#OKAY WAIT BUT THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT CONNOR TRIES TO DO IN THEIR VERSION OF HARD TRAVELING HEROES I JUST REALISED LMAO

[covertblizzard]

I’m just cataloguing the quotes from when Kyle nearly gave up being Green Lantern for good because I think it is interesting and plays very much into the idea that Kyle probably wouldn’t have gone near the hero route if it wasn’t very much thrust upon him.

To start with, right before this he says “I think there are a few people I need to visit. Might help me get my head straight.” to his mom and instead of any alive people I thought he was going to visit, HE VISITS DONNA AND ALEX.

And then Major Force comes to try to convince him some more which for some reason WORKS?? (Listen boy, even if he didn’t kill your mom, he did most definitely kill Alex still? I know he’s not in the right frame of mind or something but this is the SECOND time you’ve given up your ring to a known and established villain that you’ve fought like you think he would know better by now)

Major Force would’ve gotten away with it too lol if he didn’t decide to be stupid and say THIS which cause Kyle to realise he was making a mistake and fought back and took the ring back.

So in the end, he makes a decision and the whole series wraps up with this.

It does make one wonder, would he have chosen differently, under a different scenario, under a different sets of condition? Because unlike a lot of heroes, he doesn’t seem that stuck to the whole career choice (at this point) in a way in that he even very genuinely and sincerely considers giving it up. Would he have regretted it if he had chosen to walk away? Is it even possible to walk away, or would he have walked back after a while?

[dbh-is-a-crime]

All Dbh Chapters

@kaydel your reply to my ask has inspired me to give my thoughts on each of the chapters.

Chapter 1: The Hostage

Is honestly a good first chapter, the tension and stakes are high, it pulls you in. There's a reason people who played the demo were hyped for the game. And regardless of what I think of Cage's writing, it's not the first time he's done a solid intro to a game. (Swiftly followed by garbage but I digress..)

We learn something about deviancy and how it starts, we get a sequence of dialogue based gameplay to set up how important it is to the story, and we get a taste of Connor’s somewhat underdeveloped investigation gameplay. 

I will admit that there are several lines I kind of like in this scene (’You can’t kill me, I’m not alive’ I’d like this even better if Bryan didn’t love it so much) And most of the outcomes are very cool! 

Chapter 2: Opening

Is not a chapter, it's the opening credits. It's not really interesting, but it's not as bad as Heavy Rain's, only because it's about half as long. Kara was robbed.

Chapter 3: Shades of Color

What a title am I right! And no, it's not just because of the paints. This chapter, title aside, isn't bad! We don't learn anything about Markus but it sets the world up nicely. It's one of the cooler open areas. It shows off the graphics nicely. 

And all of that is promptly ruined by the overly heavy-handed scene with the protesters. With the follow up of the back of the bus! Also the preacher guy is weird what was the point of that.

Chapter 4: A New Home

Easily one of the most (if not The Most) boring chapters in the game. Mundane QTEs? We all looooooove those! At the end of the chapter you get some exposition to a very nice composition (this game really would be nothing without the music) and that part is actually ok. But the mundane housework gameplay doesn’t get a pass, even if it is to give context for what the life of an android is like. Would be 100% better if there was 40% less housework.

Chapter 5: The Painter

A solid chapter! Learning about Markus through his interactions with Carl? An actual good narrative device? Unbelievable. At surface level their relationship is sweet and Carl is so supportive of Markus growing beyond his programming. Though there is a darker undertone that mirrors the caged android birds. And that it’s all a gilded cage. And I like both of those interpretations, they’re interesting. 

The music mini game is interesting the first time you do it but after that I’m never picking it again, chess it is from now on.

Chapter 6: Partners

Connor’s return after 5 chapters. I think that might be the longest break between appearances for any of them. Anyway this chapter is mostly fine. It sets up Hank and Connor’s troubled partnership and shows us what most of Connor’s gameplay is going to be. (Detective work and trying to reason with Hank) It would be interesting if there was an option to let Ortiz’ android go, seeing as there if a version of the scene where you don’t find him. But I guess it’s too early for Connor to be disobeying.

Chapter 7: Stormy Night

Classic David Cage has women being abused by men! Unfortunately this is one of Kara’s best chapters. The tension from the very first moment if real, and as soon as Alice runs up stairs, you just know what’s going to happen. Without fail, every person I’ve ever watched, immediately tries to follow her. Honestly? Solid way to make me care about the kid. 

I know some folks have problems with showing child abuse on screen, but my opinion is that they kept the worst of it as implied, like in the failed ending of the chapter, you don’t see it actually happen. So I’m personally okay with it, but I can understand why some may disagree.

10/10 for the chase/escape scene. It’s stressful as hell but honestly the music just makes it...like idk the moment Kara deviates? I nearly, literally screamed the first time. The build up to it is so good, and you as the player are determined to protect Alice and will fight through the programming to do it.

Chapter 8: Broken

Gonna be honest, Markus’ deviating scene falls a little flatter for me. I’ve watched several people play for the first time and actively not want to break programming and retaliate. Which makes the fact that its a scripted event you can’t avoid frustrating to them. I guess we just haven’t seen any anger from him yet so it doesn’t feel like the reaction you expect? (I get that it’s supposed to be him finally cracking, the story just...doesn’t convey that very well.)

Also the fact that you get punished for staying silent with Carl dying is shitty.

Chapter 9: The Interrogation 

Talk about fucking tense! This scene is a real challenge, in either difficulty. Unless you don’t care about the android self-destructing? 

I don’t have much else to say, it’s not a bad scene but there’s not a lot of substance to it. The ‘the day will come when we will no longer be slaves’ line is...the start of the truly terrible writing choices in this game.

Chapter 10: Fugitives

Not a bad scene. Getting to choose to steal a bunch of stuff is fun, and the fact that you can steal all this shit and then go and sleep in the car is pretty funny. I don’t like the house or Ralph, just because it’s another chance to put a female character at risk from a male character. 7/10 I’m never picking the house. (Also did you know you can fail to steal from that guy in the laundromat and he wakes up lmao)

Chapter 11: From The Dead

Ok this is going to be kind of a controversial opinion...but I’m tired of this scene. While it’s true that no scene in the game holds up on the 20th watch/play, this scene lost most of it’s shock value on the 3rd watch. Now that being said, the sound design in the scene is brilliant. And putting the audio processor back in does still give me chills, but the rest of the scene? I mean, I guess cannibalising other androids is a pretty powerful story action. But the fact that you can take all of the things you need from dead androids if you search hard enough kind of ruins that for me. 

Also idk why but everyone collectively thinks that Markus screams when he reaches the top of the slope and I have no idea why.

Chapter 12: Waiting For Hank

Boooooooring. Ok, getting beat up by Gavin after refusing to make him coffee is mildly interesting. But the fact that Hank just hates you in the scene is honestly quite tiring. Like, his opinion of Connor will inevitably go down at least once, you can’t avoid that. Also there’s nothing to explore in the office so...

Chapter 13: On The Run

Both versions of this scene are very tense. And not in...a super fun way. Like ok, Kara has that empowering woman moment where she cuts her hair, great, but the rest of the scene isn’t that good. (And the version with Ralph is downright disturbing.) 

Chapter 14: Jericho

Oh god let’s players cannot do this part. And the amount of time I’ve spent watching people run around clueless because they weren’t paying even the slightest attention or follow the obvious path, makes me hate this chapter. I also hate it because the gameplay isn’t very interesting. Markus’ precog is mildly interesting, but that’s really it. (The end of this chapter has some pretty stunning visuals tho)

Chapter 15: The Nest

Ok, the opening conversation with Hank is cute if Connor is trying to be nice. Though the actual chase is pretty tense. The music is on point as always, because the composers for this game were very overqualified for the job. Also the fact that you get punished for not saving Hank both amuses and vexes me. You don’t catch the guy because you were a shitty partner. But what was the point of taking the risk with Hank if there’s no reward? (Yes I know he still ends up in evidence lock up but that’s hardly reward enough for risking your partner’s life)

I mean okay the pigeons flying through the roof is pretty funny, but the investigation in the apartment isn’t all that interesting. Also I’ve just realised I haven’t mentioned the Zen Garden once but honestly most of the scenes there aren’t that interesting anyway.

Chapter 16: Time To Decide

Wow where do I start on how uninteresting this chapter is. You learn very little about Markus’ companions, you get to have a conversation with a magical minority, and you get a line about an android being dragged behind the back of a car. (After reading the wiki about James Byrd I feel genuinely sick and could not be more disgusted that this was used so clumsily in the game.)

Chapter 17: Zlatko

His name sounds like a brand. Also this is my least favourite Kara chapter. They go to his place for almost no reason (just so they can get caught) and we get a 20 minute scene of Zlatko being a cartoonish monster of a man. Also this has been pointed out and now I can’t stop thinking about it. Why is Kara scared of Luther when she sees him? Like...??? Anyway re-finding her memories is boring, finding Alice is also boring, and hiding from Zlatko is just stressful. Nothing interesting to the story happens here, except that Luther joins Kara and Alice.

Chapter 18: Russian Roulette 

Perhaps the shortest chapter in the game. It’s not like...super boring, but it’s not interesting either. Also don’t forget to notice the picture on the table or you’ll have no chance of getting the good ending later! Seriously, they should have made it a requirement for the scene to move on if it’s going to be that important.

Chapter 19: Spare Parts

The whole freerunning thing at the start is lame. And the fact that you have to grab the android and then release him to get the best outcome is confusing as hell. (I have seen many folks fuck this up.) The part where you sneak around in the guard house is actually kind of cool. Also North go down if you’re nice to people....I love this game.

Chapter 20: The Eden Club

Pity the lesbian sexworker androids!!! In all seriousness though this is a chapter I do not like. The endings are unfulfilling, the whole storyline is gross, poorly written and very Cage-esque. (Also why would you make the two android lovers the same model?! Just make one of them one of the other 8 female WR800 models you have!) I mean I guess I can say that the glowly design of the sexclub is nice or whatever.

Chapter 21: Pirate’s Cove

Ok this is a personal one but I don’t like this chapter. Something about the family dynamic between the three falls flat for me and so the whole scene being about them makes it...ehh. Also Kara under threat again! Woohoo! The scene on the carousel is kind of cute and the scene composition is nice, but the fact that all the Jerrys are standing around watching is a little weird. Also bait us with rA9 crap why don’t you! we’ll just never learn anything about this i guess

Chapter 22: The Bridge

I like this chapter to be honest. I know Pirate’s Cove is meant to be relaxed but I find this chapter more relaxing. Even if it ends with a gun to Connor’s head. I mean it’s not that hard to not get shot really. And seeing Hank start to care and question their mission is interesting. I don’t know, I guess I just like the visuals of the snow and the bridge. (Anyone notices that it goes from raining to snowing like three days later, wtf)

Chapter 23: The Stratford Tower

Now this one is complicated. Because I like the breaking in and getting up to the broadcast department part, I even like the pre-speech tension. Markus carrying the weight of history and knowing his words will shape what people across the world think of androids. 

The music as he gets ready to start the speech is....just so good. But then he starts talking and.....mmmmm press x for civil right yes please! Press square to end slavery? Absolutely! God...the writing in this scene is Bad. Which is a shame! Because it squanders the carefully crafted tension built up until this point. I like the energy going into this scene, the idea that they’re about to take a stand, make history. But it is unfortunately ruined for the sake of a poorly executed racism allegory.

Chapter 24: Public Enemy

Ok, going to investigate the crime scene of what you just did as Markus is pretty good. Its not an original idea, that was the opening sequence for Indigo Prophecy, but it still works I’m not going to lie. Also the cop from the Hostage showing up to thank you if you saved him is cute. The fact that Hank is starting to question Connor and look for signs of deviancy in him is also nice! Also I hate it but going after Simon gives you a more cohesive storyline if you’re going for a deviant Connor route. (Can I get an F for Simon? He can die so many different ways)

Chapter 25: Midnight Train

Can’t believe that the chapter about the underground railroad is literally called Midnight Train. Yeah the dialogue in this? Shocking, terrible, absolutely unforgivable. Rose I am so sorry this happened to you. Also a cop arrives to....put Kara in peril at the hands of a male character again! Can’t go a chapter without that!

Chapter 26: Capitol Park

Hmmmmmmmmm. ‘We have a dream’? ‘I can’t breathe, but I’m still alive’? Hi, yes, hello? David Cage is doing it again, yeah he’s co-opting black history for his story about androids, somebody needs to stop him. Why did no one stop him.  

Ok, most of this chapter other than that is ok. It’s not particularly good, but it’s ok. (wiLL yOu bE gOoD oR eViL?!?!1)

Chapter 27: Meet Kamski

Ok this man is so creepy and emotionally manipulative and as a narrative tool I’ve actually come to love it. Like the tone of this chapter is such a breath of fresh air. Maybe it’s just the fact that they added a new character after such a long time and that he knows more than he ever lets on. rA9 baited again...

Also this is Connor’s turning point in a way. You can still choose to change your path later on, but this is the real moment of truth where a character pushes him to reveal where he’s at. (Also the fucking MUSIC)

Chapter 28: Freedom March

Oh no. I’m so sorry Markus you deserve better. I hate this chapter if you can’t tell. The combo of the black history slogans and the jesus music is too much for me. Also the good ending is locked behind Simon being alive/Spare Parts success route??? Also F for that random android who’s name is John that we hear about twice.

Chapter 29: Last Chance, Connor

I usually keep a low profile with Gavin so I miss out on the beatdown unfortunately. But having the option is hilarious. If you don’t sacrifice at the march, Simon is alive, interrogation bad end, Rupert and the Tracis escape....can you even find Jericho?

Just a thought, anyway this is short but tense chapter. Don’t hate it.

Chapter 30: Crossroads

Kara’s part of this is dumb as hell. The Alice twist literally destroys the storyline but anyway...

Markus has very little to do until the end. His version is ok, but Jesse’s line delivery leaves something to be desired. (You’re one of us....)

Connor’s is easily the most interesting of the three concurrent stories at this point. Going in to capture Markus/North, chasing them through the hold if ur a machine..very good. 

And....going deviant. Okay yes that still gets me, I did actually shout YES!! out loud the first time I witnessed it. The music’s slow build in the scene, and most of the dialogue (if you choose carefully) swells to this point and...and..it happens!! 

Like idk I’ve only been slowly building up to this for 9 hours, sue me.

Chapter 31: Night Of The Soul

I like this chapter! Or Markus’ version anyway. Connor’s...well the Hank version is just sad. The Jericho version is fine.

But Markus? Visiting Carl’s grave or the man himself is such an emotional moment for the character. And the single humanising moment he’s had in several chapters. The conversation is so weighted with his doubts and fears and Jesse Williams gives a beautiful performance! (Also as I’ve said, the alarm system saying ‘welcome home markus’ kills me on impact)

Chapter 32: Battle For Detroit

Is a good chapter. What, did you expect me to say it isn’t? Cause it is. Or some versions of it are.

The tension in all three characters stories, regardless of which version, is perfectly hit at this point.

Kara’s....ah fuck idk I mean the border version is ok? The others....kind of suck? The guy letting them through with high public opinion and Markus doing a peaceful demonstration is kind of cute and sort of makes sense in a way.

Markus’ versions (both in which he is alive) are pretty cool. The revolution is hard, and I do like that it ends with him saying that they haven’t won, they’ve only started a war. The demonstration is kind of dumb, and I actually prefer them getting shot and then the news anchors suggesting that maybe androids are people in their own right that humans refused to acknowledge. (Feels more real, ya know?) Also black folk song!! Why??

Gonna be real, most of Connor’s versions of this scene are pretty good. Cyberlife tower is tense as hell but he’s a fucking badass. Machine Connor on the roof gives us the best line in the game. ‘What’s up lieutenant, ran out of whiskey so you came here looking for trouble?’  

So that’s some of my thoughts on each of the chapters of dbh, I could go into more depth but my eyes hurt and I’ll probably hit post limit soon.

[atlantisdaysandmore]

"What have I gotten myself into. . ?"

As promised, I will now blabber about my new AU which is an unholy mash of American Gods-esque AU, Good Omens-esque AU and Crime AU. So, this'll be darker than AD but still gonna be as fun.

Okay, so the Titans here are more or less literal deities and spirits, like from American Gods and Good Omens. They used to be powerful but years of not being worshipped and sacrificed to have weakened them however, some Titans, like the ones in the main cast, have found. . . Unsavoury but efficient ways of staying alive and getting sacrifices.

There are also different versions of the Titans around the globe. There is an American Gojira, a Japanese Mosura, a German Ghidorah Trio, an English Rodan, an African Anguirus, etc. It's not that they're all different aspects of the same person, but in some cases it is. It's complicated.

Connor Ray hasn't exactly been doing well lately. First of, he and his family get into a car accident that kills his adoptive brother and sends hus adoptive dad on a downward spiral which results in his adoptive parents' divorce. Then he accidentally gets into a fight with some jerks but because the law seems to hate him, he's the one that ends up getting arrested and stuck with the most annoying cellmate (for a guy named Kevin Goldman, he ain't exactly bright ) for three years. Then he finally gets out of prison and finds out his mom is missing.

His only hope of finding her? A tired yakuza boss named Mr. Jira who might have an idea on where she might be, all Connor has to do is just be his errand boy and he'll help. . . Yet, a man, who is apparently Goldman's brother, named Mr. Hydra (Why they have different surnames, Connor doesn't know) also seems to know where his mother is and claims his other brother named Mr. King knows, too. But honestly? Connor just wants this to be over so he and his family can be close to normal again.

The Apocalypse is coming and everyone is just waiting for the top two Apex Titans, Gojira and Ghidorah, to duke it out. The titans are ready to pick sides and fight to the death though, two moth siblings aren't looking forward to it. Oh and the Antichrist has been misplaced.

Meanwhile, Maddison Russel is trying to live a normal life but it's been pretty hard ever since Andrew died. She tries to make things work though and well, even though her mom is missing, at least her brother's there and - oh hey, that's a neat, if weird-looking dog. Oh well. It's her dog now. Also, why does Maddie have powers now?

The Cast (so far):

Connor Ray - a young man who just wants to get his life back on track but well, it's pretty hard when your mom's missing. Aloof and quiet but helpful and reliable. Has little tolerance to nonsense and dumbassery but well, he has to learn to be more tolerant when since the people he's working with aren't exactly the most orderly and the sanest of people. Has wanted to strangle at least one of those said people at least once

Maddison Russel - a young girl who's trying her best to make things work in a bad situation. Sure, one of her brothers is dead, her parents are divorced, the other brother was in jail and her mom is now missing but hey, at least her brother's released and her dad's at AA and getting better so there's a chance that they can be a happy family. Though, ever since her birthday and getting a new dog, weird things have been happening around her. . . And she may be the cause. . .

Naaaah.

Mr. Jira - Apex Titan and the Terror of the Deep. While still respected and fear amongst his fellow titans, Jira became a nobody to the humans. . . That is until he decided to get involved in the Japanese Underground. He's done a lot of questionable stuff and dangerous jobs in order to climb the ranks and also appease himself, some he prefers not to disclose. Hell, you can even say he has some regrets but you can't be too sure. Now a leader of his own gang, Jira is now one of the most feared men in Japan, even if he's still a man of mystery and unpredictability. However, one thing that's for sure is that he is a man of his word. . . As long as Connor fulfills his end of the deal.

Miss Luna - Beta Titan and Goddess of Infant Island. Luna is a seemingly sweet lady who runs charities, a hospital and an orphanage but she also does a couple of unsavory things like murder to keep herself and her brother, Battra, alive. She doesn't like doing this, hell, it's something she deeply regrets, to be honest but well, one must make some sacrifices to survive, both figuratively and literally. She cares deeply about everyone and Connor is no exception and well, she can't help but worry about him and well, it doesn't help that she's suspicious on what her husband is planning. In her eyes, Connor isn't ready yet. He's far too young to be a part of whatever scheme Fate has in store. She was the one assigned to keep an eye on the AntiChrist. . . Except she lost her and has been watching the wrong girl for years. For some reason, though, Mr. Jira isn't even the least bit mad at her for it.

Mr. De Avila - Beta Titan and Fire Demon. De Avila went through many hurdles which he managed to overcome them and survive with a smug grin on his face so being forgotten by humans is just another challenge for him to overcome and so far, he'd like to say that he's doing a good job at that. A freelance assassin among other unsavoury things, he's done a lot to keep himself alive, mostly sacrificing victims to himself and Titan clients who don't want to get their hands dirty. He doesn't exactly like what he's doing nor does he hate it but as a generally scrappy and bloodthirsty person, the thrill he gets out of the hunt and the fight is something he definitely enjoys. Despite being loyal, albeit to whoever's in charge, He likes to say that he's neutral but in the grand scheme of things? He's starting to side with the Ghidorah brothers, both out of personal and practical reasons

Mr King - Apex Titan, Eldest Ghidorah Brother and Golden Demise. The most mysterious out of the three brothers, mostly since no one has seen him in a long time. Okay, so his brothers and Avila know where he is but it's not like they'll spill. Even then, guy doesn't stay in one place. Some of the few things everyone knows about him is that he's cunning and ruthless, someone who one should be cautious with. You can't be sure what he's planning. While he's the one pulling the strings, he usually has his henchmen do errands for him yet Connor has gotten his attention. Why? Connor doesn't know and he has a feeling that it's not for a good cause.

Mr. Hydra - Apex Titan, Second Eldest Ghidorah Brother and Golden Demise. The most brutal out of the brothers, Drake likes a good hunt and likes taking his time with it. He tends to act like a horror movie killer, intelligent, silent and deadly. Except he doesn't do villainous monologues. He's not much of a talker, really. However, while he can plot in he shadows with his older brother, Hydra prefers being in the field, not liking to be cooped up. Despite being the most murderous out of the brothers, he's somewhat willing to talk and can even negotiate and deal, even if he's not as charismatic as his younger brother or as smooth as his older brother but his boldness makes up for it. Though, he still has secrets hidden that he believes Connor doesn't have to know.

Mr. Goldman - Apex Titan, Youngest Ghidorah Brother and Golden Demise. The most off-putting out of the three. He's not exactly creepy in a stereotypical way but to those that don't know him, he has some sort of odd aura to him and his friendly and cheery personality isn't helping while to those that know him andd his brothers find his sunny disposition compared to his brothers' colder dispositions kind of unnerving and suspicious. Then he starts cheerfully sharing all he knows about you and oh god, how does he know that? Like his brother Hydra, he prefers being on the field though, he usually keeps to the shadows but if he wants to be caught, he let's himself be caught. I mean, that's how he found Connor, after all. As of now, from what Connor has heard, he broke out of prison some time after Connor was released and is currently catching up with late work because older siblings are jerks like that.

Mr. Blade - Delta Titan and a Living War Machine. A brutal and wild titan who, like De Avila, has gone to assassination and bounty hunting to keep himself alive though, he serves the Ghidorah brothers rather than going freelance. He finds every aspect of his job fun, the hunt, the fight, the kill, the blood, the fear, everything. Sure, he may not be the most competent or the brightest but he's still a trusted ally to the brothers and threat to Gojira. He's surprisingly friendly, though, usually having a nice conversation with you as if you were an old friend, though sometimes while attacking you. He doesn't take humans seriously, though, seeing them as easy prey and Connor is no different. Feeling's mutual, though.

Battra - Delta Titan and Nature God. You wouldn't think Battra was Miss Luna's brother as they don't look alike or act similarly. He's more rude and chaotic as opposed to his sweet and orderly sister but Battra also means well. . . Even if he doesn't do it right. He helps run the orphanage with his sister and is a wild older brother figure to the kids there but he also helps his sister with the shady stuff, mostly since both of them need to survive somehow. Doesn't care much about Connor or what Mr. Jira and the Ghidorah brothers are planning, unless they're gonna destroy the Earth or something. Was supposed to help his sister with the Antichrist except said Antichrist got misplaced so he has to go look for her whilst his sister helps Mr. Jira out.

Anguirus - Delta Titan and Right Hand of Gojira. He's a cheerful and helpful man. . . Even if he's the right hand man of the most feared man in Japan. He's a loyal man who's stuck with Mr. Jira and Miss Luna through thick and thin, even if it has almost and did kill him in the past but hey, he always gets better. Though, despite his pleasant attitude, he's still someone who isn't afraid of getting his hands dirty, especially since that's kinda his expertise. He's got to stay alive somehow, you know. He's usually there to help Connor out but these days, he's too busy helping Battra to help Connor.

And that's the AU so far but there might be changes and additions in the future, who knows. This is gonna be fun, though.

[fallish]

bird is the word (the witness, actually)

Pairing: Connor/Gavin Reed

Summary: Connor gets an animal companion, and Gavin claims that gives him disney princess privileges. Connor has no idea what Gavin is talking about. They solve a case.

AO3

As the detective arrived at the scene, Gavin noticed that despite the call for backup being just a mere two minutes ago, the precinct android detective had already made it to the scene. Connor appeared to be cupping his hands to create a two toned bird call. He put his hands down, frustrated as none of the birds seemed inclined to come near the investigation, a few seeming hesitant in the presence of all the humans.

Gavin stepped out of his car to approach the scene. “Hey, anyone wanna tell me what the emergency was here?” He approached the detective who appeared to be crouching near the front of the floral arrangements boutique. “How about you, Snow White? Wanna tell me why you need the birds? Can you do that with all the little forest creatures?” he snickered.

“No, but I can imitate many animal noises,” Connor declared as he studied the tracks in the wet soil scattered over the sidewalk again. “I am certain I can identify the person who stole your arrangements, Miss Ozwell. I need to  find the birds who were here when the perpetrator was here.” He stood, turning to face the owner of the shop before walking a few feet away from the police tape, his LED cycling yellow. “I am never going to have a chance with all the people here, though.”

Gavin raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh, tin can. What exactly are the birds going to tell you? They gonna tweet the name of our perps in your ear?” He laughed at his vision of the scenario playing out, Connor calling out for the birds and then one just squawking in his face, flying away, taking a shit somewhere inconvenient, leaving the detective android humiliated and disappointed.

“Very funny Detective Reed, however, unlike you, I have some animal handling knowledge. Also, what you just stepped over,” He gestured to the spilt soil, “is evidence, with which I can say with 98% certainty, the bird that was here when the store was robbed was hurt by whoever committed the crime. That bird is a witness, believe it or not. We can get evidence from the cameras in the store, but we can get positive identification of the criminal from the bird. It will, at minimum, buy us time to find hard evidence that whoever it was did it actually did do it.”

As he spoke, Connor already appeared to be distracted, ducking under the police tape surrounding the shop and stepping out further away from the main roads, towards the minimal tree line of a nearby park. “Detective Reed, I will meet you back at the station if you would like to stay and collect statements. Otherwise, I invite you to come find the birds with me.” He turned and began to walk away, leaving Gavin to scramble together his belongings.

He turned to the uniforms at the scene, noting that two remained. “You guys can finish up here right?” He waited for them to nod before taking off after Connor. “Take Connor’s car back, leave mine here. Wait up, princess!”

Connor was well into the area where the birds appeared to be gathering. He sat down in the grass and cupped his hands to let out a whistling tone. Delightfully, a bird landed on a branch near his spot and echoed his tune. Gavin caught up and had to stop in his tracks. The birds flocked Connor, landing on his legs, on nearby branches, and even in his hair. The incredible picture they all made was enough to keep him from interrupting and to pull out his phone to start recording.

“I can help, but I can’t until I know who’s hurt. Can you help me find them?” Connor whispered at the birds. There’s no fucking way, Gavin thought. The birds fluttered up and surrounded an uneven patch of leaves. Uncovering the small creature, Connor sighed with relief. “Thank you, little birds! Detective, we can return to the station now.”

An hour later and he still couldn’t fathom what was happening before his eyes. Gavin let his jaw open in awe. That did not happen. No way! He thought rewatching the clip on his phone while observing the crowd of uniforms peeking over at Connor’s desk. Connor literally tweeted at birds until he found the damaged one and was now nursing it back to health in the middle of their office.

“I suspect that the man who robbed the store we were looking at is the same man who has been robbing stores run by androids from the original Jericho. We have been looking into this man for a month at least.” Connor pulled up a middle aged man with patches on his head and light, but bloodshot eyes. “According to our system, he was only arrested once, a possession charge for red ice, and his sister-in-law posted his bail. DPD lost track of him. I put a notification out to all police on patrol and our friends in New Jericho. All we have to do is wait.” He smirked at Gavin and took a seat. “Case almost closed.”

Gavin rolled his eyes, “You’re allowed to say that once the guy is in jail. You said you could make that bird a witness, but I’m gonna see if we can get a warrant for wherever this guy’s is staying, if he’s even staying anywhere.” He turned to his terminal to fill out the required work. “Until this comes back, you can work on fixing that bird.”

Quite frankly, Connor had become somewhat of an attraction. In the three days it took to find the man, Connor had been carrying around a little bird in a sling around his neck. Despite the obvious difference in species, the office seemed endeared by the duo. Pictures were floating around, and even Hank was softer around the little bird by the third day.

The nickname “princess” was also catching on, but Connor seemed completely oblivious as to why it was catching on. Gavin seemed especially exasperated, having coined the name for the android. “Have you never seen a disney movie? Did CyberLife not equip you with disney movies?” Connor just shrugged. Gavin let it go for the time being.

The bird, being well enough to cause a small ruckus with its version of chirping but not well enough to fly, was given entry to the suspect lineup from beyond the mirror. For the first fifteen candidates, the bird showed little to no reaction, besides turning to Connor or Gavin and chirping curiously here and there.

Then the last five men walked in. Immediately, the bird screeched and tried to fly out of its sling. Gavin just barely managed to catch the bird before it hurt itself even worse. “Which one, little bird?” He held the bird to just the first man. Nothing. The second. Same again. The third. A shrill, piercing shriek came from between his fingers. “Okay, yep that’s our guy. ID match?”

Connor looked over his notes. “Number 562375 is indeed our primary suspect.” His little grin took up his face, “I believe I can now say, case closed.” Carefully, he took the bird back from Gavin and put it back in his sling. “I will hold on to little bird until he is fully healed.” His LED lit up yellow as he communicated the identity of the man to Jericho. “We should be covered until then. Nice work, Detective.”

Gavin shrugged, “You’re weird animal powers helped too, I guess. Speaking of animal powers, do you wanna come over some time? I can show you what I mean by disney movies. There’s a shitton of animal companions, pretty much the exact same as little bird, trust me you’ll love it. Or not. Whatever.” He rushed through the last bit. Connor was thrilled to say the least.

“Hank tells me about those all the time. Especially this week. I don’t really get it, but I would love to!” His excitement was infectious.

“Great, so Saturday?” Gavin ventured.

“It’s a date!”

End A/N: Gavin is wondering what in the world he just got himself into and it is great.

[starry19]

Not-Quite Silver Linings

AN: For my beloved Garcy Tumblr fandom, who, after screaming wildly, put on their deerstalker hats and went full-on Sherlock Holmes about who was sleeping where the night Jessica stole the Lifeboat. Conclusion: Lucy was with Flynn. We have evidence.

And then there was absolutely no way I couldn’t write this. So, here we are. Also on ao3

—

It was a full three days after they returned from San Francisco that Lucy realized how very close she had been to dying.

But not on that last, terrible mission.

It took three days for the insanity of the visit from their future selves to decrease to a level she could cope with. Three days for them to catch hold of a shred of hope when it came to how, precisely, they were going to try their highly inadvisable trip back to save Rufus. Three days for it to not hurt when she smiled.

Not that she smiled very much.

When Jiya had taken a short break from staring at computer screens, and only at Mason’s insistence that she eat real food for a change, Lucy had come to sit beside her on one of the hard metal chairs.

There were any number of conversations they could have been having, ranging from the other woman’s three years- three years- in the past to their strategies to what the current Rittenhouse headquarters looked like.

Instead, they were mostly quiet. There was a little solace in proximity, however, a sense of unity. She had meant what she said in that saloon - they were all each other had.

Jiya looked up at her once, dark eyes haunted, exhausted. “I killed a guy,” she said abruptly.

Lucy froze, cup of tea halfway to her mouth.

“When Jessica first took me,” the other woman said. “And I escaped. I killed a guy to do it.”

She nodded, because she did understand. “I killed a guy because of Rittenhouse, too,” she said.

It was a sign of how dark their lives had become, that this was a conversation they were having, with absolutely no judgement rendered on either side. They had both done what they had needed to.

Jiya took a breath and wrapped her fingers around her own mug. “I heard them talking a little bit, your mom and Jessica. Nice family you’ve got, by the way.” There was no bitterness, just a bleak touch of humor. “Jessica was supposed to kill you, that night she left. But she couldn’t find you and I guess she didn’t think she had all the time in the world to play hide and seek.”

She blinked several times in quick succession. That night seemed like it was in an entirely different lifetime. Where had she been that Jessica couldn’t find…oh.

Connor suddenly yelled for Jiya, and the other woman stood with an apologetic shrug. Lucy smiled blankly back, or at least she hoped that was the expression she was making.

The only reason she hadn’t been shot by Wyatt’s wife was that she hadn’t been able to sleep. She’d tried, made some token attempt. Had stared at the ceiling from her place on the deeply uncomfortable couch cushions. There were about a million things she could have been thinking about, but none of the subjects would stick. Instead, they had been whirling through her mind like windmills, never stopping.

She’d given up, gathered up her blanket, and knocked on a door that was now very familiar.

Garcia Flynn let her in, sleepy-eyed and amused, and she’d spent the rest of the night in between him and the wall, the regular thrum of his heartbeat beneath her ear. He was warm, steady. This was…peaceful.

At least until all hell broke loose outside the door.

But she’d had no way of knowing what was coming.

All she knew was that he felt like safety and sanity, broad shoulders and strong chest. It was no different that night than it had been the handful of times she had done this before.

He never asked any questions. Never turned her away. Never brought it up in the daytime.

Just held her, let her sleep against his chest, or talked to her until the world made a little more sense than it had.

She knew what he looked like when he was dreaming, what he smelled like, what the muscles of his stomach felt like under her palms.

She consciously tried to not think about what any of it meant. Was this about comfort or love or lust or something else entirely? Did it matter?

He was open arms.

He was safety.

Apparently literally.

There were orders out to kill her. And there had been an operative in the bunker. She must’ve walked by the door to Flynn’s room, but only an idiot would have tried it.

The mental imagery that conjured up was enough to make her shudder, goosebumps rising on her arms.

Lost in her waking nightmares, she failed to notice when Flynn appeared in the kitchen, jumping slightly when he sat across from her in Jiya’s vacated chair.

He took a single look at her expression and sat down his coffee cup. “What?” he asked, but softly, long legs stretching out beside hers under the table.

She tried to smile, to look nonchalant.

He raised an eyebrow. You’re full of shit, it said. And I know it.

Yes, that was a problem, too, how well he did actually know her. That was mostly her fault. He’d asked, once, on a dark road in the 1930s. And she’d told him, had let him in. It made it very difficult to keep secrets from him.

She shrugged. “I’ll tell you,” she said, since there really was no point in keeping it from him. “Just maybe not here?”

He glanced around pointedly, silently reminding there that there were very few people currently present, but conceded to her request with an eye roll.

They were very good at having conversations without speaking.

Safely shut away in his room again, she tried to quietly and emotionlessly repeat what Jiya had told her. His eyes got darker, and she was very glad he did not use that expression when he looked at her, ever.

When she finished, he swore very fluently in Croatian for a full minute. She could pick out a few phrases - he’d laughingly taught her a couple of curse words when she’d asked one night - but for the most part, thought it was better that she only had a vague idea of what he was saying.

“We’re going to have to move locations,” he finally said, switching back to English, though his accent was slightly stronger than it normally was. He was ferociously angry.

“Move locations?” she echoed. “Like…get a new bunker?”

He nodded. “Or safehouse, or whatever. Jessica knows how to get here, thanks to Wyatt. The last damn thing we need to worry about it them raiding us in the middle of the night.” He swore again, but quietly. “I should have thought about this the second we got back.”

“To be fair,” she said, “we all sort of had a lot on our minds.”

Like Rufus. And coming to face to face with the Rambo-esque versions of themselves. And just sheer grief. They’d all been reduced to focusing on small-term goals. Get up. Get dressed. Eat. It had been just about all they could deal with.

He spared her a glance that did not look amused, and she realized he was angry with himself, too.

She stepped forward, sliding her arms around his waist. After a slightly surprised second, he pulled her in, cheek on top of her head.

It was the first time she’d held him this way, in day time, without any sort of emergency or traumatic event in the works. At night, in the dark, it was easier to ignore the implications of what was happening between them.

But maybe she didn’t want to ignore them anymore.

The tension in him relaxed a bit, but she could still feel it - the need to move, the call to action. Garcia Flynn had been a solider since he was fifteen, and a spy after that. He didn’t take well to sitting around.

Gently, he pressed a kiss to her hair, the first time he’d done such a thing. “You are, of course, going to be staying here at night until things are more secure.” It was not a question.

She had not actually been sleeping anywhere else since they’d returned from Chinatown, battered and bruised and so far beyond heartbroken. She’d needed him then, needed him badly, and he’d been there with arms open. Well, she amended, arm open, at least until he’d gotten sick of his sling.

“Okay,” she said, quietly, and he let out a breath, one hand tracing down her spine. She closed her eyes, face in his chest, and relaxed a little herself.

The clanging of doors outside told them someone else had arrived in the bunker. Since no alarms were currently screaming, it was, by default, Agent Christopher.

Flynn stepped back, but slowly. “I need to go,” he said. “This needs to happen fast. Before we even make a play for Rufus.”

She blinked.

He was probably right, but the abruptness of it was startling.

He took in her expression, then gently touched her face. “For logistical reasons,” he told her, “you’re not going with us to save Rufus. That fourth seat has to remain open. We need a pilot, and likely all the firepower Wyatt and I can carry.” He paused for a moment, making sure she was with him. “I cannot disappear into the past for God knows how long, worried about what’s waiting for me when I get back. I’m not inclined to take risks with your safety, Lucy. Not when they can be avoided.”

Her eyes widened. God, what if…

What if the second the Lifeboat vanished, the alarms went off? Emma appeared, guns blaring?

Well, she would be dead. One more body for Flynn to find.

She turned her face up to see his, saw the very same thoughts crossing his mind. But behind the horror, and the fear, she saw an immense and terrifying blackness. She had brought him back, the last time, had believed in him until he had found his humanity again.

If she died, however…

She didn’t think there would be any coming back for him.

Garcia Flynn was darkness incarnate, and brokenness, and…hers.

Maybe, maybe he always had been, from the very first time she’d seen him, looming out of the fiery wreckage of the Hindenburg like Lucifer himself. When he’d pulled her in front of him, gun aimed at Wyatt, she’d gotten a sense of overwhelming strength. At the time, it had been terrifying.

She had the same sense now, but an entirely different reaction. He was there to protect her.

She could protect herself, and had. But it was just so very nice to know that he would do it for her.

“Okay,” she finally whispered. It was perhaps the one small source of comfort she could offer. She would promise to not take risks with her safety, beyond the ones they always took when they disappeared into nowhere, would promise to abide by the rules he set.

He nodded in acknowledgement, then gathered her in his arms again, but briefly.

With one last look backwards, he stepped out of his room. She heard him calling for Agent Christopher, and wondered if she should go lend herself to his side of the argument. Decided against it. What could she say that he wouldn’t have already thought of?

In the end, Agent Christopher had agreed wholeheartedly, as had everyone else. No one had really liked the idea of putting the search for Rufus on hold, but then again, it wasn’t like the 1800s were going anywhere.

She slept next to Flynn that night, facing him in the darkness as they both laid on their sides.

There were a few notable difference from the other times she had done this. Firstly, he’d moved the pillow to the other end of the bed, so he could face the door. When she’d figured it out, she was actually touched that he’d felt safe enough, that he trusted the team enough, to have not done it in the first place. She was sad that was all gone now.

The second major difference was that before he’d joined her on the narrow mattress, he’d methodically loaded his gun and left it in easy reach.

She’d eyed it warily from against the wall as he climbed in, taking up almost all of the available space.

He’d rolled his eyes. “You do know guns aren’t in the habit of sporadically going off, yes?”

“Yes,” she said, slowly.

He ignored her lingering trepidation, sliding one arm under her head, the other resting across her waist. It was perhaps the best thing he could have done to ease her mind. What on earth could touch her here?

With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes, burrowing as close as she could get to him.

She was mildly surprised she had managed to fall asleep, given everything that was being set in motion. Then again, perhaps she shouldn’t have been. She was in the safest place she could be, wrapped in the arms of a very armed and very vigilant Garcia Flynn.

In the morning, she kissed him for the first time, and she loved his shaking exhalation of breath as her lips moved over his, loved the spirals of pleasure that circled around her even more.

There was a part of her that always remembered that he was a dangerous man. But not to her, never.

When she raised her head, he smiled brilliantly, looking…well, awestruck, and it was difficult to not be in wonder at the effect she had on him.

Around them, she could hear the sounds of the bunker coming to life. There was a great deal to do - their meager possessions needed to be packed, computer equipment to be disassembled, and all of the general chaos that attended a sudden move.

With reluctance, she untangled herself from him. This time, she deliberately slid herself over his prone body on her way out of bed, and was delighted with what that did to his expression.

An hour later, the bunker was humming with activity. She was surrounded by boxes and cables and packing tape, and trying to not be run over by anyone rolling something large and electronic by her.

She didn’t think she was terribly regretful about leaving this place. Yes, it had been her home and some weird semblance of safety during what was probably her darkest time. But when it came down to it, it was still an old army bunker with about ten minutes worth of hot water and World War II-issue everything.

Their new place, wherever and whatever it was, probably couldn’t be worse.

Maybe it even had queen sized beds.

With that happy thought playing in her mind, she cheerfully wrote her name on the side of a box. Stacked it next to Flynn’s small pile of things.

Wherever they were going, she was sure they were going together, and that was better than nothing.

By a long shot.

[adambstingus]

Are You The One Season Finale Recap: Just Put Me Out of My Goddamn Misery (PART TWO)

Since everyone bitches and whines about how long my recaps are, I separated them into two parts. Pick up a book, you lazy pieces of shit and read part 1 here >>

Chuck is like, were not going to win so next match ceremony Im picking Britni and everyone is like Chuck and Alec start yelling at each other and having a food fight, which pisses off Alec more because hes a firm believer that you should never waste food.

Alec: WE SHOULD NEVER QUIT Chuck: Eat a dick dude

Chuck goes up to push Alec, which is a huge mistake surfer brah, and Alec shoves Chuck to the ground like hes made of paper. Alec, congrats, your ovaries have officially transformed into a small chode of a penis. Gotta start somewhere.

Britni is like You would shove Chuck, who btw looks like a Ken doll version of the lead singer of AFI, for money?! Thats some shit ONLY poor people would say. Britni, people have done way worse shit for way less money. Read a book, tune into the news, watch Empire (or read my recaps).

Rashida and Devin are like And I agree. I did not sit through 10 weeks of this retarded shit to watch yall give up.

Devin is like If I can get this fresh batch of mentally incapable humans to win this stupid fucking reality show, it would be equivalent to the greatest feat in sports history. Which sport? Speed walking? Turn on ESPN Devin, I fucking dare you.

Zak and Hannah are mourning the fact that they arent a match, and tbh, I am too.

Cheyenne is talking to Devin about how he is disrespectful and is like

Devin: (actual quote) Im a shit head, but not a total shit head. – I honestly dont even need to try and be funny for these recaps, they all say enough stupid shit where I dont even have to try.

THE GAME

Chuck is like, I was hammered last night and said dumb shit and Im going to actually play this thing. Thank god Chuck, otherwise I seriously would have cunt punted you, and your little dog too! (Britni)

The game is the easiest one of the season: its an obstacle course with girls sitting on their back. There is a true/false section, where if the team guesses it right, then they get 30 seconds off their time.

Zak and Kayla are in first, which is crazy because Zak might be the smallest out of all of them. Alec is terrible with this shit and is back to being a giant bitch.

Melanie and Tyler go to the true or false thing, where Mel admits she offered Chuck a threesome, which is a new low.

Kayla and Zak win, being the Italian stallions. Rashida and Devin get second and Mel/Tyler get third because they answered the question right- aka, Mel is a closeted freak.

Stacey is talking to Nelson about how she has no idea who her match is and shes talking so fast I could have sworn it was a Gilmore Girls episode. You can def tell Stacey is fucking hammered in this, but its cool. I love Stacey. And apparently so does Nelson. Okay whatever.

Meanwhile, Alec is flirting with Amanda and Kiki is like WTF. Which is literally her reaction to everything- WTF.

THE DATE

Theyre hanging out on fucking boat that doesnt even have a bar. That sounds like some Life of Pi shit.

Devin and Rashida are flirting and shes like except this shitty white guy with a butt chin.

Zak and Kayla are like you remind me of my family so they must be a match- some fucking Freudian shit right there. Chelsey the aspiring psychologist is probably fucking creaming her pants somewhere in the distance.

Tyler and Melanie are like, were besties and Tyler thinks thats code for match but Mel was like,

THE TRUTH BOOTH

The group makes a smart decision for once ,(they probably all broke out in hives afterwards because we all know they are allergic to brainpower), and send Zak and Kayla to the truth booth. Hannah is like Hannah save the stupid lines for Hunter please, babe.

Zak and Kayla make their way to the truth booth, looking like a set of fraternal twins walking into their grandmas 90th birthday. Not gonna lie, Im stressed right now. Im on bottle number 2 of wine, and shit is REAL rn.

Results are in and- THEYRE A PERFECT MATCH! YAAAAAAASSSS.

Everyone is screaming and jumping while Hannah is like, . Its okay Hanz, its not like these matches are real. Those rules arent even real! They were real that day I wore a vest!

Alec and Kiki are flirting and they are drunk AF and Kiki is like Shes talking about how she got stupid fucking matching bracelets for her perfect match and Im like

Devin is doing his shit math again using red solo cups, I feel like an algebra class is being taught in a frat house. Aka this shit is dumb AF.

They determine there are two scenarios- one where Kiki mtches with Alec, and one where she doesnt. Guess which one best friends forever bracelet Kiki wants?

The decide to use deductive reasoning and rationality.

Jk, they decide to flip a fucking coin. I CANT RIGHT NOW WITH YOU PEOPLE. Hunter is like Here is a quarter and ew, I dont trust anyone who has change offhand like that. Get a fucking debit card, you hillbilly fuck.

Kiki is upset because they get scenario one, but you know if the coin flipped for the scenario she wanted shed be like PERFECT! ITS ALL SETTLED, THIS COIN IS HOLY.

Tyler is like, Fuck your heart Tyler, fuck it. Austin is like WOAH you need to figure this shit out. Like I dont mean to sound aggressive, but if you fuck us all over were probs gonna stab you.

Never did I ever think that the game would rest in Tylers hands. Take a drink to that.

THE FINAL MATCH UP CEREMONY

Devin is like, there is a high possibility we lose- not high, almost definite. But he thinks they chose scenario one for a reason, that reason being a coin flip.

Ryan gives some speech about love and how they need it and its like, save it Ryan. Empire comes on in 20 minutes and I need to get this show on the road.

Austin is first and he picks Britni– basing it off the fact that he wanted a girlfriend who would be a ghost for most of their relationship and they would get together eventually when it was convenient. You know what thats called? A fuckbuddy. You came on a reality show to find a fuckbuddy. May I suggest Tinder next time?

Hunter is next, and Ryan is like, do you all have a strategy? And hes like clearly fate isnt on our side, so we decided to do a coin flip. So, fates not on your side, and you decided to rely on it again? Seems legit.

Ryan is like, And Connor and Chelsey are like

Hunter picks Hannah, which is a weird match but whatever I dont care anymore. Im gonna be honest, this whole season I thought Hunter was secretly gay.

Devin is up next and he picks Rashida. Rashida, girl, I have been praying for you. Clearly I am a sinner because my prayers have not been well received. My b.

Tyler is up next and were all on edge. Hes like I think Melanie is my match truly and this is the biggest plotline he has had all season, so hes rollin with it. Tyler ends up picking Cheyenne, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Alec picks Amanda, and Kiki is like WTF (again). What is she gonna do with her bracelet?!!!!

Nelson picks Stacey and RyDev is like, And shes like, Okay, thatll work. Cant wait for an invite to the wedding.

Chuck is up next and gives an inspiring speech. Well, it would be inspiring if he wasnt talking to a band of idiots who put their fate in a coin toss and if he didnt look like a homeless folk singer.

Chuck picks Melanie. Shes like, well this sucks because well never date because hes still fucking Brittni. Maybe you can get that threesome you wanted, skank.

Kiki is last, and ends up alone, well, because her match is Mike. #tbt to Mike. LOL. She shows those bracelets to Ryan and Ryan tries so hard not to fucking vomit on her. Kiki is like I am not confident at all Mike is my match and honestly, ditto.

The beams and RyDevs dramatic hand motions begin. They get 4 beams, which they have never gotten before, so #progress..They get a 5th, then a 6th, then a 7th. Everyone is on edge as fuck, and I am stunned into complete silence at home. Even my boyfriend, who has migrated out of the room is whispering no fucking way to himself. Idk if he is saying that because hes surprised Im silent for once, or surprised that they just might actually win.

They get 8 OMG, They literally need one more to win the fucking game. Im shaking.

THEY GOT TEN BEAMS! THEY WIN THE FUCKING GAME.

MIRACLES HAPPEN (queue song from The Princess Diaries)

MTV IS THE LAND OF DREAMS

IM CRYING

IM SCREAMING, I FEEL THINGS

Okay, Im back. Wow Im hammered. So its made clear- either MTV is a magical place where miracles prevail, or this shit is staged AF. I mean, we all saw The Hills.

Wow, thats it for this season and this truly unique group of escaped mental patents. Thanks for reading, even though, lets be honest- I made your shitty Thursdays infinitely better. And to the cast who read and tweeted me, thanks for having a thick skin. Low key surprised I havent received a death threat from Britni by now. Good luck existing in the real world, you all are sure gonna need it. And if youre ever in California, come buy me a beer, because god knows I deserve one for putting up with your shit.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-season-finale-recap-just-put-me-out-of-my-goddamn-misery-part-two/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/178560286887

[survivor-hosts]

Ep. #7: “C’mon Rat, Follow the Cheese” - Jessy

The tribes merged and all of the pre-mergers were added to the merge tribe as the Karma Island twist was revealed.  The players started campaigning to get back in and Cat, Austin, and Drew chose to drop out and become voters.  After a whole day of scrambling and a messy voting situation, Connor was voted back into the game.  The tribe was given their first immunity challenge and Matt was able to solve it and win immunity quite quickly.  After no one talked the day before the vote, the players started scrambling last minute with one side trying to decide whether to vote off Sam or MJ while the opposing side was trying to decide between Allison or Connor.  In the end, MJ and Sam's alliance threw their votes on Andrew to thwart any posisble idol play.  Sam also used her vote negator to cancel Allison's vote for MJ.  Andrew was sent home in a 5-4 vote.

HAHAHAHAHA so it's 9:58 and I should go to tribal and I was on call with Connah and then Lydia and MJ called and added Connah and MJ told me I might be getting votes so I might be getting voted out idk adios fuck this shit!

Can't wait to be seventh boot

[12:51:33 PM] mj ultra . _/: bih wtf. [12:51:39 PM] connah. i guess.: I didn't do anything. [12:51:40 PM] mj ultra . _/: oh you really wanna fight me tonight huh yes bitch i do. yes we are in a partnership but i'm not your bitch. i'm not gonna sit here and do everything you want but it's fine because people will hopefully see you as a bigger threat so if they gonna try take one of us out... can't say i'm too sorry about it. his ass wants to sit here and vote lydia back when we literally just voted her out? i see where he's coming from because we might be able to use lydia tbh but he's literally shutting down any ideas i had so i'm kinda angry rn.

mj's gameplay has really rubbed off on me... my ass just blindsided lydia and now i'm really down for voting her back in? i had my fun pre-merge but now it's time to really get this shit going

http://prntscr.com/fn4qxy http://prntscr.com/fn4r1v At first I thought Connor would have the highest chance of returning but after hearing a few things I think REGAN has the best shot??? When and how did that happen?

Hmmmmm I'm feeling really weird in this tribe. It's as if I don't belong.....That's the vibe I'm getting. Whatever. I'm sticking to my strategy of not talking to people. Hey it worked TWICE and got me to the end twice. It works. People come to me with information at once. I hope I can pull it off again.

so like I mighta just made a chat with myself Scott jessy Allison josh and Connor to save Connor bc David was a bust. Highkey still don't trust Scott and sam Matt mj and connah are trying for Lydia and I'm like no fuck off? When the phone battery goes down my chaotic gameplay goes up. Like idc whomstve is gonna be pissed i am GETTING Connor in this game. Drew and cat should have sacrificed themselves for him too so here's to fucking hoping. If Lydia comes in I'm dead straight up gay up!

push me to the edge i wish i was dead why is scott a snake scott u little snake push me to the edge i wish i was dead lydia im the wrong connor please stop making my life harder push me to the edge mask off, task off back off, mask off i dont really care that im crying but i really care that youre lying edge dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun mask off, task off

i have lost all my motivation. i am a shell of a man i used to be

i am fucked. if i somehow get out of this mess i got myself into it would be a miracle.

Okay it's time for my second confessional because it's getting really hard dealing with these people and I need to vent. Like I really cannot.

After the Lydia vote off succeeded I tried to do major damage control with Matt and Scott. They both seemed to understand but I know they don't trust me anymore. Iit's not like they even realistically did. Maybe Matt did, but his reaction really shows his game. Scott seems to think he can snake his way around the two alliances but I'll bring up that later in this confessional. Anyways, it's announced that Karma Island is in play and immediately I'm worried. I fell into a position where I had to lead on Connor, David and Regan all at once because I legitimately had no idea who I wanted to return. I received information from Scott that MJ was on call with Sam and Lydia. They were

[4:26:26 AM] Jessy: i have some tea ladies! [4:27:05 AM] Jessy: So Scott is playing both sides. [4:27:09 AM] Jessy: and MJ/Connah/Josh are too. [4:27:21 AM] Jessy: MJ wants me to stay so he can use me for next tribal to get Sam out.. [4:27:26 AM] Jessy: But sis he has another thing coming. [4:29:43 AM] Jessy: sam acts like a 4 year old [4:29:47 AM] Jessy: "jessy probs just wants all of us on jury bc we're the ppl who knew her pregame so we'd give her our jury votes" [4:29:52 AM] Jessy: she said this [4:29:57 AM] Jessy: like no i want u on prejury [4:29:58 AM] Jessy: zzksjksksks [4:42:41 AM] Jessy: mj and connah rlly think they're so smart huh [4:42:42 AM] Jessy: like ur not. [4:42:42 AM] Jessy: BKLMASDFMKLDSMKLA [4:42:46 AM] Jessy: i literally know what ur doing [4:43:03 AM] Jessy: this is ur mo mj... [4:43:05 AM] Jessy: ur forcing myself into a situation where i have to go w/ him b/c my numbers are cut. [4:44:25 AM] Jessy: Like I know he's pitting me against Samatthew by telling me this information [4:44:29 AM] Jessy: But like.. [4:44:37 AM] Jessy: Damn they're literally Spencer and Tasha [4:52:02 AM] Jessy: I'm reading their games to filth. [8:18:39 AM] Jessy: me again [8:21:05 AM] Jessy: God why'd i tell connor i heard his name [8:21:06 AM] Jessy: LSJLSSKKSKS [9:52:09 AM] Jessy: SCOTT IS SUCH A FUCKING LIAR [9:59:32 AM] Jessy: time to get reads [9:59:35 AM] Jessy: and intel! [9:59:41 AM] Jessy: im legit gonna interrogate him idc [10:01:03 AM] Jessy: Nancy Drew who???? [10:01:16 AM] Jessy: im GETTING the dirt. [10:01:24 AM] Jessy: spill the beans! [10:01:50 AM] Jessy: seeing Scott is typing... answering my questions is so funny [10:01:57 AM] Jessy: Like ur nervous huh sis [10:03:32 AM] Jessy: does scott really think ill eat the bullshit hes putting out for me on a platter rn? [10:03:37 AM] Jessy: Like bitch what the fuck LAKSKSKKSKS [10:08:25 AM] Jessy: OK SCOTT IS LYING OUT OF HIS ASS [10:08:29 AM] Jessy: IM SICK OF IT [10:08:35 AM] Jessy: HOW DOES MJ KNOW U WERE HIGH THEN [10:08:44 AM] Jessy: LIKE UGH !!! [10:09:53 AM] Jessy: ok sam could've told mj! [10:09:57 AM] Jessy: interesting! [10:14:37 AM] Jessy: mj and scott together ? conspiracy theory ? [10:18:18 AM] Jessy: Oh yeah, I also found out last night that josh did vote for Lydia, but Connah switched his vote from Lydia to Connor and Trevor wouldn't allow him to change it back [10:18:26 AM] Jessy: i thought sam was being distant huh scott [10:20:12 AM] Jessy: There's holes in this scheme. [10:22:32 AM] Jessy: "Same" [10:22:34 AM] Jessy: keh [10:22:51 AM] Jessy: guess i'm done here. [10:23:51 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: I'm samatthew [10:24:27 AM] Jessy: theyre literally spencer and tasha [10:24:32 AM] Jessy: mj is a cheap version of jeremy [10:26:00 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Who are you [10:26:45 AM] Jessy: i wanna say kelley but i don't wanna be cocky like matt

This is a recap on what happened before the Karma Vote. One reason is so that I can look back on it and the other is for Connor to read in the future. This is 100% what happened. Lydia made her pitch to me around noon yesterday and she had made valid points and I wouldn't mind her being back but my vote is locked to Connor at that point though I was still willing to listen to her so I can get info out of her. I messaged Connah a little later and he said he was going to vote Lydia back in so I had an inkling that something's up but shrugged it off because there's no way Lydia's coming back it's just not in the numbers. I went to bed and woke up at 6am with a bunch of messages and one of them was Lydia asking to call. I told her I only woke up randomly and was planning on sleeping a little bit more. I didn't know the vote was due at 8 and I woke up 30 minutes before the deadline. Jessy messaged me asking if MJ had come up to me and asked if Lydia's being voted back in and I said no because MJ and I haven't talked yet. A little while, Andrew messaged me asking who to vote and I said Connor and then I got added to the Saving Connor chat with Scott, Jessy, Allison and Connor. What surprised me the most is why Scott is there. I didn't understand. Next, MJ messaged me asking for my vote so that we can tie between Lydia and Connor. Now the thing is, I told them I would vote whatever they want to but my vote is locked to Connor unless they absolutely needed it because they're the two people I trusted the most in this game. And they really did need it. I went on call with Connor and told him that everyone's pulling my leg getting me to vote with them and then got on call with Connah making his case to me with Lydia and Lydia's on my pms making her case again and Scott and I were trying to figure out how we're going to go and mind you this is literally 5 minutes before the deadline and at that point everyone thought we could change votes. I was freaking out everyone was talking to me at the same time I felt very pressured that I just asked Scott to make a decision for me and he won't decide for me and Connah just started to tell me VOTE LYDIA VOTE LYDIA and without hesitation I changed. Now obviously that didn't fall through because Connor came back and he found out I changed my vote. Now he doesn't want to speak to me and probably burned my bridge with him and idk about the status of our friendship right now. I spilled so much critical information on Connor and if we went our separate ways and uses those against me then I'm fucked. I mentioned to Connor how I wanted to target Jessy because of how good she is and if that gets back to her than she's going to turn on me. My hope is that MJ, Sam, Scott, Connah and Matt form a 6 person alliance to get past this round. This game is taking a toll on me emotionally and I've been struggling to play since the first few days. I wasn't like this before. It isn't worth it. It's not worth it to lose a friendship over this. It's easy to say that you need to cut ties and turn the heart off but doing it for real is different. Connor, my explanation is probably something you did not want to hear and it's probably going to re-open wounds once this game is over because looking back on it now, the decision was stupid. It didn't have to be that way but I gave in because of pressure.

Honestly.... I just feel so defeated. I don't see myself really doing as great as I would have wanted to in this game, which is such a pessimistic way to think but its true. Like if I were to be going home tomorrow I wouldn't even care that I didn't make the jury. A lot just went down these past few days that made me realize why I retired in the first place. So to really go back, Lydia was blindsided. Not surprised that it happened cause I knew something fishy was going on, but surprised that out of everyone I was the most left out of the loop. Like no one bothered to tell me that the vote was getting split between Allison and Andrew. Like when Lydia left Jessy and Andrew had me on call and explained everything to me and why they did what they did. And like I'm really not mad at them for doing so. I think it was amazing on their part that they pulled it off. They told me how MJ and Connah were really wanting to get Lydia out, which caught me by surprise cause I thought they were really close. Afterwards, Sam gets me on call and is worried about what could happen in the future and who we have with us. And to my surprise, Matt Summers actually talked strategy with me for the first time. The story I got from them was that Jessy approached them and got them involved with voting Lydia. To make matters worse, we have to vote someone back into this game thanks to Karma Island. And I feel like this is gonna make things so much worse cause I'm starting to realize I only have myself in this game. Idk like in Maluku flipping was easy cause I had Maria and Mattica who I trusted more than anyone. I don't really trust anyone in this game, so it makes everything 10x worse. Connor talked to me and told me he doesn't hold that against me, and idk part of me really thinks if he IS going to come back, I need to vote him so I can prove to him that I can be someone he can actually work with later on. Especially with MJ/Connah/Sam/Matt being a sinking ship, I just feel like I need to find other resources when I need to. Plus the only person I trust in that group is Sam, and after hearing that MJ has wanted me out of this game for awhile now I don't see why I need to stick my neck out for them. That whole voting process was such a mess because I really didn't know what to do with all of that. Like I voted for Connor cause I was sure he was getting in, then Josh comes to me and says he didn't know what to do. Which like RIP cause I thought he already voted, and to make matter worse he told lydia and lydia went off on me in the pms. And like, the fact that this all went down when I was out with friends just made me realize that I'm too invested in this game and that I left for a reason. Idk the only reason why Connor is back is because Connah changed his vote and wasnt allowed to switch back. I'm just annoyed cause I'm really fucked in this game to the point of no return. And like Sam and them are trying to make sure I'm gonna vote with them but with Lydia out and the only person on that side i actually consider an ally being Sam, it just makes sense for me to go through with what I've been wanting to do for awhile and flip with Jessy and Andrew.

"fifth vote... lydia"

what the fuck is going on why is no one talking to me. fucking hell man, and then im gonna wake up again and have a shit ton of messages waiting for me when i check my phone. everything's happening at the very last minute in this game omg.

YALL TRIBAL IS  11 HOURS AWAY I DONT KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO AND IM GONNA BE ASLEEP IN 9 OF THOSE HOURS. FUCK IT.

you know how it'd be fun if i just go ghost the whole morning tomorrow lkfjskjdfhskjfs *deletes Skype*

OKA Y BUT S ERIOUSLY im sick and tired of waking up in the morning where a plan has already been made and i have no say in it. fuck it a guy needs his sleep its yalls fault for not making a plan during our off day ! btw if i get voted out tomorrow im gonna be salty af trevor why did you have to have the first merge boot not a jury member i dont want to miss out on JURY! !!!!!

everyone is getting on my god damn nerves TODAY !

On 25/06/2017, at 8:30 PM, connor wrote: > hi background music plays: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpLU8BI02wQ

Okay so I just laid out all the info I got today. I talked to Scott this morning I said does he know for sure Sam has a vote negator or is it a hunch? He said it was a hunch and he doesn't really know, so I got sus. He was high last night so maybe he let it slip MJ told me that Scott was high last night so I wanted to find a way to vertify what he said about Scott/Sam/Matt/MJ/Connah being all on a group call [6/24/2017 10:09:30 AM] Jessy: did you tell anyone you were high LMAOOOOO i'd be so non functional if i was high and game talking [6/24/2017 10:09:40 AM] Scott: I mean I told sam It's possible that Scott is either lying about him telling Sam specifically, or Sam just told MJ that Scott was high and he happened to tell me this He said this when I asked him about the Sam call: [6/24/2017 9:51:38 AM] Jessy: did anything important come out of the sam call [6/24/2017 9:51:58 AM] Scott: Honestly it just made me realize that she doesn't trust me [6/24/2017 9:52:17 AM] Jessy: fuck! [6/24/2017 9:52:25 AM] Scott: She asked me what my relationship was with you [6/24/2017 9:53:05 AM] Scott: And if I actually trusted you cause you're known to be deceiving for "organizing the whole Lydia vote and misting MJ/Connah" [6/24/2017 9:53:48 AM] Jessy: :$ would be me if i actually did! [6/24/2017 9:54:07 AM] Jessy: r they voting me [6/24/2017 9:54:25 AM] Scott: I mean we never got around to actually talking about it [6/24/2017 9:54:32 AM] Jessy: oh okay [6/24/2017 9:54:39 AM] Jessy: who do you think she would go for [6/24/2017 9:55:32 AM] Scott: But I wouldn't be surprised if that's what they were wanting to do cause sam really just kept mentioning how I felt about you [6/24/2017 9:57:03 AM] Jessy: that's offputtig [6/24/2017 9:57:08 AM] Jessy: *offputting [6/24/2017 9:58:02 AM] Scott: Yeah, but it's just really clear that damage was done last night so I'm not even sure what's gonna be happening from here on out It made me think that I'm unsure if Scott is just lying about the call or if MJ is just trying to come up with a scenario for me to think is happening so I won't pull any moves. Then, I talked to MJ about the vote and he said that he was going to be on a road trip today so he's probably asleep by now. I talked to Connah about the game while MJ was online and while we were talking about the whole thing of us being on different sides, MJ pmed me. He said he pmed me because Connah sent him a funny quote about a joke I made. Then, I asked him if Connah sent him any game logs. The game logs were about us being on different sides in the Lydia/Connor returnee vote and then he kept on acting like he didn't know who was going to go because no one was talking to him. I asked him if Sam would be a vote he would want, and he said it depends if we have the numbers. He said I have to convince Allison+Andrew+Connor myself because he doesn't want to get himself involved in something controversial this tribal council after last round. I asked MJ about this, and he said Connah specifically said: "idk if I wanna stick with jessy or go with sam" "like I'm just confused" This made me paranoid, because I didn't know if Connah meant "stick with jessy" as a vote or "go with sam" as a vote. It's possible that MJ made it look like he meant regarding alliances and not a vote off, but it still made me paranoid. MJ then told me Connah went on call with Sam. MJ said he asked Connah what was going on and they were just talking about who they wanted to go. MJ said they both leaned towards Connor leaving. MJ then said Connah thought he should go with Sam (as in alliances). MJ said he would try to convince him to "string me along" next round and use me to vote Sam off. MJ then said if Sam convinced Connah to vote for me, he would try to convince him to go after Sam this round. MJ said he would prefer Connor to go now and Sam next round, but he's willing to consider it by starting it off with a conversation with Connah tomorrow. Our conversation ended, and I thought that I should try to message Sam in some way and let her know that I'm "flexible". I then said that people probably think we aren't together in the game and we could play that to our advantage. She said she was down if I was, but proceeding this she kept on saying she didn't know what she wanted to do and that "she has no power to throw out a name." This really annoyed me so I asked her who does and she said she doesn't know. Our conversation ended, but during it Connah messaged me asking me if I'm talking to anyone because it's really quiet. I was feeling a vibe that Sam told Connah she was talking to me, so I told him I was trying to resolve my issues with Sam. It got awkward so our conversation kinda died off. During all this, Andrew, Allison and Connor didn't have a lot to say about anything. Connor said he was at work all day and came back at 10 PM EDT and said sorry he was at work. I said it was okay then asked him if he talked to Josh recently. He never replied and then I asked him again an hour later and still received no reply. Now, Scott says he's back and is messaging my alliance chat with himself and Andrew. I haven't talked to Matt at all this vote. I said hey to Allison in pms but she never replied because I'm pretty sure she's been offline. I haven't talked to Josh either, but I have an opportunity to tonight because it's 2 PM for him in Phillippines.

Decisions, decisions.... I hate my position in this game as the "middle man" Anyways, Jessy/Andrew I think are expecting me to flip and vote Sam with them this round, but tbh I don't think I can flip on Sam and vote her out. Like if she goes, I don't want to be apart of that just because she trusts me a lot with her game. However, if they can manage to get her out this round I'm all theirs. Sam/MJ and co. said they want to do Allison, and because I don't trust Allison i think it might be safest for me to just vote her out and only flip if they're wanting to vote out Jessy/Andrew. Also spoke on call with Connor and hes trying to convince me to flip. The only way I see myself voting with them is if they vote MJ. But I just don't think that is realistic since Jessy is set on voting Sam. Which I personally cannot do since she is the only one I trust on that other side. Idk its all very up in the air, hopefully it isnt me that goes

9wegwpirangwfj tribals in an hour and a half and I really don't know what I'm gonna do. Apparently Josh would be okay with voting out MJ but I'm not sure if he really would. Part of me is thinking I should just vote Allison and if it ties, then I flip cause I don't wanna be rocked out pre-jury, especially since the only person I trust on Sam and Co side is Sam. I just know this is gonna be one huge clusterfuck

So.... much.... stress.... Josh and I agreed on just voting with the separate blocks, but I forgot that Sam has a vote negator so now I have to decide if I'm actually gonna go through with that plan or just flip and vote MJ. hregehgoihiqrehie I HATE THIS GAME

This game? Is crazy. I want to die. Somehow, through almost FIVE HOURS of acumalitive calls, I have managed to flip Josh and Scott so that we have majority. MJ SHOULD be going home. I literally did that. Like, i LITERALLY did THAT. Good god. Fingers crossed. It just makes sense? With MJ being a winner already and very good at flipping votes and winning challenges, we have the time to take him out so lets do it. Sam would be easier to vote out and I know Jessy wanted to, but with Matt having another idol and being immune, the two of them are too close for comfort. Actually, this entire game is too close for comfort. end my life.

why am i in the middle. i mean i guess i should count my blessings because i'm not getting voted out but this is such a hard position to be in