#Oh hey my first analysis post out of countless ones in my head

[phoenixkael]

Analysis of Kael’thas Voice Lines in Shadowlands

Alpha spoilers below the cut. Read at your own discretion.

Alongside Blizzard’s live stream regarding developer updates in Shadowlands, we’ve gotten our usual Wednesday datamining of Shadowlands alpha. Today also marks the very last alpha build, as Blizzard confirms Beta to hit next week. What better way than to end it on a high note. Largely silent aside from boss information in Castle Nathria, Kael’thas now has some voice lines.

And boy, have I over-analyzed this like a kid eating cake.

When I first heard the Accuser’s lines from a few builds back, I already expected Kael’thas to be arrogant, but I never could tell at what level of arrogance or what his personality would be like exactly. Oh god, anything but hots portrayal.

Here we have Kael’thas in Revendreth, distressed and emotionally charged. At first glance, he doesn’t seem remorseful per se, but the fact that the Arbiter placed him in Revendreth instead of the Maw says that his soul is capable of atonement and remorse. At this point in the story, it doesn’t seem like Kael’thas has done a lot of soul searching. He’s coming off of the pride he had before he died, yet he knows he’s in Revendreth and knows he has work to do on himself. He thinks that what he did was right and for his people, but the way he did it was not ideal. It hurt a lot of people, and I don’t think he realizes that yet. He’s feeling very defensive, as evident in one of his lines: “Do not presume to judge me” means to not take someone at face value. You do not know the inner turmoil of another person. This line signifies Kael’thas being defensive. In fact, it makes sense that he comes into the Shadowlands defensive and insecure.

Analysis of Select Lines

Without context, it’s hard to know of what or to whom he is speaking these lines, so I’m generalizing, really. The very first lines in the video above state, “What torment is this? I serve the Lich King? No! That cannot be! Trouble me no longer!” Kael’thas greatly fears that he now serves the Lich King, who in the past is associated with Arthas and the Scourge. Knowing his past trauma there, serving the Lich King in general would put him under extreme pressure. This could quite well be one of many techniques that the Venthyr use to torture him.

In life, Kael’thas had a recurring theme of being a follower instead of the leader he was literally born to be. In fact, he ran from it for the longest time. He served as a member on the Council of Six in Dalaran and while this is a very noble position, it made his people feel distrustful of and alienated from him--and vice versa. Kael’thas had always wanted to forge connections with other people and gain insight into new ideas and places. He was so unlike most of his people, who were isolationist and content enough to marvel in their fair city of Silvermoon. Even his father, King Anasterian, was concerned for his loyalties. Kael’thas would then go on to serve under Garithos during the Scourge invasion, then to Illidan Stormrage in Outland, and finally to Kil’jaeden until his death. His line about Kil’jaeden in partciular is very interesting and very telling about where Kael is in his progress in Shadowlands: “I thought my deal with Kil’jaeden would save the Sin’dorei. But it just got worse all the time!” He expresses anger at having allowed the demon lord to manipulate him so easily, but he won’t express anything but anger and distress.

Now he COULD have admitted defeat and packed everyone up to go home, but then what did he go to Outland for? What would he have come home to empty-handed? He wanted this darker path, which he hesitated to take at first, to mean “something”. He promised to find the cure or salvation for his people (on top of his personal vendetta with Arthas) and he was afraid that he would break had he come home. He did not admit defeat, did not surrender. As brave as he was, his pride spelled his downfall.

Indeed, Kael’thas has always been one to put on a strong front, to appear strong and powerful in the eyes of not only his people but others as well. He is a very insecure man and, thus, uses his pride to mask these insecurities about himself. He does not like to appear weak. In one of the lines, he wants people to address him by his title, the Sun King, a contradictory request as to the one he used to make when he did not want the title out of respect for his father. Also, he always preferred that Jaina not use his titles, but just Kael. This goes to show that Kael hides his insecurity behind his title in the face of certain people for whom he wants to show he is strong. He already believed he won’t be half the king his father was, but he tried his hardest anyway. Notice in a few of the lines that he doesn’t mention MY people or MY brethren, but instead the Sin’dorei. Perhaps he recognizes that the blood elves are their own people and have continued to live without him. We know their story of restoration, and now we head into Kael’thas’s potential restoration where he owes it to them--and ultimately, himself. Maybe just maybe it also spells how much he is worth compared to them. He would give anything to save them, even sell his soul to the very devil himself.

Kael’thas has two quotes that really stood out to me. They’re very intellectual, just as you would expect from someone as intelligent as him, and when you analyze it, speaks of Kael himself but also just people in general.

“I can learn to be humble, but never meek.” He is willing to atone and wants to deep down, but it’s the confrontation of these sins that he doesn’t like. In the raid fight, he clearly has a lot of pent-up shame as referenced by the ability, “Reflection of Guilt.” Kael also makes an excellent point (or analogy?) to not mistake humbleness for weakness. You can be kind and mellow to people, but often people will mistake it for being weak and obedient.

The next line--and I LOVE how he says it--is, “My power is mine to wield.” It’s about owning your own power, about being your own person, and knowing your own self-worth. Don’t let anyone trample over you or make your their slave. Kael’thas experienced this first-hand with Garithos and Kil’jaeden. His people loved him, hence his betrayal (as evidenced by Lor’thenar’s recent short story) still cuts them several years later. They worried for him, but all he could think about as the fel surged through him was how much of a failure he was.  Hell, even Jaina in the Arthas book mentioned how “good” of a man he was, having recognized the beauty of him, which fell to his darker traits. For all that confidence in his magical abilities and charm, Kael’thas tragically never knew how valuable he was as a leader, how worthy he was.

And now we are in Shadowlands where we get to see him with his own role. Blizzard willing, this sounds to be a long personal journey for him. For himself.

[muselover1901]

Re: prompts. “Quarantine.” Alternatively, something based off urban legends. Thanks!

Well it took me forever, but hey, the world is crazy and I am just so proud of myself for finishing this Quarantine AU for you! It’s definitely WAY bigger than a drabble (at just over 2700 words) but I had a lot of fun writing it and it really pushed my abilities as a writer. Thank you for the ask! Enjoy :)

Edit: Now posted to AO3

Here With(out) You

“Are you getting close to finishing? It’s almost eight o’clock and we haven’t eaten dinner yet,” Zen says as he plops down beside Shirayuki—well, not exactly beside her, but just outside the orbit of her ever-present sticky notes, journal articles, and scratch-paper lesson plans. She acknowledges his presence with a noncommittal hum before continuing her vigorous typing on the laptop balanced on her knees. Even before the pandemic, it wasn’t totally unusual for Shirayuki to work late—she is a graduate student, after all—but lately she has been spending every waking hour on either her lab’s vaccine research or creating online lessons for her introductory biology students.

Zen’s work-life balance honestly hasn’t been much better, but since most of his work as the Mayor’s Chief of Staff involves writing reports and attending video call meetings, he can turn off his computer at the end of the day and walk away from work. Shirayuki, unfortunately, does not have the same luxury.

His stomach growls, upset at the lack of food this late in the evening. Zen reaches over, guiding a stray hair behind her ear before setting his palm against her shoulder to get her attention.

“I can make us something easy, if you want. You really should take a break to eat something.”

Shirayuki doesn’t respond. He squeezes her shoulder gently and dips his head to try to catch her gaze, but she reacts with naught but a firm pursing of her lips as she scrutinizes her screen even more. Zen gives her a small shake, as if to wake her.

“Hm?” She blinks up at him, broken from her trance, her voice sounding thin and tired. “Sorry, Zen, I really need to get this done tonight.”

She gestures vaguely to the smudged sticky-note to-do list by her laptop keyboard, the usual tasks of exercise, meal prep, and do something fun with Zen and friends crammed between terms he half-recognizes as different types of data analyses.

“We have our Friday meeting tomorrow and I need to have the preliminary results ready to present.”

“It’s fine,” he says, rubbing his hand up and down her arm and offering her a tender smile as she turns back to her spreadsheet. She is such a hard worker, and right now she’s both working to save lives and to educate the next generation of scientists. Now was not the time to be selfish—even though he misses spending time with her, they just have to push through. And if that means Zen has to cook meals by himself, without Shirayuki’s incredible culinary talent for support, then he will gladly put his limited skill to use.

“How about I make pancakes?” he suggests, “I think we still have some eggs that need to be used, so I could scramble them too—if you want?”

Without looking up, Shirayuki murmurs a dry, “Sounds great, thank you.”

Zen stands and makes his way to their kitchen, rolling up his sleeves as he goes. Even after three years of living together and countless Sundays spent chopping endless armies of vegetables as they prepped meals, there are few dishes he trusts himself to cook properly. It’s Mitsuhide and Kiki’s fault, really. When they were his roommates sophomore year, he tried his hand at a simple vegetable stew to feed Mitsuhide’s hockey team at their annual fall party. The final product honestly wasn’t half bad, but he forgot to peel the vegetables, which gave the soup a mild dirt-like aftertaste.

He honestly thought he would be able to laugh it off and learn from such a minor culinary mistake, but it turned out almost no one was willing to let him live it down—even Shirayuki couldn't resist the occasional jab when they cooked together. Indeed, one of the last times they enjoyed quality time together was during a massive day of meal prepping after their first pandemic shopping trip. Hours of chopping and grating and sautéing had driven them a little crazy, and Shirayuki had broken out in giggles while he diligently peeled his seventeenth potato.

It had taken some prodding, but eventually she managed to hold back her laughter enough to snicker, "It’s nice of you to actually peel them this time."

He’d responded with the most convincing glare he could muster before selecting a particularly long piece of peel from the pile on the counter, turning to her with a dangerous smirk, and depositing said peel on top of her head. This only served to bring back her laughter in full-force, the contagiousness of it gripping him and dragging him along until their whole house reverberated with the ridiculousness of it all.

Unlike vegetable soups, Zen had yet to mess up a batch of pancakes in his lifetime, a fact which he was quite proud of. That’s why he’d chosen to make them for Shirayuki the first morning after she stayed the night at his place. They’d groggily rolled out of bed, blushing furiously as they realized that their late-night study session for Advanced Composition had ended with both of them passed out on top of Zen’s covers with their laptops discarded by the foot of the bed. He’d insisted on making her breakfast before she left, partly because he felt bad about their awkward start to the day, but mostly because he’d been smitten with her for months and he just wanted to keep doing things with her.

Zen smiles at the memory as he gathers the ingredients and begins measuring out the flour. Even after all this time, he still treasures every moment together. And now, as they are stuck working from home for the foreseeable future, he misses her more than he did before they moved in together. Although they are around each other nearly all day, every day, they hardly interact outside of breakfast and a kiss goodnight. He sighs and forces his focus back to mixing the batter. Shirayuki is working hard and here he is being selfish again. He should be stronger.

Pushing down his loneliness, he flings himself into scrambling eggs and flipping pancakes with gusto. He quickly finishes the first set of pancakes, butters them, and stacks them neatly on Shirayuki’s plate next to her portion of eggs. For the final touch, he sprinkles a hint of powdered sugar across them and places a little dollop of fruit preserves on top. Hopefully these would look appetizing enough to entice her into taking a break from work to eat. With her plate in hand, Zen makes his way back to the living room and sets her meal on the coffee table.

“Food’s ready,” he announces. “Please don’t forget to eat.”

Shirayuki pauses, tired eyes flicking away from her screen to meet his and offering all the gratitude she can muster. “Thank you, Zen. I promise I will eat as soon as I finish this analysis.”

Zen offers a quick smile in return before heading back to the kitchen to make dinner for himself. He’d better check on her soon, just to make sure she doesn’t get sucked into her work despite her promise—although it is never intentional, her basic needs often fall by the wayside when she is hyper-focused like this.

Fifteen minutes later, Zen returns to the living room with his own stack of pancakes (chocolate chip) and scrambled eggs (sprinkled with his friend Obi’s homemade hot sauce, because the pain was always worth the flavor). And just as he feared, Shirayuki hasn’t touched her food.

“How’s it coming? Are you going to eat soon?” Zen settles into his spot on the couch next to her and cuts into his pancakes with his fork.

“Hm? Oh yes, I figured out why that regression was behaving unexpectedly, I had just flipped the variables.” She bites her lip. “I guess after I fixed that, I just moved on to the next thing.”

Zen reaches out to tenderly place a hand on her cheek and guide her eyes away from her screen and to his own. Her eyelids droop a little, and he notices a small crease between her eyebrows—she looks so tired. He drags his thumb across her cheekbone and her eyes flutter shut as she relaxes into his hand.

His heart skips a little at the intimacy of their position; after all, it had been weeks since they had really shared a moment like this, just comfortable in stillness with each other’s full attention. Eyes still closed, Shirayuki reaches up to hold his hand against her cheek and sighs as she turns her head to press her lips against his palm. With a gentle squeeze of his hand, she releases him and turns to exchange her laptop for her plate.

Although she continues working while they eat, Zen is relieved to see her diligently taking bites between bits of code. It doesn’t take long before she cleans her plate entirely. With a yawn, Zen stretches and rises from the couch before collecting their dishes and returning to the kitchen to clean up. The clock above the stove reads 10:08pm.

How did it get so late? He’d just have to head right to bed after this. Dozing off during his morning call with the Mayor was not how he wanted to start his day tomorrow.

After finishing the dishes and changing into his sleep shirt, he returns to the living room to let Shirayuki know he’s going to bed—apparently she still has a couple hours of work ahead of her, but she promised she’d come to bed as soon as she was done. With Shirayuki resigned to her work for the night, Zen heads to their bed and does his best to get comfortable. As the weight of the blanket settles over him, he melts into the mattress and takes the deepest, most relaxing breath he’s taken all day. Despite his body giving in to its need to rest, Zen’s mind still races with thoughts of the meeting tomorrow morning and of the latest case counts in the city. God, he can’t wait for the day when all of this chaos is over. He and Shirayuki could take a weekend off and hike Mount Koto just like they did senior year after finals. He sighs at the thought.

Visions of them packing their picnic supplies into his old backpack flash through his mind. He’s smiling as he makes Shirayuki’s sandwich with the mustard by the meat and the veggies under the cheese, just the way she likes it. The sunshine warms their faces as they walk along the trail, and Shirayuki is a vision in her button-up hiking shirt and sunhat, all glowing skin and bright smiles. He reaches their picnic spot first, so he spreads their blanket and sets out their food. Shirayuki’s still a ways behind, but she’ll be there with him soon, he tells himself. She will. He busies himself smoothing the blanket and making sure her sandwich is arranged just so with a nice serving of chips and a gleaming red apple.

He’s just about to polish her apple for a second time when he realizes he doesn’t hear the crunch of her footsteps on the trail anymore. Panicked, he shoots up from his seat and runs over to the trail to try to find her, to no avail. Maybe she went off-trail to relieve herself? No that can’t be it, she’s taking way too long, and she would have told him if she was going off trail, right? Oh god—what if she hurt herself and she’s stuck somewhere down the trail? Zen abandons the picnic and runs as fast as his legs can take him down the trail, until—

He hears the faint tapping of fingers on a keyboard. Looking across the trail, he sees the edge of a laptop screen poking out from behind a tree. As he approaches it, the sound gets louder and louder, until it feels almost deafening and Zen has to cover his ears to avoid the incessant din. He looks around the tree’s thick trunk and sees Shirayuki in front of the screen, her hair disheveled and eyes unblinking as she types away.

She’s absolutely overworking herself! Zen can’t let her keep doing this. He should have caught it before it got this bad, he should have pulled her away from work and made her take care of herself. Regardless, he refuses to let this go on any longer. He takes a deep breath, removes his hands from his ears, and reaches out to set his hand on her shoulder as he always does when he needs to get her attention. His hand goes right through her, as if she were a ghost.

He wakes to find her side of the bed empty.

Zen’s sleep shirt is clinging to his sweating chest and the sheets are tangled up in his legs. He kicks them off and rolls over with a groan. So much for getting a good nights’ sleep before the meeting tomorrow morning. He reaches for his bedside lamp, trying to feel the small switch in the dark. It takes him a minute, fingers clumsy and sleep-addled, but he finally finds it with a click and squints against the soft, yellow light. He yawns and drags his phone towards him by its charging cable and groans again when he sees the time. 2:37am.

With little desire to return to the stifling sheets, he decides it’s best to just get out of bed and have a glass of water before trying to sleep again. He shuffles out of the bedroom, and as the door clicks behind him, his tired mind peripherally registers that the living room light is still on. But with water being his body’s primary goal, he drowsily continues on to the kitchen and downs a full glass in three big gulps when he gets there. With his mind cleared from the coolness of the water, he realizes that even though the living room light is still on, Shirayuki’s persistent typing is absent.

When he reaches the living room, he finds Shirayuki on the couch, slumped to the side with her lips parted and a quiet snore escaping her with each exhale.  Her laptop is open and teetering dangerously close to the edge of her lap, but the screen has long since shut itself off. There’s still a pencil behind her ear, too.

With as much gentleness as he can muster this late at night, Zen extracts her laptop and moves it over to her desk so it can charge overnight. He removes the pencil from behind her ear and brushes her hair away from her eyes.

“Shirayuki, come to bed.” Her eyes crack open ever so slightly, and she grumbles but does not stir. Zen sighs. Even in sleep—no, especially in sleep—she’s as stubborn as ever.

“I’m going to pick you up, okay?” She mumbles something unintelligible, but’s all the affirmation he needs. He pushes his arms underneath her knees and shoulders, steels himself, and scoops her up. At first, her head lolls to the side, but then she turns and nuzzles against his chest. He can’t help but smile down at her as he carries her back to the bedroom and slowly places her on top of the sheets.

“Shirayuki, you should change out of your clothes,” he says.

She stirs a bit before slurring, “Don’t wanna. Wanna sleep.”

“If you don’t change now, you’ll regret it in the morning. You know you will.”

At this, Shirayuki groans and pushes herself up off the mattress. She insists he help her take off her clothes, which makes him laugh and blush in equal measure.

It’s only after she is changed and settled under the sheets that he finally lets himself sink into their bed again, mind and body finally relaxed with the knowledge that she’s next to him and already half asleep. He turns off his bedside lamp with a click and lets the rhythm of her breathing lull him back to sleep. Just as the last remains of his consciousness are about to slip away, he feels the delicate press of fingers against his shoulder, the tickle of a whisper against his ear, and the softness of a kiss against his temple.

“Thank you, Zen. I love you.”

[usagichibamamorutsukino]

To all of the Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask Haters

This is my post on the Sailor Moon subreddit! I am very proud of the arguments I made and am extremely thankful for the amazing response I got! I got Reddit Gold for the first time in my life! I’m sharing it today here on my Tumblr, the place where I have found a wonderful niche of Tuxedo Mask and Usamamo lovers like me! Here is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/sailormoon/comments/d0zm4c/to_all_of_the_mamorutuxedo_mask_haters/

Here is my post: 

Hi everyone! I wanted to share my comment on a video interview of the Viz dub voices for the Sailor Moon and Sailor Moon Crystal anime, Stephanie Sheh (Usagi), and Robbie Daymond (Mamoru). The interviewer talked about why she believes it's justified to hate Tuxedo Mask and why he isn't right for Usagi. The topics I covered in my initial comment are included here in greater detail. I am basing my response below on: the manga, the original 90's anime and its 3 movies, Sailor Moon Crystal, Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, interviews with Naoko Takeuchi, articles that analyze the storylines and utilize fact-checking references, as well as my interpretation and analysis that bases itself on the cannon and overall understanding of the portrayal of the human characters and interactions in the story.

Obligatory note: You are entitled to your own opinion as I am entitled to my own. However, I feel obligated to voice my opinion and defense for Tuxedo Mask as he gets so much hate in the fandom, and there is so much misinformation about him. There are so many posts and articles trying to prove that Tuxedo Mask/Mamoru is definitively a horrible character, that he sucks, he is useless, etc. It is one thing to have your opinion. It is another to be so vocal about your hatred for a character basing your hatred on misinformation and superficial arguments.

In my lengthy post, I will discuss specific topics and arguments that people bring up to defend their hatred of Tuxedo Mask/Mamoru and his relationship to Sailor Moon/Usagi. I hope you enjoy reading and gain some perspective.

In the original anime, Usagi and Mamoru didn't have any feelings or love for one another UNTIL they remembered their past lives

I rewatched Season 1 of the original anime this past week and took notes of each encounter between Usagi and Mamoru until they remember their past lives. I analyzed their dialogue, how the animators portrayed their body language around each other, as well as how they talk about one another to other characters. Let’s begin our study by reading this quote from the manga in Act 10 when Usagi recounts that in her encounters with Mamoru: “I would get defensive, and we would get into a fight. We actually never had a real conversation. But the truth is… I was always so excited and happy to see him. That’s why we ran to each other… isn’t it? The two of us were drawn to each other.”

In the 90s anime, Usagi and Mamoru have an initially confrontational relationship. Mamoru’s first impression of Usagi was of a girl who hit him on the head with a crumbled-up test with a horrifying grade. Usagi’s first impression of Mamoru was a guy who told her she should study more; she was mortified and embarrassed by this, so she stuck her tongue out at him and walked away, disregarding him as a “weirdo”. The second time they bump into each other, Usagi throws a shoe at his head by accident, and she doesn’t apologize. The third time they meet, they bump into one another when Usagi is dreaming about “her future boyfriend.” She mistakenly apologizes to a pole, and Mamoru finds this funny and says that she should watch where she is going. Naru asks Usagi if she knows who that guy is, as he is “totally gorgeous” and Usagi responds “Wrong! There is nothing gorgeous about him!” By the 5th and 7th episodes, when Mamoru sees Usagi, he goes up to her and says, “Hey!” like they were friends. At the end of their conversation in Ep. 7, when Usagi walks away annoyed, we pan back to Mamoru, who is smiling at her genuinely. Through all of these interactions, Mamoru and Usagi go from strangers who are annoyed by each other’s existence to people who run into each other so often that Mamoru can find some humor in it.

You have to consider that Mamoru is acerbic since he is becoming Tuxedo Mask without his knowledge, is sleep deprived, has retrograde amnesia, and barely has anyone in his life who truly cares about him. He meets this girl who has hit him on the head, has bumped into him and has been rude to him on multiple accounts, of course, he’s going to return Usagi’s comments. But as he spends more time around her group, the teasing becomes well-meaning. Usagi shows that she values his advice, such as in Ep. 17 and when she is deciding if telling Naru about Nephrite's evil doings is a good idea or not. Usagi was visibly jealous of Rei’s crush on Mamoru and her three outings with him. Mamoru brought up "Bunhead" when Rei stopped him on the street to ask him out. He mentioned "Usagi" when talking to Motoki when the conversation wasn't about her but rather about Makoto. She's on his mind from early on.

There is a fantastic post that also discusses some of the points of evidence that Usagi and Mamoru had crushes on one another before they remembered their past lives, https://aminoapps.com/c/sailor-moon/page/blog/my-thoughts-on-mamoru-and-usagi/eYX5_MMdI3udVa3xwNvqExdKarRMM0xGlrm . One of my favorite observations is this: "Mamoru mostly teased her about her love life. When we look at what a person mostly tease someone about, it can give us an idea about their true intentions behind it. Mamoru teased her about romance-related things quite a few times, saying she wouldn’t get a boyfriend if she weren’t more lady-like, teasing her about Motoki twice, and her 'not-so-date' with Umino (it really wasn’t though). Not to mention when Motoki asked Mamoru why he always treated Usagi like that, Mamoru says, 'I guess we weren’t meant for each other.' " Also, in reply to this post, u/Rockabore1 made a fantastic analysis regarding the deeper meaning behind Usagi and Mamoru's teasing in the beginning:

"I love that you point out all the nuance in the way Mamoru and Usagi's relationship grew from roasting each other to realizing they care about each other and actually love being around each other. When they met, neither were really emotionally mature enough at that point to figure out an excuse to spend time together, and they kept using teasing each other as a reliable way to do it. I talked to another redditor about a scene that strikes me as a very multilayered in that regard. In episode 17, since when Mamoru talked about qualities, make a girl beautiful after Usagi feels discouraged to meet with the photographer. He describes 'someone with a kind-heart and bravery to do the right thing even when it's hard to do.' He says it with a directness like he means it as 'I see these qualities in you.' Yet he plays it off by saying, 'Obviously, you lack those qualities,' in a challenging way. I read it as him giving her the determination to try and prove him wrong because he knows she's not a quitter. Usagi went to the arcade to get Motoki to boost her ego, which she knew he would since he's always supportive, and Motoki's platitudes made her happy but didn't inspire her, whereas, Mamoru challenging her was what pushed her to actually go out and prove it. When she leaves, Motoki notes how the two always bicker, and Mamoru seems to half-heartedly lament that things always turn into an argument when they see each other and that 'I guess we're not meant to be.' It seems like he's admitting that he doesn't know how to give her a compliment without feeling silly or embarrassed to act like a softie, and he doesn't know how they could change (which obviously they do, but at the time both were really stubborn)."

In Ep. 28, they already demonstrate to the viewer that they have crushes on each other. Usagi, sitting next to him, thinks to herself, “but hey, he does look pretty handsome," then out loud, she says, "Oh geez, what am I thinking stop it Usagi, Tuxedo Mask is the only one I love!” He looks at her, and when she looks away embarrassed, he smiles at her. At the end of the episode, when Usagi says that their painting came out beautiful, Mamoru says, “I’d say it looks pretty good considering who the model was…” and his eyes immediately shot at USAGI! But she thinks he’s talking about himself, so she reacts annoyed. And in the last episode of the first season, when everyone gets their memory erased, Mamoru smiles genuinely after meeting Usagi. This encounter was just like the first one they had at the beginning of the series and similar to their third encounter as well. His reaction could very well have been the reaction he had after meeting her for the first time, but we, the viewers, didn’t get to see it. They had an attraction to each other from the start. Usagi felt that she made two horrible first impressions on Mamoru and even though she obviously found him attractive (as she later states on countless occasions), she felt that “this is an attractive guy I would’ve had a crush on now thinks I’m a ditz, so I’m going to treat him like I don’t care about him.”

Mamoru is someone who came from an upbringing with little attachment and has been pursued for his looks and wealth for presumably a long time. Think about how many characters and villains have hit on him. How Motoki told Rei that he lives in an expensive apartment all alone because of his inheritance, and her eyes lit up. Usagi probably is the only girl who isn’t fawning over him when they meet and instead is capable of sparing jokes at each other’s expense. His way of showing his attraction is not the best, but Usagi isn’t perfect either. I also noticed how, when Rei bumped into Mamoru in a ploy to ask him out, he acted concerned for her falling down for a moment, asked if she was alright and went on his way. Rei stopped him again, and he reluctantly stuck around for coffee. Meanwhile, every time Usagi bumps into him, he sticks around for a bit to tease her and get teased back. Why did Mamoru go out of his way to spend more time with "the annoying Bunhead” than he needed to? He even goes up to her to spar and teases her, and she reciprocates too.

At the end of Rei's first "date" with Mamoru, she tells Usagi that Mamoru is probably Tuxedo Mask, Usagi says that there's no way that he could be. Mamoru asks, "huh, who is Tuxedo Mask?" like he’s genuinely curious after Usagi noted the comment about Tuxedo Mask. Umino interrupts and asks Usagi to continue their own “date,” Mamoru says, “uuu, so that’s your type, huh?” in a flirty manner. This implies, "oh, so that's why you act like you don't like me. I'm not your type." Usagi is embarrassed and blushing during this whole encounter. Later, in Ep. 30, when Yuichiro and Rei are hitting it off, Usagi is ecstatic about getting them together. Rei tells her, "you know Mamoru is my guy, so what are you trying to pull here?" Usagi blushes embarrassed, her crush on Mamoru is obvious, her jealousy of Rei is evident. Even Ami starts to see this in Ep. 31 where Rei excuses herself from a Sunday outing with the girls for a "date," Ami tells this to Usagi while nervous, knowing Usagi will react annoyed at the thought of Rei going on a date with Mamoru. However, on Mamoru's part, he never took the outings with Rei seriously. He saw her as more of a friend while she was the one pursuing him to go with her on “dates.” Also, when talking with Motoki about the girls, he seemingly got really nervous at the thought of Rei “liking” him as more than a friend. After he realizes that he is Tuxedo Mask and realizes his strong connection with Sailor Moon and the princess to who appears to him in his recurring dream, he basically stops interacting with her altogether. In fact, in this same episode I just mentioned, Rei calls Mamoru to ask him out on a date but is met with his voice mail. We pan to Mamoru in the balcony of his apartment, ignoring Rei's voice message and instead of thinking about how he is determined to get the last rainbow crystal to find the legendary silver crystal and recover his lost memories.

Who can forget episode 34, where Usagi and Mamoru discovered each other's secret identities. Usagi recognizes Mamoru walking along the Juban Shopping District; she playfully hits him on the back, “Hey there, how you doing guy?” He grunts in pain. She genuinely asks him, "What’s wrong?" He responds, “Oh, hey Bunhead, you're sure cheerful today.” Usagi: “Well, excuse me then, it just so happens that I am a cheerful person all of the time!” and sticks her tongue out, as she does. He responds with a smile, “I hope you’ll always be that way. Take care, okay?” and walks away, holding his shoulder. Usagi reacts, confused, “What’s with him? He isn’t acting like himself.”, and notices his shoulder is hurt, “Could he be hurt in some way?” Mamoru probably thought he was going to die in the battle with Zoisite; he was also depressed about not being able to protect Sailor Moon, in what Mamoru thought was his last time seeing Usagi, he was kind and told her that she should always remain her cheerful self. Worried, she follows him. When he discovers this, he is genuinely surprised that she was worried about him. Mamoru didn't have anyone in his life who worried about him. In the iconic elevator ride, he genuinely opens up to her. He tells her about his past, his recurring dream, why he is looking for the silver crystal, things he hasn't told anyone else before. When she tells him, “You know what? Before, I thought you were the worst person in the whole wide world. But not anymore, now you’re the second worst.” The way Mamoru looked at her as she blushed saying that, the way he prioritized Usagi’s safety over the rainbow crystals, the way he pushed her out of the way from falling icicles, the way he looked at her when he saw his Bunhead transform into THE Sailor Moon, the way he looked at her when he pulled out that rose and turned into Tuxedo Mask. Mamoru and Usagi fell for each other long before they discovered they were Serenity and Endymion. Sure, it's not as explicit and cinematic as how it is portrayed in the manga and Sailor Moon Crystal. But their attraction is there. They are on each other's minds from early on.

The way the writers developed their relationship is actually genius. By the moonlight, Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon flirt, and he calls her smart and beautiful, and he believes in her leadership and talent as a superhero. Meanwhile, by daylight, Mamoru and Usagi bicker like a married couple. It's like Lois Lane falling in love with Super Man but dismissing Clark Kent. The dialogue they share, their body language, how others notice their connection goes a little further than they realize; I recommend that you rewatch Sailor Moon Season 1 and the first arc of Sailor Moon R (Makaiju) and notice how Usagi and Mamoru act around each other and how their feelings for one another develop. It's there as clear as day, and honestly, it's one of the reasons I love Sailor Moon. It's the best story ever told. Heck, even the intro song is from Usagi's perspective, singing about her miracle romance with Mamoru.

I think the most notable difference between Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship in Season 1 and Season 2 is that Usagi is much nicer to him in Season 2. As a result, Mamoru is much friendlier to Usagi. This, in turn, provides heartwarming moments between them, such as when they took care of a baby, their first “date” at the arcade, Mamoru’s sigh of relief when Usagi shows up to interrupt Natsuki’s incessant flirting, his blushing when Usagi called herself cute and when he thought Usagi was on a date with Seijuro, as well as many more moments between them. The reason Usagi treats him much nicer is because, at the beginning of Season 2, Usagi remembered her previous lives, she remembered who Mamoru is, his personality, what they went through, how he puts himself in danger to protect her, how he died for her, and most of all, she remembered why she fell in love with him. It becomes her mission to get Mamoru to remember who she is, what they’ve endured together, and how they fell in love. The Makaijju arc serves as a retelling of their love story, as Mamoru falls in love with Usagi all over again. This happens gradually; he starts to see how this Bunhead girl went from someone who is rude to him to someone who enjoys his company, cares about others, brave, fun to be around, and is a kind friend. When they are both captured by the Makaiju tree, Mamoru asks Usagi if she is alright and reaches out to hold her hand. When he and Sailor Moon are being thrown and flung around the room, he holds on to Usagi/Sailor Moon’s hand even though this aggravates their antagonists more, causing them to inflict more pain on them. He jumps in front of Sailor Moon to protect her near-fatal blows, as she did for him, because in Usagi’s words: “I’m willing to risk my life in order to protect anyone I truly love.” At this moment, Mamoru had already fallen in love with Usagi again. It wasn’t until he felt the same love he had felt in his past lives that his consciousness, the Moonlight Knight, returned his memories. Therefore, he fell for Usagi before he remembered their past lives. His undying need to protect her literally took physical form as the Moonlight Knight. This proves that Mamoru doesn’t love Usagi because she is Serenity and because of destiny, but because he genuinely loves Usagi. The cutest part of this moment was Mamoru waking Usagi up after the battle, and calling her his little Bunhead Usagi Tsukino.

Many people argue that he fell for Sailor Moon and settled for Usagi once he found out they were the same person. It is undeniable that Tuxedo Mask felt strong feelings for Sailor Moon since he could sense when she was in danger and felt this urge to protect her. However, Tuxedo Mask made an enemy of Sailor Moon and the Sailor Senshi when it came to finding the rainbow crystals. In The Shining Silver Crystal, Mamoru and Usagi are confronted by Zoisite, who demands that Mamoru surrender his own rainbow crystals so that they can fight, and the winner takes all. Mamoru tells Zoisite that he will do so only if he promises not to harm Usagi and let her go. This was BEFORE he knew that she was Sailor Moon. He prioritized Usagi’s safety over his unwavering personal mission of finding the silver crystal. He didn’t do this for Sailor Moon; he did this for Usagi.

One of the most important arguments, if not, the most crucial evidence for the validity of Usagi and Mamoru’s love for one another is why they fell in love and if it is merely because of destiny, as many skeptics online cite this as the only reason Usagi and Mamoru are together because they feel obligated to stay together due to past in the Silver Millennium and “destiny.” I found a fantastic essay series by Sailor Moon and Me, all about studying the dynamics of Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship to ultimately answer if they truly love one another in the original 90’s anime. You can find the whole series here; I highly recommend you read it! https://sailormoonandme.tumblr.com/post/93343451085/usagi-and-mamoru-essay-series-contents-page-and

In conclusion, the author writes: “Would Usagi and Mamoru have wound up together if they had not regained their memories from their past lives? If given the right opportunities to get to know each other better, almost certainly yes. And those opportunities would’ve probably presented themselves somehow because their past lives/destiny would’ve been influencing them. Remember, they even met as children. Were they obligated to be together because of their past lives? Not exactly. Their past lives guided them and influenced them, but the personality traits that Serenity and Endymion found attractive in one another were present in Usagi and Mamoru and was likely what they’re modern-day incarnations found attractive too. In particular, these traits were on display as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask and Usagi and Mamoru already effectively loved one another in through those identities anyway.” The author highlights a key aspect, the reason Usagi and Mamoru have fallen in love over and over again: they find each other’s personality traits attractive! Earlier in the essay series, the author brilliantly proves how, in the anime, Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask and Endymion act in the same way, as well as Usagi/Sailor Moon and Serenity. They are the same people, so if they fell in love during the Silver Millennium, they can fall in love again for the same reason, they like each other’s personalities!

Mamoru's breakup with Usagi

In the anime, after they finally get together during Sailor Moon R, he finally feels like he’s not alone. Then he gets these visions prophesizing that the woman he loves will die if he continues to be with her. He struggles with what to do; he just found someone who completes him, who gave him his lost memories and the meaning of his life. Who saw the best in him and believed in him even after him being brainwashed and soul strangled by the evil Metalia. He knows the pain that he’s caused her. He still has memories of being under Metaria's evil magic. He realized how possessed he was, enough to attempt to behead Usagi without question. He just learned that continuing to be a part of her life could put her in grave danger. He doesn’t take this lightly and breaks up with her because he thought he would protect her.

Mamoru thought that HE, HIMSELF, was the danger to Usagi. That's why he tried to get her to hate him. Even I initially judged the breakup arc as a victim of "bad writing" for Mamoru and Usagi's relationship. A few lines littered over a few episodes are unfortunately very negative coming from Mamoru's part. I cannot defend them when taken out of context. I am disappointed that the writers decided to include those few lines since they don't even correlate to Mamoru's character growth and overarching character arc over five seasons.

Furthermore, from his part, these comments are blatant attempts to portray himself as a despicable person, so Usagi would forget about him and move on. He thought that by getting Usagi to hate him, she would distance herself from him and be saved from the horrible fate he kept seeing in his nightmare. Many people use this as "evidence" that Mamoru "didn't love Usagi," and that he is a "horrible person." It is very easy to judge a guy breaking up with a girl as wonderful as Usagi and being so cold towards her. However, when you see Mamoru realize that marrying Usagi will cause her immediate death and that his only way of protecting her from this doom is to break up with her, he already hates himself. To provide more perspective of how this impacted him when he meets King Endymion in the future and realizes he was the one prophesying Usagi's death if Mamoru continues to be with her, Mamoru charges at him with anger.

There is no logical reason that Mamoru would willingly choose to make Usagi suffer. Why would he purposely put the only person he considers his family and his soulmate through so much pain and suffering. The breakup is as hard on him as it is on Usagi. This is clearly seen in Ep. 69, at the end, when he is crying by his motorcycle. He should’ve told Usako the truth about the dream. But she beats him to it in a later episode, and they decide to take control of their lives and be together, instead of believing in the nightmare. She was the one to believe in the strength of their love and do the right thing. Thanks to this arc, they learned that together they are unstoppable. Mamoru learned to trust Usagi wholeheartedly and to trust himself, as he felt that HE was the danger in her life. After the revelation that the messages from King Endymion were to test Mamoru's love for Usagi, even Mamoru realizes he made a horrible decision to lie to Usagi and hurt her the way he did. He realizes how dumb he was and latches on to Usagi and never lets her go again.

Furthermore, to provide a silver lining to the breakup arc, we have further evidence of just how much Mamoru loves Usagi. If he didn't love her, as so many people in the fandom like to claim, the breakup was his way out. But he didn't just up and leave. He hated that he had to be apart from Usagi. He truly loves her with all of his heart. He never once stopped calling her Usako. He never stopped being in awe of Sailor Moon's power, calling her invincible when talking about her to Chibiusa. He continued to help her and the Sailor Senshi in battle. He dreamt about marrying her; he imagined her face reflected on rivers; when he continued to run into her after the breakup, he was solemn realizing that it is fate that keeps making them meet.

This breakup isn’t my favorite part of the season at all, but it provides real character development and allows us to explore Mamoru’s fears and heartache. You see Usagi gets heartbroken, but she doesn't lose faith; she doesn't stop believing in Mamoru and love; she still has her circle of friends and family to fall back on. Mamoru had no one. Usagi was the only one he let in his heart. In the Sailor Moon R movie, he tells Usagi that his years of loneliness were worth it because he found her, and that she is his family. For years, Mamoru had the same dream about a princess who pleaded to him “find the silver crystal, find the silver crystal.” And this princess ended up being a real person! The girl with the weird hair he kept running into, Bunhead, Usagi, Usako! Are we internalizing how insane that is? To have literally no memories before your sixth birthday, to not remember your parents, to be an orphan with no family or close relationships, to have a recurring dream that wakes you in a cold sweat about the same person every time that pleads that you find this mysterious crystal you know nothing about? It’s insane. Of course, Mamoru has trouble with interpersonal relationships in the beginning. It’s thanks to Usagi’s constant love towards him and their growth as a couple that he becomes a kinder and more trusting person as the series goes on. Mamoru's connection to Usagi is so much deeper than the anime lets on at surface level. Mamoru went from someone who has had his memory stolen already three times, to someone who has finally found the love of his life, who was no longer alone, to someone who was forced to break his soulmate's heart and be pushed back to loneliness.

I recommend this great article that talks more about the breakup and Mamoru's perspective! http://starlight.csmalecki.com/reads/breakup.php

Mamoru's relationship with Chibiusa

On that note, of course, Mamoru felt a connection to Chibiusa. He was an orphan with no family, he finds this little kid all alone, of course, he is going to feel an urge to help her feel less alone. He connects with Chibiusa because he sees Usako in her; because he no longer has anyone else to fill the void of loneliness. Mamoru and Chibiusa are some of the characters that carry the underlying theme of loneliness in the Sailor Moon story. Chibiusa saw Mamo as someone who reminded her of her dad, and for a little girl who feels helpless and is separated from her parents, utterly alone in this strange world where she doesn't know who to trust, it is reasonable for her to latch onto him. She sees these people who look like her parents and Sailor Senshi back home but behave nothing like them. Mamoru is one of the few characters who is continuously nice to her and there for her; logically, she would want to be around him. There is an excellent article that talks about Chibiusa's "Electra Complex," I highly recommend you read it: https://shojopower.com/beautiful-like-you-black-ladys-uncomfortable-electra-complex/. Basically, it concludes that Chibiusa's "Electra Complex" is NOT sexual desire for her father but instead not being able to relate to her mother, "The Electra Complex is less about a daughter’s sexual desire for her father, but much more about the relationship between daughter and mother; the female child and her best friend." Once Chibiusa becomes Black Lady, her innocent feelings of love and attachment towards Mamoru get exploited and tainted and manifest as "sexual" attraction. But in reality, once Chibiusa can relate to Usagi, her "Electra Complex" is resolved, and Black Lady is defeated.

Tuxedo Mask is "useless."

What a double standard. Just because he is a man, he has to be the Batman or Spider-Man of the story? It’s called Sailor Moon. She is Wonder Woman; he is Steve Trevor. Tuxedo Mask exists to help Sailor Moon and support her, but Sailor Moon is the protector of the universe. The story is all about her and her fellow Sailor Senshi. It’s a female empowerment story; if you think that a male character is “useless” because he isn’t the one saving the day, you are missing the point. Tuxedo Mask has physically aided the Senshi in combat on countless occasions.

Furthermore, during numerous battles, if Tuxedo Mask had not shown up to shoot a single rose, Sailor Moon and the Senshi would have been goners. He utilizes his knowledge of physics and math during battles and is capable in hand to hand combat, as well as a formidable swordsman. In the manga and Sailor Moon Crystal, he has his own super-powered attack, Tuxedo La Smoking Bomber. Even cooler, he has a combined attack with his daughter, Pink Sugar Tuxedo Attack. He takes the place of Sailor Earth and Sailor Sun, as he possesses the golden sailor crystal. Concerning Earth, he recognizes it as his guardian planet and can "see" what the Earth feels. Concerning the sun, Takeuchi made him a Leo, a constellation related to the sun, also, when he dies, Nehellenia states that he is "The Prince of Earth, protected by the Sun."

He buys the Senshi time to power up for their Sailor Planet attack; he's freed them from traps from where they can't escape alone, he distracts villains and disables them with supernaturally strong rose darts, allowing the Senshi to give the finishing blow. I have to note; his aim is deadly. His rose darts took down Queen Beryl and Fiore, as well as others. He doesn't leave the scene until he sees the situation is under control and that the girls can handle it from there. In his dying words during the Stars arc, he proclaims that the Senshi will stop Galaxia, that she doesn't stand a chance. He believes in each of the Senshi's strengths and gives them useful advice that they apply to the situation and helps them succeed. In the story, his character supports female heroes and helps them do their best. As a female, I feel completely empowered and inspired by Sailor Moon/Usagi, by each of the Senshi and the story in general. It is rare to see female superheroes kicking butt, in a world of countless Iron Man, Captain America, Batman, Superman, and Spider-Man movies and a less than a handful of Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel movies. A male superhero in a female superhero driven story is not "useless," they simply aren't the star of the battle, and there is nothing wrong with that.

The consensus is that Usagi's kidnapping by Prince Demande is straight-up assault and absolutely repulsive from Demade's part. And rightfully so, Usagi, in tears being grabbed and forced to kiss him is horrible and uncomfortable to watch. Compare this moment to Mamoru's kidnappings. He has been objectified and kidnapped by countless villains in the story. How is this different from Usagi's kidnapping? He is forced to kiss his own daughter possessed by evil, pinned against a wall by Fish's Eye trying to get a kiss from him while he is explicitly rejecting this and saying no, was submitted to bodily possession by Metaria's dark magic on two occasions with Queen Beryl (who is obsessed and infatuated with him) doing who knows what to his unconscious body. I could go on and on, Fiore, An, Mio Kuroki; there are many occasions where Mamoru has been objectified, kidnapped, and assaulted. It is disturbing that so many people interpret this as "weakness" from Mamoru's part. These assaults and objectification are against his will. A man who has been through these horrible experiences is NOT weak. Please don't contribute to this harmful double standard. A person being assaulted is a victim, regardless of their gender.

Finally, in the first episode, when Sailor Moon is crying because she doesn't know how to fight the monster terrorizing her best friend, Tuxedo Mask appears to her and tells her "Sailor Moon, crying won't solve anything." Taken at face value, this comment is bewildering since, in that scenario (and another battle scenario in Sailor Moon SuperS), her crying became ultrasonic and incapacitated her enemies. But this comment goes further, this comment sets the tone for Usagi's series-long journey into maturing and getting over her crying habit; this is part of Sailor Moon’s character development. This personal growth is highlighted in Ep. 74 when Usagi decides to face Rubeus alone to save her friends. She reflects on how, before she would've been a total crybaby if she had to go by herself to defeat a villain, she is amazed at how far she has come emotionally. She realizes that truthfully, "crying won't solve anything." As the seasons go on, her being a self-proclaimed crybaby is still used as a point of comedy, but in the moments of real desperation, she handles herself with maturity and bravery. So, ultimately, she valued what Tuxedo Mask said to her the first time they met.

Usagi and Mamoru's age gap

One of the biggest points of misinformation in Sailor Moon is Mamoru and Usagi's age difference and the legality of their relationship. Mamoru Chiba is 17. At the start of the manga, Takeuchi intended for Mamoru to be as young as 16. Usagi Tsukino starts the story as 14, but she actually isn’t 14 for very long. The Japan school semester begins in April, and her birthday is in June. This means that Seasons 1-3 happen pretty quickly. Therefore the age difference between Mamoru and Usagi isn’t that drastic at all. Furthermore, the fact of the matter is, Mamoru behaves older than he is. Why? He has had to mature very early on in his life. He has had to take care of himself for presumably a long time. Usagi has the perfect nuclear family and at the start of the series and is rather immature. She matures as the series goes on because of her responsibilities as a guardian and protector of the galaxy. At face value, it's easy to judge Mamoru and Usagi's relationship as one with a significant age gap. However, this isn't the case. 2-3 years of age difference is not outstanding at all and in Japan even less so. They are both above the age of consent of 13 and are still both teenagers. Even in the original anime, many scripts list Mamoru as a 17-18-year-old college student, and Usagi becomes 15 early on in the series timeline. He is shown to be extremely intelligent, so being a 17 year old in college is absolutely plausible. An important point to address, he is shown driving a car when the minimum driving age in Japan is 18. However, Haruka is 16 and drives a car and even a helicopter. I’m not losing any sleep over the fact that Mamoru could be driving a car before he is 18.

People argue that if Mamoru were precisely the same age as Usagi, the "problems" would be "fixed." But like I stated earlier, Mamoru behaves more mature because he was forced to be independent and self-sufficient from a very early point in his life. Even at 14, Mamoru would appear and behave much more mature than Usagi does. He is still obviously immature in how he deals with his crush on Usagi. When Takeuchi wrote the story about Serenity and Endymion, she was basing herself on medieval romance stories where the lovers are many years apart in age. Hence, the age gap was intentional in that aspect. Again, as I stated previously, 2-3 years of age difference is hardly noteworthy, especially as the series goes on, and they mature together.

Here is an excellent post that further discusses and debunks the age gap legality rumors: https://tiny012.tumblr.com/post/184025521241/in-the-defense-of-mamoru-chiba-because-bitch-im

Final thoughts and conclusions about Usagi and Mamoru's relationship and Tuxedo Mask

In the end, Usagi and Mamoru mature and grow together; they are each other’s rock. Mamoru becomes a more laid back person around Usagi, like when he takes her to see the cats at the abandoned house to cheer her up in Ep. 91. Usagi asks him, “but are we allowed to go in there?” and he responds, “I don’t know! Who cares!” and hands her a little kitten. I love Diana’s comment in Ep. 146 about how both Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion fake being sick together to get out of meetings and commitments.

Mamoru loves Usagi for who she is; in some ways, she is everything he's not, and he loves her for that - they complete each other; he keeps her grounded while she lifts him up into craziness. And he adores it. Mamoru has told Usagi: "Never apologize for being yourself.”, "Your strong will is what I love about you most.” and “Just being with you makes my life complete.” When Fish’s Eye questioned Mamoru on why he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but Usagi, he responds, "She’s full of dreams. That’s why.” In Stars, as Chibiusa is fading from existence due to Nehellenia’s curse on Mamoru, she pleads that he remembers that both him and Usagi have always shared the same dreams. Mamoru and Usagi are pretty different, sure, but in reality, they have the same visions for the future; they share the same values, and they have the same dreams. They complement each other beautifully, and that is why their love is as strong as it is. Usagi may be a bit clumsy and a crybaby, but in Mamoru's eyes, she's perfect.

People also bring up Mamoru's avoidance of public displays of affection with Usagi as evidence that "he doesn't really love her." In Japan, public displays of affection are seen as rude and inappropriate. When Mamo is alone with Usako, they share countless cute moments. Kisses, hugs, affection.. they love each other. Let's not forget when Mamoru gave Usagi a promise ring at the airport and kissed her like they were the only two people on Earth. His last words were "Usako." He has taken countless blows and stabs in Usagi's place, and she has for him too.

We saw them fall in love over and over, as Serenity and Endymion, and as Bunhead and Jerkface. Even when brainwashed initially in Season 1, Mamoru couldn’t bring himself to hurt her and kept unconsciously helping her succeed. You can brainwash him, kill him, erase his memory, separate him from her, but there is nothing you can do to make Mamoru’s love for Usagi fade. In the words of Toru Furuya, the voice of Mamoru: "He loves Sailor Moon and Tsukino Usagi with his whole heart. I think he’s a very great person."

Finally, Tuxedo Mask gives Sailor Moon strength; he supports her to become the best superhero he knows she can be. He does his best to help the Senshi in battle, but it’s a story about girls protecting the world. Takeuchi wrote this character to fit that narrative; he is one of the characters she holds dearest in her heart. Few people can really understand the beauty of Usako and Mamo together and how Sailor Moon is breaking the stereotypes of gender roles. If you can’t understand that, it’s your loss.

Tuxedo Mask is the hero Tuxedo Mask haters deserve, but not the one they need right now, so they’ll hunt him. Because he can take it, because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a Moonlight Knight.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[prettyboyspenceee]

Chapter 5 - The Letter and The Kiss

 A/N: I wrote this chapter in one sitting. I am TIRED. I’m sorry I took so long to post it! 

Description: The team heads back to New York for a case that hits Olivia close to home.  

Character Appearances: Olivia Morales, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ” Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Penelope Garcia, Derek Morgan, Matthew Morales 

Disclaimer: I don’t own Criminal Minds! Kinda sucks for me :(

Word Count: 2,232 words

Posted: November 30th, 2019

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The plane ride back to New York was uncharacteristically silent. As the team went through case files, Olivia went through countless amounts of photos of her and Jamie. 

She smiled at her phone as she admired a photo of them in their teenage years, "It gets better y'know." 

Olivia smiled at JJ, "I know." 

"It doesn't get easier, though," The blonde said as she sat down beside her friend. 

"I know."

Olivia felt the team's eyes on the back of her neck, "I'm okay," she said as she turned to her coworkers. 

"Livvy, please, use this case to go home," Emily pleaded. 

"No, this is our job. I'm working regardless if the victim is Jamie or not." 

"Garcia's on the line," Rossi said, interrupting the brewing argument between the two friends.

The team turned to the computer as Garcia's face appeared on the screen, "Hey guys," her usual chipper tone was lost from her voice as she knew how close the case hit home, "NYPD just found another body, they're requesting you on the scene." 

"Where, Baby Girl?" Derek asked in attempts to cheer her up. 

"Upper West Side. I'm sending you all the address now." 

"Thanks, Garcia," Olivia said. 

Penelope flashed a small smile at Olivia. She knew her friend was hurting, "I love you guys. Stay safe." 

"We will," Spencer assured her. 

"Garcia out," Penelope said as the screen turned back to the FBI logo. 

"We don't have a case file for the newest victim," Hotch announced. 

The team nodded, "Morgan, Morales and Reid, you'll go to the newest scene. The rest of us will be at the precinct looking over evidence." 

"Are you ready, Kiddo?" Rossi asked Olivia. 

She nodded, "I'm ready." 

---

Derek, Olivia, and Spencer walked side by side as they entered the dark alley. 

"Excuse me! You can't just walk into a crime scene!" A detective called out to them. 

Olivia turned around first, "I'm SSA Olivia Morales, and these are my colleagues, SSA Derek Morgan, and Dr. Spencer Reid. We're with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit," she stuck out her hand to shake, he looked at it with disdain. Olivia quickly got the message and lowered her arm. 

"I'm sorry to disappoint, but we don't need the help," he smirked at Olivia, "especially yours."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Spencer said suddenly. 

"Trust me, no disrespect, but I'm not sure how she's qualified," the detective said. 

Derek stepped forward, "I'm going to advise that you get off our crime scene before I make you." 

The detective scoffed, "Make me." 

As Olivia watched the exchange, she began to laugh. 

"Is there something funny, little lady?" The detective said, smirking. 

Olivia smiled and approached the detective, "Detective Ryan, is it?" 

"Yes," the blonde said with a cocky grin. 

"Do you know who I am, Detective Ryan?" Olivia said, still wearing her sickly sweet smile. 

"No. Why should I?" Ryan said. 

Spencer and Derek turned to one another, both wearing confused expressions. They wondered how much leverage Olivia had. 

"Well, you see, I'm not sure if you're familiar with Police Commissioner Romero." 

"I'm familiar with Romero. How is he relevant?" Ryan said with an eye roll. 

"He's my godfather," Detective Ryan opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by Olivia, "Are you familiar with Captain Morales?" 

Detective Ryan swallowed, "Yes, she's my captain." 

The two male agents smirked, "She's my mother," Olivia said.

Detective Ryan's eyes widened, "I-I didn't know."

"That's alright, Detective Ryan. Did you serve?" 

Ryan nodded, "Yes, I served in the Navy." 

Olivia giggled, "Perfect! Are you familiar with Commander Morales?" 

"Yes, ma'am. He's a legend." 

"I'm so glad you think that! I'll pass the message along. He's my brother," Olivia said with a smirk. 

"Oh, wow. I'm so sorry. I would have never said the things I said if I knew who you were," Detective Ryan said. 

Olivia scoffed, "Of course you wouldn't. If you disrespect any more women who are on the force, I will contact your superiors." 

"Yes, ma'am."

Olivia nodded, "Now get off my crime scene."

---

"When Olivia finished putting Detective Ryan in his place, we found out that the other victim also had her pinky cut off," Derek recounted. 

"But why? Why does this unsub take the pinkies?" Rossi questioned.

The team began to mull over ideas about the significance of the pinkies, "Mouse? What do you think?" Derek asked her. 

Olivia turned her back to the whiteboard she was studying, her eyes filled with tears, "I think I know why." 

Spencer quickly moved next to Olivia and grabbed her hand, coaxing her to sit down. 

"Liv, what's wrong?" Spencer asked, still holding her hand. 

"When I was leaving the bodega the last time we were here, Jamie called me his soulmate," she took a deep breath and gripped Spencer's hand harder than ever, "I laughed it off and told him that he wasn't."

It was then when Spencer realized where she was going with her story, "The Red String."

Olivia let a few tears fall down her face, "The Red String," she said in confirmation. 

"What? Liv, Spence, what is that?" JJ asked. 

Before Spencer could speak up, Olivia beat him to it, "The Red String of Fate is a string that connects one person to their soulmate. In Japanese and Korean culture, it's often depicted as being tied around the pinky."

"It quite literally connects you to 'the one,'" Spencer said. 

"Well, that has to mean that there are some connections between the victims, right?" Emily said. 

Olivia sniffled, "No, I checked all the victims, I even had Garcia check. There are no connections." 

"This unsub only kills twice in whatever city he's in," Emily said. 

"Prentiss, what cities were those?" Rossi asked. 

Emily cleared her throat, "Little Rock, Baton Rouge, and then he jumped to here."

"Why? Why would he leave the South to come up here?" Hotch asked. 

Before anyone could answer, the door to the conference room opened. 

Olivia gasped, "Matthew?" 

Matthew Morales smiled, "Hey, sis." 

Olivia quickly stood up, pulling Spencer up with her, the team laughed at Matthew's surprised expression. 

"Oh! Sorry, Spence," Olivia said. She let go of his hand and quickly embraced Matthew. 

She turned to the team, "Guys, this is my brother, Matthew."

"Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau," Matthew knew who each team member was because of his sister, "Emily Prentiss," Matthew said with a wink. 

Emily smiled, "Nice to see you again, Matthew." 

Finally, Matthew turned to Spencer, "Dr. Spencer Reid." 

Spencer nodded, "It's nice to meet you." 

Matthew laughed, "I can't believe I finally get to meet the guy my sister won't stop talking about." 

Derek laughed as he watched his friend turn bright red, "Matt!" Olivia yelled as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

"I'm just stating the truth, Oli," Matthew said with a smirk. 

Olivia groaned, "How did you know I was here?" 

"Mom told me I could stop by."

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Of course she did." 

Matthew put a hand on his younger sister's shoulder, "I heard about Jamie. I'm sorry."

Olivia nodded, "I'm sorry too. But we're gonna catch the bastard who killed him."

Matthew gave Olivia a smile, "I know you will."

---

It was nearing the end of the first week in New York, and the team still had no leads. 

As Olivia was coming into the precinct, an officer handed her a letter, "What's this?" 

The officer shrugged, "I have no idea. It was in today's mail." 

"Why are you giving it to me?" Olivia asked. 

The officer pointed to the top right corner of the envelope, "It's addressed to you and your team."

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows, "Thank you, Officer Lewis."

Officer Lewis nodded and walked away. 

Olivia quickly made her way to the team, "We got mail."

"What?" Rossi asked.

"From who?" JJ asked. 

"No idea. It's addressed to me and the rest of us."

Before Olivia opened the letter, Spencer stopped her, "Let me open it." 

"Why?"

"It might not be safe." 

JJ smirked, Spencer would do anything to keep Olivia safe, "Alright." 

Spencer ripped open the envelope, after a thorough inspection, he determined it was safe, "Well, what does it say?" Hotch asked.

Spencer cleared his throat, “Is it crazy for you to tell your friends to go on home, so we can be here all alone? We'll meet again.” 

"The first sentence is in quotation marks," Emily pointed out. 

"Olivia, you look puzzled," Rossi pointed out. 

"I feel like I've heard the first line before," Olivia said. 

"I'll call Garcia. She'll find it," Emily said. 

"You've reached Penelope Garcia, the good witch of the BAU. What can I do for you?" Penelope said over the phone.

"Hey Pen, I need you to look something up for me," Olivia said. 

"Anything for you," Penelope gushed over the phone. 

Olivia smiled, "Ready?"

"Yup!"

“Is it crazy for you to tell your friends to go on home, so we can be here all alone?" Olivia recited. 

The team listened to the keyboard clacking on the other side, they waited a few moments before Penelope responded, "Nada."

"Really?" Olivia asked, she could've sworn she's heard the phrase before.

"Zilch, babe. Sorry," Garcia said apologetically. 

Olivia sighed, "It's alright, Pen. We'll see you when we get home."

---

The team had been in New York for too long. They still had no leads, they barely had a working profile.

Matthew joined his sister at the airport to say goodbye. She sat close to her brother, unsure if she really wanted to leave, "I feel like I owe it to him, Matthew," Olivia said. 

Matthew sighed, "I know you, you work with the best team in the world, you'll catch the unsub." 

"Thanks, Matt." 

The siblings sat in silence before Matthew stood up, "I'm going to talk to Reid for a bit." 

Olivia glared at him, "Why?"

"Just some man to man stuff. Nothing too serious," Matthew said with a grin.

"Matt, don't do anything stupid," Olvia warned. 

Matthew rolled his eyes, "I'm hurt that you think I would." 

Matthew made his way to the young doctor, "Hello, Reid." 

"Hello?" Spencer said, confused as to why Olivia's brother was speaking to him.

Matthew studied Spencer for a moment before speaking, "Jamie told me about you before he died. He told me about the conversation the two of you had." 

Spencer nodded, "I remember." 

"Jamie always wanted the best for Liv, he told me about the way the two of you looked at each other. Hell, I saw it for myself when I first met all of you." 

Spencer nodded again, wondering where Matthew was going with this, "Well, what I'm trying to say, is that you are the best for Olivia. You two clearly have something. From what Liv has told me, you're a great guy." 

Spencer looked at Olivia and smiled, "She's a great girl." 

Matthew laughed quietly, "Spencer, you should tell her."

"Tell her what?" 

"Tell her how you feel." 

---

When Spencer and Olivia arrived at their building, Olivia didn't want to be alone. 

"Hey, Spence?" Olivia called out

"Yeah?" Spencer said. His mind was still reeling from his conversation with Matthew. 

"Do you mind if I spend the night at your place? I don't think I can be alone." 

Spencer took one look at his friend, and he knew he couldn't say no, "Yeah, come inside." 

As the two got settled in his apartment, Spencer realized that Olivia didn't have any pajamas, "Do you want to go over to your apartment and grab some stuff?" He asked Olivia. 

Olivia shook her head, "I don't want to go over there right now."

Spencer nodded, "I'll find you something to wear."

Olivia shot him a quick smile, "Thanks, Spence."

---

Long after Olivia had changed into Spencer's oversized Cal-Tech hoodie and his sweatpants the two began a Doctor Who marathon. 

"Are you tired?" Spencer asked. 

"No..." Olivia said. 

Spencer smiled, "Liv, I just saw you yawn. I can sleep on the couch, you can take the bed."

"Spence, we can share the bed. We've done it before." 

Spencer thought about it for a moment before nodding, "C'mon."

As the two settled into Spencer's bed, Olivia turned to face him, "What were you and my brother talking about?" 

Spencer cleared his throat, "I-uh... he was telling me to express my feelings for someone."

Olivia bit her lip, "Who?" 

"What?"

"Who is someone?" Olivia asked.

Spencer waited for a minute before responding, "You."

"How do you feel?" 

Spencer swallowed, "My feelings for you are unexplainable. I can't put them into words. When I'm with you, I know I'm okay. Whenever I'm around you, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. You make my heart race, Olivia." 

Olivia smiled, "Spencer, I feel the same way." 

Spencer let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "C-Can I kiss you?" 

Olivia smiled and nodded. As Spencer connected his lips with Olivia's, she felt like she was floating. The kiss was slow and sweet. Olivia was breathless when they pulled apart. 

Spencer smiled at Olivia, "I've been wanting to do that for a while now." 

Olivia laughed, "So have I." 

Olivia yawned, she rested her head against Spencer's chest, "Goodnight, Spencer."

Spencer smiled, he kissed Olivia's forehead, "Goodnight, Olivia." 

---

tags: @reid-187​ @queenspencerreid05​

[lesbiananimeism]

Just because you don't like kotori. Do not push your views onto other people lol. Hey newsflash, kotoumi is more CANON than honoumi. Honoka's sheer lack of character should justify that. "Oh look I don't like Kotori. I push and staple political views to characters who are still in school. I staple my beliefs to those characters even though there is a complete LACK OF speculation regarding that." Do do do. Kotori. Do do do.. kotoeli.. Do do do KOTOUMI.

Man you’ve really got a bone to pick with me, but I don’t think either of us really know quite exactly what it is, so as a result, you’re coming to me on anon and just spouting random bullshit trying to get a rise out of me, I’m assuming. And because I’m in a discoursy mood and really just a shit mood in general, I guess I’ll take the bait.

But under a read more because apparently I made it long.

“Just because you don't like kotori. Do not push your views onto other people lol.” I’m assuming this is in response to my comment on one of Nova’s posts with my “What character?” about Kotori. First of all- man I didn’t know making a joke based off of my opinion/view of a character was pushing said opinion, where did that memo go and why didn’t I receive it? Second of all... actually there isn’t really a “second of all” because I have no idea what other situation this would be in regards to, considering I’ve never once said “Hey you shouldn’t like Kotori because of these reasons,” only, “I don’t like Kotori and these are my reasons behind it”. And if that’s pushing my views on someone I don’t think they actually had solid views on the subject in the first place.

“kotoumi is more CANON than honoumi. Honoka's sheer lack of character should justify that.” I’m assuming this is meant to be a satire of me whenever I talk about KotoUmi, but it’s a pretty poorly done satire since it’s missing the one key piece... I’ve given my reasons behind why I say HonoUmi is more “canon” than KotoUmi and why I don’t ship KotoUmi. On countless occasions. Every so often I get a KotoUmi ask and I’ll explain why I don’t ship the ship, and why I don’t like the ship, and that satire is very much one of my major reasons why I don’t like it. Whenever I used to get in discussions/arguments about KotoUmi, every time someone tried to tell me KotoUmi was “more canon”, they never once actually gave any evidence to back it up. And when they did, they never gave any analysis or consideration for context that lend to the subtext of the situations being given- just a “Hey Kotori and Umi are on screen alone totes a couple”.

“Oh look I don't like Kotori.” Yeah that’s true, nothing really to argue there.

“I push and staple political views to characters who are still in school. I staple my beliefs to those characters even though there is a complete LACK OF speculation regarding that.” This should really be two different argumentative points but honestly I really really adore the insinuation that A.) that high schoolers have no kind of concept of political or economic views/opinions (and man if that’s true my entire high school’s government classes must’ve been for the weird kids), and B.) that I don’t give any sort of consideration to a character’s backstory and personality before I “staple” a belief on them and only do it by what character(s) I like more than others. Which of course perfectly explains my analysis on how Nico, one of my least enjoyed characters in the entire franchise, is most likely to share my political and economic views considering the social and economic environment she lives and grew up in, or how Kotori and Hanayo would both be milquetoast centrist fucks because they don’t have any sort of view that they think is actually worth fighting for except the happiness of their friends (the milquetoast centrist allies that we need). CLEARLY there was a total lack of speculation and consideration before I did/do it.

If you don’t have any sort of political or economic views then I commend you for being able to safely ignore politics entirely so as to not gain any sort of views, though you should probably really consider why you’ve been able to just successfully turn a blind eye to them and not form an opinion. But I think getting annoyed and angry with other people that do have those opinions also giving political views to fake characters that may or may not be in high school (and as I explained yesterday, in my mind, they’re all 22-24 in my head anyway) and actively going on anon to bitch about them doing it is more of pushing an opinion than anything I’ve ever done.

“Do do do. Kotori. Do do do.. kotoeli.. Do do do KOTOUMI.” And this is just a bunch of random nonsense that serves no purpose except really to take any sort of mature credibility to your complaints.