#Rose says: the exact quotes are edited a bit to be more in character but this is mostly how it went

[hs-as-shit-my-friends-say]

TT: The only social issue that needs solving right now is my need for tissues. AG: There are tissues right there on her desk! TT: I know that, but she won't stop talking. TT: I've been staring at them this entire time like a teen boy in heat stares at tiddies. CA: you knoww its not a social issue unless there are twwo or more people invvolvved right TT: The issue is between me and my nose, which I'm considering enough of a congregation to pass as a social issue. TT: And in any case, my sniffing is sure to annoy every other person present. TT: This is a serious issue, Eridan. Don't be so insensitive.

[gay-otlc]

Keepers Of The Chaos (3)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Dex, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh’s podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, religion (Jewish Vackers), and Amsterdam (just in case, I know that was stressful for some people).

Word count: 1621

Notes: Most of the episodes are just events stolen from Lynn's roundup, Dex's memes are here

(Read on AO3)

The life of an amateur meme maker on dumbles dot com was a strange one, that was for sure. After finishing xyr favorite show- Ze-Ra: Monaerchs of Powhir- for the third time, Dex had searched for another show to fill the void in xyr soul. Biana recommended this show called "Keepers of the Chaos" and described it to xem. Xe was doubtful at first, but after watching the first episode, xe was hooked.

Xe used to not have many friends at xyr school, so xe did what every neurodivergent queer teen would do- made an account on dumbles dot com. People seemed to like xem- or at least, they liked dizznee-plus's memes and edits of Ze-Ra characters. Even after Dex befriended xyr squish, Fitz, thons sister, Biana, and aer girlfriend, Sophie, xe continued making content on dumbles. Around that time, the Ze-Ra fandom started dying off, and xyr memes started getting fewer note

In a sudden, two am burst of inspiration, Dex made edits of some of xyr favorite characters, like Ref, Akki, and Rose, with their respective pride flags (all of them bi) over them, and captioned it "we must be gay." The post blew up, or at least, what could be considered blowing up in Keeper of the Chaos's tiny fandom, and that was how Dex found xyr calling as an amateur meme/edit maker for KOTC.

History had been repeating itself, with the KOTC fandom starting to die off, until it was revived by an announcement from creator Saturn Nolastname- a season two would be released soon. Frantically, Dex made a meme about season one episode two, with the car salesman meme. Xe edited "chaos keepers" onto the car salesman, "the rarelynoticed" on the car, and "this bad boy can fit so many stripper outfits into it."

That had been... an interesting episode, to say the least. The chaos keepers had been talking about the antagonists of "Sophie and the Dark Duck"- a rebel group called the Rarelynoticed. In the information packet they'd been given, it was confirmed that the Rarelynoticed wore black cloaks and armbands, but no other clothes had been mentioned. Somehow, the chaos keepers came to the conclusion that the Rarelynoticed really wore neon pink leotards and green stripper heels, then drew this idea.

Needless to say, the Tumblr staff did not let them write that into the book. Nor did Lynn, the unofficially chosen leader of the group. Unfortunately for her, this didn't stop the chaos keepers from drawing more of these- or the fandom from making a ton of memes. In addition to the car salesman meme, a post with Drake saying no to "wearing normal fucking villain outfits" and yes to "leotards and stripper heels" gained popularity within the small fandom.

Though nothing could match the absolute shock of seeing the Rarelynoticed stripper outfit for the first time, Dex decided to rewatch the episode anyway- it was funny to see the chaos keepers freak out, and maybe xe could get some good screen captures. The good Saturn Nolastname indulged xem, and xe captured an excellent scene of most of the chaos keepers either laughing or screaming at the Rarelynoticed stripper outfits, with Kimber- one of xyr favorites- sitting on the side, explaining to Juno and Kaitee why Bianca Cracker was bisexual.

Xe went over to dumbles, posted the picture, added an image description, and captioned it "Live photo of me not caring when my friends talk about sex/romance." Xe chuckled to xemself- this really was how it felt to be aroace. Xe tagged it as aromantic and asexual as well, since dumbles added flag colors. Smiling, xe went to go check xyr notifications.

Xyr jaw dropped when xe saw that @lordofthesnuggles- Fitzroy (Dex didn't know thons middle name) Vacker thonself had liked and reblogged all three of xyr memes, even adding compliments in the tags! Xe'd had a bit of a platonic crush on Fitz for... a really long time, but xe always felt too awkward to talk to thon, so it was nice to see that thon appreciated xyr humor.

Feeling energized- and excited to procrastinate on xyr math homework- Dex went to watch the next episode: Dark Duck Is Jewish Now. Being Jewish xemself, this was a really funny episode to xem.

Lynn had been writing a sort of spinoff- it would be called fanfiction, but it was for her own story- about some of the Dark Duck characters celebrating Christmas, and added a throwaway line about Bianca and Finn Cracker celebrating Hanukkah. Then, her fiance, Shai, had taken that idea and run with it, writing a list of ideas about what would happen if the Cracker family was Jewish. Hir friend Sam had jumped on the idea, and soon they had abandoned writing the actual Dark Duck in favor of writing a story about Jewish Dark Duck characters. Some of the other Jewish chaos keepers, like Ref and Cat, helped out.

To be honest, it kind of surprised Dex that no one had made a joke about the Jewish Crackers just being matzah, so xe supposed xe would have to be the first.

Xe posted that observation, quickly getting a like from Fitz- which made xem smile. After a few minutes, Dex posted another meme: Shai and Sam standing in front of a door with a sign that read "elves don't have religion," and them saying "This sign won't stop me, because I can't read!"

It was accurate.

While that episode was great for Jewish representation, and funny, the Banana Noir episode was just plain weird.

It focused less on the Dark Duck than most of the other episodes, and was more about the crazy interactions of the chaos keepers. The episode was named for Banana Noir, who was really Cat Noir, but in a banana suit. Banana Noir was the son of Mellie, who looked like a shark, and Nora, who had platonically married faer. The mothers tried to arrange a marriage between him and Akki, who loved the side characters of the Dark Duck series. However, Akki wanted to marry Amelia. After a lot of shit that basically no one understood, Banana Noir's attempts were thwarted, and Lynn officiated the wedding between Akki and Amelia.

Yeah, Dex had no idea what the fuck was going on either. Xe'd watched an episode of Twins of the Chaos and a youtube video by arsonpog analyzing the Banana Noir chronicles, as it had been dubbed by the chaos keepers, and both expert opinions seemed to agree that Saturn Nolastname and the rest of the writers had probably been on crack when they made that episode.

The next episode made slightly more sense, though it was a low bar. After taking a break from the "official" Dark Duck story, the chaos keepers began collectively writing a Cinderella story about the characters Sophia and Bianca. People weren't allowed to be queer in the official story, but the chaos keepers still wanted to have fun with their obviously gay characters.

Even to the viewers of the show, who only received secondhand information about the Dark Duck characters, knew there was no way any of them, let alone all of them, were allocishet. The exact identities weren't entirely clear- when Dex had made edits of the characters' official art and xyr headcanons for their pride flags, a few people had disagreed- but both the chaos keepers and the fandom knew that despite what Shannon said, Sophia and Bianca were in love, and their Cinderella story should have made it in to the official Dark Duck story.

While excerpts of the Cinderella story were quoted in the show, most of it was left unclear, so Biana had taken it upon aerself to write aer own version of it. Dex was expecting an update later  that day, actually, or maybe the next. Ae wasn't always 100% reliable with aer update schedule. Still, Dex looked forward to when it eventually did come.

After the brief calmness from the Sophianca Cinderella episode, season one episode six, Amsterdam, exploded back into chaos. A few of the chaos keepers decided to discuss a fake scene in the book in which crazy shit went down, with the scene supposedly being located in Amsterdam. It had never been written and was never going to be, but everyone discussed it like it was real. Some of the highlights involved all the Dark Duck girls having swords (and the chaos keepers being gay for them), and a speedboat chase scene through the canals. Fitz had a popular theory that the chaos keepers would actually travel to Amsterdam in order to commemorate this crazy part of their lives. Almost as popular as that was a meme Dex made, with a man labeled "chaos keepers discussing amsterdam" and gesturing feverishly to a wall covered in papers and red string.

Of course, episode seven (Dark Duck Disney) was chaotic too. Everything was chaotic with this group, it was in the title. Shannon announced that the winning Dark Duck story would be adapted into a Disney movie. After past experience with terrible book to movie adaptations, the chaos keepers panicked. They panicked so much that it became major news within their school, which until then, had been largely ignoring the chaos keepers. Once the discussion about the movie settled down, they talked a lot about how in awe they were that their Dark Duck shenanigans were trending within the school.

But of course, none of that compared to the last episode of the season...

Dex changed xyr profile picture to include an ominous pair of teal eyes and sighed.

[carthonasi]

My Thoughts on The Last Jedi

It’s been about 3 days now since I’ve seen The Last Jedi and I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on the movie and man oh man, do I have some thoughts on this sucker. This would have been out sooner but I unfortunately had to work all weekend due to the movie’s release and have only gotten around to making this post now. Spoilers under the cut.

.

..

…

….

…..

……

…….

Okay, spoiler time. I’m going to do split my thoughts into a pros and cons list, and for once, I’m actually going to start with the negatives considering all of the controversy surrounding the movie.

CONS

Luke’s characterization for a good bit of the film is so off. Like, come on, you expect me to believe the same Luke Skywalker who refused to kill his father would attempt to murder his nephew in his sleep? Nah, that’s fucking bullshit. I could buy it maybe passing his mind, but to physically turn on that lightsaber? No. It was shit. And it was clearly only there to give Kylo some sort of sympathetic backstory. There were other things that irked me about how Rian Johnson portrayed Luke, but that was my main grievance.

I’m sure someone has written up a better explanation as to why this sucks so I’ll just leave this here simply: I hated that Luke died

Rey and Luke’s plot on Ahch-to just felt like a let down to me. Nothing really deep here, just felt it didn’t live up to the hype. This might change after a second viewing.

I wasn’t a big fan of how much the movie focused on Kylo, including the majority of Rey’s plot being focused on saving him when just a movie ago she literally was ready to kill him for killing Han. (More on things I liked about Kylo in the Pros section)

WHY DID NO ONE BESIDES REY MENTION HAN??? WHY DIDN’T LEIA ESPECIALLY MENTION HAN??? WHY DIDN’T WE GET TO SEE LUKE REACT TO HIS FRIEND’S DEATH IF WE FOUND OUT THAT HE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT??? WHY WASN’T HAN MENTIONED MORE??? 

While I loved Finn and Rose and even liked their plotline (More later in the Pros), I felt the kiss from Rose came out of nowhere. I mean, it was obvious she had a crush, but idk. If they’re pushing FinnRose in the next movie, I’m gonna be slightly disappointed with the build up since their dynamic screamed platonic to me.

When we walked out, my brother mentioned to me that the humor felt “too much”. I didn’t agree or disagree with him at first since I had noted that something about the humor felt different, but now I agree with him as I saw someone mention exactly what type of humor this felt like. This was Marvel^TM humor. And not the good Thor Ragnarok kind. Some of this felt like the faux-Whedon quips that have become standard for Marvel movies. However, I will say that this doesn’t cover all of the humor, just that some of it felt like my brother said: “too much”

One thing that bugged me about the Holdo/Poe plot was that everything could have been avoided if she had told Poe the plan. Like, I understand this is a movie and they needed conflict, but this was handled very poorly in my opinion. 

On the subject of Poe, his character felt slightly off compared to how he was portrayed in TFA and some other material. For a standalone movie, his arc was good and handled decently, but considering this is a follow up and the middle movie of a trilogy, it just seemed off to me. Maybe a second viewing will clear it up for me, but idk that was just my first impression.

Speaking of, I felt that while this movie worked really well and was very good as a standalone movie, I do not think it works well as a sequel to TFA. There were so many elements from TFA that seemed wasted or just completely forgotten. It was very obvious that this movie was written before TFA was finalized, as Rian Johnson has stated. Which leads me to…

Rey’s parentage reveal. It was shit.

Ok, so maybe I’m biased since this was a a subject I’ve been reading into for a while, but this “reveal” did not sit well with me. For one, the reveal came from the fucking villain in a moment where he was obviously trying to manipulate her, so you know, I’m not inclined to believe him. And secondly, the reveal doesn’t line up with what was in the TFA movie proper, or in the TFA novel for that matter, which was based off an earlier version of the script. If Rey’s parents were drunks who sold her off for drinking money and were in a desert grave, why was she shown in her force vision in TFA, crying out for someone in a spaceship to come back? Rey clearly wasn’t a slave in TFA. If she was, she wouldn’t have been able to leave Jakku. I think there are more discrepancies that others have pointed out, but the fact of the matter is, things just don’t line up. I sincerely get what Rian was trying to get across by having her be a random, but God, the execution was so fucking terrible if you look closely.  I’m gonna elaborate more in another post on this subject once I see the movie again tomorrow, but fuck dudes, this was so disappointing. 

Ok, on a less critical note, I just felt the movie dragged towards the end. By the time they reached Crait, I was like, we’re not done yet??? I might have just been tired so if this changes on a second viewing I’ll add an edit. 

Snoke was kind of a disappointment, but I never really cared about him so it didn’t really bug me. Not really an extreme con like the majority of this list, but it’s still a negative so here it is.

Also, I’m adding this in after writing my pros, but I just realized R2 had so little to do and now I’m sad. 

Ok, so a lot of negatives. But there are a lot of positives too so let’s get to those.

PROS

LEIA FUCKING ORGANA. LEIA USING THE FORCE. LEIA BEING AN AWESOME GENERAL. CARRIE FISHER’S PERFORMANCE. JUST. LEIA.

VICE. ADMIRAL. HOLDO. DID. THAT. I’m not gonna fucking lie, that was hands down my favorite scene in the fucking movie. Besides another scene in the movie, it’s the only one that had me genuinely awestruck in the theater. 

MY BOY LUKE SHOWING UP IN AN AWESOME BLACK OUTFIT AND TRIMMED HAIR TO SHOW UP HIS SHITTY NEPHEW. THAT SHOULDER BRUSH WAS SUCH A MIDDLE FINGER TO KYLO I LOVE THAT MAN. MARK HAMILL GETS TOP MARKS FOR PORTRAYING LUKE NO MATTER HOW CRAPPY HIS CHARACTERIZATION WAS IN SOME PARTS.

Ok, I think I’m past the screaming section of this lol. Moving on, I absolutely adored Rose. While her initial scene was a bit iffy, I quickly fell in love with her. Kelly Marie Tran nailed it and I can’t wait to see more of her in Episode IX.  I only wish that we had gotten to know Paige a little better and seen her relationship with Rose before she died, but considering how the film started, I’m not too surprised that didn’t happen.

You know who else I love with all my heart? My beautiful boy Finn. John Boyega continues to make me love him as he sold all of his scenes in this movie. From his scenes with Rose, to the fight with Phasma, he never stopped being such a damn delight to watch. 

Speaking of Finn, FINNREY FUCKING LIVES. I loved all the moments where they referenced each other and I had the biggest smile on my face when they reunited. God I love those kids. 

Speaking of ships, REY//O IS FUCKING DEAD IN THE GROUND. But seriously, how are shippers thinking that this movie confirmed their ship? If anything, this just confirmed that Kylo is forever lost to the dark side and that Rey will probably end up killing him. She literally shut the door on him how do misread that scene? 

Kylo was a fantastic villain. Adam Driver did a great job of portraying him and I love the lengths they went to show just how shitty he is and just how manipulative and evil he is. They even gave him an out with a sympathetic backstory, but nope, he’s still a piece of shit. I’m so glad and relieved he’s not getting a redemption arc because he such a good bad guy. 

That moment where Rey made it look like she was gonna take Kylo’s hand but then swerved and went for the lightsaber and then left his ass unconscious, I was like, “that’s my girl”

Also the lightsaber battle beforehand between Kylo, Rey, and Snoke’s guards was genuinely awesome to watch. A great fight scene. I didn’t get the same emotional feeling that I did watching Kylo and Rey’s duel in TFA but it was still fucking awesome to watch nonetheless.

R2 projecting Leia’s message nearly made me cry.

Another thing that actually made me tear up? Luke and Leia’s reunion, even if Luke was only an astral projection in hindsight. It felt like a goodbye to Carrie, even if it wasn’t shot that way, and his line to Leia (I can’t remember the exact quote) really fucking hurt. 

John William’s Score. I feel like this is a given. I will however note that I think I enjoyed the score for The Force Awakens more. Nonetheless, it’s still John fucking Williams and as such it’s still fucking good

As you can see, I’ve got some very mixed feelings on the movie. No doubt I forgot to mention something, but I’m still pretty wiped from working all weekend. But I’ll just leave with this. I think as a standalone movie, this was very good. There were some great cinematic moments and awesome action sequences. Based on that, I’d probably give it an 8/10. However, as a follow up to TFA, it left me disappointed in many fields, which considering it was written before TFA was actually finished, isn’t all that surprising. So under that criteria, I give it 6/10.

However, I do think you guys should see the movie for yourselves and make your own opinions. It’s such a decisive movie that I think that the only way you’re gonna know how you feel about it for sure, is if you see it with your own eyes. And if you happen to love the movie, I’m happy you got an enjoyable experience.