#PLL post

[majikuriboh]

oh look Mike Ross is here to put Ezra in jail!

[carm3n-carm3n]

^ caption made by @dollykiller *

goodbye 2014, hello 2015

[dangeroustaintedflawed]

[glowettee]

you can be competitive and kind | spencer hastings

there’s this weird lie we were fed, somewhere between middle school group projects and scrolling through corporate girlboss pinterest quotes, that in order to win, we have to do it alone. that being ambitious means other girls become your competition. that helping someone else glow makes your own shine dimmer. that being “the best” only counts if you’re the only one.

and yeah, i’ll say it, i think that mindset is dead. and it should be. because spencer hastings exists, and she proves that you can want to be the smartest, the most put-together, the leader of the pack... and still care about your friends, still bring other girls up with you, still be deeply, radically kind in the way only the most driven girls know how to be.

this post is for the girls who feel like they have to prove something. for the ones who want to be valedictorian, ceo, future doctor, ivy-league-acceptance-letter-receiving icons... but don’t want to become cold, lonely, or disconnected in the process. this is about rethinking ambition as something collaborative, not cutthroat.

✧ the spencer hastings ambition formula

if we’re being honest, spencer is probably the most intense out of all the PLL girls. she’s academic. calculating. anxious. wildly high-functioning but sometimes for the wrong reasons. but underneath all of that, there’s a core of loyalty and genuine care for the people around her, especially the girls who remind her of herself: overachieving, overlooked, anxious, and full of pressure they can’t always explain.

what makes spencer’s ambition different is that she includes others in it. when she wins, she tries to bring people with her, even when she doesn’t know how. she pushes others, but not because she wants to destroy them... it’s because she believes in them. because deep down, she knows what it feels like to be the girl who’s always expected to win. and how isolating that can be.

you don’t have to dim to be kind. and you don’t have to shrink to be liked.

the truth is, it’s not that competitive girls are “mean.” it’s that we’ve been made to feel like our drive is a threat. and then we internalize that and either turn on other girls, or turn it inwards.

so what if we rewrote that? what if we used our ambition as a way to build connection, not distance?

here’s how. from my experience, and perspective.

✧ how to be ambitious and kind: a spencer-inspired manual

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☾ 1. stop apologizing for trying

this one is basic but it’s the root of so much. competitive girls are always told they’re “too much.” too intense. too smart. too focused. and what happens is we start to shrink around other people. we downplay our wins. we pretend we didn’t study when we did. we say things like “ugh i totally bombed that test” knowing we got a 97.

you don’t have to apologize for being prepared. and you don’t have to hide how hard you work. let people see how much you care. that’s not a weakness, it’s a leadership quality.

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☾ 2. normalize healthy competition

spencer isn’t competitive to make others feel bad, she just wants everyone to be at their best. and that’s something we should all want. there’s nothing wrong with a little “you raise the bar, i raise it back” energy between friends. the key is making sure it’s mutual, not toxic.

instead of thinking “i have to beat her,” think: “she’s incredible, and that pushes me to be better.” it’s not you vs. her. it’s both of you vs. your lesser selves.

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☾ 3. show up for other ambitious girls (even when you're lowkey jealous)

this is the real test. when another girl wins something you wanted, it stings. it hurts. it makes you spiral and question if you're falling behind or not enough. but the only way to actually heal from that is to show up anyway. say congrats. support her. post about her success.

not because you're fake, but because you get it. you know what it takes. and because you'd want someone to do the same for you.

there’s room. i promise you. if she gets into the school, it doesn’t mean you won’t. if she gets the internship, the grade, the award, it doesn’t delete your worth. it’s just proof it’s possible.

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☾ 4. find your girl-powered ambition team

you don’t need a million people in your circle. you just need a few ride-or-die girls who understand what it’s like to grind and dream and overthink every test score like it’s life or death. find them. and then build each other up.

make a shared notion or google doc. hype each other before exams. brainstorm essay ideas together. vent about the pressure without judgment. these are the girls who’ll end up in your dorm, your med school group chat, your future startup. so start now.

if you wanna make some girlbloggin' friends, join my tumblr community here: https://www.tumblr.com/join/E5N0qIqo

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☾ 5. prioritize purpose, not perfection

spencer’s drive came from trauma a lot of the time... trying to prove herself to her family, trying to be perfect because it felt like survival. if this is you, if you relate to that, you’re not alone. but the goal is to shift from performance to purpose.

don’t just work hard because you’re scared of being “behind.” work hard because you believe in your future. because you want something real. you deserve to be more than just a checklist of achievements.

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✧ tiny mindset shifts for girls who care too much

✧ her win isn’t your loss ✧ you can be the smartest girl in the room and the nicest ✧ success is sweeter when you don’t hoard it ✧ you don’t have to soften your ambition, just direct it with kindness ✧ you’re not “too much.” you’re just in rooms that are too small. ✧ you can be the reason other girls don’t give up ✧ trying hard is not embarrassing. it’s iconic.

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✧ mindy’s closing thoughts

this whole post? it’s my love letter to the girls who are trying their absolute hardest and still feel like they’re failing. the ones who are so used to competing, they forget it’s okay to lean on other girls sometimes. the ones who want to win but don’t want to lose their softness to do it.

i'm one of those girls, always living up to my parents dream success, of trying to compete with other straight-a students in my schools and trying to be the unrealistic version of myself.

spencer teaches us that being ambitious doesn’t mean being alone. that being competitive doesn’t mean being cold. and that being yourself, in all your anxious, driven, type-A glory, can still make you the most loyal, kind, and inspiring person in the room.

so go get your goals, but hold someone’s hand while you’re climbing. leave the ladder down. be the kind of girl who wins and still texts back.

because that’s the new girlboss era. and it’s already yours.

xoxo mindy, love you all <3

⋆ psst. i made a free workbook just for you. it’s soft, dark-academia, and full of real advice. get it here:

[xlcovo]

[bemytechnoboytoy]

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[angel-babydoll-blogx]

31/10/2024

[majikuriboh]

pretty little liars is interesting and i love a murder mystery also it's making me nostalgic to the 2010s T_T

[carm3n-carm3n]

[mooniehoneyrey]

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[prettylittlegirlblogger]

need that

[xlcovo]

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[kaekae444]

we as a society have so much to learn from her