#Psychiatrist switched my meds

[curioscurio]

Quick Update Post:

Got my antidepressant dose doubled about a month ago and didn't feel any different until a couple of days ago where I suddenly noticed things were clicking again. Like my brain started working like it used to work again? like 2-ish years ago. im not like at a normal or comfortable level yet of Not Depressed tm, but it was a pretty significant Click in a positive direction i think !

[hypervoxel]

hiya, for your ask game: 🍬🍄❄️🧩. love to stalk your blog by the way <3

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Gotta be honest, once I get into a fandom I will leave the main tags as soon as I find my niche and a group of blogs to follow and a few Discord servers to join, and not venture out into the main fandom again. Idk what's popular. I have complained about many takes, but I am also very forgetful so.... Uh, Vox is asexual, Alastor is actually a terrible person (affectionate), Valentino absolutely has a tragic backstory (and is still so evil <3 ), Velvette is literally The Worst and kinda a pick-me girl (I love her), Charlie doesn't understand how to help people and it is detrimental to the people she's trying to help (I also love her). Carmilla is so ridiculous and I don't understand shipping her with Velvette. I don't get Husk (derogatory, but only slightly and mostly in a 'I don't think his writing was consistent, and he was used - as many characters on this series were - as more of a plot device than a complete character in his own right. His dialogue was thrown in to tell-not-show aspects of other characters in a way that felt inorganic to me, which turned me off of his character almost completely' way). Boom, there, so many unpopular opinions <3

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Velvette is so connected to phones and apps and things of that modern tech nature. Therefore: Velvette also broadcasts and recieves radio waves, but only those in the Bluetooth spectrum. She can AirDrop memes onto Vox's face (or, in canon, call his TV head directly, bypassing his phone). Vox is so absolutely not replacing the quiet ease he and Alastor used to share with their similar thinking/perceiving/broadcasting methods (it's alll radio waves) with Velvette. Totally. Totally. His past relationships would never~ cloud how he treats her.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

Well first of all Me I'm writing it!! So incredibly slowly and badly, but I am writing it nonetheless 😤 I actually have two or three or a dozen ideal dream ideas rattling around in my brain. Obviously, my beloved Damaged Nerve where I throw 20 ideas I enjoy together into one fic (or at least talk about doing that bc. I am always getting distracted instead of updating it). Service shark Vark!!! The VoxVal non-consenual consensual non-consent (it makes sense to me)! Velvette!! Vox killing angels with his bare hands! And getting an arm and half his head cut off (he gets better immediately bc he is all easily replaceable parts)! Charlie and Vaggie watching a Sinner attacking Exorcists right before Charlie was supposed to present her rehabilitation project and having to defend ideas, which is suddenly made even more difficult for her because now it looks like Overlords are planning to fight back against the Exterminations, and he didn't win but neither did the angels, so maybe Hell can fight back against Heaven (wasn't that why the Exterminations happen? Because Heaven is afraid of them uprising? Well, maybe they should be afraid...) Vaggie fallen angel feelings (those were her sisters and she's so bitter about them and she's so scared for them)! The timeline of Exterminations being moved up and Vox getting blamed for it! (Sinners who were previously excited about what he did turn against him bc of the backlash from Heaven and from other Sinners.) Carmilla hating the Vees! Inane and uniformed, smug wannabes! (She still killed an Exorcist for real tho, and Vox only wounded the ones he fought. She thinks she's better than him because she fought to protect the people she loves. Vox literally also did that, except it wasn't people it was a shark. She'd hate that too.) VoxVal horrible terrible no good very unhealthy relationship! VoxValVel also horrible relationship <3 They love each other, they can't live without each other <3 None of them are allowed to leave this ship, even when it's sinking <3 Vox won't lose a partner again; no one else can leave him like Alastor did.

But right now I've been working on a Vox & The Vees-centric rape recovery (or, well, there's not much recovery happening yet. It is just a long and drawn out breakdown where they madly scramble to resecure their power and influence and become more powerful so no one can ever hurt any of them again, and become so codependent) fic and it is everything to me and I do not have it really plotted out, I just have so many Thoughts and vaguely connected scenes for it that I bother people on discord with (hi to any people on discord reading this. Thank u for listening <3 )

Also I am (thanks to your ask about Vox's biology from earlier), daydreaming about a fic I have lovingly named Planned Obsolescence (tho I'm gonna have to make sure no one's taken that title yet) about Vox upgrading himself and upgrading himself and upgrading himself and he can never stay satisfied because the world marches on and he has to march with it, he can't be left behind because he needs to be the one innovating and leading. And upgrading himself.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Look I'm looking for things that are so specific that if a fic looks like it might be somewhat about what I want, I'll read it. I will click away if you call Alastor a w*ndigo tho.

Wait I thought of something else and then this next part got long and it's also about rape, so I'm throwing it behind a read more

Also!! Holy fuck I just remembered but I've run into it twice now. The Implication that rape is worse when it happens to someone who is already sex repulsed. Like specifically in these scenarios the rape was not a punishment not an attempt at corrective rape. Like, that I would get, actually, if the motivation itself was a hate crime, which adds a whole other dimension to worry about. But, no. That wasn't. I can't even articulate the poor taste it left in my mouth, it's just. Why would you make a character more horrified to learn their friend was raped after they also learned that their friend is ace? "He never would have wanted it-" hello?????? Yeah! That's why it's called rape????

(But also - while I do absolutely love reading about sex repulsed aro/ace characters (lol they're so me) - oftentimes a big part of what I am looking for in a story about rape recovery is a character struggling with the fact that their body did "enjoy" the physical sensation. That sex is supposed to happen with someone you love/are attracted to/trust, and this was a perversion of it, and it fucks up how you view future sexual relationships.) (And like, the physical sensation being pleasurable while your mind feels only disgust and repulsed is. An aspect that I feel like many can relate to, not only sex repulsed aces. Unless I'm projecting??) (Of course, recovery from the perspective of a character who was sex repulsed and remains so is also so so good.) (In general, it's a topic that needs to be portrayed with a kind of nuance and understanding that is often hard for an author to find the right words for. I'm sure I've even written thing poorly here, and inevitably said something that will be hurtful to a person with a different perspective than my own. Sorry! But such is the reality of everyone being individuals, unfortunately. The things that bring some people comfort will cause other people distress.)

[jewishfalin]

Why do so many psychiatrists love to gaslight. Okay, Hannibal Lecture.

If I had a nickel for every time a psychiatrist straight up told me lies I would have too fucking many and that's a problem.

[caitas-cooing]

I walk slowly when I'm on my own

(do you feel alive)

Yeah but frankly I still feel alone

(oh but you'll survive)

[dudefrommywesterns]

i just feel so bad. i've felt so bad for so long and it's not improving.

[raspberryconverse]

Welp, I did it, folks. I contacted a new doctor (technically she is a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner with a DNP) to get my meds tweaked. Thank god for Psychology Today's website with an email form because lord knows I wouldn't have done it otherwise.

Also, she sounds really awesome if only for this:

[oblivious-troll]

Okay!! Good news! I'm officially going back in therapy (Had a very cool 'intervention' and I was maybe in denial about my declining health)

So I should stop venting here, lmao 🤣

[dialo]

i should have taken more classes this summer i’m so BOREDDDDD

[frmulcahy]

Me yesterday: *depressed to the point of lethargy, had to call out of work, could barely take care of myself and the pets*

Me today, after forcing myself to put on clothes and go get coffee: I am so normal I need to clean my entire room now

[aropride]

found one ritalin in my bag. i miss her every day…

[transingthoseformers]

For context guys

I am entirely unmedicated right now, so I'm absolutely ofzhkhfxjvfittoeykrydkfud

[mayumania]

its very probable im going to the ward soon and my therapist is all concerned and telling me to call/keep her updated meanwhile my psychiatrist told me on thursday “ill get back to you later today” and ive heard nothing back (she does this all the time) but i did get a $200 bill from her office!

[vamptastic]

will probably need to find a therapist up in [redacted] now and idk where to even start im so used to the search being just is this person going to try conversion therapy and/or regular religious conversion on me. no? on the list. and then call the ten people on my insurance and find out only one of them has available slots, then done. now it's like oh all these people r normal and i have the option to care about what times work best and location and stuff. too much work -_-

[bun-parade]

Jesus CHRIST my mom's undiagnosed and untreated ADHD drives me absolutely nuts. I ask her to do one (1) very important task for me, triple checked that she actually has the time and energy to do it, and she says yes. And then 2 days go by and of course she fucking forgot to do it. Even though I had been texting and emailing her to remind her to do it.

I finally called her and she's like "Oh I got distracted." Yeah no SHIT.

[scarletcomet]

i am so tired but i really don’t have time to sleep for another 2 weeks :(

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I broke up with my girlfriend for not taking her meds?

My (24M) girlfriend (28F) has bipolar and BPD. We've been together coming up on 3 years now. For the last half a year we were together it was pretty rough and turbulent, she was unmedicated and was having suicidal breakdowns almost every day, ended up in hospital several times, threatened and got into physical altercations with other girls who spoke to me or she thought were flirting with me, and I was spending almost every single day of my life having to take hours to talk her down from suicide or self-harm. It was emotionally exhausting and as someone who's also had suicide attempts in the past it was also incredibly triggering and damaging to my own mental health.

For additional context as to why I feel the way I do, my last girlfriend also had diagnosed BPD and NPD and when she stopped taking her medication she became fully abusive both physically and verbally and it took me a year of being absolutely beaten down to finally snap and leave her.

(Obvious note: I'm not saying everyone with bipolar, BPD, or NPD is abusive or that these illnesses inherently make you abusive. They were an abuser who just happened to have those things, and that played into how they acted and thought/felt.)

Current girlfriend eventually got medication and has been doing much better for most of the time since then. When she's on her meds she's a wonderful and generally pretty healthy partner - she's supportive, understanding of my boundaries, checks in with me, she's a year clean from self-harm, hasn't displayed any kind of self-destructive behaviour. She's gotten a job and managed to hold it down (got fired from several jobs in the past because of her daily meltdowns meaning she wasn't attending work), she's started exercising and going to the gym, she's picked up new hobbies, made new friends, she's just been doing great in general.

For about the past month though, she started going days without taking her medication and when I reminded her she would say she didn't want to, that she hated taking it, that she doesn't like the way it makes her feel etc. This is something my last girlfriend said too, and I know it's really common for people with BPD (and maybe bipolar too?) to stop taking their medication because they feel emotionally flat in comparison to how they feel off of the meds. I pretty much said that I couldn't handle going back to how she acts when she's off of the medication again and that if she was going to stop taking them then I didn't think our relationship would last through that kind of period again because last time it completely destroyed my mental health, my sleep, my life and several of my relationships due to how much energy and time I was having to put into her vs. myself and everything else. I suggested asking her doctor/psychiatrist/etc. for another dosage change or meds switch again to see if that would work better (though up until recently they have seemed to be working great so I'm not sure how good of an idea switching it up again would be).

She agreed at the time but I was kind of concerned about whether she'd been keeping up with it or not because over the last few weeks I've already noticed things devolving again - her screaming at me out of nowhere and having mood swings, intense jealousy and possessiveness, impulsive behaviour, even a couple of breakdowns again and having to talk her out of self-harm for the first time in over a year. True enough, today I found out she's been pretending to take her medication and throwing them out. When I confronted her about it she admitted she hasn't taken her medication for weeks.

I pretty much withdrew after that and didn't say anything at that moment but after a while she asked me why I was being so quiet and I basically repeated what I'd said to her in the last conversation, that I was honestly rethinking whether or not the relationship would work because I can't handle that kind of emotional exhaustion and constant sacrifice all over again. I don't mind some emotional support and some labour of love in a relationship because of course I'm going to need to look out for her mental health and reassure and comfort sometimes, that's the reality of loving someone who struggles, but I can't do it 24/7 again. I can't once again put talking her down for hours every day and weathering screaming and violent lashing out all the time at the expense of even my own basic needs and my own mental health struggles (for example my c-PTSD from my last relationship).

When I said that she got very very upset and basically said I was forcing her to choose between me and freedom or being able to live a normal/unmedicated life (which I mean, I guess I can't argue with because in a way I am making her choose between me and stopping her meds), and that I couldn't control her like that. I told her I wasn't doing it to control her and that if she's really determined to go off of them she could, but that I would have to make my own personal choice to walk away as a result of it for my own sake.

She said she'd think about it but ever since that conversation I've been going back and forth in my head on how much of a dick move it would be to flat out just do a black-and-white "Either you stay on your meds and regulate your behaviour or I leave"

TL;DR Girlfriend wants to go off of her medication, but when she's off her meds she has almost daily suicidal breakdowns and lashes out at me physically and verbally. WIBTA if I broke up with her if she goes ahead with stopping?

What are these acronyms?