#Ratchet has prepared for Things including podcasts to keep the kid entertained

[witchofthesouls]

Because I love the TFP!Other!AU, here’s more shenanigans.

:: Ratchet. :: Bulkhead commed.

:: Bulkhead, I’m busy. And nothing better be broken in that room. ::

:: Do humans have crotch unicorns? ::

“WHAT!?”

___________

Raf complained for a moment in his arm before tucking back into sleep. The tiny dragon didn’t like it when he hauled the newspark by the scruff and booked it to the open area, but Ratchet refused to leave the metal-eater unattended by his welding equipment.

The sparklings were curled upon the nest of scavenged cushions. Ravens squawked at the medic’s run, glossy feathers ruffling before back down into Jack’s neck. Miko was chewing on her plushie, the material squeaking with every bite. Both of them deeply fascinated by the TV as was Bulkhead but with morbid curiosity and horrified disgust.

On the screen, there was a dissected teddy bear with actual organs with soft piano music and calm narration over the “surgeon” taking a scalpel into something soft and squishy: “What is wrong with teddy’s courage? The doctor looks inside teddy’s courage sack.”

Bulkhead made a high-pitched noise as a gloved hand pulled out cockroaches from the spilling organ. “Oh look, teddy is riddled with fear. He is afraid. Look at what fear does to your courage sack!” 

“Poor teddy,” Jack said, stroking a raven in his lap. Red eyes glinting and feathers warping as it chuffed and allowed metal fingers to scratch its head. “That’s too much fear for a little thing.”

Miko’s squeak get faster, wings flicking.

“No. The doctor replaces with it curiosity, but Chickadee says a little fear is good for your health.”

“Where’s the remote!?” Ratchet shouted. Of course, the screen paused when the “doctor” was searching the massive heart that was far larger than the toy itself. 

“Aww, we didn’t see teddy’s heart’s heart.”

“No. No more. This was supposed to be an animal playlist.” Ratchet clicked back, eyeing the channel name: Ze Frank and the numerous True Facts videos.

“But bears are animals,” Jack wheedled.

“Kid got you there.” Bulkhead commented.

“Don’t you dare start with me,” Ratchet pointed his digit to the Wrecker and then turned to sparklings. “Alright, shower time. Up, up, up.”

Miko shrieked excitedly at her favorite set of words, dashing away and leaving behind a fluttering mess of blankets and a well-chewed squishmallow that every so slowly plumped itself back its original shape. Both of the mechs quietly shuddered at it. Her squeals echoed throughout the base as she raced to the shower rack. 

Jack hopped down and silently landed with a quick use of anti-gravs, following at a far more leisurely pace by the medic’s side. Bulkhead already pulled ahead to keep Miko from swinging from the water locks, utilized due to the incident of the pink-plated femme flooding the base when everyone else was asleep or focused elsewhere.

“Can we listen to the radio in there?”

“That’s fine.” Ratchet replied, absentmindedly readjusting Raft as the Predacon sneezed.

“Can I choose the station?”

Ratchet internally winced because Jack had a peculiar talent of tuning into nonexistent stations -ominous words, weather reports that were stranger songs, and senses left lopsided with cold sweats, insomnia, and, in Bumblebee’s case, the inability to speak in nothing but clips by the hosts’ voices or a disturbing tone of white noise.

“Not this time, there’s a podcast I want to catch up on.”