#Pledis17trash

[pledis-17-trash]

BTS Scenario - reader who hides emotions

Hi sweetie, I sincerely apologise for not posting this sooner, although I promised I would...honestly with all the final exams and stuff, this was quite the challenge for me and I hope I was able to deliver what you have requested. (I really, really hope you like it!)

Happy holidays! :3

Pairing - BTS x reader 

Warnings - none ; it might be too long hahaha 

Admin - _Maggie_ 

Kim Seokjin  

“(Y/N)? You okay?” Jin asked, seeing you stare blankly at the phone in your hands. “(Y/N)?” he called again and you blinked, waving your head before you looked up at him. “Yes, why?” You asked, fake smile plastered on your face and Jin chewed onto his bottom lip. “You have been staring at your phone for quite some time now..” you watched how he approached you, not moving. “what did you see there?” he took your phone and unlocked it.  

“Have you seen the bitch Seokjin is dating? Oh My God, she is so ugly and I bet she is with him for money and fame.”  

He looked up, your face still having the fake smile he hated. “Why are you reading that?” you did not answer. “(Y/N), how many times have I told you to not read that shit?” he asked, his tone rising but you did not waver. “It does not bother me at all.” You responded, your face emotionless and you got up to leave the room. “(Y/N)-" Jin caught your hand, stopping you. 

“You are hurting me Jin.” You told him, looking him in the eyes. “Why do you keep on reading that shit? I told you several times to stop.” He waited for your answer which did not come. “(Y/N)!” he growled “ANSWER ME!” he yelled and you flinched. “Let go of me.” “NOT UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME.” You stared blankly at him, his grip tightening around your wrist.  

“You know what? Forget it. I am not going to bother, you don’t want to tell me what bothers you and how you feel? Fine, keep on hiding everything from me and we will see how far it will go.” He spat, letting go of your hand as he turned around and marched out of the room. 

You stood there in silence, you never showed how you felt, you promised yourself a long time ago that you will not cry ever again, but you felt tears rolling down your cheek. You sniffed, wiping your tears away with your sleeve as Jin's words replayed in your head.  

“I am sorry,” Jin whispered, wrapping his hands around you from behind. He never wanted to make you cry, he never wanted to see you cry but it was pissing him off. “I overreacted.” He apologised, his grip tightening. “I-It's...It's fine..” you sniffed, silently thanking him for not turning you around. “It pissed me off, it pisses me off...you keep on hiding from me and I hate that.” He confessed, his lips pressing against the end of your jaw. “It will never happen again, I will never yell at you again.” He turned you around, wrapping his hands around your face, wiping the tears away from your face. 

“You look pretty when you cry tho.” You chuckled. “T-Thanks?” Jin leaned down, pressing his lips against yours. “I love you.” “I-I love you too.” Smiling, Jin pulled you close. “I know.” Wrapping your hands around him you thanked the world for rewarding you with such a gentle boyfriend. 

Kim Namjoon  

“Anyhow, I lost my goddamn earphones...again!” Namjoon complained, throwing his bag on the floor. You tilted your head, nodding at him and Namjoon bit the inner side of his cheek. Something was troubling you, he could tell. He learned how to read your body language since you never showed your feelings.  

Whenever something troubled you, you would close yourself more. Usually, your body language would be more open and he would always feel welcome, but now...the way you clutched the book close to yourself told another story.  

“Babe, what is wrong?” he asks, sitting on the sofa next to you. “I am fine.” You replied and Namjoon tilted his head, getting a hold of a book you held. “(Y/N)-" he called softly, you focused your eyes on him. “I am fine.” You repeated. “You promised me last time that you will talk.” He stated, his eyes narrowing and you sighed. “Nothing is going on.” You lied to him and Namjoon sighed. 

“You are lying to me again. You promised you will not to.” He growled, staring at you. “I am not-" “Don't just don't.” He raised his hands in the air. “I give up, I am done.” He moved away from you, your heart arching. “Namjoon-" you called, trying to stop him from leaving.

“Enough (Y/N), you lied to me and broke your promise I am done!” he said, voice rising as he got up. “I am fine with you not talking and expressing yourself but lying to me? I can't put up with that, not anymore. I feel like shit every time I come to you for comfort and you never, never did that.” He glanced at you, your hands trembling and he hated himself for saying what he did but, he had to.   “I am seriously done (Y/N). When will you stop being cold towards me?” you didn't respond, you couldn't find words and Namjoon rubbed his temples as you looked away. 

“I-" he sighed, turning on his heel and when he was about to leave, you caught the brim of his shirt, stopping him. “I-I am sorry.” You whispered, clutching his shirt. “D-Don't leave me.” You begged and Namjoon felt your handshaking and he turned around to see you. Guilt flashed through his body. “I-I will change, just-" your voice broke and Namjoon sat back down. “Come here, idiot.” He whispered, opening his arms and you instantly went in them.  

“I do not want you to change, I just want you to talk to me.” He confessed, his hands trailing down your back, caressing it gently. “I know it's hard and I told you many times that it's okay but, I can't go over the fact that you broke your promise. That hurts.” You clutched his shirt in your hands. “I am sorry.” You apologised again. “It's hard.” Namjoon kissed the top of your head. “I know, that is why you start with small things okay?” Not daring to look at him, you nodded your head. “So, will you tell me?” “I-I...I am worried, I am meeting your sister tomorrow and I do not know how to talk and-" Namjoon interrupted you by raising your head, forcing you to look at him and he chuckled at the pink colour on your cheeks. 

“You are dumb, you know that? She will love you.” He kissed your flushed cheek. “H-How do you know I-" his lips attacked yours, playfully. “I just know.” You gave in, you could never win against this strong and stubborn leader you loved very much. “Stop worrying and from now on, you will tell me 1 annoying thing that happened to you through your days okay?” You smiled as he moved the brim of your hair behind your ear. “Okay.” Namjoon smiled, cuddling you close.  

Min Yoongi  

You two were the same, did not talk much about what troubled you and you both were used to not showing your emotions in front of others. It took Yoongi years to openly talk to his bandmates and that time he cried on the stage...he was not proud of it, but he was not able to suppress his happiness and love he felt.   

Ever since then, he became bit open, at least he tried to especially when you were in the picture. He realized how easy it was because he knew that you would not judge him. He was the first one to say “I love you" and he made sure you do not feel pressured to say it back. You showed it, with each your touch, small and caring things you did for him and it was enough. In the beginning, it was enough but, now? He hoped he would hear it, he hoped it would slip but, it never happened.  

Is it so hard to say? 

He did not know, it was easy for him...he got used to the warm feeling in his body when he would say it, he got used to your small smile after he said it. And he waited, waited for you to say it...he thought that you are waiting for a special occasion and as the clock slowly ticked away the day of his birthday, he realized you would never say it.  

He watched you walk towards the doors of his room and when your hand reached the handle, he snapped. “Will you ever say it back?” he asked, his eyes focusing on the lyrics he had in front of himself. You stopped, blinking as you turned your head to look at him. “Wh-What do you mean?” you asked, staring at him, he didn't look up at you. 

“I confessed a year ago, you never said it back...how long do I have to wait?” your hand left the door handle as you turned your whole body towards him. “Yoongi-" you carefully called his name. “I love you, is that so hard to say?” he asked, his eyes finally meeting your (e/c) ones. Your chest tightened, his eyes burned holes in your soul as they saddened with each second that passed. 

“I know I said it’s okay but not anymore (Y/N), I love you...I just want to hear it.” Yoongi confessed and you looked down. “I-I thought you would understand..” You whispered, hearing Yoongi getting up from his chair. “I understand and I know you do care for me but I want to hear you say it.” You did not answer and Yoongi waited for a couple of minutes in a heavy silence. “Just forget I said anything and go home.” He growled, turning on his heel. “Yoongi-" “I have work to do, leave.” And so, you did.  

You came back, later that night when you were sure he was asleep. You loved him, more than anything but were so scared of saying it. Yoongi was laying on his bed, his head snapping towards you as you opened the doors. “I-I thought you were asleep-" you squirmed, apologizing and Yoongi sighed. “Well I am not, what do you want?” he asked harshly, instantly biting his tongue. “I-I don't-" you stuttered. “Just come here.” Yoongi pats the place next to him and you listened. He pulled you on his chest, kissing your forehead. 

“I am sorry for being an asshole.” He whispered, his hands wrapping around your small figure. “I became too greedy, not thinking about your feelings.” You listened to his words and a calm heartbeat. “I-I love you...Yoongi,” you whispered, heeling his heart jump. 

“W-What did you just-" he stopped, not being able to talk. “I was a bitch, I am sorry I-" he pulled you up. “S-Say it again.” He pleaded, the dim light in his room making you visible enough for him to see your deep reed cheeks. “I-I love you.” You repeated and Yoongi pulled your face close to his, crashing his lips against yours. 

“A-Again.” He demanded, your confession sounding unreal. “I love you.” You whispered through the kiss “I love you too.” Yoongi said, moving away from you, caressing your cheeks. “W-Was that so hard to say?” he teased. “Y-Yes.” You confessed, “Thank you..thank you for saying it.” He whispered, kissing you again as his heart skipped a beat.  

Jung Hoseok. 

Hoseok froze on the spot, he wasn’t able to do anything except watch how your favourite, white mug with small Christmas trees slipped out of his hands and fell on the floor in slow motion. Breaking into million pieces, making it impossible to glue back and the hot chocolate he made you, stained the floor and kitchen elements brown. “Hoseok? What happened?” he heard your voice and saw you approaching, he swallowed hard. “I-I am sorry, it slipped.” He apologised and you saw your mug, shattered on the floor.  

You bit your bottom lip and sucked in a breath. “Are you hurt?” you asked, staying calm and Hoseok shakily nodded his head. “Y-Yeah b-but your mug is broken.” “It's fine.” You said, catching Hoseok's hand in yours...checking it for wounds. He stared at you, not believing his eyes and ears. He knew how much that mug meant to you, he knew how much you wanted it and when you got it...that was the first time he saw you react and showing your feelings. It was the first time he was not the one who made you smile and it warmed his heart to the core.  

“Are you serious right now?” he asked, staring blankly at you. You looked up, tilting your head in confusion. “You won't yell at me or anything?” “Why would I?” you asked, looking down at his hands, which he snapped out of yours. “I broke your favourite mug goddamn it.” Hoseok barked, glaring at you. “It upsets you, you can't say it doesn't.” You stayed quiet, biting your lip as what he said was true and you still did not want to scream or yell. “There is nothing to say.” You replied and Hoseok grabbed your shoulders, squeezing them as he looked you in the eyes. “Scream, yell at me...just fucking say something that is not It's okay!” you stared blankly at him, not getting why he was acting raising his voice, but you were not good with emotions so... 

“(Y/N)-" Hoseok called your name, shaking your shoulders. “JUST SAY SOMETHING!” he screamed and you snapped. “YOU WANT ME TO YELL? SCREAM AT YOU?” You raised your voice and Hoseok's eyes widened. “DO YOU?” You screamed at him and Hoseok stepped a bit away. “I AM NOT GOOD WITH WORDS AND EMOTIONS AND ITS EASIER TO SAY ITS FINE THAN TO YELL.” You blurted out, shaking as you couldn't believe what you did. It was Hoseok's turn to stay quiet. This was the first time he heard you yell and he got scared. 

“You have broken my fucking mug and made me lose my temper.” You glared at him, turning on your heel. “Nicely done Hoseok.” Hoseok stared blankly at your back as they disappeared. “W-What just happened?!” he asked out loud and second after he was running after you. “(Y/N)!” He called, crashing into the bedroom, seeing you cry. 

“I am sorry!” he cried, wrapping his hands around you. You punched his chest, trying to push him away. “W-Why would you make me do that?!” You asked, tears streaming down your cheeks. “I would have told you but not like that!” you cried and Hoseok pulled you closer. “I got so upset because you did not get mad at me, not even when I broke your Christmasy Cup.” He clutched you closer before he moved slightly away to look at you. “I love my Christmasy Cup, that is true but I am not a type who would scream.” You sniffed “I am sorry for pushing you out of your comfort zone.” Hoseok kissed your forehead. “Y-You owe me a new mug.” You whispered and Hoseok chuckled. “I will buy you a new mug love.” You nodded cutely.  

Hoseok grinned at your cuteness and pressed his lips against yours before he slid them down your neck. “You know...you are so hot when you get mad.” A shiver danced down your spine as he hummed in your ear. “H-Hoseok!” you squirmed, blushing as you pushed him away. “Y-You have a kitchen to clean!” you pushed him slightly away and he groaned. “I forgot about that!” he instantly moved away from you. “I will be back.” He copied Swartzineger's voice and you chuckled. “I love you.” He purred, planting one last kiss against your forehead and vanishing out of the room. 

You chuckled, wiping your tears away as you waited for your man to come back with a new hot chocolate, which he did...half an hour later with a new, bigger mug and a big Christmas tree on the front. Your eyes widened and you instantly ran to him...spilling the hot chocolate all over the floor. 

“I love you.” You clutched him close and he laughed. “I love you too but babe, you are spilling!” he chuckled and you blushed, moving away. “Third time is a charm.” He says, laughing as he went in the kitchen to make you a new cup of hot chocolate.  

Park Jimin 

Jimin ran around like a little kid, it was his day off and you promised him many days ago that you two would go on a date in the new amusement park. He was extra excited which made you happy but, the dull pain in your stomach did not help you be as relaxed as you wanted to. You felt week, your legs were shaking with each step you took and you cursed at the fact that your period came early and you were unprepared. You had “just in case" tampons in all of your bags, but you always forgot to put painkillers in.  

“WE HAVE TO GO THERE!” Jimin got a hold of your hand, tugging it as he skipped down the road. You trailed after him, trying to keep up and when the rush of adrenalin and being pulled around washed out, your vision became blurry and black spots slowly filled your vision. “J-Jimin-" you managed to call, raising your hand in the air before darkness swallowed you.  

“(Y/N)!” Jimin managed to catch just before your torso hit the ground, his hands wrapped around your small body as he pulled you up and went on a bench. His heart was beating hard, his breath shaky as he trier not to panic. Gently, he placed you on the bench, raised your legs on up on the handle and took the bottle of water you always carried with you. And he waited, waited for you to regain consciousness as he gently placed your head in his lap and caressed your soft locks. Those three minutes seemed like ages for him and he saw you slowly open your eyes, a burden dropped from his heart and anger lighted up.  

“W-What happened?” You asked, your eyes adjusting to the light. “You fainted,” Jimin responded, his voice flat and you flinched as he looked down at you. You did not have to move his mask down to see that he was mad, his jaw clenched and eyes narrowed. You swallowed, “J-Jimin.” your voice trembling “Don't you Jimin me (Y/N).” Your lover warned, staring you down. “You passed out, do you have any idea how scared I was?!” he clenched his jaw harder, trying to stay calm. 

“What if I didn't reach you on time? What if you hit your head? Why the fuck didn't you tell me you were in pain? WHY?!” his voice raised with each word he said and you looked away. “LOOK AT ME!” His hand flew towards your chin, harshly raising it, forcing you to look at him. “Do you know how scared I was?” his eyes saddened, tears welled up in them. “Fuck (Y/N), you scared the shit out of me.” You chewed onto your bottom lip, swallowing hard as you pulled yourself up, sitting next to him.  

“I am sorry, you were so excited and I did not want to tell you.” You confessed, looking down. “I didn't want to ruin your day off.” Jimin sighed, rubbing his temples. “You know, I do not mind the fact that you do not like to talk about emotions or cry in front of me but...when you are hurting that is something I need to know!” he said, taking your hand in his. “Especially when you have cramps, which I know are bad.” Your eyes widened at his statement. “H-How did you-" “I am not that stupid.” He growled, “Your period is near, that much I know and the only logical explanation for you fainting is cramp pain.” You stayed quiet, not knowing what to say and Jimin got up.  

“Let's just go home...I do not want to be here anymore.” Guilt washed over your body and you got up. “Jimin, we still have half to-" “I don't want to ride rollercoasters anymore...I just want to go home, can we just go home?” he asked, turning on his heel and you followed him. “I am sorry.” You whispered, walking behind him and he turned around. “Sorry for what?” “Ruining your day...” Rolling his eyes, Jimin pulled you close. 

“Yeah you should be sorry and as an apology let me take care of you. We will go home, you will take a warm shower and after that, I will be your professional cuddler, is that okay?” A smile broke on your lips and you nodded, looking at him. “How did I live without you?” You asked and Jimin leaned down, rubbing his nose against yours. “I do not know, how did you?” you shrugged with a chuckle and Jimin softly kissed you. “Promise me that you will tell me next time.” “I promise.” Smiling, you walked down the park.  

He kept his word, he made sure you were comfortable and all snuggled up before he followed you into a dream world, holding you close to him. 

Kim Taehyung.  

“(Y/N)! We are going to Hyungsik-hyung's house!” Taehyung's voice echoed through the apartment and you sighed. “Why?” you asked when Taehyung appeared in the room with a big grin on his face. “We are having a reunion and they also want you to come.” You stared at him for a moment before you nodded and got up. He looked so excited and you did not want to complain or ruin his free day. “Okay, we are leaving in 20.” “Okay.” You whispered, going towards your closet to pick up the outfit.  

You hoped you two would stay home as he agreed to a few days ago. You did not feel like hanging out with people, but going to that reunion means being with Taehyung so, you swallowed your words and locked your feelings deeper. You do not remember the last time you two were alone and all you want is to snuggle next to him, eat popcorn and watch some movie.  

“Are you done?” Taehyung asked, fixing his jacket and you exited the room. Tight jeans hugged your curves perfectly and shirt accelerated your eye colour. Taehyung licked his lips and pulled you closer. “You look good.” He complimented, kissing your cheek and you smiled a bit, following him out of the apartment. “I can't wait to see them all!” he sang, walking next to you, excited. “Yeah? I am glad.” You replied, regulating your breathing and convincing yourself that you will be okay.  

You loved the Hwarang crew, they made you feel welcome and more than anything you loved the younger/older brother relationships between them. Your chest tightened a bit and you swallowed hard. Taehyung forgot all about you the moment you entered the house and so, you sat a bit aside, waiting for Taehyung to stop talking so that you can ask him to go home. You were exhausted, reaching your limit. Every time you would try to get Taehyng's attention, he would brush you off or glance at you for a second before he would forget about you in an instant. You took a deep breath and tried for the last time and, when Taehyung ignored you, you simply said that you will see him home (not caring if he heard or not) and saying bye to Hyungsik, you left.   

Taehyung noticed you weren't there an hour after you left and he got mad. He stormed out if the reunion and went home. “(Y/N)!” He yelled, slamming the doors behind him and marching into the living room. You sat there, a fluffy blanket around you. “(Y/N)!” He yelled again, standing in front of you and you looked up at him. “WHY DID YOU LEAVE? WHEN DID YOU LEAVE? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE LEAVING?” He growled, 

I-I did.” You replied with a whisper. “No, you did NOT. Do you have any idea how stupid I looked when everybody in the fucking room knew you left except me?!” you listened to him, not believing your ears. “How could you do that? How could you be so inconsiderate?!” you didn't say a word, your heartbeat raising as Taehyung began to walk away from you and you just couldn't stay quiet.  

“Me being inconsiderate?!” you growled, getting up. “What about you Taehyung?!” he stopped, turning around to look at you. “What the fuck do you mean?!” he spat, staring at you. “You never asked me how I felt! You fucking promised that we would stay home and we went to the reunion. And you even forgot about me the second we went in there. Do you even know how I am feeling?” you asked. “No, I don't because you never talk about your feelings.” Taehyung spat, glarring at you. 

You swallowed. “We have been together for three years Taehyung, you should have fucking learned.” You looked at him, tears in your eyes. “You act like you do not know me.” Tears fell from your eyes and you left him standing there as you slammed the doors of your bedroom behind.  

Taehyung stood in the living room, his eyes blurring as he then realized all the obvious signs he stupidly ignored. The way you did not giggle as you used to when he complimented you, the way you walked slightly behind him, the way your sentences were short at the reunion and the way you tried to get his attention and give him notice that you were not okay, but he ignored all of that. He was too excited to see his hyung's, that he ignored you...made you sad when all you asked out of him was to spend some time alone and he picked a stupid reunion over spending time with his (h/c) haired lover her loved very much. You should have been his priority and he failed you.  

With tears in his eyes, he went in your shared bedroom and went to you, wrapping his hands around your torso, your backs pressed against his chest. “I am sorry, I am so, so sorry.” He cried, hiding his face in your hair. “I took you for granted and ignored all the signs. I am so fucking stupid.” You heard his soft sniffles, felt his chest shaking and you bit the inner side of your cheek. “I-I am sorry too.” You whispered and felt how Taehyung waved his head. “You have nothing to be sorry about, I am an idiot.” He kissed your back. “Please, forgive me.”  

You turned around, placing your hands on his face and wiping his tears away. “It's okay Tae, I am not mad, it's okay.” He looked at you, nodding. “Now, can you smile for me baby?” you asked sweetly and he broke down into giggles, you calling him baby always made him happy. “Hyungsik-Hyung was right, you are my Angel sent from heaven.” You chuckled and Taehyung pulled you closer. “So, wanna watch a movie? Eat popcorn?” nodding happily on his question, you got up and he helped you prepare for the movie night. 

Jeon Jungkook  

“This fucking...YOU IDIOT!” Jungkook screamed at his screen, aggressively clicking his mouse and keyboard. “AH, FUCK ME!” He cursed again and you raised your eyes from the phone to him. He amused you and you did not want to admit but God your boyfriend was extra sexy and cute when he yelled at the computer. “HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET YOURSELF KILLED?!” He screamed again, and you could not help but laugh at him.  

“Why the fuck are you laughing?!” he growled, turning around and glaring at you. “Nothing.” You replied, focusing your eyes back at your phone. “(Y/N), why are you laughing?” he asked again. “I am laughing at you.” You responded honestly and Jungkook sighed, getting up, pissed. “I am glad I amuse you.” He spat, exiting the room and you sat there, confused at his lash out but you brushed it off, not wanting to think much of it.  

The computer kept making sounds and so, you got up and went towards it. Placing your hands on the desk, you looked at the screen, leaning down. Your eyes scanned the screen and you saw some messages popping up.  

Oppa, you are so good at gaming 

Oppa when are we going to meet? Can we do it again?  

Oppa, is your girlfriend bothering you again?  

You moved away from the desk, your hands shaking.  

Was he cheating on you? Would he do that? Your Jungkookie?  

You shook your head, refusing to believe at whatever you were reading.  

Oppa, leave her and come to me...I miss you  

Jungkook went back in, seeing you standing in front of the computer, your face blank. “(Y/N)-?” He called, tilting his head. “Your computer was making sounds, I turned the volume off, I hope I did not do something bad.” You told him, surprised at how calm your voice sounded. “It's fine.” He said, sitting back at the table.  

Half an hour later, you still did not comment on anything. You stayed quiet, your chest hurting, mouth dry and you tried your hardest to not have a panic attack. You heard Jungkook chuckle as he typed on the keyboard and you knew he was not playing. Getting up, you took your bag and looked at him. 

“If you plan on cheating on me, at least let me keep my dignity.” You said, still showing no emotions and Jungkook turned on his chair to see you. “You fucking read my messages?!” he growled. “I asked you something.” His voice deepened and eyes glared at you. 

“Yes, I did.” You replied, voice still not trembling. “And you didn't say a thing? Seriously?” he asked and you waved your head. “Not worth it.” “Are you trying to say that I - we are not worth it?” he asked, biting his lip. “We obviously do not matter to you so why bother.” You stated and Jungkook sighed, his head falling back in the chair. “Do you even love me (Y/N)? Do you even care?” you shifted the weight from one foot to another. “Yeah, I do.” You replied. “You have a nice way of showing it.”  Jungkook said, not looking at you.

He didn’t say a word, you two standing in the silence. The burden on your chest became too hard and Jungkook looked at you. “Y-You know-" you started, words stuck in your throat and Jungkook interrupted you. 

“You never say anything, you are never bothered, you are always okay with everything...I have been playing games for days now, spending every free hour on the computer and you never, not even once asked me to stop nor tried to stop me." Jungkook said, his voice calm. “It pisses me off, you piss me off. When will you be selfish? For once?” you swallowed the lump you had in your mouth. “I-" you couldn't find words and Jungkook turned the screen towards you. 

“All of this is fake, I made Taehyung type this just to see if you still care.” He said and you couldn't believe your ears. “I guess that this was not good at-" your body moved on your own, you had no time to stop yourself as you raised your hand in the air, slapping Jungkook across the face. “You fucking asshole.” You spat, Jungkook looked down, his eyes wide. “You fucking asshole.” You repeated, your body shaking.  

“I-I am sorry, I just wanted to-" he stopped, looking up. You were shaking abnormally, your breathing uneven and he instantly regretted what he did. “I-I know I am bad at being a good girlfriend b-but I never once...I-I never wanted to hurt you o-or make you t-think I-" You hiccupped. “I-I-" your voice broke, and instantly, Jungkook had his hands around you. 

He hated himself, regretted what he did...he never wanted to cause you to have a panic attack. “I-I am so sorry.” He apologised, holding you close. “I-I know how much you love playing games and I love seeing you play them and I never said anything because it made you happy and-"Jungkook squeezed you tighter.  

“Just shut up.” He growled at you. “Shut up and let me feel like shit because of what I did.” You nodded, not wanting to talk anymore. He held you close, his head, hidden in the crook of your neck. “J-Jungkook-" you called, almost ten minutes later. “Yeah?” he asked, not moving. “You are done with feeling like shit?” the male snickered, moving away. “I think I will never forgive myself.” You tilted your head, looking him in the eyes. 

“Do you hate me?” Jungkook asked with a whisper. “Yeah, I hate you for making me slap you.” He sighed. “I deserved it.” With that, Jungkook sat in his chair, pulling you in his lap. “Is it really Taehyung?” you asked and Jungkook turned his chair around, showing you the conversation. 

“I would never cheat on you, no matter what,” Jungkook promised, leaning his head against your shoulder. 

“Can you teach me?” you asked, moving slightly away. “Teach you what?” “How to play.” A huge smile broke on his lips. “Seriously?” he wrapped his hands around you, squeaking happily. “Yeah, that way we can play games together and-" he did not let you finish. “Okay, you use this to change weapons, this to go forward and-" you chuckled at the way his voice got childish, you forgave him...the moment he apologised. 

You got a hold of a mouse and followed his instructions. “You are good!” Jungkook praised you happily as he watched your game. “Really?” “Yes, you are better than I was when I started playing.” The game ended and you slightly moved away, looking at him. “Am I good enough for playing with you?” he smiled brightly, nuzzling his nose against your cheek. “I am really sorry for what I did.” 

You shook your head. “I forgive you.” Jungkook leaned forward, pressing his lips against yours. “I love you, from the bottom of my heart.” You blushed at his confession. “I love you too.” You whisperer, kissing him. “So, shall we kick some ass?” chuckling, Jungkook nodded, taking joystick in his hands.  

[pledis-17-trash]

BTS Scenario - reader who overthinks - Hyung Line (pt.1)

I would like to apologise for the delay....My college started again and then my phone decided to give up on me and everything I have ever written was in...I tried to re-write everything until my phone is back, which is why I decided to put this in 2 parts. 

I am really really sorry for the delay and how bad this turned into...I am not proud of it but I hope you will enjoy it. 

I apologise once again! 

Pairings: BTS X reader 

Warnings; None 

Admin; _Maggie_ 

Kim Seokjin  

You walked in the living room where your big mirror was at. The big two-meter tall mirror stood in front of you and you looked at yourself in it. Baby pink fluffy sweatshirt you had on was a bit stretched and fell slightly over your shoulder, tight jeans with ripped parts hugged your body perfectly in every single way. Baby pink heels with straps on your feet, made you look elegant. You huffed, chewing onto your bottom lip as you looked at your face..the makeup contained natural colour and you kept on pulling your hair up and letting it down. Trying to see which fit better.  

Jin stared at you from the couch, his breathing stopping as you twirled in front of the mirror. Posing and turning around, checking yourself from every angle with your hair up and down. Tilting his head, Jin furrowed his eyebrows as he heard you muttering to yourself.  

“If I have my hair up then my neck and shoulders are too exposed...if I have my hair down then I will be too hot and if the curls soften through the time...it will look lame “ you muttered to yourself, frustrated. “Last time...I looked too dumb with my hair up in a tight ponytail. This might be too much since the shirt keeps on falling over my shoulder-“ Jin blinked several times, amused by the amount of rumbling coming out of your mouth.  

“Jinnie, what do you think?” You asked, seeing him stare at you and he raised his eyebrow. “About what?” he asked, blinking several times. “Hair up or down?” you asked, coming to him, holding your hair up with your hand. “I mean..what if my shirt falls down too much? It will look bad on the pictures and I will look like a goddamn giraffe.” You commented, releasing your hair from your grip. “If it’s down then it will look bad if the curls don’t stay long.” Jin watched you constantly pull your hair up and then releasing it down.  

“I like it up.” He said and you chewed onto your bottom lip. “But down looks better-“ you scoffed “Then let it be down.” “But then-“ Jin sighed, getting up from the couch. “What is the big deal anyway? We are going to PD-nim’s birthday party...not the red carpet...I mean look what I am wearing.” He said, posing for you and you scanned his outfit.  

Simple white button-up shirt and baby pink jeans (which he picked out when you said that you will wear the fluffy sweater). “You look good in everything!” You huffed and Jin chuckled. “Well, I am worldwide handsome.” Rolling your eyes, you turned around “I will just go change to-“ Jin grabbed your hand, turning you towards him. “Babe seriously, stop overthinking.” You pouted, looking at him. “You choose then...please,” you begged and Jin moved the hair from your shoulders, pulling it up in a loose ponytail, few wisps on each side of your delicate face. “Then go like this.” He said with a smile and you looked at your reflection.  

“Are you sure it won’t look bad on pict-“ stopping you mid-sentence, Jin placed a soft kiss on your lips and moved away a bit, wrapping his hands around your waist and pulled you close. “It won’t...your fucking beautiful neck and collarbone will be visible...which I fucking love aaaaand-“ he leaned down, his lips brushing above your neck. “I can do this any time.” You blushed when his lips kissed your sweet spot. “O-Okay-“ you breathed out and Jin smirked, his teeth gently nipping your skin. “Good, now let’s go.” You nodded and Jin took your hand in his...leading you out if the apartment.  

Kim Namjoon  

Namjoon fastened his walk, trying to reach your shared apartment as soon as possible as he checked his watch...your final exam results will be out in an hour and he promised you that he would check them with you.  

He finally reached the apartment and when he opened the door, he was left standing there...his jaw wide open as he looked at the sight in front of him. There you were, his beloved girlfriend of two years at the desk...writing something maniacally down, muttering to yourself. Your hair was all over the place and you chewed onto the end of the pencil before you took an eraser and began to aggressively rub it on the paper. You did not even hear him come in.

 “(y/n)?” Namjoon called softly, shaking his head and at that moment the paper in front of you tore apart. “SON OF A BITCH!” You screamed, scratching your head furiously  “Yo, babe-“ Namjoon called, his voice stronger this time and you looked up. “Oh, hi.” You replied and Namjoon chuckled at your adorable, confused face. “What are you doing?” he wondered “What time is it?” you asked, focusing on the papers in front of you as you began to write something down again. 

“Its 4 pm.” Namjoon replied, shutting the door behind him. “Will you tell me?” he repeated his question “I am rewriting the questions and answering them and-“ your voice died down as your mind was focused on the answers. “I am going to go take a shower, you better be done by then.” You nodded your head his statement.  

Namjoon took a short shower, preparing himself for what is about to come next. This happens once a year when you have finals...he loved the way you were determinate and focused on your goals, you wanted to graduate as an honoured student and He always tried his best to be your support as well as you were his. Which is why you needed him the most now.  

Your goal was to be a psychiatrist, you did your internship in the most prestige hospital which is how the two of you met three years ago. He fell in love the moment he saw and heard you interact with one of the patients; the amount of care and understanding that radiated from your body threw him off his feet. When he asked why psychiatry...your response was one reason more he fell in love.  

“Because I want to help people, especially teens...this might sound like I am trying to get you to like me, but...I want to help young trainees and idols overcome their depression and hurting...I want them to know that there is somebody who would always be here to listen and understand.”  

Namjoon went back to the room and came close to you, turning your chair towards him as he crouched down, making you look at him. 

“Babe, stop worrying...I am sure you did amazing and going over answers and questions over and over again will go bald.” He joked, making you smile a bit. “I-I can’t help it...I am scared I did not do a good job and my GPA needs to be good.” You complained, Namjoon placed his hands on your thighs. “What is the grade you will have if the exam went as planned?” he asked, already knowing the answer. “A.” You replied, nibbling down onto your bottom lip.  

“I am sure you will get an A babe...so please calm down.” “If I fucked it up, I can get an F and then my GPA will drop-“ you shook your head, Namjoon caressed your thigh. “Okay, if that happens...what will your final grade be?’’ his fingers brushed against your hip as he looked into your (e/c) orbs. “B.” Smiling a bit, Namjoon took your hands in his. 

“That is not the end of the world love...and your final GPA will be-?” “3.97.” Your response made Namjoon’s eyes to widen and in an instant, he was on his feet.  “That is it.” He barked, pulling you up and over his shoulder. “N-Namjoon-“ you squirmed as he threw you on the bed and hovered above you. 

“You. Need. Rest.” He growled “B-But-“ “No fucking but’s (y/n), for fuck's sake I thought that your GPA will be like 3.2 and you won’t be an honoured student. And you are telling me that it will be 3.97 which is only 0.3% from perfect 4.0 GPA!” his eyes stared at you and you swallowed. 

“We are watching a movie and, we will check the results after.” He stated, laying down and pulling you close to him, your backs pressed against his chest as he tightened his grip around you. “Do not even think about squirming out.” He growled, ordering you and you nodded...silently thanking him for it.  

After the movie, Namjoon got a hold of your phone and checked the results instead of you. “S-So...how did I do?” you asked as a big cheeky smile appeared on Namjoon’s lips “You did it, babe, you got an A.” He replied and in an instant, a huge burden fell off your chest and your body relaxed. “As I have said, you did an amazing job baby.” Namjoon praised, leaving small kisses down your shoulder, making you giggle.  

“Yeah, you were right.” You replied, your body melting underneath his lips. “Now, I have cancelled everything on my schedule so that both you and I can finally have a deserved 12-hour nap.” Chuckling sweetly, you pressed your lips against Namjoon’s “I love you.” You purred and Namjoon smiled. “I love you too.” He replied and both of you took a long ass nap.  

Min Yoongi  

You tossed and turned in your bed, the empty spot next to you bothering you way more than usual. Yoongi was working late, and you felt like shit, constantly waiting for the interview to come out.  

4 am  

Fucking great  

You cursed, throwing your phone away and letting your body fall onto the fluffy pillows only to raise a second later, refreshing the fucking site again. You knew that nothing would change since it’s fucking 4 in the morning and nobody in their right mind would be awake at this time...and even more be awake to upload the interview. You took one of the pillows and pulled it to your face, screaming at it as you threw a fit, your legs hitting the soft mattress. And once again, you went through the whole interview questions  

Yoongi looked at his watch...it’s almost 5 am and he smiled a bit, the image of your sleeping figure curled in blankets popped up in his head. It was his favourite view, your small body on the big bed, your hair scattered on the pillows; and it was the best feeling when he would slowly move under the covers, pulling your body close and you would always softly murmur “Welcome home Yoongi-“ before he would fall asleep with you in his arms. Sleeping with you was his favourite time of the day.  

“(Y/N)...seriously.” Yoongi hissed, seeing you wide awake walking around the living room like the toy puppy on the batteries. You stopped turning towards him. “What?” You asked confused and Yoongi sighed, coming to you. “Why are you awake? It’s 5 fucking in the morning.” He scoffed and your eyes widened. 

“It’s already 5?” you asked and Yoongi chuckled. “Yes...so what is stressing you?” “T-The interview...” you replied, looking down. “Why?” he asked and you shrugged. “What if I messed it up? I mean...the the whole interview is all over the place...I was stuttering and blushing and-“ you stopped, mid-sentence and Yoongi cupped your cheeks with his warm hands. 

“You are stressing and overthinking too much...come on, people know it was your first interview ever and you are adorable when you blush.” He purred sweetly, his lips meeting yours. “Now, go straight to bed and wait for me there.” He ordered and you nodded, not wanting to anger him.  

His hands wrapped around your waist and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t fall asleep. Everything was bothering you too much and you tried to stay calm but with each second that passed, you grew more restless. Several moments later, you moved out of Yoongi’s hands “I fucking should have said this!” you mumbled, throwing blankets off.  

“(Y/N)-“ Yoongi caught your hand, stopping you from exiting the bed as he pulled you to him. Your chest pressed against his, his backs against the mattress and hands firmly wrapped around your torso. “Fucking stop.” He growled. “I-I can’t sleep, I need to-“ you complained, trying to get out of his grip. “You need to calm down and stop thinking or I will get mad,” Yoongi commented and you ighed.  

“Here-“ he said, handing you his earphones and you raised your eyebrow. “You want me to watch something till I fall asleep?” you teased and Yoongi rolled his eyes, unlocking his phone. “I love to sleep, and I love sleeping with you and I know that you have trouble sleeping often so I made something for you.” He murmured, placing earphones in your ear. 

“It’s not done yet, but-“ he pressed play, a slow beat filled your ears and moment later Yoongi’s slow rap followed. Your eyes widened, tears filled your ears as you kissed him. “You are the best!” You commented to which Yoongi chuckled, pulling you onto his chest. “Good night Princess.” He kissed the top of your head and you drifted to sleep, Yoongi’s voice calming you down.  

Jung Hoseok  

You two were the overthinking couple, at least boys called you that sway as the two of you were often caught overthinking. Hoseok loved that, because the two of you could talk about ‘what if’ all the goddamn time, thinking about every single possible positive and negative outcomes of any situation. You loved that he understood, everything except the way you felt about yourself.  

That is one of the things Hoseok did not get...your picture of yourself. He was a confident man, but you? You weren’t and you would always argue about that...him telling you how gorgeous you look and you, beating him up with low comments about yourself and disagreeing.  

“I need to lose few pounds before the charity event, I can’t fit into my dress anymore..” he heard you mumble and instantly, his head snapped in your direction. 

“(Y/N)-“he called, his voice low and you flinched. “what are you talking about?” he asked and you chewed down onto your bottom lip. “N-Nothing-“ you replied, not looking at him and Hoseok came to you, his hands wrapping around your hips. “(Y/N),” he called again, softly, making you look him in the eyes. “please tell me what is bothering you.” You hesitated but decided to confess.  

“The charity event, in a few days...I can’t fit into the dress anymore and...I don’t want to look bad in the pictures...” you murmured and Hoseok kissed your forehead. “We will get you another dress.” He said, trying to calm you down...it backfired at him. 

“SO, YOU DO THINK I AM FAT?!” You growled at him, your (e/c) eyes sending daggers his way and Hoseok whimpered for a second. “I am saying that we can get you another dress and-'' “I WANT THAT ONE!” You growled and Hoseok sighed. “Seriously...” your eyes filled with tears and you punched his chest. “You don’t understand, I need to look good...otherwise I can’t stand next to you...you look good in everything, fuck.” Tears fell down your eyes and Hosek bit his bottom lip.  

“(Y/N), love...I love you, I love every single part of you and please stop thinking that way about yourself....” he begged, caressing your face. “B-But-I-“ “You are overthinking way too much and you can’t fit any of your clothes because of the reason which is not just you gaining weight...’’ Hoseok smiled, leaning down to press a soft kiss against your lips. “ Baby, you gave birth to our baby girl a few months ago!” He finished his sentence and You looked up at him. 

“People know, fans know and for God’s sake you are only 1 confection number up...you will go back in no time but you can’t now...not when you are still nursing.” You chewed onto your bottom lip. “I know..”You looked down and Hoseok pulled your hand “We are getting you a new dress, now.”   

Few day’s later, you walked down the red carpet with Hoseok. He held you close, a proud smile on his face and when you paused for pictures, you heard the comments. 

“(Y/N)! YOU LOOK GORGEOUS! HOW IS YOUR BABY GIRL? YOU ARE GLOWING! YOU LOOK GREAT!” 

A blush appeared in your face and Hoseok leaned to your ear. “I told you, you are fucking beautiful,” Hoseok whispered and you smiled. “Thank you.” You whispered and Hoseok kissed your cheek. “I love you, idiot.” He chuckled “I love you too Hoseok.”  He grinned, posing fr pictures and showing you off 

[pledis-17-trash]

The Girl Behind The Camera

You are a young photographer who started an Instagram account as an appreciation account for the beauty of your friend Kim Misun. 

The account became popular in a matter of months because people were madly in love with your photos and Misun. 

Nobody knows your identity and gender and your friends make sure that it stays hidden. 

One day, while you were on a trip, you took a picture of a guy who turned out to be no other than Kim Taehyung, but you did not realize it until he did.

KakaoTalk + Twitter + Instagram posts

Character Introduction

Ch. 1 - Guess where 🤗 

Ch. 2 - Announcement

Ch. 3 (pt. 1) - Early Birthday Present

Ch. 3 (pt. 2) - Namjoon's orders -Tae P. O. V.

Ch. 4 - Payback

Ch. 5 - Jackie Seagull - Tae P. O. V.

Ch. 6 - coming soom

Ch. 7 

_____________________________________

Hello guys, I wanted to do something to freshen up the page and I hope this will help. 

Admin: _Maggie_

[pledis-17-trash]

The Girl Behind The Camera  - Character Introduction

(L/N) (Y/N) 

You are a 22 year old college student, studying in Korean University. 

Soon to be majoring in International Business - Management

You go under the name of Bohemian Kanon. (Instagram account below). You have always loved nature and have been taking pictures since a very young age, photography now is your full time part time job. (if that makes sense)

Kim Misun 

You two met at the age of 15 when you moved to Korea. (If you are Korean, pretend you moved to another city). You two are of the same age and studying at the same college, but Misun will major in Marketing.

You two clicked the moment you met and ever since then, you have been inseparable.

Ahn Hwan 

The maknae of the group, an angel. You met him in the second year of High School,he is a year younger and studying to be a doctor.

Hwan is the one who helped you with the Instagram account and often helps you with editing the photos and Misun’s style. 

Seol Kyungsik  

The oldest and the baddest of the group. You met him through Hwan, he is also studying to be a doctor (which you all find extremely funny considering his looks).

He is 23 and your biggest support. 

_________________

The Girl Behind The Camera

I do not own any of the pictures, all of the people pictures are taken from are listed down below. (their Instagram accounts)

Kim Misun - @ kkmmmkk

Ahn Hwan - @ okayhong​ 

Seol Kyungsik -@ luon_live

Admin: _Maggie_

[pledis-17-trash]

The Girl Behind The Camera - Part 1

Admin: _Maggie_

The Girl Behind The Camera description link -> **

[pledis-17-trash]

The Girl Behind The Camera - Ch. 5 (Taehyung P. O. V.)

The Girl Behind The Camera -> **

I am really sorry it took so long to post a new chapter!!

I love you guys ♥️

Admin: _Maggie_

[pledis-17-trash]

The Girl Behind The Camera - Chapter 3

(pt. 2) - Taehyung P. O. V.

The Girl Behind The Camera full story -> **

Admin: _Maggie_

[pledis-17-trash]

The Girl Behind The Camera - Chapter 3

(pt. 1)

The Girl Behind The Camera full story -> **

Admin: _Maggie_

[pledis-17-trash]

The Girl Behind The Camera - Part 2

The Girl Behind The Camera -> **

Admin _Maggie_

[pledis-17-trash]

The Girl Behind The Camera - Chatper 4

(y/n) P. O. V.

The Girl Behind The Camera -> **

Admin: _Maggie_

[pledis-17-trash]

Park Jimin as your boyfriend

First of all, this little bundle of joy would show you around, showing your pictures to everybody and be like “LOOK AT MY BABYGIRL!” with his mochi smile

He would spoil you every chance he got with small gifts or notes

Romantic surprises once in a while(flowers candles dinner and so on)

Pout when you tease him 

Try to act cuter than you, especially when you are in your aegyo mode 

Show off at dance practices when you are there and tries to impress you 

Constant blessings with his voice 

Always gonna ask for your opinion when he is getting dressed and would wait for you to compliment him 

When you two argue, he would storm out of the house and soon be back with roses

If he does something wrong, he would apologise for it many times, even when a long time passes he would still apologise for it if it pops in his head

When you are angry he tries to make you laugh with goofy faces or starts tickling you to make you laugh 

Enjoys your food and tries to cook for you

When you are with the band he makes sure to show everyone that you are his (wants you to sit in his lap or hugs you constantly when you talk to other members) 

Loves spending time alone with you, cuddling  

Loves embracing you from behind and walk around like that 

Keeps staring at your face and admiring your beauty 

Buys you band merchandise, especially the ones with his initials or name and 

Gives you “ JIMIN IS MY BIAS” custom made sweater 

Wants you to attend as many concerts as possible and always looks for your face in the crowd 

When he sees your face, he would glance at you as much as possible and give you small smiles

Gets embarrassed at some shootings when he sees you smiling at him and he is trying to be sexy 

SMUT

At the beginning, he would be submissive until you awake his inner beast 

When he is in his beast mode, constant smirking and dirty whispering in your ear, alongside with bunch of teasing

Likes to leave his marks all over your body and keep you underneath him 

His favourite thing to see is you losing yourself in pleasure

Although he enjoys being rough, he loves Vanilla sex the most

He then would hold you in his hands, hugging you, kissing every part of your body

Slow thrusts, kisses and interviewed hands are MUST

Morning after: Wakes you up with kisses and cuddles and whispers that he loves you the most 

Admin : _Maggie_  *I will start posting some smuts I have in my draft to see if you guys like it and then continue doing them* 

Thank you for all your support!!

[pledis-17-trash]

Chenle being random

okay idk why I saw him doing something like this honestly~ Its random like his dolphin sounds~<3

yes call me weird XD 

have a nice day! hope i made you chuckle or at least smile!

-admin suzy

[pledis-17-trash]

Update-

Hi everyone I know this blog has been on a downward spiral for the past year, and for that I’m sorry. All the admins work/go to school/uni and we just don’t have enough time.

-We know that we have so many requests to get through and most of these are now ships, however the admins who previously wanted to add ships left us a long time ago. So from now on no more ship requests will be taken. Those remaining in our ask box will be completed. We feel guilty for not being able to post and respond, we never want anyone to feel ignored.

-This blog was principally an Scenario/Reaction blog and that is what I am reverting it back to as of now.

-We used to get a lot more recognition and interaction from you guys when we posted like this and this is why I have decided to no longer take ships. Our writing skill is what I want to be appreciated.

-And please feel free to interact with us like you all used to. The feedback on our posts really does make it all worth it.

PLEASE wait for us. We will be back soon. 🖤

[pledis-17-trash]

Seventeen Vocal Unit as boyfriends

Jeonghan

- OUR ANGEL

- Very gentleman like

- But savage as hell

- Takes you out on a lot of dates

- Loves you with his whole heart and shows you that

- Buys you lots of presents when he is on tour

- Protective

- Romantic

- Wouldn’t be that sexual, he’d want every time to be special

- Would be mature but you could still have fun

Joshua

- another gentle man

- He’d sing to you when you can’t sleep

- Would always hype you up and make sure you feel confident and pretty and loved

- He’d be calm and chilled most of the time

- Loud moments are very rare

- Takes you out on a date to a park or in the studio and chills with you there

- He’d be kinky but wouldn’t go too far if you didn’t like it

Woozi:

- You are always the on who hears the songs he produced first

- You are basically the one he trusts the most

- Counts on you

- He’s so trust worthy

- You two would be a power couple

- Always honest

- Barely fight

- Beautiful

- Wow

- He’d always be there for you no matter how busy he is

- He might be a bit cold at times but for you he warmed up a bit

- A sweetheart, tries to give you everything you want

- I don’t see him being very kinky, o think he’d just enjoy everything you two do ;)

- But that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be down to experiment

- He’d be your sunshine

- Calls you lots of nicknames

DK:

- THE LOUDEST COUPLE

- (Infront of the boys)

- Is shook whenever he sees you cause

- „Wow how did I get so lucky?“

- Love you with his W h o l e h e a r t

- No really, he’d do anything for you

- Wants to show you off

- Takes you to award shows and buys your dress

- And shoes

- Basically all you need

- Even if you don’t need it

- Makes a lot of fun with you

- Always wants to see you smile

- But can be very mature too

Seungkwan

- He is the sweetest boi ever

- Cares so much about you

- Listens to you for hours

- But talks twice as much back

- Adores your smile

- And your laugh

- And your hair

- Your body

- Your style

- Personality

- Voice

- Everything

- He literally is so clingy when you are alone

- He is just one big fluffy bitch

- But when you are with the boys

- Oh damn he is trying to be cool

- But fails

- So romantic when you do it

- Slow and gentle

- But will go hard when he sees you need it

Xx Admin Se

[pledis-17-trash]

happy new year!

hello everyone! Hope all of you had a nice party! Happy late new year! 

Hope all your wishes and dreams will come true in 2019 and I hope you'll keep supporting us! Thank you for sticking around! <3

-admin Suzy

[pledis-17-trash]

Pure Life

Part One

Word count: 892

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Silence. When everything was quiet and Jackson could hear nothing but his boyfriend’s heavy breath, he knew that something was gonna happen. It was like the sun before the darkness. The calm before the storm. The quiet place before someone was gonna pin him against a mattress ,or occasionally against a wall, and make him scream. The quiet place was hard to describe. There was no tension, no laughs, no screams, it was just them. Pure life. Not even their favorite song would’ve been heard if it played on the little radio from the 80’s that was standing on the little table in front of their couch. Blue neon lights wouldn’t get them from separating their views from each other.

It was just life. Pure Harmony before hell came. Everyone always thinks he’ll is a bad thing, but what if it actually feels good? What if someone can enjoy feeling pain for sometimes several hours because he thought he deserves the pain? What if he liked to suffer? The happiest song could be a sign for suffering. The loudest laugh could just be an excuse to scream out pain. We will never know what is going on in someone’s mind but Jackson knew what his boyfriend was planning.

When that little sigh escaped Yugyeom‘s mouth he knew something was up. It wasn’t that he wanted to make him scream in a sexual way. Yugyeom wanted his boyfriend to scream all his anger out. The song changed and so did the atmosphere. The tension was huge. Of course

Jackson knew what to say, he always did, but there was no way he was gonna admit how weak he actually was. Not that Yugyeom didn’t see the scars all over his body, not that he was there when Jackson broke down in the middle of a street because he was surrounded by too many people. No, he saw everything. Every flaw and every imperfection the older one had. He watched him breaking and then put him back up, helped him standing and guiding him through life. He watched him bleeding to almost death, but he took his shirt off and wrapped it around his wrist to stop it from bleeding.

The day Yugyeom came home and saw a knot hanging from the ceiling, he ripped it off and hung it back into their garage. The night he came home from dance practice and saw Jackson‘s pale body swimming under the water, his eyes closed and a little yellow letter und a box in which the necklace was he got him for their anniversary, he carried him out of there, called the ambulance and stayed by his side until he knew if he was okay or not.

Yugyeom did that, every time. This was the quiet place. And soon it wouldn’t be anymore. Because today he came home to Jackson just sitting there and saying nothing. The Chinese boy never behaved like that. NEVER. The Korean has never seen his boyfriend like this before. Not before or after all the times he tried to end his life, not before or after the few times he broke down..never. He knew this was the end. Not only for their relationship but also for his life. Yugyeom promised Jackson to let him go when that day would be here. And it was now.

„I am sorry.“ Yugyeom whispered after a long while.

„I am sorry I couldn’t make you happy, I am sorry for that I made everything worse. I am sorry I couldn’t always be there for you if you needed me.“. Usually he never cried,this was the first time.

Jackson knew he meant that. Knew how he his tears were his deepest emotions. Knew how real this was. The feeling of wanting to end everything grew stronger with every second.

With his eyes filled with tears he looked into his boyfriend’s eyes and smiled.

„You will find someone better. Someone who doesn’t hurt you like I did.“ He said and let his tears flow.

„I was never able to love you the way you loved me. I kept disappointing you, hurting you and breaking my promises.“

Yugyeom just looked at him with a confused face. In his eyes Jackson never did any of those things.

It wasn’t worth fighting over something like that in that very moment. Even though he wanted to say something he couldn’t.

Jackson couldnt either.

„If..if you do it.. i will too..“ said the younger one some minutes later. With the pills in his significant other‘s Hand, that one stood up and shook his head.

“It is MY decision-„ he started his sentence but was interrupted.

“Yes, and so it is mine to stay with you so give me that fucking thing. I am sick of you thinking you could just run away from me, what is you problem!? You are perfect to me and if you want or not I will always stick with you and follow you every step and way you go..”

Jackson had to think about that first. Yugyeom was always willing to help him and take care of him. He loved that boy more than himself.

“Alright. If you really want to do this with me, we will do this. Tomorrow, on our anniversary day.”

Both of them agreed on that.

- Admin Se 💕