#Parliament Premises

[txttletale]

obviously the "can't make an electoral victory omelette without abusing some trans children, them's the breaks" routine would be ghoulish and evil even if its central premise were true but for someone who's so smug about his ability to be a Realistic Reasonable Moderate that fucking guy is just absolutely wrong. transphobia doesn't win elections and uk voters don't give a shit about transphobic cultural war shit compared to basically any other issue. furthermore even if transphobia really was an electoral silver bullet for kill-em-all keir, he wouldn't need it. the conservative party are underwater and profoundly hated by the electorate after the last decade of disastrous government. fucking anybody could win the upcoming election, it's an open goal against an unpopular government that even their own voters are trepidatious about continuing to support . the leader of the labour party could be a balloon with a smiley face drawn on and still have a chance. & again even if none of this were true it would still be a deeply cruel and ghoulish opinion to hold -- but it is so fucking pathetic to be so obsessed with a masturbatory self image of Knowing About Parliament to the point of justifying signing off on borderline exterminationist rhetoric and then just being flatly wrong about electoral politics.

[thekatebridgerton]

Today on Bridgerton aus I'm too sleep deprived to write: Serial killer Prison Break au

Kilmartin high security prison, the place where evil goes to die. Has 6 highly dangerous individuals that are contained in unknown cells deep underground under strict supervision. 6 killers who happened to form the scariest family of domestic threats that ever plagued the British Isles.

Anthony, mastermind infiltrator terrorist, once held 5 international world leaders hostage in the parliament until they capitulated to his wishes. Benedict, genius artist, leader of the largest art counterfeit ring in the nation, Colin, charming butcher, brutal serial killer, (number of victims, still unknown). Daphne, high profile Jewel thief, rumored to still have the crown jewels somewhere in her possession. Eloise, prolific arms dealer and explosive weaponry engineer, (victim number still unknown) and Francesca, biotechnology scientist, responsible for the latest biological threat that quarantined the nation and surrounding areas.

It took a collaboration between all known and unknown security and law enforcement agencies to take them down but finally they were caught and buried in Kilmartin... That is, until they broke out, in what had to be the most horrible prison break of the century.

Authorities reviewed the footage from all that went down in the prison in the day and weeks preceding the incident and narrowed down the list of suspicious individuals, among them, several whom were taken as hostages.

First is detective Kate Sharma, the cutthroat officer who is in charge of tracking down the state secrets Anthony stole from the parliament and has a grudge against him for setting her sister up as a scapegoat when he committed that crime. Next, is Doctor Sophia Beckett, the struggling prison doctor who was forcefully made to take care of Benedict after several prison fights left him repeatedly wounded. Penelope Featherington, the journalist is also on the list of suspects as her investigative visits to Colin ( and subsequent articles about his killings) fell way too close to the dates where Colin would act out and get put in solitary. Then there is Simon Hastings, the business Tycoon whose visits to his death-row father got suspiciously more frequent after Daphne was moved to the cell next to his. Phillip Crane was almost dismissed as a suspect, being that he was attending a guided tour trough the safer parts of Kilmartin when the prison break happened, if not for the fact that Eloise used to have a strange flower arranging hobby, and the greenhouse Phillip owned happened to be her main supplier of plants. Finally, the least likely of suspects, Michael Stirling, director of the prison, retired army veteran, who ran Kilmartin like a tight ship, so much that only one guard noticed how he was giving Francesca more privileges for good behavior than he gave other inmates.

Out of these suspects, Phillip, Sophie and Michael were kidnapped and are still in the group of hostages taken by the Bridgertons as insurance. Simon, Penelope and Kate, were not on the premises that day, but had in fact visited in different days the week before. The question that law enforcement is asking is: which one of these suspects was the accomplice who set the criminals free, and which ones were simply innocent victims caught in the crossfire.

Ps: Violet Bridgerton, safely absconded in her private island in the Caribbean with her two teenager children (and the entirety of the fortune, weapons and international secrets amassed by her older ones) would also like to know as well... She wants to have grandbabies you see, and whoever aided and abetted that prison break might be her only chance at them.

Your turn dear reader, who do you think did it?

[probablyasocialecologist]

Disabled people’s own accounts, as well as reports of employers, prove that Deaf and disabled people were an intrinsic part of the textile workforce. In addition, evidence collected as part of investigations on behalf of the Government into conditions in textile mills show high levels of industrial injuries amongst workers. Accidents from machinery, constant loud noise and the effects of working in unventilated premises led to large numbers of workers becoming disabled as a consequence of work. Some people’s injuries meant that they were no longer able to work, and many did unfortunately end up in the workhouse. However, many other disabled people stayed in work – through sheer necessity, to meet the demands of the industry, or simply because they were able to. My research puts disabled people at the centre of the history of industrialisation, rather than pushing them to the margins. It challenges some widely-held stereotypes of disabled people and shows that they were (and continue to be) part of the world of work. Not dependent, not tragic, not inspirational – but reliable colleagues, friends and family members. Disabled people were involved in Britain’s leading industry during the nineteenth century: textile production. They also played their part in improving working conditions in the textile factories at the height of industrialisation. For instance, the 1832 parliamentary committee to investigate factory conditions, chaired by Leeds Member of Parliament Michael Sadler, followed by the Government’s Factories Inquiry Commission of 1833, finally gave disabled workers the chance to speak up. Giving evidence meant that they were not merely victims of industrialisation, but that they were contributing to the movement for reform and the struggle for better working conditions. The resulting reports ultimately led to legislation which reduced working hours, set up factory inspections and made further improvements to the workplace.

[...]

Because of the noise, weavers in the textile factories gradually became expert lip readers. This was a necessity rather than a choice – the weaving sheds were such noisy places that a combination of lip-reading and hand-signing was the only way to communicate. Lip-reading was more than just a practical form of communication for the weavers – it was a badge of honour. It showed that you were used to manual work, no matter that you were now deaf, and set you apart from the mills’ office workers and management.

[tessa-liam]

Marabelle - 14 -

Lovers in a Dangerous Time - 14 -

Choices – The Royal Romance, AU – (cross-over with Rules of Engagement)

Series Premise – An American teenager from New York City is introduced to the world of a small European country and its society of royalty, nobility, and commoners. How will her life story be transformed? Will this new adventure bring her happiness...or regret?

Marabelle Series Masterlist, My Complete Masterlist

Main Pairing – Crown Prince Liam Rys x F!OC Lady Sophia (Sophie) Taylor

Other Pairings – Maxwell Beaumont x M!OC Daniel (from NYC), Drake Walker x F!OC Melanie Smithson

Most characters belong to Pixelberry Studios

Series Rating – M*🔞Warnings: this series will have NSFW material, drinking, crude language & innuendo.

Not Beta’d - Please excuse all errors.

Category – Alternate universe/on-going series/angst/fluff/cross-over with Choices Rules of Engagement

Words: 3434

Chapter Summary – It’s graduation night for Maxwell and along with Sophie and Daniel, they attend the festivities with family and friends at the University of Cordonia in the capital. Tasked with a diplomatic opportunity, Liam flies to Rome for a summit with Francesco and officials of the Italian parliament.

Music & Title Inspiration: Lovers in a Dangerous Time, Bare Naked Ladies, Ben Grosse

A/N1: Bethany Beaumont, Maxwell’s mother, is originally from the U.S. and is Barthelemy Beaumont’s second wife. Annabelle Beaumont (deceased) is Bertrand’s mother.

A/N2: ‘Social Season’ in this AU series refers to a traditional period in the spring/summer for royalty and members of the court to take part in Balls, dinner parties and charity events.

A/N3: Heartfelt thanks to @Selina012 for joining me in writing ideas and with dialogue for this chapter.

en route to Rome, Italy

Seated behind his computer screen, Liam scrolled through the files his advisors had given him earlier in the day. It was late into the evening and the plane was quiet. Drake was asleep in his chair, snoring softly, and Bastien was seated nearby, his eyes trained on his book. Rashad, standing for the crown’s legal counsel, was reviewing the proposals that would be discussed and implemented if agreed upon.

The only sound came from the occasional beep of the computer's keyboard as Liam entered the codes that would allow him to access the secure files. Sitting back, he began to read through and analyze the information. After an hour or so had passed by, Liam stopped to acknowledge the flight attendant who set down a late snack and two fingers of scotch.

After taking a sip, he turned to his head guard.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," Liam said quietly as he closed the laptop and set it aside.

"Of course not, sir," Bastien said. "What's on your mind?"

"I just had an interesting chat with a source. There have been rumors circulating in Cordonia that the 'Sons of the Earth' are organizing. The Sons have been out of power since the last time they rose up to oppose the monarchy over a decade ago.”

"They were never a real threat," Bastien stated, his tone confident.

"My source tells me that a new leader has risen within their ranks, someone who is very charismatic, and able to sway the others with his message. I am concerned, Bastien. The Sons were always an extreme faction, and they could prove dangerous if allowed to regain power."

"You want me to find out more about them?"

"Yes," Liam nodded. "And be discreet. If it turns out that this new leader has no real power, we can put this behind us. But if there's any threat or danger, we need to be ahead of it."

"Of course, sir. I will situate agents immediately."

"Thank you, Bastien." Liam's expression grew pensive as he turned back to open the computer. "There is something else."

"Sir?"

"This source tells me that the Sons' leader has taken a particular interest in a member of the nobility. It is believed that the noblewoman is being used to gain support among the other houses.”

"Which noblewoman?"

"Duchess Adelaide Amaranth," Liam answered, his gaze hardening. "According to the information I have, factions have been allowed to situate in Krona."

"You want me to investigate her involvement, as well."

"I'd like you to bring her in and question her, yes. And I want a full investigation into her financial records. See if you can uncover any ties between her and the Sons."

"Consider it done, sir."

Liam loved the power and responsibility of his role as the crown prince. He thrived on the challenges and opportunities it provided, and was excited for the day he would take the throne as king.

With his advisor's files securely tucked away, Liam leaned back in his chair, a slight smile on his lips. He was confident in his ability to lead Cordonia into a brighter future, and he knew that with his team of advisors, he would be successful.

He had never felt so ready for the challenges ahead, and he couldn't wait to take his place as Cordonia's leader. He glanced at his ring, the royal seal engraved on it and smiled.

Liam knew he was doing the right thing. He was prepared and would not let his country down. He would protect it, care for it, and ensure that it remained prosperous and safe for generations to come.

He thought back to his father, and the legacy he would leave behind. Liam knew that his father had been a good king, and he hoped to emulate him as much as possible. He hoped that he would live up to the standard his father had set.

But more than anything, he was looking forward to starting a life with Sophie. Their relationship was a secret for now to many, but he knew that their time would come. He had been thinking about their future together a lot lately, and he had an idea of what he wanted to do.

University of Cordonia, student dorms, Candace’s suite

Sophie stood in front of the mirror, helping Candy fix the accessories in her hair. "Candy, you look amazing, and you will definitely be the center of attention at the party tonight."

Candy, who was wearing a long purple dress, smiled and turned to take a satisfied look at her makeup. "Thanks Sophie! I picked this dress out especially for the grad, and Tom will be there, too. It's the first time we've ever been to a formal event like this together."

Sophie smiled with a hint of envy. "It's nice, you two look so good together. Speaking of which, Tom is your third boyfriend at Uni, right? You are always so popular with the guys."

Candy winked mischievously and patted Sophie on the shoulder. "Oh, Soph, don't say that. I'm just looking for the one who really belongs to me."

"Maybe, Candy," Sophie said, shaking her head. "I guess I just haven't met anyone yet. I am just fussy and hard to please," she grinned.

"...and you're almost a graduate. Why don't you even try to get a boyfriend? Maybe you're expecting too much of your future boyfriend, too."

Sophie laughed and waved her hand in front of her. Her relationship with Liam was still ‘under wraps’ with only family and Daniel knowing the truth. "No, it's not that. I have had some bad luck with dating in the past. And besides, I have other priorities."

Candy raised her eyebrows. "Other priorities?"

"Like finishing my education and starting my career." Sophie shrugged.

"Sophie, you know that's not enough to keep a man happy," Candy teased.

Candy's cell phone rang. She picked it up and saw that it was Tom. Candy suddenly smiled with joy, picked up the phone in front of Sophia and began to talk to Tom endlessly.

Sophie's sighed and went out on the balcony alone. The sky was now dark, and the stars dotted the night sky. The cool evening breeze touched her face and soothed her heart. As she looked around, the campus was enveloped in a colorful glow. The trees and buildings were decorated with all kinds of colorful lights and decorations. The celebration of the end of the school year filled every corner.

She picked up her phone and sent Liam a quick text and snapshot of the view from the balcony, her fingers jumping across the screen, and finally pressed send. But as the minutes ticked by Liam's response was slower to arrive than usual.

Sophie's eyes flashed a hint of loss, and she put the phone down slowly. She took a few deep breaths and recalled that Liam had said the previous night that he was going on a four-day business trip to Italy with his advisors. Perhaps he is now busy meeting with the Italian politicians. In a few days they'd see each other again, she put her phone into her clutch and smiled.

Just then the balcony door was pushed open. Candy, with a glow of happiness on her face walked quickly out onto the balcony and said excitedly, "Tom is waiting downstairs, we must go. Are you ready?" Sophie nodded and smiled at Candy, happy for her. "I'm ready, let's go."

Outside the building, a young man with a bouquet of flowers stood by the roadside waiting. Upon seeing Candy, he spread his arms in joy and the two embraced followed by a passionate kiss. Sophie looked at their sweet exchange, with both blessing and faint envy in her heart. But she quickly recovered her mood and followed them on to their way to the auditorium.

U. of C. Auditorium

As they stepped inside, the grandeur of the space overwhelmed Sophie. The walls were lined with intricately carved stonework and the ceilings were adorned with ornate frescoes depicting the history of Cordonia.

The stage was set at the far end of the hall, with a large, curved platform flanked by rows of velvet chairs.

The room was filled with the sounds of conversation and laughter, as hundreds of students and their families gathered for the event.

"There you are!" Maxwell exclaimed, as Sophie approached the group. "We were starting to wonder if you were going to miss the ceremony."

Sophie grinned. "No way. I wouldn't miss this for anything."

She reached out to give Maxwell a hug and was surprised to find that he was wearing a tuxedo. "I see you decided to dress up for the occasion," she said, amused.

"Yeah, mom insisted!"

Maxwell gestured to Daniel, who was dressed similarly in a tailored suit, his hair combed neatly. "Squirrel!" Daniel shouted as Bertrand and her uncle Barthelemy looked on in dismay.

***

As the graduation ceremony ended, the excitement in the auditorium grew as the lights dimmed, signaling the start of the post formal festivities.

The sound of the band started, and everyone's eyes were drawn to the stage behind the dance floor.

Above the dance floor the ceiling was covered with gold tassels and twinkling crystal lights which complemented the colorful balloons and streamers surrounding the parquet floor.

A spotlight illuminated the space where a young man stood in a white tuxedo, a microphone in his hand.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen," he began, his voice ringing out through the hall. "I am your host for this evening, and it is my great pleasure to welcome you all here to celebrate the graduating class of 2024."

There was a smattering of applause from the crowd. The host grinned. "It's time for the graduates to strut their stuff on the dance floor. Will all the students please take their places for the first dance."

Sophie laughed as she watched Maxwell and Daniel sashay arm in arm to the center.

Aunt Bethany gently tapped her shoulder. “Dear, your uncle, Bertrand, Sav and I are heading home. Have fun tonight.” Kissing her aunt’s cheek, Sophie turned her attention back to the dance.

“You guys can go dance then and I'll walk around.” Sophia smiled as she told Candy and Tom motioning towards the dance floor. Despite feeling a little lonely inside she wanted to give them some space to be alone.

“Okay, see you later Soph!” Candy and Tom smiled at each other and walked arm and arm into the dancing crowd. Looking at their backs Sophie took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Memories of her first dance with Liam flooded her thoughts, seeming to have just happened yesterday. What would happen if you were by your side tonight, Liam? Maybe he would gently take her hand and ask her to dance with him or maybe they would sneak out of the room and find a quiet corner to enjoy some alone time and sweet solitude. Sophie moved through the crowd alone, occasionally greeting acquaintances, but more often she just quietly observed everything and everyone around her.

That is when the mood at the party suddenly turned eerie. The lights began to flicker and then the whole venue was plunged into darkness. The sounds of people began to cry out as they looked for their companions. What is the matter - is there a power outage? Sophie mumbled to herself as she was about to take out her phone for light. But that was forgotten as she heard gunfire in the distance, which instantly destroyed all the peace and beauty of the evening.

“It's a shooting!” A frightened voice broke through the darkness as people started running and screaming wildly. Sophie's heart raced as she pressed against a wall trying to find a safe refuge as the emergency lights clicked on. Out of nowhere, Sophie felt a stinging pain on her cheek and forehead. She touched it with her hand and blood smeared on her fingertips having been cut in the face by shards of flying glass. Being surrounded by a chaotic crowd and the sounds of more gunfire, Sophie never felt more terrified and helpless than ever before.

Sophie looked through the flickering lights and saw strange figures flash through the window. Each of them was dressed in black and wore a black mask showing only their cold eyes. What was even more bizarre was the emblem on their chests. Each had been embroidered with a strange pattern. A picture of the earth with a baby was intertwined. It was unclear and strange who or what this referenced. Sophie took out her phone to film them but then another shot rang out close by which made her jump. In a panic the crowd rushed in her direction and in chaos her phone was flipped out of her hands by a fleeing person which flew several meters slamming into to the ground.

Regardless of the panic she felt at the moment, Sophie quickly took advantage of a few people moving out of her way to run and pick up her phone and placed it into her pocket, the screen smashed. The sound of her name being called brought Sophie's mind back to reality. She turned her head and saw that Tom had been shot in the shoulder in the confusion and his blood was red on the floor and down the front of his suit jacket. Candy was also cut in the arm by flying shrapnel and in pain, huddled on the ground beside Tom.

Sophie, ignoring the pain on her face, struggled to rush to them and used her whole-body strength to help the two people up amid all the chaos and despair. She found a glimmer of strength in the fear she felt for her friend and the thought of Liam. Grabbing a table napkin, recalling the first aid she had learned during her Girl Scouts years, she made emergency bandages for both of them. as she bandaged, she looked around from time to time looking for possible escape routes, but the smoke and the fire blurred her vision, and every step was full of unknown and danger.

Candy knelt down beside Tom and held him tight ignoring the pain on her arm. Her voice crying was pain and heartache Tom's face was pale as paper, but his eyes still flashed with the will to live. “Candy, sweetie ...” Tom struggled to lift his wounded hand and gently wiped the tears from Candy’s face and forced a smile, although his own gunshot wound to the shoulder had nearly knocked him unconscious.

“We have to get out of here, quick.” Sophie had just finished patching up Tom's shoulder and stood up. “Let's go that way ... there seems to be an exit.” She said pointing to a looming door not far away. Candy dried her tears, and she nodded. Together they supported Tom, struggling through confusion and fear, Sophie leads them through the sea of fire and debris.

Rome, Italy

A sleek, black limousine drove through the city, navigating the busy streets until it arrived at a five-star hotel located in the historical centre.

Liam sat inside the spacious interior, his gaze fixed out the window as the scenery rushed past them. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Sophie, her face, her smile. The memory of the softness of her skin, the gentle curves of her body beneath his touch. He was anxiously waiting for her response to his text.

He was going through the days events of the first day of his official business meetings he had today. It was a very productive and busy day of meetings with the prime minister of Italy, the minister for economy, the mayor of Rome and others to discuss international issues, economic growth and cultural exchanges between Cordonia and Italy.

But there was a part of him that wasn't fully focused on the job at hand. His initial plan for this Italian trip was to formally propose, to show his family and country that their future Queen was the most important person in his life.

He remembered seeing the display of jewelry at the Cartier store, he had a ring, a symbol of their commitment picked out for her. Now, inside his suit jacket, that diamond ring was nestled safely next to his heart.

Liam started to become tense and anxious that he didn't hear anything from Sophie.

Rashad watched from the other side of the vehicle with concern. He cleared his throat and broke the silence. "You alright, my boy?" He asked softly.

Liam shook his head and forced a half-hearted laugh. "Sorry...I've got a lot of things on my mind right now."

"Yes," Rashad replied. "A lot of big decisions on the horizon. So how'd today go, if I may ask? I wasn't there at the meeting of the prime minister. How was it?"

Liam straightened his posture and raised his chin.

"I think it went very well. I gave a very encouraging speech and I was able to make him agree with our position about our partnership between the two nations. That should help open more trade deals and increase exports to other countries, maybe even beyond the EU, like China or the UAE."

Rashad nodded proudly. "Excellent."

The two men continued their discussion as the limo wound its way through the city towards the luxury hotel. After a short drive, the vehicle drew up to the entrance.

Drake smiled at the luxury accommodation and turned to Liam. "And the hotel you're staying in is The Ritz, right?"

Liam raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"This is where I'm staying for the duration of the trip, but I did the preliminary negotiating with them before we left so my entourage could get the penthouse floor. But first, my friend," Liam chided playfully, "I have to make a statement for diplomacy purposes."

Liam emerged from the limo as the reporters and press begin flashing their cameras as paparazzi called out for his attention.

'Ecco qui, Nostrand alternative!'

["Over here, Your Highness!" ]

"Your Highness, do you have any comments for the press?"

"Can you tell us what the plans are for the Cordonian delegation while in the city?"

Liam looked at the cameras and responded.

'Il mio governo attende con ansia i nostri dibattiti su come promuovere la crescita economica e le opportunita per i nostri Paesi, affinche tutti i nostri cittadini possano.'

["My government looks forward to our discussions about promoting economic growth and opportunities for our countries, so that everyone in our citizens can prosper and enjoy the benefits of progress." ]

The gathered journalists cheered, and a member of the concierge team opened the door and led Liam, Rashad, Drake and Bastien into the opulent interior of the building.

Before entering the elevator, Liam paused and turned to Bastien. "i need you to locate Lady Sophia. I have been unable to contact her since leaving Cordonia."

"Right away, sir."

Thanks for reading; please let me know if you would like to be added or removed from this series.

📌perma tags: @bascmve01 @busywoman @kristinamae093 @differenttyphoonwerewolf @kingliam2019 @ao719 @alj4890 @emkay512 @karahalloway @twinkleallnight @malblk21 @tinkie1973 @queenmiarys @emersyn-in-cordonia @dutifullynuttywitch @charlotteg234 @lovingchoices14 @kyra75 @imjusthereforliam

📌 @selina012 @ @choicesficwriterscreations @irisk12 @walkerdrakewalker @delmissesryanandcassi @mom2000aggie @queen-arabella-of-cordonia @cadybear420 @thosehallowedhalls @moravel @prettyboisteveharrington @imashybish @jared2612

[scotianostra]

Ooh, what’s Edinburgh like? Moving there next year hopefully, from Africa, and after a few quick trips I can’t say I’ve gotten too much of a sense of the city :(

I'm kinda biased, but it's a good place, quite small and easy to get around, the main bus serice is Lothian Buses, for a flat fare of £2 you can get from ato b on one bus, for £5 cash you can hop on and off, the best value is paying by debit card , what they call TapTapCap from as little as £4.80 per day and £22 per week, so if you are one 3 or more buses in one day it caps at £4.80, and £22 is the most you will pay fr a week. The bus service is very good and I use their bustracker, find it on Google Play "My Bus Edinburgh" The vast majority of Museums and Art Galleries are free, only charges tend to be if there are special exhibitions, like The National Museum of Scotland had a Doctor Who exhibition last year. There are two main train stations, Waverley and Haymarket, and several small ones and stops.

Most people don't realise that Edinburgh and the surrounding areas have some great beaches, Portobello is the best in the city, ad has plenty of places to eat and drink at there. Cramond Beachis a mecca for dog walkers, there is a Causeway there where you can explore Cramond Island, just watch the tide times. There are plenty of parks and green spaces, the city is officially the greenest city in the UK, with almost half the city (49.2%) being classed as 'green space'.

If you are relatively fit there are plenty hills to climb to get great views, some are very easy, Calton Hill, Corstorphine to name but two. Arthur's Seat offers different routes to the summit of varying difficulty, but you can actually drive so far up and just make the easy climb to the top, there are three man made "Lochs" around Arthur's Seat, if you're lucky you will see Otters at Dunsapie, Duddingston and St Margarets have plenty swas and ducks. For more serious walkers the Pentland Hills are a great place to explore, there is even a herd of oor Highland "Hairy Coos" up there. If you can ski, there is a dryslope on The Pentlands, the longest in the UK.

Pubs and clubs are a plenty, I have no idea of your age as you have decided to remain anon, but many places cater for students, prices vary, I pay between £2 and £4 for my drinks, although the touristy places will charge you up to twice this amount, over £6 for a drink is not unusual.

Of course we have the Festival, well there are several throughout the year, Edinburgh gets the tag of Festival City at times. The main one is in August and the population of Edinburgh is said to double in the time, licensed premises are automatically given an extension to their opening hours, some open to 5 in the morning.

It's a safe city  with a low crime rate, but as with other places you have to be aware of your own safety. If you plan on taking in the paid attractions The Castle wil set you back about £20, as will The Palace of Holyrood House. Opposite the Palace is The Scottish Parliament, you can visit thisfor free and sit in while it is in session. If you are planning on venturing around Scotland and like your history I recommend a membership of Historic Scotland, again I don't know your age, but prices start at under £3 a month and are less than a fiver for adults over 24. National Trust of Scotland also offer meberships from £3.35 to £5.80.

Can't really think of much more to put for now, perhaps my followers can make suggestions, or ask questions?

Oh and pack your umbrella get a waterproof jacket, even in summer we can get some heavy showers, naturally you will be aware it can get cold as well, invest in a decent winter jacket and layers to keep warm.

I hope this has been helpful.

[highpriestessofchildsacrifice]

So u know how queen charlotte miniseries invented new forms of racism and imperialism

Well I propose that QC's insane premise - that regency parliament wants to desegregate society via interracial arranged royal marriage - should simply happen again in Benedict and Eloise's joint season, but this time for LGBT people. Thusly Queen Charlotte informs Benedict and all the girlies in the ton that whoever makes the greatest homosexual match will be named the ton's sexy little pearl

Obviously everyone is like ???? No we will not be doing this lol. Charlotte's gay servant is really bitchy and funny about it

Ultimately eloise accidentally wins despite her best efforts to avoid talks of marriage and to bury herself in correspondence w marina ever since Philip died (bey vc do u feel me...). Queen Charlotte thinks it's really beautiful for Eloise to share her money w her bisexual lover who is a widow with two kids and sort of tricked her family that one time. Mskskss

Benedict is also avoiding all of this stuff bc it's making him very nervous. He goes to the big masquerade ball where there are some openly gay people, all under the protection of the queen's forboding presence, but in general the vibes suck. Ppl r gawking, the gay people seem upset, everyone is just like 😐. Then this beautiful person descends down the stairs in a mask and gown. Beautiful genderfluid bastard commoner child Sophie. Ben thinks Sophie is just some chick. They have a crazy meet cute followed by meet-again-ugly. Cue the rest of the season I'm tired of typing.

God what an amazing adaptation I just put together. Everyone wins. Love wins. I win

[the-tropes-are-hungry]

what's your au about?

:D!!!

**IF** i can write it and not drop the story, then it's full title is "Estrangement of Lords" or Estrangement AU. Think "murder of crows" or "Parliament of owls" and ignore that the proper collective noun for a group of nobles is a court.

The basic premise is that the showdown with TOWW causes the Lamb to have a mental break, and they spare Narinder only to immediately imprison him. Narinder simultaneously "wakes up" from the last two thousand years as the Red Crown's host and realizes many things about himself, his siblings, his past, and his choices that make him go "my bad, actually." I would like Narilamb to happen, but it's going to be very messy and bad until they get their power dynamic sorted, leading tooooo Leshy, the actual MC of this story. He's just a worm, doing worm things, and those things include committing genocide, cultivating devotion for himself, and being killed by a little crooked-horned goat thing. He offers more perspective on Narinder's past behavior as well as lots of empty canvas for the metaphysics and divine questions the Mystic Seller hints at. "Do not mistake deep waters for still" was such a metal quote.

Worm boy is also significantly lighter on the heart than Lamb or Narinder, which is good for me because I can't handle 70k of solid angst and abuse anymore. I need an MC who can get in a fist fight with a squirrel and lose, but who was also once a god and king in his own right with his own emotions to process post-resurrection.

[darkmaga-retard]

Peter Halligan

Sep 02, 2024

The Labour Party in the UK “won” the general election on 4 July 2024 by maintaining its share of a very low 60% turnout, whilst support for the ruling Tory government collapsed. The Labour party has a super majority in the UK Parliament, whilst representing a super minority of the electorate. It had been in opposition for 14 years and only a handful of MPs have had any experience in government.

This has not stopped the Labour party from embarking on an agenda that will accelerate the UK’s path to turd world status based on the  false premise of “net zero” targets,  equality of outcome rather than of opportunity and the censorship of ideas, thoughts and expression using the jackboot of a police force and justice system that applies a two-tier justices system, based on sectarianism/racial characteristics competing with the indigenous, mostly religiously apathetic, population.

A week ago, I posted this:

(100) Ahead of a “brutal budget” to be announced in a few weeks, the UK’s Labour government offers a free hot line for “millions” of Brits with mental health problems – by dialling 111 (substack.com)

Which had this extract from here:

 The budget deficit: a short guide - House of Commons Library (parliament.uk)

“In the financial year 2023/24, government revenue – from taxes and other receipts – was £1,095 billion (£1.1 trillion) while government spending was £1,216 billion (£1.2 trillion). The deficit was therefore £121 billion, equivalent to 4.4% of GDP. At 4.4% of GDP, the deficit was the UK’s eighteenth largest since 1948.”

Note the 121-billion-pound deficit, note also that the UK has national debt of around 3 trillion pounds already.

[coochiequeens]

For all those who compare sex work to working minimum wage jobs explain how if a customer is repeatedly a problem the customer can be banned from the premises yet pimps can now whine to the government if a woman refuses sex more than 10 times in 6 months.

A new law in Belgium celebrated by activists for providing a “labour contract” to prostitutes will also enable their pimps to punish them with a government mediator if they refuse sex more than 10 times in a six-month period. The Belgian Parliament voted for the law on May 3, with 93 in favor, zero opposed, and 33 abstentions.  

The legislation is being touted as a win by UTSOPI, the Belgium Union of Sex Workers, which had lobbied extensively for the legislation. The law outlines that prostitutes will receive health insurance, a pension, maternity and holiday leave, and unemployment benefits. Their pimps will be forced to provide them with a “safety button” to use for emergencies.

Their website claims that the law “is a historic step in the battle for sex workers’ rights” and will create a “respectful, fair relationship” between prostitutes and their pimps, with UTSOPI spokesperson Daan Bauwens telling media that he believes “Belgium is really demonstrating that it aims to protect sex workers, regardless of any moral judgements about the profession people may have.”

Prostitutes are to be granted “rights” to refuse sexual acts, stop sexual acts, perform sexual acts in the manner they prefer, and refuse to sit behind Amsterdam-style windows (public facing windows where prostitutes are on display). However, should a prostitute use these “rights” 10 times within six months, their pimp can then call on a government mediator to intervene.

All pimps must have a registered office and apply to the Belgian government for approval to offer contracts to prostitutes. The contracts will be disguised as hotel-restaurant-café (HoReCa) contracts so that prostitutes can remain anonymous.

Andrea Heinz, a prostitution abolition advocate, called out the new legislation on X (formerly Twitter).

“There is little chance this will (actually) favour women. Under legalization/full decrim, pimps become ‘managers’ with the backing of the state to further entrench and maintain their power. Pimps see women they sell as products, not people deserving of full dignity & respect.”

Outside the realm of so-called “sex work” activism, social media users have expressed horror at the new law.

“So the [government] helps pimps to coerce sex, what a disgusting idea,” posted X user @Bob16747466.

[kingarthurflourofficial]

july books

starter villain 3.5/5 (i do love! a john scalzi. his books feel so much like coming home even when i'm not hugely intrigued by the premise - he's an author you can trust to have a satisfying if weird ending)

cyber mage DNF (i love saad z hossain's other books - just think his style of writing is a little better suited to his novellas)

kundo wakes up 3.5/5 (see above! i love the world of his novellas a LOT and i think this was my fave yet.)

the parliament 3/5 (great concept! some really good moments! just didn't really click with me and i didn't like the main couple or think they made a good pairing)

hitchhikers guide to the galaxy 3.5/5 (by contrast, much more fun a re-read of this vs castle in the air - i felt a lot more competent at picking up on the nuance and satire vs when i read This at fifteen lol)

running close to the wind 4.5/5 (WHAT A FUN BOOK! only quibble was how much it felt like fanfiction like - in a fun way for sure! just very much like we were reading a couple we already knew the framework for so the author felt comfortable jumping right into the action and i could have used a little more time with worldbuilding)

the duke at hazard 5/5 (AHHHHHHHHHHHH NEW KJC AHHHH AND IT'S A GORGEOUS HOMAGE TO HEYER'S THE FOUNDLING! what a soft and enfolding work it is it's only been a couple weeks since i read it and already i want to be back in that world!)

the house of the red balconies 5/5 (talking of soft and comforting works! this was my introduction to aj demas and please know i immediately stayed up until four am reading three more of her books.)

sword dance 4/5 (loveeee a secret agent using his skills as a dancer to go undercover! love a disabled soldier loving them and seeing them as a whole person and vice versa!)

saffron alley 5/5 (OUGHHHHH now this is a MASTERCLASS in how you do miscommunication. not a plot device not a gimmick but something showing characters' inner lives and struggles and growth!)

strong wine 4/5 (not enough of the Boukos family but otherwise lives up to the promise of the first two)

kill the farmboy DNF (has the AUDACIty to say it's an homage to terry pratchett. i wouldn't let terry pratchett piss within a hundred yards of this book because it would be too good for it.)

soulless 3/5 (doesn't take itself too seriously! if it had been a little more queer i think i would have like it more and as it was the sexy scenes weren't too awful for a straight couple, but then i'm a sucker for a werewolf)

a botanical daughter 2/5 (INFURIATING. how dare it have a gorgeous premise of two insane gay victorian men creating themselves a daughter from taxidermy and mushrooms and fail at the premise so badly i WANTED the daughter to go feral and murder them all)

prospects 3/5 (i'm not trying to be rude and i had a pretty good time reading this but my gods and little fishes there was SO. much. baseball. {shocking in this sports novel about baseball})

evenings and weekends 2/5 (maybe i am just. very much not the target audience for this kind of book but i hateeeeee books were people are just wandering around lying to each other and themselves and generally being dicks. like what's the point! also not helped by my hating london and the hottest days of summer which is arguably the main character here.)

box hill 4.5/5 (okay listen. listen. i know everyone and their aunt has to have perfect morals these days and write the stoplight system into all their fanfiction they write for fun and therefore even moreso for published works but DAMN. i loved this book! it made me feel FERAL like! is it a portrayal of a healthy relationship? absolutely not. sustainable? no way. does it seep into your bones with a kind of aching longing for something formless and deep and heavy? Y E S. it does exactly what it sets out to do and i simultaneously want to force everyone i know to read it and also hug it to myself and snarl when people try lest they read it the wrong way.)

[beardedmrbean]

"Highly confidential" documents obtained by BBC Persian outline how Iran's government is trying to crack down on women who do not wear a hijab.

Two documents from April and May reveal the judiciary could set up "mobile courts" in public places like shopping malls to punish dress code violations.

They also show schoolgirls could face action by the education ministry and that celebrities could be jailed for up to 10 years for "promoting corruption".

Iran's government has not commented.

However, an Iranian newspaper that published a short section of one of the directives has been charged with publishing classified documents.

And some of the directives were included in the controversial "Hijab and Chastity Bill" that is currently being reviewed by the Guardian Council watchdog before becoming law.

Iran's parliament passed the bill in September - a year after protests erupted over the death in custody of Mahsa Amini, a 22-year-old woman who was detained by morality police for allegedly not wearing her hijab properly.

Women burnt their headscarves or waved them in the air at the demonstrations against clerical rule, during which hundreds of people were reportedly killed in a brutal crackdown by security forces.

Although the unrest has subsided, a growing number of women and girls have stopped covering their hair in public altogether in open acts of defiance.

According to the leaked documents, Interior Minister Ahmad Vahidi approved a series of directives aimed at coordinating action by the government and other entities to address the issue of women not covering their hair in public - several months before parliament began debating the hijab bill in secret.

Security services - including the Islamic Revolution Guard Corps (IRGC) intelligence service, the ministry of intelligence, and the Security Police - were granted extensive powers to implement those directives, they show.

Some of the directives state that:

Police should "prepare the necessary documentation regarding schoolgirls who unveil" so that appropriate action can be taken through the education ministry

Celebrities, influencers and bloggers who do not cover their hair, or who "encourage unveiling" on social media, should face the charge of "promoting corruption", which is punishable by up to 10 years in prison. Officers will also be able to enter their homes and seize their computers and mobile phones

Officers can seal or shut down without permission any shops or other businesses not comply with the hijab regulations, and that any customers who violate them should be denied services, forced to leave, or handed over to the judiciary

Cafes considered "corrupting centres" because of the role they played in last year's protests should be shut down, particularly those near schools and universities

Officers are authorised to initiate legal proceedings against women who resist warnings to cover their hair on charges including "promoting corruption"

There is a need for a national database of "motorcycle number plate bank" so those carrying female drivers or passengers with uncovered hair can be identified

Monitoring should be increased of companies whose employees "violate dress codes provocatively and immodestly during entry, exit, and within the premises"

A significant portion of the directives in the leaked documents have already been implemented, including setting up hijab enforcement units inside metro stations and other public spaces; impounding cars that transport unveiled women; denying services to women violating the dress code; and closing cafes.

According to the documents, the police force is required to assign a sufficient number of officers to "identify and warn women who have unveiled themselves", and that in areas where there is sufficient manpower IRGC personnel will help carry out the task.

In the past few months Iranians have noticed the presence of hijab enforcers at metro stations across the capital, Tehran.

The interior ministry and Tehran municipality have described them as "self-motivated forces that do not require a licence for their activities".

But the documents show that their presence is the result of a government decision, which has required planning and the allocation of resources.

The documents also emphasise the importance of "extensively filming and documenting the identity of those involved in unveiling", and indicate that hijab enforcers filming women and girls are affiliated to the security services.

[tieflingkisser]

Israeli parliament passes law paving the way for Al Jazeera closure

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu promises to use new law to shutter local operations of Al Jazeera.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has promised to “act immediately to stop” Al Jazeera’s operations in the country after the Israeli parliament approved a law that grants senior ministers powers to shut down foreign news networks deemed a security risk. “Al Jazeera harmed Israel’s security, actively participated in the October 7 massacre, and incited against Israeli soldiers,” Netanyahu wrote on X on Monday. “I intend to act immediately in accordance with the new law to stop the channel’s activity,” he said. The Qatar-based network rejected what it described as “slanderous accusations” and accused Netanyahu of “incitement”. “Al Jazeera holds the Israeli Prime Minister responsible for the safety of its staff and Network premises around the world, following his incitement and this false accusation in a disgraceful manner,” it said in a statement. “Al Jazeera reiterates that such slanderous accusations will not deter us from continuing our bold and professional coverage, and reserves the right to pursue every legal step.” Netanyahu has long sought to shutter broadcasts from the Qatar-based media outlet, alleging anti-Israel bias. The law, which passed in a 71-10 vote in the Knesset, gives the prime minister and communications minister the authority to order the closure of foreign networks operating in Israel and confiscate their equipment if it is believed they pose “harm to the state’s security”.

[keep reading]

[sarahhillips]

Hey I’m Toasted Watching Libertys Kids. Here are my comments

Boston Tea Party

First I’m so happy that every episode is available on YouTube! That makes things so much easier.

The theme song has NO RIGHT to hit this hard. Why isn’t this our national anthem? 🥹

For real though, the premise of this show overall has potential for an Outlander quality show for us big kids.

The opening montage? Cinema.

Walter Cronkite as Ben Franklin is A+ casting because his name ends in kite.

I love how Sarah’s so calm even though she’s trapped in a stormy ship. Maybe it’s because she’s hyper focused when she’s writing. I was on a cruise once and panicked when the ship got to swayey for me.

I love how Sarah adores her father. Leaving London for a new land unsupervised as a teenage girl sounds wild.

Moses is done with James already

Moses doesn’t end up having kids because he basically already had kids and said that’s enough for me.

“It’s addressed to Moses! You look like James!”😆 He’s so cute.

THAT TRANSITION

Omg it’s the beer guy. Beer overthrew tea.

It’s pretty hardcore that they have a picture of the redcoats murdering them hanging on the tavern wall.

Imagine walking out to the deck of a ship to see strange and unfamiliar land. Also where is the captain??? Why is she the only person on the ship when they break in to it?

The sons of liberty look like they’re going to coachella.

“Mom? How did you and dad meet?” “I hit him with a pillow stuffed with books and insulted his grammar.”

When she cute but conservative af

“You’re Sarah Phillips!?”

“Dr. Franklin sent YOU?”

Why didn’t Moses go below deck first?

Bro straight up tore her locket off on purpose. He always wanted to do that to a woman.

Moses calling them big ugly hogs 😂😂

If James and Henri stink that bad, poor Sarah must have been suffocating under that blanket.

Omg Sarah we don’t just ask people if they’re slaves.

Ok real talk though, how many of you have been to an African American history museum with a slave ship hallway? Because that was horrific.

Phylis Wheatley should have written the Declaration, not Jefferson.

Sarah dropping the mic more than Hamilton tbh

Sarahs doing pretty well for a rich girl sleeping in a barn for the first time

Bro that is not sanity, throw that fish away

Look at all the wigs!

OMG you guys the tea party is totes Bens fault. Ben looks so done with them.

The Intolerable Acts

Dear mom, this is not the airbnb that I wanted

“English Henri!” “I’m counting the English!”

WIGS! WIGS!?

Ben literally said suck my dick at Parliament.

James not noticing the redcoats in the barn for five minutes

The redcoats act like Karens.

Sarah don’t have time for your shit James

That captain is such a piece of shit. Henris backstory is lowkey fucked up.

I’d like to have more of a backstory on James’ parents.

*heavenly music*

He just put Sarah on the spot like that and she outwitted him beautifully.

When a man gives you his outerwear, he’s at your service forever.

Dear mom I’m finally in the right airbnb

Bro just straight up gave up his ring so she could have a locket omg 🥺

[emmersreads]

Emma by Jane Austen | 2.5/5

I have been sitting on this negative review of Emma for over a year so pls pretend I am charmingly tortured by my mixed feelings for this beloved classic rather than just a little hater.

I decided to read Emma because the Austen girlies are unstoppable. Every day I wake up for my twelve hour shift in the content mines of tumblr.fuck (for the purpose of this sentence we are both grizzled elderly men sitting on a porch just go with it) and find another post about how Jane Austen is the best thing since before sliced bread. Eat your heart out Shakespeare; if only you’d done all your plays about falling in love. These posts are a bit of a mindfuck for me because as much as I love a costume drama, Austen’s actual novels have always been underwhelming. One of my best friends is an Austen girlie. She loves the things. I dunno man, these books do not spark joy. But maybe I was just young dumb and a hater. Emma (2020) is my favourite Austen movie, so when I decided to reinvestigate the author I thought I’d start there.

The movie is better than the book. Shocked gasps; questions asked at parliament.

Emma (2020) is a great adaptation in part because it’s well positioned to keep the best parts of the book. My favourite part of the novel was the dialogue, which the film is able to lift often ad verbatim (“Mother, you simply must sample the tart!”). The patter of conversation is excellent and Austen’s sense of humor comes across just as effectively on the page as it does when spoken aloud. To this the visual medium can add the incredible set design, including the beautiful Regency wallpapers, Emma’s many jackets and little hats, Anya Taylor Joy’s eyes that look like they’re exes trying awkwardly to avoid each other in the grocery store, Johnny Flynn as Mr. Knightley having a romantic tantrum so intense he has to take his pants off and lie on the floor. Relatable. These elements couldn’t be in the book even if Ms. Austen had wanted to describe Mr. Knightley’s buttock-baring emotion.

Unfortunately that paragraph has been my way of damning with faint praise. The inverse proposition of an adaptation that adds a lot of things I liked is the source material without much to like about it. This is a bit of a misrepresentation. I found most of the book to be funny and enjoyable in much the same vein of the movie: a gorgeously decorated vanilla sponge cake. I just hated the ending so much it retroactively ruined all 500 previous pages.

I don’t begrudge Ms. Austen’s choice to hew to the Georgian standards of propriety (hence no ass shots), but this is a safe space for us to admit that those standards have not all aged particularly well, or particularly sexily. I feel like I’ve been infected with terminal bookstagram brainworms. I also don’t want to be here arguing that a book published two hundred years ago is too old-fashioned for me. But at the same time so much of the narrative about Austen is a revisionist history of how all her work was secretly not only meaningful (this is true, Austen’s work is about capturing the atmosphere and concerns of a particular social milieu, which she does effectively; it’s not less worthy of capture because it’s a space exclusive to women), but progressive.

People love Austen. They love romance and they love period drama. They don’t love when that genre is criticized for being dated or regressive. I understand that people do not read these books for the 21st century social commentary or the politics. And I understand that a 21st century moral critique is ahistorical and in poor faith. Trust me, I feel the ‘just let people have fun’ brigade hanging over my head like the sword of fucking Damocles.

But here’s the thing folks, my largely pretty enjoyable read of Emma was soured by just that: important parts of it are dated and regressive and it ruined my day.

The premise of Emma is that the titular protagonist is a rich and witty young woman intent on meddling in the romantic lives of others, at their expense. At the conclusion of the film, Emma realizes she has behaved badly to her lower class friend Harriet by leading Harriet to overlook the farmer Robert Martin (Harriet’s social equal) in order to pursue the richer Mr. Erlton (her social superior). Emma apologizes to Harriet and tells her to reconsider her feelings for Robert Martin, which turn out to be genuine. Finally, when Harriet discovers that her father is a lower class merchant rather than a secret aristocrat, Emma says she will welcome Harriet into Hartfield anyway. It indicates that Emma has outgrown her judgemental nature and preoccupation with appropriate matches to see Harriet as a friend in spite of her being Emma’s social inferior. And they all live happily ever after.

In the novel, this resolution takes much much longer. Emma’s flaw is not that she toyed with her friend’s emotions to arrange a match that amused her, but that she encouraged Harriet to have uppity opinions and to seek to rise above her station. The story resolves with Emma and Harriet returning to their proper social classes, Emma with Mr. Knightley and Harriet with Robert Martin. Emma and Mr. Knightley commiserate over how foolish Emma was to befriend Harriet and how unpleasant Harriet has become now that she is a social climber, and Harriet is revealed to have been naturally ungrateful and grasping and unworthy of a young lady such as Emma’s friendship.

I’m not going to waste my time on whether this sort of thing was just as bad then as it is now or whether it was simple a different time. Austen’s writing is a reflection of genuinely (though not universally) held societal beliefs and she’s not going to rise from the grave to change it now. It is, however, a deeply unpleasant ending. Emma’s problem isn’t that she toys with the people around her for entertainment, but that she doesn’t participate appropriately in the class system. Technically both of these are about becoming more self-reflective and more thoughtful of others, but the devil is in the details. It’s hard to enjoy that as the conclusion to a romantic comedy. I don’t come to Austen for a window into the uncomfortable realities of the past, or really any particular connection to the past. I’m here for the fluffy romance.

Part of the reason talking about not enjoying Austen because of these novels’ dated elements is so frustrating is that the common narrative about Austen is super revisionist. Austen has endured a lot of lumps and I do think it’s stupid to claim that she was a poor writer and was incapable of writing incisive social commentary just because she was a woman writing about the recency woman’s interests and concerns. I also think it’s reductive to claim that the social dynamics of Austen’s world often get misinterpreted due to the modern reflex to see every society preceding our own as nasty, brutish, and short. But this isn’t a critique of Austen, this is a critique of reading Austen in 2023. It’s not just about hating to see a grilboss winning.

On the other hand, why do I feel like I’m trying to placate the ‘just let people enjoy things’ brigade again?

One of the most frustrating things about being generally a romance disliker is the climate of toxic positivity that surrounds any genre that is more about having fun than any ostensibly higher purposes. There is a sense that since the audience of these genres is primarily women and they are often targeted by bad faith misogynistic criticisms, that any criticism of them is inherently misogynistic. I’ve been tying myself up in knots because my observation is that a book from 1815 has some nineteenth century ass ideas about class. This should be self-evident. ‘Just enjoying things’ in not actually my goal when reading, and ‘just letting people enjoy things’ isn’t my goal as a critic either.

Here’s the rub: Emma is a fun and sweet romantic comedy with some of the English language’s best dialogue until the conclusion reminds us that there hasn’t ever been a romantic utopia with the sexy historical codes of practise but not the bad ones. Romance in Austen’s time was a function of the class system, not separate from it. And I don’t know, maybe I’m the patron saint of it really being that deep, but I had a hard time seeing the lighthearted romance in that.

[scotianostra]

15th January 1923 saw the birth of the wonderfully eccentric and very funny Ivor Cutler.

Born Isadore Cutler in Govan, Glasgow, into a middle-class Jewish family of Eastern European descent. His father Jack Moris Cutler was a wholesale jeweller and had premises at 85 Queen Street. He cited his childhood as the source of his artistic temperament, recalling a sense of displacement when his younger brother was born: "Without that I would not have been so screwed up as I am, and therefore not as creative." And creative he was!

Ivor was educated at the Shawlands Academy.[4] In 1939 Cutler was evacuated to Annan. He joined the Royal Air Force as a navigator in 1942 but was soon grounded for "dreaminess", apparently more interested in looking at the clouds from the cockpit window than locating a flight path, and worked as a storeman. After the war he studied at Glasgow School of Art and became a schoolteacher.

Working at a school in Paisley, however, did not agree with Cutler. He hated discipline that required the strap, having received it more than 200 times himself, and in a dramatic gesture took the instrument from his desk, cut it into pieces and dispensed them to the class.

Leaving Scotland was, he claimed, "the beginning of my life". He settled in London for a time teaching music, dance, drama and poetry to 7- to 11-year-olds. Oh how I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall in on of his classrooms.

His dour recordings bely his existence growing up in Glasgow and seeing his peers arriving at school with bare feet - a fact which, he later claimed, helped form his leftwing political views, aged five - appeared in his hilarious writings, Life in a Scotch Sitting Room Volume 2. With lines such as "Voiding bowels in those days was unheard of. People just kept it in," he used a string of fantastical untruths to expose the reality of his life and the Spartan - and sometimes sadistic - Scottish existence.

He also taught for a time at A S Neil's Summerhill school. Dubbed a hippy academy where a different approach to education was fostered, Summerhill was run with rules agreed between staff and pupils, and the premise was to educate the whole person. This alternative philosophy appealed to Cutler. He lived in the grounds of the school. Ivor married for a time, but his parenting skills did not go down too well with his then wife, they had two sons, he sent one, on his first day at school wearing a kilt, I can see that going down well in England! His son remembers his father once taking him fake fishing,taking him out in the street, with a stick and bit of string and a fork tied on the end dangling in a puddle, being his fishing line, he also says "I couldn't say I was pleased when he felt the need to walk down the street with a carpet sample in place of a tie."

During the late 50's and into the 60's he mixed his teaching with that of entertainment, managing to secure a slot on Acker Bilk Show and Late Night Line-Up. On one such appearance he was spotted by Paul McCartney, who invited Cutler to appear in the Beatles' film Magical Mystery Tour where he played the bus conductor Buster Bloodvessel, and yes the lead singer of Bad Manners took his name from this and was also a fan of Cutler.

Through music, poetry and children’s books the songwriter, poet and “unjoiner” of thoughts perfected a brand of eccentric mischief that made him a favourite of many.

His absurdist songs – sung in dour Glaswegian tones with a wheezing harmonium for company – were an ever-present on John Peel’s radio shows, second only in rotation to The Fall. His darkly whimsical eye can be seen in contemporary British artists like David Shrigley and Martin Creed. And yet Cutler remains something of a marginal figure, known only to a devoted few.

For the latter part of his career, Cutler lived on his own in a flat on Parliament Hill Fields, north London, which he found by placing an ad in the New Statesman saying "Ivor Cutler seeks room near Heath. Cheap!". There he would receive visitors, and his companion Phyllis King, in a reception room filled with clutter, pictures and curios, including his harmonium, some ivory cutlery (a pun, of course) and a wax ear stapled to the wall with six-inch nails - proof of his dedication to the Noise Abatement Society, because of which he forbade his audience ever to whistle in appreciation at his work. The bicycle was his preferred mode of transport, its cow-horn handlebars in the sit-up-and-beg position in line with his Alexander technique practice.

He could quote from Homer, taught himself Chinese and was in the habit of frequenting Soho's Chinatown, where he could display his knowledge - although, typically, he chose Chinese above Japanese because the textbooks were cheaper. With the onset of old age he was increasingly worried about losing his memory, given that his father and brother had both developed Alzheimer's disease. It was a fear that was to be tragically fulfilled. He retired from the stage at the age of 82.

His main champion in the late 70's and 80's John Peel once remarked that Cutler was probably the only performer whose work had been featured on Radio 1, 2, 3 and 4.

Ivor Cutler died after a massive stroke on March 3rd 2006 aged 83.

I could no doubt find many stories about Ivor online but will give you some of his own whimsical word instead, first up is

I Ate a Lady’s Bun

I got taken to gaol.

I ate a lady’s bun.

On her head.

She got a fright.

It was a surprise.

Do not worry I said.

I am eating your bun.

I am hungry for a bun.

Police she cried a good

neighbour heard her

and phoned the

police.

You must not eat a lady’s bun even

if you are hungry.

And I am in jail.

And some of his advice......

5 Wise Saws

1. Do not kick a grocer

on the leg.

2. If you kick a grocer

on the leg, make sure

it’s not a green grocer.

3. If you throw a ball,

it moves in the air.

4. You can not erase a

love letter with a

nipple, no matter how

rubbery.

5. If you empty your bowels

at night, a shepherd

will have a red face

in the morning. -*

[winterhalters]

What were Marie de medici’s failings as a regent from your perspective as I recall reading recently this really weird take which tried to argue she was a great one but from what I have read from you and personal research she wasn’t? Sorry for the long paragraph just would love to hear your thoughts!!!

marie is such a complex character to analyze, not gonna lie. From a strictly objective point of view, if you look at her regency and only the timeframe of her regency, she did relatively well mostly because the kingdom had reached a specific point from the time Henri IV was still alive. Her best interest was to secure as much of Henri's policies, inside and outside, as possible and she did for the most part. Her regency is fundamentally different from that of Catherine de Medici because Henri IV was in his fifties and had reigned for over twenty years; there was a blueprint in place that felt somewhat cohesive and she followed it, which i'll admit is no small feat considering the amount of pressure a queen mother faces when she becomes regent for a minor.

now when all is said and done i don't necessarily agree when people complain that Marie is just completely vilified because people don't understand her (it's more or less the entire premise of the thesis written by JF Debost from a couple years ago). His work gives me 'separate the artist from the art' vibes. She was a decent enough regent, which, alright, fair, but she was an abusive and obsessive mother, and utterly unable to put the greater good above her own ambitions. Dubost says in his book that her biggest mistake was to lose against Richelieu because ultimately it made him out to be the good guy and her the bad guy, but i disagree, like it's okay you can just admit they were both just as bad and move on. She was a victim as a wife but not as a queen mother; she victimized herself a lot, which is very different, pitted her sons against each other, and at the same time harassed and morally abused her daughter-in-law who was just a teenager when she married into the family.

in terms of failings, when talking about royalty i think it's a beginner's mistake to think you can dissociate private and public life. Royals weren't on the job, they were, period. Marie's shortcomings as a queen mother impacted the diplomatic and political landscape. The Spanish marriages were a choice, the English marriage was A Choice, the Estates General were a mess and led the top nobility to gain more power and confidence which provoked a constant clash with Richelieu and eventually derailed into the Fronde rebellion about two decades later. we can argue that it wasn't strictly her fault, and probably more Richelieu's, but it's worth mentioning, just like Louis XV's failings with the Parliament is worth mentioning when talking about the 1789 Revolution. The Concinis were also a huge, huge mistake that could have ended even worse than it did.