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chansdoll · 4 months ago

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필릭스 ─── between heaven and you

⋆｡ ˚༘ ♫ turning page - sleeping at last

"ever since you came into my life, you taught me all about unconditional love."

♡ pairing ៸៸ angel!felix x afab!reader genre ៸៸ angst, fluff, smut ៸៸ cw ៸៸ brief mentions of sexual assault, depression, suicide attempts, drug and alcohol abuse, blood, domestic abuse (physical, verbal, and emotional), minho is an asshole (sorry), very much a slowburn (felix is YEARNING.) hyunjin is also in this fic as an angel. smut cw: loss of virginity, slightly inexperienced felix, unprotected p in v, vanilla af tbh ♡ synopsis ៸៸ after watching you struggle for so long, your guardian angel falls for you, and ends up breaking celestial laws just to be in your presence. a/n ๑ i tried a different writing style for this story, it took me about three weeks to finish. this was kind of inspired by felix's unfair mv. the concept of him as an angel suits him so well. i'll put content warnings but please read at your own risk, there will be heavy heavy topics mentioned in this fic. - mostly proofread. [ 17k words ] ㅤ ♡ masterlist

felix was there. he was always there, before you even realized it.

life hadn’t been easy for you—that much had been clear for as long as you could remember. your mother walked out of your life when you were only three, and not long after, your father succumbed to liver failure, leaving you orphaned and adrift in a world that seemed designed to crush you. without a family to hold you, to remind you that you mattered, you became just another number in the system, another child shuffled between homes like a piece of lost luggage.

your belongings were carried in a garbage bag, a cruel reminder that you were never meant to stay anywhere long enough to unpack. foster care was supposed to provide a sense of stability, but instead, it felt like a series of cold exchanges, your worth measured in paperwork and stipends.

things took a darker turn when you were placed with your first long-term foster family. at first, you thought the word "long-term" might bring relief—a chance to settle, to belong—but it quickly became a prison sentence. you realized, with bitter clarity, that "long-term" didn’t mean better; it just meant more time to endure. and endure, you did, wishing with every passing day that their home had been just another brief stop on the endless conveyor belt of placements.

the mother was controlling, piling chores onto you to the point where your schoolwork was neglected, causing you to nearly fail your first year of middle school. the father was lazy and critical, spending his evenings in a recliner with a beer in hand, quick to judge but offering no help around the house. unknown to the foster care system or the foster mother, he had a disturbing habit of sneaking into your room at night under the guise of wanting to "cuddle."

it wasn’t until he started trying to undress you that you realized this wasn’t something that was normal between fathers and daughters.

but yet, you stayed silent. afraid of making them angry. you knew it wasn’t right, what he was doing to you, but they were giving you a home. something you had been wishing for for several years. you didn’t want to pass that up just because some gross dude lifted your nightgown for a measly 5 minutes 3 times a week.

you stayed in that home for about 2 years until they got tired of you. finally, you were free from that prison.

however, the weight never stopped piling on top of you, the feelings never stopped rising. you didn’t realize it because you were too young, but remembering what that sick fuck did you was enough to leave you nauseous for a few days. you found yourself stuck in your head, constantly feeling his fingertips grazing your inner thigh, his mouth on yours, still smelling the faint odor of alcohol on his breath.

you hated yourself for letting it slide. for letting him get away with it. you resented yourself for being so fucking afraid all the time. why didn’t you just speak up? why were you so fucking pathetic? the thoughts whirled in your head constantly.

you had no idea that the flood of dark, tormenting thoughts in your mind was the reason felix came into your life. the first time he truly saved you was when you were just 14.

it was late at night, and you were alone in the bathroom you shared with three other foster girls, each of them sleeping in the room just outside. the door was locked, and your back was pressed against it, the cool wood digging into your skin as tears soaked your cheeks. your fingers trembled as they gripped the little pill bottle in your hand, eyes locked on it as your lip quivered, the weight of the moment almost unbearable. you didn’t know how much longer you could keep going.

everything in you was screaming to stop the noise inside your head, to stop the endless thoughts that tore at your mind. but there was one thing you couldn’t escape—your heart was still beating, and no matter how hard you wished for it to stop, it wouldn’t. so, with a quiet curse, you made up your mind. you were done.

the pills felt like stone as they hit your throat, each one a bitter reminder of everything that was falling apart. you gagged, struggled to swallow, but you forced them down, one after another. you locked yourself in that bathroom, barricading yourself from the world, and for what felt like an eternity, you sat there, on the edge of breaking, hoping for something—anything—to stop the pain.

only for a mere moment was the world quiet around you, the kiss of death just barely brushing your lips..

until something strange happened. it was like the very essence of life itself surged through your body, jolting you upright from where you had been slumped on the cold tile floor. the world spun out of control, and your body betrayed you in the most brutal way—it took everything you had to keep yourself upright as you lurched toward the tub. your stomach heaved violently, the contents of your body fighting against the poison you had just forced in.

sweat dripped down your face as you vomited, shaking uncontrollably, your body a hot mess of fear and desperation. it was a moment of raw panic as you realized, in the haze of your disorientation, that you were still alive. the wave of disappointment hit you like a freight train—how could you still be here? how could it not have worked? you wanted nothing more than to disappear in that moment, to fade into nothingness.

but he was always there.

a couple of years passed, and you were adopted by a family who genuinely cared for you. they said they loved you, and you told yourself you loved them too—or at least, you thought you did. but you could never quite tell if your feelings for others were genuine or just surface-level mimicry. you heard their words of love, but you never felt it in the way people described—the flutter in your chest, the warmth in your stomach.

instead, there was only emptiness.

you had a family that cared, hot meals, a safe home. by all accounts, it should have been enough. so why wasn’t it? why did you feel a persistent ache for something more?

high school offered a temporary escape, at least for a while. you had a knack for finding trouble—running with the wrong crowd, skipping class to get high or spend hours making out with whichever guy you were dating at the time. in those moments, everything felt exhilarating. the thrill of breaking rules filled you with a rush, and being with them made you feel whole, even if only briefly.

but when you were alone, the emptiness crept back in.

in solitude, every thought became louder, every feeling sharper, relentless in their assault. the weight of it all was unbearable. whether you realized it or not, you were slowly self-destructing, losing the spark and vitality that once defined you as a child. this wasn’t the gradual "loss of innocence" that comes with growing up—it had been stolen from you. and instead of clinging to what little remained, you shoved it all away, forcing it into a dark, unrelenting void of pain and regret.

the second time felix saved you was when you were 16.

it was a night that seemed like any other, until everything changed in an instant. you and your boyfriend had been at a party, the music loud and the laughter even louder, but the night took a turn the moment you got in the car. he had been drinking heavily. you tried to convince him to let someone else drive, but he insisted, too drunk to even form a coherent argument. you told yourself it would be fine—he was your boyfriend, and he promised he was fine to drive.

but it wasn’t fine.

the crash came so suddenly, you didn't even have time to brace yourself. the screech of tires, the sudden force of the impact—everything spun, and then there was silence.

when you opened your eyes again, the world was a blur, the harsh sound of sirens breaking through the ringing in your ears. your body was heavy, and the pain was overwhelming. you couldn’t move your arm, and it felt like you were sinking into the seat, your head throbbing with every heartbeat. you reached for it, fingers trembling, feeling blood dripping from your hairline.

your trembling hand reached up instinctively, grasping at anything to try and level yourself while twisted in the vehicle, but it ended up brushing against something warm and wet—blood. it was everywhere. at first, you thought it was just yours, but then you looked to your side.

your boyfriend was there, slumped unnaturally in the driver’s seat. his head hung at an angle that made your stomach twist, and his chest didn’t rise. his face, once so familiar and full of life, was pale and lifeless. for a moment, the world stood still as your mind grappled with the impossible reality in front of you.

you called his name, your voice barely more than a croak, but there was no response. the quiet was suffocating. hot tears blurred your vision as panic overtook you. you reached for him, shaking him, begging him to wake up, but it was no use.

the realization hit you like a cold wave, and you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t process the weight of it.

at that moment, the pain in your body was nothing compared to the weight in your chest. the boy you thought you’d share so many tomorrows with was gone, and you were left drowning in the wreckage of a life that would never be the same.

it was then that you felt it—the presence of someone, something, familiar but impossible to explain. there was a warmth, a sense of calm in the chaos. the sound of voices in the distance didn’t seem so muffled anymore. you could hear the paramedics, shouting instructions, but you felt... distant, almost like you were floating outside of your own body.

“stay with me,” someone was saying, but it wasn’t the paramedics.

“i’m here. you’re going to be okay,” a deep, yet soft male voice rang. the words weren’t loud, they weren’t even clear, but they were enough to settle you, just enough to make the panic simmer down into something manageable. you had no idea how it got there, but the voice was a tether.

you tried to respond, tried to speak, but your body wasn’t cooperating. the world seemed to shift and swirl again, and then you were in an ambulance, being rushed to the hospital.

the moments after the crash were a blur of bright hospital lights, sterile smells, and the constant beeping of machines around you.

the doctor had placed you into a medically induced coma due to the amount of drugs and alcohol in your system, as well as your severe brain injury. it took some time for your family to arrive at the hospital, but felix stayed with you. he was by your side the whole time you lay there.

later on, your eyelids fluttered open, your lashes brushing against the dryness of your skin, and it took a few moments for your eyes to adjust to the harsh white light above you. blinking slowly, you tried to clear the fog in your mind, forcing your surroundings into focus.

beside your bed, there was a chair. empty. the sight of it hit you like a wave of loneliness. your mind raced. had someone been sitting there? had someone been waiting for you to wake up?

before you could let yourself fall into the quiet despair of it, something caught your eye—a flash of movement. at first, you weren’t sure if it was real or just a trick of your disoriented mind, but there it was again. a figure. a blonde figure dressed all in white, moving swiftly past the door and out of the room.

your heart skipped a beat, your breath catching in your throat. it happened so quickly, you didn’t even have time to process it fully. just a flicker of someone in white, someone you couldn’t place, and then they were gone, disappearing down the hallway like a phantom.

you tried to call out, tried to move, but your body refused to cooperate. you were too weak, too broken, too tethered to the machines that kept you alive. who had that been? was it someone you knew?

but before you could think any more about it, the pain returned, sharp and immediate, and all you could do was close your eyes, hoping for a moment of peace. even as your mind raced, as uncertainty flooded you, you couldn’t shake the thoughts, your mind wondering if what you saw was real or just a hallucination from your drugged-up state.

felix spent countless hours studying you, observing the subtle ways you shifted in your sleep, the way your body would tense when you were about to face the next wave of agony. he wasn’t supposed to be so emotionally attached, not in the way he found himself. angels were meant to be impartial, neutral—protective, but not emotionally involved. and yet, as time went on, felix found himself more and more drawn to you, his gaze lingering longer than necessary, his thoughts turning to you even when he wasn’t near. it was a kind of fascination, but it was also something deeper, something he hadn’t experienced before.

it always pained felix to watch you struggle. it was his job, of course, as your guardian angel, but that didn’t necessarily mean he liked it. his role was simple, or so it was supposed to be—guide, protect, watch over you—but there were moments when it felt like a weight he could barely carry. watching you hurt, seeing the toll life had taken on you, it gnawed at him in ways he couldn’t quite explain. it wasn’t just about keeping you safe; it was about witnessing your inner turmoil, the pain you couldn’t escape, and knowing he could never truly take it away. he could intervene, sure, but only so much.

he became fond of you. at first, it was a quiet awareness—a soft sadness in his chest when he saw your tears, a feeling of helplessness when he couldn’t stop you from making the same painful decisions over and over again. but it grew. he watched how you pushed through your struggles, how you fought to keep living despite everything that weighed you down. there was a quiet strength in you, an undeniable resilience that made him both proud and heartsick.

sometimes, when you were at your lowest, felix would find himself feeling your pain. it wasn’t just an awareness, it was a visceral ache that seemed to pulse through him as if your suffering was his own. and that was strange. he wasn’t supposed to feel anything—least of all the sharp, gut-wrenching pain that you carried with you. angels were above human emotion; they were supposed to observe, not participate. but there it was. he would feel your despair, the weight of your grief, the crushing exhaustion in your heart as if it were his own.

he’d try to push it away, to block it out, but it lingered. it was becoming harder and harder to ignore.

after the accident, he had watched you slip into that coma, felt the void of your absence, and during the time you were unconscious, it was like a part of him had gone with you. the pain he felt as you fought to survive, the pull of your fragile life, had him teetering on the edge of something unfamiliar. he wasn’t supposed to care this much. he wasn’t supposed to let himself be moved by your suffering. but he was. and it terrified him.

felix could barely stand it. he was so close, so close to you, but always just out of reach. he couldn’t touch you, couldn’t make you understand that he was there. he had to stay hidden, an invisible force in the shadows. it was one of the many rules he was tasked to follow.

but he was there. and he was watching, as he always did. every time you moved, every time you cried out, his heart cracked just a little more. there were moments when he wished he could reach out, hold you, tell you it would be okay. but he couldn’t. his purpose was to guide you, not to console you the way a person could. and yet, he longed to.

it was strange. it was almost as if, in trying to save you from the darkness, he was losing himself in the process.

he was supposed to help you without complications. but oh boy, did it become complicated.

“why do you seem down?” hyunjin asked felix, his shoes clacking against the marble floor of felix’s room. felix lay on his sofa, deep in thought. it took him a few seconds to finally answer. “she’s not doing well again,” he said lowly, the sound of sadness apparent in his tone. hyunjin walked over and sat next to him, letting out a soft sigh. “the same stuff?” he asked, referring to your depression.

felix just hummed in response and nodded, laying his head back down as he stared off into space. “i can't do anything to help her.” he muttered eventually, disappointment in his tone.

hyunjin studied felix quietly, his own expression a mixture of concern and confusion. angels weren’t supposed to form such deep attachments. they were guides, protectors—meant to observe and intervene only when absolutely necessary. but felix... felix was different.

"you care about her more than any angel i’ve ever seen care for their human," hyunjin said softly, his voice tinged with a cautious curiosity. "it’s not... wrong, exactly, but it’s not normal either."

felix didn’t respond right away. his gaze was distant, locked somewhere far beyond the room they were in. finally, he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper."she’s been through so much, hyunjin. more than anyone should ever have to endure. and she keeps going, even when it feels like the world is crushing her. but it’s wearing her down. i can see it in her eyes, hear it in her thoughts."

hyunjin frowned, leaning back on the sofa. "you’ve saved her before. more than once. isn’t that enough? isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? intervene when necessary and then... let go?"

felix sat up abruptly, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "let go? how can i let go when every time i turn my back, she’s falling deeper into the darkness? i can feel her pain, hyunjin. it’s like it’s… carved into my being."

hyunjin tilted his head, watching his friend carefully. "you’re more human than you think, felix," he said quietly, almost to himself.

felix’s head snapped toward him, his expression a mix of surprise and defiance. "what’s that supposed to mean?"

"it means," hyunjin continued calmly, "that maybe you care so deeply because you understand her in a way most angels don’t. you don’t just see her struggles—you feel them. that connection... it’s rare, felix. but it’s also dangerous."

felix looked away, his jaw tightening. he knew hyunjin was right, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. "i just want her to be happy," he said finally, his voice breaking slightly. "i don’t care if it’s dangerous or rare or whatever else you want to call it. i just can’t stand to see her like this."

hyunjin reached out, placing a hand on felix’s shoulder. "maybe it’s time to think about what she really needs. sometimes, saving someone doesn’t mean fixing everything for them. it means being there, quietly, in the background, until they find their own strength."

felix sighed, his shoulders slumping under the weight of hyunjin’s words. he didn’t know if he could do that—if he could stand by and watch you struggle, hoping you’d pull through on your own. he had been waiting several years for this, for you to come to, for you to get better. it didn’t seem achievable because of how much you were obviously hurting still.

but deep down, he knew hyunjin had a point.

all he could do was stay close and hope his presence, even unseen, would make a difference.

a few more months passed, and felix found himself at his breaking point. watching you spiral further into despair was more than he could bear. he had always been bound by the sacred rules of his kind. yet, with every passing day, those rules felt like chains, holding him back from giving you the comfort and hope you so desperately needed.

he began to push the boundaries, leaving subtle signs of his presence. a faint warmth brushing your skin during your loneliest nights, the sudden scent of vanilla randomly wafting through your room–his signature scent.. or the soft flutter of a breeze indoors when no windows were open. felix hoped these tiny gestures would remind you that you weren’t alone, that someone was watching over you. sometimes you’d swear you’d wake up in the middle of the night, feeling eyes on you in your bedroom.

but he knew he was treading dangerous ground. revealing himself to the living, even indirectly, was a direct violation of celestial law. angels were forbidden from crossing into the mortal plane unless absolutely necessary—and certainly not for personal reasons. every time he bent the rules, felix felt the weight of disapproval from the higher realms, but he didn’t care.

all he cared about was you.

eventually, felix realized that his subtle gestures weren’t enough to ease your suffering. the flickers of warmth, the faint scents, and the soft breezes weren’t making the impact he hoped for. so, he made the decision to go further, breaking the rules more boldly than ever before.

what started as occasional visits to watch over you as you slept turned into a nightly ritual. every night, without fail, felix would enter your room, his presence unseen, and settle himself beside you on the bed. he would sit propped against the headboard, his fingers brushing gently through your hair in soothing strokes. this was the only time he saw you truly at peace—your expression free of the sadness that weighed you down during your waking hours. your mind was finally quiet, your face soft and serene, and seeing you like this brought felix a strange sense of solace.

he didn’t feel out of place lying beside you. on the contrary, it comforted him to know that, even if you couldn’t feel his presence, he was there for you during your most vulnerable moments. but simply being there wasn’t enough for him. he wanted you to know you weren’t alone, even if you didn’t understand the source.

so, he started leaving a single white rose in your apartment, always in a spot he knew you’d notice. the first time you found one, you panicked. your thoughts immediately jumped to the idea of a stalker. it would explain the strange sensation you sometimes felt while sleeping, as though someone was watching over you. but no one had a key to your apartment, and you were sure you hadn’t misplaced a spare. there were no signs of forced entry, no broken locks or jimmied windows. and living on the tenth floor of a building without a balcony made the idea of anyone sneaking in seem impossible.

yet, every wednesday, like clockwork, the roses appeared. each time you came home from work, you found one waiting for you—sometimes placed carefully on your pillow, other times resting on the kitchen counter where you always dropped your keys.

the mystery of the roses consumed your thoughts. you couldn’t shake the eerie feeling of being watched, but at the same time, something about the gesture felt... kind. even as the fear lingered, you couldn’t deny the strange comfort the flowers brought, like a small, silent promise that someone cared.

you’d sit for hours, turning the possibilities over and over in your mind, desperate for an explanation. the only theory that felt remotely plausible was that it might be a deceased family member—perhaps your father—reaching out to you from beyond. maybe he was watching over you, leaving these gifts as a sign of his presence.

but even that felt like a stretch. you’d never been one to believe in the supernatural. ghosts, spirits, angels—it all seemed too far-fetched. yet, the roses told a different story. they appeared in your locked apartment without any logical explanation, and the sheer impossibility of it all began to chip away at your skepticism.

the more you thought about it, the more your disbelief wavered. you still couldn’t bring yourself to fully accept the idea of something otherworldly, but a small part of you began to wonder: what if there was more to this world than you’d always believed?

it wasn’t until a little later into your adulthood that felix fell for you. he fell for you in a way that was more than he ever thought possible, a deep, unshakable kind of love that bloomed quietly in the recesses of his heart. it wasn’t sudden—it was a slow, inevitable tide, creeping up on him as he spent day after day watching over you, silently observing the subtle shifts in your life, the quiet struggles you faced, and the moments of fleeting joy that seemed to light up your world in spite of it all.

the more he watched you, the more deeply he felt connected to you. he could see the way you smiled when you thought no one was looking, the way your eyes shimmered with a mix of hope and pain, and how you carried your burdens with such quiet strength. he admired your resilience, but it tore at him too. each time he saw you frown in frustration or collapse into exhaustion after a long day, it felt like a jagged piece of glass scraping against his soul. the desire to be close to you—to be there for you—burned inside him like wildfire, something so powerful and raw, he couldn’t contain it.

felix found himself drawn to you in a way he couldn’t explain. he watched you laugh with your friends, saw you comfort a stranger, witnessed the quiet moments when you thought no one cared. and in every one of those moments, his heart ached. it ached because he longed to be the one to make you smile, to ease the weight on your shoulders, to tell you that he understood in ways no one else could. he wanted to be the one who held you when the world felt too heavy, who whispered comforting words when you couldn’t find any of your own.

he wanted—no, needed—to talk to you. to introduce himself, to somehow, impossibly, let you know that he knew you better than anyone else ever could. he knew your scars, your fears, your dreams. he had watched you grow, silently and from a distance, always just out of reach. and every part of him screamed to speak, to tell you everything he had seen and felt as he quietly admired the person you had become. every thought he had about you, every observation, every small detail, every fleeting moment, was carved into his soul.

but as much as he wanted that, he knew he couldn’t. he wasn’t supposed to be here, to be seen by you. he was bound by laws that held him away, that kept him a silent observer, a watcher in the dark. his love for you—his desperate, consuming love for you—was forbidden. and yet, it consumed him more than anything else. he ached with the overwhelming need to be near you, to somehow make you feel what he felt, to break the invisible barrier that kept him at arm’s length.

felix would continue to visit at night, his form hidden in the shadows of your room, listening to your breathing, watching your peaceful face as you slept. he would run his fingers through your hair, wishing he could tell you everything. he would hold his breath, praying you would stir, that maybe, just maybe, you would feel him there, his presence lingering like a soft touch, a whispered promise. the thought that you might never know how deeply he loved you—it was unbearable.

felix wanted so badly to be noticed, to have you turn and see him. he wanted you to know, not just that he existed, but that he had been there all along, watching over you, loving you from afar. he wasn’t some fleeting presence, some passing moment. he was here. he had always been here. and all he wanted was for you to know that.

god, he loved you so fucking much. in a way that was all-consuming, in a way that made every moment of separation feel like a quiet ache in the deepest parts of him. he loved you in a way that was both impossible and undeniable. and it terrified him, because he knew he could never have you—not truly. he could only watch. and in doing so, he was bound by something even greater than the laws that kept him from you. he was bound by the love he could never express, the feelings he could never act upon.

and that was the cruelest part of it all—he loved you more than anything, but he could never truly have you.

felix leaned against the door of his home in the astral plane, his body feeling as though it was made of stone, weighed down by the crushing pressure of what had just transpired. his mind was a whirlwind of chaotic thoughts, still reeling from the conversation he had mere moments ago. the higher realms had caught on to his increasingly reckless behavior. he had always known there would be consequences, but hearing the words from the voices of the celestial council made the reality of it all hit him like a bolt of lightning.

a warning, they had said. a warning that if he continued this way—if he kept breaking laws, bending the rules, and daring to reveal himself to the mortal world—he would be cast out. disowned. stripped of everything he had ever known. his immortality would be taken from him, and the wings that had always been a part of him, the wings that had given him his identity, would be severed. he would be cast into the human world, forced to live among those he had been forbidden to touch, to exist as one of them—fragile, finite, and utterly alone.

felix’s chest tightened as the weight of their decree settled over him. he was horrified, and in the pit of his stomach, he felt a deep, aching sense of loss. the thought of being cast down, of losing the eternity that had once defined him, gnawed at him. he had existed for so long in the celestial realms, watching over worlds, knowing his place, and now that place felt as though it was slipping away from him, just as quickly as his heart had fallen for you.

he didn’t want to stop seeing you. he didn’t want to stop visiting you, to stop offering you the comfort he could give from the shadows. the mere thought of no longer being able to watch you, no longer being able to quietly support you from the distance he had grown to cherish, felt like an ache so deep, it was like his very soul had been torn in two.

but at the same time, felix was terrified. terrified of what it would mean if he allowed himself to follow this path, if he let his emotions run wild, if he dared to embrace this connection he had with you. to lose his place among the celestial beings, to lose the very essence of who he was, the very reason he existed—it was too much to bear.

he closed his eyes, gripping the edge of the door as though it might anchor him in the reality he so desperately wanted to hold onto. his heart raced, torn between two worlds—his love for you, and the celestial duty that had once defined his every action. the love he felt for you was dangerous, forbidden, but it was real. the kind of love that carved deep into his chest, raw and desperate, a love that made him question everything he had ever known about his purpose. but was it worth losing everything? was it worth abandoning the very thing that had given his life meaning—his immortality, his place among the divine?

felix didn’t know. he didn’t know if he could make that choice.

all he knew was that the fear of losing you—of being cast away, disowned—was as terrifying as the thought of losing himself.

felix found a small measure of peace when you started dating someone—a coworker named minho. though it pained him to see you with someone else, the thought of minho being there for you when felix couldn’t brought him some comfort. from what felix observed, minho was kind and attentive, and that was enough to keep felix at ease, even if it hurt to stay in the background.

still, felix couldn’t bring himself to leave entirely. he continued to watch over you, always vigilant, ensuring that minho treated you the way you deserved.

but something shifted in your world, something that didn’t escape your notice. once minho entered your life, the roses stopped appearing in your apartment. at first, you didn’t think much of it, but as the weeks went by without a single flower, a strange pang of disappointment settled in your chest.

you hadn’t realized how much you’d grown attached to the mysterious gifts until they were gone. you had even gone out of your way to display them in a vase, replacing the wilted roses with fresh ones every week, as if honoring the unseen hand that left them. the absence felt odd, almost unsettling.

it didn’t take long for the thought to creep back into your mind: what if it really had been a stalker? but you dismissed it just as quickly as it came. there were no signs of forced entry, no evidence to support the idea. and besides, minho was with you now. if something truly dangerous were happening, surely he would have noticed too.

still, the timing nagged at you. the roses had stopped the moment minho came into your life. was it just a coincidence, or was there more to it? you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d lost something special—something silent and unseen, but deeply meaningful.

as your relationship with minho deepened, felix began to notice troubling changes in his behavior. at first, it was subtle—offhand remarks about the way you did things or minor criticisms disguised as jokes. but over time, those comments grew sharper, more frequent, and far harder to ignore. minho started nitpicking every little thing you did, blaming you for even the smallest mistakes, and turning minor missteps into significant issues.

it didn’t take long for felix to piece together the truth: minho was a narcissist, and worse, an abusive one. his behavior escalated rapidly. the once seemingly harmless complaints turned into outright yelling. he began getting in your face during arguments, his voice laced with venom, his demeanor intimidating. felix watched helplessly as minho’s anger grew darker, his threats becoming more pointed.

the shift terrified felix. there were moments when minho’s fury burned so hot that felix feared he might follow through on his threats. each time minho’s hand twitched or his voice reached a dangerous pitch, felix braced himself, sick with worry that this time, it wouldn’t stop at words.

countless nights, felix lingered nearby, his unseen presence heavy with fear and frustration. the thought of you being seriously hurt haunted him. despite his duty to remain in the background, every fiber of his being screamed to intervene, to shield you from the storm brewing in your own home.

as your relationship with minho continued and his behavior spiraled further into toxicity, you began to notice something strange: the inexplicable occurrences in your apartment had returned. the faint, sweet scent of vanilla began lingering in the air once more, subtle yet unmistakable. it crept into your senses at odd times, reminding you of a feeling you hadn’t experienced in months.

even more unsettling was the distinct sensation of being watched while you slept—something you’d felt before but had long since faded when minho entered your life. it was subtle at first, a gentle prickling at the back of your neck or the softest shift in the room’s energy. unlike most people, who might have been terrified by the idea of an unseen presence in their home, you felt an odd sense of comfort.

this wasn’t the unease of being stalked or the fear of danger. it was familiar, almost nostalgic, as though the presence itself carried a quiet reassurance. it reminded you of nights when you used to feel a strange sort of peace in your solitude, a solace that had seemed to vanish when minho came into your life.

you came home late wednesday night to find minho sitting at the kitchen island, his posture rigid and his expression already clouded with annoyance and barely concealed anger. you sighed inwardly, bracing yourself for yet another confrontation and wondering what you could have possibly done this time to provoke his ire.

before you could speak, your eyes fell on the white rose lying on the counter in front of him. your breath hitched, and your heartbeat quickened as unease settled deep in your chest. you had a feeling you knew exactly where this was going, but you forced yourself to play dumb, hoping to defuse whatever storm was brewing.

“what’s that?” you asked cautiously, your gaze darting between the rose and minho’s piercing glare.

he let out a humorless chuckle and lifted his head to meet your eyes. “you’re asking me?” he said, his voice calm but laced with an edge that sent chills down your spine.

you swallowed hard, struggling to steady your hands as you fidgeted with your fingers. “i don’t know. i didn’t—”

“come on, y/n,” he interrupted, his tone dripping with condescension. “i’m not stupid. i didn’t give this to you, so who did?” his voice was eerily calm, but his expression betrayed his barely contained fury, which was far more unsettling than when he was openly yelling.

“i-i don’t know, i swear,” you stammered, your voice trembling as you searched his face for any sign of reason.

minho’s jaw tightened, and his fist slammed against the counter, the sharp sound making you flinch. he stood abruptly, towering over you as his eyes narrowed. “bullshit. you got it from a guy. who is he? do i know him?”

“no, minho! i haven’t talked to any guys today!” you cried, your voice rising in desperation as your body began to shake.

“you’re lying,” he hissed, his gaze unwavering and his presence suffocating. he reached for the rose, running his fingers along the delicate petals as though mocking its fragility.

“i’m not,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

minho studied you for a moment, the silence stretching into something unbearable. then, with a sudden burst of violence, he clenched the rose in his fist, ripping the petals from the stem and scattering them across the counter. “clean this shit up. i don’t want to see any more flowers around here,” he snarled before shoving past you and storming toward the hallway.

something inside you snapped. “no,” you said firmly, the word escaping your lips before you could stop yourself.

minho froze mid-step, turning slowly to face you with a mixture of shock and fury. “what did you just say?” he asked, his tone low and dangerous.

“i said no,” you repeated, your voice steady despite the fear twisting in your stomach. you stood your ground, glaring at him with a defiance you didn’t know you possessed.

his surprise faded quickly, replaced by a dark, menacing rage. in an instant, he closed the distance between you, raising his hand and striking you across the face. the sharp sound of the slap echoed through the room, and the sting of his palm seared into your cheek.

before you could even process the pain, a loud crash shattered the tense silence. both of you turned toward the counter, where shards of glass from the vase that once held your white roses lay scattered. the vase had shattered violently, though neither you nor minho had touched it, and you were both too far away for it to have been accidental.

minho stared at the broken glass, his face contorting in confusion and unease. for the first time, you saw a flicker of something unfamiliar in his eyes—fear. and for a brief moment, it felt like the air in the room had shifted, heavy with something unexplainable, something beyond either of your control.

“get the fuck out,” you spat, your voice trembling with both rage and sorrow as you shoved minho away from you. your lip quivered, and your heart pounded in your chest. he stumbled backward, his usual composure shattered as he stammered, trying to piece together words to defend himself.

“out!” you screamed, your voice breaking as tears began streaming uncontrollably down your face. you clutched your stinging cheek with one hand, the pain of his slap mingling with the ache in your chest.

minho hesitated, his face flickering with disbelief and hesitation, but eventually, he relented. grumbling under his breath, he grabbed his things and left, the door closing behind him with a finality that echoed through your apartment.

the silence that followed was suffocating, oppressive in its stillness. you stood frozen for a moment, staring at the broken glass scattered across your kitchen floor. your legs gave out beneath you, and you plopped onto the cold tile, your back pressed against the refrigerator as a sob wracked through your body.

you cried harder than you had in months, your tears falling freely as every ounce of frustration, anger, and pain came pouring out. you were furious—with minho, with yourself, with the cycle you seemed unable to break. why had you let it get this far? why did you allow another man to mistreat you, just because you were terrified of being alone again?

the realization cut deeply, leaving you raw and exposed. you told yourself then and there that you were done. done with minho, done with letting people like him have power over you. and this time, you meant it.

true to your resolve, minho didn’t bother you again. after a week of silence, it was clear that he wasn’t coming back, and for that, you were relieved. but relief didn’t erase the damage he had done.

in the aftermath of the breakup, you found yourself slipping back into the darkness you thought you had left behind. nights were the hardest. some, you spent curled up in bed, crying until exhaustion finally claimed you. others, you lay wide awake, staring at the ceiling as the all-too-familiar numbness crept over you, settling into your chest like an unwelcome guest.

the emptiness was back, deeper and more consuming than ever. it felt like your heart was a hollow shell, incapable of feeling anything but the ache of its own vacancy. and as the days blurred into weeks, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was all you were destined for—cycles of pain, brief reprieves, and an ever-present void you could never seem to fill.

one night, as you drifted off to sleep, your dream took an unusual turn. in the depths of slumber, you saw flashes of golden blonde hair and a face so captivating it felt almost otherworldly. he had plump, soft lips, a delicate button nose, and a constellation of freckles scattered across his skin. his presence was magnetic, his beauty striking yet gentle.

at first, the dream was fleeting—a quick glimpse of him before the scene shifted into the usual randomness of your subconscious. but as the nights went on, he began appearing more frequently. his visits weren’t long, just brief moments where you saw his face, a sense of comfort and calm washing over you before he would vanish again into the recesses of your mind.

though you never spoke to him, you could feel him there. his presence was undeniable, and oddly familiar, as though you knew him from somewhere. the more you dreamed of him, the more he felt like a guardian, someone watching over you from the shadows.

what you didn’t realize was that this wasn’t just a figment of your imagination. it was felix. after weeks of struggling to find ways to be closer to you without breaking the celestial rules, he decided to take a different approach.

he was hesitant at first, unsure if entering your dreams would be too bold, too much of a risk. but he couldn’t stay away. the idea of reaching you in this subtle, intangible way felt like the perfect compromise—a chance to be near you without disrupting the delicate balance of your reality.

so, he appeared to you in fragments, carefully choosing each moment. the dreams were his way of offering comfort, a gentle reminder of his presence, even if you couldn’t fully understand what it meant yet. to felix, it was enough to know he was there for you, even if only in the quiet hours of the night.

the dream started like many others—hazy and indistinct, with colors blending together in a soft, swirling mist. you were standing in a field bathed in moonlight, the grass cool beneath your bare feet. a gentle breeze carried the scent of vanilla, a fragrance that had lingered faintly in your waking hours.

and then, you saw him.

he emerged from the mist like a figure out of a painting, his golden hair glowing faintly in the silver light. his face, with its constellation of freckles and gentle, piercing eyes, was heartbreakingly beautiful. he stopped a few paces away, his gaze locked on yours. for a moment, neither of you spoke. the silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but charged with something unspoken—something familiar yet strange.

"who are you?" you asked finally, your voice trembling as if afraid to break the spell. his lips curled into a soft smile, and he tilted his head slightly. "you already know me," he said, his voice like a melody, soothing and warm. your brows knitted together, confusion flickering across your face. "i don’t think i do."

"you’ve felt me," he said gently, taking a cautious step closer. "in the quiet moments. when you’ve been at your lowest. i’ve been there." the realization hit you like a wave, a shiver running down your spine. "the roses..."

he nodded, his expression tender yet tinged with sadness. "i didn’t mean to frighten you. i only wanted you to know you weren’t alone."

"but why? why me?" you whispered, a lump forming in your throat.

his gaze softened further, and he crouched slightly to meet your eyes more closely. "because i care about you more than you’ll ever know. i’ve watched over you, protected you, even when you didn’t know i was there."

your breath hitched, the weight of his words sinking in. "are you... an angel?"

felix hesitated for a moment, then gave a small nod. "yes. and breaking every rule to talk to you like this."

"why now?"

"because i can’t bear to see you in pain anymore," he admitted, his voice cracking just slightly. "you’ve been through so much, and i... i couldn’t stay silent any longer."

tears welled in your eyes as you took a step closer, your hand reaching out instinctively. he didn’t pull away, but you hesitated, your fingers hovering just above his. "this doesn’t feel real," you murmured.

"but it is," he assured you, his voice firm yet gentle. "i’ll be here as long as you need me, whether you see me or not."

the dream began to blur around the edges, the mist creeping back in. "wait," you pleaded, your voice tinged with desperation. "will i see you again?"

felix smiled softly, his golden hair shimmering in the fading light. "always."

and then he was gone, leaving only his signature scent and the lingering warmth of his presence behind as you woke, tears still fresh on your cheeks.

“you did what?” hyunjin asked felix, surprise evident on his expression. felix bit the inside of his cheek before he quietly repeated himself. “i.. visited her in her dream.” he mumbled.

hyunjin stared at felix, his eyes wide as he leaned against the railing of their astral plane. the soft glow of their surroundings illuminated the disbelief on his face. "you visited her in her dream," he repeated slowly, as if trying to process the gravity of felix's words.

felix nodded, looking away. "i couldn’t just watch her suffer anymore. she needed to know she wasn’t alone."

hyunjin ran a hand through his dark hair, letting out a sharp exhale. "do you have any idea how reckless that was? visiting the living in their dreams might not be as bad as full manifestation, but it’s still breaking the rules."

felix’s gaze hardened, his usual softness replaced with a rare defiance. "i don’t care about the rules anymore, hyunjin. they don’t help her. she’s falling apart, and i can’t just stand by and do nothing."

hyunjin crossed his arms, his expression shifting from surprise to concern. "i get it, felix, i do. but you’ve been walking a thin line for a while now. leaving roses, lingering in her presence... do you really think the higher-ups won’t notice?"

felix clenched his fists at his sides. "let them notice. let them punish me if they want. but i won’t regret it. not for her."

hyunjin softened at felix's conviction, his features losing their edge. "you really care about her, don’t you?"

felix’s eyes glistened as he nodded. "more than anything. she’s been through so much, hyunjin. no one deserves that kind of pain. if i can be the one thing that brings her some comfort, i’ll take any punishment that comes my way."

hyunjin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "you’re not going to stop, are you?"

"no," felix said firmly, his voice steady despite the weight of his words.

there was a moment of silence as hyunjin studied his friend, his lips pressed into a thin line. finally, he relented with a small shake of his head. "alright. if you’re going to keep doing this, at least let me help you cover your tracks. if they find out what you’re doing, it won’t just be a slap on the wrist, felix. it’ll be exile—or worse."

felix’s eyes widened in surprise, gratitude quickly replacing the shock. "hyunjin, you don’t have to—"

"i know i don’t have to," hyunjin interrupted, his tone sharp. "but you’re my friend, and i’m not about to let you face this alone."

felix smiled faintly, the weight on his shoulders feeling just a little lighter. "thank you."

hyunjin sighed again, this time with a hint of exasperation. "don’t thank me yet. i’m not sure what kind of mess we’re getting into, but i have a feeling it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better."

felix’s smile didn’t waver. "it’ll be worth it."

hyunjin shook his head with a wry smile, muttering under his breath. "you’re hopeless."

but despite his grumbling, he didn’t leave felix’s side. if felix was going to fight for you, hyunjin would make sure he didn’t do it alone.

the dreams for the next few nights unfolded as they always had—flickers of unspoken moments and hazy images that faded like sand slipping through your fingers. but this night was different.

the air around you shifted as the dream took form. you were no longer in a familiar place but somewhere entirely foreign and breathtaking. marble floors stretched endlessly beneath your bare feet, their white, polished surface reflecting soft, golden light from above. the room seemed to glow, not harshly, but with a serene brightness that made you feel weightless.

and then there was the scent—vanilla, rich and warm, filling the air like an embrace. it washed over you, soothing every frayed nerve and quieting the lingering chaos in your mind.

before you could fully process the setting, he appeared.

felix stepped out of the light as though it had created him, his form entirely whole this time. his white tunic draped elegantly over his lean frame, the fabric flowing as if it were alive. his blonde hair, wavy and radiant, seemed to catch the ambient glow, each strand moving with an ethereal lightness. but it was his face—those delicate features, framed by a constellation of freckles, and eyes that held galaxies—that truly caught your breath.

you couldn’t look away.

the space between you and felix was vast, yet he began to close the distance, his steps slow and deliberate, as though each one was meant to reassure you. his gaze, warm and unwavering, never left yours.

your heart pounded in your chest, each beat a mix of confusion, awe, and an unexplainable comfort. "you’re back," you whispered, your voice trembling but filled with a strange relief.

felix’s lips curved into a gentle smile, and as he stopped a few feet away, his presence felt like the missing piece of a puzzle you hadn’t realized you were trying to solve.

"i promised i would be," he said softly, his voice carrying the same calming warmth as the vanilla in the air.

the marble beneath your feet felt cool, grounding you as you tried to steady your breathing. "where are we? what is this place?"

felix glanced around, his expression serene yet thoughtful. "a reflection of the in-between. it’s not quite your world, not quite mine."

you frowned slightly, tilting your head. "why are we here?"

his gaze softened further, and he took another cautious step toward you, his hands loosely clasped in front of him. "because. i needed to see you again."

your breath hitched, the vulnerability in his voice cutting through the dreamlike quality of the moment. "this feels... so real," you murmured, reaching out instinctively, though you stopped short of touching him.

"it is," felix replied, his voice a quiet assurance. "as real as it can be."

you hesitated for a moment, staring at his outstretched hand. it was so close, yet it felt like reaching for something impossibly distant. your heart raced as you extended your trembling hand toward him once more.

“can i... touch you?” you asked again, your voice quieter this time, as if afraid he might vanish if you spoke too loudly.

felix’s expression softened further, his lips curving into a smile so warm it felt like sunlight breaking through a storm. “you can,” he said, his voice gentle, almost reverent.

you reached out, and when your fingers met his, a jolt of warmth spread through you like ripples in still water. his skin wasn’t just soft—it was otherworldly, as if every molecule hummed with energy, radiating life and something deeper, something unnameable.

you gasped softly at the sensation, your fingertips brushing along the back of his hand. “it’s like… you’re made of light,” you murmured, your voice filled with awe.

felix chuckled softly, the sound low and soothing. “in a way, i suppose i am,” he replied, his thumb lightly brushing against your knuckles. “but what matters is that i’m here. with you.”

the weight of his words hit you, and your breath caught in your throat. you looked up at him, your eyes searching his for answers. “why are you doing this?”

his expression became more serious, though his touch remained tender. “because you deserve to feel loved, to feel cared for. you’ve been carrying so much for so long, and i couldn’t stand to see you bear it alone.”

your lips quivered, and tears began to well in your eyes. you fought them back, but the sheer kindness in his words made it impossible. “i don’t understand,” you whispered, shaking your head slightly. “why me? i’m nobody special.”

felix’s dark eyes softened even further, and he took a small step closer, his presence as overwhelming as it was comforting. “you are special,” he said firmly, his voice filled with quiet conviction. “you’ve survived so much, endured what most wouldn’t. you have a strength you don’t even realize.”

the tears spilled over then, and he reached out to gently brush them away, his touch featherlight. “you don’t have to do it alone anymore,” he said, his voice a vow. “i’m here. for as long as you’ll let me be.”

you stared at him, your heart swelling with emotions you hadn’t felt in years. gratitude. hope. maybe even something more.

but before you could speak, the dream began to shift, the bright marble surroundings fading into soft mist. you panicked, reaching for him as the world around you dissolved.

“felix, wait—don’t go!” you cried, desperation in your voice.

he cupped your face in his hands, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that made the fading dream still for a moment. “i’m never far,” he promised, his voice steady and unshakable. “call for me, and i’ll come.”

and then he was gone. you woke up clutching your hand to your chest, as if trying to hold onto the feeling of him for just a little longer.

the memory of his words and his touch stayed with you, and for the first time in a long while, you felt like maybe—just maybe—things could get better.

you found yourself spending more and more time with felix in your dreams, sharing conversations that ranged from the mundane to the profound. each night felt like peeling back another layer of his essence, and the bond between you deepened in ways you never imagined possible. he spoke to you with a sincerity that left you feeling safe and cherished, sharing stories of his watchful presence over the years, recounting moments when he had intervened in unseen ways to keep you safe. the weight of knowing just how much he had done for you was both humbling and overwhelming.

the concept of a guardian angel was still difficult for you to wrap your mind around—an ethereal being solely dedicated to protecting you. but even harder to believe was the fact that felix was yours. all yours.

felix never outright told you how much he cared for you, though you began to sense it in the way his gaze lingered, in the warmth of his words, and in the gentle way he reached out to comfort you. he held himself back, aware of your past pain, and was careful to move at a pace that respected your healing. he wanted to be patient, to give you all the time you needed, even as his feelings for you grew with each passing moment.

what he didn’t know was that you were falling for him just as quickly. the connection between you felt as natural as breathing, as though the universe itself had woven your fates together. the once-dreamlike visits began to feel more vivid and tangible, as if the line between the dream world and reality was slowly blurring.

by the time a month had passed, seeing him each night had become as natural as the sun setting. you found yourself eagerly anticipating the moment you would drift off to sleep, knowing he would be there waiting for you, his presence offering you a kind of solace you hadn’t felt in years. it was no longer just a dream; it was a sanctuary. a place where you could be yourself, free from judgment, and bask in the warmth of someone who truly cared.

of course, it didn’t last. how could it? luck had never been on your side, and this fleeting comfort seemed no different. without warning, felix was gone. the dreams you once eagerly anticipated were now nothing but empty darkness, leaving you tossing and turning in your bed, haunted by the void his absence created. you replayed your last conversation over and over in your mind, searching for any clue, any indication of what might have gone wrong. everything had seemed so normal—he was attentive, warm, and genuinely happy to be with you. there was no sign that anything was amiss.

the silence left you with nothing but questions. had you said something to offend him? had he grown tired of you? the thought gnawed at you, stirring feelings of abandonment and self-doubt. yet, what you didn’t know—what you couldn’t know—was that felix hadn’t chosen to leave. felix had gotten into trouble. big trouble.

far away from the sanctuary of your dreams, felix stood before the higher celestial realms, his head bowed in silent shame. the luminous expanse was unlike anything mortal eyes could comprehend—a vast court of blinding light, with entities of immeasurable power seated upon towering thrones of radiant energy. their voices were neither spoken nor heard but resonated directly within his being, each word a vibration that seemed to shake the very fabric of his existence.

“you have broken our most sacred laws, felix,” the central figure intoned, its voice a perfect balance of wrath and sorrow. “angels are not to reveal themselves to the living. and yet, you have not only shown yourself—you have formed a connection.”

felix clenched his fists at his sides, his golden head still lowered. “i couldn’t stand by and watch her suffer anymore,” he admitted, his voice steady despite the gravity of his situation. “she needed me. she needed someone.”

the entity’s light flared brighter, casting long shadows that seemed to pull at felix’s very essence. “your intentions may have been pure, but your actions were reckless. you risked exposing our realm to the mortal plane and disrupted the natural order.”

another voice, colder and sharper, chimed in. “you allowed emotion to cloud your duty. this is not love; it is folly. and now, you must face the consequences of your defiance.”

felix finally lifted his head, his freckled face set with quiet determination. “if loving her is a crime, then i will accept whatever punishment you deem necessary. but i don’t regret what i’ve done. she was alone in a way no one should ever have to be.”

the celestial beings exchanged glances, their forms shifting and flickering with the intensity of their deliberation. finally, the central figure spoke again, its tone heavy with finality. “felix, you are hereby stripped of your ability to interact with her. you will be confined to the astral plane, unable to enter her dreams or manifest in her presence. should you attempt to defy this order, the consequences will be irrevocable.”

the words struck him like a physical blow, and felix staggered, his heart aching with the weight of his punishment. to be kept away from you, to be forced to watch your pain from a distance without being able to comfort you—yet again–it was torment.

but there was nothing he could do. with a final flash of light, the court dissolved, and felix was left alone in the vast, endless expanse of the astral plane, his physical connection to you severed.

back in your world, you sat on your bed, staring at the clock as tears streamed down your face. the weight of his absence was unbearable, a silent ache that pressed against your chest. you whispered his name into the dark, hoping against hope that he could hear you, not knowing that he was out there, whispering your name too.

felix could still watch over you, still fulfill his celestial duties to keep you safe, but it wasn’t the same. something had shifted—an invisible barrier now confined him to the most basic of his responsibilities. no longer could he visit your dreams or stand by your side as you slept, even if you couldn’t see him. it tore at him. every part of him yearned to return, to let you know he was still there, to reassure you in the way only he could.

he could feel the ache of your unanswered questions, the way you were consumed by his sudden absence. you were falling deeper into a loneliness that clawed at your soul, a loneliness that made his punishment feel like a knife twisting in his chest. he knew you were hurting in ways you hadn’t felt in a long time, and the knowledge that he was the cause—however unintended—made it all the more unbearable.

winter came, and with it, you began to fade. the heavy, suffocating emptiness seeped back into your life, wrapping itself around you like a cold, unrelenting fog. your appetite vanished, and the simplest tasks became insurmountable. you stopped answering texts, ignoring calls from friends you hadn’t spoken to in weeks—some in months. but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

nothing mattered anymore because nothing could fill the void felix had left. you tried, briefly, to shake the feeling, but no one could make you feel the way he did. felix had ruined you for anyone else, his presence so uniquely comforting and irreplaceable that his absence felt like a gaping wound.

felix watched helplessly, his golden light dimmer than it had ever been. he saw the way your energy drained, the light in your eyes fading. he knew he was the one thing that could pull you out of this darkness, and yet, he was forbidden from reaching you. he spent countless moments wrestling with his own helplessness, the longing to be with you tearing him apart.

in the nights that followed, as you lay in your bed staring at the ceiling with tear-streaked cheeks, he whispered your name softly into the void, desperate for you to hear, even if he knew it was impossible. all he could do was hope.

the dark feelings were relentless, clawing at the edges of your mind, whispering venomous lies that you couldn’t escape. for months, they lingered, festering in the absence of light. no friends, no family, no felix—just you and the unyielding barrage of your thoughts. you had tried to fight it, to push forward, but the weight of it all was suffocating.

one cold winter night, as the world outside lay silent under a blanket of snow, you sat at the edge of your bed, staring at the empty room around you. the loneliness felt louder than any noise could. enough was enough, you thought. the hollow ache in your chest felt unbearable, and you saw no way out.

you grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, your hands trembling as you began to write. words spilled out, raw and unfiltered—apologies to those you thought might care, explanations for your decision, and an overwhelming sense of defeat. the letter wasn’t long; it didn’t need to be. when you finished, you folded it neatly and placed it on your nightstand.

the pills sat in the cabinet for months, untouched but always there. you retrieved them now, your breath shaky as you poured them into your palm. one by one, they gleamed under the dim light of your bedside lamp, little capsules of finality. you clutched them tightly, tears slipping down your face, mingling with the numbness that had overtaken you.

but just as you raised your hand, the room shifted. the light flickered, a sudden gust of vanilla-scented air brushing against your skin. it was so sudden and so familiar that your hand froze. the bottle slipped from your grasp, clattering to the floor, pills scattering across the wooden boards.

and then you saw him.

felix stood before you, his form shimmering like an ethereal beacon against the darkness. his golden hair glowed faintly, his freckled face etched with desperation and anguish. he looked at you, and for a moment, you could see the pain in his eyes—a reflection of your own.

“don’t,” he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. “please don’t.”

your breath hitched as you stared at him, unsure if he was real or just another cruel trick of your mind. “you… you left me,” you choked out, tears streaming freely now. “i thought you were gone forever.”

“i didn’t want to go,” felix said, stepping closer, his presence radiating warmth. “they made me. but i couldn’t stay away anymore. i can’t lose you.”

you felt his hands, warm and soft, cupping your trembling ones. the faint buzz of energy that accompanied his touch was a reminder of the bond you shared. “i’m so sorry,” he murmured, his voice filled with guilt. “i failed you.”

“no,” you whispered, shaking your head. “you didn’t. i just… i can’t do this anymore, felix. i can’t keep feeling like this.”

“you’re not alone,” he said firmly, his golden eyes locking onto yours. “you never were, and you never will be. i’ll fight for you, even if it costs me everything. but you have to promise me something.”

“what?” you asked, your voice barely audible.

“promise me you’ll hold on,” he said, his hands tightening slightly around yours. “even when it’s hard, even when it feels impossible. i’ll be here. i’ll always find a way to be here.”

the intensity of his words wrapped around you like a lifeline. for the first time in months, a glimmer of hope pierced through the suffocating darkness. you nodded, tears spilling as you whispered, “i promise.” felix pulled you into his arms, his embrace warm and grounding. for a moment, time stood still, and the only thing that mattered was that he was here.

felix’s comfort only lasted a fleeting moment. his golden eyes, filled with relief as he cradled your face, suddenly clouded with pain. his expression twisted, and with a sharp intake of breath, he dropped to his knees beside your bed. his hands clutched at his chest as if trying to hold something unseen together, his gasps turning into strangled cries.

"felix?" you called out, panic lacing your voice as you knelt beside him, your hand pressing firmly against his trembling shoulder. the warmth of his skin beneath your touch felt fleeting, fragile, like it was slipping away. "what’s happening? tell me!"

he tried to speak, his lips parting, but no words came. instead, he groaned, his body convulsing slightly as though an unbearable weight pressed down on him. his anguish was palpable, his gasps ragged and labored, his entire form shuddering under some invisible force.

then, a sound—a haunting, visceral snap—echoed in the air, like the ripping of fabric mixed with the grotesque crunch of bone. felix’s head shot back, and he let out a heart-wrenching wail that cut through the room like a blade. his back arched unnaturally, his hands clawing at the air as if trying to grasp something that was no longer there.

you froze, horrified, as the source of his agony became clear. through the thin white cloth of his shirt, you saw it—two jagged, open wounds on his back, seeping blood that shouldn’t have existed. the fabric clung to the injuries, staining crimson as the bleeding continued.

"felix, what’s happening?!" you cried, your voice trembling as your heart raced wildly in your chest. you tried to steady him, your hands gripping his shoulders, but he flinched, his body recoiling from the touch like it burned.

he groaned again, his voice hoarse and broken. his glowing, ethereal presence dimmed before your eyes, his radiant skin now pallid and sallow. the faint hum of electricity you always felt when you touched him—gone. even the scent of vanilla, so comforting and familiar, seemed to fade, replaced by the metallic tang of blood.

his breathing was ragged, shallow, and his entire form quivered with agony. "no... no..." he muttered weakly, his voice barely a whisper.

"felix," you choked out, your tears blurring your vision. you pressed your hands to his face, your touch desperate. "please, what’s happening to you? tell me what to do!"

he looked at you then, his eyes swimming with sorrow and pain so profound it felt as if it might shatter you. his voice was barely audible, cracked and broken as he rasped, "they’ve... taken it... everything. my wings... my grace..."

your breath hitched, your mind reeling as the realization dawned on you. felix wasn’t just in pain—he had been exiled. stripped of his celestial essence, cast down to a mortal existence for breaking the sacred laws he once upheld.

tears streamed down your face as you tried to support his trembling body, your heart breaking at the sight of him so vulnerable, so human. "you’re bleeding," you whispered, your voice trembling as you pressed your hands against his back in a futile attempt to stem the flow.

"it doesn’t matter," he said, his words slurred with exhaustion. "i... i couldn’t stay away. i knew this would happen, but i couldn’t leave you... not like that."

the weight of his sacrifice hit you like a tidal wave, and you sobbed openly, clutching him tightly as he collapsed against you. felix’s breaths were shallow, his body heavy and weak as he leaned into your embrace.

"you shouldn’t have done this," you murmured, your voice cracking with guilt and despair.

"i had to," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "i love you.."

felix’s whispered confession hung in the air like a fragile thread, his words trembling with vulnerability. his golden eyes, dulled by exhaustion, searched yours for a reaction. the weight of his love—of everything he had given up—pressed against your chest, making it hard to breathe.

"i love you," he repeated, stronger this time, as if saying it louder could convince you of its truth. his hand, trembling but resolute, reached up to touch your cheek, his thumb brushing away your tears. "i’ve loved you for so long... even before you knew i existed. watching over you, seeing your pain, your strength... i couldn’t stand to just watch anymore. i couldn’t lose you."

tears streamed down your face as you cupped his face, his skin warm beneath your palms but lacking the celestial glow you’d once marveled at. "felix," you choked out, your voice thick with emotion. "you gave up everything for me. how could i ever be worth that?"

his lips curled into a faint, pained smile. "you’ve always been worth it. you’re worth every punishment, every scar, every moment of this mortal life. i would do it all over again just to see you safe, just to be with you."

you shook your head, overwhelmed by the intensity of his words. "i don’t deserve this. i don’t deserve you."

"yes, you do," he countered, his voice steady despite the exhaustion weighing him down. "you deserve to be loved, truly loved, in a way that heals instead of hurts. and if i’m the one who can give that to you, then i’ll bear whatever it takes."

his words cracked something open inside you—a dam you’d been holding back for so long. the love you felt for him, so deep and consuming, poured out all at once. "felix, i love you too," you confessed, your voice trembling. "i’ve been so scared to admit it, even to myself, but i do. i love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone."

felix’s eyes widened, glistening with tears of his own, and for a moment, the weight of the world seemed to lift. his arms, though weak, wrapped around you tightly, pulling you into a desperate embrace. "you don’t know how much it means to hear you say that," he murmured against your hair.

you clung to him, your heart aching with both love and fear. "but what happens now? you’ve already lost so much because of me."

felix pulled back just enough to look at you, his expression resolute despite the pain etched into his features. "we’ll figure it out together," he promised. "no matter what comes next, i’m not leaving your side. not now, not ever."

his words were a lifeline, a tether to hope in the storm of uncertainty surrounding you.

as felix’s promise lingered in the air, his golden eyes searched yours with such intensity that it felt as though time had momentarily stopped. despite the anguish and exhaustion etched into his features, there was an undeniable pull between the two of you—something raw, something unspoken.

your fingers instinctively moved to his face, brushing back the damp strands of hair that clung to his forehead. he leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering shut for a brief moment as if savoring the simple intimacy of it.

"felix," you whispered, your voice barely audible, "you're all i have."

his gaze snapped back to yours, filled with equal parts tenderness and desperation. "and you're everything i’ve ever wanted."

before you could reply, felix closed the distance between you. his lips met yours in a kiss so gentle it felt like it could break with the wrong move. there was no hesitation, no uncertainty—just the unyielding truth of your shared emotions spilling into each other.

his kiss deepened as his trembling hands cupped your face, pulling you closer, as though he feared you might slip away if he let go. you felt the warmth of him, even in his weakened state, and the love he poured into that single moment overwhelmed you.

your hands gripped the fabric of his shirt, anchoring yourself to him as the kiss turned more urgent. the pain, the fear, the heartbreak—they all melted away, leaving only the two of you and the fire igniting between you.

felix broke the kiss briefly, resting his forehead against yours, his breathing ragged. "i can’t lose you," he murmured, his voice trembling with raw emotion. "not again. never again."

"you won’t," you promised, your voice steady despite the tears still streaming down your face. "i’m here. i’m not going anywhere."

as if reassured by your words, felix pulled you closer, his lips finding yours again with renewed fervor. his kisses were desperate yet tender, an unspoken apology for the pain you’d endured and a silent vow to never let you feel that way again.

something inside felix had snapped. whatever holy laws that prevented him from feeling this primal, sinful desire for you, they were long gone. something about kissing your lips, tasting you, drinking you in.. drove him into high gear. his hands were never ending in their exploration of your skin, roaming your body under your clothes. soft hums of appreciation left his lips as they danced hungrily against yours.

his love and affections for you were obvious.. but this instantly grew beyond an emotional depth, and he wanted to claim you. in this instant, it was more than wanting to care for you emotionally. he longed to satisfy your every desire, offering you the most exquisite sensations a human could experience. he wanted to give you even the slightest taste of heaven, even if he was no longer an angel.

his injuries and newfound pain were at the back of his mind–his main focus was you. finally, it was you.

your hands slid up his arms, feeling the tension in his muscles as he held onto you like you were his lifeline. his body was warm, his presence grounding, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the crushing weight of your loneliness lifted.

the heat between you grew, felix’s touch becoming bolder as he brushed his hands down your sides, hesitant yet yearning. you felt his fingers tremble slightly, a reminder of his fragile state, but he didn’t pull away. instead, he held you tighter, pressing kisses along your jawline and down to the curve of your neck.

"felix," you whispered, your voice catching as his lips lingered on your skin.

he paused, his breath warm against your collarbone as he pulled back just enough to meet your gaze. his eyes were filled with love, devotion, and a vulnerability that took your breath away. "tell me if this is too much," he said softly, his voice hoarse but steady.

"it’s not," you replied, your own voice trembling. "but.. your back. you’re hurt."

felix’s lips quirked into a faint smile, his golden eyes softening even as his hands remained firmly on your waist. “don’t worry about me,” he murmured, his voice low and reassuring. “this… what i’m feeling right now, being here with you… it’s worth any pain. i’m fine.”

you searched his face, uncertain, your fingertips brushing over his cheek. the warmth of his skin, the sincerity in his gaze, soothed your lingering doubts. “but felix—”

“i want this,” he interrupted gently, his voice carrying a rare firmness. his hands slid up your sides, steady despite their earlier trembling, until they rested just below your ribs. “i want you. i’ve wanted you for so long, and now that i have you here, i’m not going to let anything take me away from you again.”

your heart clenched at the conviction in his words. the love in his gaze was overpowering, a force you couldn’t fight against even if you wanted to. “you’re sure?” you asked softly, needing his confirmation, your fingers brushing through his disheveled hair.

he exhaled shakily, leaning his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with your own. “i’m more sure of this than i’ve been of anything in my existence. i’ve spent so long watching over you, loving you from afar. i don’t want to hold back anymore.”

felix tilted your chin gently, capturing your lips in a kiss that felt different from before. it wasn’t just hungry or desperate—it was tender, deliberate, filled with a quiet intensity that made your knees weak. his hands moved down, gripping your hips and pulling you closer, as though he couldn’t stand even an inch of space between you.

his lips trailed down your neck, leaving a warm, tingling trail that made your breath hitch. he paused again, his voice barely above a whisper. “tell me if you need me to stop,” he said, his fingers curling into the fabric of your shirt.

you shook your head, your voice steady despite the rush of emotions swirling within you. “i don’t want you to stop, felix. i want you.”

at your words, felix released a shaky breath, his lips curling into a soft, relieved smile that sent a shiver down your spine. slowly, with a tenderness that belied the intensity of the moment, he grasped the hem of your shirt and began to lift it. the fabric slid over your skin with ease, leaving your stomach exposed to the cool air, and you felt your heart pounding like a drum in your chest.

you raised your arms, allowing him to remove the shirt entirely. the loss of its warmth left goosebumps in its wake, your skin tingling from the sudden exposure. felix’s gaze dropped, and you swore you saw his pupils dilate, his golden eyes darkening with something primal, something raw. his breath hitched as his gaze lingered on your bare skin, your braless chest rising and falling with each shallow breath. the chill of the room had already peaked your nipples, and the sight seemed to unravel him further.

a low, guttural sound escaped him, almost like a growl, as he leaned in. his lips brushed against the center of your chest, pressing soft, reverent kisses that made your breath catch. each touch was deliberate, tender, and filled with a worshipful intensity that made your mind spin.

his lips moved slowly, leaving warm trails across your skin as he kissed the delicate curve of one breast, then the other, lingering as though savoring every moment. the sensation sent jolts of heat coursing through your body, your chest heaving under his touch. felix took his time, his lips and hands mapping the contours of your body with a devotion that left you trembling.

your thoughts were a hazy blur, consumed by the realization of how intimate this moment was. felix—the celestial being who had once been tasked with shielding you from harm, who had watched over you like a guardian star—was now here, touching you in ways that felt both sinful and sacred.

his hands, his lips, his every movement felt as though they belonged there, as if this connection between you was meant to be all along. the contrast of what he once was and who he was now only deepened the intensity of the moment.

“i want to see more of you,” felix murmured, his voice low and thick with longing. his hand cupped the underside of your breast, his touch reverent, almost trembling. you met his gaze, your heart fluttering at the vulnerability in his eyes, and nodded slowly, offering him a soft smile.

standing, you reached for the knot on your pajama pants, untying it with shaky hands. felix’s eyes never left you, his gaze intense, watching every movement as if memorizing it. meanwhile, he began unbuttoning his pristine white shirt, the fabric catching slightly against his trembling fingers.

when the shirt finally slipped from his shoulders, you caught your breath. his honey-toned skin glowed faintly under the dim light, a stark contrast to the jagged wounds on his back and the fading bruises across his neck. he winced, a hiss escaping his lips as the shirt grazed the sensitive injuries, but the pain seemed to dissipate the moment his eyes landed on you.

you’d reclined on the bed, your pajama pants now discarded, leaving you in only your underwear. the soft light kissed your skin, highlighting every curve, and felix froze, his heart racing so wildly he thought it might burst.

he moved closer, his hands steady despite the overwhelming emotions coursing through him. leaning down, he pressed a kiss to each of your bent knees, his lips warm and tender against your skin. his hands trailed down your thighs, his fingertips grazing your soft flesh with a featherlight touch, as if afraid he might break you.

“felix?” you spoke, your voice shy and a little hoarse from the intensity of the moment.

“yes, my love?” he murmured, his tone soothing and steady, even as his lips brushed the sensitive skin of your inner thigh.

“how do you…” you hesitated, your cheeks burning as your voice dropped lower, “know what to do? i thought angels couldn’t—”

felix chuckled softly, the sound warm and reassuring. his hands continued their slow, adoring exploration of your skin, his lips hovering just above your thigh. “you’re right,” he said, his voice rich with affection. “angels don’t… but i’ve watched humans for centuries. seen their moments of love, of passion. i may not have experienced it before, but the thought of touching you, of being with you like this…” he paused, lifting his gaze to yours, his golden eyes filled with unwavering devotion. “it’s instinctual. it’s like i was made to know how to love you.”

his words sent a shiver through you, your chest tightening at the raw honesty in his voice. “felix…” you whispered, your hands reaching to cradle his face, your thumb brushing his cheek.

he leaned into your touch, his eyes closing briefly before he pressed a kiss to your palm. “if i’m clumsy or unsure,” he continued, his voice soft, “just tell me. guide me. all i want is to make you feel cherished, loved... whole.”

your heart swelled at his words, and you nodded, sitting up a bit to press your lips to his. “you’re doing everything right,” you assured him, your voice trembling with both nervousness and excitement.

felix’s lips curved into a soft smile against yours before he deepened the kiss, his touch growing more confident as his hands slid back to your thighs. his movements were reverent, as though worshiping every curve of your body. slowly, he shifted above you, breaking the kiss for a moment to meet your eyes, his gaze filled with both tenderness and longing.

one hand slipped down between your legs, his fingers brushing over your mound through the thin fabric of your panties. his golden eyes flickered down to watch his hand, but they quickly returned to your face, searching for your reaction. he pressed down with a little more pressure, the motion drawing a soft gasp from your lips. the sound sent a thrill through him, and a subtle smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth.

felix’s movements became more deliberate, his fingers creating a gentle rhythm as they teased you through the fabric. your hips instinctively rose to meet his touch, grinding against his hand as he followed your lead. the warmth of his palm, the delicate friction, sent sparks of pleasure racing through you.

“can i feel you... underneath?” he asked softly, his voice tinged with a mix of nervousness and desire. a faint blush dusted his cheeks, a charming reminder of his inexperience.

you reached up, threading your fingers through his tousled hair, offering him a reassuring smile. “yes, that’s okay,” you whispered.

he nodded, his lips brushing yours in a tender kiss before his hand slipped beneath the fabric of your underwear. both of your breaths hitched simultaneously as his fingers met your slick heat. the intimacy of the moment made your cheeks flush with warmth, your body responding instinctively to his touch.

felix’s fingers explored you slowly, his movements careful but curious, as though memorizing every contour of your most sensitive place. when he brushed his middle finger against your clit, a moan escaped your lips, your hips jerking slightly in response. the sound sent a jolt through him, his arousal growing, the evidence of his desire pressing against the confines of his pants.

he began to circle your clit, experimenting with pressure and rhythm, his focus entirely on your reactions. every gasp, moan, and shudder guided him, and the connection between you deepened with each passing moment. your breaths became ragged, your body arching into his touch as he expertly worked you closer to the edge.

“felix, i’m gonna... oh my g-god!” you stammered, your voice breaking as waves of pleasure built within you.

he leaned down, pressing kisses to your jaw and neck, his voice low and soothing. “it’s okay, love. let go for me,” he murmured, his words like a lifeline pulling you into bliss.

your orgasm hit with devastating intensity, your body trembling as waves of ecstasy washed over you. your legs shook uncontrollably, your nails digging into his forearm as you cried out, your voice cracking with the force of your release. felix watched you with awe, his heart swelling with pride as he took in the sight of you—your back arching off the bed, your mouth falling open in a silent scream, your entire form glowing with pleasure.

“you’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, his chest tightening at the sight of you undone beneath him. the sheer intensity of your release and the knowledge that he had brought you to this point sent a surge of arousal through him, his own need nearly overwhelming.

as you descended from the peak of your bliss, your chest heaving with each breath, felix leaned in to press a delicate kiss to your temple. his touch was gentle, almost reverent, as his fingers softly brushed a strand of hair from your flushed face. “are you okay, my love?” he asked, his voice low and tender, full of concern.

you nodded, your lips curling into a shy, dazed smile. “mhm… that was… really good,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

a soft chuckle escaped felix’s lips as he carefully withdrew his hand from your panties, his golden gaze dropping to the slick coating his fingers. without hesitation, he brought the digits to his mouth, his lips parting as he sucked them clean with an experimental slowness. his eyes fluttered shut briefly, and when they reopened, they glimmered with darkened desire.

“you taste divine, y/n,” he murmured, his voice rich with admiration and unrestrained hunger.

your cheeks flamed at the sight of him savoring you, but your attention shifted to the noticeable bulge straining against his pants. the sight sent a fresh wave of heat pooling in your stomach, and when your gaze returned to his face, you found him already watching you. his eyes were soft yet filled with a pleading sort of anticipation, his vulnerability laid bare.

“can i…?” you asked cautiously, your hand lightly pressing against the outline of his arousal.

felix’s breath hitched at your touch, his expression briefly contorting, not in discomfort but in a momentary overwhelm at the unfamiliar sensation. “y-yes,” he stammered, his voice shaky. “but… be gentle, please?”

“of course,” you assured him, offering a comforting smile as you carefully guided him to lie back. “just relax. don’t worry about the sheets.”

he followed your guidance, grunting softly as he adjusted his position. though the movement aggravated his healing wounds, felix bit back any complaints, his focus entirely on you. how could he not, when you knelt before him, bare and beautiful, your hands already working to free him from his remaining clothes?

as you tugged his pants down, his erection sprang free, slapping against his toned stomach. you couldn’t help but admire him—his length was flushed a deep pink, the prominent head peeking shyly beneath the extra skin. he was perfect, and undeniably human in this moment.

you leaned down, pressing soft, deliberate kisses along the base of his shaft, your lips trailing up the warm skin. felix’s breathing grew uneven, his golden eyes flickering down to watch you, though he struggled to hold your gaze. his cheeks were painted with a faint blush, his flustered expression only adding to his allure.

“you’re so beautiful,” you whispered against his skin, your voice filled with awe.

felix’s lips parted as if to respond, but the words seemed to catch in his throat, replaced by a soft groan as you kissed the underside of his length. your touch was gentle, tender, as though you understood how new and overwhelming this was for him.

“does this feel okay?” you asked softly, your eyes seeking his for reassurance.

felix nodded quickly, his voice catching as he replied, “yes… it feels incredible.”

encouraged by his soft groans and whispered praises, you continued your delicate exploration, your lips and hands moving with care and devotion. felix’s chest rose and fell in a rhythm that matched the tremors of his breath, his hands clutching the sheets tightly as if anchoring himself to reality.

when your lips wrapped around his length, his entire body jerked slightly in response, a low groan escaping his parted lips. the sound was raw, unrestrained, and it sent a surge of confidence through you. you moved slowly, your mouth warm and wet as you took him deeper, your tongue teasing the sensitive head with deliberate flicks and swirls. with each motion, you made sure to pull the skin back gently, exposing the most sensitive part of him to your ministrations.

“god, y/n… that’s—” his voice cracked, his words dissolving into a panting moan. his abs flexed involuntarily under your touch, and his head fell back onto the pillow, golden hair splayed like a halo. his hands left the sheets to tangle in your hair, his fingers trembling as they brushed against your scalp, though he didn’t pull or guide—he simply held on as if the pleasure was too much to bear alone.

your pace remained steady, your tongue working magic against him as you hollowed your cheeks to increase the intensity. felix’s reactions were mesmerizing—his breath hitched, his thighs quivered, and his lips parted to let out soft, helpless moans. you could feel his arousal building, his body tightening under your touch.

“a-ah… wait!” he suddenly cried out, his voice desperate as his hips tensed.

alarmed, you pulled off immediately, his length slipping from your lips with a wet pop. “felix? did i hurt you?” you asked, your voice laced with concern, your eyes searching his flushed face for any sign of discomfort.

he shook his head quickly, his chest rising and falling with rapid breaths. “n-no, love,” he managed, his voice shaky but reassuring. “you didn’t hurt me. i just… i was getting close, and i… i didn’t want it to end so soon.” his golden eyes, filled with vulnerability and desire, met yours, and he offered a soft, apologetic smile. “i want to feel more with you. all of you.”

his words sent a new wave of warmth through your body, and you leaned up to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “it’s okay, felix,” you murmured against his mouth, your tone soothing. “we’ll go at your pace. i just want to make you feel good.”

felix’s breath hitched as he let out a shaky laugh, his hands cradling your face with a tenderness that seemed almost at odds with the raw desire in his eyes. his golden gaze searched yours as though looking for permission to continue. “you already make me feel incredible,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “but… please, i need to feel you completely. let me… let me be inside you.”

the desperation in his plea made your heart skip a beat, his need evident in the way his length twitched against your skin. “are you sure?” you asked softly, your voice laced with caution and care.

“i’ve never been more sure of anything,” felix replied fervently, his hands trembling slightly as they traced down your sides. before you could say another word, he gently guided you onto your back, his movements deliberate but brimming with urgency.

he tugged at the fabric of your panties, slipping them down and casting them aside, his eyes never leaving yours. the sight of you bare beneath him seemed to stoke his desire even further, his lips crashing into yours with newfound hunger. his knees parted your thighs a little more, positioning himself between them as he kissed you deeply, his tongue exploring yours with a fervor that left you breathless.

your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer. the anticipation was electric, your body taut with expectation. felix pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his hand guiding his aching length to your entrance. “if you need me to stop, just say the word, okay?” he whispered, his tone full of care despite the tension in his voice.

you nodded, biting your lip as your head sank into the pillow, bracing yourself for the moment you had both been yearning for. slowly, felix began to push inside you, his hips trembling as he sank into your warmth. the sensation overwhelmed him instantly—your tight heat surrounding him in a way that made his breath falter and a shudder rack his body.

a gasp escaped your lips as he slid all the way in with one smooth motion, the stretch both surprising and exhilarating. felix braced himself on his forearms, his face hovering just above yours. his eyes fluttered shut, and a whimper escaped his lips as he struggled to stay composed. “god… so tight…,” he muttered, his voice strained as he adjusted to the sensation.

for a moment, he stilled, giving you both a chance to adjust. his gaze returned to yours, full of concern and adoration. “are you okay?” he asked, his voice a whisper.

“y-yeah,” you managed, your voice breathy. “you can move.”

felix exhaled a deep breath and began to roll his hips, starting with a moderate pace. his movements were tentative at first, his eyes fixed on your expression to ensure you were comfortable. but as your gasps turned to soft moans, his confidence grew.

the friction was maddening, his steady rhythm sending waves of pleasure through both your bodies. each thrust drew a mix of grunts and whimpers from felix, his forehead resting against yours as he poured his entire being into every movement. “you feel… so good,” he groaned, his voice shaky with restraint.

your hands found purchase on his back, being cautious of his wounds. your fingers dug into the taut muscles as his pace began to quicken. the pressure was building, both of you lost in the connection that felt as much emotional as it was physical. “felix…” you moaned his name, your legs tightening around his waist as his hips snapped against yours with increasing fervor.

his breathing became erratic, his pace growing desperate as he chased his release. “y/n… i can’t…” he gasped, his body trembling with the effort to hold back.

“it’s okay,” you whispered, your voice tender and encouraging. “let go, felix.”

with a strangled cry, felix buried himself as deeply as he could, his entire body shuddering as his climax overtook him. his hips stilled, pressing tightly against yours as warmth filled you, his groans muffled against your neck as he clung to you like you were his lifeline.

for a long moment, the only sounds in the room were your mingled breaths, the quiet intimacy of the moment enveloping you both. felix finally lifted his head, his flushed face framed by his damp hair, and his eyes met yours with a look of pure devotion. “i love you,” he whispered, the words filled with awe.

your heart swelled, and you reached up to cradle his face. “i love you too, felix.”

as the two of you lay entwined in the quiet aftermath, the world seemed to fall away, leaving only the warmth of his body against yours and the steady rhythm of his breathing. felix’s fingers lazily traced patterns on your skin, his touch grounding and tender. there was a newfound softness in his gaze as he looked at you, a vulnerability that mirrored your own. whatever boundaries had once kept him from you—divine laws, celestial duties, or his own insecurities—had crumbled completely, leaving behind a love that was raw, human, and boundless. in that moment, as you rested your head against his chest, lulled by the sound of his heartbeat, you both understood that this was where you belonged: together, in a love that defied heaven and earth.

©chansdoll do not repost, translate, or copy my works in any way, shape, or form.

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drippingghoneyy · 3 months ago

Text

Unforgettable - Viktor x Fem!Reader

Summary: After a night out with your friends at a bar in the Undercity, Viktor walks you back to your room. Everything is calm until Viktor notices a small tattoo on your hip…

**continuation of “ My Oh My”

Genre/ Pairing: m/f, Viktor x fem!Reader, (Written in Viktor’s POV)

WARNINGS: MDNI! NSFW, smut, pwp, Implied Curvy Reader, Tattoo, alcohol consumption, biology, tension, teasing, grinding, jealousy, possessive!Viktor, dom!Viktor, sub! fem!Reader, dom/sub dynamics, brat, piv, fingering, missionary, unprotected sex, creampie, spanking, big dick Viktor, pet names, begging, scratching, friends-to-lovers, voice kink, obedience kink, nipple play, bondage (mentioned), degradation, claiming, "whore”, “slut”, “sir” .. (lmk if I missed any!)

Word Count: looong. 9.7k.

Notes: *I needed more filler and thought the tattoo idea was cute. It also connects things in a little bit. *sweet boy ruins it at the end, well kinda *I feel like curvy fem biology assistant x Viktor will be a common theme in some of my work. They will not be connected... *I tried to continue from Viktor's POV, and I don't quite like the ending. *This is the 3rd smut I've ever written so be kind. Where can I improve? what did you like? what did you not? Reblog and like!! I read all of them, they make my whole day!

If you find any spelling errors, no you didn't. Grammarly don’t fail me now 🙂 If you don't like nsfw content, please don't read it!

You grabbed my hand before pulling me along with your group of friends as you started to leave the bar, hidden away in the Undercity.

The trip back to the academy seemed to pass in a blur, the cobblestone streets of the undercity a stark contrast to the gleaming spires of our academic sanctuary. The warmth of your hand in mine was a lifeline, a connection to the reality of the world outside this bar, and I held onto it tightly, my thoughts spiraling out of control.

As we approached the grand archway that marked the entrance to the academy, you leaned into me, the alcohol in your system making your movements a little sloppier than usual. "V," you shouted over the noise of the city, "walk me back to my room?"

The request was simple, but the implications were vast. At that moment, I knew that the lines of our friendship were about to be redrawn. I nodded, my heart racing, and as the group split off, Jayce and your best friend exchanged knowing smiles, the kind that said they'd been waiting for this moment for a long time….

As we walked through the dimly lit hallways of the academy, the echo of our footsteps seemed to amplify the silence between us. The scent of your perfume mingled with the faint odor of the undercity, a heady combination that made me want to devour you whole. I allowed myself to look over you, really look at you, for the first time that night.

The tight skirt and revealing top you had chosen for the night out highlighted your curves in a way that was both tantalizing and infuriating. The way your hips swayed with every step was a silent invitation that I was desperate to accept. The undercity had brought out a side of you that I had never seen before, a side that was as alluring as it was dangerous.

We reached your door, the hallway dimly lit by flickering candles. You fumbled with the lock, your hands unsteady from the drinks. "Let me," I murmured, taking the key from your trembling hand. The lock clicked open, and the door swung wide, revealing the sanctity of your private space.

As I stepped inside, the reality of what had transpired in the Undercity bar began to sink in. I couldn't help but question if the fiery, flirtatious woman who had danced so seductively for me was the same person I knew as the sweet, shy assistant. The walls of the academy felt like they were closing in around us, a stark contrast to the openness of the undercity streets.

The room was a reflection of your academic life, filled with books and notes, a stark contrast to the seductive figure you had presented earlier. The scent of ink and paper filled the air, a comforting embrace that only served to amplify the tension between us. You turned to me, your eyes searching mine, a hint of vulnerability peeking through the mask of confidence you had worn all night.

Was it all just an act? A part of you that you had allowed to surface for a brief moment before retreating back into your shell? Or had the under city truly changed you, unearthing a side that craved attention, that desired to be seen and claimed?

You stepped closer, the warmth of your body radiating through the fabric of our clothes. Our eyes met, and for a moment, I could see the under city in yours, a wild, untamed place where the rules were different. The shy, reserved assistant I knew had been replaced by a woman who was unapologetic in her desire. But was this the real you, or a facade you wore for the night?

"I had a great time tonight," you said, your voice a soft purr that made my skin tingle. "I'm so happy you came."

"Are you?" I asked, my voice low and gruff. "Or are you just happy to have your knight in shining armor come to rescue you?"

You smirked, a hint of challenge in your eyes. "Maybe a little bit of both," you admitted, your hand sliding up my chest. "But mostly I'm just happy to see you."

The air grew thick with anticipation as I searched your eyes, and the realization hit me like a bolt of lightning. You had seen me watching you, had felt my gaze on you all night long. The smirk playing on your lips grew wider as your hand slid up my chest, your thumb brushing against the neckline of my shirt. The heat from your touch sent shockwaves through my body, making my breath hitch in my throat.

"Viktor," you whispered, your eyes sparkling with mischief, "you didn't come to pick us up with Jayce, did you?"

I swallowed hard, unable to find the words to lie to you. The truth was written all over my face, a blend of desire and possessiveness that I had been unable to hide.

"I... I was worried about you," I finally managed to say, my voice a rough admission of the emotions I had been trying to keep at bay all evening.

Your smirk grew wider, and you stepped closer, your breasts brushing against my chest. "Worried, or jealous?"

The question hung in the air between us, a silent dare that sent a shiver down my spine. I knew what you were doing, the way you were testing me, pushing my boundaries. You had seen the hunger in my gaze, the way I had devoured you with my eyes as you danced, and now you wanted me to admit it. You wanted me to confess that I hadn't just been watching over you for your safety, but because I couldn't take my eyes off the woman you had become in the Undercity's embrace.

Your eyes searched mine, looking for the truth that was written plainly on my face. You knew me too well, knew that my desire for you was something that had been simmering beneath the surface for years, a secret that I had kept locked away. But as the night had worn on, as I had watched you flirt and laugh and sing, the lock had begun to rust, the key turning in the tumbler.

You stepped closer still, your hand now resting on my chest, your thumb tracing lazy circles on my skin. "I know you were watching me," you whispered, your breath hot against my ear. "I could feel your eyes on me all night."

Something within me snapped, the last thread of restraint giving way. I pulled you into me, my hands gripping your hips with a fierce possessiveness that I hadn't felt in years.

"You were such a slut," I murmured into your ear, the words coming out harsher than I intended. "Every move, every laugh, every glance."

Your eyes widened, a flicker of surprise crossing your features, but it was quickly replaced by a smoldering desire that mirrored my own.

"Was I?" you whispered back, your voice a challenge.

With a growl, I crushed my mouth to yours, the kiss rough and demanding. Your body melted into mine, your arms wrapping around my neck as we devoured each other. The taste of the undercity still lingered on your lips, a tantalizing blend of sweetness and danger. I knew then that I couldn't fight it anymore. I wanted you, all of you, the shy professor and the wild creature of the night.

Your hand found its way to my cane, wrapping around the cool metal as if it were an extension of my body. You used it to pull me closer, the strength in your grip surprising. The cane clattered to the floor, forgotten as our kiss deepened, your nails digging into my skin. I didn't need it to stand anymore; your embrace was all the support I needed.

Our tongues fought a passionate battle, tasting and exploring each other with a fervor that was long overdue. The sweetness of your mouth, mixed with the faint tang of alcohol and the bitter taste of the coffee we'd shared earlier, was an intoxicating cocktail that had me reeling and hungry for more. Your moan was music to my ears, a symphony of desire that had been bottled up for far too long.

My hands found their way to your ass, the soft flesh beneath my fingertips sending shockwaves through my body. I had dreamed of this moment for years, imagining the way you'd feel in my arms, and reality was so much better than my wildest fantasies. You arched into my touch, your body begging for more as we continued.

With every squeeze, you moaned a little louder, the sound of your pleasure music to my ears. The fabric of your skirt was thin, offering little resistance as I explored your curves with an insatiable hunger.

Each rub of my palm against your skin pulled more noises from you, and the feeling of your ass in my hands was intoxicating. The confidence you had displayed in the bar was now melting away, leaving behind a need that was raw and undeniable.

I broke the kiss, leaving us both panting messes. Eyes dark with desire, raked over me, drinking in the sight of my flushed cheeks and swollen lips. A smirk played on your face as you leaned in to whisper, "Did you enjoy the show?" The jealousy from earlier still lingered like a dark cloud, but it had transformed into something else entirely—possession.

"You put on quite the performance," I replied, my voice a low rumble of approval. "But remember, you're mine." My words were a declaration, a stark contrast to the gentle academic who had taught you so much. In this moment, I was of the undercity, the man who had claimed you long ago.

Your eyes widened a fraction, a spark of surprise followed by a smoldering heat. "Is that so?" You challenged, your voice a breathy whisper. The way you leaned into me, pressing your body closer, told me that you didn't just enjoy the show, you reveled in the power it gave you. But I wasn't about to let you think you had the upper hand for long.

"You know it," I said, my voice a low, commanding growl that seemed to resonate through the very fabric of the room. "Every move, every smile, every sway of your hips was for me." I slapped your ass, the sound echoing through the room like a declaration of war. The cheek flushed a deeper red under the sting, and you gasped, your eyes lighting up with a mix of shock and arousal.

I took a step back, allowing you to process the sensation, watching as you bit your bottom lip, your eyes never leaving mine. Your breaths grew shallow, your chest rising and falling with the effort of keeping your emotions in check. I could see the wheels turning in your mind, the desire to submit to me, to let go of the control you had clung to so tightly all evening.

As the sting began to fade, I reached out, my hand gentle as it traced the outline of the red handprint on your skin. You trembled under my touch, your eyes never leaving mine as I took in the sight of your body's reaction to my claim. It was a heady feeling, one that made me feel alive in a way I hadn't felt in years. The scent of your desire filled the air, a potent aphrodisiac that had me aching to possess you fully.

Your breaths grew shallower, your chest rising and falling in a tantalizing rhythm that matched the beat of the music still pulsing through my veins. The way your eyes searched mine was a silent question, one that I was more than eager to answer. I leaned in, my lips brushing against your ear as I whispered, "You're mine, and I'll never let anyone else touch you like that."

The words seemed to unleash something within you, and you pushed into my touch, your hips rolling against my hand. I watched with a hunger that was barely contained, the way your eyes rolled back in your head as you moaned. Your reaction was everything I had hoped for and more, your body begging for the release that only I could give you.

"Viktor," you whispered, your voice trembling with need. "I want... I need..."

Your confidence was slipping away, and in its place was a vulnerability that was almost painful in its beauty. I stepped closer, my other hand coming up to cradle your cheek, my thumb brushing away a stray strand of hair. "What do you need, little one?" I asked, my voice gentle despite the raging desire within me.

You looked up at me, your eyes wide with a mix of want and fear, but couldn't quite look up at him. "I... I want you to fuck me," you managed to get out, your voice shaking with need. The words were a declaration, a surrender to the passion that had been simmering between us for so long.

Her grip on my hand tightened as I took a step closer. "Are you sure?" I murmured, voice a gentle rumble. "I don't want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable."

"I'm sure," you said, the conviction in your voice leaving no room for doubt. "I want you, Viktor."

The walls of the academy seemed to close in around us, the air thick with the tension of unspoken desires. I felt a thrill run through me at the thought of claiming you here, now, but I knew better than to let that happen. Instead, I leaned in, my lips capturing yours in a kiss that was as sweet as it was demanding. You melted into me, your body fitting against mine as if we had been made for this exact moment.

Breaking away from your mouth, I whispered, "Take me to your room." The command was soft, but the urgency in my tone left no room for argument.

You nodded, your cheeks flushed with excitement, handing me my cane before leading the way through your room. The sound of your high heels clicking against the stone floor was like a seductive promise of what was to come.

As you opened the door, the warm glow of candlelight spilled into the hallway, revealing a sanctuary of knowledge. Books and stacks of paper piled high, creating a labyrinth of wisdom that was quintessentially you.

Yet amidst the chaos, your bed stood out like an oasis, large and soft, the pristine soft green sheets a stark contrast to the dark wooded frame. It was a beacon of comfort in a sea of scholarly ambition, and it was here that my darkest desires took root.

For a brief moment, the image of you, bound to that very headboard with silken cords, flashed through my mind. Your wrists and ankles tied to the four posts, your body stretched out and offered to me like a sacrifice to some ancient deity of lust. But tonight was not the night for such games. Tonight was about claiming what was mine, about showing you the depth of my hunger and the intensity of my need.

The room smelled faintly of coffee and vanilla, a scent that was as comforting as it was arousing. As you led me through the maze of your academic sanctuary, the sight of your bed brought forth a deluge of impure thoughts. It was a stark contrast to the rest of the room, a bastion of comfort in the chaos of your intellectual world. The dark wooded frame of the bed was a silent sentinel, watching over us as we approached.

My gaze lingered on the bed, the images of you bound and at my mercy playing in my mind. We stepped closer to the bed, and you turned to face me, your eyes searching my face for a hint of the desires that I had kept hidden for so long. I knew that you saw the hunger in my gaze, the raw need that had been building since the moment I had laid eyes on you in that undercity bar.

You reached up to my face, your hand shaky with anticipation. "Viktor," you whispered, your voice a soft caress against my skin. "I trust you."

With those three words, you had given me the world. I knew that this was a pivotal moment, one that would change the course of our relationship forever. The academy had been our sanctuary, a place where we had built a foundation of friendship and respect. But tonight, in the dim candlelight of your room, the undercity had followed us, bringing with it a passion that neither of us could ignore.

Gently, I pushed you backward, my hands guiding you until the backs of your legs hit the bed. You sat down, and I knelt before you, taking your hands in mine. The fabric of your skirt was still rucked up a bit around your hips, revealing the lacy dark red underwear. Only a peek but, I assume that they left little to the imagination. I kissed the inside of your wrists, feeling the pulse of your excitement against my lips.

"You think it'll be this easy to get me on my knees again?" I chuckled darkly, my eyes never leaving yours. "You're going to have to work much harder than that, my dear."

The laugh that bubbled out of me was a mix of nerves and excitement. You blushed, looking away for a moment before meeting my gaze with a playful smirk. "Is that so?" you challenged, lifting your chin in defiance.

My hands slid up your legs, my thumbs tracing the sensitive skin just beneath the edge of your underwear. "You see, the thing is, my sweet," I murmured, my eyes locked onto yours, "you're used to being in control here, aren't you?" Your cheeks flushed at the accusation, but the spark in your gaze told me that you didn't disagree.

You nodded, meant only as a tease, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. "But tonight," I continued, "tonight, the roles are reversed." With a quick tug, I pulled your skirt up over your hips, revealing the dark red lace panties that matched your bra. "And if you think I'll let you sit in judgment of me again, you're mistaken."

My eyes fell to the spot where your thigh met your hip, and I saw it—a small, delicate tattoo that read "unforgettable." It was almost as if it were a brand, a mark of ownership that sent a jolt of possessiveness through me.

I couldn't resist the urge to run my thumb over the inked skin, feeling the indentation of the letters. The sight of it, so unexpected yet fitting, was like a siren's call to the depths of my desire.

You gasped, your eyes fluttering shut as I touched the tattoo. "Viktor," you breathed, your voice a tremble of pleasure. "What are you doing?"

"Claiming what's mine," I murmured, the words slipping out before I could stop them. The tension in the room grew palpable as I traced the word with the pad of my thumb, the smoothness of your skin contrasting with the roughness of the ink. The sight of it, so intimate and personal, was like a declaration of war on my self-control.

"Is that what you think this is?" you whispered, your voice a mix of challenge and seduction. "Claiming?"

I met your gaze, my eyes dark with desire. "You know it is." My hand slid up your thigh, my thumb continuing to caress the tattoo as I leaned in, my breath hot against your skin. "You're mine, and I want everyone to know it."

You bit your bottom lip, your eyes fluttering shut for a moment as you considered my words. "Everyone?" The challenge in your voice was unmistakable, and the smoldering heat between us grew.

"Everyone," I reaffirmed, my thumb still lingering over your "unforgettable" tattoo. The word was like a brand on your skin, a declaration that no one would ever forget who you belonged to. "Everyone who dares to look at you, to think they know you, will see that you're mine."

You took a sharp breath in, the implications of my words sinking in. I could see the conflict playing out on your face, the struggle between your academic persona and the woman who craved to be claimed. But as my thumb swiped over the ink again, the decision was made. You leaned back, your body arching slightly, giving me better access to the treasure hidden beneath the fabric.

"Viktor," you whispered, a hint of amusement in your voice, "you really are dense sometimes." Your laugh was like a cool breeze on a hot summer's day, sending a shiver down my spine as your eyes searched mine for understanding. "That tattoo...it's not about someone else claiming me."

I felt a rush of relief and something else, something deeper that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I leaned in closer, my hand still resting on your hip, my thumb pressing into the word "unforgettable" once more, slightly harder than before.

As I did, a soft whine of desire slipped from your lips.

Suddenly, I was transported back to one of those late nights in the lab, the kind that felt like forever ago. Your hair had been pulled back into a messy bun, strands of it sticking to your forehead as you squinted into a microscope. It had been a rough week for you, the kind where the pile of assignments and projects had grown to a mountainous height, and the endless stream of faculty meetings had left you drained. But there you were, in your element, the soft hum of the machines lulling us both into a rhythm of focused work.

The lab had been our sanctuary, a place where we could be ourselves without the prying eyes of Piltover society. The room was bathed in the soft blue light of the monitors and the occasional beep of the heart rate monitors. The scent of antiseptic and the faint odor of formaldehyde were the only interruptions in the otherwise quiet space.

It was in this serene environment that the sound of shattering glass pierced through the air, jolting me out of my thoughts. I whipped my head around, the cane clutched in my hand as I searched for the source of the disturbance. My eyes fell upon you, standing still as a statue, your eyes squeezed shut in what could only be an attempt to process the chaos you had just wrought. In your hand, a delicate shard of what had once been a beaker, the remnants of some experiment you'd been working on.

As I took a step towards you, the pieces of glass crunched beneath my feet. My eyes locked onto the trail of tears that streaked down your cheeks, glinting in the candlelight like diamonds. "You're crying?" I asked, the words barely a whisper.

Panic flooded my chest as I saw the tears on your face, your eyes screwed shut tightly as if trying to hold back the deluge of emotions threatening to spill over. My legs propelled me forward, the cane forgotten as I reached for you, the need to comfort and protect you overriding everything else. "You're crying?" I managed to get out, the words a jumble of concern and disbelief.

My heart hammered in my chest as I took the shard of what had remained of your beaker out of your hand, carefully to ensure there was no broken glass, tossing it aside. "What happened?" I asked, my voice thick with concern. "Are you okay?"

You took a shaky breath, your chest rising and falling rapidly beneath your shirt. "I'm fine," you said, your voice too calm, too collected for the storm of emotions I could see playing out on your face. But the tremor in your voice gave you away. "It was just an accident."

"No, you're not," I said firmly, pulling you into my arms. Your body was stiff against mine, a stark contrast to the softness of your skin. "What's wrong?"

For a moment, you remained silent, your breath hitching in your throat as if you were fighting back a sob. Then, like a dam breaking, the floodgates opened, and the words spilled out in a torrent of despair. "I can't do this, Viktor," you whispered against my chest, the warmth of your breath seeping through my shirt. "I'm not good enough. All of my work, all of the late nights, the experiments, the research—it's all for nothing."

I held you tighter, my heart breaking at the sound of your anguish. "What do you mean?" I prodded gently, my voice a soft caress against your hair.

"Everything," you said, the word coming out as a choked sob. "I can't keep up with the research, the expectations... I'm not... I'm not as good as they think I am." Your voice broke, the dam of your composure shattering into a thousand pieces at my feet.

I pulled you away from me slightly, holding your waist and looking into your tear-stained eyes. "You are amazing," I said with all the conviction I had. "The work you've done, the knowledge you hold, it's mesmerizing." I couldn't believe the words I was speaking, the raw emotion that was spilling out of me. It was like I had been holding in a tsunami, and now the levee had broken. My thumb pressed into your hip gently, the gesture a silent reassurance amidst the storm of doubt swirling in the room.

Pulling you away from me slightly, I held onto your waist, keeping you close while still giving you space to breathe. "This is just a moment of weakness," I reassured you, my eyes never leaving yours. "And that's okay. We all have them."

I wiped a tear from your cheek with the pad of my thumb. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what," I promised. "Whenever you need me, I'll be here."

The air was charged with unspoken words and the electricity of our shared moment. You looked up at me, your eyes glistening with unshed tears and hope. "Viktor," you whispered, the sound of my name on your lips sending a bolt of desire through me, "I've worked so hard, and sometimes it feels like it's all for nothing."

"Never," I said fiercely, my hand tightening on your hip. "Your work, your dedication, it's not just noticed—it's etched into the very fabric of this world. The mark you've left on science, on the minds of those who dare to dream of a better tomorrow, it's permanent."

My thumb pressed into your skin, resonating with each beat of your pulse beneath it, a soft whine falls from your lips,. "You're not just a professor, not just a researcher," I said, my voice thick with emotion. "Your work is etched into the very fabric of this world, and it will never be forgotten. You are unforgettable."

The memory of the undercity bar, the sound of your laughter, the way your hips had swayed in that dress, it all came rushing back. You had been mine all along, and now, in this moment of vulnerability, the truth was laid bare. The word "mine" echoed through my mind, a feral growl of possession that I hadn't felt since the days when the undercity was all I knew.

As the haze of the past cleared, my grip on your waist tightened, my thumb pressing harder into your skin as the reality of your words hit me like a blow. You were in pain, feeling lost and unseen, and all I wanted was to be the one to show you how wrong you were. You were so much more than you thought, so much more than the sum of your fears and doubts.

The control that I had held onto so tightly began to slip away as the word "mine" reverberated through my mind like the tolling of a bell. I had tried to keep my desires buried beneath layers of academic decorum, but in the face of your vulnerability, I was undone. My thumb pressed into your skin, the word "unforgettable" now a brand of ownership in my mind, as the possessiveness I had felt in the bar grew.

You leaned into my touch that I hadn't cared to realize I tightened, your breath catching as you looked down at me, your eyes filled with a mix of amusement and something darker, something that mirrored the hunger in my gaze. "You do remember," you said with a laugh, the sound of it like a siren's song.

I looked up at you, my pupils blown wide with desire. The control I had so carefully cultivated around you, the walls I had built to keep my feelings at bay, were crumbling like ancient ruins before an unstoppable force. The room spun around us, the only anchor the beat of your pulse under my thumb.

"Of course I do," I murmured, my voice thick with need. "How could I forget, what's mine?" I leaned in, my dark smile growing as I licked a slow, deliberate path along the edge of your underwear, tracing the line of your hip where the ink met your skin. The taste of you, the scent of you, it was intoxicating.

With a gentle bite to the sensitive flesh of your hip, I whispered, "You're mine." The words were a declaration, a promise, and a threat all rolled into one, and as you shivered in response, I knew you felt the gravity of them. Your pupils dilated with desire, the same emotion that was raging through me like a tempest.

"Say it," I demanded, my voice a low growl that seemed to vibrate through the very air around us. "Tell me you're mine."

You looked at me, the playfulness in your eyes replaced by a smoldering heat. "Viktor," you breathed, your voice a caress that sent a shiver down my spine. "I am yours."

It was like a dam had burst within me. The control I had fought so hard to maintain shattered into a million pieces, leaving in its wake a primal need to claim you, to make you scream my name as you climaxed. My hand slid up to the waistband of your underwear, and with a swift tug, I exposed your nakedness to my eager gaze.

"Viktor," you gasped as I leaned in, my mouth closing over the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, your legs spread wide before me. The taste of you was intoxicating, the sweetness of your arousal a siren's call that I couldn't resist. My tongue traced the path my thumb had taken moments before, each touch sending a jolt of pleasure through your body that had you writhing against me.

As I kissed my way up to the apex of your thighs, you whispered my name, your voice a mix of desperation and need. "V," you pleaded, your breath hot against my ear, "make me yours."

The words were like a key unlocking the floodgates of my restraint. I could feel the urges I had kept caged for so long breaking free, the need to claim you, to show you who you truly belonged to, coursing through my veins like liquid fire.

My finger trailed over the slick wetness between your legs, the sound of your gasp echoing through the room like the sweetest symphony. "Look at you," I murmured, a smirk playing on my lips as I took in the sight of your arousal. "So eager, so needy. You really are a whore for me, aren't you?"

The word "whore" hung in the air like a challenge, a dirty, beautiful word that sent a shiver of excitement through your body. You squirmed under my gaze, your cheeks flushing a delicious shade of red.

But instead of protest, a low, needy moan slipped from your lips as I teased you, my finger grazing over the slick folds of your sex through your panties, the ones you wore just for me.

The sound was like music to my ears, a sweet symphony of desire that only served to fuel my own. Your hips bucked involuntarily, trying to chase my touch, and I couldn't help but laugh darkly at your eagerness.

"Look how wet you are for me," I murmured, the smugness in my voice unmistakable as I felt the heat of your arousal seep through the fabric of your panties. My finger drew a lazy circle around the spot that made your breath hitch, the fabric growing damper by the second. "It's like you're begging for it."

Your eyes widened, a mix of shock and pleasure as I chuckled darkly. "V…," you protested weakly, though the arch of your back and the way your legs fell open wider spoke volumes.

"Don't bother," I said, a wicked smile playing on my lips as I pulled your underwear to the side. "You can't hide from me." My finger continued its dance, now sliding over your slick skin, teasing your clit with feather-light touches that had you gasping and squirming beneath me. "You're so eager, so desperate for my touch."

Your eyes snapped to mine, a challenge in their depths. "Is that what you think?" you whispered, your voice a challenge. But the way your hips rocked into my hand told me the truth, and the smell of your arousal was like a drug, making my head spin and my cock throb.

"You're so wet, so ready," I taunted, my voice dropping to a growl as I watched you react to my every touch. "Tell me how much you want me."

Your eyes fluttered shut, your voice a breathy moan as my finger found the spot that made your toes curl. The sound of your need filled the room, a symphony of desire that had my cock straining against my pants. You were so wet for me, and the smug satisfaction that filled me was like a drug.

"Please," you begged, your voice a whimper that sent a shiver down my spine. But I wasn't done teasing you, not yet. I leaned in closer, my breath hot against your skin as I whispered, "What do you want, my little whore?"

You arched your back, pushing yourself closer to my touch. "You," you moaned, the word a desperate plea that had my pulse racing. "I want you."

With a chuckle, I slipped my finger inside you, feeling the warmth of your desire clench around me. You gasped, your eyes flying open to meet mine, filled with a mix of shock and pleasure. "

"See?" I murmured, my voice a dark purr of satisfaction. "You're begging for it, aren't you?"

Your cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red as you tried to push down the embarrassment. Whining in protest, your voice a breathless whisper that sent shivers down my spine. But your body betrayed you, arching into my touch, silently begging for more.

"So wet," I repeated, my thumb now circling your clit in a steady rhythm as my finger pumped in and out of you. "So desperate." Your breath came in short, ragged gasps, and I could feel the tension building in your body. "You're going to come for me, aren't you?"

Your eyes snapped to mine, a mix of anger and desire in their depths. "Viktor," you warned, your voice a whip crack in the quiet room.

"No," I said, my voice firm as I continued my relentless assault on your clit. "that isn't how you address me, you know that love,"

Your eyes widened, the challenge in them flickering before being replaced by a mix of lust and submission. "Sir," you corrected, your voice a breathy whine that had me smirking in victory.

"Much better," I said, my voice a dark promise as I added another finger, stretching you around me. You were so tight, so warm, and the way you clenched around me was like a fist to my heart. I could feel the tension coiling tighter.

Your breath was coming in short, sharp gasps now, your eyes locked onto mine as I picked up the pace, my thumb circling your clit in a relentless rhythm. "Sir...," you moaned, the sound like a sweet symphony of need that had me fighting to keep from losing control. But I had to claim you, all of you, in this moment.

With a final, hard press of my thumb, I watched as your orgasm crashed over you, your body tightening around my fingers as you screamed my name. The sound of your pleasure was like a battle cry, echoing through the room and sending shockwaves of desire through my body. But before you could fully come down from your high, I pulled my hand away, licking the sweetness of your arousal from my fingers with a smug smirk.

The taste of you was intoxicating, a heady mix of salt and sweetness that made me crave more. It was like a drug, a delicacy that I hadn't had the pleasure of indulging in before. My eyes never left yours as I savored the flavor, watching the way your pupils dilated with every slow lick.

"I apologize for not taking my time," I said, the words a dark promise as I leaned over you. "But I need you, sweetness."

You nodded, eyes glazed with pleasure, your swollen lips parted in a silent plea for more. The sight of you, sprawled out on the bed, had me aching with a need that was almost painful. My hands moved to my waist, unbuckling my pants with a swiftness that was almost violent. The sound of the leather protesting, like a gunshot in the quiet room, echoing through the air like a declaration of war.

I stepped out of my pants, my cock springing free, thick and hard with desire for you. The fabric of my boxers strained against my erection, a testament to the depth of my need for you. You watched with hooded eyes, your chest rising and falling with each ragged breath, your own arousal evident in the way your breasts heaved.

With a predatory grace, I moved over you, my knees pushing your legs wider apart. You didn't protest, didn't say a word, just nodded, your eyes glassy with the aftershocks of your orgasm.

The sight of your swollen lips and the soft gasp that escaped when you caught a glimpse of my cock straining against my boxers sent a bolt of pure desire through me. I knew what you needed, what we both needed, and I was more than ready to give it to you. Oh but look at you, I thought, what's another few minutes..

Pulling myself to you, my mouth claimed yours in a kiss that was all fire and heat, the taste of your arousal still lingering on my tongue. Our tongues fighting together, which seemed to go on forever, our breaths mingling as I explored every inch of your mouth. You moaned into the kiss, the sound vibrating against my lips and sending a shiver down my spine.

As we broke apart, I took a moment to appreciate the sight before me. Your bra was a thing of beauty, a delicate scrap of fabric held together at the front, that had barely contained the perfection that was your breasts. With a flick of my wrist, I undid the clasp, and the garment fell away, revealing you to me in all your glory.

Your breasts spilled out, hardening under my gaze. I took one in my mouth, suckling gently as you gasped, your hands threading into my hair. The taste of your arousal still lingered on my lips mixing with the sweetness of your skin, causing me to groan against you.

You were so responsive, your body arching into my touch, your nails digging into my scalp as I kissed and licked my way down your neck, my teeth grazing against your collarbone.

Your breath hitched as my hands slid down to the waistband of my boxers, and with a swift tug, they were gone. My cock sprang free, hot and heavy with the need for you. I positioned myself between your legs, my knees pressing into the bed, and with one hand, I guided the tip of my cock to your slick entrance.

The anticipation was palpable, the air thick with the scent of our desire. With every shallow thrust, you could feel the head of my cock teasing your entrance, the velvety heat of you begging for more. I watched as your eyes rolled back in your head, a soft mewl escaping your lips with every pass, the sound like a symphony to my ears.

My hand found your neck, gently squeezing as I whispered, "Look at me." Your gaze snapped to mine, the hunger in your eyes matching my own. "You're mine," I said, the words a declaration that sent a shiver down your spine.

As I pushed into you, the sensation was overwhelming. You were so tight, so hot, like nothing I had ever felt before. It was like coming home, like finding the missing piece of myself that I had been searching for all my life. Your walls stretched around me, welcoming me in with a sweet embrace that was more than I could've ever hoped for.

The stretch, the feeling of you around me, consuming me in a way that nothing ever could. Your eyes widened, a silent gasp escaping as I filled you completely, and I watched as the pleasure painted your features, a masterpiece that was solely mine to behold.

Your nails dug into my back, leaving white-hot trails of pain that only served to heighten the pleasure. The sound of your wetness was like a siren's call, a sweet symphony of desire that had me fighting to keep my pace slow, to savor every second of this moment.

"Please...," you breathed, the sound of your voice like a sweet caress against my skin. But I wasn't done speaking, not yet.

"You're so tight," I murmured, my voice thick with lust as I felt every inch of you squeeze around me. "So perfect."

With a smirk, I began to move, my hips rolling in a slow, deliberate rhythm that had you arching up to meet me, your nails digging into the flesh of my back. "Is this what you want, sweetness?" I taunted, my voice low and gruff. "Me, claiming you, making you scream my name?"

Your response was a whimper, your eyes glazed with a mix of pleasure and desperation. "Yes," you whispered, the word barely audible. "More."

I chuckled, the sound dark and possessive as I leaned down, my mouth brushing against your ear. "You want more?" I whispered, the words a promise and a threat all in one. "Beg for it."

Your breath hitched, your body trembling beneath me. "Please," you whimpered, the word a needy plea that had me smiling against your skin. "More, sir."

The way you said "sir", whining so desperately for me, was like a knife to my restraint, the last thread snapping under the weight of your need. My hips began to move faster, my cock sliding in and out of you with a wet, filthy sound that had us both gasping.

"You're mine," I said, the words a declaration that seemed to echo through the room. "Mine to take, mine to use."

Your moans grew louder as I picked up the pace, my cock driving into you with a fervor that seemed to shake the very foundations of the room. "That's it," I murmured, my voice a dark purr in your ear, "Take it all, my sweet little whore."

The sound of my voice, thick with desire and command, seemed to resonate through your body, causing your walls to tighten around me. My grip on your neck tightened only slightly, a silent demand for your absolute surrender, and you gave it to me without hesitation, your eyes rolling back in your head as I filled you completely.

My hips snapped against yours, the force of my thrusts pushing you into the mattress, the sound of our bodies colliding a symphony of passion that seemed to echo through the room. "Look at you," I murmured, my voice low and smug, "Begging for me to fuck you harder."

Your breath hitched, and you whimpered my name, the sound like a sweet curse on your lips. My other hand slid up to cup your breast, my thumb flicking over the hardened peak as I watched you come apart under me.

"You like that, don't you slut?" I whispered, my voice a dark promise as I pushed deeper. "You like it when I talk dirty to you, when I tell you what a good little whore you are." Your eyes snapped to mine, the challenge in them fading into pure, unbridled lust.

With each word, I could feel you tightening around me, your pussy gripping my cock like a vice, as if you were trying to milk every drop of pleasure out of me. "Yes," you breathed, your voice a tremulous whisper that sent a shiver down my spine.

My grip on your neck tightened more, the thrill of power coursing through me as I watched the way your eyes rolled back in ecstasy. "You're so beautiful," I rasped, my voice low and gruff, the sound of my own need echoing in the room. "So fucking beautiful when you come apart for me."

I leaned back, taking in the sight of my cock disappearing into you, the way your pussy clung to me, begging for more. "You're so wet," I said, my voice a dark whisper that seemed to resonate through the room. "So fucking wet, like a river around me."

My hips slammed into you, the sound of our bodies meeting a sweet symphony that seemed to block out everything else. "Look at you," I growled, "taking it all, like the good little slut you are." Your cheeks flushed a delicious shade of pink at the words, your eyes snapping to mine with a mix of anger and arousal that only spurred me on.

Your walls tightened around me, a silent plea for release, and I knew you were close. "Come for me," I demanded, my voice a dark command that seemed to vibrate through your body. "Come on my cock, show me how much you need this."

With a final, brutal thrust, I felt your body shatter around me, your orgasm crashing over you like a wave. Your nails dug into my back, leaving deep, red marks that I knew would bruise and ache for days. The sound of your pleasure was like a siren's call, a sweet symphony of desperation that had me groaning your name.

Your pussy spasmed around me, the sensation like nothing I had ever felt before. "Fuck," I whispered, the word torn from my chest as I felt the beginnings of my own release. "You're so tight, so fucking tight."

As your orgasm began to fade, I slowed my pace, my cock still buried deep within you. I leaned down, my mouth hovering just above yours, my breath hot against your lips. "Again," I murmured, the word a dark promise. "I want to feel you come on my cock again."

Your eyes searched mine, a silent question that had me smiling in victory. "Do it," I said, my voice a gentle command, "make yourself come for me, sweetness."

Your pussy tightens around my length, as you begin to grind into me, setting the rhythm of our hips. The sound of your wetness filled the room, a sweet symphony that had my blood pumping faster. I watched as your hand slipped between us as you touched yourself, the way your eyes fluttered closed and your cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red.

Your fingers danced over your clit, the little nub swollen and begging for attention, and I couldn't help but lean down to kiss you again. The taste of you was addictive, a drug that I never wanted to live without. Your breath was coming in short, sharp gasps as you worked yourself closer to the edge, your hand moving faster, your hips rising to meet me.

The sight of you, so lost in pleasure, so beautifully shameless was like nothing I had ever seen before. The way your breasts bounced with each movement, the way your stomach tightened and your back arched, it was a masterpiece that I could've watched for hours. But I had to be a part of this, had to feel the sweet release that was building within you.

My hand found yours, my fingers entwining with yours as we worked in tandem, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. I felt your pussy spasm around me, the tight grip of your orgasm almost painful, and it was like nothing I had ever felt before. You were so close, so close to coming again, and the power of it was intoxicating.

With every stroke of your hand, I pushed into you harder, my cock swelling with the promise of release. "Come for me," I rasped, my voice a dark demand that seemed to echo through the room. "I want to feel you come apart around me."

Your breath grew ragged, your eyes squeezed shut as you chased your climax. "I'm close," you whimpered, your voice a sweet symphony of need that had me groaning. "please, sir...."

The feeling of your pussy clenching around me, the way your body was trembling with the force of your need was like a drug, a high that I never wanted to come down from. "Come," I whispered again, my voice a dark command that seemed to resonate through your very soul.

And then it was there, the sweet release that had been building for what felt like an eternity. With a scream that seemed to shake the room, you came apart in my arms, your pussy spasming around my cock in a delicious symphony of pleasure. Your nails dug into my shoulders, your legs tightening around my waist as you rode out the waves of your climax.

My own orgasm washed over me, a tsunami of pleasure that seemed to rip through every inch of my being. I could feel my cock pulsing within you, my hot release filling you, marking you as mine. The sensation was like nothing I had ever felt before, a heady mix of power and ecstasy that had me groaning your name against the softness of your neck.

We remained like that for a moment, our bodies trembling in the aftermath, our hearts pounding in a frantic rhythm that seemed to match the beat of a drum. The sweat-slicked between us, a testament to the passion that had just unfolded between us. Our breaths were ragged, mingling in the air as we both tried to come down from the high.

Slowly, I pulled out, the feeling of you clinging to me, the warmth of your pussy like a glove around my softening cock was almost painful. But it was a pain that I reveled in, a sweet agony that reminded me of the power I held over you. Your legs fell open, your pussy glistening with the proof of your desire, and I couldn't help but admire the sight.

You collapsed against me, your body a boneless mess in my arms. The warmth of your skin against mine was like a brand, searing the memory of this moment into my very soul. Your breath was warm and fast against my chest, your heart hammering like a rabbit's, and I knew that you were feeling the same mix of emotions that were coursing through me.

I wrapped my arms around you, holding you close as the aftershocks of our passion continued to ripple through us. Your head lolled against my shoulder, your eyes closed, and for a brief moment, the world outside this room ceased to exist. It was just you and me, our bodies tangled together in a mess of limbs, our breaths mingling in the humid air.

As your breathing slowly evened out, my cock softened, slipping from your warm embrace, leaving a trail of cum between us. The scent of sex hung heavy in the air, a heady perfume that seemed to cling to our skin, a reminder of the intimate dance we had just shared. I could feel the stickiness of it on my stomach, a sweet reminder of your surrender to me.

Your chest rose and fell in a gentle rhythm, the soft puffs of air against my neck sending shivers down my spine. Your body was a delicate, sweat-slicked canvas, a masterpiece of passion that I had been privileged to paint. Each tremble, each gasp was a testament to the power I held over you, a power that seemed to grow with every touch, every shared moment of pleasure.

Our skin was a patchwork of dampness, the sweat that had beaded along your spine now mingling with mine. The feel of your bare breasts pressed against my chest was intoxicating, the softness of your flesh a stark contrast to the firmness of my own body.

With a gentle smile, I kissed you once more, a soft press of my lips to yours, the taste of your passion still lingering. "Thank you," I whispered, the words a benediction, a declaration of victory and surrender all rolled into one. "For letting me have you like this."

You blinked up at me, your eyes still hazed with the afterglow of pleasure. "Thank you," you murmured, the words a soft echo of my own, a gentle acknowledgment of the power I held over you. "For...for making me feel so...happy...."

I chuckled, the sound low and deep in my chest, a rumble that seemed to resonate through the room. "Always, sweetness," I murmured, kissing you once more.

But the moment was short-lived, the reality of our situation crashing back into the room like a tidal wave. The academy, our responsibilities, the fact that we had just crossed a line that could never be uncrossed. I knew that we couldn't stay here, tangled in the sheets, forever.

With a sigh, I pulled away from you, my body already mourning the loss of your warmth. I stood, the cold air of the room hitting my sweat-soaked skin like a slap, and began to dress, my movements efficient and swift. "We can't do this again," I said, the words a heavy weight in my chest.

You sat up, your eyes wide and confused, your cheeks still flushed with the remnants of passion. "What do you mean?" you asked, your voice small and vulnerable.

Turning to face you, I took in the sight of you, naked and beautiful, the evidence of our love-making still glistening on your thighs. "I mean," I began, my voice gruff, "that this can't happen again."

You stared at me, the hurt in your eyes like a knife to my soul. "What, why?" you whispered, the question a plea that I had no answer for.

"Because it's not right," I said, my voice firm despite the tremble in my chest. "We're mentor and student, you're Heimerdinger's protege, and I'm...I'm just a professor."

The words hung in the air like a noose, tightening around my neck with each syllable. I knew that what we had just done was wrong, that it could ruin everything we had worked so hard for. But as I watched the tears begin to spill down your cheeks, I also knew that I didn't want to lose you.

"I can't," I continued, my voice softer now, "I can't risk losing you."

You wiped at your eyes, a sad smile playing at the corners of your mouth. "You won't," you said, the conviction in your voice unshakable. "I'll always be here, i’m yours…."

But as I watched you, the love in your eyes, the trust in your voice, I knew that it was a promise I couldn't keep. "You don't understand," I said, my voice breaking. "This isn't just about us, it's about our futures, about what's right and what's wrong."

You nodded, the understanding in your eyes making my heart ache. "I know," you said, your voice a mere whisper. "But sometimes, Viktor, you have to take a chance, I did..."

I stared at you, the weight of your words like a boulder on my chest. You took the chance...

Could we really risk it all for this? The line we had crossed was thick and indelible, a stark reminder of the boundaries we had shattered. But as your eyes searched mine, filled with fierce determination, I knew that the choice had already been made for us. We were in this together, for better or worse.

"We'll figure it out," I murmured, the words barely leaving my lips as I reached out to brush away the tears that clung to your lashes. The love in your eyes was a siren's call, a promise that I couldn't resist. I knew that I couldn't walk away from this, not now, not after feeling you shatter around me, not after feeling your love in every inch of my being.

"But," I added, my voice firm despite the tumult of emotions that raged within me, "we have to be careful." We had to find a way to navigate the treacherous waters of our newfound relationship without capsizing the ships of our careers and reputations. "We can't let anyone know, not yet."

You nodded, the understanding in your gaze a balm to my frayed nerves. We would keep our secret, our love a hidden treasure that we would share only in the shadows, a guilty pleasure that we could never reveal to the world above.

As we dressed, the air thick with the scent of sex and the unspoken promise of future encounters, I knew that we had set ourselves on a path that was fraught with danger and temptation. But as I watched you pull on your shirt, the fabric clinging to your damp skin, I knew it was a path I was willing to walk...

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