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roseherondale · 4 years

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Kit Babysits Mina for the First Time

Summary: Kit babysits 8-month old Mina alone for the first time alone, and faces some trouble.

Word Count: 4404

Warnings: N/A

Read it on AO3 here

“Are you sure you don’t want us to cancel?” Jem regarded Kit with worry, but he just shook his head.

“You’ve had tickets for ages. We’ll be fine.” He promised, gesturing into the nursery where Mina was settled in her crib for her afternoon nap. Tessa emerged from within, beautifully dressed in a deep blue dress that reached her knees, and gently shooed them away from the door.

“If Kit says he’ll be fine, he’ll be fine.” She chided Jem softly, then turned to her adoptive son. “If you need anything you can call either or us or Magnus, okay?”

“I know, Tessa. We’ll be okay.” He knew she saw through his fake confidence, as she did with everything, and hugged him.

“Say the word and we’ll stay.” She whispered into his ear, giving him a final out. But Kit was a Herondale and they never gave up on a challenge. He just hugged her back tightly.

“Enjoy your play.”

“We will, thank you. Jem has never had the chance to see it and my other children had such a love for Oscar Wilde.” They were travelling to London to go to dinner and to see The Importance of Being Earnest, an Oscar Wilde play that Tessa had wanted to take Jem to see. She had told Kit many stories about her and Will’s children and her friends’ children, including Matthew Fairchild, her son James’ parabatai, and his dog, Mr. Oscar Wilde.

Jem stepped forward to hug him before they left. “We left a full list of instructions in the kitchen just in case. We know you know what you’re doing but it’s your first time babysitting alone, and it can’t hurt to be there just in case.”

“Thanks. Really, Jem, I’ll be okay. I’ve seen and helped you and Tessa do this every day.” Kit smiled, reassuringly.

“Okay, well thank you so much for your help today. We should be back by eleven. We love you.” Jem said and Tessa echoed him, placing a kiss on his forehead.

“Love you too.” Kit said. He had become a lot more comfortable with saying that, though he was sure that it was impossible to live with Jem and Tessa for a year and not love them. They were kind and attentive, and never made Kit feel pushed to the side, even though they had their own daughter. In a strange way, Kit was also theirs and he cherished the feeling of having parents who openly showed him affection.

They walked away from him, waving and disappeared around the corner of the corridor. Kit turned and headed back into the nursery, curling up in the armchair with the laptop Jem and Tessa had bought for him. She would be asleep for another hour, and although Jem and Tessa usually left the room for her naps, content to have the baby monitor beside them, Kit didn’t want to leave her side in case anything were to happen.

Magnus would have been there normally, with his and Alec’s children: Max and Rafe. Kit liked them too, not as much as Mina, but he often kept them entertained. Rafe was six and enjoyed playing with Lego. He was quiet, but content to sit and let Kit help him build castles and towers. Max was four, and too young for Lego, though at the age where he wanted to copy his brother, but Magnus and Alec had bought him some large building blocks which he played with happily. Kit would sit between them and help, keeping the kids entertained whilst Magnus caught up with Tessa and Jem.

However, Rafe had come down with a cold and Magnus was looking after him. He didn’t want to risk passing anything to Mina, and so had regretfully informed her that he couldn’t babysit. Tessa had seemed disappointed that they would have to cancel their dinner and theatre reservations, so Kit had stepped in and offered to look after Mina. It was something he hadn’t done before and the whole idea made him nervous. He loved looking after her, but was left with a constant fear that somehow, he would mess it up, like he did with everything else.

He watched part of a movie for a while with his earphones in, until he heard her moving around in her crib; a sure sign that she was waking up. Quietly closing the laptop and storing it under the chair so he wouldn’t stand on it. He leant over the crib, looking down at his little sister, who was wearing a top patterned with flowers, her dark hair messy.

“Hey Min-Min,” he whispered, and she stared up at him, large, dark eyes blinking slowly. “Hi, baby. Good afternoon.” He cooed in a way that he would be mortally embarrassed about if anyone, but Jem and Tessa had heard. “Do you want to go get some milk?”

She made a noise that sounded like “Ki-Ki” which Kit translated to mean “Kit-Kit” and was the way in which she addressed him. He gently lifted her and laid her on the changing table, to put her into a clean nappy. Once he had done, and dressed her in some leggings, he carried her down to the kitchen to make her some milk.

She clapped her hands, making happy noises as he carried her and he spoke to her the whole way down, mostly repetitions of her name and telling her that they were going to get some lunch. He remembered that Tessa had said about how talking to babies helped them feel secure.

They reached the kitchen, which was one of Kit’s favourite rooms in the house. Copper pots and pans hung from the wall alongside bunches of herbs drying from the garden. He placed Mina in her high-chair so she wouldn’t crawl away whilst he was warming her milk. His hand dragged across the wooden table. It was here that he sat when Tessa went into labour, and her nonchalance towards the situation freaked him out, it was here where he saw Livvy for the first time since Idris, here where he gave his mother’s heron necklace to Magnus to give to… He shook his head.

This was the table where he ate chocolate pastries that Jem bought him from the bakery, this was where he sat down for meals every night with his family, where he realised on his first night, how much he had missed out on family life before he moved here.

He took the bottle of milk from the fridge, where Tessa had prepared them earlier, and placed it in the electric bottle warmer Tessa had bought, excitedly, as it was a quicker method than warming it in water as she had done with her first two children. Kit chopped up half of a ripe banana as the milk warmed and placed it into one of Mina’s plastic bowls. He turned his attention back to Mina whilst he waited for the bottle to warm, chatting to her the whole time.

When the beep indicated that it was ready, Kit stood up, untangling his finger from her tiny fist. “It’s okay, Min-Min, I’m just going to get your milk for you.” He took the bottle out, shook it to ensure the temperature was the same throughout, and squirted a couple drops onto the inside of his wrist. It was warm; not too hot, and so he took it over to Mina.

“Here, baby, let me help you.” He tied a bib around her neck and then held the bottle out to her. She reached up and held onto it, taking it from him. She drank, thirstily, Kit keeping a watchful eye on her to ensure she didn’t choke on it. Once she had finished, he passed her the bowl of bananas and she giggled, grabbing them and pushing them into her mouth.

Kit pulled the notes that Tessa and Jem had left for him. He read through it all, checking that there was nothing he didn’t already know, and saw a note at the end.

Dearest Kit,

Thank you for helping us out, darling. We love you – you are a blessing. If you need any help (and admitting that is a sign of strength, not weakness), please call us or Magnus.

Good luck,

Love Tessa and Jem x

He felt his eyes water and immediately rubbed them. He was used to the kindness by now, but when they did simple things that showed him how much they cared, he was always surprised. He didn’t deserve all of this – he had been taken into a family and welcomed with open arms, and the fact that they trusted him with their daughter was so unexpected.

Mina was giggling over her bananas, her hands and face covered in a sticky mush.

“What mischief have you gotten up to, Min-Min?” He asked, humming as he used wet wipes to remove the mess from her. She laughed, happily, moving her arms up and down, tiny fists clenched. “How about we sit you down in the living room with some toys?” He suggested, hoisting her into his arms.

She kicked out with chubby legs, excited to be carried around by her brother but also at the age where she wanted to crawl everywhere. He smiled, placing her on the ground in the living room, and pulled out her toy box, placing some building blocks in front of her. They were some of his favourite toys to help her play with; she liked it when he built her castles to destroy.

He loved the living room. Above the fireplace, two paintings hung. One was of Will Herondale, his ancestor, Jem’s parabatai, and Tessa’s late husband. The other was of Tessa and Will’s two children, Lucie and James. On the top of the fireplace were several photographs of Tessa, Catarina and Magnus; of Tessa and Jem on their wedding day, of Mina when she was born, and his favourite: the four of them in the gardens of Cirenworth Hall, the house silhouetted behind them, taken by Clary, when Jace and his friends had visited in the summer. Mina was sat in Tessa’s arms and Kit was stood beside her, Jem behind him with his arms around his wife and his son. Kit had a copy of the photo in his bedroom.

For a while, things were fine. They built houses and she knocked them over, grinning and clapping her hands in delight, which, in turn, made Kit laugh with her. She picked up a brick, chewing on it and Kit tried to wrestle it from her, like he had seen Tessa do every day. However, when he finally got it away from her, she screwed up her face and began crying.

“Hey, Mina, it’s okay baby. Here, look at me, Min-Min, it’s okay. You can have it back; you just can’t chew it.” He said desperately, reaching across the bricks to her, but she pulled away from him. Her cries made him panic and want to cry too but he was the one in charge; he had to act like it.

“I’m a Shadowhunter,” he muttered to himself, “I fight demons, I can calm a crying child.” He stood up, and picked her up, so that her head was against his shoulder, and she beat her tiny legs against his stomach.

However, he was out of his depth. He had seen Tessa and Jem calm Mina with ease, but as he tried to rock her, she just screamed and hit at him with her fists.

Tessa and Jem shouldn’t have trusted him with their daughter. He felt his eyes well up. Kit had disappointed them, like he did with everyone else, and now he was going to have to face the consequences. They would send him away somewhere, maybe to the Shadowhunter Academy, and he would be all alone again.

He had to do something. Call Magnus or even Emma, so that they could fix this. He wasn’t cut out for it, and they had a lot more experience with kids. Of course, that would mean that Tessa and Jem would find out, and they would hate him.

His heartbeat quickened, and his breathing too, when suddenly, his attention focused onto the portraits. Will stared down at him, knowingly, and Kit’s eyes strayed down to their family photo in the centre of the mantlepiece. Tessa and Jem would never send him away. They may not be his actual parents, but they loved him much more than his father had, and they spent their time looking after him, and making him a part of their family.

He took a deep breath and calmed himself. Tessa had always said that telling Mina stories was a sure way to make her calm down. Kit cleared his throat and stared down at his sister.

“Alright, Min, I’m going to tell you a story, so you’re going to have to be quiet so that you can hear it.” He said, moving her slightly. Her cries seem to quiet slightly, and he let out a sigh of relief before he started his story.

“When I first moved here, before you were born, your mom and dad told me about my mom. They said she loved me so much that she had to leave me. Your parents had tried to help her, and she refused them, but she had this necklace. It was in the shape of a heron and your dad put a spell on it so that she could send a message to him if she needed to. For a long time, she didn’t, but then, she was attacked by some bad faeries and she was forced to. My mom… she passed away, but they kept the necklace.” Mira was crying still, though her tears fell silently. As he had been talking, he had brought her back to the nursery, where he drew the curtains, and placed her on the changing table. He changed her as he continued.

“They gave me the necklace and they told me about her and how she lived her whole life in hiding to protect me. I don’t remember her… Just vague memories of the song she used to sing. No, I’m not going to sing it,” he said as she looked up at him with wide wet eyes, “you’d wish I hadn’t.”

She giggled, thickly, even though she couldn’t understand what he had said, and Kit finished changing her, disposing of the nappy and wiping his hands with a wet wipe. He gently brushed away the tears from under her eyes and smiled at her.

“See, it wasn’t all so bad. You’re fine now, Min-Min.” She babbled at him, and he picked her up into his arms, pressing a kiss on her nose to make her laugh.

He took his sister back to the living room and pulled out the giant piano mat that they had. Jem had seen it and declared that he would try and teach his baby how to play. Mostly, she enjoyed crawling across it and Jem delightedly cheered her on, clutching Tessa’s arm and declaring that she would be the next Chopin. Kit thought that the most exciting part of the piano mat was Jem’s reactions and he secretly thought that Mina felt the same.

“Here you are, Min-Min. Compose a piece to show your dad later.” She giggled and crawled forwards. Kit had knelt beside her and absentmindedly hit some of the notes to make them clash or compliment each other. Every time he made them clash, Mina glared at him, pouting, and he was reminded of Jem.

Jace had been teaching him piano in the last year since he had left LA. It was something for them to do when he stayed at the Institute. He loved living with Jem and Tessa, they were definitely people he would consider as his parents, and his guilty feelings of replacing his own parents had gradually subsided with Tessa’s assurances that you can love more than one person without forgetting the rest. He had been visiting Jace a lot; he helped him with his fighting skills and took him on patrol. Kit had never been able to play an instrument before; his father thought it was a waste of time, and he wasn’t great at it, but he found himself enjoying it more than he had expected.

Jem and Tessa had unearthed an old piano for him and placed it in the newly renovated music room for him to practice. They respected and appreciated artistic, non-vital things, like music, unlike his father and encouraged him to pursue all of his interests, even if they weren’t related to being a Shadowhunter. It was a welcome change from LA with the Blackthorns where everything revolved around it. Kit liked the peace and quiet of Devon.

Mina had gotten bored of crawling around the piano mat, and had seized her stuffed giraffe, bouncing it on one note. Kit laughed, and drew her off the mat, and showed her an easy tune, moving her arm with the giraffe so that she would play it. She did and stared, wide-eyed, at him as if she didn’t know why the music sounded good. They kept doing it, until she dropped the giraffe.

She was easily bored and distracted, and Kit was more than happy to keep passing her different toys to entertain her. This time, she went for an animal puzzle where she placed wooden animal pieces into different sized holes. She had long since mastered the giraffe, which seemed to be her favourite animal, but she had trouble trying to place the lion in the meerkat hole and putting the elephant in the wrong way around.

He smiled as he watched her, finding it amusing the way she stared at the pieces with wonder, and then hit them against the bored repeatedly until they slotted in. Kit had never cared for babies, but Mina never failed to amuse him in the whole time she had been alive. Then again, Kit had never had a sister before, and he supposed that made her more interesting than a regular baby.

As dinner time fast approached, Kit carted Mina back into the kitchen. Tessa had prepared food for them in advance, and Kit heated up Mina’s sweet potato and chickpea mash, leaving it too cool so that it was warm, and then handed it to Mina with a spoon, after tying a bib around her neck, placing a small plastic cup of water beside her. She shovelled her food into her mouth. She was hungry, so she was more content to eat her food than make a mess with it.

Kit unwrapped his sandwiches and sat beside her, eating quickly. When she had finished, he wiped her face and brought her a yoghurt. He crunched on some crisps, and he washed the dishes quickly whilst she was preoccupied with her desert.

“Look at you, Min. Making such a mess.” He smiled, wiping her face again, and the tray of her high-chair. He placed her on the floor to crawl around, whilst he finished tidying the kitchen. At some point, Church wandered in, staring at Kit with wide yellow eyes whilst he prepared his food. Mina had tried to grab him, but used to her, Church had just jumped up onto a chair and then the table. This also gave him a better vantage point to watch Kit make his food.

“Ca-ca! Ca-ca!” Mina shouted, flapping her arms around. Kit understand that as baby speak for “cat” as she couldn’t yet pronounce Church.

“That’s right, Min. It’s Church the cat.” She babbled the same sounds again, and he clapped for her, making her copy him.

Church yowled in protest against the delay of his food and Kit hurried to finish spooning the meat onto his biscuits, whilst being judged by him, as usual. He placed the bowl on the floor where he ate, then scooped up Mina and took her away before she had a chance to crawl over to Church and bother him. Generally, he was fine with Mina; maybe sensing that Jem would be unhappy if he attacked her, or maybe it was because she was just so lovable, even the angriest cat in the world loved her. However, Kit didn’t trust him, given the amount if times he had growled at or attacked him.

Church started to eat, crouching down in front of the bowls, tail flicking slowly behind him to indicate that, although he was happy to be fed, he still didn’t like Kit. To protest, he stuck his tongue out at the cat’s back before leaving the room.

He took Mina to the bathroom adjacent to her nursery and ran a bath whilst she sat there, pulling out some toys. Watching her, through the door, so that he wouldn’t fill the bath up too much, he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her babbling to herself as she played with her giraffe.

He checked the temperature with a thermometer and made sure that the bathmat was secure, swirling the water around to avoid hot spots that could scald her. Kit brought her into the bathroom and washed her hands and face before undressing her and gently lowering her in. She was at an age where she could sit up properly on her own, but Kit was ready just in case she were to slip. The bathmat allowed her to avoid that, though, and he began to wash her.

Part way through, she splashed him with the water, soaking his grey t-shirt. He laughed, and gently flicked some at her arm. She stared at the spot where it hit her, with wide, confused eyes and then started giggling, hitting the water with her palms. Kit used one hand to wipe the water from his face.

“Oh Min-Min, you really are trouble. Your poor mum and dad won’t know what to do with you.” He joked, as he finished washing her. She giggled at him and her voice was squeaky.

“You’re like a mouse. Min-Min the mouse.” He imitated her, making a squeaking noise that made her clap her hands in delight.

Kit gently lifted her from the water and wrapped her in a soft, fluffy towel. He dried her, then carried her to the nursery to get her changed into her pyjamas.

“Ki-Ki!” She called.

“Hey, Min. We need to shush now, it’s nearly bedtime.” She let out a large yawn, as if he had reminded her that she was very tired, even though she couldn’t understand him properly yet.

“How about I finish my story?” He suggested, and she babbled in what he took as agreement. He swaddled her in and blanket and held her, as he sat in the chair.

Then, he continued his story. “Before my mum passed away, she gave me to my dad, and he looked after me. He wasn’t anything like your parents though, and I was unhappy. I made do though; I learnt a lot about the Shadow World through the Shadow Market. Then, one day, the protection spells around our house went down and he passed away too.” Kit didn’t expand on it. He didn’t think telling a baby about his father being murdered by demons would be a good bedtime story.

“Your parents saved me and took me to the LA Institute. They had some other things to do before they could come back and look after me. I made some friends there; Livvy and Ty, and later, Dru. I met my cousin, Jace. You know him; the one that looks a bit like me and is completely full of himself, and his girlfriend, Clary. She’s wonderful. I think you’ll really like her when you’re older. Basically, whilst I was living at the Institute, a bunch of things happened, and I chose to leave.”

Kit paused for a moment, thinking. “I’m glad I did. Things didn’t work out for me there, but I now have new parents who love me and the best little sister in the world.” He gently tickled her under her chin, and secured her as he stood, lowering her into the crib. Scooping the giraffe from the floor, he slipped it beside her, and she held onto it, then he placed the blanket her.

She yawned, sleepily, and Kit pressed a final goodnight kiss to her head, before retreating back to his chair. When her breathing had slowed into soft snores, he went to the bathroom to empty the bath and clean the water from the floor. Watching the water trickle away in a miniature wave pool, he considered what he had said to Mina.

He was happy he left LA. Sure, he missed the ocean and the Shadow Market, and Ty Blackthorn, but he would rather get another chance at a family than to mope around the Institute, knowing that Ty wouldn’t return his feelings.

Kit had a wonderful life in Devon, and he realised that it was what he had always needed. He had spent most of his time in LA watching the Blackthorns being a family, and until he got Tessa and Jem, he never truly understood what he had been missing, and he realised now, more than ever, that he couldn’t have fit into their family, like he had imagined doing.

Once the bathroom was dry, and the towels were hanging on the rack, he turned off the light and headed back to the nursery chair, cuddling up with a blanket, and continuing to watch the movie.

It was there that Tessa and Jem found him later, fast asleep, mouth slightly open, with his head on his shoulder. They checked on Mina and found her sleeping just as peacefully.

Kit woke up briefly, when Jem lifted him into his arms and carried him back to his bedroom, but promptly fell back to sleep before his head hit his pillow.

Jem covered him in his duvet and Tessa placed the laptop on his desk, then they both bent to give their son a kiss on his head, and Tessa paused to smooth out his golden curls.

“We were lucky to find him.” Jem remarked in a whisper.

“We were blessed.” Tessa corrected. “We have two beautiful children, and each other.” They stayed for a moment, watching Kit breathe, then they left, hand in hand.

Thank you for reading - I really hope you enjoyed! This little family warms my heart.

Let me know if you have any other fic ideas you want to see, about them or Kitty. xxx

#kit herondale #tessa gray #jem carstairs #mina carstairs #the dark artifices #ghosts of the shadow market #gotsm #tda #forever fallen #cassandra clare #my writing #my fanfic #fanfiction

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Old Review: M. Night Shyamalan’s Makes Another Happening

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Filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan has left his unmistakable stamp on some of our culture’s most primal fears: ghosts, beings from another world, and even unnamed monsters in the woods. Yet in his latest effort, the cryptically titled Old, the storyteller attempts to wrap his arms around the greatest terror of all: time itself.

Like the ticking clock inside Peter Pan’s crocodile, time has stalked every creature on this planet to their inevitable doom. It can often be ignored or compartmentalized, but it finds you in the end. Which is why, on paper, Old should be terrifying. By adapting a graphic novel called Sandcastle by Pierre-Oscar Lévy and Frederick Peeters, Shyamalan is attempting to prevent us from looking away. This is a film where once you step foot on a mythical beach, you will live a lifetime in a day. Who has time to distract themselves from the ravages of decay when it’ll be here by dinner?

And yet, that is not the movie Shyamalan made. Despite being a film supposedly preoccupied with the future that awaits us all, Old feels like a relic of its director’s past. For here is another half-baked and clumsily constructed series of clichés strung together by sequences which vary wildly from quality to kitsch, and from horrifying to hilarious. His characters might be rapidly aging, but the filmmaker’s undeniable talent feels as if it’s regressed back to its awkward and gangly The Happening days.

Also like that Mark Wahlberg misfire, Old is a story that mistakenly believes it’s obligated to overthink and explain its fairy tale logic. Which is a shame since the actual setup of the film is simple enough: Two sets of families, plus two other childless couples, are offered a once in a lifetime opportunity by their isolated island resort. They will be driven to the far side of the island where there’s a secluded beach surrounded by a cove with special minerals. Alone on white sandy shores and in the bluest waters, they can get to know each other and sample the good life.

There are more characters than are worth listing, but suffice to say the important ones are Guy, an actuary accountant played by Gael García Bernal, and his museum curator wife Prisca (Vicky Krieps). Despite being of separate international origins, they’ve raised the all-American nuclear family with daughter Maddox and son Trent (Alexa Swinton and Nolan River… at first), and are determined to give their children a happy childhood, even as their marriage appears to have long rested at the water’s edge. However, once they reach this magical beach populated by many other underdeveloped characters, it becomes an open question how happy a life can be had when their children rapidly age into teenagers and then young adults in the span of a morning… and that rich doctor down the way (Rufus Sewell) begins showing signs of late stage Alzheimer’s after only a few more hours.

Old is a genuinely creepy premise, which in the right hands could unnerve as the ultimate body horror. What instills more existential dread than seeing your youth turn to wrinkles, and golden halcyon days go gray inside of 90 minutes? But inexplicably that is not the movie Shyamalan chose to make. To be sure, there is some basic use of humans’ natural transmutations, but it’s mostly through the perspective of parents watching their children age like bananas. And credit should be given to the hair and makeup folks, as well as the younger actors, who convincingly pull off the continuity of Maddox and Trent’s accelerated lifespans.

But for each effective moment, such as when teenaged Maddox and Trent approach their parents confused and horrified at why their voices are different, there are five more of Guy, Prisca, and an ensemble of wildly inconsistent adult performances standing around trying to justify their film’s lunacy with laughable pseudo-science. Rather than delve into the ripe existential phobias that are growing around its cast like coconuts, Old is content with mostly coasting on being a Fantasy Island episode that adapts And Then There Were None—complete with a surprise killer running around. The movie thus plays less like an artist grappling with mortality than it does one slumming in B-movie trashiness.

And if The Happening should’ve taught Shyamalan and his audience anything, it’s that intentional trash has never been his forte. As with the revelation of why folks were killing themselves in The Happening, Old spends far too much time setting up a rationalization and an inevitable third act twist, which plays a bit like if at the end of The Birds, Alfred Hitchcock revealed the title creatures had been trained by a mad scientist down the shoreline. It’s unnecessary and, like so much else of the film, focused on the wrong questions. But then even the ideas that Old does concern itself with are haphazardly explored and articulated.

After proving he still has a gift for quirky and clever dialogue with films like Split, the perfunctory and ham-fisted nature of nearly every adult character interaction is baffling here. From on-the-nose lectures wherein parents tell their children in the first scene they’re too young for this and not old enough for that, to the robotic way in which Guy and Prisca unconvincingly talk about their marriage, the banality of the screenplay is as ceaseless as the sea. Framing and blocking for the camera is similarly roughshod throughout the movie. Sequences meant to evoke genuine horror—including a surprise pregnancy teased in the trailer—become outright giggle-inducing in their final execution. It’s in fact hard to think of any theatrical screening this summer with more laughs drifting through an auditorium.

By the time of its hokey and melodramatic finale, Old has collapsed on every level as a horror movie, but may have cemented its status as a cult midnight movie classic.

I take no joy in writing this. As someone who’s seen virtues in most Shyamalan movies, even damnable ones, it was a real pleasure to witness the “Shyamalanaissance” emerge in the wake of The Visit and Split. I even enjoy the autobiographical subtext the filmmaker inserted into Glass. But if those movies were a validation of his cinematic powers, then Old is the puddle waiting for him in the parking lot.

Old opens in theaters on Friday, July 23.

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radamazard · 5 years

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Ninovember Day 1 - Squad Goals

So guess who kinda spaced and had all their time just flyyy by and forgot to do any prep for this month? XD Welp, here I go anyway!

@ninovember

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Carapace was struggling to keep his laughter at bay. Now, of all times, he couldn’t afford to be caught. Not when three weeks of planning had gone into this. To his left Ladybug crouched, a slight smirk tugging at her lips as she held up her yoyo, recording the ridiculous sight before them.

Chat Noir lay napping upon the neighboring rooftop, having drifted off right as his patrol was coming to an end. Which was no accident, as they’d employed one Chloé Bourgeois, aka Queen Bee, to spend the whole day dragging Adrien around Paris, never once letting him rest. She now stood on his other side, feigning disinterest in this whole ‘childish affair’ and fooling exactly no one on that.

And looming over Chat, with the most devilish grin, stood Rena Rouge. In her left hand, a spray can of the nastiest can green dye Carapace had ever seen. Ladybug had spent a good week scouring every costume store around to find it.

“Sorry dude, it didn’t have to be this way,” Carapace whispered, mostly to himself as the spotted heroine crept closer to get a better shot. “There isn’t much I wouldn’t let ya get away with. But this? This is WAR.”

Bright blue eyes rolled, as Queen Bee snorted in amusement.

“Okay, like seriously, what the fuck did he do to get himself on Ladybug, the mangy fox AND your bad sides? I thought you’d like, forgive him for murder.”

“Oh, I would, QB. Anyone that ray of sunshine murdered probably had it coming and then some,” Carapace confirmed around a snicker that broke forth as Rena Rouge started spraying the sleeping hero’s hair.

“Then why the retribution?” she just had to ask, and from the look he was giving her, perhaps she didn’t want to know. Or better yet, Queen Bee thought, she best not defend him. Or it would be her hair on the line next.

“Cause he broke his promise. Gotta pay the price if you break a pinky swear, ya know.”

Oh how Queen Bee stared at him, her gaze particularly dry as a hand dropped to her jutted hip. “Seriously? We’re talking about the same person here, right?”

“Mhm. I know the dude is normally a stickler for promises. But this time? The cat just couldn’t help himself. I mean, come on, who the heck buys their friend an ENTIRE vacation package to Hawaii for Christmas! That’s just way too heckin’ extreme,” Carapace sighed, his head shaking as though he were a disappointed parent.

If it were possible for Queen Bee’s gaze to grow flatter, it would have. It did turn rather incredulous though, as though the heroine couldn’t quite believe that they were pranking Adrien over THIS of all things!

“Are you SERIOUS?” she asked pointedly, her eye twitching as he nodded quite firmly. “We’re making him look like Oscar the Grouch’s reject cousin for THAT?”

“My bro knows the rules. Or more specifically the ‘Golden Child’ rules,” Carapace replied, with air quotes given. “No stupidly expensive gifts. And a whole, two week, all expenses paid vacation to Hawaii? That’s hella pricy.”

The heroine pinched the bridge of her nose, inhaling sharply as she watched Chat Noir’s ripe banana like locks turn to the nastiest shade of green she’d seen in her life time.

“Uck. Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. How the class considers you ‘Squad Goals’ I’ll never understand.”

#ninovember #nino lahiffe #carapace #chat noir #miraculous ladybug

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lord-dusk · 5 years

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Jurassic Emblem-Chapter 7

Sultry seven! ^ u ^ Not all of JE will be carnage and meat! There will be some light-hearted fluff to balance things out! Happy readings!

Lucina and Delta were having a very important conference held in the most appropriate place they can easily assess-the Aksran laundry room.

Taking a leisurely break from mauling enemies and eating hybrid-creatures is imperative, so as to recharge ATP reserves. And as such, the two raptors were in the highly expansive laundry room, stripped down their pants, and started sniffing. And boy, who knew the worn attire of all the Heroes summoned to Askr possessed the magical aroma of a fern-forest?

“Mmmmm, check those panties out,” Delta remarked, holding up a lacy pair of panties. “Those panties belonging to Celica is really something! Oscar Mayer’s sausage infused with zest of orange-I love it! They say the scent of one’s clothing is governed by their mood; therefore, Celica must be in high spirits!”

As for Lucina, well, let us say she has assumed the sweet texture of a ripe mango. Holding up her one of her mother’s dresses, Lucina inhaled it with extreme fervor,her mind and eyes opening up the gates of Nirvana. Lucina loved sniffing other people’s clothing but her mother’s clothes smell the best. She loved the warm, alkaline vibe emanated from the fabric. Somewhere within the Exalted princess’s mind, she can picture it, the religious act of her father thrusting his hips into her mother’s womb every night. She can envision Horn Skuld’s belly swelling to a tight bulge from Chrom breaking his dam inside of her. Lucina did not feel any shame absorbing in the alkaline smell of dried sperm on her mother’s dress, the very seed that she herself germinated from during happier times. In fact, Lucina loved knowing that Chrom is working very hard to pour his hot, gooey seed inside Horn every night, hoping to conceive more siblings for the princess. And it is working quite successfully, for Horn’s stomach was hardly bigger than a large coconut and already it was confirmed she was expecting triplets.

The very prospect made Lucina soft-very soft indeed, as she took her left hand, right hand still clutching her mother’s dress, and started probing her cherry-gates. Rhythmically, sliding in, out. Probing up and down. And it wasn’t very long until a warm fluid flowed down her thighs. And the cherry on the banana-split? Lucina herself often dreamed of being pregnant, of having her belly swollen from the genetic material of a loving spouse, of being thrusted in, thrusted out nightly.

Gods, she thoughtfully muttered. Just being filled to the brim with children ready to love is turning her leak into a river and into a surging waterfall as Lucina gushed out a torrent of whitish-grey fluids down from her entrance. It took while for the navy-blue raptor to get her bearings.

Meanwhile, Delta was no different. She was moaning on the floor, madly sniffing more panties with one hand, and using her other to slide in and out of her cloaca, wet with passion for scrutinizing all the Heroes’ individual scents on their underwear.Eventually she too reached her peak and experience a burst of white light known to witnesses of the universe and a fountain of fluid sprung from Delta’s sacred gates.

A few moments later, the door to the laundry room opened. It was Echo.

“Hey, you too.” Echo furrowed to her sisters. “I totally get want to spend your free-time softer than the juiciest mango, but we have work to do.”

#jurassic emblem #fire emblem heroes #jurassic world #lucina #delta #echo #see? I told you it's light-hearted ;)#contains very cute content and extraordinary language #fanfiction

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phgq · 4 years

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'Turon': A sought-after snack during the pandemic

#PHnews: 'Turon': A sought-after snack during the pandemic

COTABATO CITY – On Barangay Bagua here every afternoon from Monday to Saturday – a small “turon” (deep-fried banana rolls) roadside store draws people even during this time of the pandemic.

The store, owned by Oscar Alojado Buenafe, 74, has no signboard but residents here sure know how to follow with their nose the smell of the reasonably priced, sweet, crunchy, spring roll-wrapped "turon" with ripe strips of "saba" and “langka” (jackfruit) inside.

Between 3 p.m. and 4 p.m. daily, various kinds of vehicles and people from all walks of life toe the line for social distancing to wait for their turn to buy and munch on the affordable snack treats from the Buenafe store along the Bagua area here.

The store serves more than a hundred customers daily, depending on the availability of the snack food items.

“We also sell pinaypay na saging (banana fan fritters), saging rebosao (caramelized banana strips), and sweet potato fritters,” Buenafe said in the vernacular.

He said they have not changed the price of their food bestsellers during the past four decades except during this time of the pandemic that began last March.

“Marketing for ingredients became harder to find due to strict coronavirus disease 2019 (Covid-19) lockdowns and we have to adjust,” he said.

For one, he said, their "turon" is currently priced at PHP7 per piece, a PHP2 increase from their usual price per piece for the past 10 years.

“Despite this, our ‘suki’ (regular customers) kept on coming back, without even minding the slight increase in prices,” Buenafe said with a smile.

Through the years, he said he had befriended all his loyal customers, ranging from doctors, nurses, engineers, teachers, and even military and police personnel.

“They frequent our store, or even sending someone by placing their orders in advance,” he said with delight.

Benefits of the business

For the past four decades, Buenafe said he and his wife Editha have managed to send his children to school, two of them became teachers while the others too became professionals in their preferred fields of work.

He said one of his children died but did not expound on the matter after becoming emotional during the conversation.

“Life must go on. I have other children to attend to and grandchildren,” Buenafe said.

Satisfied customers

Anna Leah Mosina, 19, said she likes to buy “turon” and other food items at Buenafe’s store because it is served hot and smells delicious.

“It is one of my cheap treats daily,” Mosina said.

Gerome Uy, 26, a trader from nearby Datu Odin Sinsuat, Maguindanao, said the “turon” has gained popularity in his set of friends through the years.

“Elementary pa lang po kami suki na kami ng turon na yan (We have been regular customers of that ‘turon’ even during our elementary days),” Uy said.

Sustaining the business

Even amid the pandemic, Buenafe said his store keeps on doing good in sales because his products are cheap and done to the preferred taste of its customers.

He noted that their "turon" is quite easy to cook and that the ingredients are inexpensive.

"You can buy the ingredients at the market, like brown sugar and coconut oil, but do remember that you should always cook with love,” Buenafe said.

He pointed out that their love and care for their customers had been there through all these years. (PNA)

***

References:

* Philippine News Agency. "'Turon': A sought-after snack during the pandemic." Philippine News Agency. https://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1118093 (accessed October 11, 2020 at 12:03AM UTC+14).

* Philippine News Agency. "'Turon': A sought-after snack during the pandemic." Archive Today. https://archive.ph/?run=1&url=https://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1118093 (archived).

#Philippines #News #Filipino #Pinoy #Tourism #Politics #Culture #Editorial #Environment #Society #History

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bethestaryouareradio · 5 years

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Fall forward and Waste Not!

https://www.lamorindaweekly.com/archive/issue1315/Digging-Deep-with-Goddess-Gardener-Cynthia-Brian-Fall-forward-and-waste-not.html

“And all at once, summer collapsed into fall.” Oscar Wilde

In the fall of my freshman year at UCLA, I began working at one of the very first health food stores ever created in California. It was called Nature’s Health Cove and all the offerings were organic: pesticide, insecticide, and colorant-free. The fruits and vegetables were pathetic looking. Worms bored into apples, the Swiss chard had holes from munching snails, greens boasted fringed tips, a gift from hungry marauding rabbits, tomatoes were cracked, zucchini was malformed. Yet the produce tasted delicious and even though the prices were at least double of anything one could purchase at a grocery store, the crops sold rapidly. One of my tasks was to cull through any severely damaged items, putting them in a bucket for a compost pick up by an urban farmer.

Having worked in the fruit drying yards and big barn dehydrators growing up on our farm, it dawned on me that usually, half or more of any fruit or vegetable is salvageable. I suggested to the owner that perhaps we could cut out the decaying parts and create healthy drinks and dried snacks with the ripe remainders. The initiative became an instant success with both students and the general public clamoring for a revolving menu of inexpensive tasty treats.

As summer collapses into fall, my trees and vines are heavy with fruit. As much as I eat and give away, there is still more for the picking. I detest waste and besides canning and freezing the extras, I wanted to create some of the dried fruits of my youth.

While cleaning out one of our barns this summer, I came upon a vintage portable dehydrator that my Grandfather used eons ago to dry his autumn bounty of pears, apples, figs, and grapes. I cleaned the appliance and set to work slicing and dicing. The results are phenomenal.

If you’ve bought any dried fruit lately, you know how expensive it is. But if you are like me and enjoy DIY projects, I have a simple recipe for you to create your own personal organic fruit leathers. You can use trays and dry your produce in the sun the way it has been done for centuries, but it takes longer and critters may creep in to steal your sweets. My suggestion is to purchase a small dehydrator with four or five drawers. My dehydrator has four drawers and only a single heat setting. My thermometer says it’s dehydrating at 125 degrees, which is perfect. Every three hours I move the drawers from the bottom to the top. From start to finish, it takes 24 hours. If you buy a dehydrator with adjustable temperature settings, you’ll be able to dehydrate more rapidly. Here’s what to do: 1. Wash and pat dry your desired fruit and vegetables. 2. You can peel if you wish, but I don’t. Cutaway any bruised or damaged parts. Cut into slices about ¼ to ½ inch thick. 3. Some vegetables including eggplant, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, zucchini, potatoes, and radishes need to be blanched for a few minutes. 4. Cut the slices in a bowl and toss with lemon juice or apple vinegar to reduce browning. Although this step is optional, it helps in preservation. 5. Spray the trays with a light spritz of canola or olive oil to prevent sticking. 6. Place slices of the same fruit or vegetable on dehydrator racks in a single layer without overlapping. Use different trays for different varieties. 7. Check on the process until when done. Let the racks cool before removing the fruit. 8. You can enjoy your items immediately but if you want to store your stash, pack the dried fruit in glass jars or sealable plastic bags. Shake jars or bags once day to make sure there is no condensation. If there is any moisture, return the product to the dehydrator for a bit more drying. 9. Store in a pantry or room temperature darkened area. 10. Voila! Your very own dried fruit and leathers.

You can also put the dried fruit in bags and freezer. I’ve experimented with over-ripe bananas, apples, pears, Asian pears, and I even made raisins with chardonnay grapes, seeds, and all. Crunchy! Everything turns out delicious and I know these dried trials are nutritious because except for the bananas, they originate in my organic orchard. My next testing will be to make sweet potato chips from the sweet potatoes I’m growing. I plan to go exotic by drying mangoes, strawberries, pineapple, and papayas.

Recently we witnessed a rise of what I call the “ugly fruit”. Stores, farmer’s markets, and on-line sites are popularizing the value of imperfect produce. This is a giant step forward in eliminating waste and re-educating our families to value all products provided by nature. Farmers using organic methods know that crops are not always pretty, but the nutritional value and health benefits outweigh perfection of form.

As summer slowly fades into fall, I wish you abundance and a garden of eating.

Cynthia Brian’s Mid Month Gardening Guide

PRUNE “widow makers”, dead branches on trees. You can identify the dead branches before the leaves fall from the rest of the tree. CHECK the crape myrtles in bloom. If you are considering planting a tree or two later in autumn, this is the perfect time to decide what color will be an advantage to your landscape. Crape myrtles are excellent specimens for year-round attractiveness. The leaves will turn red and golden in late autumn, the bark is bare and beautiful in winter, the leaves are shiny green in spring, and the tree blooms midsummer to late fall. REFRIGERATE crocus, tulips, and hyacinths for six weeks before planting. ADD aged chicken manure to your soil if you are noticing that it is less fertile. MARK your calendar for a visit to the Be the Star You Are!® non-profit booth at the Moraga Pear and Wine Festival on Saturday, September 28th. Thanks to our sponsor, The Lamorinda Weekly. Details at https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org/events.

DEADHEAD tuberous begonias to keep them blooming until frost. The flowers are edible with a tangy, citrusy flavor. ENJOY the final days of freshly picked tomatoes tossed with basil or cilantro. HARVEST tangerines, Asian pears, and grapes as they ripen. PHOTOGRAPH your deciduous trees as the changing colors emerge. The contrast of colors will amaze you as you reflect on the time-line. DEHYDRATE extra fruit and vegetables for tasty snacks. Kids especially love these dried sweets. CUT and compost the damaged parts from “ugly” produce and cook with the rest. WASTE NOT! Be a steward of our planet with simple up-cycling. WELCOME the cool and crisp days of autumn. Fall forward!

Happy Gardening. Happy Growing.

See photos and read more: https://www.lamorindaweekly.com/archive/issue1315/Digging-Deep-with-Goddess-Gardener-Cynthia-Brian-Fall-forward-and-waste-not.html

Cynthia Brian, The Goddess Gardener, raised in the vineyards of Napa County, is a New York Times best-selling author, actor, radio personality, speaker, media and writing coach as well as the Founder and Executive Director of Be the Star You Are!® 501 c3. Tune into Cynthia’s Radio show and order her books at www.StarStyleRadio.com.

Buy a copy of her new books, Growing with the Goddess Gardener and Be the Star You Are! Millennials to Boomers at www.cynthiabrian.com/online-store.

Hire Cynthia for projects, consults, and lectures. [email protected]

www.GoddessGardener.com

keywords: #dehydrator,#driedfruits, #barns,#uglyproduce,#wastenot,#autumn,#fall, #fruits, ,#gardening, #cynthiabrian, #starstyle, #goddessGardener, #growingwiththegoddessgardener, #lamorindaweekly

#dehydrator driedfruits barnsuglyproducewastenotautumnfall fruits gardening cynthiabrian starstyle goddessGardener growingwiththegoddessgarde

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goddessgardener · 5 years

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Fall forward and Waste Not!

https://www.lamorindaweekly.com/archive/issue1315/Digging-Deep-with-Goddess-Gardener-Cynthia-Brian-Fall-forward-and-waste-not.html

“And all at once, summer collapsed into fall.” Oscar Wilde

As summer slowly fades into fall, I wish you abundance and a garden of eating.

Cynthia Brian’s Mid Month Gardening Guide

Happy Gardening. Happy Growing.

See photos and read more: https://www.lamorindaweekly.com/archive/issue1315/Digging-Deep-with-Goddess-Gardener-Cynthia-Brian-Fall-forward-and-waste-not.html

Buy a copy of her new books, Growing with the Goddess Gardener and Be the Star You Are! Millennials to Boomers at www.cynthiabrian.com/online-store.

Hire Cynthia for projects, consults, and lectures. [email protected]

www.GoddessGardener.com

keywords: #dehydrator,#driedfruits, #barns,#uglyproduce,#wastenot,#autumn,#fall, #fruits, ,#gardening, #cynthiabrian, #starstyle, #goddessGardener, #growingwiththegoddessgardener, #lamorindaweekly

#dehydratordriedfruits barnsuglyproducewastenotautumnfall fruits gardening cynthiabrian starstyle goddessGardener growingwiththegoddessgarden

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