#OK GOODNIGHT theyre taking my blood tomorrow

[finniestoncrane]

dinny worry about it by the way!! if i die my queue is scheduled until July 19th so there’s a wee while of shite to look forward to!!

[klaus-is-the-real-number-1]

The day we caught the train (Slytherin!Five x Hufflepuff!Reader)

 missvifdor said:  It would be for Five Slytherins with a Hufflepuff reader 🤗 they are very opposite in personality but they complement each other. I love Harry Potter and the umbrella academy, so i'm glad you write about both 😄 thank you,

A/N: this was like kinda vauge so i made up like a story line i guess?? Its kinda a mess and really long?? hope this is ok!! I really like these because i used to be obsessed with HP, in this i imagine Five would be from the really posh part of london where, the reader being opposites to him would be from a northern town and theyre both in sixth year which is age 16-17, i had to do so much research for this lol

Words: 2711

Footsteps echoed through the long empty halls as curfew rolled around, the sounds of students rushing to get back to their dormitories after a long night of studying and hushed whispering of passwords was not an unfamiliar sound at this time of night. Pictures were left empty as their residents wandered away out of frame and the castle slowly went to sleep, except for the prefects. As the sun went down, the prefects got up to do nightly patrols to make sure no students were up past curfew, each house prefect patrolled their own areas around their relative commonrooms to catch any wrong doers, not that they were many.

Tonight was your turn, patrolling the basement level and the kitchen corridor around the Hufflepuff dorm room, waiting for anything exciting to happen yet you knew it never would. Hufflepuffs always had a strong moral code and a clear right from wrong, every single patrol you carried out during Fifth year when you were appointed prefect you never caught a single person, now part way into sixth year still not once incident had occurred.

Yet, for some reason, every patrol you had ended up with a certain Slytherin prefect following you around, Five. Five was unusual to say the least, he was a well respected and slightly feared student, cunning and determined, he had a close knit clique of fellow pure blood slytherins, yet for some reason out of everyone in the whole of the castle, he had a soft spot for you. Even though he’d never show it in front of others, during the light of the day he’d sneak in side glances and small smiles, especially in the first few years making sure no comments came your way about your muggle parents or your upbringing.

Exactly on queue, a familiar sound of footsteps echoed down the staircase leading to you corridor only to stop short at the last step. A small ‘lumos’ echoed throughout the quiet hallway before Fives head pops into view, checking it was actually you there before a large smile breaking on his face as he walked into view. “Hey.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be on patrol?” You smile to him as he got closer, crossing your arms over your chest.

“They know it’s me on, no one would dare try anything.” He smirks knowing he was right, striking fear into everybody, except you. His eyes soften and his tone became gentle when he was speaking with you. He’d always been like that, from your first journey on the Hogwarts express, talking the entire train journey up, secret library meeting when you both realised things weren’t as simple as just being friends. Things got difficult when blood ‘purity’ came into play, when suddenly you couldn’t be friends, which hurt.

The dimly lit hallways excentrated his features, his sharp jaw and high cheekbones cast shadows on his face and neck, yet his dimples still shone through when he smiles and breaks up the harsh exterior that he puts on. Stepping closer, you lifted your hand to run it through his hair, watching his face break out into a smile and wrap his hand around your waist. Small displays of affection weren’t uncommon between the two of you, only increasing through the years of being at Hogwarts. “I’m so glad you stopped gelling your hair back.”

“Don’t remind me.” He rolled his eyes, remembering his poor style choices of his past. You move your hand and run it down the side of his face and across his jaw, taking a second to admire him before dropping your hand.

“I’ve gotta go, my shifts nearly over.” A sad looking smile broke over his face as he slowly lowered his hand from your waist. “I’ll see you tomorrow though.” You say as you lock eyes with him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He repeated back to you. He smiled and started walking towards the stairs, just before his foot touched the first step he turned back to you. “Goodnight, y/n.”

Dueling was always one of the most exciting parts of Hogwarts, it was a welcome break from the immense workload that sixth years had to deal with. In sixth year you were expected to be able to cast non-verbal spells, a mentally challenging task where some were better than others. Over the past month your defence class had been working tirelessly on being able to cast successful non-verbal spells with the promise of having a period where you would be duelling, which was exciting for everyone involved, a chance to show your abilities and represent your house.

“I’m going to be pairing you up today,” Your teacher spoke to you all as he was stood on the dueling table, met with a grumble from the students. “With student of the same ability.” He continued, seemingly unaffected by the disappointed sounds of the sixth years. “When I call you out, both of you will come to the stage.”

Cheers and boo’s echoes throughout the room as students from different houses duled, light flying from wands as students desperately tried to conjure spells without speaking, some pulling through well where others barely being able to produce anything at all. Tension rose throughout the room as more people slowly got paired off, everyone wondering who would be the next pair.

“Y/n and Five.”

Smiling, you walk up to the stage and face Five, seeing a small smile emerge from his stern expression. Wands at the ready, you wait for the call to start from the teacher, already knowing your strategy. The air turned heavy and the room turned quite as everyone was ready to watch the duel, you were both the highest achieving students in the class and people were eager to see who would be the best.

Then it started, Five casting the first spell only to have you deflect it, causing a gasp to echo through the room. You knew it would be a risky move to cast a spell that hadn’t been taught, a spell that wasn’t even in the curriculum. It was the only way you had ever found deflecting a spell without having the spell hit your opponent, Five was stunned for a second before hitting back with another spell, only for you to deflect it again and again and again. Waiting for a hesitation from Five to strike and then you got it, a gap in his relentless spell casting when he took a second too long to think about his next spell. 

Before he could blink, he was thrown to the floor with his wand flying out of his hand as you hit him with expelliarmus. Cheers erupted from students interspersed with nasty comments from the Slytherin students, you walk over to Five who was winded from his fall on the floor. Offering your hand he goes to take it before hesitating, under the watchful eyes of his Slytherin clique he lowered his hand and picked himself up, brushing down his robes. 

“Right!” Your teacher stood up on the stage with you and Five. “Class is dismissed, remember to keep practicing these non-verbal spells.” Your eyes never left Five as your teacher spoke, you felt a stinging sensation wash over your eyes accompanied by a throbbing in your chest at his actions. You shook your head and turned away, unable to keep looking at him without bursting into tears. 

“I need you to stay behind.” He turned to you, giving you a stern look only to soften when he saw you in near tears. Slowly, everyone left the room, either going to the library or commonrooms to await their next lesson due to the early finish. Closing your eyes, you gently tapping the lids with your fingertips to try and ease the stinging feeling, you take a deep breath before re-opening your eyes.

“Am I in trouble?” You say as you sit on the side of the duelling stage, legs swinging as you play with your hands.

“Not exactly,” He sighs, sitting in a chair facing you. “Where did you learn that?”

So you start to explain, lying as you went, as you explained you started to immediately regret even casting the spell in the first place. In fourth year you were spending a late night in the library, trying to find any books to help you excel in your classes, you had piles of books in front of you and then one book you opened had sheets of parchment paper interspersed with the other pages filled with spells that weren’t on the curriculum. It was filled with defence spells, jinxes, curses and more, it had been your guide ever since you found it. This, however, was not what you explained to him, simply saying you were doing some reading and found it and were unable to find the book again.

You could tell he didn’t believe you, but sensed that he wouldn’t delve too far into your story. “You can’t pull anything like that again,” He looked at you for a response so you just nodded. “I won’t go any further with this, you can go.”

The rest of the day went slowly, doing everything in your might to avoid Five, you had been patient with him all these years and him not even wanting to let you pull him up because of his little gang looking at him hurt, it stung. You know he’s loyal to his house but after 6 years of always hiding and sneaking around you just couldn’t bare it anymore, couldn’t bare the fact that Five had let this wizarding class war consume him.

Post day was always fun, hundreds of owls flying into the great hall and dropping off post from friends and family at home, some received letters while others got large packages sent in. Bruce was your barn owl, he was large, brown and robust, he would usually reside on your parents farm, being well loved and looked after by your whole family whilst you were away but always knew when you needed him in the castle.

In he came, swooping down with a letter tied to him and landing elegantly in front of you. Petting him with one hand while the other unties the letter, excited chatter filled the room as most other people were doing the exact same thing, wondering what their loved ones had sent them. Carefully opening the letter, trying not to tear the envelope, your eyes scan over the hand-written letter, smiling at all the information that was written in great detail.

At the very bottom they’d attached a photograph of them all together smiling, along with your dog and a few other animals they all looked after. As you were smiling and showing your friends you felt it get pulled out of your hand; turning around, you were met with one of Fives Slytherin friends waving your photo around, calling on his friends.

“Ere’ give it back.” Getting up, you try and swipe it from his hands only for him to hold it higher, scrunching it as he did.

“What are you going to do about it, mudblood-” Before he could finish his sentence the photo was snatched out of his hand by Five, lightly tapping it with his wand and the photo returned to pristine condition before handing it back to you with a small smile.

“Behave.” Five said to him, pulling him away from your table and back to theirs. A smile snuck onto your face as you sat back down, Five had never done anything like that outside the darkness of the library or the nightly patrols, let alone in front of his friends. 

Then, very slowly, he started to actively integrate himself into your life, talking to you in class, helping each other with homework after classes and even sitting with you at lunch on a regular basis. Building up your trust for him again, building up your friendship publically even with all the snide comments other people gave him, he ignored them all for you.

As winter rolled round, snow dusted the castle and surrounding areas as if it was a cake getting doused in icing sugar about to be presented for a meal. Cold nipped at your noses as you made the trek into Hogsmeade, students rushing to buy last minute presents for loved ones before christmas break as well as a stream of students flocking to the Three Broomsticks to get their last sips of butterbeer before the train journey home.

The Three Broomsticks was so full that students were being turned away, it was bursting at the brim with some students even even sharing chairs. The atmosphere was buzzing with excited students, conversations so loud that you couldn’t even hear yourself think. Five and yourself had been lucky, opting to come to the pub first thing then doing your christmas shopping, finding a small booth hid in the corner.

“So are you excited to go home?” He was wrapped up in a hoodie and jacket, a discarded hat and scarf lying on the table, leaving him with flushed cheeks and tousled hair. 

“I ain’t going home,” You say, taking a sip of butterbeer. “I never have, I’d have to get the muggle train back north, costs around 100 quid each way.” You tap your fingers against the half empty glass. “Canny afford it.” 

“You’ve never gone home for christmas?” Sadness was present in his eyes as he locked them with yours but you just shrugged.

“It’s not that bad, it’s like, my sixth year staying so everyone is just used to me now, I get to phone home and they basically give me access to the kitchen and all the teachers who stay put on interest lessons and such.” A breeze caused you to shiver, wrapping you jacket tighter around you. “I also help with the animals.”

Upon seeing you shiver Five leant over the table to wrap his scarf around your neck before gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear; the small display of public affection causing you to blush. Once you’d finished your drinks you head into town, looking down the alleys for all the little shops you could find, looking for the perfect gifts for your family, asking a slightly unenthusiastic Five for a second opinion and just receiving a series of raised eyebrows or nods of his head. 

Taking your time to walk back to the campus, Fives hand had found its way into yours, swinging your entwined fingers as you went. As the large castle came into view a bittersweet feeling washed over you, knowing that Five and everyone else would be leaving for the holidays tomorrow while you stayed at the castle. Even if the empty hallways felt like home there was always a pang in your chest on christmas morning, even if it did ease off during the day whilst sat round with friends and teachers, it still made your chest throb.

Joy was evident in the great hall, everyone talking loudly and laughing with their friends knowing they won’t be seen for the next two weeks, an exchange of gifts and cards being passed around. Slowly, everyone faded out to the dining hall, getting ready to get on the Hogwarts express home, you passed around hugs and goodbyes as your friends left the common room, all of them leaving cards and parcels by your bed and made you swear not to open them until christmas day. 

All morning you were looking around for Five but were never able to see him and as everyone left for the station you were convinced he had gone. Defeated, you walk through the empty hallways to the great hall for the regular meeting where the staff discuss the rules with the rest of you who had stayed behind. You heard a voice call your name behind you, quickly turning around, you see him. “Five?”

“They needed a male prefect to stay on campus,” He says as he gets closer, grin covering his face. “So I volunteered.” Instead of answering you just throw yourself at him, embracing him in your arms. His arms instantly wrap around your figure, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“Thank you, Five.”

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 64

[Date: 08/03, 6.01 AM - 08/03, 6.32 AM GMT]

[Direct continuation from pt 63]

[CW: Manipulation, stalking]

C R O W N: “are you all happier without me?”

Maxwell: “yes”

C R O W N: “...”

fetch: “we might be, yeah.”

C R O W N: “...”

Marcus: “...guys”

fetch: “just get out of here, dammit”

C R O W N: “i see”

Maxwell: “leave”

Marcus: “Baron and prince and lizzy are still with him”

jayyyyyyyy: “yeah, but theyre not in the court”

Marcus: “They are jay”

jayyyyyyyy: “crowns lost so much power. rescuing the others will be childsplay”

Marcus: “They’re still there”

Little-K1ng: “this is a weird vibe, just 3 dudes in my living room. i hope you guys know i have like, a bed and then a couch and also a floor”

Maxwell: “i call the floor”

Marcus: “That just makes him stronger”

Marcus: “Less people to control”

Little-K1ng: “floor is now called for, fetch can have the bed, and marcus gets couch i guess!”

Maxwell: “i can sleep anywhere man i used to sleep on the floor for fun as a kid!”

Little-K1ng: “zero porch sleepers, PLEASE,”

C R O W N: “I'm sorry. I just wanted to give Ranboo a happy family.”

Maxwell: “no you didnt bitch”

fetch: “just get OUT”

Maxwell: “that aint how a family works”

fetch: “get these squirrels out of my fuckin yard”

C R O W N: “...fine”

Marcus: “Do you remember what I said when this family asked about my thoughts on Dream?”

C R O W N: “yes”

Maxwell: “....i forgot how much of a dogboy you were fetch, heh...nice to see ya again man”

Little-K1ng: “[calling out of my front door to the street] ay fuck off pal not tonight”

fetch: “Pff, you too ya little rat”

Marcus: “I would like to change my answer.”

Marcus: “You are no better than Dream. You are no different than the man who you described as a horrible person. You are no savior.”

C R O W N: “...”

Marcus: “You are a coward.”

Maxwell: “ey i may be little but i can bite your kneecaps”

C R O W N: “...

:(”

Little-K1ng: “okay so i cant believe how not surprised i am but.... at the moment maxwell... theres orange juice in the fridge and cookies in the pantry (they're oatmeal raisin for your Health), if "someone" (you) starts bleeding again just sit and chill”

Little-K1ng: “but definitely get at those snacks”

Maxwell: “thanks man, sorry for barging in”

Marcus: “...what the hell are we wearing?”

Little-K1ng: “nah its all good ill be in a better mood once these bad boys! [holds out 2 excedrin] actually kick in”

Marcus: “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR”

Maxwell: “THATS WHAT I WANNA KNOW”

fetch: “I dunno man but hey max, you look good in a skirt”

Little-K1ng: “i mean you do suit the skirt”

Maxwell: “IM IN A SKIRT AND WHILE I DONT MIND SKIRTS ITS BEEN A WHILE MAN”

Maxwell: “.........hUh”

Marcus: “How the hell did I run in demonias what the fuck”

Maxwell: “i mean ive got combat boots so thats good but seriously man how the fuck did you run in those”

Marcus: “My hair isn’t supposed to be short”

fetch: “Okay you rock the demonias but are your ankles okay”

Little-K1ng: “yall are so fashionable i am almost not going to offer better clothes”

fetch: “...

Ow

ow ow ow

gys

watchdogs”

Little-K1ng: “wh?”

fetch: “gdox”

Maxwell: “i know ive got a button up on but not having a cloak or sweater of somesort feels horrid”

Marcus: “Fetch?”

fetch: “ow

gdoc”

[Crown edited onto the google doc: "I'm sorry i'll be good just please come back i don't want to lose anyone else it hurts i already lost tommy and now you all left me please come back please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please"]

Maxwell: “AW SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN”

Marcus: “Fuck”

fetch: “hes tampering”

dreaming: “fetch you okay?”

Little-K1ng: “woah dude hey hey sit its okay just sit”

Little-K1ng: “the doc...”

Maxwell: “uh oh”

fetch: “ow ow wh at the fu c k”

Maxwell: “the fuck happened to tommy what is he on about”

Little-K1ng: “WOAH okay so fetch just hit the floor”

Maxwell: “shit fetch you okay”

Marcus: “Fuck, do you have tissues? His nose is bleeding”

Little-K1ng: “AH AH HEY UH HELP ME uh hes bleeding flip him over”

Little-K1ng: “hes bleeding a lot dont let him drown”

Maxwell: “oh god okay”

Little-K1ng: “cmon recovery position dont you know that?? ok”

Marcus: “Yeah of course”

Maxwell: “dont lay him down yeah he'll choke on  the blood if we do”

Little-K1ng: “okay hes good just. drooling blood onto the floor okay, thats, ew, but not the first time”

Little-K1ng: “oh yeah the doc huh? okay that alteration must have really hurt”

A random Spark: “It was a big one, a whole page”

Little-K1ng: “oh ouch”

Maxwell: “so should we try to leave it for now for fetch to fix when he wakes up to not hurt him more?”

Little-K1ng: “okay, note to self, buy more excedrin

this weeks trauma is sponsored by excedrin”

Maxwell: “what the shit happened to tommy?”

jayyyyyyyy: “tommy died??”

Maxwell: “HE WHAT”

jayyyyyyyy: “I DONT KNOW??”

Maxwell: “I WAS GONE FOR LIKE A DAY”

Little-K1ng: “yeah uh, he kinda, look ok yall can explain that and ill just. try to clean this up”

Mothbo: “Max, it's been much longer than a day.”

Maxwell: “what”

Little-K1ng: “a... a day ??”

Marcus: “...max”

Maxwell: “how...long has it been”

boo: “a month or so”

Maxwell: “god my head hurts this is too much to process”

Little-K1ng: “hahaa,, yeah no you've never met me, its been an awful lot longer than that, look, we've had a long night, the sprinklers are staying on overnight, just sit and we can get some sleep, yeah? ill stay with fetch and make sure he doesnt choke”

Little-K1ng: “ill get you the snacks and you can recover from the blood loss, sound good?”

Marcus: “I can um”

Maxwell: “thanks so much man...”

Marcus: “I can stay up and help these two, I basically took care of them back at the-

You know”

Maxwell: “okay...tomorrow....yall havge a  lto og explaining to fo”

Marcus: “You don’t look well, Mona you should rest”

Maxwell: “im going to slepw nihgt fucekrs ha....its good to be back”

Little-K1ng: “i appreciate the concern, good night marcus. nice to meet you :)”

Marcus: “It’s uh, nice to meet you too

Goodnight”

Mothbo: “rest well, Max. Please stay safe okay? We missed ya”

Maxwell: “course....”

[jayyyyyyyy: “have a nice first night free marcus! :]”]

Marcus: “...thank you”

Chat: “...”

katichu (derogatory): “Chat?”

jayyyyyyyy: “hi, chat. you maybe wanna take off your crown, mate?”

Chat: “You know what? I really don't care anymore. I should've known who you all really were when you first showed your true colors by being so hateful to crown and the family. You're all nothing to me :) And guess what? I'm completely fine with that!!”

A random Spark: “We made our choice”

Chat: “Yep! And I've made mine, and I'm completely fine with knowing that I've done nothing but right by Crown, and that none of this is my fault and I'm not to blame for anything and I haven't done anything wrong and it's perfectly fine and I'm okay!!”

Chat: “I know you never cared about me anyway. You don't need to keep saying it. I have my family and I'm h a p p y n o w”

[jayyyyyyyy: “We do care about you. We're also all tired as fuck.”]

Chat: “Right.”

Chat: “I'll be leaving now. Thank you for nothing.”

[baekhyunsahoe]

BBKY92 has posted!

By some small miracle, chanyeol makes it back to his apartment, jongin in tow. He thought they had taken uber pool but apparently not so they were having an impromptu drunken sleepover.

Chanyeol’s place is mini sized. It’s got zero bedrooms, one bath, and a small kitchen. they nearly trip over and die over the shoes at the door but somehow manage to land on the bed [if you can even call it that]. It’s nothing more than a futon on the floor with a bunch of pillows and some stuffed animals.

Jongin’s sprawled on his back, chanyeol side eyes his sockless state of foot that had probably been sockless since the start. That guy never liked socks. Chanyeol never liked sweaty feet from not wearing socks. It could not go on like this. He’s about to voice his views on this matter when jongin drops his phone on his own face.

Chanyeol bursts out laughing, jongin’s groaning background noise.

“are you okay?” chanyeol asks to be ‘polite.’ Jongin scowls and the phone slips out of his hand again. “you are not okay.” Chanyeol confirms.

“my screen is so bright dude.” Jongin complains. “its blinding”

“you can change it on your settings.”

“I did – oh shit!”

“what?!”

“kyungsoo called me.”

Chanyeol’s eyes widen. A mad kyungsoo was basically the end of your days. Or jongin’s days at least.

“why didn’t you answer it?” chanyeol asks in horror.

“I didn’t hear it!” jongin yells.

Chanyeol shakes his head and reaches for his phone. “oooooooo. he called me too.”

“seriously?!”

“deadass.”

“oh my god… I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up here any second now…” jongin blinks up at the ceiling seemingly having accepted his fate.

“fuck that.” Chanyeol scoffs laying on his side and snuggling the nearest pillow. “tell him youre staying over. Im sure he can survive one night without you.”

“okay.”

“okay.”

“okay.”

“okay.”

“stop saying okay.”

“okay.”

“I changed my mind, have him come here and get you the fuck out of my bed.”

“im sorry.”

Chanyeol throws a stuffed toy at him, reminds himself to say sorry to rainbow [his alpaca] later for using him as a weapon, and reaches for his laptop.

“I’ma throw up.”

“go to the bathroom.”

“okay.”

Chanyeol barely gives jongin the time of day as the younger male wobbles to the toilet. That’s what he gets. He had spent a whopping $80 earlier and it did not even include tip yet.

The alcohol is still rampant in his veins, chanyeols cheeks are flushed despite the cool temperate of his room. His eyes feels heavy, sleep threatening to overcome him soon. But he had some business he had to take care of. It was only 6pm [ they had been at the beer and chicken place for 4 hours before migrating to the nearest bar and ordering more rounds ] [ thankfully lit!jongin had been in a friendly mood and paid for it that time ]

Chanyeol quickly logs onto his tumblr and in five seconds flat uploads his video, checks bkhyn92s page, sees no updates, and slams his laptop shut. He lays down and is idly wondering if he had a password lock on there when he feels jongin collapse next to him, out like a light.

-- it isn’t morning yet when chanyeol wakes up next.

Its his turn to yack it.

Feeling like he was going to give birth through his mouth to a mutant chicken beer and soju blob chanyeol barely makes it to the bowl of his toilet.

“help me im dying.” He says to his shower curtain. it is of no help as the 2nd round causes chanyeol’s eyes to water.

After making a blood oath with himself in his mind to never drink again, chanyeol’s got the taste of tooth paste in his mouth instead of well. We don’t need to describe it.

The time on the microwave glimmers at him in the darkness.

10;30pm

Chanyeol settles on his bed, trying to ignore jongin cuddling rainbow the alpaca and is about to drift back off into much needed sleep when his phone vibrates loudly.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT.

BZZZZZZZT.

Ignore it, chanyeol thinks.

BZZZZZZZT BZZT BZZT BZZZZZZZZZZZZT

Don’t ignore it, chanyeol reconsiders.

With a dramatic FUCK MY LIFE muttered under his breath, chanyeol answers without looking.

“WHAT.”

“hello chanyeol.”

He blanches. That voice.

“s-soo?”

Do kyungsoo, the guardian of the seven rings of hell. No jk. But he totally can be if he ever applied for that job.

“nice of you to answer. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t.”

“of course. Um.”

“jongin there?”

“yeah. He’s knocked out.” Chanyeol says apologetically hating how he was going to get the blame for jongin’s idea to get shitfaced in mid afternoon.

“is he ok?” kyungsoo asks, instead of the SEND ME YOUR LOCATION for proof chanyeol was expecting. Kyungsoo was a bit overprotective in the cutest and deadliest way possible.

“he should be.”  chanyeol kicks jongin in the leg to see if he is alive. Jongin groans. “yeah hes fine. Did you want to come swoop him?”

“no way. He might yack in my car.”

Such a caring bf. That’s bae. Jongin was a lucky guy.

“well don’t worry, hes safe here with me. Unless he tries to draw a penis on my face. Then I cant make any promises.”

“my relationship turnover was coming up anyway.” Kyungsoo jokes darkly. Chanyeol snickers despite a small voice in his mind squeaking pls don’t hurt me through out this whole conversation. “by the way, I heard you were going on a date with Baekhyun tomorrow.”

Jesus did jongin alert the media? Was there a new snapchat filter for this too? which countries still didn’t know? Has that billboard for rent been bought out to make a glowing neon sign yet? Did he make a medical breakthrough to relay messages to fetuses in the wombs as well? You know, since he felt the need to open his big mouth and tell everyone.

“uh. Yeah. I guess.”

“I’m pretty excited to see how this turns out.”

“do you know Baekhyun?” chanyeol asks curiously. One part of him felt kinda weird talking to kyungsoo on the phone while his boyfriend was spooning an alpaca.

“we went to the same music school together.”

“oh.” Chanyeol, the greatest conversationalist ever. Replies.

“he’s a nice guy once you get to know him. Don’t be offended by his ratchet self. He may seem like a thot, but that’s just an image he tries to maintain.” Kyungsoo says helpfully.

Chanyeol meanwhile is trying to do some math in his head. Did he hear correctly? Was he still drunk? Why on earth would anyone want to up hold their thottie honor? This is why chanyeol was single.

“don’t tell him I told you this, but hes still pretty down in the dumps about his break up. He was actually serious about that guy. It just didn’t work out you know?”

“uhhuh.” Chanyeol wanted to know more but at the same time he didn’t want to pry. He was raised to be respectful of other peoples business. Baekhyuns secrets, personal and his, didn’t need to be told to him by someone else.

“I could tell you more if you want.”

“sure.”

That previous paragraph never happened.

“he’s probably going to try to smash.”

“what.”

“yeah. Havent you heard the best way to get over a guy is to get under another one?”

No. of course not. the last time he checked he hadn’t subscribed to the Thotsmopolitan.

“are you sure about this?” chanyeol asks swallowing hard, the feeling of nervousness deep-throating him.

“yup.” A yawn. “I might have said too much.”

“wait. So should i… you know.”

“if you like him, you shouldn’t.”

Ah yes. that made total sense. Don’t get into the pants of someone youre feeling.

“because that will automatically make you look like a fuckboy. it’s a test of sorts. That’s why im telling you. I think youd be a good match for him.”

“why is that?”

“youd just balance each other out.”

Chanyeols starting to wonder just how much kyungsoo knew about him. Whenever he third wheeled it was all good times; karaoke bowling pet cafes… nothing ever deep. Perhaps jongin be talking shit?

“anyway. Good luck tomorrow and have fun! Tell jongin he better be home before I wake up with breakfast ready or else.”

“yes sir!”

“goodnight chanyeol.”

sweet

   “So you’re chanyeol?”

“yes. last time I checked.”

Baekhyun looks amused despite the judgemental tone of his voice.

Chanyeol just looks uncomfortable.

The date came sooner than he would like [he had a mere less than 24 hours to prepare himself and half those hours were him hungover on soju]. Now he found himself sitting  in the same chicken and beer spot [seriously was there no other place to go to around these parts?] with jongin’s music teacher for company.

“and when was that?”  Baekhyun asks innocently sipping at his water. Chanyeol takes note of his hands. Theyre very pretty. Like the rest of the guy. Except when he opens his mouth. He seems to be snarky but playful which isn’t bad, but chanyeol is socially awkward at times like these.

He swallows a weird lump in his throat. “um.” He didn’t quite know how to answer that.

“kidding!” Baekhyun laughs. “I don’t need to know last time you checked.”

Then why did you ask, chanyeol thinks crazily. He sips his water too with a pained smile. Baekhyun was seriously intimidating and he didn’t know why. Maybe its because they were both sober and what kyungsoo had said echoes back and forth in chanyeol’s mind like a 1980s horror cartoon. ‘he’s gonna wanna smaaaaaaaaaAssshhhhhhhhh’ kyungsoo replayss in a creepy singsong voice.

“want to get something to drink?” chanyeol blurts.

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. “do you want to get me drunk…?”

“no! no. I just.” Chanyeol rambles, horrified at the insinuation. He wasn’t a fuckboy!

“chill. I wanna get me drunk.” Baekhyun winks. “a pitcher and a bottle of chamisul sound good to you?”

“sounds good, yeah, great actually.” Chanyeol agrees nodding his head repeatedly. Baekhyun laughs again.

“someones eager.” Baekhyun comments. “or a raging alcoholic.”

Chanyeol pouts but he realizes Baekhyun is just teasing.

The alcohol arrives soon enough and after the first two soju bombs chanyeol is feeling less stressed and more relaxed. Baekhyun looks the same, a sign he must have high alcohol tolerance. Whos the raging alcoholic now?

“tell me about yourself.” Baekhyun drawls, gaze focused solely on chanyeol. His pretty eyes are outlined with black liner, and despite appearing as sober as fifteen minutes ago has a slight pink glow dusting across his cheek bones. “why are you single.”

Chanyeol blinks, has to seriously come up with an answer to that question. He ends up laughing awkwardly, scratching his head. “oh I guess I just don’t really have much time to date and plus its hard to meet people nowadays, I think… “

“How long have you been single?”

“Um… a few months,” A FEW YEARS, his mind and penis scream at him in devastation.

“Ooh. No hook ups or anything?” Baekhyun asks casually pouring a shot for the both of them.

Chanyeol isn’t sure if he should confess to not having boned in A FEW YEARS or to try and seem cool by saying he got hoes in different area codes. But he didn’t wanna be a fuckboy. gods, was this a test? There was no winning!

“No…” he ends up answering honestly. He takes his shot without Baekhyun and downs his beer.

Baekhyun looks truly surprised. “wow. So you’re saying you haven’t gotten laid in months?” he whistles, and takes his drink.

“its not really a big deal to me,” chanyeol explains hastily, defending his unwanted chastity belt.

“uhhuh.” Baekhyun nods, pouring yet another set of beer and soju. “hooking up isn’t a big deal to you.”

“no!” chanyeol exclaims. “no, I meant. Like. Nevermind.”

Baekhyun smiles coyly at him through his eyelashes. “cheers to that.”

“cheers to what?”

“hooking up.”

They down their respective alcohol even though chanyeol isn’t sure what the hell that meant but strangely finds himself not too worried. Baekhyuns presence is becoming comfortable, and with every shot, chanyeol feels like he can be more and more himself. Baekhyun laughs a lot at his reactions and stories, and chanyeol is captivated everytime Baekhyun opens his mouth, looks at him, pours drink, takes a shot, anything really. Baekhyun is truly gorgeous, and attractive af. There was just something about him and chanyeol is suddenly thinking about baekhyuns previous question except about Baekhyun – why was he single?