#Or... have I been uploading with a bias?

[lonely-coconut]

Blinkie.World preview!

Here is a preview of Blinkie.world, my blinkie collecton site! The goal here is to collect every blinkie on earth (but only if they're free to use, and can be credited). They're all sorted into these color pages, and also sorted into tons of sub categories on other pages (like food, animals, holidays, etc etc). This is what some of the color pages look like now! Once I have at least 300 blinkies in each color, then I'll consider the site full enough to go live! I'm aiming to get it online by Art Fight (aka by July this year).

Do note that this isn't actually an accurate representation of how many I have. I have thousands more than this! I just have to code them all in. It's not as quick as just an image tag and a link, because it also needs to be named, linked to it's source, tagged so I know what categories they're in, have a link to a screenshot that proves who the creator is and their terms (in case the credit link dies one day), have alt text, and have hover text which says the creator and a description of what the blinkie says! So, it's not like this:

<img src="">

It's actually like this:

<a href="" target="_BLANK">

<img src="" alt="" title="Credit: . ID: """></a>

<!--Categories: -->

<!--Screencap: -->

And that's for every blinkie! You can probably see how this is so time consuming, but I think it's worth it. I've never seen a blinkie collection with 6,000+ blinkies, much less every single one credited, and even less sorted into dozens of categories! It's like I have a blinkie for everything, while also knowing the creator of each, and being able to easily search for a specific one via the sorting system! It's especially good for helping others find blinkies, and helping people get the sources for blinkies they already have! It's also great for finding blinkies to use for your ocs (which is my initial reason for doing this).

I'm very excited about this. I really think this could be a very fun resource for people, and that aside, I just really like having so many in my possession. I love to see them. I even have blinkies that I've downloaded before they were deleted off the internet! That's very exciting to me. I have blinkies that are straight up lost media, and I'm happy to be able to preserve them.

Of course as I said, it's going to take forever to add them all, but I'm chipping away at it. I shall not be stopped! Also, if you want a blinkie in any of these screenshots above, just let me know! I'll get it and it's source for you, easy peasy! I'll post more screenshots as significant progress is made, but for now, it's back to downloading blinkies!

[chipper-smol]

ISAT 2025 Art Bang!

After the telephone game lot of people told me that they were interested in joining another project just like it so here we are!

Sign up is available here!

There's a project server invite at the end, you're not required to join it but please don't feel anxious to join! The previous participants have created a very kind community 'v'

The timeline!

What is an Art Bang?

An art bang is meant to create a BANG of fanwork in the fandom! You (and as many authors who sign up) come together to write fanfics from scratch. The fanfic can be an idea that you’ve been wanting to write for a while and just haven’t gotten the motivation to, a fanfic you haven’t been able to continue but want to, or it can be an idea someone else suggests when you join.

Halfway through the writing process authors will be paired up with artists who have read a summary of their work and want to draw for it. When everything is finished, everyone will release their fanfic and fanart in the same week in an explosion of fanworks!

More info below the readmore!

How does it work?

Step 1: Authors sign up and start writing on June 28th. Authors CANNOT add any words to their official word count until after June 28th.

Step 2: After about a month, Authors submit a snippet or summary of their fic which is presented to the artist participants anonymously.

Step 3: Artists choose as many fics that they’d be interested in drawing for and I organize and pair up everyone together.

Step 4: Authors finish up writing, Artists finish up drawing.

Step 5: Works are scheduled to be uploaded to Ao3 and/or Tumblr!

Rules/Expectations

If you use generative AI or AI “assistance” I will trap you in a timeloop ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

AI anything is not allowed under any circumstances and will get you immediately banned from this project and any future projects.

All fics must be uploaded to either Ao3 or Tumblr

Spoilers for ISAT and SASASA:P are not reinforced in the Discord server

Authors

Authors must write at least 10k words in total.

Authors can write as many chapters and fanfics as they want.

Can be about anything! It can even be a continuation of a previous fic that you’ve lost motivation on, but you still must write at least 10k words in total.

Can be any rating! General Audiences to Explicit are welcome 

Authors who want to write Explicit fics must confirm they are 18 years or older.

Artists

Artists must create at least one finished artwork. 

If artists want to create something like an animation or animatic, they can check in with me and we can decide together what is a reasonable finished goal.

Artists can create artwork for multiple fics.

Artists who want to draw for explicit fics must confirm they are 18 years or older.

Can I share snippets of my work before the artist claims?

Preferably no, artist claims are made anonymously so that works are picked without any bias.

10k words seems like a lot?

Altogether, yes, but this challenge extends over 2.5 - 3 months, that’s roughly 3k words a month.

Can I write multiple fics?

Yes, but one of them needs to reach the 10k word mark.

Do explicit fics mean nsfw/sex included things, or is it general heavy themed ones?

Both. Nsfw/sex and general heavy themes.

How 'high level' do the art pieces need to be? i dont want to just do simple sketches of course but how complex should they be?

Since you'll be given a month+ to work on your piece, at the minimum it should be a polished piece. IE Lineart, color, shading

[bonesandthebees]

Help I'm so out of the loop, what did Dream do this time? Who was the Mangoball person? How is Connor related to any of this??

ok. ok. there is so much to explain so I'll start with the easy stuff.

after so many years, mangoball revealed themself on a post by icarus aka apollos-boyfriend. they are now a beatles fan.

god bless

okay now. sigh. dream.

you're not going to believe me but this is a condensed version.

but recently a clip surfaced from the shut up I'm talking podcast of tommy talking about how much he disliked meeting mizkif. mizkif wasn't thrilled about this. xqc called tommy cringe for it, tommy made a post making fun of xqc calling him cringe for wearing a trump shirt during the stream he did where he met trump, xqc shot back by tweeting one of tommy's standup clips and making fun of him for having an audience of mostly teenage girls. then, despite not being mentioned or involved in the conversation in any way, dream qrted xqc's tweet making fun of tommy with a meme outright calling all tommyinnit fans the r slur.

dream ended up deleting the tweet but only after a few hours or something so everyone had already seen it. he tried to defend himself on twitter, claiming that because he's autistic he's allowed to use it. this all happened very late at night in the US so the british streamers were asleep. dream also made a reddit post trying to defend himself, insulting tommy and co. and saying tommy had no backbone. next day, tubbo had a stream outright talking about how much he dislikes dream and defending tommy, while also acknowledging his own bias towards his friends.

that night, once again when the rest of the british ccs had gone to sleep, dream did a very late night stream that was basically him crashing out for 3 straight hours. he went over very cherry-picked parts of tubbo's VOD, 'explaining' himself and talking about how tommy was always such a terrible cruel friend to him (when tommy was, like, 17 mind you. he covered so many things I literally cannot remember them all but he shared private dms he's had with multiple ccs and also outright said someone shared skephalo porn art in the dsmp discord when tommy and tubbo were 16 but it was fine because the teens 'asked to be treated like adults' (??????????)

today tubbo streamed again, watching dream's stream and responding and acknowledging his own slip ups/mistakes he made while also calling dream out for a lot of the bs he said. he was also supposed to have a call on stream with dream to talk it out, but then during tubbo's stream tommy uploaded an absolutely scathing 5 minute video talking about how terrible dream has been over the years, and dream cancelled the scheduled call he had with tubbo. like if you want to watch anything from this entire mess, watch tommy's video. if you want a more full view of things, watch tubbo's VOD from today.

then quackity streamed today and everyone expected him to say something because dream also brought him up for some reason?? during his stream??? and shared private dms they had?????? but quackity is still winning the idgaf war. he just promoed some new stuff he's doing and then went "there was something else I was going to talk about but I forgot what it was. oh well, later guys!"

look this is. again. kind of condensed. the last two days have felt like ten years.

meanwhile connor has been having gold tier commentary on the whole mess on twitter, unsurprisingly.

[ateez-himari]

250327; CEILING MIRROR

[NEW UPLOAD FROM MIN.HIMEEE]

♫ Sleep Token & Himari • One More Time

Liked by min9yu_k and 2,019,482 others

min.himeee Our Bodies Miss Each Other 🩶

View all 971,029 comments

fixon_n_on come over, now

thv i'm emailing KQ right now and asking them to shut off your internet access

↳ j.m Whatever happened to media training 😒 The second we leave she's at it with those freaky captions, she really thought her big brothers wouldn't notice smh

min9yu_k so jungkook left you the keys to his house but not me ☹️ i'm so telling him you took those pics in his bed

iii_sleeptoken To think we were so close to having a new lead singer this pretty 🤧 Someone tell II that she's taken, he's been yapping about her nonstop

↳ ii_sleeptoken Fuck off mate I haven't 🖕 Vessel was literally rambling on about how close he was to kissing her leave me alone, she's just my bias what's his excuse

↳ iii_sleeptoken So you weren't gushing over the fact that she leaned over your shoulder and asked you to teach her how to play-

sound_of_coups why do you always show up on my timeline like this...

_zyozyo Black really suits our little angel 🤭 Ahh I forget how old you are sometimes, just look at those big baby boba eyes

_jeongjaehyun i don't know about the whole yearning thing but i miss when juniors used to buy their oppas meals, ps: i take payment in food delivery :(

27 March 2025 • See Original

[smajor-skin-bracket]

WELCOME TO THE SCOTT SMAJOR1995 SKIN BRACKET!!!

*cheers and applause*

I’m @canaryy15 and with a lot of brackets going around i thought, hey, i like seeing people fight to the death over silly block people so ill make one! And who to do other than my favorite gay man of the century??

AND WE’RE GETTING STRAIGHT TO IT!!!

How i made the bracket was half bias but not over which were going against eachother! I chose the skins that i think were some of scott’s best (going all the way back to but not including his old skin from like xlife i think?? i can do a smaller bracket if you guys wanna see one for the older skins but im sticking to his newest ones)

I didnt include ALL of them, since there’s a LOT, plus since i was just on Namemc some like lore ones (like Zornoth and Chromia scott with normal eyes) were included and i just wanted to do the ones that were clearly Scott! And then for the bracket i just put all the skins in wheel of names and then spun it for that

And now… What we’ve been waiting for…

THE BRACKET!!!!

Im gonna have to look up what some of these skins are bc i know MOST of them but again it just got it off name mc so like some of the MCC ones i can make a good guess for the team but the only one i know the specific event is endercup LMAO

The polls will be posted gradually at 5PM CST TONIGHT!!! Because im impatient!

Under the cut will include how Propaganda will work!

HAVE FUN FIGHTING FOR THE WINNING SKIN!!!!

Reblogs are appreciated!

OKAY SO PROPAGANDA!!!

WRITTEN PROPAGANDA:

Written propaganda is like explaining why so and so skin is the one people should vote for!! You can make propaganda like this as soon as NOW! As in you dont have to wait for the poll to be published!

This can be done in a lot of ways:

- Reblogging this post and stating your propaganda

- Submitting propaganda in the ask box (your ask will not be answered it’s just a way of getting it to me)

- Messaging THIS account your propaganda (not my main one)

Your propaganda will be added to the post with the skin’s poll, and you can make as much propaganda as you want for more than one skin! Written propaganda can also be submitted after the poll is uploaded, and i will edit the poll to have your propaganda.

Now, the more common form of propaganda,

ART PROPAGANDA!!!

Drawing propaganda is very simple!! It will not be something i add to the poll post itself, but here’s how you submit drawing propaganda:

- Reblog the corresponding poll and state the skin your making propaganda for

- If people vote for the skin you made propaganda for, you can state what you’ll make for them if they send proof in your askbox! This is not limited to drawing, it can be anything! Writing is allowed as well! All propaganda must be PG though, i am in fact a minor.

When you reblog, i’ll reblog it back to here as well so people can see your propaganda!

If you have any questions on this feel free to message this blog!

[diorctrl]

MUSIC BANK HOST : idol!enha x idol! reader

𓂂 ˳ enhypen maknae line genre: idol au, fluff, different scenarios warnings: intentional lower case, hyung line

kim seonwoo ( 김선우 )

୨୧ 𓂂 ˳ you’re apart of formis_9, you’re also sunghoon’s little sister. you’re the youngest of formis and it’s been a known thing that you have crush on sunoo but everyone just brushed it off as the “little sister having a crush on big brothers friend.” thing but NO you were sure that you were going to marry this man but he never payed you much mind but he obviously knew about your little(HUGE) crush on him every one knew so he wasn’t fazed when he was told that he would be your mc partner, he would just have to do his normal routine of completely ignoring your advances but this time it was different.

“sunoo oppa..” yn trails off looking up at the older boy, he looks at you confused because it was obvious that you were going off script, “you look handsome today, you always look handsome but you look extra handsome today.” she flirts leaning close to him, sunoo’s face heated up slightly because you’ve never been this bold before but the only that he could do was flirt back so it doesn’t throw the mood off and from that day it became your dynamic when you were mcing, you guys would flirt like crazy in front of the camera to the point that it seeping into your regular lifestyle to the point that sunoo has been wondering if he should finally give you a chance (HE DID!)

yang jungwon ( 양정원 )

୨୧ 𓂂 ˳ you’re apart of new jeans, and just like jungwon you were on the younger side but was you were the leader of the group. with that in thought jungwon had immediately taken a liking towards you even though you’ve never interacted but he was interested in you because you both had something in common (+ you were insanely pretty in his opinion) but with you guys never interacting jungwon was shocked when he found that you yourself personally asked for him to fill in for your mc partner that would be away because in his mind you didn’t even know he existed but little did he know…

“you did so good today!” you exclaimed smiling big at jungwon as you guys wrapped up filming, your smile made his heart flutter a little and he smiled softly at you and thank you. “I knew you would do good, that’s why chose you.” you said, making pride grow in his chest, “really?” he asked. “yeah, you’re my bias in enhypen,” you say nudging him causing jungwon’s face to heat up, “and you are pretty cute as well..” jungwo felt like he was on fire, “you think im cute?” he asks like it’s the most unbelievable thing in the world. “yeah,” you said with a nonchalant shrug, “and I also would like to hand out with you more.”

oh how lucky was he.

nishimura riki ( 西村リキ )

୨୧ 𓂂 ˳ you’re apart of baby monster , riki was first introduced to you through the introduction that yg posted for the series of the groups journey, he immediately took a liking towards you and your dancing it was obvious that you were going to be his bias if you debut with the group, he routed for you secretly the whole time and his members never mentioned the new group that was being formed so he thought he was the only one that knew about you untill he heard jake on the phone with someone who sounded awfully like you and riki being the curious person that he was asked the older member who he was talking to and his mouth dropped when jake said that he was talking to his cousin about the new episode that yg uploaded. riki couldn’t believe it yn was jakes cousin and if there’s one thing he knew is that he had to use that to his advantage to get to you and he definitely did by stealing your number from Jake’s phone and texting you a weird pick up line and one thing lead to another and BOOM you’re his girlfriend. one thing that shocked the work is how fast you got an mc job after debut and that yg actually let you be an mc for music bank just a few weeks after debut and you were soooo popular which meant you were on high demand, everyone wanted a piece of the new it girl and riki had to sit there at watch.

riki scowled at his screen as he watched some boy from a group flirt with you as you interviewed them did they have no manners? oh how he wanted to just jump through the screen and cause havoc. “hey!” he jumped when his door opened to reveal you walking over to his bed in more comfortable clothes from the ones you were wearing this morning, he took a look at you before turning around burying his head in his pillow not even looking up when he felt the weight in of you laying on his back, “what’s wrong?” you asked putting your chin on his shoulder, he only responded with a muffled nothing. “Come on I know something is wrong.” you say making it known that you’re not going to give up making riki let out a sigh, “I don’t like how these guys are acting towards you, flirting with you as if you have a boyfriend.” he says frowning when you let out a small giggle, “oh, so you’re jealous?” “I’m not- yeah I am.” his response makes you laugh even more, “riki, you don’t have to worry about those boys, all I care about is you.” “really?” “really.” you respond softly causing a smile to break onto his face, “now come on let’s go get food.”

[binniesbooks]

halloo, I come with a request 🧎‍♀️‍➡️🧎‍♀️‍➡️ ofc feel free to ignore it if you don't feel like writing about it or js don't like the request, that's totally OK!!

but I have been thinking about idol!soobin x fan!reader (feeding my delusions HAHAH) maybe the reader started out as a fan but at a meet and greet or something, she caught soobin's eye and then yada yada they get together !!

then, one day, y/n is on her phone and comes across an edit of soobin. ofc edits of him weren't anything new to her considering she was a fan before she got w soobin but this one caught her eye bcs it wasn't about soobin specifically but about his hands 👀👀 she saw it in a whole different light but ofc was too shy to tell soobin herself so she keeps it a secret

but then another day, in their shared apartment, reader is watching yet another edit of soobin's hands but what she doesn't know is that soobin came back earlier than usual and was right behind her, seeing the edit. that's when it clicked, why y/n was more nervous than usual these past few days, staring at his hands. and then well smut😌😌😌 (kinda mean dom soobin plsss)

feel free to alter it as u like or not do it at all HAHAHA just needed to get my thoughts out!! love yaa

-🤍

• CHOKING HAZARD

SB 000 .F23 2024

wc 4.1k

pairings meandomidolbf!Soobin x subfem!reader

warnings size kink, choking, fingering, slight oral (fem receiving) unsafe sex, pet names, cum eating, creampie, slight degradation (plus if I missed anything)

faye's note TOTALLY DOWN BAD FOR SOOBIN'S HANDS THAT I WOULD GLADLY SIGN A PETITION TO START A FANDOM FOR HIS PRETTY HANDS??? GAAHHH! Anyway, although I felt like it took me decades to finish this fic, I enjoyed writing this one. Hmhmhm. 🙂‍↕️

"Girl, I swear! He was staring at you the whole time!" Your friend exclaimed on your way home after attending a fan meet event with your favorite K-pop boy band, TXT.

"Stop with your delusions, Rain," you chuckled. "Why would my bias stare at me? That's impossible," you said, scoffing at the idea your friend had been conducting on your way home.

"Oh my god, you're such a dumb Soobrangdan, I swear! You're losing your chance!" Your friend was about to burst out, lucky for you, there are only a few locals riding the bus, and they're not paying attention to your friend making a fuss.

You glanced at the photo card dangling on your bag, your bias really looks handsome. You like the other four guys, but you’re committed to Soobin. The tall guy gave the cute yet sexy and hot aura. His bunny smile and pretty face made you fall for him over and over again. --- You we’re a total simp for Soobin.

"Here! Look! MOAs are uploading pictures and videos here and there. Take a look and tell me if I'm wrong!" Rain frowns. You took her phone and scrolled through the platform.

'She's so lucky! Soobin has been staring at her the whole time!'

'She's a Soobrangdan, right? How lucky!'

'Oh, to be stared at by your bias!'

'Prayer reveal, sis!'

It was true. Soobin was looking at you the whole damn time. He looks at the crowd for a second, quickly returning his gaze at you. Oh my god! What in the world have you done to be looked at like this by your bias?!

"Oh fuck, I hope Taehyun would look at me like how Soobin stared at you last time!" It's been a couple of months since the last fan meeting you attended. And this time, you are attending another fan signing event again.

You weren't expecting anything at all, or so you thought. Maybe, deep inside, you're expecting Soobin to recognize you from the crowd. For him to look at you the same way he did last time.

"You're the one who gave me the crocheted KARA lightstick last time, how could I forget you?" Soobin's bunny smile flashed right in front of your face. His big hand is almost covering your tiny ones.

You were giggling the whole time. His hand envelopes yours. He even held your wrist in an almost teasing manner as he compared your size difference. Soobin couldn't stop smiling either. He adores how your hand fits perfectly on his. How the size of your ring finger is the same size as his pinky finger.

And just before you move on to the next member, he sneakily wrote something on the album he was signing.

"I really recognize you, y/n. I hope we can see each other more often," he whispered. "And... don't let anybody touch this album aside from you, yeah?" He smirks as he slides the signed album towards you.

You went home in a dazed state. Your friend couldn't even talk to you properly, frustrated she just shut up. You weren't saying anything aside from the constant "huh?" and "mhm!", while you were clutching the album against your chest tightly.

After doing your nightly routine, you jumped on your bed. The white and orange-colored album caught your eye as you quickly got up and grabbed it.

Sniffing the album, you slowly turned every page. Admiring every beautiful face on each page. Until you saw his picture near the middle part—it was Soobin's picture.

'Hi pretty, call me if you're free.' was written on the edge of the page along with a phone number. Your jaw dropped to the floor, confused and baffled.

You were expecting something more like a sweet message or such, not a 'call me' note.

Yet you found yourself dialing the number written on the page of the album.

"H-hello?" You muttered when you heard a deep breath on the other end. "I-is this Soobin? Choi Soobin?" You were practically biting your nails while muttering the words carefully. What if it's just a bluff?

"Y/n?" the voice answered. Alas! It was Soobin!

"H-hi! I... I'm... I just--"

"Calm down, sweetie," Soobin chuckled.

You took a deep breath and whispered a soft hi. Soobin hums as an answer. The call was short, because Soobin was busy with his schedule. Well, that one-time call already meant a lot to you, who are you to complain?

A couple of months later, TXT organized another fan signing event for their comeback stage. This time, it was a lot bigger than the other. This time, thousands of people are expected to participate. And once again, you and your friends were lucky to acquire the VIP ticket.

It was a crisp autumn evening, and the anticipation in the air was electric. Fans from all corners of the city had gathered for the long-awaited fan meeting of TXT, their favorite boy band. Among the thousands in attendance, you found yourself at the front of the stage, heart racing as the boys took their places.

As the event kicked off, Soobin scanned the crowd, his gaze dancing over faces filled with excitement until it landed on you. You felt your cheeks flush, unsure if it was the light or the warmth of his gaze that sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as his eyes locked onto yours, a playful smirk breaking across his face. You quickly looked down, too shy to hold his gaze any longer, but not before you noticed the playful glint in his eyes.

“Who’s ready to have some fun?” Soobin called out, his voice laced with enthusiasm. The crowd erupted in cheers, but all you could think about was that moment of connection. As the various activities unfolded—games, Q&As, and performances—you couldn’t shake the feeling that Soobin’s eyes kept drifting back toward you.

During a particularly lively segment, he started to walk toward the edge of the stage, playfully teasing the fans. You held your breath, half-expecting him to call someone else into the spotlight. Then, without warning, he pointed directly at you. “You! Come here!”

Your heart stopped. “Me?” You stammered, disbelief evident on your face as you made your way to the front. The crowd parted with laughter and cheers, urging you on. With each step, the adrenaline surged, and by the time you stood before him, your heart was pounding furiously.

“Hi! What’s your name?” Though his eyes were actually screaming, he knew your name, leaning closer, his warm smile making it hard to concentrate.

“Uhm, it's y/n," you managed, your voice barely audible above the loud cheers around you.

“Well, aren’t you brave?” He said with a playful wink. “I have a feeling you’re going to be my favorite fan tonight.

”You couldn’t believe it—he was flirting with you right there in front of everyone! The other members laughed and encouraged him, but he didn’t take his eyes off you. As the event progressed, he kept making lighthearted jokes, steering the attention back to you each time.

When the event ended, he stepped down from the stage and walked toward you. “You know,” he said, his voice low enough for only you to hear, “I think we should hang out sometime. I’d like to get to know you better."

Your breath caught in your throat as the other members around you gasped. Was he really asking you out? “Are you serious?” You asked, trying to mask the disbelief with a teasing smile.

"Absolutely,” he smiled back, mischief dancing in his eyes. “What do you say? Just us, away from the cameras and crowds?”

After exchanging contact information with a heart full of hope, your night wrapped up, but that was only the beginning. Over the next few weeks, Soobin kept his promise. Text messages turned into phone calls, and soon enough, the two of you were meeting in secret cafés, parks, and even sharing ice cream on chilly evenings. Each moment together deepened the bond you were forming.

Dating someone like Soobin wasn’t without its challenges; the scrutiny of being in the public eye weighed heavily on both of you. But amidst the noise, you found solace in the quiet moments—the way he would listen intently as you spoke, the laughter you shared over inside jokes, and the warmth of his hand finding yours.

One night, while walking beneath a canopy of stars, Soobin gently squeezed your hand and said, “I never expected to find someone so genuine in this crazy world. I’m really glad you caught my eye that day.”

With your heart racing, you looked up at him, his face lit with anticipation. “I'd never imagined myself dating you, Soob, I even thought you're joking. But... You’ve changed my life in ways I never could have imagined. You made me love life even more,” you sighed.

In that moment, the world faded away, leaving just the two of you standing under the sparkling sky, two hearts dancing to a rhythm that felt undeniably right.

"Were you watching edits of me again?" You were startled from where you were sitting when Soobin spoke.

"Oh my god, Bin! At least announce that you're home, else I’ll end up dying young," you joked, your hand still on your chest.

Soobin chuckled, planting a kiss on your forehead, "I did, sweetie. Maybe you're just too focused on what you were watching that you didn't even hear me. What if it's not me? What if it's a killer or a thief?" Soobin pouts as he melts into your arms.

"What the hell are you saying? Do they have the house key?" Your eyebrows raised into a frown and Soobin pouted.

It's been only 3 months since you started officially dating him, yet you knew almost everything about him. You're too familiar with when he's stressed out, or when he's angry, or when he just wants to be clingy.

One typical Saturday afternoon, while the sun was casting a warm golden hue across the room, you sat on your bed, scrolling through social media.

You found yourself watching a short video clip that featured your boyfriend in a relaxed interview setting. He was gesturing with his hands, those long, slender fingers of his gliding through the air as he spoke animatedly about his passion for music. You couldn’t help but feel a flutter in your chest as you admired his natural charisma. You had always found him attractive, but something about his fingers today set your imagination racing.

The way he drummed his fingers on the table, or how he would push his hair back while speaking, was captivating. You leaned in closer, your face flush with warmth, almost forgetting the world around you. The clip had sparked a whirlwind of fantasies in your mind, and you lost yourself in thoughts of how his fingers might feel on your skin, exploring and teasing.

Just as you were about to replay the video for the third time, you heard a soft click at your door. Your heart raced as you quickly looked away from your phone, feeling like a deer caught in headlights.

To your surprise, it was Soobin himself, looking casual yet undeniably cute in his oversized hoodie. “Hey, i'm home,” he said, a playful smile spreading across his face. You froze, phone still in hand, the video still playing in the background as your cheeks flushed a deep shade of red.

“What were you watching?” he asked. You felt your throat go dry, words barely finding their way out. “Um, just a… a video,” you stammered, avoiding his gaze.

He stepped closer, his curiosity piqued. “Oh really? Is it something interesting?”

For a second, you thought of showing it to him, telling him about it, yet you shut it off and brushed it all aside.

"W-what do you want for dinner?" You muttered, shoving your phone in your pocket.

"Don't cook tonight, I booked a restaurant." Soobin smiled, shrugging off the matter that was the video on your phone.

You took a quick shower, picked some nice casual clothes, and took his hand in yours, walking hand in hand once again.

Soobin makes a joke about you might be cheating on him and that you're hiding something from him. But of course, you showed proof you didn't do anything of the sort.

Dinner went well. Aside from some pair of eyes probably boring holes in your skull, Soobin made you comfortable nonetheless. You had a good time with him again, after a while of being busy with his hectic schedule.

The next day, Soobin went out earlier than usual. They were called in for a sudden meeting for their upcoming shoot.

You were enjoying your time alone. Baking some goods for him to taste when he gets home. Cleaning and rearranging the house stuff for a cleaner and cozy space. You even changed the curtains, the sheets, the pillowcases, and the blankets.

After a whole day of cleaning, you sat down on your usual spot on the sofa, turning on your phone to consume some entertainment. You found yourself searching for the clip you had watched yesterday.

And once again, it made your head spin. His long and slender fingers look so pretty. His huge hand made you think about something unholy. Your fingers slowly digging into the soft pillow, your thighs rubbing against each other.

His eyebrows shot up in genuine surprise, a soft laugh escaping his lips. “My fingers? What about them?”

You jolt up from where you were sitting, quickly shutting off your phone and shoving it face down on the couch.

"H-hey! Y-you're phone--- I mean home!" you exclaimed, quickly hitting your head and cursing yourself for messing your words up.

You felt your face grow even warmer, heart racing. The heat of embarrassment surged through you, but there was something unmistakably thrilling about his interest. Soobin tilts his head to the side, curious of what that was all about.

"They’re just… really nice,” you finally admitted, barely above a whisper, a mix of shyness and audacity washing over you.

Soobin’s smile widened, and a glimmer of something playful sparked in his deep-set eyes. “Nice, huh? I guess there are worse things to be complimented on.” He took a step closer, invading your personal space, making you acutely aware of how your body responded to his proximity.

You could feel the coldness of the concrete wall seeping through your thin shirt and kissing your warm back.

Suddenly, the air was thick with tension, a magnetic pull drawing you toward him. He leaned down slightly, tilting his head, his gaze locked onto yours. “You know, I can show you just how nice they are…” His voice dropped to a whisper, the teasing lilt sending shivers down your spine.

Without thinking, you leaned forward, and the space between you collapsed. The spark ignited, and Soobin captured your lips in a soft, tentative kiss. It was electrifying, leaving you breathless and wanting more.

As he pulled back, you gasped at the intensity of the moment, still dazed.

"Are you okay?” he asked, a mix of concern and mischief playing on his features. You nodded, your heart racing. “I think so… I just never imagined…”

“Neither did I,” he interrupted, his fingers brushing against your cheek, a subtle caress that felt intimate and exhilarating. “But sometimes, the unexpected can lead to something amazing.”

Before you could process it, Soobin pulled you closer, his lips finding yours again, this time more passionately. Your hands instinctively found their way to his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as you melted into him. You could feel his warmth radiating off him, igniting an undeniable fire within you.

As the kiss deepened, his fingers moved down your arms, tracing patterns that sent jolts of electricity through your body. You pulled back for a moment, eyes searching his. “Are you sure about this?”

His playful grin returned, and he nodded. “If you're down, I'm down. Who am I to decline? Besides, I think you need me," he chuckled as he gripped your waist.

With a rush of adrenaline, you surrendered to the moment, letting go of your shyness and embracing the connection between you. It was as if nothing else mattered; the world outside faded away, leaving just the two of you in this shared sanctuary of desire.

The afternoon melted into an evening of exploration and passion, every soft touch and lingering kiss drawing you closer. Soobin’s fingers, the very ones that had ignited this whole encounter, explored your skin like an artist painting a masterpiece, each stroke igniting flames of longing in their wake.

"S-soobin," you choked out.

"Yes love? I'm here. I'm still here," he muttered, kissing your neck. He then pulled away and grabbed your arm, sniffing your wrist. "You smell sweet and amazing, did you take a bath already?" he asked. You simply nodded, pulling your hand away and wrapping them around his waist.

"Bedroom? I think I really need you right now," you bit your lower lip as you look up at him.

"You do?" Soobin taunts, lifting one of his hands, gently rubbing your lip. He pulled your lower lip down with his thumb. "I don't know what I could do to you. Your tiny body looks so frail and fragile compared to me."

"Please, need you..." Your eyes pleading to the tall man, rubbing your thighs together, wanting to finally feel him.

Soobin carefully wrapped his hand around your neck, slowly tightening his grip. You heard him curse under his breath when you gasped for air, clutching on his shirt. His grip easily made you lightheaded and your mind hazy. You're totally making him develop his size kink in a sexual way.

"B-bin... S-soobin..." You managed to squeak out as fat tears fell from your waterline. He pulled his hand away, and he watched you catch your breath, whimpering on his chest as you hugged him tight. Not wanting to let him know how turned on you are.

"Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, you just look... You looked so pretty when you're all drooling and crying with just my hand wrapped around your neck," he said as he hugged you back, his voice tinged with apology.

"F-felt good... Want more..." You admitted, burying your face in his chest. Soobin carried you all the way to your shared bedroom. Laying you down on the bed, carefully stripping you out of your thin clothes, and hovering above you.

"Y/n, if we don't stop now, I can't guarantee you I would be able to stop later on," he sighed, fingers gently brushing your plush thighs.

"Need you. Need you so much, please..." You begged, grabbing his toned arm. Soobin dipped his head down, kissing the tip of your nose.

"I love you, don't think that I only want your body. I love you because you are you, y/n." You weren't expecting him to spew assurance in the midst of this, especially since he was suddenly talking about your body, but it made you feel at ease for some reason.

He then grabs your hands, restraining them both with just a single hand above your head. "My hands and fingers are pretty, you say? Watch them for me, yeah?" he said as he slowly rubbed your clit.

"Mmphh!" You squirmed under him, a faint blush creeping onto your cheeks.

His digits slowly disappeared in your hole as he fucked you with his fingers. Grinning widely while watching your small frame thrash beneath him.

"Say it again," he commands, "That my fingers are pretty."

"B-bin mmphh! Your fingers are--- ahh! Are p-pretty!"

"How pretty are they?" he edged, curling his long fingers inside.

"Ohh! S-so pretty w-wanna c-cum--fuck ahh! W-wanna cum on them!" You managed.

"Mhm, go ahead, do it."

With a few more pumps, you came undone on his fingers, body twitching from sensitivity. His face lit up, looking proud that he managed to make you come on his fingers. When he pulled out his fingers, they were glistening with your arousal. Sticky. Wet. Creamy.

Yet your eyes were fixed on his essence-covered fingers. It didn't escape his sight, smirking as one nasty idea came to his mind.

He shoved his fingers in your mouth, letting you taste yourself. Allowing you to suck on his pretty fingers covered with your slick. Making you play with his fingers with your warm and hot tongue.

"Damn, you look so sexy like this. If only I knew about this, we should've done this earlier," he chuckled as he swirled his fingers on your tongue.

"Do you taste good? I bet you do." He smiled before pulling his hand away from you and dipping his head on the lower region of your body. Gripping your thighs to keep them open, licking a long stripe on your dripping pussy.

Your body arched as a guttural moan escaped from your mouth. "Damn, you do taste good, should've done this to you before."

If he has long fingers, no doubt that he has a long tongue too. That he could even tongue-fuck you and would possibly make you cum again if only he stayed longer.

Soobin pulled out a pack of condoms that had been sitting in his wallet for a long time now. "What if we hit it raw instead?" His voice was joking, yet you agreed.

Soobin was packing. Girthy --- Veiny. Thick. Long.

"B-bin too b-big!" You whined. He made you straddle him, claiming he'd reach deeper inside you in this position. Not to mention the pack of condoms discarded and long forgotten on the floor.

"Baby, you can take me. I know you can. You’re doing so good. Doing so fucking good, my pretty girl." His fingers traced the prominent bulge on your tummy. "See? I'm deep inside you. In here. Look. You're such a good girl," he coos, poking and pushing at the bulge.

His lips captured yours once again. Kissing you fervently yet carefully. "You're so tiny," he giggled as he leaned back, pulling your lower lip again with his thumb. He wasn't expecting you suck his finger into your mouth.

"Dirty," he remarks, and he felt you clench around his cock.

"Fuck, you want that? You want to be called dirty? To be called a slut?” He felt you clench around his cock again.

"Angel, didn't know you're this kinky?" he chuckled. "Aside from being choked, you quite love getting degraded, hm?"

"B-bin, 's too m-much?" You whined, wanting to hide on his neck, but he insists on watching your face contort as he rearranges your guts.

"Poor baby," he coos, red cock ramming your overstimulated cunt even harder. Your wanton moans got louder and high pitched. His thrusts got sloppy and erratic.

"Fuck, won't last long, mmphh!" His head thrown back as he grips your waist, pushing your body down on his cock, slamming through your cervix.

"M-me neither, please, n-need more," you whimpered.

One of his hands flew up to your neck, restraining your lungs to acquire enough oxygen, making your mind a little hazy and your pulse throb for a bit while he shoots his cum inside you.

"Shit!" he hisses, convulsing, as he leans his forehead on your shoulder, loosening his grip on your neck. The corner of his lips curled up when he heard you panting, gasping for air, your body twitching above him as you came undone for the second time. Your boyfriend developed many kinks, after all.

He slowly pulled away, a glob of cum flowing out from your spent hole. "Let's get you cleaned up," he whispers, along with the soft kisses being planted on your temple. You shook your head and pulled the blanket over your bodies instead, hugging him tight, neglecting the sticky feeling.

Soobin then decided to rest and clean up later. He doesn't want you to be sulky and mad anyway, so he just hugged you closer to him, gently massaging your sore body.

Smiling to himself with his eyes closed after realizing something. That when he chokes you, he now knows you love it. When he shoves his fingers on your mouth, he now knows you're reeling at the feeling. When he restrains both of your wrists with just a single hand, given how huge his hand is. He might be your big, clingy baby at times, but he's a total daddy in bed. He likes to show power and dominance towards you—his pretty little angel.

@binniesbooks 2024

[hearthwrm]

𝒜 Collection of My Favorite Vocals From Yeosang

As a firm Yeosang bias, I decided to share my favorite collection of moments where Yeosang's vocals shine. I was going to share this for his birthday, but I think I would rather take a dive into the fashion they dress him in. So, I will—with hope—be working on that in the future. Truthfully, it is a shame that KQ Entertainment gives him so few lines. I won't wonder or speculate as to why that is, as I find it can be quite the intense topic for some fans. I will say that I am anxiously awaiting his birthday, so we may get more glimpses of his vocals. Hopefully, anyhow .. ♡

BLOOMING DAY

I urge anyone to watch the video (provided here) in full, as his stage presence is the aspect that enamored me the most with this performance. Not only his, but of the group as a whole. If someone told me they were an official group, I would believe them. I find that Yeosang plays soft roles in a manner that comes across as very genuine and bright (also seen in the "I Like You" performance here). One aspect I don't see people acknowledge about Yeosang is just how easily he seems to click with others when performing. In this case, Xiaojun and Hyeongseop. While, yes, that may mean he takes a back seat mostly when groups are bigger than three, he harmonizes with others in a seamless way. Which makes it to me obvious as to why a lot of companies would want him. He comes across as reliable. Professional.

Personal Favorite Section: 2:14 – 2:20 min.

INTO THE NEW WORLD

I will preface by saying that Jongho was the one that distributed the lines in this performance. Is it selfish to say I would wish he could be in charge of such a thing? Perhaps it is because of his very… vigorous vocal training in his youth, but his ear for others' vocals is delightful. Not only that, but the way he made every member shine is so heart-touching. Yeosang had a small dance intermission, and all three shared the center with their own sections of solos. I am thankful to the ATINYs who captured this moment and uploaded it for us to watch (please spare them a view, here and here). I used the former for this audio clip, it would be my hope for everyone to give the original posters some love. Unrelated, but do Jongho, Yeosang, and Wooyoung have a name? I was searching for one to place in the artist category, but found none. So, I placed ATEEZ even when the eight members aren't physically there. As I feel it still fits.

Personal Favorite Section: 1:08 – 1:43 min.

ONLY THEN¹

According to a commenter on the video on YouTube, Yeosang had this to say about this specific cover:

“This is when later~

Of course, it's much later. Just long after when I, someday in the future, have to part ways with ATINYs. [through the song I want to say] That right now, instead of worrying about it and having those thoughts, it's something that we'll see to at that time. In the present, I like you, and you like me, too. So, let's live happily!”

Is this true? I don't know. I would think most of this information—if true—would either have been said in a VLIVE, fromm chat, Universe, or another Korean-based app that I cannot get my non-Korean (cough, broke) hands upon. Then, if said information was shared, it was probably done so on Twitter which... I don't have. If anyone has any basis to this, I would be more than happy to add a source! Still, I think it's a nice thought. Even if it did not come from his mouth. It also fits into the narrative if you take into consideration the song that follow this one. Which is a cover of "Don't Forget About Me" by Chris James.

Personal Favorite Section: 2:50 – 3:36 min.

TO MY YOUTH²

Have I cried to this cover? Yes, and I am not ashamed to say so. This is just my interpretation of Yeosang (that is his persona, not his person), but I always felt he had this sort of bright melancholy to him. By this I mean there's this bittersweetness of youth that clings to his aura. It reminds me of lemon tarts. Which, as you may have guessed, is why this post is all sort of shades and tints of yellow. Brushing past that, however, I think that this cover shows a subtle stroke of his range. He can do deep ranges—portray the drums of a revolution in HALAZIA or a bone-deep thrill as seen in Dune—but it's hard to portray authentic tenderness. I listened to the original by BOL4 (Bolbbalgan4), and her voice brims with authenticity. The thing, however, is that with the original, there's this crescendo at the end. Akin to screaming on top of a coastal cliff. With Yeosang, there is none of that. It remains contained in oneself. It reminds me of squeezing a fruit too hard. Cathartic for a second, but once you look down at your hands, you realize everything is still a mess.

Personal Favorite Section: 2:55 – 3:17 min.

With this, we conclude this very long post. Hopefully, to those that have made it this far, you have enjoyed this small journey. This took me… much longer than I thought it would .. (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

I tried to make most of them .mp3 files so, hopefully, everyone can listen to them!

FOOTNOTES:

¹ This song is part of an unlisted playlist (which can be found here). Why is it unlisted? I believe KQ Entertainment did so because the QR code in Yeosang's birthday photobook redirected to this playlist.

² To note is that this is a special clip that can be found on YouTube, yet it also is the first song in the array of covers he did for his "The Middle of June" photobook previously mentioned.

[arthenaa]

a daffodil's camellia— ominis x gn!reader

summary: you think your purpose has always been to love him.

warnings: angst/no comfort, arranged marriage, indirect exclusion, HEARTACHE, unrequited love, reader is kinda a pushover but its bc of generational trauma guys !!! imelda is a great friend, the imelda bias here is unreal so sorry im just projecting, ableism behavior guys bc these mfs are too privileged, i am fr trying to break ur heart ig. NOT PROOFREAD im lazy.

note: HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!! i slept on this mb,,,,, the angst ominis fic that i talked abt last time but didn't upload until now .... oc cameo from @localravenclaw and @esolean !! (Ren and Lydia) hope u guys enjoy this! anys have fun reading

All your life, you think that this was what you’ve been born to do.

It’s engraved in years of tradition and history, a role you had to partake in the moment you came out of the womb. It was predetermined that your fate would end up in this situation.

Purity was an important factor for the historical families of the Wizarding world. Those who had come down from powerful bloodlines consider the tradition of keeping the family pure a sacred tradition of their power and authority over society.

A pedestal created from years and years of bloodshed to hone the perfection of wizardry and magic today. You suppose it was only an act of gratitude to be part of a long-lasting dynasty that preserved the sacred power of your ancestors. You know it’s an honor to be tasked with this role—to be given the duty of creating more branches for future generations.

You should know because this was what you were born to do.

Born and raised to be a bridge for other Pureblood families to lengthen their authority and claim over their self-built thrones. They say it’s a privilege—to be part of a family descended from the Great Four or just have connections with them through their ancestors’ relationships.

To be pure is to be great.

To be pure is to live a life filled with luxuries.

Opportunities are immediately given with just a snap of their fingers. Their authority precedes those whose blood is stained with the lesser. You’d think living a life of a pureblood would just entail all roses and gold.

Y/N would beg to differ.

“Keep your head bowed and hands on your lap,” Your mother’s voice is ever so cold. The carriage rustles with each bump against rocky terrain. You suppose it's about time you've gotten used to her tone but the booming surprise of her voice has a way of sinking its claws deep within your small heart. As a child, obedience was the foremost value you learned to be of importance. You knew that if you flick your head slightly off angle to your usual disposition due to an interest in your surroundings or the people around you, you would only get the receiving end of your mother’s wand. You knew that you'll be locked down in that dreaded abyss if your bow stuttered due to a misplacement of your foot in front of other pureblood families.

At a young age, you knew enough to not make a mistake.

Born third to the Rosier family's eldest son, you knew that your duty was to form connections—Marry off into other pureblood families and create the next generation of talented pureblood wizards. Wizards have the natural right to take what’s theirs because of their authority over society. A vision that threatens those beneath them.

So you keep your head bowed and palms tucked nicely on your lap with one palm over the other. Your mother is a cold and moving force beside you as you tried to match her pace despite your small little legs. At the age of 7, you are brought by your mother for marriage negotiations.

“Your husband will be an esteemed member of the Gaunts,” You remember your father declaring over tea. He sits menacingly in the front of the table, the glow of the flames behind him making his figure all the more unreachable. You know to only nod and not question any further. He makes a point by knocking on the wooden surface of the long dinner table that seems to stretch farther with each day. You wonder if the spaces beside you will ever be filled. You turn to him at the beckoning of your attention. “You listen carefully to your future husband, child. I cannot afford another failure.”

His words engrave deeply within your poor meek heart. You know that if you deny it, you’ll suffer the same fate that of your older sister—the one who tried to get a glimpse of the love and normalcy she desperately wanted yet ended with a tragedy.

You remembered that day in such vivid detail—the cold looks of your parents as they looked down at the state of their eldest daughter, who bawls and claws at any sort of reaction from the still and lifeless figure of her former lover.

So just like the obedient perfect child that you are, you nod and bow—subservient to the influences of those who claim to be wiser than you. You can only do so much to control your faith so alas, you let go and let the others hold the reigns.

That is until you meet him.

You were faintly aware of what he looked like. A boy with eyes as bright as the clouds, hair so smooth—so blonde that it gleams perfectly in the sunlight, and moles that litter his face, mimicking the night sky. These were murmurs of him from the servants in the halls of your manor. They say his beauty is compared to that of Rowena Ravenclaw and his demeanor spoke true as a descendant of Salazar Slytherin. However, there were also whispers of his only flaw.

“They say the young lord does not see.”

You wondered before how true the nature of the gossip of the young lord was when you took your first step inside the Gaunt estate, but now, as you stand before him who seems detached from the world with his eyes as dull as the morning sky on a rainy day, you suddenly make a conclusive remark about him.

He was truly a sight to behold.

“This is the young Lord, Ominis Gaunt," His mother declares proudly from her place, chest puffed and earrings dangling from the heaviness of the jewels that clung tightly to their placements. His father stands idly and lets his wife do all the matching. Your mother only smiles, placing a firm hand on your back—reminding you of your duty.

You bow with the elegance that of a noble—A move you’ve honed to perfection from years and years of teaching and practice. You rise back up with the same pace, eyes peering up at him from your lashes. He only seems to daze off into the distance.

“This is Lady Y/N Rosier. We’ll serve you well.”

The silence is unbearable.

You think that maybe after the taxing interaction with the grown-ups and being able to interact alone with the young lord would allow you to finally discover his true personality.

That, however, continues to be a difficulty.

"Do you like fencing, my lord?" You ask, trying to break the ice as you sit across from him in one of the receiving rooms of the Gaunt's huge manor. "Or perhaps history?"

"Stop asking." He replies curtly, stance devoid of interest. You continue to dig deep into that shell of his, hoping that your incessant need to make conversation would crumble the defensive walls he put up.

"I hear you're quite skilled in astronomy, my lord—"

"Don't call me that."

"What do I call you then?" You perk up, cheeks gleaming with a smile. The furrowing of his eyebrows only digs deeper.

"It appears that I am an avid fan of silence. I suggest not speaking at all," For a 7-year-old, his voice is cold and authoritative. You suppose it's because of his closeness to the Great Four that he is granted with such ability to freely talk however he wants. Your eyes glimmer in awe.

"I just want to get to know my future husband," You retort, trying to make sense of your fiance. You pout like a child, feet swinging back and forth—allowing yourself a moment of reprieve from the stiffness of tradition. "Mother says it's customary for us to be familiar with one another at a young age to establish proper connec—"

His hands slam hard at the wooden surface of the table in front of you. You flinch, a bit surprised by his sudden show of strength. You admit that maybe you've gone a bit too far with the questioning, but it was all for a good purpose anyway! You two are to be one in due time. So, what was so wrong about getting to know him?

You wonder if you'll ever be like him someday. To carry himself in such a stance that he doesn't need to nod or bow to anyone. He tilts his head in the direction of your voice, face contorted into a glare.

"I'll be on my way," He murmurs, voice calm, and yet his disposition evokes anger and frustration. You watch him with bated breath as he walks towards the double doors, the servants bowing and opening it for him with ease.

You know that this should be the final nail in the coffin. To detest the boy you'll soon marry as he turns into a man whose values and inhibitions clung onto him like a wolf who won't release it's jaws onto prey. You know and yet your fingers crumple the fabric of your skirt, eyes looking forward to your next meeting.

The next time you meet him is over tea. It was the turn of the Gaunts to visit your manor as dictated by the tradition of courting within noble houses. You've practiced this scenario over and over. Countless of times alone, with your governess, and with your mother. It's engraved within the depths of your mind as the wounds of the past sting with each sip of your drink.

Act like a noble. Drink like a high-born. Be a pureblood.

The thoughts ring harshly with each thump of your beating heart. Your fingers twitch, and your form stiffens—all for the sake of tradition. The words branding the forefront of your mind as you feel the intensity of your mother's gaze.

I have to do good. I need to do good.

"Your estate is a wonderful place, Lady Rosier," The Gaunt Matriarch addresses your mother with an esteemed elegance—to which your mother only responds with a courteous smile, a part of her façade.

Your mother never liked purebloods but she respected tradition. She smiles and bows in front of her peers but mocks and beseeches them in the comfort of her room.

You don't understand your mother but as a young child, validation from her was the only thing you ever wanted.

And so you try.

"It's all due to our ancestors' hard work in keeping the Rosier history alive through the manor's architecture," You respond, lips contorted into a gentle smile. The Gaunts seem impressed by your interest in the conversation and from the corner of your eye, you see your mother shift in her seat.

"I see," Lord Gaunt eyes you with a glint of interest in his eye, and he shifts his attention to your parents. "Lord and Lady Rosier, you've raised a daughter worthy of her blood. I applaud you."

Your mother smiles and for the first time, you feel your heart thump at the recognition of doing good. She then responds, "As they should be. It is their role to be worthy and I'm sure she'll be a wonderful spouse to the young master."

Your attention then shifts to the quiet blonde sitting idly in his seat. His face is stone cold, eyes dull, and fists clenching the material of his seat so hard it turns white.

Anger was the first emotion you've seen on Ominis's face.

You wonder if you'll get to see more.

"Aren't you excited?"

You squeal, influenced by the utter joy of finally attending school. It's your first year.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where most wizarding families are built and made from. Many of your relatives built their name from their experiences as a student in Hogwarts—after all it was in your blood to be ambitious. To dream of the impossible and achieve it by any means. That's why your family house dons the colors of green and silver—a direct allegiance to the house of Slytherin, that of which many of your blood relatives reside during their time as a student.

While being excited about Hogwarts was already a given factor as a child of magic, there's also one thing you're most excited about.

"Stop bouncing about, Y/N," Ominis grumbled as he heaved his bag over his shoulder. "We still have to find our damn car."

Your relationship with Ominis did progress in some ways. He's less grouchy now and tolerates your personality enough to let you stay by his side. You've gotten used to its indifference but you think that it's good progress with how he talks more with you albeit still with glares and a cold demeanor.

He pays you no mind as he traverses through the narrow pathway of the train with the guide of his wand. You follow closely behind, hands carrying your suitcase as Ominis guides you to your assigned car.

"I can't help it, I'm literally bursting with energy," You whine as Ominis finally reaches your destination, slides the door open, and places his things inside. He plops down to the farthest corner and leans back to rest. You immediately claim the seat next to him to which he grumbles.

"There's plenty of seats for you to take," He scowls, gesturing to the empty seats in front of you both. You only giggle as you snuggle up next to him.

"Oh don't be such a stone-faced troll, Ominis!" You whine, slapping his arm. He tenses with anger at the gesture. "It's natural for me as your fiancée to be as close to you as possible."

"Stop calling yourself that," His eyebrows furrow in annoyance, jaw clenching in anger. You roll your eyes, not minding his hostility.

"But I am though?"

"I swear to Merlin's name and everything he holds dear, if you don't—"

The slide of the door halts your conversation as your eyes and his head flick toward the sudden disturbance. Two brunettes pop in, one seemingly looking like a direct copy of the other. They blink, eyebrows raised as they stare at the two of you.

"116?" The boy asks with an awkward smile. "Are we interrupting something?"

You pull yourself slowly from Ominis's space at the prospect of new friendships. You smile. "No worries, just a lovers' quarrel. I assume you're the ones we'll share the car with?"

"There is no lovers' quarrel." Ominis firmly states. The two purse their lips in slight hesitance. "Please, do join us though. Merlin knows I need it."

The two then make their way to sit in the remaining two empty seats, placing their luggage in the compartment under. You smile as they settle down in their seats, bright smiles plastered on their faces.

"Right," The boy starts. "Uh, I'm Sebastian Sallow and this is my sister, Anne. It's nice to meet you both."

You nod excitedly at the introduction, delighted to make friends at the present opportunity.

"I'm Y/N Rosier," You respond. You then gesture to the blonde next to you. "And this is Ominis Gaunt, my fian—"

"Friend." Ominis cuts through, overpowering your voice. You turn to him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. "They mean friend."

The twins glanced at the two of you, puzzled by the shifting of the balance in your dynamics. Anne breaks the silence.

"Well, we'll be spending quite a long while here, I hope to make your acquaintance," The Sallow girl beams. Sebastian nods at his sister's words while Ominis responds with a hum of agreement.

There's not much to say when the group falls into silence once more. The four of you were strangers after all, still not used to the presence of someone new but the feeling is welcomed.

Your eyes glance at Ominis who seems to have been resting his eyes, leaning his head against the wall—waiting for the train to begin its course. The corner of your lips curl up at his iridescent beauty.

The train sounds its whistle beginning your journey.

"Are you dumb?"

Imelda blatantly states as she stares at you with disinterest in her eyes. She takes a bite of her apple. "Or just purely ignorant of what's actually happening?"

On your 3rd year at Hogwarts, you somehow get grounded to reality through the presence of Imelda Reyes.

You suppose it's all in due time that you'd be awakened from the trauma-inducing nightmare of tradition and sacred rules of your family. The need to fulfill your role. To give Ominis a home he needs, a family he wants, and a lover he deserves. You suppose that your role overshadowed your judgment of his character and behavior.

You had gotten used to it. To his blatant ignorance of your efforts, the glares, sarcastic comments, seething scoffs, or the fact that sometimes, he doesn't see you at all.

He's always like this, you think. You were never bothered by his indifference. You believed that you could love him enough for the both of you.

You were stupidly wrong about that too.

Sebastian and Anne are terrific company. After being acquainted in your first year, your little group had been formed then and there. The two of them stayed for the past 2 years and you were truly grateful for them. However, the twins were mostly close to Ominis. You didn't mind the gaps between you and the siblings seeing as you prioritized your relationship with Ominis more than anything.

You never really considered it to be a bad thing.

That is until Imelda begins to scratch at the surface of your finely built walls.

You purse your lips, minding your own business as you continue to sew a new stitch into the stretched fabric. You were unfortunate enough to share the dorm room with Imelda and while you enjoyed the rambunctious' Slytherin Quidditch Captain's companionship, this was certainly not something you'd rather talk with her. Everything was fine and there was no need to nitpick at every detail.

Your needle pokes through the hole, goes in, then out—thread sliding swiftly in the path you've carved out for it.

"I'm not sure what you mean, Imelda," You try to deflect her inquisitive nature. She rolls her eyes.

"It's just–" She pauses to readjust her position, leaning forward to rest her arms on her knees—she eyes you with keen interest. "I'm truly amazed how you've gone 3 years with him."

You glance up at her with furrowed eyebrows. "Stop speaking ill of Ominis."

Imelda lets out a loud laugh at your response. "And you even dare to defend him? Are you sure you're not dumb?"

You forcefully drop your sewing tools on your lap as you heave a sigh at her words. You turn to face her fully. "What do you want?"

"Why stay?" She responds, direct. She takes another bite of the apple.

There's a momentary pause of silence as the question rings in your mind. You had half a mind to just drop the conversation and leave but some part of you somehow wanted to defend yourself.

"He's just Ominis. He's always been like that," You respond, chest puffed in self-proclaimed confidence. "We grew up together. We're promised for each other. That's all I need—"

A sudden burst of laughter from Imelda catches you off guard. You flinch in surprise as you watch the brunette Slytherin double down in laughter. Somehow, the clawing feeling inside you becomes more prominent with each giggle and huff from the woman's lips. Your nail begins to scratch at the skin of your thumb.

"H-Holy shit," Imelda sighs in laughter, brushing off a stray tear. She giggles a few more times before finally settling down with a smile. "You're worse than I thought."

She tilts her head with a condescending look on her face.

"Have you ever seen him with the twins? Alone?" She asks. That sets off wave after wave of uncomfortable thumping within your chest. You let out a shaky breath. "I suppose you don't because you're always so focused on your dearest fiance—Actually, y'know! If you just tried to properly look at him. Maybe, just maybe, you'd finally get a grasp of yourself."

Your jaw clenches and palms sweat.

"Stop it." You try to get a hold of yourself. To take control of the situation and get a grip on your thoughts that seem to get more and more chaotic as time passes. However, despite your tries, Imelda overpowers you once more.

"Y/N," She leans forward to rest her arms on the wooden surface of the table. "Maybe, you don't know much about him at all."

Your eyes are locked on hers at the prompt of her words. You can't bring yourself to deny despite the flurry of emotions bursting within you. She tilts her head and gives you a sympathetic look.

You walked out with no response.

On your 5th year, the presence of a new student shook the halls of Hogwarts.

It was uncommon, of course, that a wizard would get admitted at such a late year and while the idea of a new 5th year would turn a few heads in curiosity, this was not the only source of attention.

Over the course of the first few days back to school, you hear talks of the new 5th year's incredible feats of surviving against a dragon attack. There were exaggerations, of course, and different variants of the story with how widespread the gossip had reached, but it all reached the same conclusion at the end.

This new girl had already made her mark as a formidable wizard.

You admired her at first, wanting to know how she did it and what brought on such circumstances. However, there was a slight uncomfortable nagging deep within the depths of your heart at your first meeting. While you felt regretful of such impression despite her kind deportment, you still felt uneasy at the arrival of her presence.

It was probably partly because of Anne's leave of absence since the start of your 5th year. Sebastian was quite privy to the details concerning Anne's sudden absence. You knew she was sick, but other than that, you were quite left in the dark. You convinced yourself that maybe Sebastian feels conflicted when talking about it, and his sudden avoidance of you bringing up the topic proves a testament to that. However, you've seen him and Ominis on the train when you came back after getting refreshments. You've seen Ominis give him a comforting hug—an affection you've barely received from him if there was any at all. You've seen Sebastian tap Ominis to stop talking whenever you enter the room.

People tend to have that misconception that you're awfully unaware of your surroundings due to you being characterized as a 'pushover.' You knew that your bond with Ominis or Sebastian was way different than what they had for each other. You knew it and chose not to dwell too much on the semantics. You'd rather focus on Ominis. On being the person he deserves.

This was solidified when Sebastian began including her in your lunch hangouts.

You were unfortunate enough to be separated from Sebastian and Ominis for your Potions lecture. You had to scour across the castle just to get with them for lunch. They were usually at the same place—lounging around in the Defense against the Dark Arts Tower or the Undercroft.

This time, however, you were finding it quite hard to spot the two.

"Look," Lydia Parkinson, a Ravenclaw from your year, twirls the cup of drink in her hand as she lazily looks up at you due to the lulling atmosphere of the afternoon. "Maybe you could just have lunch with us. Just saying."

Seated beside Lydia is Ren Aries, your potions seatmate (also a Ravenclaw). She has rumored romantic ties with Sebastian, which brought you to their spot in the Great Hall in the first place. Who else would know Ominis's best friend better than you?

Your eyes turn to Ren, who merely rests her chin on her palm propped up by her elbow on the table. "Don't look at me."

"You're basically dating!" You whine, hands grabbing on your books tighter. "Of course, you know where he is."

"No, we're not." Ren answers swiftly.

"Wrong." Lydia raises a breadstick and accusingly points it at Ren.

"Is she talking to you? I don't think so." Ren swats her hand away, causing the breadstick to fly across the table and into a group of first years. The three of you immediately turn your heads, not willing to face the confused glances on their faces.

Just as the first years begin to mind their own business, Lydia begins to lean in with pursed lips. "Well, I might've heard that the two left the Great Hall with the new fifth—"

Suddenly a loud slap intercepts her words. You flinch back at the sudden movement, watching as Lydia rubs her arm as she crumples over the table. Ren sends a glare toward Lydia before turning to you with a half-lidded stare.

"Don't mind her. She's delirious after drinking the pumpkin juice." Ren intercepts easily, not minding her best friend wincing beside her. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

"I heard what she said?'

"No you didn't."

"I mean ..." You trailed off, eyes glancing between the two. "I just heard her say the new fifth year."

There's an uncomfortable silence as the two gaze at you with an unreadable stare. Somehow, this gaze seems quite familiar. You've seen it from Imelda, from Anne during your short moments together, and now these two. A budding stem of annoyance begins to grow in your skin.

"Why are you looking at me like that? They're probably just hanging out." You shrug it off like you've always had. It is no use fretting over such simple matters.

"Sure they are—" Lydia chuckles before Ren sends a nudge to her ribs. The redhead merely groans and grabs at the edge of the table. You look at her in concern.

"As I said, delirious." Ren lightly curls the corners of her lips to give you a polite smile. There's a pause of silence before Ren sighs—eyes gazing with an unreadable expression on her face. Your fingers twitch at its familiarity.

"They're in the Undercroft, Y/N." She says, nodding slightly. There's a slight hesitance to her tone of response as if telling you where they were wasn't something she was supposed to be doing. "Sebastian dropped by our table to tell me that, just in case I wanted to join."

Sebastian referred to Ren. Just in case she wanted to join. You wanted to ask if Ominis at least told her to tell you, but you're too much of a coward to do that.

You couldn't will yourself to look at her eyes, afraid that you might finally recognize the emotion that lingers in the depths of her mind. You suppose the inquisitive and empathetic nature of Ravenclaw runs deep within Ren's blood.

You nod as a thanks and left without a word.

You hear laughter first. Your footsteps halt at the archway of the Undercroft—breath faltering as your eyes find the familiar tufts of blonde you've grown to love over the years.

Normally, you would've already bounced over to him, reveling in his attention no matter how negative or neutral it might appear. You would've teased him and wormed your way into his arms.

However, things were quite different from where you were standing.

You hadn't had the opportunity to meet the new 5th year. You only relied on hushed whispers and murmurs across the halls of Hogwarts just to get a glimpse of what she was actually like. You take slow steps towards the source of laughter, eyes trained on their figures—smiles, and gleeful expressions plastered on their faces.

You're caught off guard by the unfamiliar presence of the new fifth year—hair as dark as midnight with a touch of silver strands that decorate the front of her hair like the stars that litter the sky. She's as pretty as they say, as radiant as they whispered about, and evokes the aura of a true born wizard.

However, the true reason for her shock lies in the fact that Ominis—the man she'd known to be stoic, unmoving, and unphased, was laughing. Ominis was laughing.

"Oh, Y/N." It's Sebastian who notices you first. You flinched at the greeting, watching as the other two paused—the new fifth year turning towards you with wide curious eyes, and Ominis subtly turned his head away from you. Your breath hitches at his actions. Sebastian awkwardly glances between the two of you. "I think this is the first time you actually met Nora. Nora, this is Y/N Rosier. Y/N, this is Nora Finley."

Nora waves at you with a smile. "Hi Y/N. Hope you don't mind me intruding."

"None at all." You reply eyes glancing at Ominis who continues to have his back towards you. You decide to continue the conversation. "I was looking for you guys. I thought we were going to have lunch."

"Oh," Sebastian scratches the back of his head, hesitantly glancing at Ominis who continuously remains silent and indifferent. "We already had lunch. Sorry."

You slowly nod in an understanding, a stiff smile plastered on your face.

"That was because you were too hungry to wait," Nora intercepts with joking shove. "Apologies, Y/N. I didn't know they were waiting for someone else."

Your finger twitches slightly at her words. "It's fine."

"I was waiting for Ren! Ominis was just being an asshole." Sebastian defends himself which earns a slap on the arm from Nora. Then, you suddenly hear Ominis speak up.

"Not my fault you were actually coward enough to not go to her yourself," Ominis says. This earns a laugh from Nora who bumps her shoulders against Ominis. "I had to pull you over." The three laugh at the situation at hand, faces plastered with glee and comfort.

So Ominis was there, with Ren and the others. Yet no one thought of telling you where they were. An anxious heavy feeling settles over your chest.

Suddenly, you feel out of place. Your ears ring, zoning out, as their motion becomes more distorted in your eyes. You feel as though you shouldn't be here—that you're the one intruding instead. The ache overwhelms you.

Your feet shuffle a few steps back. "I-I'll get going." You say, voice weak as you announce your departure. Sebastian gives you a moment's glance before nodding. Nora gives you a big wave (you feel bad, she's too much of an angel). However another reason piles onto your aching heart—mind in a daze as it beats fast with anxiety.

Ominis had not once acknowledge your presence.

You leave with your dignity intact.

Seeing Nora is now a regular occurrence.

You didn't mind it at first. You liked the girl. She was a social butterfly, easy to talk to, and her presence brought comfort whenever she was around. You couldn't argue the comfortable nature of Sebastian and Ominis around her. While you were also a generally talkative and social person, it still varied among your peers. Your personality often ventures between the lines of introvert and extrovert—only becoming active to a certain amount of people, and silent to the rest.

However, despite your positive impression on Nora, there was also the case between her and Ominis. You've seen them hanging about in various points of the castle. Even going out together when they leave classes. You haven't had much alone time to spend with Ominis as he somehow begins to become more non-approachable and cold as days pass by. Somehow, he becomes more indifferent than before.

Back then, Ominis indulges in your whims despite his initial opposition. You suppose it's probably to get you to stop, but he had always listened—one way or another. Now, he merely leaves without a word—cutting you off mid-talk and bouncing off to Nora who had just entered the room.

Your heart begins to waver and your breath speeds up. You couldn't deny the hurt that flows through you with each indifferent response of your fiance. Your fiance. He was yours as much as you were his.

So why does it feel like you're the one intruding?

"What do you think we should get Anne, Omi?" You smile, siding up to Ominis whose hands run through the braille engraved on his book. "Do you think we should get her some scented candles?"

"Anne has a sensitive nose." Ominis furrows his eyebrows before slightly tilting his head towards you. "Didn't you know that?"

"I did!" You respond with a defensive tone. Of course, you did. Anne was your friend. "I was going to buy her those simple scented candles. Just to help her with the stress."

Ominis scoffs at your words before going back to reading his book. Just as you inquire a little more about his day, you hear Nora and Sebastian chattering as they reach your spot. You were about to greet them when you felt Ominis nudge your hold away from his arm. You flinch at its intensity as he rises from his seat to walk towards the two—specifically in Nora's direction.

Your heart thumps loudly against your chest, knocking against your ribs like an ache you can't explain. You sit silently, eyes watching as they chatter amongst themselves. The looming realization begins to crawl under your skin, chipping at you—limb from limb. Your breath falters.

"Y/N!" Nora greets like the angel that she is. You smile back, albeit forced and hesitant but welcomed her warmth with open arms. She slides up to you, before calling over the two. They follow with ease. You feel Nora's arm intertwine with yours, thumbing the cloth of your robe.

Just as the two have finally settled down, Nora begins the conversation. "I'm glad you don't have DADA with these two. It's always a chaos."

You nod, still quite perplexed by the whole situation. "Really?"

"Please, Nora." Sebastian teases, arms propped on the table. "Just say you're mad that I beat you at a duel."

"Throwing a ragged cloth to my face before casting a Levioso isn't a win that you think it is." Ominis intercepts with a disappointed shake of his head.

"Blah, blah. Looks like a skill issue to me." Sebastian leans back, arms crossed over his chest. He rolls his eyes playfully. "Life isn't fair on the battlefield, Finley."

Nora turns to you with a scrunched nose. "Are you really friends with these guys?"

You find yourself pausing at her question. Thankfully, she laughs afterward, pulling tease after teasing towards Sallow. The question begins to etch into your brain as your mind conjured every possible interaction you had with Sebastian. Was he even your friend? You remember the silence and the awkward tensions whenever Ominis had to go to the bathroom or get called up by Professor Weasley. Even before then, when Anne was present in your little group of 4, the twins were always stuck to the hip, if not with Ominis. Never the three of you alone together.

Never with you.

You suppose Imelda was right. Blinded by the idea and concept of love through duty, you unintentionally neglected the possible ties that you could've had with the twins. You felt helpless.

"Oh, yeah. Before I forget, what are we getting Anne this weekend?"

Your head turn towards Nora in surprise. "You're coming?"

There's a momentary pause at your question. You wouldn't have minded it before, but now you feel the stares clawing at your skin.

"Of course, she is." Ominis replies with a tone of disbelief. "Don't be ridiculous."

"She hasn't met Anne, though? I don't think—"

"Don't speak for my sister, Y/N." Sebastian cuts through the tension with an offhanded response. You turn towards him in surprise. Nora shifts uncomfortably beside you. "We already planned this. Let's just go with it."

"You didn't tell me anything?" You're not sure as to why your voice suddenly begins to rise. Your hands clench under the table.

"My bad?" Sebastian shakes his head in confusion, as if he's the one incovenienced. "Listen up, next time then? Instead of you know—ogling Ominis, all the time?"

"Sebastian!" Nora calls out, perplexed at the sudden hostility. The brown-haired Slytherin merely turns his head away. A dreadful feeling submerges over your body as you glance at Ominis who sports an indifferent look in his face. There's a paused silence before Sebastian stands from his seat.

"Where are you going?" Nora asks, worried.

"Out. I'm floo-ing to Hogsmeade for the gift. Catch up if you guys want to." Sebastian mumbles in response. He leaves abruptly, robe trailing behind him.

Just as you were about to turn to Ominis, he stands up. "Omi?"

"You should've known better." Ominis mutters. Your breath hitches at his words. He follows through with Sebastian. Your hand clenches into a fist.

"Y/N," Nora grasps at your arm with slight comfort. You couldn't be mad at her even if you wanted to. "Are you okay?"

Your head is lowered, hair framing your face as you try to gather your emotions. You then turn towards her with a smile you've practiced from your childhood days.

"I'm fine."

The silence was unbearable.

You're not sure when was the last time you and Ominis were seated together in a room, alone—much less the receiving room of your manor. You can feel the nervousness clawing up your throat. Your mother had persisted on the two of you visiting the manor during your winter break. You wanted to accept the invitation at first, seeing as this was an opportunity to spend time with Ominis.

But seeing the disdain on his face as soon as you told him the news, somehow regret only fills your body. You had no choice either way.

"Is Hogwarts treating you well?" Your mother sips her tea with the elegance fitting for her role as the matriarch of the house. You shift in your seat, uneasy from her attention.

"Well enough," Ominis answers from your side. His face lacks the enthusiasm of talking to your family.

Your mother furrows her eyebrows at the response but doesn't say anything regardless. "I do hope you're both preparing for your engagement once you graduate in 2 years. Merlin knows how much both of our families have prepared for it."

You nod submissively, unable to resist the pointed stare your mother gives you. Ominis stands abruptly at her words, not opting to pardon himself as he walks out of the room. There's paused silence before your mother scoffs.

"Insolent child," She seethes, taking a sip out of her cup. "If it weren't for his family name and heritage, we would've found you a more suitable heir to marry. Merlin knows his family's treating him like a dispensable asset, when his brother's already married and up to take the role as head of the house."

You sit silently, eyes focused on the untouched cup of tea. Your mother's voice booms through the room, causing you to flinch at its sudden intensity.

"Go after him, Y/N. Beg on your knees if you have to. Keep him tied to the leash before he goes off pawing at others." Your mother orders. "Your sister's a testament to that. Do I make myself clear?"

Your mother's word was law. Everyone in the house knew that. Even your father, who is recognized as the head of the house. She easily controls those around her to do her bidding, and those who resist are met with dire consequences. You'd rather be by her side than against her blade.

"Yes, mother."

You found him by the courtyard.

Your family dog, an Alpine Mastiff that was gifted for your father by a collector of muggle creature, pants against his lap—enjoying the gentle caresses that Ominis runs through his fur. He sits against the huge tree in the middle, the leaves giving his face a gentle shade from the light. You make careful steps before standing in front of him.

"Feeling lethargic, Omi?" You smile. The dog, Xavier, looks up at you with its sleepy eyes before yawning against Ominis's touch.

"I told you to stop calling me that." He replies, eyes devoid of emotion. He merely runs back and forth Xavier's fur as if its stimulation calms his nerves.

"You never allow me to call you anything." You retort, voice calm as you look down at him with a forlorn expression. He doesn't need to know that.

Ominis shakes his head, a sarcastic smile on his lips. "That's because we're not friends."

You purse your lips before responding. "If you say stuff like that, I'll get hurt, Omi."

Ominis chuckles. "You've bound me to your chains, made me a spectacle with your jokes, and you're worried about getting hurt over the truth?"

You stared at him as he continues to pet the massive dog on his lap. You've gone through this routine before, and you'll go through it again. Why get hurt now?

There's a miniscule pause of silence before you let out a laugh at his words. "So touchy with everything, Omi. You really hate me that much?"

It's a joke. Don't take it to heart.

"Yes," He answers with no hesitation, face devoid of any emotion. He finally looks up and its as if those beautiful cloudy blue eyes could stare through you. "Yes, I do."

It's not true.

You've observed Ominis enough to know what he's thinking.

As much as others regarded him as an intimidating figure, he quite wears his heart on his sleeve. You know when he's angry, when he's joking, being sarcastic, sad, or whatever version of Ominis you're facing for the day. You didn't spend 8 years of your life loving him just for you to not recognize every detail on his face.

You've known him well enough to recognize patterns on his behavior, subtle differences to his emotions, and his current mood of the day. If anything, you're well versed in Ominis's body language, that you've grown well accustomed to how you act around him based on it.

That's why besides you're being hit with two realities, instead of one.

You've watched them from across the hall, chatting up a storm as the three of them were huddled in the corner. You've long since opted to observing them rather than being in the group itself, and ever since then, you've begin noticing things you weren't supposed to.

"What's got you looking so focused there?" Imelda's voice reaches your senses as a figure settles beside you. You give her a glance before looking back at the trio. She hums, following your line of sight. "Looking at your asshole of a lover boy again?"

"Don't I ever?" You sarcastically remark, laughing slightly. Imelda looks at you with a slight raise of her eyebrow.

"Wow," She nods. "That's improvement. You don't make sarcastic remarks when I point out your obsession with white boy over there."

You glance at her, heaving a breath as you contemplated letting Imelda know of your thoughts as of late. You suppose that she's the only person who has been real with you since the start. Everything's been a blur since your visit with Ominis to your manor. You've been trying your hardest to appear normal but things had just gone way off. You've started to distance yourself as well, only responding when asked or talked to—which most of the case is Nora's doing. Though, with Sebastian's constant needs for adventure and Nora's inquisitive nature, she had also lost the attention towards your interaction with the group.

With Ominis, you knew well enough that wherever Nora and Sebastian went, he went to as well. You've seen the three of them flee the Great Hall, not minding your lack of presence to the group. 4 years as a group of friends and 8 years with Ominis, and they haven't had a single thought about you that passed through their minds.

You suppose you should've gotten used to their exclusion to your presence. You're partly aware that this is due to the engagement between you and Ominis, how much he despises the centuries-old tradition of marrying those of the same stature as he is. How much he detests the forced nature of your relationship. You wished you had the power to null it, to start over, and meet him under different circumstances. To dream of a reality where he actually finds love in you, and wishes for a future with you in it.

But alas, life is hard for someone like you. To hold so much authority within your fingertips but be shackled by tradition and generational trauma. You've long accepted your demise.

"Ominis likes Nora." The words slips out of your mouth with ease. Like what you just said was something out of the news. Imelda chokes at what she hears. You look at her with concern.

"E-excuse me?"

"Ominis likes Nora." You repeat calmly. Imelda sweatdrops, moving to stand in front of you as she analyzed your facial expression.

"You're saying that like it's the weather—are you okay?" She asks, worried.

You shrug, eyes looking down at your twiddling thumbs. "It's inevitable. Everyone knows about it, no?"

Imelda pauses, face cringing as she places her hands on her hips. You chuckle at the silent admission. "I'm always a bit too late."

"Look, Y/N," She sighs, taking a step forward as she places a hand on your arm. "Ominis was doomed to be your fiance from the start. He's an asshole and just overall rude! You've got nothing much to lose anyway!"

Your tongue darts out to lick your bottom lip before pulling between your teeth. "I do. That's not how it works, Imelda."

You glance up at her, finally meeting her concerned eyes. She lets out a breath at your forlorn expression.

"I always knew Ominis didn't like what we had. I've spent most of my childhood years with him to not know the familiarity of his disdain." You reply. You recall the times you've received cold and indifferent actions from him. "He's made himself clear. I was always the one who wanted more."

"Y/N," Imelda sighs.

"I don't think Ominis ever considered me to be someone dear to him," You whispered. "I had always been something he easily cast aside. A nuisance—I've seen the way he whispers to Sebastian whenever I've said something they considered out of line. I was never something he deemed important."

Imelda is silent. You heave a sigh.

"He's happy now." You mutter. "Nora's everything I'm not, and even if I wanted to hate her, despise her—she's so pure and likeable that it's so unfair. Why is it so unfair?"

You feel tears well in your eyes. Imelda's breath hitches at the sight. She looks around, trying to see if anyone was watching. She then hears the familiar voices of the three. Soon enough she sees them walking over to pass by their area. Imelda did what she could only think of.

She pulls her off her robe before throwing it over your head, shielding you from their stares. She pulls you in her arms as the three near towards you. You couldn't see a thing but you could hear them.

"... Imelda?" Sebastian's voice comes out as confused, probably because of her hooded figure. "What's up?"

"Hey!" Imelda smiles, hands making gentle pats to your back. "Friend's not feeling well. Hope you don't mind."

There's pause of silence before Ominis responds. You feel your heart speed up. "Ah, hope they'll feel better."

"They hear that quite well!" Imelda responds with enthusiasm. You slump against her hold, feeling lethargic from thinking.

"Alright, we'll get going." Sebastian waves before the two follow them off. Just as the three of them began to make their way down the hall, you hear Nora suddenly backtrack.

"Ah, by the way, if you do see Y/N around, tell her that Professor Weasley's asking for her?" Nora says. Your body freezes and its as if Imelda had felt it as she had pulled you closer.

"S-sure." Imelda responds. The three of them began to go on their way, chatting and laughing as they disappear down the hall.

Imelda finally pulls her robe off you, eyes filled with concern. "Y/N ..."

"They knew I wasn't around," You mumble, breath trembling, and eyes devoid of emotion. "They knew. He knew."

Imelda raises a hand to fix your hair before smiling. "There's nothing much I can say that will be of help, but I do hope that you'll take care of yourself—Of what you'll do from here on out."

You pause at her words before nodding silently.

The realization settles in and its heartbreaking and grueling. However, despite that, things haven't been much clearer than before. You'll set things right. For him. For yourself.

Because love is your greatest weakness, no? Your greatest threat. Love for him, and love for your family.

Whichever will prevail?

A/N: before yall ask, yes this will have a part 2 ... i just really wanted to finish this and it went beyond what ive planned. stay tuned mwehe!!! this will not have a happy ending btw. the title daffodil's camellia is in reference to their meaning in love. daffodil can mean new beginnings but it can also mean unrequited love, camellia means romantic love or devotion. just wanted to let yall know that!

[chasholidays]

we're back baybee

Hello friends! After a few years' hiatus, I'm going to once again take prompts for holiday fills. If you're new here, here's how it works.

You and some number of other people fill out THIS GOOGLE FORM

I receive all the responses and close the form on OCTOBER 4 2024 AT 8 AM EASTERN TIME

I use a variety of methods (personal bias, random number generator, chicken innards, etc) to pick from the submitted prompts and get a selection that I feel confident I can complete

On December 1, I will start posting! The fills we be posted by @chasholidays on tumblr and also uploaded to AO3

My planned posting schedule is that I will post TWO fics each weekend day (eighteen fics total) and ONE fic per weekday (twenty-two fics total) for a total of FORTY FICS over the month of December. Depending on how I'm feeling and how many prompts I get, I might decide to do more! But I'm going to commit to 40 minimum and go from there.

For many reasons, I'm not planning to tell people in advance if their fics have been selected or not. So in December, you will either see your fic posted or not, and it will be a surprise! If your prompt isn't selected, I hope another prompt will be something you're excited about

Because I am a human person with feelings, I will give some number of slots to my friends/mutuals without putting them through the RNG. Just FYI

The other thing I want to address is that this year, for the first time in a while, I'm letting fandoms be a free-for-all in terms of prompting! I'm going to have some specific information for my three biggest fandoms from my poll (The 100, 9-1-1, Tortall), but there's also going to be a free response form where you can shoot your shot on basically anything you want. Unlike the big three fandoms, I won't try to make promises about getting a representative sample from the other fandoms, and I'm also going to be more willing to just knock out prompts that don't catch my interest. I think of the other fandom option as high risk/high reward; I might bounce off the prompt completely, but if it tickles my fancy, you'll go directly into the fill pool without having to brave the RNG.

Okay god this is already so long but this is the LAST THING. As is tradition, I'm also offering alternate POV fics and continuations, which I used to call timestamps but that terminology has fallen out of favor and no one knew what I meant so I'm retiring it. Basically, this is an alternate perspective of or a sequel/prequel/some kind of continuation to a fic or series I've already written. You can pick from anything I have on AO3. These will be have their own forms, so if you want one of these, you won't pick a fandom, just provide a link to the story in question and provide some additional info.

Oh and this is one entry per person. If you submit multiple I'll take the first and delete the others, and if you submit too many I'll delete the first one too tbh.

tl;dr: here's the google form again

submit your prompt by 10/4/2024; send asks to @ponyregrets if you have them

[flameof]

So... exactly two weeks ago today, curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to go down a certain 'rabbit hole', just to see if I could understand what the fuss was about.

That rabbit hole is My Little Pony, and all it took was five episodes for me to really, finally, truly GET it.

It's just so warm and comforting, and while you can tell it's a show set for a certain demographic, it's written so well that, really, anyone can enjoy it. It's kinda like Bluey in that regard.

I mean, just look at these goobers;

They're just so... adorable.

And while I knew to expect him...

Freaking 'Weird Al' Yankovic! He just... I don't have words to express how much I love this man.

Suffice to say, though, I'm in love with this series. Any and all unconscious bias I might have previously had has successfully been thrown out the window.

Also, while I've run out of picture upload space in this post, I'll finish this off by saying that Derpy is a treat, for how little she's shown up in three and a half seasons and one movie.

This experience has just been... wow.

[luneengene2]

The Ice Rink That Brings Love

~ Warnings : Make-out, the reader's age is two years younger than Jaehyun, grammar errors, cringe (💀), Tell me if I missed any other warnings

~ Synopsis : Your older brother, Sungho, invited you to join his group for the first time while they were filming content for their variety show on the ice rink. You are excited because you can meet your brother's friends for the first time, even on the ice rink which you could call your second home, because you are a figure skater. Apart from that, you can also meet your bias, Myung Jaehyun. Jaehyun is your favorite member among the six members of Boynextdoor. When he first met the members, Jaehyun's gaze was very different compared to the other members. He, who was initially hyperactive, turns calm when you are around him. What really happened?

A/N : This oneshot has been in my draft for almost a week, but I haven't dared to upload it yet 🥲

|| idol!myungjae x figure skating!fem!reader ||

You get out of the taxi in front of an ice rink center. You smiled happily then went in while holding your bag tightly. When you arrive at the entrance, someone wearing a thick mask immediately pulls you into the ice rink area.

"Oppa, you surprised me!" You stroked your chest when your brother, Sungho, grabbed you suddenly like someone who wanted to kidnap you. Sungho immediately took off his mask and chuckled. "I don't want to start stupid rumors if I don't hurry up." He said with his horse smile.

You sighed and looked towards the ice rink. Your heart beats fast when you see five boys having fun there. Your brother's group mates. Boynextdoor. They joked with amusement on the slippery ice field even though some of them fell easily because they were not used to it.

Sungho chuckled when he saw you just silent when looking at his five friends. Of course Sungho knows you are part of the Boynextdoor fans. "OY GUYS!" Sungho waved his hand at his five friends. The five handsome boys immediately looked at Sungho when he called them. Sungho coded them to get out of the skating rink and come closer to him. Your heart beats even more erratically when the five boys start to get closer to your brother.

And when they actually took off their skates, they immediately approached Sungho and you. You can clearly see their handsome faces, especially your bias. Jaehyun. You immediately squeezed Sungho's palm and started sweating coldly. Sungho chuckled again when he saw you starting to get embarrassed.

"Guys, this is my sister, she is the one I often talk about in some of our chats," Sungho introduced you proudly to them.

"Oh so you're Sungho-hyung's sister?!" Leehan blinked when he saw you. He was quite surprised to see you, because you were really the female version of Sungho, but very beautiful. "Woah, you look like Sungho-hyung, but a female version, and look more perfect," Leehan's words were immediately rewarded with a light blow from Sungho. "So you're saying I'm disfigured?" Sungho glared at Leehan, while the one he glared at just gave an innocent smile.

You blushed when Leehan praised you with the word 'perfect'. Oh, being praised by your idol? A dream that fan girls out there dream of.

"Y/N, this is my friend, this one is—"

"No need to introduce them, I already know about them," You cut off your brother's words with your faint smile.

"I heard a lot of things from your brother, I heard you're a figure skater," This time it was Taesan who spoke. You nodded slowly "Yes, I've been in that field since I was six years old," Your answer made the four boys there exclaim 'woah' because your talent started so young.

Some of them started asking you questions about how your career is going. You start to relax around them because they seem to really accept your presence.

Without you realizing it, one of them who is usually very extroverted when meeting new people, actually falls silent and pays close attention to you. He was the only one who didn't speak at all when Sungho introduced you to them. Your bias. Myung Jaehyun. Since your first presence in front of Boynextdoor, Jaehyun didn't speak at all and instead watched you with deep, warm eyes (?).

Sungho noticed Jaehyun's gaze and his behavior was immediately different when you were around them. "Jaehyun, my sister likes you, you are her bias," Sungho's sudden words made everyone there immediately look at him and a few seconds later looked at Jaehyun. Jaehyun, who heard this, tried to stop himself from blushing and feeling embarrassed. Meanwhile, you? You actually immediately blushed because of your brother's sudden words. You also wanted to kick Sungho because he 'couldn't keep his mouth shut' about this.

"UUUUU!" Woonhak immediately pushed Jaehyun gently, who was just silent, holding back the heat on his cheeks. "Jaehyun-hyung, you got a very beautiful fan girl," Woonhak chuckled with satisfaction then punched Jaehyun's arm lightly. Jaehyun, who knew you were immediately awkward again, immediately changed the atmosphere.

"That's right? That means you are also part of onedoor, I'm glad to hear that," Jaehyun smiled faintly, and it really made you want to scream as loud as possible if you were alone. "Bro, he's been part of onedoor since our debut. And he really likes you, especially with your status as the leader of our group. My sister really has a huge crush on you," You stepped on Sungho's foot as he said that, which made him groan in pain. In that instant, Jaehyun's face immediately turned red when he tried to hold it in.

"Thank you very much for liking me, I'm glad to hear that," Jaehyun repeated some of his words again because he was really embarrassed. This feeling was completely different if he met his other girl fans. When he met his other female fans, Jaehyun looked normal and not tense. But when he saw you, he became tense and awkward. His hyperactive behavior suddenly disappeared.

"Our filming here was delayed about two hours, y/n. How about you show us your skating skills and then teach us," Sungho immediately broke the silence and was greeted enthusiastically by Woonhak who seemed to want to be friends with you.

"You don't mind, y/n?" Sungho glanced at you who was secretly stealing glances at Jaehyun who looked like he wanted to disappear from there. You immediately looked at your brother and nodded in agreement.

"OK, I'll ask you to play a song, you put on your skates first," Sungho patted your head gently then went to meet the KOZ staff. Woonhak immediately took you to the shoe changing room. You brought your white skates that Sungho bought you for your birthday.

After you finished putting on your skates, you walked casually into the ice rink and didn't look stiff of course. Sungho returned to the ice rink and in less than a minute, a song started playing. The strains of the song 'I wanna dance with somebody' sung by Whitney Houston.

You quickly responded to the rhythm of the song, starting to demonstrate beautiful movements. Your body really feels like it is being magicked by the music because it can follow the strains perfectly and precisely.

Your brother's friends are amazed that you can demonstrate such beautiful movements without practice. Sungho smiled proudly because he could show off that his sister was very talented.

"Sungho-hyung, why doesn't y/n just become an idol like senior Sunghoon? I feel she has good potential to become an idol," Taesan asked Sungho, Sungho just smiled and shook his head. "Believe me, I've said the same thing to her. I even encouraged her to audition at KOZ, Source Music or ADOR when they opened registration. But she still refused. She said she just wanted to focus on being a figure skating athlete, according to her being an idol had tremendous pressure," Of course, Sungho's words were immediately agreed with by the other five members there. Not everyone is strong enough to become an idol. Apart from talent, They must be mentally strong to face anything that could hit them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The music slowly decreases, and you bow to the audience as a form of thanks and respect for watching you. Your brother and his friends immediately shouted excitedly when you finished your performance perfectly.

KOZ staff also give you applause because you also provide entertainment for them in between work. You smiled shyly at the commotion around you.

Sungho entered the ice rink first, followed by five other members to approach you. "You always give your best," Sungho smiled and gave your cheek a kiss. He never hesitates to kiss your cheek or forehead in public. Shows great affection for you.

"The movement you made earlier was very beautiful, you were born to be an ice princess like Sungho said," Jaehyun's praise immediately made your cheeks turn red again. "T-Thank you, Jehyun-ssi," You said nervously which made Sungho hold back his laughter because you really couldn't control yourself in front of your own bias.

Jaehyun, who was still stiff, was starting to control his facial expression, he actually smiled faintly when you really blushed at being praised by him. "So cute!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You teach your brother's friends casually. They all really got along with you well, even Riwoo felt like he had a little sister who he could play with.

Every now and then you and Woonhak laugh together, whether it's because he's being mischievous or you're actually responding to his mischief. Sungho immediately understood, you and Woonhak immediately became good friends.

When several of your brother's friends were busy with their own activities, you saw Jaehyun who was still struggling and stiff on ice. You pursed your lips softly because you were hesitant to help him. Until you finally got the courage to approach Jaehyun.

"Jaehyun-ssi, may I help you?" Jaehyun looked up when he saw you in front of him. Jaehyun was silent for a few seconds before he finally nodded. Carefully (?), you held Jaehyun's hands tightly, facing each other of course. "First, don't make your body stiff. If your body is stiff, it will be useless for your body's balance," You gave tips to Jaehyun. Jaehyun immediately obeyed you and made his body not stiff.

"Glide slowly," You gently grabbed Jaehyun and slid backwards so Jaehyun could slide forward. Jaehyun followed your directions very well, he followed every word you said to him.

However, because Jaehyun suddenly accelerated, he ended up crashing into your body. You screamed as you wanted to fall, but Jaehyun with a quick response immediately pulled your body against his. As a result, you really seem to hug him tightly.

Jaehyun could feel the scent of your hair which smelled of strawberries and vanilla. Jaehyun's right hand wrapped tightly around your waist. While your right hand hugs his shoulder tightly.

Hearing your scream, Sungho immediately looked at you and slid over there. "y/n?! Are you okay?" Sungho immediately pulled you gently away from Jaehyun. You shook your head slowly. "I'm okay, just almost fell," You smiled slightly at Sungho to not make him worry.

"Y/n sorry. I didn't do that on purpose," Jaehyun immediately felt bad because he almost made you fall. You shook your head again. "It's okay, Jaehyun-ssi. You're not wrong. It's normal if you almost fall too, all this is normal in studying," You stroked Jaehyun's arm slowly, to calm him down who felt bad after almost causing you harm.

"No need to feel guilty, you didn't break my bones. Maybe if I break a bone, Sungho-oppa will kick your head a little," Your words were immediately greeted with laughter from Sungho and Jaehyun. Jaehyun smiled slightly seeing your sweet smile after saying that. It was like he saw the girl of his dreams. Wait! The girl of his dreams?!

~Two months Later~

"When is Sungho coming home?" Jaehyun came back from Sungho's kitchen after he put away some of the snacks he had just bought earlier. Today, five Boynextdoor members held a sleepover at Sungho's house. Both of Sungho's parents were in Busan on business, so Sungho invited his members to stay overnight.

"Sungho is picking up his sister from the figure skating competition, maybe he'll be there soon. Because Sungho called me earlier, he was already on the road with his sister," Riwoo said but his gaze was focused on the television which was showing the FIFA game. He was playing a game together with Woonhak.

Jaehyun just nodded then his eyes wandered around again. His eyes focused on a photo of a petite girl in one of the large portraits. The girl was approximately seven years old at that time. Jaehyun immediately recognized who the girl was. Yourself. You were still seven years old at that time.

"She has been very beautiful since childhood," Jaehyun smiled faintly then stroked the photo. Admiring how beautiful you were when you were little.

"Whoever becomes y/n's lover is a lucky person," Jaehyun muttered softly with hope in his heart. Huh? Hope, eh?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You got out of the car with a tired face and still sobbing. Sungho was still calming you who still felt low after your match earlier. Your match is going badly which ends up making you immediately stressed.

Sungho held your bag and then put his arm around your shoulder to enter the house. He also stroked your hair, feeling like he couldn't bear to see you feeling weak like this.

Ceklek!

When the door to your house opened, you immediately saw five boys busy on their cellphones while snacking. Boynextdoor Member.

"Oh, you're home!" Woonhak immediately greeted you and Sungho with a smile. However, when he saw you still sobbing, Woonhak's facial expression immediately changed. "Y/n-noona. Are you okay? Why are you crying?" Woonhak asked worriedly. Woonhak's question immediately made the other four members approach you.

Jaehyun immediately looked the most worried when he saw you crying. He immediately stood in front of you. "Y/n, what's wrong with you? Has something bad happened to you guys?" Jaehyun looked at you and Sungho in turn. But there was no answer at all.

"Sungho answer it, don't make us worry," Sungho sighed. "Y/n, go to your room and rest okay? Auntie, help her to her room," Sungho asked for help from his family maid who he called 'aunt' earlier. The maid nodded then took you to your room to help you clean and rest.

When you really 'disappeared', Sungho started to tell you what really happened. "My sister lost the match today," Sungho said wearily then sat on the sofa while massaging his temples. Dizzy.

"Isn't it normal to lose and win? However, why did Y/n immediately become stressed like that?" Taesan asked in surprise, Sungho sighed. "That's not the problem, because she lost, the coach ended up giving her insults and harsh words. Because the coach felt it was a waste to train Y/N," Sungho's answer succeeded in making his five friends there gape. And a second later, Jaehyun seemed to be furious. "Is that coach crazy? Why can coaches be so cruel?!" Jaehyun said sharply.

"My family chose the wrong coach for my sister, I will really complain about her actions to my parents," Of course Sungho doesn't want you to get bad treatment. When you should train gently, but your trainer is not a human, but a devil. Of course Sungho doesn't want you to be taught by the devil.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At 1 am, Jaehyun went downstairs to get water. However, he saw you sitting alone on the living room sofa. Jaehyun saw your shoulders shaking, a sign that you were crying.

Without hesitation, Jaehyun immediately approached you. He gently touched your shoulder, making you look at him. "J-Jaehyun-ssi," You hurriedly wiped your tears, but Jaehyun stopped your hand, holding it. Then he sat next to you. "I found out what happened to you from Sungho. If crying keeps making you feel better, keep crying until you are satisfied. Let your emotions out, don't bottle them up." Jaehyun's words immediately made you sob again loudly. You cried again and for the first time you cried in front of a 'stranger' man, not your father and brother.

And without any further hesitation, Jaehyun immediately pulled you gently into his arms. Making you cry into his chest. Jaehyun stroked your hair lovingly. Say some calming things so you don't feel worse. You looked up to meet Jaehyun's eyes, resulting in Jaehyun also looking into your eyes. You two stared at each other for a long time, until something you didn't expect hit you.

Jaehyun pressed his lips to yours, giving you a soft kiss you had never felt before. You were immediately shocked when Jaehyun dared to do that to you. You were frozen so you couldn't return his kiss.

Jaehyun, realizing his madness, immediately pulled himself away from you. "Y-y-y/n I'm sorry! I'm not coming in, y/n! Forgive me," Jaehyun was overwhelmed and had difficulty speaking, seeing Jaehyun like that, you were actually pushed to the brink of madness.

Instead, you immediately pulled Jaehyun's face closer and immediately devoured his lips. Jaehyun was shocked when you actually pulled him to kiss you again. Your kiss to him was really like mixed emotions, but the dominant one was frustration and despair. You whined softly as if asking Jaehyun to kiss you back. Jaehyun instead lifted you onto his lap, making you straddle his thigh. He kissed you back passionately. The heat began to spread to each of your bodies.

Jaehyun's hand stroked your thigh which was covered by satin trousers. He inserted his tongue into your mouth, making your tongue collide with his. Your slender fingers entered Jaehyun's pajamas, stroking his fairly muscular chest area.

"Jaehyun-ssi, I love you, really love you," You said huskily between your kisses. Jaehyun of course heard that, he pulled your kiss. Slowly open the top three buttons of your pajamas then lower them slightly. He applied suction to your neck and shoulders, leaving red marks. Hickey. Jaehyun's actions made you groan softly and throw yourself against him.

Satisfied with giving you a hickey, Jaehyun panted. His gaze on your shoulder and neck showed signs of satisfaction. He smiled slightly, his hand reaching out to rub your stomach.

"You are mine," Jaehyun's words immediately made you glare, then look at him. "I love you too y/n. I mean it," He continued while stroking your long hair.

When you heard that, you immediately kissed Jaehyun again. Feel happy that Jaehyun is indeed the right man for you. However...

"MYUNG JAEHYUN!" The sound of Sungho's scream immediately made you and Jaehyun break the kiss. You and Jaehyun looked towards the source of the scream. You saw Sungho standing at the bottom of the stairs with eyes bulging. He watched you and Jaehyun kiss after Jaehyun confessed his love for you.

"I'm dead!"—Myung Jaehyun

[mint-and-authoress]

Slime HRT - Progress Report I

<<| ⏯️ |>>

“...”

[The video shows a bedroom with a computer setup in the background and an empty chair in the foreground.]

“...gods how do I even start…”

[o-s]“Just talk, love. You’ll be fine.”

“...but I meant like… no, you’re right.”

[A young woman appears from stage left, wearing a green flannel hood atop a t-shirt and leggings. She has brown hair and glasses, standing around 5’8/172cm. She sits in the chair.]

“Hello. My name is Elise, and I’ve decided to make a video documenting my transition. I’ve recently thought about some life choices and more about my identity, and I’ve chosen to undergo human removal therapy. Basically I wanna take all m’ flesh and bones and turn it all into slime. Thanks to experimental drugs and the fact that the FDA is not responsible, I’ve been given an opportunity.”

[Elise holds up one generic prescription bottle containing capsules; two vials for injections, one opaque and slightly coloured green, the other clear and watery; and one tube of ointment that has been emptied.]

“This is the motherload, right here. Everything I’m taking to do this. This bottle is my… ‘my-o-chi-tin-ase’... yeah. This is the main ingredient, turns all your insides to mush and turns that mush into slime. The pills are homolipostat, it’s basically spiro but for human removal. Stops your human parts from regenerating. The other vial and the empty tube are things to help the transition. This is vasopressin, helps with water retention, which I’ll need a ton, since I’m basically becoming 50% more water by mass. And this tube once contained something like 30 grams of salicylic acid, all to break down m’ skin. The myo is 1mL once weekly, the -(pfft)- the homo is 100mg once daily, the vasopressin is 0.01mL once daily, and the ointment is one tube weekly.”

[She sets the medicines down.]

“So…day one of Slime HRT. All that is to say, nothing yet. Though I have heard this human removal therapy business is supposed to work pretty fast compared to hormone replacement therapy. So, hopefully I get some good results out of it.”

“Still haven’t told anybody except my darling wife so…yeah that’s gonna be fun when it happens.”

“Oh, and yeah, this is what I look like right now. It’s decent as far as a human body is concerned, so just to make it obvious to the TERF-y crowd, I am happy I went through this process. Even though the slime is gonna replace all of…this.”

[Elise vaguely gestures to herself.]

“I’m gonna end up uploading this all in one big compilation-esque video at a good stopping point so this is all ya get for now!”

[The woman reaches for the camera and the first segment ends. The next segment opens in a different room, messier and more decorated. In the top right corner a timestamp of ‘14 Days’ is shown.]

“Two weeks later! Still not used to talking to cameras, I’ve had absolutely zero practice since the last time you saw me.”

[Elise brings her right hand and wrist up to the camera.]

“So in terms of changes, I haven’t really noticed much. Pandora - that’s m’ wife, if ya didn’t know - she thinks my skin’s gotten clearer. I think to her-”

[Elise momentarily looks away pointedly, likely towards her wife]

“-it’s just a confirmation bias thing. Not to mention I just cannot imagine. Nope. Nothing. Never been able to. It’s called aphantasia, and if you’ve ever seen that image where it’s the five heads all imagining an apple, I’m the one that can’t see anything. But that’s not really relevant to the slime stuff.”

[The camera switches to the outer camera of a smartphone, pointed down at the back of Elise’s left hand]

“So… just so you can see… even turning my hand over just to show… nothin.”

[The segment ends. The next segment opens with a headshot and the timestamp reads ‘1 Month.’ Elise looks excited, despite having obvious bags under her eyes. Her skin appears more lustrous and is slightly translucent. She is wearing short sleeves.]

“One month! Gods one month! It’s like, impossible to explain how excited that makes me. Anyway, big news! Look!”

[Elise holds her arm up to the camera, the skin looking notably transparent.]

“That’s the first sign! Well, the first visible sign. The actual first sign was like a couple days ago. Turns out the first thing to change is something to do with sweat, probably because slimes don’t want any help in terms of drying out. It got a sweeter smell, weirdly enough. If for some reason you’re using this as a guide, take the extra time in your day to keep your skin clean. Sweat equals bacteria, so while your skin is kinda retiring from the idea of keeping all that outside of your body, do yourself a favour and take preventative measures.” 

“...and I guess this’ll be a kinda vlog thing, too. Transition’s not all about the meds and stuff, y’know?”

“I told my boss about it. Honestly, it went pretty decently, all things considered. Most importantly: not fired, which was what I was most scared about. We talked about it for like, an hour while she was in the store for something else. She’s a very human human, so I don’t think she really got the deeper meanings of it.”

“Still haven’t told my friends or my family. My friends are…also human. It took them a while to actually take my transition seriously, and even then it was because I had to tell them to. As far as my family goes…yeah, nah. I’m moving out at some point soon so either way they’re not gonna have to deal with all this for long.”

“I have connected with people more like myself, though! These drugs are experimental so it’s not like everybody can just go for it yet, so that list of new friends is kinda small. There’s a couple little support groups but everyone kinda talks to everyone and wow there’s some nice creatures I know now. So, Mayday, Sandy, Xion, if y’all are watching, hey! I am aware of you!”

“I think that’s everything? Again, not much, but it is still only a month into all this. If something happens, I’ll keep you all posted.”

[The segment ends. The next segment appears to be an Overwatch lobby, where in the top left corner a webcam is set up, showing Elise wearing headphones. The timestamp reads ‘7 Weeks.’The audio from the game is intentionally muted.]

[o-s, distant]“Hey, El?”

“Yeah?”

“...”

[Elise removes her headphones.]

“One sec.”

[Elise walks away and opens the door, still in frame. The video zooms in to mostly show the webcam, though nothing of note happens in the gameplay.]

“What’s up?”

[o-s] “Nah I was just headed to the store and…”

“...and?”

[o-s] “...what the fuck? You feel okay?”

“Uh, yeah. I feel fine. Why?”

[o-s] “Look at your skin, you’re like breaking out or some shit!”

“No, dad, it’s fine. I’m fine, okay?”

[o-s] “No no, it’s not. You’re not! You got like, shiny skin and it’s…”

“...”

[o-s] “You’ve been taking shit behind my back, haven’t you?”

“What? What do you mean?”

[o-s] “Oh don’t you start that bullshit. Come on, El, you know that shit is delusional. You see it on TV, you see those people just throw everything away and kill themselves on that removal shit.”

“You don’t understand! You don’t struggle with identity issues! I want to be something that isn’t human, it literally should not change anything between us.”

[o-s] “Ah don’t give me that shit. This trans species stuff is all just a hoax. Government just wants an excuse to take gullible people and experiment on ‘em, they get away with it every time there’s some international shit to take the heat.”

“This isn’t from the government, though! It’s from Hyper City-”

[o-s] “Hyper- when the fuck did you leave the house that long? No, if your doctor didn’t give that out then hand it over.”

“Not happening. And we really don’t wanna talk about unprescribed meds, do we?”

[o-s] “You know that’s different, you… Whatever. You’re not gonna be around long enough to make it matter anyway. You don’t show any of this to your mother, got it?”

“...Fine.”

[The door shuts loudly. Elise returns to the setup as the scene fades to black.]

}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{

YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, PART THREE

finally made some progress thank you to sandy and weiss and the rest of them over at @sandyca5tle for dropping a bomb of inspiration on us earlier this morning

but yeah! finally actually getting the changes documented, as well as the developing lore (tm)

the trans experience on full display today ;-;

[norts-trolls]

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You must Credit me for the design

You may NOT edit my original work in any form or way.

You may change the design and species after you've bought the design, but must keep the design recognizable and Still leave me credit.

Gender and bloodcolor is ultimately up to the buyer.

You may not repost the original artwork to deviantart, instagram, or other social media/portfolio sites.

You can however store it in your deviantart sta.sh, post it to tumblr profiles, or upload it to websites like toyhou.se with proper credit. (Lil-Nort)

IF THE ADOPT IS POC DO NOT CHANGE THAT DETAIL

You may NOT resell, gifting is fine. Do inform me of who it has been gifted to so I may keep track for my ownership chart.

I can hold for 3 days max

Any future commissions of adopts brought from me will have discount.

DO NOT USE THE ADOPTS FOR GROSS STUFF ( hate messages, racism, N/FTS etc etc use common sense)

ADOPTS WILL NOT BE USED FOR COMMERCIAL USE. (you can however buy commercial use license)

ABSOLUTELY NO USE OF AI WITH ANY OF MY WORKS

Message me the word YEEHAW so I know you read the rules!

[icarusbetide]

suggestions for the amrev resource folder that nobody asked for?

i have the structure worked out and want to start adding resources in there: if anyone has any suggestions on edits to make beforehand, pls do so!

Shared Google folder with subfolders:

Events (Resources centered on "events"/"periods": aka Pre-War, Wartime Experience, Constitutional Convention, Federal Period, maybe even just "General")

Topics (Sexuality, Religion, Race, Fashion, etc.)

Figures (Hamilton, Burr, Jefferson, etc. with folders of their own separating their biographies, letters, primary sources, etc.)

Primary Sources (Inside: Newspapers, Letters, etc.)

Inspired (Section for media based on amrev period: thinking Hamilton, 1776, George Washington: Founding of a Nation, Turn. For instance, someone shared their Hamilton musical commentary book, so that'll be a resource under this folder)

NA (resources that don't fit and/or are about things that are too sparse for a specific category quite yet)

Along with this, I have made:

Masterlist: Google Sheet with every single resource in the folder. I'm working on making it sortable by tag (for larger category, specific topics, people, etc.)

Wishlist: A Google Sheet where you can add resources you've like to see but have no access to. Once they've been added to the folder, they'll be crossed off.

Submission Form: Anonymous Google form for anyone to submit resources. File upload or long answer section where you can give me contact info/link to your own folder are both options.

Help & Advice Form: If something doesn't make sense or you think there's a better way to do things, submit here.

RateTheResource: Google doc where you can write out your review/thoughts on a specific resource you are familiar with. I thought it might be helpful to provide context, especially for biographies, on bias level, etc.

[someaxelotl]

Sometimes I wish there were more transformers designs that were more animalistic/alien. I mean, how did Alien Robots millions of light years away evolved into bipedal walking machines with scoliosis….

Ofc, they’re designed to be marketable, so they NEED to look like da hoomans. Though, I don’t think the human body is the pinnacle evolutionary standard, universal to all intelligent species. Yeah I know transformers is not known its scientific accuracy and I know that most other sci-fi franchises also have the same symptoms…

it’s weird though, I’ve been lurking on Art fight and on tumblr for a while, looking at the tf oc tags and rarely do I come across ocs with weird alien designs that don’t have a human/bipedal-like protoform. With or without it, doesn’t make or break a design, I just want to see more of it.

Though I do need to acknowledge that my first 3 tf shows, Beast Wars, Rescue Bots and especially RID 2015 (yes I did watch it before I watched tfp) gave me a bunch of implicit bias towards designing tf characters with non-human like forms.

I don’t know if anyone else shares this sentiment…

I’m probably just a dumb outlier that got into transformers for the completely different reasons. Dunno how others got introduced to the transformers franchise.

Personally, 4 yrs ago, I had nothing better to do and haven’t discovered pirating. Turns out, most old tf shows were uploaded on YouTube for free. Guess who binged all of it?

Anyways, HOW DID I WRITE THIS MUCH… this was supposed to be about Otolith’s redesign.

Umm, I hope you liked the little design progression thingy. Kinda added it after my rant…

Designing Otolith was not an easy task, but I’m fine with this type of torture. (not really good at drawing ppl in general,) but hey maybe you can try your hand at a non-humanoid tf design if u want

Umm if anyone happens to see this post pls tell me how you got into transformers!