#OKAY THIS WASNT SUPPOSE TO END UP WITH 4K WORDS

[blueberrysunflowers]

downsides of being besties with a soft boi tiktoker (tsukiyama hc)✨

[ inspired by this tiktok. all links in this are animated tiktoks except for the inspo video ☺️][beta’ed version on ao3 💖]

yamaguchi has always been more expressive online. he isn’t as quiet as kenma or as socially awkward as kageyama in real life. he’s still shy, it took him months to speak up more with his friends. but when he did, they were greeted by the boy’s puppy-like energy. there was something about talking through the internet that helped him grow out of his shell a little more.

it was only natural that yamaguchi ended up making tiktoks.

at first, he only downloaded the app because his online friends kept sending him links to videos and opening it up on chrome became a chore. then, his friends started to do group transition videos even though they all lived in different countries and asked him to send in his part. it slowly escalated to yamaguchi participating in trends and dances on his own account.

yamaguchi tadashi the volleyball player was a bit of a wallflower. don’t get him wrong, he loved the game and he loved his team. except, didn’t feel like he stood out yet so he felt more comfortable watching from the sidelines. slowly, with every practice, his skills and confidence grew bit by bit. his itch to be on the court more often grows every time he hits a good serve.

yamaguchi tadashi the tiktok creator was a different story. in the comfort of his own room, yamaguchi liked to let loose a little. his mum was used to walking in on him dancing with his headphones on, singing along to youtube videos or excitedly talking to his online friends for hours, laughing loud enough to be heard from outside his door. his tiktoks ended up radiating the same type of carefree energy that he usually had once he got home from school.

the freckled boy wasn’t a completely different person. no, infact he was just as anxious as he was when he was in school. his small following noticed the boy’s tendency to ramble or backtrack whenever he got nervous in a video and it just built his soft boy image more. however, they also noticed his snark (which was inevitable when you were tsukishima kei’s best friend) which made some of his videos just a little more interesting (specifically his occasional story times)

soon enough, his videos started getting better and better as he got the hang of it. he bought a tripod instead of stacking his books, decorated his room by adding a few plants and lights (including one ring light), started playing around in editing and even did some collabs with other smaller tiktokers.

his first viral video was of him doing a little dance that he saw while scrolling through tiktok on his way home. once he entered his room, he didn’t even change out of his volleyball attire and started recording himself trying out the dance. after a few (multiple) tries, he uploaded the first one he recorded and set his phone down to go and take a shower. it was exam season so he avoided going on tiktok too much, temporarily muting his social media notifications til exams were over

yamaguchi didn’t think much of it, he was too busy balancing exams, volleyball and the anxiety that came with both of them. it wasn’t til two days later than tsukishima brought it up.

“you know that dance video you posted? the most recent one?”

“yeah?”

“nii-san sent it to me.”

“oh? that’s weird but i get it. did he find me or follow me or something?”

“you were on his ‘for you page’. did you know you got over twenty thousand views on that?”

“WHAT?!”

yamaguchi nearly dropped his meat bun while grabbing his phone out of his bag. tsukishima looked at his best friend with amusement as he opened up the app and noticed the bustling inbox. yamaguchi turned red as he remembered how he had some pretty cringe-worthy content from a long time ago and screamed, scrolling down as far as he could to delete those.

tsukishima laughed at him, calling him a strawberry but putting a hand on the smaller boy’s shoulder to calm him down. both boys were surprised that yamaguchi went from a few hundred followers to a few thousand followers in only two days, but tsukishima wasn’t too surprised. he always knew yamaguchi thrived on the internet. he should know, he’s always making sure his best friend never got cyberbullied or ended up on the wrong side of the internet.

later that day, tsukishima and him popped on a call together to go through yamaguchi’s account and make sure he didn’t have any personal information lying around in his captions, comments or videos. tsukishima argued that he should take down the videos of him in his volleyball uniform so that people won’t be able to know which school he went to, but yamaguchi claimed that even if he did, it probably won’t be too hard to find him since all of them on the team are on google (they checked). he eventually gave in to tsukishima’s request, knowing his best friend was just worried. plus, he didn’t want his classmates finding his account anyway.

after that video, both boys figured it was a one-hit wonder type of video since his views went down and plateaued for a while. it didn’t bother either of them, yamaguchi did get a little (extremely) overwhelmed by the flood of new followers in those few days so when it started to slow down he calmed down again and was able to post the videos he enjoyed making without overthinking again.

then he had another video blow up. then another. and even one from something he posted months ago. tsukishima got more protective and frown-y and yamaguchi’s online friends started teasing on him whenever he’d join the call, calling him “yamaguchi’s guardian angel”. in all honesty, yamaguchi did appreciate his best friend for his protectiveness. tsukishima had access to his account so he would go in to delete any hateful comments (not that there were many) before yamaguchi got to see them.

he can’t prove it, but he’s almost 100% sure that tsukishima also deleted some simp-styled comments.

(he tested it by posting a video of him dancing in a skirt and watched as how comments beyond the simple “that’s so cute” or “you’re adorable” seemed to disappear. smirking, yamaguchi called him out on it on the way to school and enjoyed the way it made tsukishima blush. the taller boy turned it back to him by asking him about the skirt.)

in a few months, his followers hit 90k. his online friends were a little baffled how their sweet little yamaguchi became a content creator while also balancing volleyball and high school. not to mention, his team was not aware (or did not bring up) his new-found tiktok popularity. even in school, he was only approached about it three times and all three of them did not mention it to anyone else. yamaguchi just explained how he tends to record videos when he feels like it, and when he does he records a lot of them and various different types of videos. he has a decent amount of prepared videos in his drafts to post daily and last til his next burst of inspiration. that way he was able to focus on school and volleyball. it helped that yamaguchi still saw it as a hobby so he never felt compelled to stick by a certain regiment.

occasionally, yamaguchi would post storytimes. sometimes it would be about volleyball, other times it would be about school and very rarely he talked about something personal. his followers were quick to pick up a common denominator; his best friend. yamaguchi never referred to him by name, but tsukishima came up in almost all of the storytimes. they wanted to see who this “tall and cool and intelligent and protective and talented, volleyball-playing best friend” was.

yamaguchi wanted to show them tsukishima as well. when he found out that tsukishima was never against the idea, he immediately asked him to do a dance with him. the blonde immediately took back his words and started to walk away. it took a lot of convincing, but they eventually agreed on just posting one of yamaguchi’s bloopers that featured tsukishima from a few weeks ago. yamaguchi was going to record a short video in the gym while the team was still changing when his phone fell off the bench. he was laughing as he picked it back up and panned to the side to show tsukishima standing there, waiting for yamaguchi to finish up.

the comments immediately started flooding in and this time, tsukishima wasn’t online to delete them.

YAMA YOU DIDNT TELL US HE WAS HOT

… tall man… with glasses… and headphones… and plays a sport…

THIGHS

i smell something fruity in the air

I WANT HIM TO BE MY BEST FRIEND WTF

the,,, height difference yall,,,, THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

tsukki? help that’s such a cute fucking name

yamaguchi was was very pleased that his followers saw tsukishima the way he did. tsukishima on the other hand, was mortified. “this is borderline sexual harassment, yamaguchi.” tsukishima muttered as he went through the comments beside yamaguchi as they laid in his bed. he scrolled even furthur down and his eyes went wide. “never mind, this is sexual harassment. if i see one more comment about my thighs, i will disable the comments.” yamaguchi turned his head to look at his best friend, ignoring how close they were. “gomen, tsukki. ill disable it myself, don’t worry.” tsukishima turned his head towards yamaguchi and went red when he saw how close his face was to the smaller boy. not to mention, the wide and honest eyes he found staring back at his own. he flushed and turned back to his phone, claiming that he didn’t care and that he didn’t need to do that. (yamaguchi still did, anyway).

despite that (and yamaguchi’s strongly worded comment about not objectifying his best friend), his followers wanted more of tsukishima. however, his best friend absolutely refused to participate in a dance, a trend or “anything else you guys do”. however, no matter how cold and collected tsukishima was, even he wasn’t invulnerable to yamaguchi’s pouting. especially if he did it every time he asked. he eventually gave in, but still refusing to do anything for a video.

after some back and forth, they decided on posting a video of him from yamaguchi’s gallery since he had a habit of taking random videos of his friends. after scrolling through yamaguchi’s gallery for a while, something caught tsukishima’s eye. he pointed out to a thumbnail of him sleeping and saw yamaguchi blushed from the corner of his eye as he clicked on the video. it was a video of tsukishima asleep in yamaguchi’s bed after he slept over since they had a late night study session. it was obvious that tsukishima was deep asleep despite the sunlight and wind coming through the window, emphasising the softness of his hair. his glasses were on the window still so half of his soft face was nestled into the pillow. after a few seconds, yamaguchi’s hand comes into the frame and softly combs through tsukishima’s hair. both boys were red as they watched what was on the screen, yamaguchi was so sure that his ears were going to melt off.

“i- i…”

“… post that one.”

“… what?”

“post this video.”

before yamaguchi could process the request, tsukishima turned away from yamaguchi and tucked the blanket around himself. yamaguchi recognised it as tsukishima’s ‘im going to take a nap now’ position. he could see tsukishima’s red ear poke out of the edge of the blanket and turned his attention back to the screen instead (or he might not stop himself from spooninghisbestfriend). yamaguchi watched over the video a few times, picked a song to add in the background and wrote a short caption before posting it.

@yamayama 🍓|| by the way, his name is tsukishima. only i get to call him tsukki ;) #fyp #besties

YAMA WHAT IS THIS WHATS GOING ON

wtf why is this so soft and precious what the fuck

YAMA?!?!?!!?

oo, he’s possessive 👀

BITCH REALLY SAID #BESTIES

man, today is a good day to be gay

TSUKKI WAKE UPPPP I DONT LIKE THIS, TSUKKI WAKE UPPP (jk let him sleep he’s adorable)

yamaguchi put his phone on focus mode, which muted his tiktok notifications but allowed messages and calls to go through. he got out of bed to grab a book so that he can read beside tsukishima while he was asleep. while picking out a book, his phone pinged really loudly and he silently dashed to the bed and putting it on silent mode. peaking over and making sure tsukishima was still asleep, yamaguchi sighed in relief and checked his message.

sugawara-san: hey, yamaguchi! could you call me whenever you’re available? ive got a question about your latest tiktok video…

sugawara-san: before you start panicking, don’t! if you don’t want to talk about it either, we don’t have to!

yamaguchi definitely panicked. there he was, thinking that no one on his team knew about his videos. turns out his own senpai watched his videos. and he posted a video with one of his teammates in his bed. if it weren’t for tsukishima sleeping on his bed, he would have dived under the covers and screamed. unfortunately, the bed was occupied which meant that yamaguchi probably had to handle the situation. he let suga know that he’ll call him in 5 minutes then proceeded to find his coat and head out the door, not before leaving tsukishima a note. once he walked out his front door, he pressed the call button on suga’s contact and felt his heart rate spike.

“hi-“

“yamaguchi! hi! im sorry, were you busy?”

“no, no. im just on a walk right now.” (“because tsukki is asleep in my bed and i didn’t want to wake him up” goes unsaid).

“nice, nice. well, im going to cut to the chase and ask if there’s anything going on between you and tsukishima.”

yamaguchi blushed again. he swears he blushes so much he probably has more blood in his face than he has in the rest of his body at this point. rubbing his neck and looking at the sky, yamaguchi replies with a soft “no”.

“but you want to, don’t you?”

sighing, yamaguchi nodded. then he remembered suga couldn’t see him so he hummed in agreement. out of all his senpais, suga has always been the most perceptive of them all. infact, he was the second most perceptive one on the team when it came to yamaguchi. tsukishima taking the top spot.

“would you like to talk about it?”

“i… i don’t think so. i think we both are aware on each other’s feelings.”

“i figured. what’s stopping you guys from making things official?”

yamaguchi had to pause for another moment to think of his answer. him and tsukishima have always been there for each other, and they’re damn sure they will continue to be there for each other in the future. hinata and kageyama may have that thing where they aim to go to the top of the world together, but yamaguchi and tsukishima have always planned to go against the world together. he knows that he won’t get rejected if he did confess, but he also knew it wasn’t the right time.

“i think tsukki and i have a lot more growing to do. we’ve changed a lot since middle school, but we still have more to grow. and for that to happen we need to do most of it on our own. when we do officially go out, i have a feeling we’d tell people we’ve been together since we were kids. besides, it’s not like either of us will date. tsukki’s the one for me, he’s always been.”

it was silent on the other end and yamaguchi nearly started freaking out from embarrassment. thankfully, suga didn’t leave him hanging for too long.

“wow, yamaguchi. here i was thinking id be your amazing senpai and help you guys get together but it turns out you guys already have it all figured out. that was… that was so sweet and… you definitely fit your ‘soft boi’ role… and…”

“suga-san… are… are you crying?”

“NO! it’s just… the wifi is weird, that’s all.” based on the voice crack, yamaguchi didn’t believe him.

“anyway, im so proud of you yamaguchi. not just for this, but for growing so much. i don’t think you know this because i don’t use my name on social media, but ive followed your account since that first viral video. ive been wanting to bring it up but kept forgetting. seeing you slowly grow more confident on screen and on the court makes me so proud. keep it going and i can see you wearing the #1 jersey in 2 years.”

yamaguchi paused in his steps. he knows he’s changed, but knowing his senpai has been watching him this whole time and was proud of him… it filled him with warmth. yamaguchi looked to the ground and felt a smile grow on his face as his eyes started to water “wow, thank you suga-san. now you’re going to make me cry.” suga chuckled and yamaguchi could hear him wipe his tears on the other end. he reminded yamaguchi that it was getting dark and that he should go home. yamaguchi wiped his tears and listened to his senpai, turning around to make the walk back home and ending the call with suga. a few seconds after the call ended, his phone vibrated.

sugawara-san: text me when you’re home! if i don’t hear from you in 20 minutes, you’re doing extra laps tomorrow!

sugawara-san: but be safe, don’t try to run across any roads.

sugawara-san: and watch out for anyone suspicious!

sugawara-san: (p.s. you should totally do a tiktok dance with your other half)

sugawara-san: (p.p.s. ask him when he’s sleepy. that’s how i got daichi to let us have a pizza party that one time.)

sugawara koushi really was the best senpai.

when yamaguchi got home, he threw his coat over the couch and went up to the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed. he went into his room to get his clothes before taking a shower and peaked over at tsukishima. he was curled on his side of the bed with the blanket only covering half his back. his glasses were on the windowstill which meant that he woke up at some point and removed his glasses. yamaguchi held a soft smile as he went up to adjust tsukishima’s blanket before going to take a shower.

after his shower, yamaguchi turned off all the lights in the room and crawled into bed with tsukishima. usually he’d just lay beside him and fall asleep but today, he felt a little bit more affectionate. lifting the blanket, yamaguchi wrapped his arms around the other boy and nuzzled his face into his back. it wasn’t the first time they cuddled, but yamaguchi was still surprised when tsukishima wrapped his arms around yamaguchi’s. mainly because he thought tsukishima was still asleep.

“nngn… t’dashi?”

“gomen, tsukki. did i wake you up?”

“…’es… where’d you go?”

“suga-san called me and i took it outside. it’s nothing important, don’t worry.”

“mmm… ‘kay…”

yamaguchi felt tsukishima snuggle up closer to him. there’s almost nothing yamaguchi loved more than a sleepy tsukishima. tsukishima hates sleeping cold so he usually has two blankets on his own bed, but whenever he’s sleeping beside yamaguchi, he forgoes one of the blankets for the body heat of having yamaguchi beside him. yamaguchi could tell tsukishima was about to fall back asleep and remembered what suga told him. he smiled with a slightly evil glint in his eyes as he adjusted himself so that he could free one of his arms and used the other thumb to rub one of tsukishima’s arm.

“tsukki?”

“hngg?”

“could you sleep over tomorrow too?”

“mm… yes, tadashi…”

“and could you help me cook breakfast in the morning too?”

“….mmmkay, t’dashi…”

“and do a tiktok dance video with me?”

“mmm… s’re dashi…”

yamaguchi grinned evilly as he stopped the recording he secretly took on his phone. he’ll ask him again in the morning when tsukishima was completely awake. he wouldn’t force tsukishima if he was vehemently against the idea, but if he wasn’t, yamaguchi knows that having that recording would help. he placed the phone on his bedside table and went back to cuddling his tsukishima.

[ fast forward to the next morning ]

“no.”

“pleaaaseeee tsukkiiiiiii”

tsukishima glares at the recording on yamaguchi’s phone in disgust. he liked to ignore his soft side once he’s properly awake and yet... “i can't believe you asked me this when i was barely awake.” “gomen, tsukki”. tsukishima could still believe it, though. yamaguchi was not all sweet and innocent. not after that many years with each other, at least.

yamaguchi stared at tsukishima’s frowning face and sighed. “kei,” he started and reached across the breakfast table to place his hand above tsukishima’s, “if youre actually uncomfortable with it, i won't force you to do it. im sorry that I've been very persistent about this. i guess i just watched too much tiktok videos of couples dancing and kinda wished we did one too.” yamaguchi was sincere in his words that he didn't notice his slip until after he finished. once he did, his eyes widened slightly and he started to pull his hand away.

“i’ll do it.” tsukishima turned his hand upward and stopped yamaguchi from pulling away.

“wha- no, no! it’s okay tsu-” 

“i didn't want to do it before this moment because i only saw it as something embarrassing and i thought you only wanted me to do it with you the same way you'd want any other friend to do it with you. but if it’s a little more than that, then i want to do it.”

yamaguchi grinned and nodded, picking his phone up and scrolling through his tiktok favourites at a swift speed to find something him and tsukishima could do. he started adding more and more tiktoks to an album for them to look through together later. tsukishima sighed and went back to his cereal to hide his soft smile at how excited yamaguchi was.

“by the way, i refuse to do anything remotely close to a thirst trap.”

yamaguchi paused, frowned and started to remove half of the videos from the album.

+

suga and daichi were about to reach the gym when suga’s phone vibrated. he pulled his phone out of his pocket while daichi digged his sports bag for the key to the gym. suga was surprised to see a notification from his internet-popular kouhai because he knew that yamaguchi tended to post his videos in the afternoon. he had his post notifications on for him, of course. he has them on for all of his kouhais that he stumbled across on the app.

noticing that daichi was still opening the door, suga clicked on the pop up and let the app open. he was incredibly surprised to see tsukishima on screen with him. he remembered telling yamaguchi about it the previous friday, but he didn't expect tsukishima to agree that fast. yamaguchi and tsukishima were an enigma indeed. 

suga let the video play and snorted out a laugh by the end of it. yamaguchi was dancing at his regular energy level while tsukishima seemed to be doing the bare minimum, but still trying. if yamaguchi was at a 90%, tsukishima was at a 30%. tsukishima tried to walk off halfway through the dance and yamaguchi dashed off to grab him back in. unfortunately the taller man stumbled as yamaguchi dragged him back into frame. suga laughed even harder the second time around.

“what are you laughing at?”

“nothing... nothing...”

suga paused the video and put his phone down to change his shoes. when he picked his phone back up, the video was paused on tsukishima getting dragged back into frame. he smiled again.

“you know, suga. one would think youre getting messages from a significant other from the way youre smiling.”

“hey!”

daichi chuckled and walked into the gym with suga tailing right behind it. a spark suddenly appeared in suga’s eyes as he stared at the back of daichi’s head.

“hey daichi, have you heard of tiktok?”

[poppy-metal]

Demure

Wc: 4k

Pairing: eren jaeger x reader

Cw: car sex, fingering, emphasis on reader being innocent and a virgin. reader is armins little sister. corruption kink

you're 6 years old when you first meet eren jaeger. apparently he'd run off some people that were bullying you big brother, armin. you admire him and mikasa immediately.

you're 8 and he's 11 when you get a scrape on your knee from playing tag. eren runs into your mothers bathroom to fish out the first aid-kit, you know he just doesn't want you to tattle, you never would anyway, but he pulls out a pink band-aid with little ariels all over it and places it gently over the cut. he stays there for a few beats, soothing the skin around the hurt area with his thumbs. his big bright green eyes look up at you, "better?" and that's the first time your heart skips for a boy.

you're 11 and he's 14 when armin starts becoming protective. "he's had like. 5 girlfriends in middle school, who knows what he's gonna be like in high-school"

it intrigue you, for some reason.

you're 13 and he's 16 when he taps furiously on your window at night, wild eyed and wearing a t-shirt and sweats. he falls ungracefully on his ass when you let him in, though he grins at you from the floor. "thanks, squirt"

you wince at the nickname, knowing it solidifies you as someone only platonic to him. armins little sister and nothing more. "what's this all about?"

he gets up and swipes imaginary dust off his sweats, looking around your room. its absurdly girly. he picks up one of your plushies and tosses it up, then catches it, peering over at you and grinning. "i hope you never change," he sighs and flops down onto your pink sheets. "girls my age are fucking psychos"

you creep closer to him, snatching your plush back. "im sure there's something you're leaving out there. im not completely dumb, you know"

he waves his hand, "yeah but you're....i don't know? innocent or whatever. you don't care about shit like boys and drama"

i do care about boys, you think, watching the way his shirt rides up to expose a hint of tan skin. you look away, squeezing your plush to your chest. "im gonna grow up eventually, ren"

he sighs and sits up, looking at you from under his ridiculously cute floppy brown hair. "Just promise me you won't go boy crazy"

you roll your eyes and sit down next to him, he leans in and licks a broad stripe against your cheek with his tongue, grinning "we have cooties"

you swat at him and wipe your cheek, groaning and calling him gross. "i know that. you and armin never let me forget how gross boys are", you side eye him. "what did you even do? really?"

he looks to the side, only now having it in him to look the least bit sheepish, "my girlfriend may have caught me with my hand down historias skirt..."

"EREN JAEGER!!!"

yeah, boys really are gross. but not eren, no he's beautiful and magical and makes you feel all the fluttery things. but he's also a player, a bad boy, dangerous and completely off limits. maybe your crush should have ended there, but of course it didn't.

You're 15 when you go on your first date with a boy. until now you haven’t allowed yourself to even think about men outside of the enigma that is eren jaeger, but that’s a lost cause, a stupid crush you need to let go of. and despite what eren thinks, you’re not that innocent. not in your head anyway. you’re a girl and you have fantasies. 

the guy is nice, armin likes him enough. big and tall and humble, reiner brought you flowers for your first date. the age difference is a little weird, he’s in erens grade, a senior, but you think its harmless. you’re turning 16 soon. the date goes well, you smile and giggle alot, and reiner seems smitten by the end of it. he even goes as far as to kiss your hand when he drops you back off at home, at 8pm sharp, just like he promised. he was kind and sweet, and you liked him, but you wonder what it means that there were no flutters in your belly, not like when you’re around him…

you’re still thinking about that when you open the door, and walk inside. the house is quiet, and you wonder where armin is, and eren. thinking they both must be in armins room, you go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, stopping on your path there when you see eren on the couch. he’s lounging back, hand idly wrapped around a gaming controller as he watches you.

you glance around him. “where’s mimmin?”

he doesn’t take his eyes off you. “annie called”, he leans forward a little, propping his chin in his palm as he observes you quietly for a moment.

you squirm in place, his eyes are too hot. “oh” and you make to start moving again but his voice stops you. 

“so. braun, huh?” his tone is hard to discern, the words coming out cool and detached, but his eyes are that intense green. 

“yeah” you say, shifting on your feet. “he was nice. kissed my hand and everything”

“sounds like a dream” and that is definitely said sarcastically. you bristle but eren is already turning away from you, facing the TV. “didn’t think he was your type though” 

because erens been your type since forever, you guess he’s right. reiner couldn’t be more different in both personality and looks, but maybe that’s a good thing. “maybe he can be” you say softly, looking at your feet. you dont see erens eyebrows jump, or his lips twist disdainfully. 

“If you wanna settle for missionary the rest of your life, then sure, go ahead” he sounds a little miffed and that confuses you. makes you look up. you don’t even know reiner that well, but you feel the need to defend him from erens usual snarky jabs. 

“not every guy that doesn’t live on Xbox and fuck half the school is a bland guy” you huff. you feel a little guilty for calling him out but he started it. eren hated preps, that was obvious, but its not like he was a model person either, if his long track record of promiscuity was anything to go by. reiner wasnt boring he just…..wasn’t eren. but that wasn’t a flaw. It shouldn’t be. 

“you been keeping tabs on me, princess?” eren asks wryly, smirking now. you just glare at him, quirking a brow and daring him to prove you wrong, to say he’s better. 

he doesn’t. he just looks at you, sets his controller down and does that tick he’d developed since he was young of jiggling his knee, tapping his finger on it. “don’t go on more dates with him” 

you squint your eyes, “and why not?”

“because i said so” 

“you’re not my boss” 

“because..” he scratches the stubble on his jaw, gaze looking far off as he stares at his bouncing leg. “guys shouldn't touch you” 

your mouth pops open. you get that, right now, you’re too young for stuff like sex, but being touched? everyone your age had boyfriends, why should you be any different?

It feels a bit like deja vu when you tell him, “m’not staying innocent forever. dating and s-sex are apart of life. you do it, why shouldn’t i?” 

you didn’t really get his whole overprotective bit, armin, who was your brother, wasn’t even this bad. he’d seen happy almost, when you told him about your date with reiner, even, so you really don’t see where eren is coming from. 

erens lip curls in a smirk and he points a finger at you. “that’s why” he says. “you can’t even say the word sex without stuttering. what’ll you do when you see a cock for the first time?” 

your skin heats, hating that he’s right. “I’ll grow out of it” you promise him. 

he huffs a laugh. “sure thing, dork” but then his face gets serious. “you don’t need to change though. sex is lame, i promise.” 

“you seem to have alot of it, so there must be something good about it” 

“for me, yeah” he grins. “but im selfish. most men are, and you deserve better than some highschool tumble with a guy who looks like he can’t find the clit to save his life” his eyes weigh you down. “just keep bein’ you. If i come back from college and hear that you’re the towns tramp stamp, m’ not gonna be happy” 

and that’s that. 

you’re 16 when eren leaves for college. you get to 18 without ever being touched. 

you’re 18 and you wish you hadn’t begged armin to let you come to this stupid bomfire party. it’s just the first time he’s been home in the 2 years since he’d left for college, and you know that means eren is back too, though you have yet to see him. he’s supposed to be at the party though.

you wonder if he’ll react to having seen you after not for awhile, if he’ll look at you different now that you’re grown. you’re wearing a simple pleated white skirt and a pink top, the picture of innocence you’ve always been, never changing. 

being around so many people makes you uncomfortable, you want to cling to armins side, but you don’t want to be annoying so you tell him its okay to leave you. your eyes scan the mass of people on the crowded beach as you nervously hold your solo cup to your chest. 

your eyes stop their nervous skittering when they land on someone familiar. 

college eren is completely different and yet wholly the same since you’d last seen him. he’s wearing a red bomber jacket, over a black t-shirt and skinny jeans, scuffed converse kicking in the sand as he shifts from one foot to the other. you peep tan skin, a hint of a tattoo peeking on his neck and….and black hair. he’d dyed his hair, and, is that jewelry on his ear? rings on his hand?

he’s smiling easily with a pretty blonde and...and reiner. talking to them like old friends as he tilts his head back and laughs, taking a swig from his cup. he’s still chuckling and shaking his head when his eyes flick distractedly over, rove over you and then stop. even from all the way where you are the green of his eyes pins you in place. the warm glow of the bonfire dances across his features, and you see the bastard has a lip ring as well. he takes his time cataloging you and you do him, before his lips tilt, he hands off his drink and he makes his way over to you. 

your whole body is tense with nerves as he gets closer and closer.

when he’s standing in front of you, the smell of his cologne wafts over you. his smile is small and genuine. “hey, pip” 

pip as in short for pipsqueak. you have to fight the urge to grin at him, your cheeks warming pleasantly, even though you groan out loud. “m’ not little anymore” 

“I can see that” eren eyes rake over you, linger on your bare legs before dragging slowly back up. his eyes feel like a caress and when they meet yours again, you’re already tingly. you’ve never been touched sexually, and just one look from eren has you wet between the legs like nothing. “still dress like you wanna be an extra in a Bratz commercial” 

the tension disputes as you swat his arm. “shut up!! Its a fashion choice, not like you’d know. dressed like a wannabe rockstar” 

“aw, c’mon. you’d be my groupie right?” 

you roll your eyes. “you wish, jaeger”

“mm” he hums softly. “s’cute though. always has been” 

before you can even register the compliment, he’s leaning forward to peek into your cup, swiping it easily from you. “underage drinking, are we? left you for a couple years and you go rebel barbie on me” 

you squawk as he chugs all of your drink back in one gulp, crushing the cup in his fist and tossing it behind him. “ren! I wasn’t even drinking it. It was..” you wave your hand around. “for the aesthetic”

“uh huh” he drones, but then he jerks his chin. “i’ll get you another one to stand around and look pretty with then. C’mon”

cute, pretty. the compliments are gonna make your heart fly out of your chest if he doesn’t let up. you follow him as he leads you to a keg, one that’s a little ways away from the bustle of the party, close to the parking lot where you came in. 

you shyly say ‘thank you’ when he fills you a cup and hands it to you, proceeding to lean back against a car as he goes back to observing you.

to distract yourself you mumble, “you can’t just lean on a strangers car for the sake of being cool” 

the grin is back. “you think im cool?” when you glare at him he rolls his eyes and slaps the hood of the car. “she’s mine, pip. you can untwist your panties” 

you blink at him, “since when did you get a new car? and when did you dye your hair?” 

he looks at you curiously, drumming his fingers. “do you not, like. follow me on instagram?”

you look away, kicking your feet in the sand. hesitantly you admit, “didn’t wanna miss you, so i didn’t look” 

he doesn’t say anything to that. the silence stretches between you, making you nervous. should you not have said that? you guessed it was weird, after all, but it was true. If you’d looked at how erens life was progressing without you there to see it, you’d have cried and been a total lovesick girl about it. 

he finally breaks the silence. “do you have a boyfriend?” 

you look back at him. “uh...no? do you?”

the smirk you wanted ghosts over his lips again, and your eyes are drawn to his lip ring when he tugs it between his teeth. “nah, you know me. unattainable” 

“yeah, i know” you say under your breath, thinking of how eren jaeger had been an unattainable fantasy for you for years. 

“so no current boyfriend or…?” 

“no boyfriends...ever” its embarrassing to admit, but less humiliating than admitting that the reason that was is because you’re in love with your brothers best friend, the very man standing before you now. 

“that’s kinda tragic, pip” eren hops up on the hood of his car and fishes a cigarette out of his pocket. he waves a hand at you, “you’re rockin’ a bod like that and no one’s bagged you? thought you’d be beating down options with a bat by now” 

you watch the smoke that plumes in the air, the way it coils and wisps, and really look at eren. he’s tragically beautiful. his no black hair is boyishly messy, tangled around his head in a dark halo. his face is sharp and tan, his eyes striking and making you feel like you’re sinking into the sand beneath your feet.

you’ve wanted him for so long, it makes you ache. years and years of pushing away men and declining confessions for this man in front of you. you’d never expected anything from him, but you couldn’t move past the fantasy in your head. couldn’t imagine giving any of your firsts to anyone but eren. 

“you told me to stay innocent” its out before you can stop the words, they just fumble out, spilling from your lips and into the air like the smoke.

eren stills, pauses from where he’d been about to take another drag. his expression is unreadable. he flicks the ashes from the cig on the sand, stumps it out under his foot as he hops down. the wind ruffles his dark hair as he just looks and looks and looks at you. 

“yeah?” and oh, jesus, if the rough gravel in his voice doesn’t make your cunt warm immediately. “and you listened?” 

you squeeze your thighs together, an action that draws erens gaze between your legs. to late to back down now, you think, and wet your lips. “y-yeah. I did” 

“you didn’t let any boys touch you while i was gone?” eren continues and he draws closer, creeping towards you.

you shake your head, silent as he comes in front of you. he reaches up to delicately push a strand of hair behind you ear with one of his ring fingers. he keeps it tucked behind your ear as he towers over you, staring you down. “you’re still my innocent little girl, huh?” 

you wonder if this is how it feels to be seduced, seduced by eren jaeger no less. his eyes are warm, and they make you feel warm from where the rest on your eyes, and then, your lips. they part under his gaze, on instinct. “I am, ren. always have been” 

his eyes darken, and the finger behind your ear becomes his whole hand sliding to cup the back of your head, slowly fisitng your hair in it. “shit” he tilts your head up. “you can’t say things like that, baby”

baby, baby, baby. your head swims. you’re on autopilot now, speaking without thinking and you think that’s good because if you were thinking clearly you wouldn't have the courage. “i’ve always been your good girl. no one elses” 

you have one second to hear his exhale before his lips are crashing against yours, and oh. oh, he’s good. you feel the metal of his lip ring against your bottom lip as he slides his tongue in your mouth, eating you up.

“god, you’re sweet” he nips your lip. “knew you would be”

you pant into his mouth, your hands curling on his chest, “y-you’ve thought about me?”

“‘course i did, im not blind” he pulls away. “I just really like my dick and didn’t want it chopped off. armin is scary” 

you know he can be when he wants to be, knows if he saw eren ravishing his little sister against his car right now, body parts would be strewn about. and that’s just from armins verbal warfare.

you look at eren demurely from under your lashes, “i don’t want anything to happen to your…” you trail off at the end.

erens eyebrows climb up his forehead, he presses close to you, tugs you to him. “my…” he prods, eyes glinting with mischief. 

you look away, pouting. “know i can’t say it” you mumble, hating that even now, saying vulgar words is embarrassing for you.

erens chest shakes with a laugh. “you just sucked my tongue down your throat, pip, and you can’t talk about my cock? you’re precious, c’mere.” he starts walking backwards, towards his car. “we gotta be sneaky about it but-” he dips down to kiss you again, once, twice. “i really wanna touch you” 

you gulp, and nod, let him pull you to his car and open the backseat for you, climbing in after you. he shuts and locks it behind him and then he’s facing you, eren jaeger giving you his full attention. looking at you like he wants you, like he’s seeing you, like he wants to do alot of bad things to you.

you place a shaking hand on his shoulder. “im- i dont know what to do..”

you want to impress him, but pretending you’re good at something you’re not won’t do that. eren doesn’t like liars anyway. 

he scoots close to you, pulling you halfway onto his lap until you’re sitting comfortably against him. you bite your lip when you feel the hard ridge of his cock pressing against your ass under your skirt. one of his hands settles on your bare thigh, scooting it up just barely.

“you ever watch porn, sweetheart?” erens breath puffs against your ear and you squirm on top of him. 

you push down your own embarrassment, resigning yourself to be a big girl and be honest. “s-sometimes” 

“yeah?” god, why does just that word turn you on so much? “tell me what kind of stuff you watch when you touch your little pussy” 

his vulgar words go straight to your cunt, at the same time his hand slides up your thighs and slips under your skirt. you close your eyes when you feel the tip of his finger trace over the band of your panties. “they’re always a couple..” you gasp when his hand dips inside, palm cupping over your pussy. “a-and the guy has dark hair..”

“Imagining anyone in particular?” eren teases, but you hear his breath catch at the same time yours does when he sinks one long finger inside. the folds around your slit part seamlessly around the intrusion, sucking his finger in like your pussy wants it there. “so wet, baby. keep talking for me?”

ever the good girl, you push through the tingles and the heat spreading down your legs, the slick sound of his finger fucking in and out of you filling the silent car as you struggle to find words. “s-shes always inexperienced. Its her first time and...and hes gentle” you moan a little when erens thumb comes to swirl around your clit, hips lips finding your neck. he’s teasing another finger at your tight entrance when you swallow another groan and try to keep talking like he’d asked. “he’s gentle but he takes. t-takes what he wants”

“mm” eren hums, tongue sliding against your skin. you gasp when the tip of his ring finger edges in beside the other one, stretching your tight passage around his digits in thorough little twists of his fingers. “that’s real good, baby. you like the sound of that, huh?” 

eren hooks his chin over your shoulder, bunches your skirt around your waist so he can see where your little pussy is clenching and squeezing around him, clit engorged and throbbing for attention. when you don’t answer, he continues, using the slick dripping down your slit, gathering it and then pushing back into you. “I bet” he says, low, husky. “In those videos, he eats her out real nice, yeah? makes sure her little virgin cunt is wet enough to take his cock”

“y-yeah” you pant, holding his wrist but not pulling it away, pushing him more towards you. you’re starting to grind down against the pleasure, walls rhythmically fluttering around his fingers, fucking yourself on them without even knowing it. he curls them, and your head thumps back against his shoulder as you cry out. 

“i’ll give that to you” eren promises, pumping his fingers faster, his other hand coming up to cup one of your tits over your blouse, giving it a squeeze. “gonna take you home after you cream around my fingers and lay you out on your bed” he kisses your cheek, holding you firm against him when you start to twitch and writhe. “lick this little flower open. wanna feel your thighs squeeze my face when i drink the cum from your pussy, get you all loose and wet and then i wanna feel you drip down my dick when i slide it inside”

“oh god, ren!” you jerk in his hold as you feel your orgasm crest over you, gushing down his palm, as you ride his hand, milking it as tingles shoot across your whole body. A milky, creamy film rests around his knuckles when he slides his fingers out of your weeping cunt, still pulsating and twitching from the come down. 

he rubs the excess slick around your folds and clit, rubbing it in. you whimper and he chuckles and kisses your cheek. 

you sag against him, fucked out. eren brushes some hair from your forehead and kisses it. “wannabe punk pounds sweet virgin pussy into her bed” 

you look at him, confused and dazed “huh?”

eren grins at you. “s’ gonna be the name of our porno” 

[livingbutamireally]

AY2019/2020 Y1S1 Module Review

AY2019/2020 year 1 semester 1 review

Started school around august after orientation camp in july, and had to study after doing nothing for months after a levels and finally had the taste of the rigour of this major.. semester 1 went by too quickly..

Modules taken this semester:

CS1010S

MA1101R

MA1521

BT1101

GER1000

CS1010S Programming Methodology (Python)

Prof: Ben Leong

Exam Dates: 2 Oct (Midterm) / 16 Nov (Practical Exam) / 27 Nov (Finals)

Weightage:

Coursemology – 25% (25%)

Participation – 5% (5%)

Midterm test – 15% (-)

Practical exam – 15% (20%)

Final assessment – 40% (50%)

(those in brackets are for those taking alternative final)

S in CS1010S is for science students, most students are either science students (DSA/ Life Science plenty) or BZA students.

Overall this module easily had the highest workload compared to other modules, having to rush missions every week, complete tutorials (this is pretty standard duh) and lecture trainings before deadlines for bonus points on a gamified platform. One could sit at their table wracking their brains for the whole day and still not be able to come up with a feasible code, or have their codes stuck with some bugs and not knowing how to continue. Really, without the help from fellow friends this module would be hard to get through. Luckily my TA was kind (and patient!) enough to explain such that my brain could get it. Ended up having to IP this module sadly… This module really requires your wholehearted devotion and really tests your patience i must say, especially for people who are not too intellectually inclined (aka me)..

They introduced a new scheme this semester aka Alternative Final, meaning you get to retake your midterm and finals by tabao-ing it into the next sem except you do your finals during the recess week instead of the finals, kinda like a half-retaking a module? Your grades for finals are IP-ed (in progress) rather than letter grades and the finals and midterms will be accounted for in the following half a semester albeit under different weightage components.

They said its a introductory module, but …………..

This year’s practical exam was particularly hard i think i had friends (even the zai ones) getting single digit marks… banked full in on the Method of Life question (Q5) of finals which is a giveaway question asking you how you can apply the concepts to other parts of your life and your main take-aways from taking this module (filled up the whole page and got full marks for it 4m) without this question i would have failed the paper..

Now i have to work hard the next sem… its kinda sad for us BZA students because CS1010S is a prerequisite for those wanting to take BT2101 and CS2030/2040 modules in the following semester (y1s2). Future students (esp BZA) please take the advice to consider this when deciding whether to IP…. because guess who didnt and regretted not thinking deeper…..

Ah one more thing to take note is the weightage is quite different for those IP/ alternative final people, theres higher weightage for the papers :_D

Ben Leong is a pretty good lecturer, hes solid in delivering concepts except my brain may be a little too slow for him.. Theres also lecture videos online that you can refer to and thousands of papers (with solutions!!) waiting for you to do.. something uncommon for many modules i heard? also, you get to see your final (scanned) paper through a website, in ben leong’s words “how cool is that?” he also uploads the mark scheme for your reference which is pretty cool imo. He’s a very interesting lecturer.

MA1521 Calculus for Computing

Prof: Leung Pui Fai

Exams: No midterms, just an online quiz (4 questions, most get full marks for), and the finals

Weightage: cant really rmb the weightage but i think its 40-60? i think tutorial attendance isnt graded..

They said this was just a repeat of H2 maths with more stuffs well boy i must say this wasnt as easy as they said.. okay maybe for me, ive always struggled with maths for a really long time. Surprisingly got a B for H2 Maths, i got a B3 for O levels really the blemish in my results. Got a B- for this module. Many people will say this is an easy module, you can trust them a little different in my shoes i guess. I didnt turn up for lectures for the half part of the semester since he talks a bit too slowly so i just watch the webcast sped up. But being a procrastinator i’m really behind on webcasts by the time the exams came.. i think i spent too much time on CS1010S and its still not enough.. if you dont have the discipline to watch them religiously at home, i would suggest you go for the lecture even though he may talk abit slowly but it forces you to not miss out on them. I dont really had the time (is it i wonder?) to do the tutorials either so i was also behind on them.. most of the time i just sat for tutorials and took the answers down to only work on them many weeks later (much regrets) so i didnt really understood what was going on as the TA went through. please dont be like me… the recess week was for sure not enough to revise/ learn all the content for all your mods for both midterms/finals so please dont be lazy like me…. this is the suffering i brought upon myself TT

Overall i think. it is not that hard a mod if you do your work consistently.. things got a little confusing towards the end i heard they dropped a whole chapter this semester glad they did.

MA1101R Linear Algebra I

Prof: Wang Fei

Weightage:

Finals (28 Nov, 2h)— 60%.

Mid-term test (4 Oct, 2h)— 20%.

3 homework assignments (4% per assignment) — 12%. 

An in-class Lab (MATLAB) quiz — 8%.

This was one of my most hardest period in my life and i say this on PERIODT. As if maths wasnt tough enough, this will really declare a survival of the fittest among your remaining brain cells. Friends told me maths came into their dreams… pls extinguish my soul. You must be thinking i am crazy for wanting to take 2 math mods in a sem right? ?

Yeahh no one really does that but it was my idea because i didnt want to do maths together with all the core core mods (BT and CS) next sem so i decided ah i should just get maths over and done with ( hAH real joke bc i couldnt clear CS1010S and i cant take 2k level mods for BT and CS and unlocked clown outfit because theres one more ST2334 core mod that involves probability and stats so much for thinking i will be over and done with for dealing with maths– someone tell me why did i choose this major again?)

Somehow along the way i realised the bell curve for this was surprisingly high i think those who chose this mod intend to delve even deeper in mathematics, mayhaps i joined the wrong major. The R in MA1101R actually stands for rigorous i didnt realise until my friend read the fine prints in the SOC Course Curriculum for BZA or sumn. Pure hell. There are 3 homework assignments (graded mind you) and most of the students get around 50++/60 i think i was the one of the rare few who flunked quite badly and always eyeballed by my TA (who is a prof for some 3k or 4k level maths, not for this mod though). I approached him for consults and for help and he was nice enough to sit me down and explain slowly. He’s pretty good at explaining slowly although he’s pretty fast in class (and most of the semester i had close to ZERO idea what was going on in class for pretty much most of the mods). Shockingly managed to pull out a C from my butt. The intellect of the students are no joke.. Homework assignments are every 3 weeks starting week 6 i think (so week 6, 9, 12) and i think are there to make sure you catch up with the work.

Oh lectures-wise, i sat for ½ of his classes, i really absorb almost nothing.. the rest of the lecture hall seem to get it though or so it seems. so i stopped attending my own lectures to watch the webcast for Prof Victor Tan too. His webcasts/lectures are really popular and it really owe it to his teaching, apparently he taught Wang Fei before and of course had over ten more years of experience. WF’s lecture turn-outs are comparatively less compared to VT. And on panopto (webcast platform) i think it was almost always 360++ views for VT as compared to a 80++/ was it 30++ for WF if i recall correctly. VT slides are also more concise and simple to understand where as WF’s ones are similar to the textbook. You are also required to purchase a textbook for this module costs around $20 from the co-op store in science and i urge you to purchase it asap when the profs announce they are made available bc they run oos quite fast.. the tutorial questions are from the textbook and the textbook is very simple and straightforward and put together by some of the lecturers/profs in school.

BT1101 Introduction to Business Analytics

Prof: Dr Sharon Tan, Desmond Ong

Weightage:

1. Online Quiz & Datacamp Assignments — 7%

Tutorial 1-4 — 8%

Tutorial 5 onwards — 15%

In-class Assessment (Written) — 10%

Practical Assessment — 20%

Final Assessment — 40%

In class assessment is held 2ish weeks after your midterms week so its kinda like your midterms?

Mm i would say this module is the most ?? its hard to put in words but if you read up the confessions page (NUSwhispers) regularly you would see many complaints that the mod is structured not as neatly as CS1010S its quite here and there everywhere and personal opinion, sometimes i dont know what i am supposed to learn but i guess its like that? The profs seem to value not wanting to spoonfeed and us learning on our own and stuff like that. I heard the mod was much harder in previous years and they simplified it a lot compared to in the past (which i really thank god) but its still a bit ?? They split it into two halves, first half of the sem is taught by Dr ST (Descriptive Analytics) and the next half by DO (Prescriptive and Predictive Analytics).

There are online videos to be watched every week even though you get lectures once every 2 weeks when Dr ST teaches and tutorials to be submitted to your TAs that are graded only after about 6/7 weeks. They leave comments (½ sentences someitmes shorter) and your marks received and thats about all so you dont really know where you went wrong since they are not marked paper and pen way. The tutorials are coding exercises for questions using the R language. They also used Datacamp to drill some of the basics of R for a headstart. Her workshop style lectures are a lot of on the spot learning how to code and stuff which i lag behind a bit because she goes a bit fast in order to cover everything. We learn new content via the online videos that we have to watch every week and theres quizzes for them too weekly iirc.

The next half by DO had no online videos (great!! and no quizzes!!) but weekly lectures and graded tutorials are due every 2 weeks(!!). There are still weekly tutorials but its only graded for every 2nd one, wow this saved me a lot of time phew. I didnt get to do the tutorials for those that are not graded but read through the questions so that i get a gist of whats going on, and somehow i really dont have the time to do it? CS1010S really absorbed a large chunk of my time cries. Finals was a oK it was not that bad i think. There are 20 MCQs and then about 4 structured questions? Closed-book with 1 A4 sheet cheatsheet.

Oh and the bad part about the tutorials are the tutors wont provide you with the model answers/codes so you’re really just on your own. You either get it or nah. :_D

GER1000 Quantitative Reasoning

Weightage:

1. Tutorial — 10%

2. 10 Weekly Quizzes — 20%

3. Project —35% (Presentation 10%, Final Report 25%)

4. Finals (28 MCQs, 2h) — 35%

No lectures so no profs, just weekly online videos and quizzes.

Tutorials are every odd/even weeks depending on the slot you chose.

Groups are arranged by the TAs beforehand.

This was pre-allocated for us so (grits teeth). Honestly a waste of time. One of the mods i neglected till the end to focus on other mods (which was worth it). The workload was manageable, of course (if not how to neglect). Every 2 week you meet together wiht your groupmates to discuss tutorial questions (each group will discuss 1 qn) and every tutorial class ended about 30min earlier. Nearing the end theres a group project report and slides to be done. Report is in the form of QnA so you just answer the questions and slides/ presentation is going through an article of a topic you chose (theres about 10) and you analyse the QR part of it what is good what can be better, etc. Theres also a bit of the stats part with probability and stuff but its a OK. Bell curve steep for finals (40 MCQ, 2h) but most finished in 1h and left the hall, i was one of the few who stayed till the end even though i was just staring at the paper into the depths of my soul for reasons unknown) It’s a lot about experiments not really the scientific/ calculations part of it but understanding about coming up with experiments, the pros and cons of carrying things out a certain way in loose terms something like the art of crafting experiments? makes you think a bit deeper how and what people think and not so dry i guess.

Epilogue

i guess thats a wrap–new semester starts soon :( i think this might be the first module/semester review tumblr blog but i hope this can be of help to anyone, to anyone at all. the owner of many of similar review blogs get really stellar results which i may be too out of league from so i hope this brings comforts to those who are doing not so well and encourage them because im not any different we exist, and we’ll survive.

CARPE DIEM 2020 LETS GEDDIT