#PLEASE they just dumped the ummm actually he's awol

[a-wisebear]

haunted by the narrative? haunted by the fact that he rarely shows up in the narrative, he kicks ass, he's cool, he's pretty, he's capable, he could solve a 5 episode arc in 1, everybody loves him, he changes everything with his little appearances, and yet we don't know anything about his fate?????

[flameontheotherside]

What Does E Equal?

If someone living here around my age can't give me the answer in 10 seconds, they aren't worth having a conversation with.... And if someone has to be nosey and cut in with some side remark to undermine me, 😂🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼I'll tell them that obviously they aren't too bright either because they don't know A+B=C thier way out since the conversation didn't include a peanut gallery.

The older people are full of knowledge and experience because they done life. I like talking to them. 😁☝️ Not necessarily a smoker per se, it's not a thing I care about. It's more like drinking alcohol. It's cool but not something I NEED. Not to that extreme because I rather throw back shots and smoke an entire of the only "cigarettes" I always get if in the mood. I've never gone over 3 months smoking on and off. 😆 But I can go years. I'm lucky to not have any addictions. I could literally sell myself for shit but uhhhh… no thinks. Let's just say I'd rather be baker-acted.

😖 I've got Walking Backwards stuck in my head...

... And totally not related to, I was wondering if it's appropriate to show Computer Lab-guy my gaming shit. 😅 With stress my symptoms go full retard so it's kind of easy to say way too much. Lmao usually it's me to get excited about gamers. This time I was thrown off and kind of freaked out. 🙄 Since being here -- I guess being one of the few young and eligible females in her, I'm getting attention and it throws me off when people are nice to me. Usually I'm completely ignored and treated like shit.

It's just me and another girl.

I'm really happy we made up. Or actually I apologized for how I acted to her. She said I looked her over and, gave off an attitude when she said hello to me. Sometimes I'm completely not aware and in my own world. Happens a lot when I'm stressed. Guess I'm so used to trashy people I must have looked at her wrong without realizing. 😢 I still feel horrible for it and wish there was something I could do for her. Well we talk now and she's very smart. She comes from the same background and I can tell. Like me, no kids, criminal record, no prior homeless record or STDs. So we talk all the time when we want to vent about how this place drives us crazy. Because uhh.. I'm getting really fed up.

The other women are kind of "damaged goods". Not that I don't feel bad because I do. It's not really their fault but there are people like them who worked hard and made something of themselves. 😓 Here, people do and talk about drugs and it really makes me uncomfortable because my ex abused the same things people here do or did.

They say we are all in this together.

But it's not true. You have to be blind to not see how we are all different. Like I can't relate to most women here because of intelligence and they have kids. 😖 The guys are dogs and want just one thing on top of getting high. The few of us who come from middle class, somewhat sheltered and good upbringing talk together every now and then to talk about the "good ol days" before landing in this dump.

I shouldn't complain. 😓 Like I get it. It was easy to be grateful at first. Now four months in, I'm waking up to fighting, anxiety is worse, my "friends" are moving on, waiting to get approval for disability, my mom leaving to a shelter that was promised to me and taken at the last minute, and just overall feel like giving up.

In my head are these things that lead me here. My caseworker was supposed to be in today for our appointment. I guess being "on the spectrum" had me almost have a panic attack. All week I mentally prepared for this! 😖I was like, "Oh my God what do I do?! Are you fucking kidding me?!"... 😡 They are used to my freak outs. It's embarrassing. To me because I don't do this. I miss my home, my stuff and my cat. Thinking about them gives me a panic attack. People don't understand how much my cat means to me. They laugh when I say how much I want him back. People don't understand autism isn't one thing. It's a spectrum disorder meaning that there are LEVELS of it and not everyone is on the low end of it.

Luckily… or unluckily (new word)…

I'm just high-mild functioning. But under so much stress and chaotic conditions like this place, it feels like maybe on a scale of mild-low functioning. 🙃 I really hate ignorance and lack of understanding. Then again I'm surrounded by it so I look forward to seeing Computer Lab-guy on Tuesday. It's okay if he goes awol but my caseworker is who gets me out of here, so ☝️😔ummm… She's not allowed to skimp out on being my caseworker. I wish I could have a days notice but it's unrealistic. I got to be more understanding.

😘💕❤️ Happy Friday yall!

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(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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