#PUNCH REFLEX hee hee

[powpowchaos]

Sonic VS Blaze SONIC WIN ! X3 [ Sonic VS Shadow ]  

[twitchstoleyourbagel]

So I’m posting my fic here until my AO3 account gets approved :) this is my first fic, please enjoy!

EC - 8538

Gender - Female

Chapter 1

85 walked down the blinding white, lifeless halls of the Kaminoan cloning facility. Most if not all of the cadets who had passed her raised a brow or stared at her as they passed, and she didn’t blame them. A human female living in the same facility as a bunch of boys who had probably never seen a girl before would be an odd sight. 85 was an experimental clone, she had been told there was another experimental female but she never had the chance of meeting her.

There had been a few batches that the Kaminoans took creative liberty with but none survived. All but one anyways. Though she didn’t know if the squad had a name or not (she wasn’t told much) like most batches such as the Domino squad, or Hurricane squad, she did know that they had enhanced senses or something like that. One had good eyesight, the other was really big and apparently strong, one was smart and the other could feel things. She didn’t even know if those were the actual enhancements of the squad, she had only heard it from other cadets talking about them.

Finally she reached the training facility, apparently she was going to train with the Spirit squad today, hopefully she stays with this one. After so long of jumping around, training with different squads trying to see if she got along with any of them, this better be the last one. She quickly changed into her training gear and ran out to meet the clones. They turned to meet her and their eyes grew wide.

As expected. She internally sighed to herself.

“Hey guys, I’m EC - 8538, or you can just call me 85.” The girl with fluffy purple hair stuck her hand out for them to shake which instead they just stood there, glancing at one another. That was until one of the clones with longer, curly hair, stepped forward and shook it firmly.

“Pleasure to meet you, 85. I’m Hopper, that’s Quill, 77, and 24.” He gestured to himself and then pointed to the men behind him. They had to be 7th or 8th year cadets, Hopper was extremely professional and cut to the chase. 77 gave her an awkward wave and a lopsided smile, his messy hair fell down into his eyes and he reached up to fix it, not looking as happy as he did a second ago. And 24 nodded but kept quiet

Huh. He looks a little shy? Or just reserved?

She brought her hand back to her side and it twitched, soon her neck followed suit and she cursed under her breath. Damn Kaminoans and all their testing. Hopper raised a brow when her face scrunched up while her neck twitched.

“Hey she twitches!” 77 called out like they couldn’t all see. He received a smack in the arm by the brother standing next to him. “Ow.”

85 cleared her throat and rolled her neck, trying to shake it off. Hopper still looked at her as if waiting for an explanation and Quill had a concerned look on his face.

“It happens all the time, don’t worry it doesn’t affect my fighting if that’s what you guys are worried about.”

Quill glanced at Hopper and then back at the girl.

“Are you an experimental clone? Are you even a clone at all?”

She barked a Hah! At his question. It wasn’t a bad question, in fact his curiosity was to be expected. However she made a bet with herself on the way to the facility. The bet was if someone was gonna ask something along the lines of that question.

“Yeah, I am. I know there’s been a few batches before me but none made it. I know of one that is out on the field, I think there’s also another female clone who’s been dispatched with a squad but I never met her.” She frowned at the thought, staring at the ground thoughtfully.

The doors hissed and the trainer walked in. Joy. A tall, red, Togrutan male walked through the doors with his hands folded behind his back. Reese glared at them and they immediately snapped to attention, staring straight at the wall. 85 tried to hide the shudder that the trainer had sent down her spine as he walked by. She felt a twitch coming on from nervousness but tried her best to keep it down, however her hands did begin twitching.

“You are going to be doing a level 8 difficulty training exercise today. With a new.. addition to the team,” He flicked his eyes to 85. “I want to see how you 5 will work together as a team dynamic. EC - 8538 is an experimental clone, her particular… difference and skill I want to see today is her enhanced reflexes,”

Quill shot a quick glance at Hopper while the trainer wasn’t looking.

Kriff kriff kriff-

Her neck jerked to the left and her arms were brought up to her chest. Rule number one when a trainer is addressing you (especially one as strict as Reese) do not break attention. And that’s exactly what she did.

“Is there a problem, EC - 8538?” Reese snapped in her face. She tried her best not to flinch and get back to attention.

“No, Sir.” She stood straight, chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in.

“Stay at attention when I address you. Am I clear?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Now, as I was saying, you will be running a level 8 training course today, and if you do not pass, you will restart.”

Tension arose in the room after 85 was yelled at by Reese, it only escalated when he threatened to restart the simulation if they failed to complete it.

“Grab your guns. The test will begin momentarily.” With that, he turned on his heel and made his way to the top of the room where he could oversee the course.

Hopper glanced at her before picking up one of the training blasters provided and handed another one to Quill. She sighed and found one for herself. 77 came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder and nodded to her. What kind of nod it was supposed to be was unknown, but she liked to think it was a ‘you got this’ notion. She smiled at him before taking her place on the floor, waiting patiently for the rest to join her. Hopper stood next to her and the rest followed after him.

“Alright everyone, take your positions. 85, I want you with me.” He glanced around at the squad and then to her.

“Yes, Sirrrr.” She raced after him behind cover and the simulation began. The ultimate goal was to take the ‘capital’ preferably without losing a team member. Granted they would only be stunned but it still didn’t help much. Hopper peeked over the cover they were standing behind and landed a few shots on a B1 training battle droid, taking it down. Across the left to them, Quill yanked 77 down just in time for a blaster bolt to skim over his head. With wide eyes he nodded his thanks to his vod before peeking over again.

The girl stayed by Hopper through most of the simulation. After 30 minutes they had finally advanced to the capital, all they had to do was to take out the droids inside. Rushing into the building, a battle droid aimed and shot for her. A bolt skimmed right by her nose but due to her enhanced reflexes she had dodged it just in time, right after it had passed she raised her blaster and killed the droid.

“Nice work, 85!” Hopper praised through comms. Across the room she could see him take down two droids

“Yeah! Twitchy here is doing pretty good!” 77 chirped in her ear as he pushed 24 out of the way of what was going to be a direct hit.

Twitchy… I like it.

“Why thank you, gentlemen. Not so bad yourself.” If there was one thing she was certain about in life it was that she liked this squad. When she was first told she was training with the Spirit squad she had low hopes. Like the rest of the squads she had trained with, they had seen her differently, not as a sister but a freak.

“Man, they really weren’t joking when they said level 8!” Quill yelled while running from three droids, all firing at him. 85 whipped around and downed two of them, Hopper finishing the third one. He bent down to help his brother up from his hiding spot from the floor. “Thanks, vod.” With a nod, he ran off with Quill following close behind.

“Almost there, boys!” She ran down the hall and began to vault herself over the wall to reach the mark that ended the simulation. Sudden searing pain in her abdomen sent her crashing into the ground, her gun falling out of her hands. When she looked up to see what had hit her, a training commando droid was rushing towards her.

“Commandos!” She was able to choke out through the pain. It wasn’t as painful as a real blaster wound but man did it still hurt. Her neck jerked to the side and her legs seized up.

Not good, not good, not good-

77 came crashing through the course, shooting the commando droid with Hopper to his left, taking out any threats. Once the droid fell he rushed over to 85s side and tried to help her, but he wasn’t Quill. He didn’t know what to do in a medical situation! Nervously, he tried to hold her legs still and calm her down, which seemed to work a little. “C’mon, twitch. We’re almost there.”

She groaned and slowly sat up, after a few seconds she braced herself on 77 arms and stood up. He bent over and handed her the gun she dropped, giving her an encouraging smile. “Alright, let’s go! I don't wanna do this again!” They ran side by side, shooting droids and climbing over the obstacles. After a few more minutes of running and vaulting, the pole was in sight. All they had to do was show Reese that they had the pole and he would end the simulation. Sweat trickled down her forehead as she and 77 booked it for the finish, soon enough she could hear the rest of them following.

77 was the first to reach the pole and yanked it out of its place cheering in excitement, Hopper, Quill, 24, and 85 all gave each other pats on the back.

“Great job everybody!” Hopper praised everyone and playfully punched Quill's shoulder. He looked back with a smile but his focus remained on the girl, she had taken a blow from one of the blasters and it seemed to have a decent effect on her. The training simulation shut down and the squad was released to their barracks to change and head to the mess hall.

_______________________

85 slipped on her boots and hurried to catch up with her new squad. “Heeeyyyyy!” She raised her hand for a high five at 77 once she saw him in the hall, instead he just stood there. “... you’re supposed to hit my hand. It’s a high five?” If these boys didn’t know what a high five was, there might be a slight problem. He hesitantly tapped her hand with his and she smiled.

“Nice job back there! You got some good reflexes.” He began walking down the hall that led to the cafeteria.

“Thanks. That’s my ‘enhancement’ or whatever you wanna call it. I got freaky fast moves.” She wiggled her fingers. Before 77 could reply, the rest of Spirit Squad came up behind them. They walked through the doors to the cafeteria and got in line with their trays. 85 could practically feel the others' eyes on her but she tried her best to just ignore them and get her food. Once she filled her tray, she followed Hopper to an empty table and sat across from him. The rest followed, 77 sitting next to her while Quill and 24 sat on Hopper's side.

“Welcome to the squad, 85.” Hopper smiled at her, happy to have a new addition.

“Twitch.”

“What?”

“Twitch, my name is Twitch.”

It was at that moment she saw 77 grow the biggest smile she had ever seen on a person, he was pretty much grinning from ear to ear.

“Well, Twitch,” Hopper's cup rose in the air. “Welcome to the Spirit Squad.” They all raised their cups and clinked them together before taking a sip. Everyone was smiling, even the more shy, 24.

“It’s good to be her-“

“Well well well, if it isn’t the freak. How did a lab rat end up in a squad like this?” Another clone squad passed their table, taunting Twitch. They laughed at the clone's harsh words but were cut off when Twitch replied.

“You lookin’ for a smack in the face, shabuir?” She had turned around to fully face the clone and stare him directly in the eyes. No bullying today, she would not let these idiots ruin her good day. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the rest of her squad stiffen, they seemed shocked like this wasn’t a regular occurrence.

“Oh it talks!”

It? Oh you’re dead.

Anger bubbled up inside of her and she reached up and grabbed his wrist, twisting it backwards causing him to drop his tray and food. He broke free from her grip and if looks could kill, she would most definitely be dead right now. The squad behind him puffed up their chests, ready for a fight. While she really didn’t want to fight, she was having a nice lunch with her new squad, it was their fault they picked on her. She couldn’t help the way that she was. Her neck twitched to the left and she sighed when they started snickering,

Hopper stood up from the bench he was sitting on to speak. “Listen, Fellas. We don’t want any trouble, just go your own way please.” The clones looked at Twitch once more before walking over to their own table, still side eyeing them occasionally.

“Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to start trouble-”

“Why are you apologizing? They should be the ones asking for forgiveness, you don’t deserve that. No one does.” 77 placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to get his point across.

“Yeah, Twitch it’s okay. We’re not mad at you, but… does that happen often?” Hopper scooted back into his seat.

“Uhm…” She didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, it did happen a lot. So often she just accepted that it was normal. “Yeah… yeah pretty often, but I shouldn’t have grabbed him, I don’t know.”

“Well he deserved it.” 24 piped up. That was the first time Twitch had heard him speak, and it was defending her. “Next time anyone does that to you, you have every right to fight back.”

“Thanks guys.” She took a bite of the food that was on her plate, casting a glance at the table that the clone who mocked her moved to. One locked eyes with her for a second but quickly looked away, snickering to the table.

Yeah, you guys are real comedians.

77 slid his hand off her shoulder and continued to eat. Quill had that look on his face, one he had seen too many times, the one where he wanted to ask a question but was unsure of how to approach it. He very slightly motioned to Twitch, who was very focused on her food, all her spark had fizzled out. Oh if he could beat up those clones right then and there he would’ve, but he didn’t want to start a mess hall fight, those happened too often and he didn’t wanna get written up for misbehavior.

“So… if you don’t mind me asking,” Quill finally voiced his curiosity. “Why do you twitch? And wouldn’t it throw out your neck if you did it enough?”

“No, I don’t mind at all. You actually have a really good question there. I personally have no idea why I twitch, it could be the result of testing or just that I’m an experimental clone. It could just be a defect,” She shrugged. “My neck takes the brunt of it and it’s sore sometimes, some days worse than others. Apparently,” Twitch rested her elbow on the table, holding her fork. “I twitch a lot when I’m experiencing ‘extreme emotions’ at least that’s what the Kaminoans say, I’m not told much.”

“Oh…” He wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to that. “W-Well if you have a sore neck sometime I might be able to help.”

“Quill here has a dream of being a CMO so he takes whatever chance he gets to practice medical.. things.” 77 explained.

“Hey, that's not the right term!”

“Oh who cares.”

“Uh- I do??”

“Guys, guys. No bickering.” Twitch raised her hands to shush them before anything else could be said. “Quill, that would be awesome if you could help my neck sometime, it’s been giving me some problems lately.” His eyes lit up and he nodded.

Hopper sent a kind smile her way before he continued to eat his food.

Once they finished in the mess hall, Twitch was summoned to the medical bay. With a very heavy sigh, she waved bye to her squad and trudged down the cold halls reluctantly.

If you got this far, thank you! ♥️

[fe-husband-heaven]

fluff with dimitri except we're married to him?

Phewww! I wrote something a little lengthy hee hee

but i couldn't help it dndndn I loved married life asks so much, they're so cute! My hoe side for Dimitri shows up a little in this so pardon-

_________________________________________

“Dimitri.”

…Perhaps if I stay quiet…

“Dimitri...Dimitri, ignoring me won't make me relent.”

He sighed like he was giving up, but his grip around your waist only tightened.

“...Must I truly?”

“Yes, I'm sure Seteth will be quite cross if he finds out we've done nothing but laze about all day in bed.”

Dimitri made a displeased face, clearly not happy to relinquish the warmth of your body, or his bed.

Tangled together on the bed, the two of you were a mess of limbs and blankets. He very much preferred it this way, with you trapped nestled in his arms, and the sun filtering through the gaps of the blue curtains.

Laughing lightly at his expression, you playfully punched his shoulders, encouraging him to let you go. He did not,rather, in response, he buried his face in your hair, closed his eyes, and inhaled your scent blissfully.

“..Surely, there must be some rule against pulling the King from his spouse before twelve.” He murmured.

“Dimitri, It is noon.”

A pause.

“...Before two.”

You shook your head amusedly at his antics, and he reflexively pulled back a little when your hair tickled his chin. Taking advantage of this, you pressed a kiss to his lips before rolling out of his arms. Dimitri has an absolute death grip. Were he not a King with duties, you are quite sure he'd keep you locked in his hold, he had really come to love sleeping by your side.

He has told you before how he had been tormented at night by horrid nightmares. Sleep had become torturous, and he had begged for daylight to come sooner.

Now, he had someone to keep those very dreams away. Someone to thread their fingers through his hair and lull him into a peaceful rest. 

There were still times where we he awoke in a cold sweat, the abruptivity of the way he sat up would wake you as well. Without fail each time, he'd apologize for it instead of worrying about himself. He was still as selfless as ever and it only made you want to care for him more.

Dipping your knee a little into the bed, you tugged lightly at his arm, careful to stay just far enough away to escape if he tried to pull you back into bed before stepping away fully just to be sure.

"Alright, c'mon! You had plenty of fun last night, it's time we get to work!"

He flushed and a look of minuscule shock at your unflinching mention of something so intimate had him sputter a little.

"T-that's rather unfair, Y/N…I.."

He looked away, finding the white walls of the bedroom more interesting.

"..I should hope you also..um...e-enjoyed..Oh for goodness sake, I am King..!..Heavens, what would the people say if they saw their ruler blushing like a schoolboy…"

You struggled to hold back laughter at the image, especially when Mr.Blaiddyd grabbed a pillow to shove his face into, in hopes of hiding his reddening face. Though, the way his blush crawled to his ears, gave him away.

You sighed your laughter away, and relished in how relaxed he looked. How long it had been since he was given rest…The war had taken its toll before, during, and after.

The bed creaked under Dimitri when he finally decided to leave the comfort that was his bed. Now, it was your turn to turn a little red. He was toned, no doubt from the arduous battles he'd endured but it didn't make his abs any smaller…

He was also half dressed (Your doing) and the little clothing he did wear gave a tiny peek past his navel. His hair was an absolute mess but for whatever reason, it only added to your attraction.

If you squinted, you could almost see sparkles surrounding him-

"P-please stop staring."

It seemed Dimitri's day was to start with a constant stream of blood rushing to his cheeks. He was never good at handling blatant affection, let alone the unhidden gawking of the person he loves so much. Normally, he'd be nothing short of oblivious to other people's attraction but after having spent so much time by each others side, he knew you like the back of his hand.

He stood in front of you now, and you stepped forward to wrap your arms around him in a hug, your chin rested on his chest, you looked up at him, smiling.

"Oh? But what am I to do when my husband is the handsomest man in the land?"

His own arms found their way around your waist, a hug being his reward for getting out of bed.

"Handsomest? Oh, Y/N, you exaggerate, but thank you regardless."

"Uh, excuse me??"

Your sudden change in tone, surprised him a little, but his smile returned when he heard your next words, in the most sarcastic of tones.

"That's my husband you speak of, I shall allow no further defamation, hmph."

Dimitri laughed softly and craned his neck down for a kiss. His hand traveled to hold your cheek in place for it to last longer before he held your hands in his own.

"How is it that I always feel as though I were on top of the world when I'm with you…"

He was speaking more to himself, but his eyes were looking into your own, lovingly. If he could see just how lovestruck he appeared, he'd be embarrassed all over again but instead, his view was filled with you returning the same swooning look.

He was gently thumbing your knuckles now,  and coupled with his expression, it reminded you of the day you were wed.

He'd had that same absolutely adoring look, albeit he was a little more tearful laying his eyes upon his bride in white then than he was about his wife in pyjamas now...Regardless! He had held your hands in the same fashion, surrounded by the cheers of his old classmates and the whistles of Sylvain, he thumbed your gloved hands and wished the priest would simply hurry so he could kiss you already.

It had been a grandiose event, blues, golds, and a crying Dedue (the best man) adorned the reception. Ashe had assisted Dedue in cooking for the wedding guests, Duscur's finest dishes were served that day. Alois had prepared a toast full of corny jokes that had Dimitri bellowing in laughter and Felix scowling in disapproval. Mercedes and Annette had done their absolute best to doll you up and they had their own fit of crying when they saw their dear friend's finished look. 

Ingrid had helped organize most of it and yelled at Sylvain whenever necessary to get him back on track whenever tables were to be moved.

(Reminding him also that it was strictly FORBIDDEN to flirt with the bride)

Many of the old students originally from other houses visited as well. Petra had brought souvenirs from her homeland, Ignatz came with a promise to paint the new queen and king and gift them the piece as a wedding present, and Linhardt...well he fell asleep midway through but he came!

The night had been filled with merriment and it only got more chaotic when Claude had made his grand entrance, insisting that Dimitri simply must dance with the bride though Dimitri suspected he only wanted to see him squirm as he had not danced with anyone since before the war.

Manuela had gotten drunk alongside Hanneman which was a huge surprise until they started bickering even in their alcohol induced states…

The disorder was quelled when Professor Byleth threatened detention to his old students, and not a peep was heard thereafter other than Alois's bellowing laughter and mention that the professor never changes.

All in all, it was to be expected that a wedding with so many...ahem, colorful characters would also display the same amount of personality.

Even then, though the very view of you being lead down the aisle by Gilbert was imprinted on his mind for eternity, the moment when the festivities ended and he could have you all to himself was his most treasured memory of that night.

Away from everyone who wished to steal you away for a dance, he could at last be alone with you and revel in his beloved's company. 

You still tease him every now and then about how he fumbled in removing your dress before eventually tearing it with his monstrous strength but at that time he had certainly made up for it afterwards.

Regardless of his inexperience shining through beforehand, he still found the memory of your first time as husband and wife, precious.

Not much had changed since then other than Dimitri's upgrade from Boar Prince to Boar King but it seemed the honeymoon phase had yet to pass either of you if the way Dimitri's lips were once again being moved against your own was any indication.

For a moment, you thought you might have lost and he might just have gotten you back into that bed but a knock on the door interrupted the two of you.

"Y/N, Dimitri, I know you're in there! It is high past morning now, I have let you rest long enough. Your duties await you, your subjects will not rule themselves."

Seteth-

And an annoyed sounding Seteth too-

Perhaps it was the way you panicked but Dimitri was incentivised to scramble for his clothes when you started to.

Only for you to both trip when you heard Manuela walk by,

"Oh Seteth, leave them be. We have to have an heir to the throne eventually~"

[lbat1901]

Insulting Each Other By Using Shapes?

Eduardo: just look at him, his stupid brown hair, his stupid green sweater, and his annoying voice that I can't stand Jon: you mean just like you, right? *gets punched in the face* OW!! Eduardo: did I say that you can talk Jon? Jon: n...no.... Eduardo: do me a favor and shut up Jon: yes Eduardo, sorry Eduardo Eduardo: thank you *looks back at Edd* Edd: *doesn't see Eduardo* hahaha that's really funny *drinks a can of cola* Eduardo: God I hate it when he drinks cola. Two can play at this game *takes out a can of diet coke* [Eduardo walks over to Edd's backyard and as he was going to pass him, Eduardo accidentally knocks Edd's can out of his hand without noticing] Edd: *gasp* *slowly* nooooooooooooooooooo *tries to catch the can but ends up failing* my cola, that was my cola. Who knocked my cola? *looks around and sees Eduardo* Eduardooo....*walks over to him* Eduardo: Edd should be noticing me by now *takes a sip of his diet coke* Edd: *approaches Eduardo* grr.....why you stupid triangle. HEE YA!!! *karate chops at Eduardo's can thus knocking it out his hand and onto the ground* Eduardo: my diet coke, my precious diet coke *notices Edd* Edd..... Edd: *growls angrily* Eduardo: why you idiotic rhombus! Edd: why you son of a square! Eduardo: you stupid half circle! Edd: you stupid pyramid! Eduardo: that's it! COME HERE YOU RECTANGLE!!! [Both Edd and Eduardo start duking it out in a dust cloud] Edd: REFLEX ANGLE!!! Eduardo: OBTUSE ANGLE!!! Matt: they're...they're just insulting and calling each other shapes Tom: yea I see that Matt: so if they were to call me something mean, would they call me an acute angle? Tom: no an acute angle would be a compliment Matt: oh well that's nice to hear. I want to be called a shape Tom: Matt you're a stupid oval, you know that right? Matt: aww, is an oval a compliment? Tom: no that's an insult Matt: what? *starts tearing up* but...but why? Tom: *sighs* Edd: YOU RECTANGULAR PRISM!!! Eduardo: YOU TRIANGULAR PRISM!!! Edd: GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!! Eduardo: SO DO I!!! {End}

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

1/27/2018 Horoscope

Aries: You have no answer for “why you”, so you don’t respond. He probably need space, anyway. (You also don’t want to face that hurt, you don’t care to respond) His daughter died and here’s someone who can’t die, at least not for long, to rub salt into the wound that she’s gone and you’re still here. You... don’t like this. 

Taurus: Hee hee hee. Ha ha ha. Hu hu hu. That isn’t your fault. N’est-ce pas? “Ich verstehe nicht” 你说。Du verstehst, mais tu ne le sais pas, but you do know it. 你很高兴。Es ist gut, c’est drôle, it’s fun. 

Gemini: You wonder if you can eat the beautiful thing. That’s a weird thought. You don’t think that you would think that thought. But what do you know, maybe that thought is a thought that you’d think, you can’t be certain what you’d think or think to think of. This thought you’ve thought is just as likely for you to think as other thought about thoughts, and to think otherwise of this think is to think of thinking, which is almost a form of madness of thought, and you are stopping now because neither thought nor think sound like real words anymore. You disregard that thoug- that wondering, because it’s probably a bad idea to try to eat the beautiful thing.

Cancer: Tomorrow is Sunday. You remember that means there’s going to be a game. You also remember that Ridali was a big part of the field’s eating habits(?), but he’s not down there. You ask him what’s going to happen. He smiles at you and cheerfully announces that he doesn’t know, not yet at least, but it won’t be good. You are not comforted.

Leo: You tell Fira about the possible new recruit over bar food that you pay for, because she bested you today. She makes almost the exact same conflicted grimace that you probably did when you found out. She does agree to help out, after it’s just as much her job as yours. You’ll meet the guy, you’re told it was a guy, tomorrow. You sigh fuck very softly, but with passion. 

Virgo: Another pro for running a bakery: the happy noises people make when they bite into some of your confections. A con for running a bakery: getting up at ass o’clock in the morning to get everything ready. You are not a morning person. But, as you clutch your energy drink and watch one of your first customers of the day enjoy your hard work, you think that this con is outweighed by the pro.

Libra: You spend the day trying to find a lawyer for Kaimana. Notice you said a lawyer, not a good lawyer, just any lawyer at all, because apparently, finding a lawyer who will take on a kelpie for a client is like finding a needle in a haystack. Worse, actually, because you can’t even use a magnet or a flame to make the job easier on yourself. Each time you manage to tell the story to a promising lawyer, only for them to cut you off and flat out refuse to help you when you say it’s for a kelpie, you feel the bitter acid rise in the back of your throat. You hate this situation. You hate it, and as you’re shot down again, you want to scream, if only to relieve that burning pressure in your throat.

Scorpio: Ach, the river is running high. If it keeps raining, it might flood. You might want to go visit those storefront by the river, today, if you need anything from them.

Sagittarius: You forgot about the house spirits. You woke up at midnight and went to grab a glass of water, and one nearly frightened you out of your skin. It looked like it wanted to dart away from you, you had moved too quickly for it, but it was so tired. You realized you hadn’t been leaving out the milk for them and you feel terrible. You scoop up the sad little bundle and head into your kitchen. You make it a little dish of milk, with honey because you are generous and you feel like the little guys deserve it after so long without. A couple more peek out from around corners, silent, too shy to come closer. You remember them fluttering around you curiously the first time you stayed up late to watch them, humming and whistling. You feel like you lost something. You make you way back to bed, moving slowly and carefully. No need to scare the sweet things any further.

Capricorn: You practiced punches on a tree until it’s bark fell off and your knuckles were bloody. It stings, hurts, but you keep going. The skin is split, and the tree is starting to get red flecks on it, but you keep going. If you stop, you’ll think. You don’t want to think. Your head has been running the same loops into the ground. You should wrap your knuckles, that’s what you’re supposed to do. You don’t stop, as terrible as it is, the pain is keeping you focused in the present. Your knuckles are raw. Fluffy is whining at you, you think you’re crying. You pull back your hand for another punch (that isn’t even proper form), and someone grabs your arm. You almost reflexively punch them in surprise, but stop yourself at the last second. Look who it is, one of the people you were trying to not think about. Punchy.

Aquarius: You realize you have no idea where to get a fridge. You ask Suzy, since that is what friends are for, you’re reasonably sure. You can see the realization dawn on her face as she realizes oh shit, this guy doesn’t have a fridge, I forgot. She agrees to help you, and then tells you that apples don’t go in refrigerators. You’re a bit put out by this, and double check that milk does go in a fridge, right? The answer is yes, milk does go in the fridge. You’re very pleased by the idea that you will be able to get milk for your cereal and you tell her so. She laughs a bit, but you think it’s with you, not at you. She is currently finding your out-of-place enthusiasm for milk to be adorable.

Pisces: You need more paper. You go buy some. Making your own would be better for powerful hexes, but you only make weak hexes and you don’t even have the tools necessary to make you own paper. The store clerk looks at you like you personally painted the shadows between the stars. You’re used to it, it’s natural for them to be wary around a predator, but you almost wish you didn’t have to be.

[girlreportsmoved]

HEADCANON: LOIS LANE + COMBAT SKILLS. requested by anon.

        lois lane has, in numerous portrayals across various sources of media & literature, always been written as an extremely self-handled, independent reporter who never hesitates to use strength of force if necessary. growing up as an army brat, she’s learned her fair share of moves, & because of her daring & fearless nature, utilises these experiences quite often during her work expeditions.  * click on the linked sentences for sources !

TRAINING / CHILDHOOD.

     lois’ father, samuel lane, was a five-star general in the army who, upon the arrival of his firstborn at the ramstein airbase, fully expected to raise a son. however, obviously, he received to daughters within three years of one another. subsequently, with increased pressure on lois, as he oldest, he began to train his children like members of his own unit; placing them on strict diet regimes, combat training, self-defense, arms use, as well as emotional & mental durability.

   specifically, most of her’s + lucy’s diets on weekdays would consist of MRE meals. junk-food were off limits, except when she could smuggle them. lois had been trained in martial combat & self defence since the age of six.   her dad taught her to shoot age nine, & how to operate a machine gun at thirteen. she also learnt the mechanics of a sniper rifle & carried her own pistol with her since middle school. often, in combat, her father taught her to have a trained eye for logical & emotional weaknesses, using her small size as an advantage.  more on that in the next section.

   lois possess an incredible mental & emotional strength. most of this is due to her own resilience & rebellion. regardless, lois lane is one of the stubbornest people in the world. you can’t get anything out of her without hurting someone she loves. ever. in addition, sam also trained his girls with minor interrogation exercises & ‘emotional conditioning’. lois had very little option to be vulnerable, even in the face of abuse, simply because her father looked down on it. the circumstances demanded that she be hyperalert, on guard, independent, confident, self-sufficient, blase, & content no matter what. 

     on his worst days, which weren’t frequent, but not rare, her father would often question, and/or force lois & lucy to spar until they dropped or broke down in tears, pushing them beyond their limits. after her father’s passing, lois had to work to regain control of her emotions & capabilities to build up enough strength to have faith & allow herself to be vulnerable. but to this day, she is unbreakable in mental strength & spirit, no matter how far she is pushed.

FIGHTING / WEAPONRY.

    lois’ first weapon is always her words. however, in her line of work, she often runs into unpredictable & dangerous situations throughout her investigations. she has a fondness for both judo & boxing, nurtured since childhood, her fighting affected as a result.  her punches & kicks are always well-placed, purposeful, & combative in the nature she was taught - but overall, her mechanics, and technique are nothing especially elegant. lois’ style is best described as roughouse, with the army base as her former schoolyard. she will often use whatever object she can get her hands on to take down her opponent.

    she is very logical & strategic in personality, so she often looks for the physical weaknesses in someone - for instance, if her attacker is bending his legs & arms & preparing to strike, she’ll kick his knees & joints so the reflex gives way & he topples. lois is also capable of using the centre of gravity to flip a man over her shoulder, sometimes in fireman’s carry. although rare, lois is sometimes caught in situations where she is wearing high heels due to the dangers of the day being unanticipated. in that case, she’ll often use kicks more then anything to  target her attackers, but often reverting to breaking off the heel & using it as a sharp edge instead. 

   as far as weapons go, lois keeps a small pistol in her desk at all times, since her enemies are everything from rebel leaders in the middle east to big-dollar corrupt corporation ceos. lois prefers to use pistols rather then anything else, as they are easily concealable & convenient. she is very comfortable with them & knows how to disarm herself if necessary.  she’s a very good shot, especially with two hands, but keeps from hitting major organs as much as possible. she’s better with moving targets at a distance & prefers to use her fists when too close up.

    lois will always reason with her attackers before striking them down. she believes in giving people chances as much as possible, & uses her media influence & journalistic recognition as leverage and/or threats, as she is the one who gets to tell the story in the end. she prefers to disarm first, rather then cause any excess major harm. but lois would never kill someone, unless they were hurting someone she loved. that is the only case in which she would, ever. otherwise, she’s good at what she does, and she knows it.

* IMPORTANT NOTE / DISCLAIMER. while lois lane does kick major ass, she is first & foremost a journalist. she never invokes any of her father’s training unless prompted, not even with a gun to her head - unless she absolutely needs to + there are no innocent lives in danger. lois’ most powerful weapon is her mind & her words, which is uses most often & most effective. just because her fighting isn’t shown, doesn’t mean it isn’t there....but her strengths are brains first & brawn second. this doesn’t make her any less of a heroine.

[taiey]

The continuing adventures of “taiey writes liveblogs that probably only make sense with a transcript of the movie to line it up with”.

no peter please don't go after him

he really does get the most dramatic lines—ooh, green reflection in the window!

wow, that's. She really does ask for validation a lot of times

:((( this whole goblin kit thing is really elaborate? like, i thought you would've failed science. there is mechanical engineering. and chemical. for bombs.

That's a really, really stable spider web that is also flexible enough to support them without clinging, at that angle

[obligatory evil meteor mention]

Surprisingly evil-looking mail delivery guy! Uuunless you're her dad and you live here or. Oh, okay.

Oh, May.

But, like, no pressure or anything.

!!! her ring.

ahh evil evil scooter. of evil.

Harry this is not a good way to have an honest conversation. Stop punching your friend. No, I don't care that you're in costume, he's not, that makes it—DON'T STAB HIM!

I guess by the time your friend is yelling at you about his father, while wearing his green goblin costume and standing on his green goblin scooty-fly, it is acceptable to tell your friend his father was the green goblin, despite said father's dying request.

Dude! Attempts at vengeance on your best friend for murder of your father are NOT an excuse for massive property damage! I hope you pay for the repairs OH AND ALSO did no one get hurt by that massive shower of bricks onto a busy street??

"I'm still here! And now I have a lightsaber!"

oh no what if your new superpowers don't cover falling from heights? (I'm sure they do, I know he dies at the end of the movie.)

I wonder, again, if Peter took him out of the goblin costume first. like. awkward.

Wait, what? I thought when that guy jumped/fell out a window he died.

There's marshland in New York? With a terribly ill-secured particle physics laboratory?

OH MY GOODNESS YOU GUYS, YOU'RE TERRIBLE! you can't even check how much mass is in the reactor? How many birds with superpowers does New York have now?

Also awkward: imagine if those cops had gotten there slightly differently and fallen into the spinny thing toooo...

Go. See. Him. and hope maybe he doesn't remember you're spiderman if he doesn't remember you saved his liiiffffe  (oh, good.)

Hey, Peter, you maybe want to. idk. Tell MJ. Some relevant facts, about her friends and his father and.

yikes that's some horrifying sand movement. like. yeeesh no.

Oh... your hand cannot pick up your daughter's locket. :( —yes! go hand, reformed hand! Woohoo! :D

Hey, nice green-ing, sand. Good job. Stripy and everything.

Yeah dude no. Don't start talking about spidey now. The other stuff was kinda okay but not, well.

Okay so when there's a large metal beam swinging about nearby your window... maybe... not? with the walking towards it?

Man, what is wrong with this crane?

you did not pick a good guy to insult peter parker to, whatsyaname. eddy. Ed. idk.

“YOU TELL MY WIFE thank you.” heh. Slight, teeny, tiny, character development, I love.

He didn't see you there, I didn't see you with a camera. Where'd you get the camera from, Pete?

Ed. Shut up. He's paying you $50 for a front page shot, he does not value anything about you.

Like, that could be a conflict for Peter, ‘i could stage that and get a steady job’ buut I already know the plot of this movie and can kinda guess how Edward gets that shot.

That is an excellent Stan Lee cameo.

...how much... exactly... has harry lost of his memory... if he doesn't know he has money...

SUPER EVIL REFLEXES!!

...oh, Mary Jane.

...oh no don't you be jealous.

This'd be a really awkward parade thing if he decided to not in faaact show up oh no. Oh, no. Oh, man.

Wow, that sure is a conveniently placed "Sand & Stone" truck. Where'd you get that shovel?

Wow, bullets work surprisingly well considering he's made. of sand.

[obligatory note of happiness about the MJ&Harry bit. and. honesty.]

dude put yer mask back on

ehhhh look the thing about the humble never-asks-to-be-thanked thing is that it doesn't work when. this.

Oh my goodness he asks her? He suggests it?? Peter, no!

"No, Spider Man, no!" I relate to this kid.

like, i've seen gifs ofit, that shekissed him but i did not realise he aSKS HER TO

Yeah, same, Mary Jane!

haha but maybe this time mary jane won't be kidnapped

The sand is now driving a truck. Poorly.

Yeeeesh no, stop, no, ~sheriff~? You’re not.

tbh what if you just. Let him take the money. So much property damage going on here. So very much.

WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T KISS SOMEONE. WHILE PREPARING TO PROPOSE TO SOMEONE ELSE. WHAT. IF.

This guy... is gonna end up bringing you that ring at the worst possible moment during your inevitable argument. Isn't he. Isn't he, Peter.

You could also try telling him you got fired, MJ. He knows that feeling! Kind of.

...not that you should say that, Peter. 'cause it's kind of only kinda.

how have you not noticed how terribly your spider man/actress analogies go over. every single time.

Like in a literary sense it's kinda cool, there are parallels between their experiences, kinda... BUT NOT RIGHT nooow

shhuuuttt uppp (this is all like 5 seconds, i just keep. pausing.)

Hey, what could make Mary Jane feel worse right now? ENTER GWEN STACY.

ENTER GWEN STACY TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE KISSED SPIDERMAN

“Who kisses Spiderman?? :D” "Me. Most days. When I'm not mad at him for beiNG TERRIBLE."

I. I'm not sure. like. what the point of that question is. There is no good answer.

No. He did not, MJ. He had idea how it would make you feel, because BOY I DUNNO.

um. usher guy. no. SHE JUST LEFT, WHY WOULD YOU SEND THE CHAMpagne in anyway, whyy

Beep!

Oh, hey! I was right! That other guy did die, probably ...aand it wasn't your fault. technically.

We chased down the wrong guy?

Pfff.

Yeah so I think so far he really hasn't killed anyone. Not counting Norman or Ock on technicalities.

Does he feel guilty? About you or about... okay, don't say "I don't need you" to Mary Jane Watson. That's a bad idea.

The evil ooze has been hanging out in your bedroom for ?? weeks and it's only now that it attacks you? infects. thing.

"Hey, this was a lot quicker than last time I made a new costume."

Spiderman is just, like, an accepted traffic hazard by now, right?

Oh, I'm so glad he's being suspicious of the black goop.

...you're not a biologist, but you can recognise a symbiote on a molecular level in minutes when it's AN ALIEN.

dude please realise you look super evil now. even to —haha like you shouldn't smash people's cameras but also haha

"Little did Spiderman know, I have TWO cameras!"

OK I'll admit the black is legitimately good for hiding on dark ceilings

TRAIN ASSISTED WEB KICK!

oh gosh the body horror from this sand thing—hope that pipe wasn't important--ooh, water works.

...also hope this large tank of pressurised water isn't important and won't flood annnything else.

EVIL HAIR-PULLING-DOWN

...that's... kinda a valid point? but. I mean sure, he should fix the door, probably, just not being polite

Hey, Peter, you made a good decision! Nice! AND STAY OFF.

Aunt May isn't having any of this "murder can be good" stuff.

revenge == the symbiote ??

Waitress/Singer is a job? ...also maybe you should tell your boyfriend about thi—Harry paints? Cool!

(Does Harry know that MJ's dating Peter?)

Yell at people and they offer you oranges?

Hee Ursula! :D

He also cooks! And they dance!

M. J. Do not. Noooooo whyy

oh no. noo. different no. :((( no. Please, Harry. Keep your eyes off 'the ball' and ahhh—hey, there's that scene that wasn't in the VHS version.

Harry?? This is like 20% of the reason you wear a mask, dude!

whiiiplaaash oh my goodness ahh poor Mary Jane.

:((( see this is the kind of quality anguish you can get when you don't just discriminately kidnap, other supervillains take note

pete. pete. pe ter par ker. "I'm breaking up with you" is not. in fact. a good segue to "Let's get married"

Took them three movies but they finally made acting plot relevant. It's not! that hard!

AND THEN. YOU GO BACK TO PETER. AND PRETEND TO BE HIS AMNESIAC BEST FRIEND oh my goodness and then you use her omitive lie about the shoW AND THEN WE GO FULL SM1

“but. but she broke up with *you*, because she was in love with *me*. !!”

what. Why are. you winking?

Bright green coffee sign!

nooo. emotional anguish---->TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES

Right, Harry, overall—because I mean high marks for ingenuity and not-kidnapping, but—you're really lacking on the follow through here, like for keeping up the act. And wow that is a lot alcohol in front of you.

Harry please notice the ominous black spidey suit. Please. Soon.

harry im not sure you've noticed but you have blades. on. ur arm.

Takes symbiote!Pete to point out the obvious: that Norman.didn't.deserve you.

Kinda funny how after all that the picture in question is not, in fact, of Peter actually doing anything wrong.

OH MY GOODNESS, IT'S PHOTOSHOPPED? IT'S not even actually symby-spidey?

Yeah, no, Ed. I can forgive a lot of things. But reposts with the watermarks edited out? Not that.

hahahah

Symby-Pete likes Ursula's food?   . . .ah

*hair flick*

water doesn't kill him forever. :o

OH MAN PETER NO.

symbiote-Pete spends money recklessly.

Oh man, Gwen is so nice.

...alien meteor ooze teaches you to play jazz piano? ...and dance?

blonde hair and the black headband and their clothes and his hair and her earrings... it's a Look.

GWEN STACY IS SO NICE! ("That was all for her? I'm so sorry.")

NO.

get. out.

geddoouutt

"Who are you?" "Well, Mary Jane, I reckon I'm the exact feeling of a church spire silhouetted against the storm clouds, as lightning crashes in the background."

okay so eddy, brocky, rock boy. don't pray to God to kill people. Don't... don't do that.

How. Exactly. Do you recognise the face of a guy you barely know, four floors up, while he's tearing an alien ooze suit off his skin.

oh no his hair's still black

Continuing adventures of That Awful Door.

I hope Aunt May knows he's Spider man, because otherwise there is just waaay too much backstory to explain here.

I think she also wants him to keep the ring so she doesn't have to wear it.

“Spiderman... didn't have those teeth last time... right?”

Maybe not? with the watching her through her window? Also considering last time your saw her in person you hit her maybe not do that first part in person, perhaps.

"On Broad-way."

...you also locked the normal one away? Or, no, that was earlier this night. You just were using the evil one, and stowed that away. ok. gotcha.

Harry! Harry, you could do. a good. ...oh no. peter don't come also what happened to his face??

:(((

OH MAN. BERNARD! i don't think this is gonna work. but. thank you. for. saying that. [it worked!:D]

what happened to your face do you still have superpowers if you're not healing.

It's the real spiderman! He stopped in front of an american flag for a sec!

this reporter overuses the word 'seemed'

Brick!

you're stiiilll fallling

Listen MJ most of the webbing is really strong, you can actually move along it and even if you fall through one level you've got a decent chance of catching the next.

this reporter is so alarmist. and that one.

Goblin bomb!

"I'm not here for you~"

Burn it & smash it! :D

That kid is awesome! ("Film's extra.")

or. you could. shoot web. and not. jump. And maybe get her down somehow? Ground level would be... safer... lotta floors, elevators proabably not working...

why did that work?

ohh. noise.

oh... kay...

[tragic backstories make everything better]

i f o r g i v e y o u .. ..

i like to think he becomes also a superhero. subtler. smaller. never quite noticed, but. bit by bit.

why in the world is gwen at harry's funeral

(mj you do in fact have a job. and. a song to finish singing. um. but anyway)

"Girl at the final battle" yes. Her. Excellent.

The credit songs this time are so... gentle...

(Balance of probabilities Harry died intestate but maybe he drew up a will at some point when he liked Peter and didn’t revoke it and then they can go help Marko’s daughter, perhaps? Maybe.)

[dans-les-fleures]

Lover’s Paradox

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Lieutenant Min Yoongi had stationed himself at his desk for three hours already, starting from when he came in at six a.m. sharp, and practically inhaled the coffee he had bought from the quaint hole in the wall cafe near his apartment. Despite already downing the largest cup he could order from the shop, he no longer felt the effects of the extra shots of expresso and was forced to drink the watered-down version offered at his workplace. With more caffeine than actual rivulets of carmine running through his veins, Yoongi practically fuels his sleep deprived body with lethal doses of the stale and caustic coffee provided at the Bangtan Police Station.

The crisp sheets of paper from the latest case file he is examining are spread out across his desk in somewhat of a disarray, the original order he had put it in four hours ago now long gone, as he continuously rifles around for certain tidbits of information that can piece the solution together. Picking up what is now his third cup of coffee, he mumbles a variation of curses under his breath when he sees that he had been using the case’s manila folder as a coaster, glaring disdainfully at the blatant brown ring staining the front of the file. He is beginning to lose feeling in his backside, and his mind toys with the thought of taking a nap in one of the cots set up in the backroom. Yet, he cannot take his eyes away from the evidence laid out in front of him; the solution is right there—he can feel it beneath his fingertips as he trails them across the ridged papers and the dark ink.

Three rapid knocks are heard against the glass of his office door, and Yoongi looks up to see Hoseok—his second-in-command sergeant and long-time police partner—enter the room, nervously biting his lower lip. A deeper crease forms between his furrowed eyebrows as Yoongi takes one glance at the worried and tense expression adorning Hoseok’s ordinarily cheery face. He finally speaks up, his voice cracking slightly from disuse. “What is it, Hoseok?”

“Organized Crime sent their sergeant here to work on that case with you.” Hoseok gestures towards the opened file. “Apparently, it’s connected to a string of gang induced murders they’ve been tracking, and—”

“Oh, fuck, no.” Yoongi interrupts, rubbing his temples as he closes his eyes. “Please don’t tell me it’s—”

“Guess I’m stuck with you again. I’d say it’s a pleasure to work with you again, but it really isn’t, so let’s just cut the crap and get straight to it, pretty boy.”

Yoongi’s eyes snap open fast enough to see you saunter in the room and park yourself next to his desk and impossibly close to him, one hand on your hip as the other shuffles around the documents. “So did you just decide to throw everything on an open surface randomly and hope for the best? Are you losing your touch already?”

Hoseok helplessly shrugs at his partner before disappearing from his office. Narrowing his eyes at you, Yoongi lets out a stream of unrepeatable words that has the corners of your mouth quirk into a small smile. He and you had always competed against each other ever since you two were training in the academy, fighting for the top position. And oh boy, whenever you aced the assignment, squeaking past him with higher markings, you always made sure to flaunt it at him, and he hates it, but he also knows that he always liked the way you get upset and storm off whenever he gets the upper hand. And he absolutely abhors every time you taunted him because all he could think of was how good you look in the fitting uniform. But most of all, Yoongi hates your stupid face with that stupid smile that still somehow makes his heart speed up at the most inconvenient times. Like right now for example.

“Do you have the tapes from the interrogation you did on the supplier?” Hearing no response from Yoongi after a pregnant pause, you wave your hand in front of his face, wriggling your fingers, and he immediately slaps your hand away. His right hand is now awfully close to your left hand, something you notice with a jolt when he starts to absentmindedly tap his fingers against the paper covered oak surface.

“Just hold on for one second and let me think, geez.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you knew how to do that.”

“Fuck off.”

“Make m—”

You get interrupted mid-sentence when the door barges open once again, and Taehyung flounces in with a large grin on his face. He looks quite suspicious, sidling over next to you with both his hands behind his back. “Hey, Eun Hee. How’re you doing?”

You slightly squint at him, trying to see if he was just being friendly or having an ulterior motive up his sleeve. You internally curse yourself for not paying as much attention as you should have in profiling class. “I’m doing alright. What about you?”

“Good! Good! I’m doing great!” He beams at you happily, but you still remain somewhat skeptical about his intentions.

“What is it, Taehyung?” Yoongi sighs, looking at the cheerful detective. “Did Jungkook handcuff you again and now you can’t get out of them?”

“Wha—no, that was one time!” Taehyung momentarily sulks before brightening up again, adding a stack of stapled papers onto the current piles you have in front of you. “Here’s the lists of suspects and their information. Oh, and this.”

“What is i—wait, what are you doing?!”

Both you and Yoongi let out a holler of surprise when Taehyung nimbly reaches between the two of you and snaps on a pair of handcuffs onto your left wrist and Yoongi’s right with a resounding click. Jerking his hand back towards his chest in reflex, Yoongi pulls you in accidentally, and you tumble forward, your face suddenly mere millimeters apart from his and your hands pressed against his chest to stop you from toppling. His eyes flicker down to your parted lips for a nanosecond, and your own pair might have taken a quick detour down to his pretty, soft looking, pink lips before flitting back up to make eye contact. Vermillion instantaneously stains his pale cheeks as well as your own before you hastily shove yourself into a standing position, the handcuffs’ chain hanging between the two of you, sparkling and glittering in the light deviously.

“Kim Taehyung.” Yoongi lets the detective’s name slither out from his lips in an octave below a deadly whisper as your stare burns a hole directly in said man’s face. Eyes growing round, Taehyung cowers slightly, backing up before he feels the door behind him, the doorknob pressing uncomfortably into his lower spine.

“Give me the damn key for this,” you speak up, shaking your hand now curled into a fist at Taehyung, the chain rattling as Yoongi’s hand is also unwilling yanked upwards and shaking around limply. Taehyung audibly gulps before patting his pockets for the metal piece.

“… I don’t have it.”

“Taehyung, I swear to god I’m gonna fucking murder you and make it look like an accident. I’m good friends with every coroner in this fucking city.” You threaten in a low voice, and his eyes grow wider, his chest heaving up and down.

“This is one thing I can agree on,” Yoongi says, shooting Taehyung another scathing look before he slowly stands up from his chair.

“Oh, well, look, the two of you are getting along just great right there,” Taehyung laughs nervously, eyes darting back and forth between the menacing figures mere meters away from him. “… Even if it is for plotting my death.”

Then, with a shriek, he hightails out of there, turning on his heel and fleeing the scene with a shout over his shoulder. “I’m sorry! It was a dare!”

“Kim Taehyung!” you bellow, but the man is long gone, and Yoongi falls back into his chair with an exasperated sigh, hand hanging limply next to him. You look over the man next to you with slight distaste. You were already stuck with working with him on this case, but now, you are quite literally stuck with your arch nemesis from day one at the academy: Min Yoongi, the bane of your existence, the one obstacle in your path, your ultimate rival. He was like that pesky fly that kept buzzing around your room no matter how many times you tried to swat it down. You can still picture that arrogant look he gave you every time he beat you: the way his sleepy eyes narrow in satisfaction, the way he cocks a half smile at you, the way he utterly frustrates you.

Every time he gloats over you, you just want to punch him in the face to shut him up. With your fist or maybe with your mouth. You still aren’t quite sure which one to use yet. Possibly both.

Yoongi drags his free hand over his face in frustration and defeat. His voice breaks the temporary stunned silence that had fallen over the two of you. “Should we continue with the case?”

“Did you get any new documents yesterday? I already looked through everything from the case file that was sent over by your captain two days ago. There wasn’t much.”

“Sadly, no,” he sighs, “But we have the list Taehyung dropped off. We can go interview the suspects and their friends and family.”

“But they’re not gonna take us seriously if we walk around handcuffed.” You remark offhand before a terrible thought manifests in your mind. “Oh god, everyone’s gonna think we’re some kind of kinky couple with a sex life gone wrong.”

Yoongi wrinkles his nose at the notion before letting out a deep sigh. “As much as it pains me to say this, you’re right. We should go look for the key.”

“Are you crazy?” You look at him incredulously. “Who knows where Taehyung put that thing? He could’ve dropped it anywhere! I could be stuck with you for weeks! We should just use a metal cutter or go to a locksmith.”

“No, we can’t.” Yoongi shakes his head, and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“And why the hell not?”

“If Captain Bang sees I spent funds for things that could’ve been avoided, if he even knew that Taehyung is fooling around with this stuff, then there sure as hell won’t be a pay raise for me next week and Taehyung is gonna get his ass whipped.” Yoongi puffs his cheeks out in annoyance, and you cannot help but poke his cheek with your index finger, laughing when he smacks your hand away.

“I didn’t know Lieutenant Min grew soft over the years, now protecting Taetae from the big bad Bang,” you tease, lightly jabbing his cheek again, and he growls at you to stop.

“Okay, okay, fine, but let’s start looking around for the key then,” you sigh, tugging at the chain to pull Yoongi along with you and out of his office. The atmosphere in the station is unusually silent aside from light pen scratching or the occasional cough, while everyone is intently focusing on files laid out in front of them, heads bent down and suspiciously avoiding eye contact with the two of you. Taehyung and his partner, Jimin, are nowhere to be found.

“Yoongi! Eun Hee! Are you going out to interview the suspects now?” Hoseok approaches the two of you with a wider than usual grin. He fiddles around with the pen in his hand, fidgeting around a little as he looks anywhere but directly at you and Yoongi.

“Do you think we’d go out interrogating people with this?” Yoongi lifts up his chained wrist, yanking your arm up as well in the process. “They’d laugh in our faces.”

Hoseok winces. “So, uh, is this a bad time to ask you both to do doughnut duty? Tae usually does it, but he practically dragged Jimin towards the elevator to go do their patrolling after he ran out of your office. And seeing as you can’t really do anything else…”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Twenty minutes later, you and a very disgruntled Yoongi are walking out of the station, heading to the doughnut shop a few blocks down. The people passing by either stare at you two or avoid any eye contact entirely. You drag your feet as you are forced to follow behind the seething man in front of you. The chain clicks delicately between your two bodies, and Yoongi yanks it forward, you stumbling and your face almost becoming acquainted with the concrete beneath your feet. Shooting him a scathing glare as you now walk side by side, you rub your wrist where the metal chafes your skin before tugging the chain harshly, making Yoongi be the one to earn himself a near face plant this time around.

“I hate you.” He grumbles, aiming a well-placed look of annoyance at you.

“The feeling’s mutual.” You pause. “Why do you even have doughnut duty? You’re practically living proof of the most generic police stereotype.”

“Because doughnuts are god’s gift to humanity.” Yoongi glares at you before letting out a huff. “Why am I stuck with getting them like an errand boy anyway? I’m the fucking head of that department, and I have to get the goddamn doughnuts. This is what that rookie Jeon is for.”

“But you always eat the most doughnuts, don’t you?” You pause before giving him a sly smile. “Aren’t I right, Suga?”

Yoongi scowls at you, jerking the chain in retaliation and giving you another chance to familiarize yourself with the pavement. “Don’t call me that. You gave me the worst nickname ever, and even the instructors started calling me that.”

“At least your nickname matched with your doughnut obsession,” you retort. “Everyone kept calling me sweetheart a few days later, and I still don’t know why, like—”

“We’re here,” Yoongi abruptly interrupts, stopping in front of a quaint and cozy looking shop with glass windows allowing for you to see decorative displays and towers of doughnuts along with a glimpse of the interior. The powder blue and white striped awning overhead with the gold trimming is emblazoned with the word “Sprinkles” in neat cursive along with a simple doughnut silhouette.

Yoongi opens the door, and you hurriedly file in behind him, the door falling shut after you. With lights overhead that give off a soft, warm glow to the place, the interior is quite simple and bright with black and white checkered floors and white counters with pale blue spinning stools to sit on along with several matching tables and chairs. However, the prettiest, most eye-catching decorations of all are, without a doubt, the exquisite sugary sweets. The glass display cases exhibit immaculate, tantalizing doughnuts that have your mouth watering.

“You should wipe that drool off your chin,” Yoongi comments offhandedly, and your eyes widen as you hastily swipe your thumb over your bottom lip. “Wha—there is no drool, you asshole.”

Yoongi merely aims a half smirk your way before turning away from you as you begin to chew him out. He tilts his head upwards to scan through the menu written neatly on the chalkboard fashioned to the wall behind the counter. He can still see you from the corner of his eye, you being all puffed up and angry still, very much like a ruffled baby robin. Hiding the smile that threatens to make its appearance, he mutters, “Cute.”

“May I help you?” A girl around your age emerges from the back, carefully carrying out a freshly made tray of old fashioned glazed doughnuts. Wearing a light blue apron with the shop logo on the front, she smiles at you and Yoongi warmly as she maneuvers around behind the counter and skillfully transfers the treats into the glass display cases, artfully placing them on the waxed paper.

“One minute please,” Yoongi pleasantly answers, and you very poorly conceal your laugh with a cough. Min Yoongi being polite? You look out the window to see if pigs were flying outside.

After sliding the now empty tray beneath the counter, the girl pulls out four glazed doughnut holes and places them into a pyramid shape on a small, very pretty, blue, scallop and lace designed plate. Then, she sets it down in front of Yoongi and you.

“Take all the time you need! You can munch on those while you decide. Call if you need me. I’ll be in the back, getting more doughnuts.” She offers you two another cheerful grin, and you and Yoongi thank her as you each pick up one of the delicate sweets and pop it in your mouths. Closing your eyes, you almost moan at the taste when the fluffy and light pastry melts in your mouth, the sugary coating adding the perfect amount of sweetness to it.

“I need to come here more often,” you say aloud, and when Yoongi doesn’t reply with any sort of snarky remark, you look over to see him with a quite comical expression on his face. He had stuffed the remaining three doughnut holes into his mouth, resulting in having his cheeks puffed out very much akin to a certain woodland creature. You try to frown at him for eating more than his fair share of his sweets, but a laugh bubbles up from your throat as he looks at you innocently.

“You look like a chipmunk,” you tease him, gently prodding at his cheek with your finger, and he pouts at you, probably attempting to aim a few choice words at you, but being unable to do so with his mouth full. You chuckle, grinning mischievously, as you pull out your phone. “I should take a picture of you like this for the rest of the station to see, hmm?”

Yoongi yanks on the chain hard and glares at you scathingly. Laughter is heard, and the two of you drop your impromptu staredown when you see the doughnut shop owner smiling at the two of you. She offers an apologetic grin.

“You must be Yoongi and Eun Hee? When Tae came in earlier, he talked about you and something about handcuffs—” She gestures towards the connecting metal. “—and how he almost died or something like that.”

“That brat came here?”

The girl nods. “Yeah, he came in earlier than usual though and only ordered half a dozen sprinkled doughnuts this time. Do you want what he usually orders?”

“Yeah, that’d be great, thanks,” Yoongi answers, and the girl nods in acknowledgment before pulling out two simple blue boxes to begin placing the doughnuts inside. Yoongi lets out a long sigh before absentmindedly ruffling his hair with his hand. He tends to do that when he is stressed or thinking too hard about something, you mentally note.

“Here you go,” says the girl brightly, sliding the two filled and closed boxes towards you and Yoongi. “That’d be 22,600 won for two dozen please.”

Yoongi takes out his wallet, handing over the exact amount before pausing momentarily. “How much are the doughnut holes?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” The girl waves her hand dismissively and then gives you two a wink as Yoongi carries one box with his free hand and you cautiously balance the other box in yours. “It’s on the house for the cute couple.”

You both almost drop the boxes.

“W-wait, we’re not dating,” Yoongi stammers out, and you nod vigorously in agreement.

“Ah, really? I’m sorry, my mistake.” She smiles at you two sweetly. “Have a wonderful day!”

You and Yoongi stumble out of the shop, still somewhat bewildered and mortified. The usually stoic lieutenant is now blushing, and you imagine you are too with the way in which your face feels as if it is on fire. The walk back to the station is now enveloped by a weird, stifling tension; any sign of the familiar bantering between the two of you is now long gone.

“Can you believe she actually thought we were a couple?” you laugh nervously, trying to make up for the awkward silence.

“I know, right? Unbelievable.” He scoffs quietly, his cheeks still flaring up. He quickens his pace, and the tugging at your wrist forces you to try and keep up with the man.

“We’re both gonna end up with bruised wrists if you keep doing that,” you complain, sidestepping away from a man rushing past you. Yoongi halts in his steps, contemplating your words. Then, he reaches out and smoothly wraps his hand around yours, the cuffs no longer straining against your skin and the chain now hanging loose and not taut as it was moments ago. You stare at your interlocked fingers in disbelief. Yoongi tightens his grip on your hand before pulling you along to start walking again.

He swallows hard before saying stiffly, “There. Now, the handcuffs won’t bother you or me.”

You can only stare at him in utter shock for a few seconds before nodding wordlessly as you continue to make your way to the station. You squeeze his hand tightly as he maneuvers around a large crowd of people on the sidewalk, and to your surprise, you feel him silently doing the same, tugging you closer to him. Once the pair of you enter the station, no one comments on your still intertwined hands.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Two hours later, you find yourself still very much chained to one Lieutenant Min Yoongi with absolutely zero work done, no key in sight, and Taehyung still avoiding the station like the plague. You don’t really blame him. If you were at the top of the hit lists of two very experienced cops who can probably list off multiple variations of torture and murder, you would also be signing up for the Federal Witness Protection Program, packing your bags, and moving to the next country by the end of the day.

“I’m gonna strangle that boy when he gets back here,” growls Yoongi as the chain shakes and dangles pitifully between your hand and his.

“Careful. You don’t want to go down for first degree murder,” you mutter, flipping through the various stacks of files and papers Taehyung strewn across his desk for any glimpse of a shiny misplaced key.

“You’re right.” Yoongi pauses, taking a moment to glance over at you. “Should I try for second degree instead?”

“How about we change this topic to something more kid friendly?” Hoseok appears next to Yoongi, a nervous grin on his face. He pats Yoongi and you consolingly on the back when he looks down at the handcuffs still in place. “Or can you quiet down a bit?”

“Why? How about you try wearing these goddamn things that everyone keeps mistaking for BDSM kinky shit gone wrong?”

Hoseok pats Yoongi a little more forcefully on the back with a strained smile on his face as he hisses out his next words through clenched teeth. “There are small children in the room.”

“What?”

You sound so scandalized, and Yoongi has the decency to look somewhat ashamed when he turns around and sees sixteen pair of curious little eyes staring back at him in fascination. Of course, Yoongi groans, the local preschool was coming into the police station for a small field trip today, and he so very conveniently forgot.

“Um, mister,” a four-year-old pulls on Hoseok’s sleeve. “Why are they tied together? I thought only bad people wear that?”

Hoseok crouches down, pleasantly smiling at the young boy. “You’re right. They’re bad people who are on time out right now. Now, how about you go over to Officer Taehyung? You remember him, right? He and Officer Jimin came to visit you in your classroom before for career day. They’re both over there with some special treats for all of you.”

He points over to the far end of the room where Taehyung and Jimin, who had both returned to the station, set up a small table with sprinkled doughnuts and juice boxes. Taehyung looks a bit fidgety, his eyes darting from the two of you to the exit a few steps away from him, but he stays in his place. He and Jimin wave excitedly to the children, who immediately make a beeline towards them with overlapping choruses of “Officer Taetae!” and “Officer Chimchim!”

Hoseok positively beams before making his way over there, and you are sporting a similar grin on your face. Even Yoongi can’t hide the tiny smile when he sees two of his detectives almost knocked over by the tiny and cute bundles of energy that throw themselves into Taehyung and Jimin’s arms.

A tiny tug on Yoongi’s own arm has him peering down into the wide eyes of the very same four-year-old boy from before.

“Um, sir?”

“Yeah, kid?”

“What’s B… D… SM?

“… If I give you an extra doughnut, will you promise to never talk about that again?”

“Yes, sir.”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Lunch proved to be not as disastrous as you thought it would be. With timed coordination, you and Yoongi figured out how to eat your burgers without making a mess or losing any more money to the newly installed Swear Jar that Hoseok firmly planted on top of the file cabinets after one too many curses during the first hour of fruitless key searching. However, another problem makes its way to the surface. after Another three hours of hunting around for that goddamn piece of metal, you are unfortunately reminded of the consequences that inevitably comes with chugging a large drink of iced tea paired with your burger.

“Hey, Yoongi.”

“What?”

“I need to use the restroom.”

“What?”

“I said I need to use the restroom,” you repeat yourself, and Yoongi looks like a deer caught in the headlights, his usual stoic nature long gone. He can only stare at you, wide eyed and mouth agape, and you roll your eyes, dragging him in the direction of the bathrooms. “Are you really that surprised to find out that I, too, have normal body functions?”

Yoongi finally springs into action, pulling back his arm quickly and protesting, “Wait, but I can’t go in there!”

“Okay, should we go into the men’s room instead then?” You give him a deadpanned look, and he looks appalled. You start to make your way towards the men’s bathroom, and Yoongi yanks you back.

“You can’t go in there!”

“Well, make up your damn mind, or do you want me to pee in my pants?”

“No!”

No more than five minutes later, Yoongi finds himself standing in the women’s restroom, his face rivalling the sun. With one hand stretched into the stall and the other holding the stall door closed, he hands his head low and shuts his eyes, desperately willing all of this to be a dream. He tries to focus on the case instead, but the sound of liquid hitting the toilet just makes him want to curl up in a ball and die from humiliation. Finally, he hears the telltale crinkling of toilet paper and the flush that signals the end of his torture, and he can almost hear the salvation that is calling to him from just outside the bathroom door.

You open the stall door, and the two of you avoid any eye contact for the time being as you shuffle over to the sink and wash your hands. You wait for Yoongi to do the same, and then, you both walk towards the door. It suddenly flings open, and you are faced with two other officers, who look at you in surprise and then towards Yoongi.

“Oh! Um, I’m sorry to intrude,” one of them hastily apologizes, and they both back away. “I’m so sorry, Lieutenant Min and Sergeant Nam.”

“Wait! No, it’s okay! We weren’t doing anything!” You exclaim, your cheeks burning in mortification, but they already hurried off, most likely in search of another restroom. “Oh my god.”

Internally, Yoongi immensely agrees with your reaction. But externally, he merely glances over at you, a mixture of boredom and amusement painted on his face. “What’s the matter with you?”

“What’s the matter with me? What’s the matter with you?” you burst out, staring at him in disbelief. “They thought we had a bathroom quickie!”

“And? Did you wish it actually happened or something?” His mouth twists into a smirk. “Do you want to have sex with me, Sergeant Nam Eun Hee?”

You throw him a disgusted look. “Get your head out of the gutter. The only way you’d ever get laid is if you crawled up a chicken’s ass and waited.”

Cheeks still burning and head down, you quickly yank the bathroom door open and walk out, and the bane of your existence follows behind you with one of the smuggest looks you have ever seen. Wordlessly, he and you begin to search for the key again.

The bathroom incident is undoubtedly going to be filed away as the second most embarrassing moment in your life, you think and internally cringe. However, first place is still reserved for that time you got so unbelievably drunk at the academy’s graduation party and accepted Jennie’s dare, which ended up with you kissing a certain Min Yoongi. Of course, he never mentioned it to you after that night, so you are almost certain that he was also too incredibly intoxicated to remember, and for that, you are eternally grateful for the reliable powers of liquor.

You just wish the alcohol had worked for you, too.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

It is now almost five p.m., and Yoongi lost nearly half his wallet to the Swear Jar. He also lost three of his doughnuts to the same little kid earlier, and that did not put him in a good mood at all. The key is still nowhere to be found, and you are seriously debating whether to give up and put all the contents of your purse into that damn jar and let out your inner demon to show how you truly feel about this whole ordeal to Taehyung and probably almost the entire population of Seoul.

“So, uh, how about you two just call it a day and go home?”

Hoseok appears by your side once again nervously, wincing when you slam a file cabinet shut. Jungkook, who had walked down to perform his mundane duty of cleaning the case files, immediately turns around and scurries into the breakroom. The sound of the faucet being turned on is heard a few seconds later along with vigorous scrubbing. After entering and sensing the tense atmosphere, Namjoon, Jimin, and Taehyung make an immediate beeline towards the breakroom as well, and the sound of four officers enthusiastically washing the coffee mugs fills the air one moment later.

You sigh, looking up irritably. “I refuse to spend a night attached to this asshole.”

“The feeling’s mutual.” Yoongi scowls at you.

“Look, we’ll all look for the key for you. You both really should go home and rest after such an… eventful day.” Hoseok shifts uncomfortably in his spot, eyes darting back and forth from you to Yoongi. “Everyone is… a bit tense right now, so… you both should go home and relax.”

You and Yoongi stay silent, refusing to look at each other, as you debate over your options. Hoseok huffs in annoyance. “Look, we’ll call you if we find it, okay?”

“… Alright,” Yoongi begrudgingly agrees, and your head whips around to stare at him in disbelief.

“Are you serious?”

“We’re going to my apartment because I need to take care of Holly.” Yoongi completely ignores you, walking into his office to swipe the case file off his desk, and you are dragged behind him amidst protests. You quickly swipe your bag up, slinging it over your shoulder, before he pulls you out of his office again.

“Nope, you’re not taking this.” Hoseok swipes the papers from Yoongi’s grasp before ushering the two of you out of the station. “Seriously, go relax. Don’t think of work… or the handcuffs.”

“Well, how am I supposed not think of the thing that’s making my life a living hell?” Yoongi quips sarcastically, and you open your mouth to let out a retort, but Hoseok cuts you off quickly with an exasperated sigh.

“Just… play with your dog or watch a movie or do something that doesn’t require a lot of movement. And try not to kill each other.”

You give him a half-smile as Yoongi drags you out of the building. “No promises there.”

“And I’m taking your squad car, Hoseok!”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

After a ten minute argument of whether it’d be better to take the train—your usual and preferred mode of transportation—or Yoongi’s car, you find yourself struggling to climb over the car controls to get yourself comfortable in the passenger seat. Yoongi smoothly slides into the driver’s seat and lets out a huff of impatience, which lands him a solid kick in his thigh in retaliation as you finally crawl over the shifts and settle down.

Giving you a dirty look in which you return it tenfold, he starts the car and begins the drive to his apartment. You lean forward to flick on the radio, mildly surprised when an already inserted CD begins to play, but the rapping that comes forth from the speakers suits you enough that you relax back in your seat. Yoongi peers over at you tentatively, checking for your reaction, but you seem content, bobbing your head slightly to the music.

“Do you… do you like the song?” Yoongi inquires hesitantly, and you turn to him, a genuine smile on your face.

“Yeah, it’s really nice,” you comment, “I haven’t heard of it before though, so who’s the artist?”

“Me.”

“You’re joking.”

“Nope.” He glances over at you with a small smirk playing on his lips. “Surprised?”

“Mm, a bit.” You hum in response. “But it’s not that big of a surprise since I caught you rapping in the showers a lot.”

Yoongi’s eyes fly open, and he almost hits the brakes. “You heard?”

“Are you really that shocked? You were rapping in the communal bathrooms.”

“Yeah, but I thought no one else showers at three in the morning.” His face has taken on the palest hues of red, and you have to hide your smile, pretending not to notice.

“Well, I guess you learn something new every day.”

Avoiding all eye contact with you now, he keeps his line of sight directly on the road ahead of him. “… Do you really like my rapping though?”

“Wow, is the Lieutenant Min Yoongi actually fishing for compliments from me?”

“Shut up.”

The remainder of the drive is relatively quiet, aside from the music. You lean your head against the side of the car, gazing out the window and watching the buildings pass by in the blur, unaware of the silent glances as Yoongi’s eyes flit over to your still figure at every red light.

When he reaches the building, he pulls into an available parking spot before unbuckling his seatbelt. You wordlessly do the same, and Yoongi starts to get out of the car as you make your way over the car controls. Sliding onto the driver’s seat, you quickly tug at the handcuffs, causing Yoongi to look over at you. You smile faintly, slightly tilting your head to one side and color rising in your cheeks.

“Yes, Yoongi, I really, really do like your rapping.”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Yoongi unlocks the door to his apartment and steps into the darkened area with you on his heels. Closing the door behind you and kicking off your shoes, the clicking of paws against the hardwood floors is heard, and a brown, curly haired dog comes into view, bounding towards the man next to you. You are suddenly pulled down towards the floor, forced into an awkward crouch, when Yoongi drops to his knees, extending his arms out towards his dog.

“Holly!”

The dog bounds straight into Yoongi’s embrace, and your heart all but melts when you see the dog happily licking away at its owner’s face. Yoongi is grinning broadly now, laughing freely, and you find yourself smiling as well until the dog jumps over to you, catching you off guard as you fall back on your bottom with an “oomph!”

“He likes you,” Yoongi comments, amusedly watching his dog excitedly spring onto you.

“I’m glad. I like Holly, too,” you manage to say in between giggles as the dog continues to give you kisses all over your face. You laugh with delight, running your hand across the dog’s back, returning its affections wholeheartedly.

Yoongi quietly observes you happily playing with his dog with a small smile forming on his lips. With your hair loosely tied back, small wisps falling out, eyes scrunched up as peals of laughter bubble out from your naturally pink lips, he can’t help but think that you look absolutely beautiful in this very moment.

Hurriedly brushing away those thoughts with the lightest blush now on his cheeks, Yoongi clears his throat. “So, do you want to watch something on Netflix?”

Scooping up Holly in your arms, you look up at him, a cheeky smile quirking on your lips. “Are you asking me to Netflix and chill?”

“W-What?” he splutters, abruptly standing up in his haste and accidently yanking you up as well. “No, I just—”

You chuckle, walking over to his couch as he hopelessly follows behind and settles in the spot next to you. “I’m joking, Yoongi. What do you want to watch?”

“Oh.” He pauses, attempting to calm himself down, as his heart is still beating quite erratically from your small scare. “Criminal Minds?”

“Sounds good.”

The sounds from the television soon fill the air as the two of you quiet down and get caught up in the show playing on the screen. Holly settles down right between the two of you snugly, its head resting upon its paws and tail moving slightly before dropping down.

Yoongi silently marvels at how Derek Morgan can easily kick down any door. Last time he tried doing that, he was one hundred percent sure that he almost broke his foot. Granted, he was a new and very ambitious cop at the time, but that time marked the first and last time he would ever try breaking through solid oak.

Three episodes later, the growling sound of your empty stomach cuts through the air, and Yoongi raises an eyebrow at you, amused. Even Holly lifts its head up to investigate where the noise originated from.

“Um, I’ll go make dinner.”

You hastily stand up, pausing the show and forcing Yoongi to move from his comfortable position with a groan as he is dragged behind you. Wandering into his kitchen area, you open up the refrigerator where only a sad, half-filled carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and some coffee creamer rest on the shelves. Furrowing your eyebrows, you close the fridge before peering through his cupboards, seeing nothing but several bags of ground coffee beans and packs of ramen.

“How are you even alive? Is your body purely fueled by caffeine and MSG? Do you not know how to cook?” You stare at him in shock.

“I can cook,” he grumbles, shutting the wooden cabinets firmly before pulling you back over to the couch and plopping down with you following suit. “But I’m too tired to after getting home at midnight every night. Let’s just order pizza.”

Agreeing, you take out your cell phone and place an order. You inform Yoongi that the pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and stuffed crust will be coming in twenty minutes, and he nods silently in response. The comfortable ambiance settles once again after Yoongi unpauses the episode, and you relax back into the cushions as Holly comes and curls up in your lap.

Propping his elbow on the armrest as he leans his head onto his hand, Yoongi finds himself watching you out of the corner of his eye more often than not, his eyes wandering over to your figure no matter how hard he tries to focus them on the television screen in front of him. You are much more interesting and far prettier than Spencer Reid and listening to him explain the scientific accuracies in Star Trek. He smiles subconsciously when your eyebrows furrow in the slightest way as you are transfixed with the action filled scene playing out in front of you, mouth popping open in surprise and glimmering eyes wide in fascination with your long and dark eyelashes framing them prettily.

The abrupt knocking on the door startles you out of your trace, and Yoongi hastily averts his eyes when you look over towards him. Gently nudging Holly out of your lap, you stand up and Yoongi pauses the show, walking with you to the door.

“Wait, here.” Yoongi hurriedly pulls out his wallet and fumbles with it before pulling out a couple of bills and handing them to you.

“What?” You stare at the money in your hand, beginning to protest. “No, you already paid for the doughnuts and lunch. I’ll pay for th—”

“You can pay for doughnuts tomorrow then. Just get the pizza.” Yoongi unlocks the door and swings it open, hidden from view behind the door. You stand in the doorway, startled, and then lean against the door, your left hand holding it steady. A very attractive delivery man smiles at you pleasantly, holding out the cardboard box towards you.

“One pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and stuffed crust for the beautiful lady?”

Yoongi has a very strong urge to punch pizza boy’s face repeatedly.

You ignore the poorly disguised scoff from the scowling man behind the door and laugh quietly, smiling shyly back at the man. “Yes, thank you. Here’s the money.”

The man hands you the box before taking the money, and you almost drop it after failing to balance it in one hand, and he quickly helps you to steady it.

“Woah, there. Precious cargo.” He winks at you, and your face immediately feels hot as another giggle bubbles from your throat, and Yoongi sees red.

Suddenly, the door is pulled back farther, and you almost fall over, shoulder bumping into Yoongi’s chest. The blush on your cheeks darken when Yoongi wraps his hand around yours, jangling the handcuffs obnoxiously and causing the man to look down, his eyes widening.

“You know, sweetheart, I don’t know if pizza will work for the food play you’ve been begging me to do. I’m already having a hard time keeping up with the police roleplay and BDSM you wanted,” Yoongi loudly announces, and you freeze, your face now rivalling an oven.

The delivery man’s face pales considerably before he begins to back away. “U-Uh, okay, enjoy the pizza and have a good day!”

“No, wait, that wasn’t—!” Darkening shades of cerise appear on your face as you desperately try to explain the situation, but the man is already retreating further and further away, speed walking until he enters the elevator and hastily closes the door. Whirling around on your heel, you jab your finger into Yoongi’s chest harshly.

“What the fuck was that for, Min Yoongi?”

“I, um…”

Because I was jealous.

Because I’m the only one who should make you smile like that.

Because I want to be the only one who makes you laugh.

“Because I was hungry and I wanted some pizza, but you were taking too long,” he lamely replies.

“You’re an asshole.”

You roll your eyes with a scoff, making your way over to the couch again and dropping the box onto the coffee table. Yoongi silently takes a seat next to you as you pull out a slice of pizza for yourself before he takes one as well. You angrily hit the button to unpause the show, refusing to look over at the man next to you for the remainder of the episode.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Let’s get this straight. Brushing your teeth attached to him was fine, and so was washing your face. Going to the bathroom was embarrassing, but you can deal with that. Hell, even wearing a pair of Yoongi’s sweatpants in exchange for your uncomfortable fitted uniform pants was fine with you. But sleeping in the same bed with the man who is the sole cause of the biggest headache you have had to endure?

That is where you draw the line.

Literally.

By using several pillows.

“Okay, so you stay on your side, and I stay on mine, and we can survive the night without killing each other.”

“Agreed.”

You and Yoongi stand at the end of his bed, staring at the lumpy mound hidden under the comforter that the two of you had created straight down the center of the mattress. Carefully, you both crawl onto the bed, making sure to move your handcuffed arms at the same time to avoid any accidental face plants if someone jerks their hand at the wrong time. The both of you safely make it under the covers, your linked arms lying limply on top of the pillow barrier and blanket.

“Good night, Yoongi.”

You close your eyes, hoping that sleep will overtake you soon. He doesn’t answer, and you assume he is already knocked out cold. You bite back a smile. He never did really have a problem with falling asleep quickly; you remember how he accidentally drifted off during one too many times at the stakeouts during training. Of course, he always denied it whenever you had to shake him awake, claiming to be merely resting his eyes for a second.

When Yoongi finally hears your breaths even out as you are soon enraptured in dreams and make-believe, he softly mumbles:

“Good night, sweetheart.”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

When you wake up, you find yourself sprawled across one very much knocked out Min Yoongi. While he currently has as much consciousness as a boulder, you soon realize that his chest makes a good substitute for a pillow and hidden beneath his shirt are some really nice abs. And you immediately become extremely mortified when you comprehend that you can confirm the existence of his abs because your hand had somehow slipped under his shirt during the night and you were pretty much feeling him up.

With your heart nearly thudding out of your chest, you hastily pull your hand out and carefully place it next to his head on the pillow in order to steadily raise yourself out of the compromising position. But from your vantage point, you are able to see how handsome Yoongi really is: his dark eyelashes flutter against his rosy cheeks as he is still somewhere in dreamland, the crease between his eyebrows now gone, small puffs of breath leaving between his pink lips, how soft and smooth his skin is. Absolutely mesmerized, you dare to reach out and gently brush back the stray, silky, soft strands of his hair out of his face, a small smile peeking out on your lips.

And then, you realize how completely embarrassing it would be if Yoongi woke up and saw you, so you quickly retract your hand. Out of the corner of your eye, you finally notice the numbers on the digital clock on his nightstand.

It reads 9:27 a.m.

Well, that must be a mistake. You blink twice, but the same numbers glare back at you.

“Shoot,” you mumble, panic rising inside of you, as your eyes dart around the room. You have never been late to work before, and you would bet a dozen sugared doughnuts that Yoongi hasn’t either.

Wistfully, you gaze back down at the peacefully sleeping Yoongi with one last gentle smile. And then, you reach out and harshly flick Yoongi’s forehead.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty!”

Yoongi reacts immediately, his eyes opening in an instant and squinting at you. His morning voice comes out rather rough, slightly slurred, and deeper than usual, and you have to chastise yourself for almost swooning.

“What the fuck, Eun Hee?”

“Get up! It’s 9:27! We’re late for work!”

At your words, his eyes widen, and his head turns to take a glimpse of the clock before a stream of obscene words that you dare not to repeat leaves his mouth. He sits up immediately, forcing you to sit up as well before dragging you out of bed and into the bathroom where the two of you haphazardly go through your morning routines, swiping your toothbrushes over your teeth quickly and dragging your fingers through your hair in an attempt to comb it. At this point, neither of you even bat an eyelash when the other needs to use the toilet, too preoccupied with finishing as rapidly as possible to get down to the station.

The two of you make a mad dash to the front door where you start to put on your shoes when you make a startling discovery.

“Yoongi, our pants—”

Yoongi looks down and curses beneath his breath when he realizes you both are in pajama pants, and you both sprint back to the bedroom. He grabs the pants, throwing your pair at you as you quickly stripped out of the borrowed sweatpants and pull on your uniform pants, frowning a little when it feels looser than usual but there’s no time to dwell on fashion mishaps. Yoongi quickly changes, and you two dash out the door with a rushed shout of goodbye to Holly. After learning from yesterday’s first try, you skillfully maneuver your way over the car controls and land safely in your seat as Yoongi slides into the driver’s seat, starting up the car and immediately pressing down on the gas pedal.

“You might want to turn on the sirens… You’re passing Jin’s patrol area, and I wouldn’t put it past him to let you go without a speeding ticket with the way you’re driving,” you comment, and Yoongi glances over at you, contemplating your words for a few seconds before flipping on the flashing lights and blaring alarm.

Yoongi’s automobile essentially flies over the asphalt at the speed he is going, and cars move out of his way in an instant whether it be due to the sirens or avoiding an untimely fate of becoming a flat metal pancake on the road. In record time, Yoongi messily parks the car in front of the station, and you scramble to get out of the car before he yanks your arm out of its socket. He hurriedly rushes up the steps as you follow behind him, safely making it into the building in one piece.

Tapping his foot impatiently as he jabs at the button for the third floor, Yoongi shifts around uncomfortably, mumbling, “I didn’t even eat any doughnuts yet. Why are my pants so fucking tight?”

The elevator doors slide open with a quiet ding, and you and Yoongi stride into the main room. Almost immediately, everyone’s eyes are focused on the two of you: some in amazement that last night didn’t end with a 911 call about either one of you getting mauled by the other and others in amusement that you both are still handcuffed to each other.

And one particular pair of eyes seemed to be trailed on the backside of Min Yoongi as Taehyung walks by and does a double take before winking exaggeratedly, “Wow, boss, you’re gonna give the jibooty a run for its money. Have you been doing squats secretly or something?”

“Tae!” Jimin, who is definitely carrying the brunt of the secondhand embarrassment as well as the seething terror emitted by his new boss, runs up and throws his hand over his partner’s mouth before dragging him away.

After throwing Taehyung a scathing look, Yoongi scans the room until he sees Hoseok and then proceeds to pull you over towards his partner. Hoseok, bearing a very guilty look, fiddles timidly with his badge before greeting Yoongi and you nervously.

“H-Hey, Eun Hee… Yoongi.”

“Did any of you manage to find the key yet?” Yoongi speaks up.

“Um, well, you see… no. We didn’t. But we’ll keep looking now!” Hoseok beams another smile at Yoongi. “And uh, Tae is right. Your behind is looking very… shapely in those pants today.”

“Hoseok.”

“Yeah?”

“For the love of doughnuts, please don’t ever compliment my butt again.”

“Duly noted.”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Taehyung had resumed his doughtnut duty today, and a fresh box of old fashion glazed doughnuts has been placed neatly in the center of Yoongi’s desk. After having a quick breakfast consisting of the sugary, fried sweets and the station’s watered down coffee, you and Yoongi resume your search around the station for the misplaced key with the help of several officers.

After almost fifteen minutes have passed, Yoongi glances over and notices that you are no longer looking for the key, but rather—

“Now isn’t the time to be ogling my ass, Sergeant .” Yoongi smirks, and you scowl at him, yet a telltale rosy dusting is already coming upon your cheeks.

“For your information, I was trying to see if you’re actually wearing my pants, asshole.” You narrow your eyes at him, and he seems to deflate a bit as his own cheeks turn red. “We probably mixed them up this morning while we were freaking out about being late because the ones I’m wearing are a little loose.”

“Well, I didn’t know you two were in the borrowing clothes stage of the relationship already.” Taehyung sidles up between the two of you, slinging his arms over your shoulder and Yoongi’s. Simultaneously, he gets a dirty look from either side of him, but he merely deflects it with an easy going grin. “How’s my favorite couple doing?”

“We’re not a couple,” you correct him sharply, slamming the drawer you were sorting through a little too angrily, and making both men next to you wince. “We are two very angry adults stuck together, like little kids doing the three leg race, except we can’t take off this damn thing that’s connecting us because of some ridiculous dare orchestrated by, oh, who was it again? Oh right, you!”

The detective visibly flinches before retreating, hastily saying, “Okay, well, I’ll come back later.”

“Taehyung, you better sleep with one eye open for as long as I have this goddamn metal wrapped around my wrist. And you better get your last will and testimony in check.”

“Okay, you know what? I thought the free pizza for a month would be worth it, but I’m sorry, boss, my life is more important. I have so much to live for, especially since I haven’t even confessed to the love of my life who’s waiting for me in the doughnut shop right now, so good bye! I’m cashing in one of my emergency vacation break days now!”

With that, Taehyung dashes out of the room and repeatedly hits the down button of the elevator. But you turn to Yoongi, eyebrows raised. “What is he apologizing to you for, Yoongi? Did you tell him to do this?”

“I, uh, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Yoongi stammers out, and your forehead wrinkles in apprehension as you eye him suspiciously.

His eyes avert away from yours and momentarily land on a spot somewhere near the front pocket of your pants. Following his gaze downwards, you notice the ring of eyes attached to the belt loop, temporarily confused.

But these are Yoongi’s pants and those are his keys, you realize with a jolt, and one of those keys could be—

“You’d have the master key to all the handcuffs as lieutenant, wouldn’t you?”

“What? No—wait! No, what are you doing?! They’re not on there!” Yoongi desperately reaches out for the keys, but you are quicker, snapping them off of the loop and holding them away from him. Your eyes scan over the keys, looking for a small one that would fit your handcuffs. Bingo.

You nimbly insert the key into your side of the handcuffs and the silver metal falls away from your wrist easily. You gently rub at the sore, reddened imprint of the ring slightly before tossing the keys towards Yoongi with a bit more force than necessary along with a glare. Everyone in the room is silent, staring at the two of you in mingled shock and dread. The both of you are ticking bombs when together, and you are the one who finally explodes, quiet words slicing the tension.

“If you really hated me that much and wanted to stop me from working on your case, you could’ve just filed a report instead of doing something as stupid and inconsiderate as this.”

Tears of anger start to well up in your eyes, and you blink rapidly, brushing them away, as you turn away from Yoongi. Frozen momentarily, he snaps out of it, struggling to quickly take off his end of the handcuffs before reaching out towards you as his fingers curl around your wrist.

“No, wait, Eun Hee, fuck, I—”

“Am I some kind of joke to you? I know you hate me, but I thought you could at least respect me as your co-worker,” you spit out, wrenching your arm out of his grasp with a scathing look.

“No, I—fuck, you’re completely wrong. It’s the complete opposite of that, I don’t—god, you got this all wrong,” Yoongi exclaims desperately.

“Then explain it to me.” You curl your hands into tightly clenched fists, fingernails leaving crescent shaped markings in your palm as you try to control your emotions. “If I’m so wrong, then tell me the right answer.”

“I—”

His mouth opens and close, no words forming and no explanation to be found. Finally, he averts his eyes from yours as crimson blossoms on his cheeks, mouth now clamped shut, and you let out a disappointed sigh before shaking your head and walking away again.

“I’m in fucking love with you, okay?”

You pause in your steps, and you can feel his stare burning a hole through the back of your head. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you turn on your heel and face him once more hesitantly.

“I just, fuck,” He runs his hand through his hair in frustration as he closes his eyes and finally lets it all out, putting his heart on the line.

“I had the biggest fucking crush on you ever since the first day of the academy and you completely destroyed everyone in every class. You were so focused on acing everything, and I thought the only way you’d actually notice me was if I worked harder, too. And it worked, didn’t it? Maybe not to the degree I was hoping for, but you finally noticed me after my name topped yours on the grades list.”

Yoongi laughs humorlessly, finally meeting your eyes. “That was the only way I could get your attention because I was too chicken to ask you out. And that time, you kissed me drunk, and I was on fucking cloud nine and thanked my lucky stars that I was completely sober when you did that. But you never said anything about it the next day, so I kept my mouth shut, too, because I figured it was just a drunk mistake. And shit, I still have the most embarrassing crush on you now after all those years, and I was desperate enough to let Taehyung interfere, but it just backfired, and I look like the biggest fucking idiot now because I made you hate me even more.”

He lets out a deep breath, and his confession now hangs bare in the still air. Your heart is thumping faster than ever, and your mind is going haywire as realization finally hits you, and you almost laugh out of relief before you compose yourself, stating seriously:

“Lieutenant Min Yoongi, you really are the biggest fucking idiot.”

Yoongi exhales, looking away from you. “I know.”

“But I’m in fucking love with you, too.”

Yoongi’s head snaps up to stare at you in surprise, and you smile at him tenderly. His eyes flit over your face, searching for any signs of mirth or mockery but he finds none. Biting his bottom lip and swallowing hard, he asks nervously, “Do you really mean it?”

Taking several steps towards him and closing in the distance between you and him, you are centimeters away from the man before you whisper quietly, “Yes, I really, really mean it.”

Yoongi’s heart palpitates erratically, and he finds that he has a very hard time breathing when—

“Just kiss her, you idiot!” Hoseok’s voice is heard as he loudly whispers from the breakroom.

Laughing softly, you tilt your head up towards him, and he looks back at you, a questioning expression on his face. You nod almost imperceptibly before he gently cups his hands under your chin and presses his lips against you. Your hands softly land on his chest as your fingers grasp onto the front of his shirt lightly. Your heart beats furiously against your ribcage, and you can feel his lips curl into a smile as he kisses you, and you kiss him back.

“And ten dollars to the Swear Jar!”

You and Yoongi don’t get to witness Hoseok’s appalled expression, but you definitely hear the indignant, horrified shriek from the man when the two of you simultaneously give him the middle finger salute.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

“Do you want to know why everyone started calling you ‘sweetheart’?”

Yoongi idly asks, absentmindedly stirring his coffee as he sits across from you in Sprinkles. The two of you often visit the doughnut shop together, one of your and his joint favorite date stops. Popping one of the doughnut holes into your mouth, you nod, looking at him with interest.

“Do you remember Hoseok being the first one who called you that?”

“Yeah.” You can recall the memory in detail. “I was startled when he greeted me with that pet name, and all the other cadets started calling me that, too, and he wouldn’t tell me why no matter how many times I bugged him about it.”

“It was because he knew I liked you.” Yoongi’s cheeks flare up as he finally admits, and you grin, reaching out to poke them, but he swats your hand away embarrassedly. “You called me Suga, and well, Suga stands for sugar, which is sweet… and Hoseok decided to make fun of me by giving you a ridiculous nickname that stood for my huge ass crush for you—essentially something about you being my heart and sugar sweet or some corny shit like that.”

“That’s really corny, but also cute as hell, oh my god.” You can’t hide the wide smile that slides onto your face, and he merely groans, dragging his hand over his face.

“It’s so embarrassing, I—”

Clunk.

You both look down to see that something had fallen out of Yoongi’s pocket.

A familiar pair of handcuffs glint back up at you in the light.

“… Why do you still have those?”

“Well, I was thinking about later how we can…” His lips curve into a devilish, suggestive smirk as he trails off from the end of his sentence before your eyes widen in realization.

“Oh my fucking god, Yoongi.”