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taylunae · 5 years

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My thoughts on Unbelievable so far...

Hi, 2021 Crescent here. I happen to come across this post on my blog, and as I was rereading realized how problematic it was. Where are the trigger warnings? Why was I throwing around the word r*pe so much? It's clear that I was new to fandom, and I've learned so much since then about being sensitive to others, so instead of just deleting this post, I'd like to give it another crack. To show to myself how much we've changed since 2019. Alright, here we go.

⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️ discussions of SA

I've been watching a lot of TV lately. A lot. And I've been finding myself noticing the different ways that various TV shows are set up. You know, things like structure, main characters, presentation.

It's not very often that I can truly appreciate the presentation about a show. I mean, we all know I love Riverdale (I don't anymore) and it's an absolute dumpster fire of a show but that's not why I watch it. I don't watch Riverdale for the presentation, I watch it for the characters. (To be fair, I still like the characters, but I could only watch a writers room full of men make horrible decisions about characterization for so long before I had to dip) But, I digress.

But I'm watching this new show on Netflix, Unbelievable. And the depth and attention to detail is astounding me. The way that they are setting up the show is so artfully done that it actually amazes me. You begin to the show thinking that the main character is going to be Marie. But as the show progresses, you realize maybe the main character is Detective Duvall. And then Detective Rasmussen. And then you realize "oh it's not any of those." It's a hybrid of the story of two female detectives who are going above and beyond to solve an impossible mystery.

And I thought that this was going to be something that trivialised rape SA with young women. But it doesn't. It is The show talks about rape SA in a way that I'm sure every woman feels about rape SA. It's not playing it off as some awful thing that just happens. They don't say oh well. (That isn't completely true. I failed to mention that some of the characters do have this reaction, and that's what makes the determination of the detectives that take the case all the more validating) Even with one character who feels like she's forced to admit that she made a false report. That (referring to false accusations being sensationalized in media, which was incredibly common during the Me Too movement) is something fat that is in the media all the time but as they build the story you realize but that you can see this whole new perspective from women who report rape SA and then later come out to say that it was a false accusation. (I don't like that I said "new perspective" here. I think a more accurate description would have been a new perspective for me. Because this isn't a new perspective for some women, it's a very common thing that happens.)

In fact, that's one of my greatest fears about rape SA. Not that it will scar me for life. Or that I won't be the same person. Because I know those things are true. If that were to ever happen to me, I know that it will change me on a molecular level. The worst fear that I have about potentially being raped SA is the fact that if you're strong enough (this isn't about strength, it's about support. I remember I used to feel this way about SA. That is you didn't report it, you just weren't strong enough. Fuck that. All women are strong. This is such pick me, fucked up language that had been ingrained into me from living in a small town my entire life. Reporting SA isn't about strength. It's about the community you have behind you, and the people you keep beside you. Supported people can do hard things things) stand up for yourself, there are going to be people who say you made it up. And this show so artfully portrays that perspective.

And every other perspective. It's so well thought-out. And yeah, it's hard to watch. But it's worth the time. (This is one thing I got 100% right. This show is hard to stomach, and I still think about it two years later. I haven't rewatched, I don't think I could now knowing what I know about myself. Maybe I wouldn't like it this time around. But I'm glad I watched it then, it was worth my time.)

** okay, so some final thoughts from 2021 Tate**

I think the reason I had such a visceral reaction to my analysis, however juvenile it was, of the show is because since then I have done extensive work on myself through therapy. Through this therapy, something that we always came back to and talked about was my inherent fear of men. And we talked about how, to my belief, it was always something that had been a part of me.

We worked on that. And we came back to that. A lot. And one night it hit me. I had been preparing a lecture that I had to give to my students the next day about r*pe culture and how it affects the books that we read and something that I always do, because I teach in a small community, is I prepare for the worst, most bigoted statements that I can think of that my students might say and I pre-planned thoughtful, caring answers that restated my boundaries and corrected them to using gentler language to express their curiosity.

While I was doing this I happened to think about something that had happened to me when I was in high school that I had always looked at in a light of "oh that's a funny story to tell." But because I was already studying SA in depth with my students it was at the forefront of my mind, and it was then that I realized that what happened to me at a party in Grade 10 wasn't a funny story, I had experienced sexual assault. And if there was one thing that 2019 me got right was that it did change me.

Because that's when my fear of men started. I could almost pinpoint it to the day.

That's when I started being more cautious.

That's when my anxiety got unmanageable.

Once I had realized this, I immediately reached out to both my mom and my husband and told them about how I thought that I had been sexually assaulted. And just like I feared one of those people didn't believe me at first and required me to validate why I thought that it happened to me. My mother is an amazing person, and one of the most supportive people in my life. However, she also was taught about SA through a male gaze. She had never had somebody as close to her as I am tell her that that it happened to them. And unlike what I thought, it wasn't the worst thing that could happen to me. I had the opportunity to educate somebody else about exactly what SA means and entails. She cried with me and for me. She told me she loved me. And that was enough.

My husband came home from work that night looking lost. He had heard the story before. I used to tell it as a joke at parties. Yet, he came home and he wrapped me up in a hug and he said "I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry that I didn't realize it was wrong until you did."

So like I said earlier. It's about support. I think about some of my earlier comments about how I used to know that if I was ever sexually assaulted it would ruin my life and scar me forever. About how I know that it would change me and I would never be the same.

But I've grown since then. I worked through this realization with my therapist for months. As I've grown, I've come to know other women who have experienced something similar to, or worse than, what I did, and I've noticed something. Did it change who we are? Of course. Am I scarred for life? No. I'm finding that no, I'm not. Did it change who I was on a molecular level? No. It changed me. It made me fearful, for a while. But I was going to change anyways. And I wish that I could have changed without experiencing something horrible, but I am stronger because of it. I'm not saying I'm grateful for my sexual assault, but I am grateful for the lessons I've learned since then.

I was just a child back then, and I didn't know anything about boundaries and how to assert myself or how to say no. But I've learned those things now, and I'm not afraid of men anymore. I wish that I had been taught those things then.

That contrary to what 2019 me thought, despite my realization of my SA, I'm okay. My life hasn't changed that much. And I know that I'm one of the lucky ones, in terms of severity. I know that I walked away and that means that I was lucky.

I'm realizing now that there are more nefarious things at play in our society. What started out as something small, the Me Too movement is now a global movement. And it has helped women all over the world. In 2019, I didn't think that we would live in a world where when somebody had sexual assault allegations put up against them, we dropped those people from sponsorships, and stopped carrying their shows on n*tflix. I never thought that we would live in a world like that, but we do. We don't stand for men who don't respect women, and we certainly don't support them and give them our money.

What's happening in Texas right now with the Ab*rtion Act that is being put out is exactly the kind of thing that will happen if we stay silent. However, it is amazing to know that if we speak out through our social medias and write to our MLAs and Senators that we can make change. We don't sit back and let injustices happen like we used to. We fight, and we set our boundaries, and we say no. And it is making a difference. And sometimes we all need that reminder.

#unbelievable spoilers #tate rambles

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tamzaraaaa-blog · 4 years

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Artifacts that show growth: Top 10 Blog posts and Top 5 blog post responses

TOP 10 BLOG POSTS (DESCENDING ORDER)

Connecting the Dots:

This summer I read the book The souls of the black folk by W.E.B Dubois. It was a book that mainly one of the many problems of the 20th century; "the color-line". He writes from the perspective of an African American man struggling to earn his rights. He continuously expresses his views on living life at the mercy of your race.

He mostly focuses on the regressions caused by the emancipation proclamation especially in the south. He also writes about the establishment of Freedman's Bureau and its role in the reconstruction of the nation after the civil war. He centers his book around to themes; the idea of "double consciousness" and "the Veil". Double Consciousness refers to the idea that every African American must live with the struggle of balancing two inconsistent identities that can't be combined. They must balance their ideal "American identities" with the black experience that they inherited from the remnants of their ancestors who were born into slavery. This compliments the second theme of living under "the veil". He describes the theory of "the veil" in terms of living on the other side of the color line. He stresses he importance of the black experiences and how that experience can only be gained from living on the other side of the color line.

It was hard for me to find a connection with this book because I have never truly experienced what it's like to live on the other side of the color line. I do however, know the significance of the black experience and how it affected those who came before me. This book did not really challenge my beliefs but it did enhance them. One challenge narrated in this book was the struggle of balancing both identities and I was able to connect with that theory. Having to incorporate both the ideal American identity with the black experience in their daily lives is a struggle I can relate to even though they had to do it while under the prejudice of living behind the color line. From this book, I was able to learn what it truly means to earn the black experience and how difficult it was to live under "the veil" while still trying to achieve the ideal standards of an "American Identity".

Making Meaning from the News:

This article was about a sexual harassment claim filed by Shailja Patel against Tony Mochama. Patel claimed that writer and journalist, Tony Mochama, had sexually assaulted her at an event. She quickly took to various social media platforms to tell her story and never shied from public bashing Mochama every chance she got. Soon after these allegations took to twitter and took a large toll on Mochama's career. He claims he lost scholarships, guest lectures, business opportunities, friends and many more. Due to the backlash he faced, Mochama decided to sue Patel for her "false allegations". He ended up wining the case in which Patel was forced to pay a 9 million shilling fine and officially apologize to Mochama. She refused to do and went into a self imposed exile claiming she would rather go into exile than apologize to Mochama. Patel was very quick to take to social media to tell her story. She told majority of it on twitter. Along with Ms Wambui Mwangi, she took to twitter to publicly bash Mochama and ruin his otherwise perfect reputation. The only thing she failed to do was file an actual police report, reporting his actions. She never filed a case and never went to the police about it. There is currently an ongoing debate on whether Patel was telling the truth because if she should have gone to the police first. This issue arrived when he decided to sue her and even then she neglected to counter sue him. The opposing side of this debate sympathizes with Patel and understands the struggle of coming forward about an assault. They argue that the act itself is hard enough on women, it is often even more traumatizing to be degraded in court. She also appealed o our sympathy when she claimed she would rather go into exile than have to apologize to Mochama for what he did to her. As for my perspective, I want to believe that Patel is being honest. There have been a few other reports regarding Mochama's aggressive behavior towards women and a few of his friends have suggested that these allegations could be true about him. Even his wife left him after hearing all of this. The one thing I think she should have done differently is she should have gone directly to the police when it happened. Even if she delayed a bit on that she should have at least countersued him when he sued her. Overall I think Patel was telling the truth I just think she went about it the wrong way.

Learning from Writing Mentors:

Stephen King starts of this book by explaining to us some of his earliest childhood memories. He makes it a point to focus on what he thought was his most painful childhood experience. He compares that single experience to many others and claims nothing came close in comparison to the pain he felt on that day. This is how he uses the rhetorical appeal of ethos. Rather than start the book off with facts and advice he chose to give us insight on what his childhood was like and how significant it was in his journey as a writer. He uses a very light hearted voice during the first couple chapters because this is when he is describing his childhood to us.

One very useful piece of advice he gave concerned the knowledge behind good story ideas. He said there were no short cuts to finding good story ideas. They seem to appear from void. It is not our job to create these "good story idea' but to recognize them when they show up. It's as if he is saying that we are constantly plagued with good story ideas but in order to become a decent writer, we have to recognize the good ideas when they come. This is a strategy I will definitely be incorporating into my writing. Conjuring up a good idea can be a challenge but when it hits you, it often hits ant the most random times. The challenge for me will be to wait until a good idea hits me. I'm a very fast-paced person and not a very patient one so he concept of awaiting a good idea is very foreign and quite simply unrealistic to me. It will be a very big challenge for me.

What's Education For? Education can be a very complex and sometimes prejudiced system of learning. As shown in the article "Best in Class" by Margaret Talbot, in education is what leads to a prosperous future but, at what cost? The idea that education is the only thing that leads to a prosperous future is an idea that has been stressed globally across multiple schools but success comes at a cost. As per my opinion, the problem with the education system is it has lost track of the true meaning of education. School has stopped becoming about learning. Students now focus their attention on passing instead of actively absorbing the materials taught. This is mainly a result of the common belief that success can only be achieved through a higher education. As shown in the documentary, school comes with a lot of academic stress and sometimes parental pressure. Idris' father was very hard on him when it came to his scholarly achievements and Seun had to leave Dalton after failing a class due to academic stress and a little prejudice. I think we need to work towards reforming the education system so that kids can once again feel the joy of learning. A lot of academic stress comes from the pressure of homework. I can understand why some teachers assign homework and why it can be essential to our education but an over supply of this becomes taxing and tedious. It would be beneficial to students if we did not receive as much work as we do now because, this results in students driving to complete their work rather than learn from it. It would also be beneficial to do more interactive activities within the classroom so that we can eliminate our workload after school and have more time in class to resolve any inquiries we may have.

News Evaluation 2: Shooting at South Carolina Bar leaves 2 dead and 8 wounded

The shooting happened early Saturday morning near Lancaster, South Carolina. The shooting occurred at around 2:45 am and it was said that the gunman was still at large. 10 people were shot. Two people were killed and 8 were injured in this tragic act of terrorism. The motive of the shooter was unclear but it was thought to have been a result of local conflict. The Sheriff declined to discuss the incident but, he said that one of the victims that was killed was involved in the local conflict that had been occurring for a couple of months. I think this is a horrible act of terrorism and no "local dispute" can excuse the act of intentionally harming nearly a dozen people. Of course, this goes back to the issue of gun laws in the U.S. I do believe stricter gun laws are what we need to keep situations like this from happening again. This is only one of multiple mass shootings that have occurred recently and the only solution I see is restricting the usage of guns. Unfortunately, I find that the reason stricter gun laws have not been incorporated into the legislature is because the republican party is largely funded by the National Riffle Association (NRA). Because of this, the government is hesitant to abolish the second amendment even if It means multiple losses of innocent lives.

News Evaluation 3: Italy to lend Leonardo Da Vinci works to France in a Masterpiece Swap

Da Vinci's famous drawing Vitruvian man will soon be transported to Paris to participate in a block buster Leonardo da Vinci art exhibition at the Louvre. The Vitruvian man is a drawing that exhibits the study of the proportions of the human body. However, it is only one in a series of art works that museums in Italy are transporting over to the Louvre. This art show will mark the 500th anniversary of the Renaissance master's death. As part of the exchange, the Louvre has agreed to transfer over several masterpieces made by another Renaissance master; Raphael. These masterpieces include "Self Portrait with a friend" and "Portrait of Baldassarre Castiglione". Both parties treat this as a sort of exchange of cultures. At first, a diplomatic dispute broke out between the two countries over the issue of sending over multiple of Davinci's pieces during a major anniversary year. The Italian undersecretary for culture claimed "Leonardo was Italian and he only died in France." It wasn't until later that both countries cultural ministers began working towards reconciliation and claimed "Now more than ever , it is essential for culture to be at the heart of European policies both because it is a tool for creating a shared sense of citizenship, and because it is a great opportunity for economic growth." I agree with this statement. An exchange of paintings like this not only stimulates cultural and economic growth on both parties but it also helps honors the Renaissance artist for their marvelous work. An exchange such as this one should liberate the world of art and revere the creators of such beautiful masterpieces. Da Vinci may have only died in France but that connects him to the cultural world of France. Not only did Leonardo die in France but the Louvre in holds some of his finest and most recognizable work including the Mona Lisa and a portrait of a woman known as La Belle Ferrionnière. France was a major part of da Vinci's history as it was his final journey and resting place. Both France and Italy have chosen to honor that and in return, France agreed to send over some of Raphael's most exquisite pieces. I only wish I could be there to witness the 500th anniversary exhibit of Da Vinci.

Telling Stories: All the single Ladies In this article, the author describes her less than enjoyable experience at her best friends wedding. At the beginning, Doll describes to us the apprehension she felt when she heard a masculine voice say "All the single ladies to the dance floor". It was made clear in the next paragraph that she wasn't the only one with feelings of apprehension as her friend pulled her close and they devised a plan to go hide out in the washroom. Sadly it did not work. In the next couple of paragraphs she talks about her relationship with the bride and groom. The bride and her were apparently very close friends until she decided to marry a man that Doll simply could not approve of. She characterized her friends decision to get married by absolutely refusing to pick up the brides bouquet of flowers when it landed footsteps away from her during the bouquet toss. She saw it as an act of condoning and accepting the union of her best friend and this man and she simply could not do it. The structure of each paragraph in this article is very autonomous. Each paragraph describes different parts of the story while still providing us with the context we need to understand the article. This helps the article flow a bit more. As per her choice of word and her sentence structure it is clear she is using the rhetorical appeal of pathos to entice her readers. I feel like this, along with the independence of each paragraph, are what makes this article so captivating. The style of writing she uses reflects on how she wants us, as readers, to feel about her article.

Thank You For Arguing Reflection Throughout this chapter, and majority of this book, the author used a lot of pop cultural references as evidence to back up his claims. Particularly in chapters 12-13, Heinrich really goes in depth when describing useful argumentative tools. In these chapters he focused on learning and utilizing the skills of inductive and deductive logic. He successfully manages to explain to his readers the importance of beginning your argument with a very broad opening and then narrowing it down to specific facts (deductive logic) and beginning your argument with a very precise fact and then opening it up to a wider spectrum. However, the tool I found to be the most interesting while reading this book would be the art of finding a common place. Commonplaces are words and phrases that reflect the audience’s core values. This tool is crucial to arguments because it condenses a lot of complicated ideals into just a few seconds of material, enough to successfully gain the approval of your audience. Another interesting section of the book was in chapter 12 when the author listed several different approaches to an argument. Traditionally, the best way to defend an argument is through evidence. Unfortunately, I find some evidence is also really easy to counter-argue. If this is the cause you could always attempt to redefine the term and if that doesn't work, argue the importance of your opponents statements. So far, I have found that Thank You for Arguing is actually quite an enjoyable book. I a learning new tools and techniques to use not just in speech but also in my writing and overall, I am learning a lot more about argumentative tools and how to skillfully use them.

Is there a role for public shaming? Discuss. I absolutely do not agree with the concept of public shaming as a punishment. I agree, using a concept like public shaming as a method of punishment is actually a very effective punishment however, it does more harm both morally and socially than it does good. Take Monica Lewinsky for example. Shaming not only exposed what she did but it also made her vulnerable to various attacks online that diminished her sense of worth as a human being. As shown in the Scarlet Letter, both Dimmesdale and Hester experienced some form of shame. While Dimmesdale’s shame was mostly internal, Hester experienced full on public shaming in front of the whole town for her transgressions. Her punishment did not end there. After her release from prison, Hester was forced to bear the scarlet letter A on her dress so that everyone would know that she was an adulterer. In some sense, the punishment was successful but it was also a demoralizing and humiliating process that some people are not strong enough to handle. Yes, actions do have consequences and most of the time shaming is used as a ploy to keep people in check. However there must be a different way to achieve this goal without demoralizing anyone

TOP 5 COMMENTS

Connecting the dots: Hidden Figures

Having read this book before, I also loved their devotion to overcome racial and gender barriers. They were indeed very inspirational and worked tirelessly to ensure that women were never overlooked and were just as capable of achieving greatness as men were.

News Evaluation 2: Justin Trudeau: New video of Canada's PM in blackface

The act of blackface is horribly racist and very very offensive but I agree with you. Trudeau has changed and he has seen the errors of his ways. He has seen exactly how much of a bad decision he made doing this and acknowledged that rather than deny or try to defend his actions. Instead he took responsibility and apologized. Yes, blackface is a horribly racist act and should not go unpunished. He has already faced a lot of backlash from the media and his people and this has done quite a bit of damage to his campaign. I don't think we should dwell on something that happened so many years ago especially since he has acknowledged and apologized for his mistake.

News Evaluation 2: Ugandan President Museveni seeks mandatory death penalty for murders after nephew's slaying

I admire how you sympathized with Museveni. The loss of a family member is incredibly painful and my own heart goes out to him. I agree with what you said about Museveni thinking with his heart not his head. When it comes to the death penalty I feel like we, as humans, shouldn't be the ones to decide who lives and who dies. If someone is convicted because of murder, we shouldn't decide whether or not to take their life. It's not humane.

Making meaning from the News: Liu Yifei: Mulan boycott urged after star backs Hong Kong police

The controversial debate on whether or not it is considered culturally respectful for Disney to portray Mulan the way the original movie did it is a huge one. A lot of fans would like to see the original Mulan movie but unfortunately it highlights a lot of China's ancient cultural aspect so its hard to do that while still being respectful.

Learning from Writing Mentors: Bird by Bird - Anne Lamott I agree with the writers idea if abandoning perfectionism. I also struggle with this when it comes to my writing because I feel like everything I write has to live up to an unrealistic standard of perfection. I think its the same for most people. Perfection can be defined in multiple ways by multiple people so living up to this standard of perfection is basically impossible because everyones definition of perfection is different. We should just abandon it :)

EDUCATION TED TALK - SOAPSTONE ANALYSIS

Pathos - It is almost as if he tried to guilt us into believing his story/ sympathizing with his story

Ethos - In order to convince his audience he uses his personal experiences which makes him seem more knowledgable about the topic.

S - Roy Bunker O - The speaker visited a village and decided to complete his schooling there. He speaks of his experiences and his accomplishments A - All viewers of the Ted Talk P - He spoke not only to educate us on the matter of quality education, but also to describe the importance/unimportance of it. S - Education/various teaching methods/accomplishments are equally effective and higher education is meaningless if you don’t learn. Women have vast power in knowledge TONE - His tone was very authoritative and informative. He wanted us to see the proper value of education and all of his points were focused around the notion of importance in education.

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