillin. In a movie would you be the villain, hero, or main person? You mean like, what role I would pick to play? Villain almost for sure, I genuinely think I could play a convincing villain. If you could get anything in your trick or treat bag, what would it be? Reese's anything, haha. Even as a kid, that was my favorite to get. Do you like to drive a car? No; I haven't driven in like, maybe two or even three years. I have a debilitating fear of being behind the wheel. I could never, and I mean NEVER, live with my fucking self if I ever caused a wreck and killed somebody. It is just the way smarter option for me to not drive, at least for right now. I feel super bad about not driving and therefore not being able to go anywhere on my own (public transport isn't really a big thing around here), but it's the better, safer option. What is your desktop background? A really cute and vibrant picture of a meerkat.