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#SO many people are so butthurt about me voicing my 'negative' opinion
shima-draws · 2 years
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"Better designs" you say and then you just show edge lord bs.
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I'm the anon asking if I'm tripping about Tae
The way you expressed yourself made me giggle
For the past 2-3 years..my personality has been being Army
The type of Army who was so butthurt at anyone criticising the guys
The type of Army who just went along with the hive mentality of Bangtan are perfect...not even human...so how dare you....then after dreamers...twitter became too toxic to the point I realized its affecting my mental health and I was like hold up...why is my whole life just about Bangtan when they can literally never do anything of "significance" for you...of course they offer me entertainment,comfort, support,positive emotions etc but like this experience was some type of...you are wasting your youth days by always being chronically online and not doing anything else....it was like a spell was lifted...I was like okay...so if I voice out my opinion on some of the things this fandom does...all they can do is just call me an anti and tell people to.block me...it's like being Army is being hired to always be working 24/7 ....ooooh...you can't claim you're Army if you don't love all 7 of them...it's like when strangers from the Internet tell you you aren't a real Army because you don't subscribe to our bullshit is suddenly the biggest mistake of your life and you cease to exist...the thing that makes me mad at Bangtan is that they are aware how this fandom has been catapulting to so much immaturity that makes them unapproachable if we are honest but they still cater to them and put up a front...
Reading your blogs made me start questioning things and the appeal of treating them like gods just started dissipating....Army loves to make it seem like Bangtan are the top of the top but if you look at it...esp these days(not at all including the solo work so far...I love JITB from start to finish and some songs on Indigo)...is they give us generic content and they know the fans themselves will bully other people to gobble it up...I'd really love to hear them being so deep about their creative processes...after all this enlightenment...the only person whom I can't seem to rid the divine aura is Jimin but he also has a negative side to him...but I think with him..I've come to experience what true unconditional love is...same as JK but JK I've learnt to humanize him in my mind
As for the other members...I love them...they are all so multidimensional....My soul just doesn't like Tae for so many reasons....and when you're from a mindset like mine...I used to feel really guilty for not liking him and I always exaggerated my affection for him on the timeline to somehow mask my dislike...but its been a journey learning how to detach from this toxic mindset and treat them like the human beings that they are....thank you for creating this space where you are so open minded and allow discourse with people who can see through the bs....
I just wonder when they will take responsibility of how their fandom is getting out of hand in a very high rate...Army's are one of the most vile people on twitter and I understand with some things it's needed but damn😭
Chapter two just made me realized I might be a solo stan and not as ot7 as I thought....but thank you for responding to me....I kinda needed that pov to stop making myself feel guilty....but then again...there is no one human being who is perfect....there might be so many grammatical mistakes..I'm sorry 😭💛
I will asssume you're probably aware how this sounds, right? You got out of a cult. Replace army and bts with whatever cult is out there and it would apply.
I know my post hit a nerve. And some others in the past. And I can see that in all the asks in my inbox. Which surprises me, although it shouldn't. Because I'm not the type of person that needs to hear it from others first in order to say something. Maybe it has to do with age, personality, the fact that this is the internet and I really don't give a shit because it's only a small fraction of my life? But others do, which is ultimately, a bit unfortunate. Because it shouldn't be like that. But the fandom at large is so close-minded that those who don't subscribe to the cult mentality or who figure out along the way how absurd it is, are pushed aside and worse. You cannot be part of it if you don't think the same way. It's authoritive and totalitarian and jesus christ, do we need that in a music fandom when the world is as fucked up as it is? Is it worth it? Is it worth it to be misogynistic, to become an informant snitching and gathering information so the small-time leaders of report accounts can do their cancel spread sheet? Is it worth it to doxx people for whatever the fuck reason? Why on earth would anyone want to be a part of that? And then you have the ignorant on purpose army who took to heart "see nothing, hear nothing" and made it their slogan. They don't like "speak nothing" cause they suddenly get a voice when it's time to all say in a choir "all shippers are the same". Spineless people.
Spineless people who the PR job for BTS for free and they love their free labor while they don't stop for one second before buying in massses every little thing the company puts out. A late stage capitalist nightmare.
And about that creative process as a group? Well it's certainly impossible to talk about something in the last few years when they only released subpar music. What would be so deep about Butter when RM managed to say it has fruit vibes? They can complain about feeling burned out and how it wasn't a fruitful period. But they did it and they got a lot of money from those songs. Time to treat them as adults and not just as "our boys".
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juniaships · 3 years
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After being reminded of how awful canon film is I wrote my own self indulgent version of Batman Vs. Superman. I want the story to be self contained, so no Doomsday or Darkseid forewarning. Warning: Rambling, me being butthurt while high on sugar, really trying to make this a coherent storyline with genuine development, some Bruce x OC moments shut up you demon!
The beginning is the same as in canon with Lois in Africa???Middle East??? With her partner James Olsen trying to resolve a hostage situation. James gets killed trying to protect a hostage, but before anymore are killed Superman comes in and rescues them. He subdues not kill the terrorists but gets into trouble with the intelligence agency for interrupting their mission. This incident reaches the ears of Helen Hunt's character the no-nonsense Senator. However Superman is more concerned for the deceased James and the unharmed hostages than getting in trouble with the government, he feels guilty being unable to save James in time.
After James Olsen's funeral Clark and Lois are unsure what to do next. They decide the best way to honor his memory is continuing their line of working bringing light to troubling issues as well as a troubling rose of villains. They also find out that the terrorists had weapons given to them by Luthor (to protect interests in that region).
Meanwhile, Lex decides to capitalize on the post destruction of Metropolis by launching a smear campaign. He also starts pursuing charitable events to make himself look good in front of the masses. Because of growing negativity towards Supes, Clark starts feeling a lack of confidence but from reassurance from his mom he redirects his focus hero by doing small stuff around Smallville. Gradually the town starts to see him in a far better light but there's still Metropolis and the larger world. Clark goes there to help rebuild. At his job at DP, he gets the chance to interview visiting millionaire Bruce Wayne in Whatever City (not the actual name but a totally different city from Metropolis and Gotham). At the press meeting Bruce is rather cold & not as Clark expected. He's even working with Lex Luthor as part of a business deal, which makes Clark wary as he knows about Luthor's criminal activity.
Superman goes out in a flight to clear his head. While flying around he sees a kid walking on the railroad tracks hy himself with a pair of headphones....and a train steadily approaching! Supes swoops in and saves the kod from being nuked and chastises him for being so reckless. The teenager apologies and introduces himself as Jimmy Olsen (a nephew of the deceased James). He had been listening to music as a way to cope with his uncle's death. They talk for a while and Superman brings Jimmy back home. Several weeks later Clark ends up mentoring Jimmy as a school project.
Back in Whatever City we're introduced to one of Lex's assistants Nicola. She's a former Holliday Girl who had overheard Lex's plan and vowed to stop him. She managed to get in contact with an old friend: Diana Prince. Nicola brings up Lex's plan and hidden research of metahumans. The Amazon surmises that such a scheme could result in the deaths of hundreds if not thousands of people. Diana decides to bring her agency to stop him & asks Nicola to stay low. Diana gathers her old armor and prays to the Gods for luck.
Lex apparently likes Nicola enough to send her an invite to a charity ball, where she crosses paths with Bruce for the first time. They talk for a while only to be interrupted by Clark.
After a meeting with Luthor to discuss a merger with their companies, and seeing hints of Luthor's true selfishness, Bruce grows suspicious of him and started to dig around. We see through memorabilia that his initial coldness towards Clark and other people wasn't out of spite but of grief: Jason Todd's death some years ago.
Clark continues his good deeds and is slowly regaining his respect. He even makes plan to visit a children's hospital but is forced to cancel when Superman gets called to show up for a Congress hearing. At the meeting Superman admits his guilt but tells about James and how he died a hero. The Senator doesn't know where Superman is going with this but is listening. Then Superman's voice trails of as he hears a beeping noise and shocked he leaves the room in a hurry. He briefly searches the place and finds a bomb strapped in a closet. He carries the bomb out and throws it as high into the sky as possible Back inside the audience and senator are bewildered by his absence then hear a loud booming noise outside. There's shock as a bright light flashes in the sky...
Superman legit rejected their hearing to save them from a bomb. A bomb planted there by Tess on the instructions of Luthor...a plan she was willing to sacrifice her own life for.
This leaves the senator reconsidering her stance: if he really was as bad as people say then he wouldn't have saved them.
After the incident the entire country begins to have a more positive opinion of Superman while the government launches a search for possible terrorists. Bruce hears about what happened and after sneaking around as Batman, finds out about Luthor being the one responsible for the attempted terror attack. Later on he (as civilian) makes an announcement that he is not going to go through with the merger with LexCorp.
Hearing the news that Superman foiled his attempted assassination (and losing out on Wayne Enterprises), Lex gets very pissed off and threatens to fire Tess. She tries to save face by reminding Lex of his contingency plan...making Lex calm down and grin as he begins to remake his plan.
Nicola agrees to a date with Bruce and prepares. Meanwhile Lois and Jimmy are enjoying a night on the town while Clark stays behind to work on a news story. The two friends were about ti make it back to their hotel before being accosted by some men who force them into a car and takes them to Lex Corp.
At the HQ Lois calls him out that his plan could spell doom for the world. Surprisingly Luthor agrees but makes it clear he doesn't care. He orders his men to capture her, but Jimmy manages to escape and goes off to find Clark (who is writing a story to expose Luthor's actions). Jimmy tells him learns from him that Lois is in trouble Superman tells him to stay as he fetches the police. In reality he jas gone to find her as his hero alias. He finds her but just as he's about to rescue her Lex threatens that he also has another certain someone (Martha Kent ) captured if he doesn't comply, seeing that Supes was often seen visiting her. Reluctantly Superman complies and Lois is freed from her bonds, yet Lex takes them as hostages to a room lined with Green Kryptonite. He leaves to his warehouse to check on progress of his prototype. Jimmy wonders where Clark has gone and goes to the police station himself.
On their date Bruce mentions to Nicola that he knows what she's up to. Nicola coldly replies what was he talking about and he mentions Lex's actions and her possible status as an accomplice This starts a spat leading to Nicola spilling that she is working against Lex (making her a foil to the blindly loyal Tess) and that her goal was to stop Lex from unleashing his plan. She already called a friend to help them yet when Bruce presses forward they see a kid (Jimmy) wandering around and concerned asks what's wrong. Jimmy replies that his friend was kidnapped and doesn't know what to do. Bruce leaves to find Clark while Nicola stays with Jimmy.
Nicole & Jimmy arrives back at the hotel and sees Tess Mercer waiting for them. She had been sent by Luthor to eliminate the witness. Nicola tries to talk her coworker out of harming an innocent kid but Tess refuses. They duel but Tess proves to be a surprisingly stronger fighter. Before Tess could come in for the kill a frightened Jimmy knocks her out cold from behind.
At HQ Lois & a weakened Superman attempt an escape. Lois believes its hopeless but Clark reminds her that Lex won't put them down for long. Batman arrives at the HQ and stealthily avoids the guards. He deduces the room Lois and Supes are locked up in and free them. Batman says thay a little birdie told him everything Lois and Clark grinning that it's Jimmy and the two superheroes decide to work together to bring down Lex.
Batman goes to save Martha (the warehouse fight) while Superman goes to confront Lex, dropping Lois off at the hotel where rhe police are waiting (Tess apprehended). Nicola researcher offers to take the reporter home but she declines, not wanting to sit back and watch Lex try to destroy the world. After giving her report to the police she and Nicole meet Steven Trevor (a descendant of Steve Trevor and an agent). Steven says he already sent his men to arrest Lex as they found that he waa behind the bombing. Lois sneaks away to see if she can help Clark.
Clark manages to catch uo to Lex at his lab and tries to reason with him. Lex says that he already unleashed his prototype as a test to see how many lives Superman is able to save. Superman argues that Lex has gone mad trying to play god, which he disagrees: "I'm not playing god I'm only playing favorites is all." Disgusted, Superman leaves and goes off to fight the prototype. As he does an entire line of trucks arrive...led by Nicola's special friend...
Lex realizes he has been found out and tries to destroy the evidence. Lois realize that the monster was made of Kryptonian DNA so she looks around for the spare Kryptonite and manages to grab a considerable long piece. Just as she does the place starts flooding and she runs. However she nearly drown. Fortunately she gets pulled out by a woman wearing armor. Lois doesn't even ask her name as she recognizes the W shaped emblem and blue&red color scheme. Lois gives the heroine the spear and tells her that she says she loves Clark. Wonder Woman nods and heads towards the direction of Superman.
Superman draws the monster out away from the city and is helped by Batman. Wonder Woman arrives with the spear. The final battles commences with Batman providing a distraction to lead the prototype away. Diana and Superman fight the beast but is soon overpowered. Clark takes the makeshift spear and goes off and manages to subdue the creature rather unwilling to kill it. However he gets blown up by a missile sent by the US military and everyone thinks he is dead.
To his he walks out of the smoke, banged up but alive, having narrowly escaped the blast. The monster has died, leaving Clark to wonders sadly if the monster could have been saved as it had no control over its actions. A relieved Lois embraces him as the other two supers look on in bittersweet triumph.
Several days later, the President, on the behest of the Helen Hunt Senator, gives Superman a full pardon. The world also starts to see rising of actual superheroes to take in the increase of villains having been inspired by the actions of the newly dubbed Trinity. The ending shows that long term exposure to Kryptonite left Lex without any hair, cementing his iconic look. He had also beem arrested and tried and ends up locked up at a mental institution on an insanity plea. His other henchmen & Tess are jailed and Luthor's company scrambles to do damage control. Bruce catches up to Clark and apologizes for being cold. They part ways on better terms before musing at the similarities between their alter egos. Diana teases that they make a great team and returns to the capital with her team. Bruce returns to Gotham and stops at the cemetery to place flowers on Jason Todd's grave, showing that he moved to the acceptance stage of grief. Jimmy also ends up getting a job as an intern for Daily Planet with Lois as his mentor this time. And Nicola goes to Gotham to work as a social worker and takes up a case: Cassandra Cain.
The final scene ends with Clark as Superman dressed up in Metropolis visiting a local orphanage/foster home, showing that at his core he truly does care about humanity despite all them haters. 👏👏 👏 happy ending everyone!!!
The movie ends with a montage of
- Cyborg walking around aimlessly in his hometown and finding a discarded newspaper highlighting the heroes' exploits and getting the idea to try becoming a hero himself
- Aquaman in his kingdom catching up with the surface world and becoming curious, and wonders about an alliance
- Barry standing in a hill in his city in costume. He grins and smiles, before pulling over his cowl and racing off
- And Lex, plotting an escape from his cell, suddenly sees a peculiarly tall guard looming over him. He makes a digging comment that the guard shrugs off. To his surprise the guard unlocks the cell and leads Lex out. Lex asks who the guard is; the guard slips off his disguises revealing a sapient Gorilla...Gorilla Grodd!
All This sets up a future plot point that wouldn't be explored until after Justice League where we're introduced to the cinematic LEGION OF DOOM!!! The prototype they fight is not doomsday but foreshadows the creation of Bizarro (who was one of the original members of the LoD).
With the actual Justice League movie we continue with the formation of the team through several subplots converging into one major story arc. The Helen Hunt Senator plays a huge role being their ally and influence on building the Hall of Justice. Plus more Brucola stuff because we need fun stuff in Batman, Tom King.
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queenmylovely · 4 years
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Wedding Party I
Summary: Ben hardy x fem!reader. Lucy and Rami’s wedding is coming up and you and Ben are both part of the wedding party, with one catch. 
Word Count: 4.6k
Warnings: cussing, fluff, some roasting of reader 
A/N: This is the third and final part of my 500 follower celebration!! Though you might be able to guess that this will have more than one part, so stay tuned! Thank you so much again to everyone who follows me, including the people that have since I hit 500, cause it’s been a minute, whoops. I’m hoping to post updates to this weekly until it’s done. (Side note, obviously not shaming reader and neither are any of her friends, including Lucy, she just doesn’t want any drama.) Any feedback is super appreciated but especially replies, messages, and asks are super helpful for my writing ‘cause I get to hear what you think!
Part II, Part III, Part IV, Mini i, Mini ii, Masterlist
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(hot hot hot gif by @mrbenhardys​)
💖💖💖
Over the past couple years, you had found yourself attending no fewer than three weddings a year, and last year broke the record with six. It was always a bit of a to do but you enjoyed it nonetheless, happy to see your friends happy and to go to a party. You hadn’t always been so happy to go; originally you were a little cynical and bitter about being single while all of your school and university friends got married. But then, at the second wedding you had been to, you hooked up with the best man and your opinion had been changed. It was easy to be happy for the happy couple when you were having hot sex with friends of friends with no chance for strings or feelings.
As such, you had grown a bit of a reputation among your friends that had borne witness to this behavior. A few teased you about it, a couple were silent, and a few more cheered you on, but none tried to stop you. This was mainly because none of them had seen how it would negatively impact them. And it wasn’t like it was terrible, but on more than one occasion you and some other guest had been walked in on, sometimes only a heated making out, but sometimes in the act. You had apologized and even tried to make it till after the reception, but it was hard sometimes with all the free booze and romantic songs and pretty lights making you hornier than ever.
Maybe there had been some awkward happenings when it was a destination wedding and the wedding party had events the next day. While you were happy with the one and done, some of the men you had hooked up with would be miffed when you kicked them out after the deed and didn’t seem so interested the next morning. After a couple uncomfortable brunches where everyone could feel the tension in the air (and not the good kind), you had decided to stick with the guys that were just a bit douchey and wouldn’t be so pained at a one night stand. Not that they didn’t sometimes get butthurt when you dropped ‘em too.
But to you, that was the beauty of the thing: hot sex for one night and one night only. You and whoever else you were with would exist in a made-up wedding world for the ceremony, reception, a couple hours of fucking, and then it would all be over and you could go back to your real world without any consequences. Okay, so only a couple consequences.
You thought that you would be able to keep this up indefinitely; you had a ton of friends in relationships who would have plenty of eligible bachelors at their weddings. That is, until your best friend, Lucy, got engaged to Rami. When she had invited you over for brunch just the two of you and had told you the news, you were enthralled for her. Rami was an amazing guy and you had never seen Lucy as happy as when she was with him. And then you were enthralled for yourself when you thought about all Rami’s actor friends that would undoubtedly be there. You had already met a couple, Joe and Gwilym, and if they were any sign of what level of men would be there, you couldn’t wait.
Your daydreams all came crashing down around you when Lucy abruptly said, “You’re not allowed to fuck anyone at my wedding.”
The two of you had just separated from your happy hug so she put her hands on your shoulders to make sure you looked at her and were paying attention.
“I-I-- What?” you stumbled out, brought from your reverie that was running through a list of A-list celebrity names that might be at the wedding. You tried to look innocent but the fiery look in Lucy’s eyes stopped you. So instead you whined, “Why?”
Lucy just rolled her eyes, though fondly, and replied, “Sit down.”
The two of you sat down at the wonderful brunch she (probably with help from Rami who was quite the home cook) had made and plated a couple items, poured mimosas, and you took your first bite before she continued.
“Obviously, Rami and I are very private people. We don’t like our relationship broadcasted to the public, and Rami feels that way about most of his life in general. So we’ve decided to have a really small wedding. We want it to be intimate and to share our love with each person that attends. We don’t feel like we have to prove anything or live up to any crazy standard and invite hundreds of people, half of whom we’ve never even spoken to,” Lucy explained, and throughout her little speech you felt yourself get a little emotional because you could tell how truly and deeply she and Rami loved each other. Lucy’s voice cracked a little and you reached your hand over to hers to give it a gentle squeeze.
Lucy took a sip of her drink and then said with a more pointed tone, “So because we are close friends or family with every single person that will be there, we don’t want anybody… fraternizing with anybody else and causing… awkward circumstances for us or any of the guests.”
“‘We,’ Lucy? Rami told you he didn’t want me fucking anyone?” you asked sarcastically.
“Well, when I say we I mean me, mainly. But Rami does want a drama-free wedding, as do I,” Lucy conceded. As she finished her sentence, Rami walked in having returned from what looked like the gym.
“What about me? Hi Y/N, hi sweet,” Rami said, dropping a kiss to your cheek briefly and then giving Lucy a more substantial one on the lips.
“Oh we were just talking about the wedding, you know,” Lucy said and Rami grinned.
“Did you ask her?” he inquired.
“Ask me what?”
“Well you know that Emma and I have had a pact to have each other as our maids of honour since we were like two and three,” she started and you nodded, knowing the story because she and her sister had relayed it many times over the years you had known them. “But will you do me the honour of being one of my bridesmaids?” A big smile took over your face and you jumped up to hug her, practically yelling “yes!” into her ear. Then you brought Rami into the hug as well, all of you laughing and smiling.
When that was done, you all sat back down, Rami pulling up a chair and grabbing a plate. Then you turned to him and said, “So Rami, Luce was just about to tell me about all of your friends that are going to be there.”
You were just teasing, but as you saw Lucy’s miffed face, you couldn’t help yourself. “You know, I really liked meeting Joe and Gwilym, it’d be nice to see them again. And can’t forget about that Ben who you all talk so much about. ‘Haven’t met him yet, but I’m sure the wedding will fix that.”
So that Lucy couldn’t see, you winked at Rami to make sure he knew you were joking, mostly.
Before you could say another word, Lucy burst out, “No, do not fuck anyone. Okay? Do. Not. Fuck. Anyone. Especially Ben.”
Your ears perked up at that, “Ben? Why especially Ben?”
“Uhhhhhhh,” Lucy hesitated for a second, a look of panic taking over her face.
“Because you guys will be walking together and you’ll spend the most time together,” Rami saved her.
“Yeah, it would mess up the whole party’s dynamic. Just don’t okay?” Lucy asked with a pleading look in her eyes to make you feel guilty.
“Okay, geez, I won’t. You guys act like I’m some floozy who can’t keep it in her pants,” you half-pouted for a second, but then they both gave you a look. “Whatever, I won’t, I won’t!”
_
Unbeknownst to you, the reason they were so hell-bent on keeping your attention off Ben specifically was not because he was the groomsman to your bridesmaid (although that would’ve been reason enough). It was actually because Ben had the exact same reputation amongst his friends as you did yours.
After he had gotten out of a more serious relationship a couple years ago, he hadn’t settled down again. With plenty of friends getting married, his was the same fruitful situation as yours, and he used it to his benefit. The wedding scene was a lot more reliable than just hitting up any old bar or pub.
Ben had also gotten the no fucking speech, but from Rami when he asked him to be a groomsman. He had agreed to the rule with a begrudging nod. Ben was easier to convince since he was mutual friends with a lot of Lucy and Rami’s friends and would know most everyone at the wedding.
While you and Lucy had been best friends for years, you weren’t an actress and didn’t already know most of her actor friends. Because of Lucy’s filming schedules and locations, you relied on a lot of facetime to keep up with each other. You had only met Joe because you had tagged along on a Venice trip with Lucy and Rami. Gwilym you had got to know a bit more because whenever Lucy and Rami were in town for more than a week they liked to have dinner parties or game nights and both of you were frequently in attendance. Ben’s filming schedule or other priorities had always prevented him from joining in, at least for times you had gone.
Of course you had seen pictures of Ben on everyone’s instagram, and maybe had done some stalking of your own. Not to mention you watched Bohemian Rhapsody, obviously, and had caught a couple of other things he had been in just by happenstance. He seemed like a pretty good actor and a pretty great guy from what you could tell. Plus, you trusted the judgement of your friends about his character.
_____
Lucy and Rami weren’t ones to do the more extravagant things that some engaged couples did. Instead of a big engagement party, they decided to have a dinner party with just their families and the wedding party.
The party started at 6:30pm, so you got there… at 6:50pm. You hadn’t meant to be late but you couldn’t decide between two dresses, worrying that the one you wanted to wear would be too dressy. You ended up going for it anyway, it was black with an opaque sweetheart neckline and a mesh and lace section that made it sleeveless and so it wasn’t actually strapless. It wasn’t bodycon but it hugged your curves nicely and had gold shimmery thread as part of the lace that caught the light. You had also done your makeup and hair quickly but thought that the overall effect was nice.
As you arrived at their door, you tried the handle, hoping it was open so you could slip in quietly, but no dice. So you knocked twice and stepped back to wait. No answer came so you knocked again louder and waited again. Just as you were about to raise your hand again, the door swung open and you saw Joe there.
He smiled when he recognized you; the two of you had become quick friends during those couple days in Venice.
But before he could say anything, you glanced past him and asked, “Dinner hasn’t started, right? I’m not that late?”
Joe laughed and shook his head, “No, everyone’s still getting drinks and stuff. You’re only like five minutes behind the last person to arrive. Nice to see you by the way.”
You laughed sheepishly and leaned in for the hug he offered, “Nice to see you too, Joe. How’s everything?”
The two of you headed further into the apartment as he told you, “Pretty good. I'm actually starting filming just outside London so I’ll be over here basically until right after the wedding. No trips back and forth for me.”
“That’s great! And that means you’ll be ‘round for game nights. I’ll have to warn you that Gwilym and I make a great team.”
Joe scoffed at that, “Gwil and I are a great team, thank you very much.”
“Funny, he hasn’t mentioned anything to me about your skills,” you shot back with a smirk.
“Guess we’ll just have to ask him.”
“Guess we will.”
Gwilym ended up being the first person the two of you saw as you entered the living room. He saw you walk in and headed over quickly with a big smile on his face.
“Ah Y/N, glad you made it!” he said, leaning down for a peck on the cheek and a quick hug.
“Yep, and only 20 fashionable minutes late,” you replied and the three of you laughed.
“Alright, alright, introductions are over. We have something to settle with you Gwil,” Joe said seriously.
“Oh?” Gwil asked, a little confused.
“That’s right. Joe and I wanted to know which one of us is the best game night partner,” you asked, pointing an accusatory finger as Joe squinted his eyes at him.
Gwil broke out in laughter, which only seemed slightly nervous. “Well you see… It’s like comparing apples and oranges. Y/N you’re better at trivia but Joe you’re really good at charades.”
Joe and you looked at each other and then back to Gwil.
“Seems like a bit of a cop-out to me,” Joe pointed out.
“Yeah, why don’t you just give us a real--”
“Y/N! There you are!” you heard Lucy calling out to you and you turned to see your best friend excusing herself from some of her family members. She half ran over to you and pulled you in for a tight hug.
“Hey you look nice,” you told her when you pulled back and could see her outfit. She was in a flowy cream colored dress with ruffles and gold ribbon sewn in.
“Thank you,” she replied. Then a cheeky smile took over her face and she told you, “You look a bit like a young widow attending her 80-year-old husband’s funeral after killing him in his sleep. All you’re missing is the black veil.”
“Shut up!”
“Don’t listen to her, Y/N, you look lovely,” Rami told you as he walked up.
As he kissed your cheek and you leaned in for a hug you told him while looking at Lucy, “Thank you, Rami, you truly are such a good friend.”
“I’m just telling it like it is,” Lucy shrugged to everyone’s amusement.
Everyone got to chatting and catching up, but when you were in the middle of a conversation with Gwil, Lucy pulled you away.
“Where did he get to?” Lucy wondered, looking around the room. “Who--?”
“Ah there he is,” Lucy told herself more than you and started pulling you over to the other side of the room.
You had no idea where she was leading you to until you noticed a man with blonde hair facing the other direction and talking to a couple you didn’t know. Realizing it must be Ben, your stomach dropped but whether it was out of anticipation, excitement, or anxiousness you couldn’t tell. Ben had been hyped up so much both by your friends and by the idea of him you had in your mind. Now it was even worse after that speech Lucy had given you a couple weeks ago. Even though she hadn’t meant to, she was putting all of your attention on Ben with the thought of sex in mind. Now you were just trying to stave it off so you didn’t make a fool of yourself upon meeting him.
Taking a deep breath in as Lucy tapped on his shoulder, you tried to ready yourself for anything that might happen. Ben looked quickly and saw that it was Lucy and politely excused himself from the conversation.
Even just hearing him say that made your eyes widen slightly; he had such a deep, rich voice that in any other case your mouth would practically be watering at the thought of what it would sound like in bed. Now, you had that thought but had to drop it quickly from your mind because it would lead places that weren’t allowed.
Ben finally turned around, smiling at Lucy and then his expression turned to interest when he saw you.
“Ben, I’d like you to meet my best friend, Y/N. Y/N, this is Ben,” Lucy said and the two of you shook hands, smiling and exchanging pleasantries. “Okay so you both already know that you’ll be walking together so… get to know each other! Become, acquainted, better yet become friends!”
Both of you laughed lightly at Lucy’s words and then waved her off when someone started calling for her.
“So you’re the infamous Ben,” you said jokingly, looking him up and down as if you were studying him and not as if he was just incredibly good to look at.
“Infamous? Do I have that bad of a reputation?” Ben said back good-naturedly, though he was a little worried you had heard about his penchant for sleeping with people at weddings, especially with Rami confronting him about it.
“Well, maybe not bad, more I’ve just heard about you so much without meeting you that if it weren’t for your movies I wouldn’t have thought you really existed,” you amended with a smile.
“Oh my movies, huh? You’ve seen more than one?” Ben asked cheekily and your cheeks flushed for a moment.
“Well I’ve obviously seen borhap, as you would call it, and I saw X-Men before all that to keep up with the series, and my family’s very into action movies, so I caught 6 Underground with them,” you explained.
“Seems like you’re pretty familiar with my filmography,” he pointed out with a smile.
“If that’s what you wanna think…”
“I think that you’ve been here for about ten minutes and no one’s gotten you a drink. Can I fix that?” Ben asked, gesturing to your empty hands.
“Lead the way,” you replied, and he guided you over to where a little bar was set up. On the way, you had to remind yourself again of the rules and that though a handsome man was making you a drink, that was all that was happening.
“Alright, they’ve got the works so what would you like?” Ben said with an easy smile.
“Oh, um, I like Moscow mules,” you told him.
“Good choice, good choice,” Ben replied as he looked around at the different bottles. “A Moscow mule…”
“Do you know how to make a Moscow mule?” you asked because he had missed the ginger beer bottle about three times.
“What? Of course I… don’t,” he admitted sheepishly.
“It’s okay, I can just make it,” you suggested but Ben shook his head.
“No, I said I was going to get you a drink, and I’ll make it. If you could just tell me how?” he said with a small smile.
You laughed and nodded, “Okay, so just squeeze a lime wedge into the glass and go ahead and drop it in. Then a couple ice cubes, that’s good. And now two oz. of vodka, actually why don’t you do one and a half, I don’t need two right now. Now you just fill the rest with ginger beer and give it a stir!”
Ben stirred the drink and then garnished it with another lime wedge, “Ta-da, my first ever Moscow mule and all for you!”
Taking it from him, you waited until he grabbed his own drink again and then held yours up for a cheers. After taking a sip you said, “Mmm, very good, just like a real bartender. Do you want to try?”
“Sure,” he replied with a smile and you carefully exchanged drinks so he didn’t have to hold both while he did. Your hands brushed against each other a couple times and you had to keep your breath from catching at how warm his hands were and the way he looked at you when it happened. “Oh wow, yeah that’s very good. Maybe I’ll have to have these from now on.”
“And hey, if the acting thing ever stops working out, you could always fall back on being a bartender,” you joked, unable to stop your laughter.
Ben shook his head but laughed too, saying, “That’s cold, that’s cold.”
Then he took another gulp of your drink and you reached forward to get it from him, “Hey, that’s mine, make your own if you’re so good at it.”
“Just a repayment for you being so mean. There, have it back,” he said with a smirk, handing it back to you and grabbing his own drink from your hand.
“Hmph,” you held your drink close to you to keep him from getting it again and Ben laughed at your actions, about to say something else when Rami was heard over the chatter saying that dinner was ready.
_
For dinner you were sat in between Lucy and Joe with Ben across from you and Gwilym and Rami next to him. Talk and laughter interrupted the actual eating of the meal, but it was hard to mind because everyone was having so much fun. Lucy and Rami’s families were on the other side of them, so everyone got to hear funny stories about their childhood as well.
After dinner, you and Emma had volunteered to get the dessert ready after some others had helped put away the dishes. You took it as an opportunity to catch up a little.
“So, you and that Ben seem to be hitting it off,” Emma said in a teasing tone as she started grabbing little plates from a cupboard.
“Please, you’re not doing recon for Lucy are you?” you asked with a roll of your eyes and taking the cleaned forks from the dish rack.
Emma looked at you confusedly, “What do you mean?”
“She didn’t tell you what she told me?” you asked and she shook her head. You sighed, taking the cover off the homemade sheet cake as you told her, “She told me that I wasn’t allowed to fuck anyone. And especially Ben because we’re walking together.”
Emma broke out in laughter at the words you said and the dejected way in which you said them, accidentally dropping the cake server onto the counter with a clatter, “Oh my gosh, honestly I can’t blame her, you do kinda wreak havoc on weddings.”
“That’s not fair! There’s only been like two outright verbal fights because of me,” you defended, taking the cake server yourself and starting to cut squares of cake.
“Hey, don’t take your anger out on the cake,” she pointed to your first haphazard piece of cake. “Anyway, how many passive aggressive altercations have there been because of you?”
“I dunno,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders but Emma’s look made you add, “Fine, a lot.”
“Exactly, now Ben’s hot I’ll give you that,  but I think you can survive these next weeks without jumping his bones. It’s not like you’ll be seeing him all the time,” Emma told you.
“Yes, yes, I’ll be an adult, whatever. Lucy and Rami already covered this, you know,” you said with a bit of annoyance.
“Okay I’ll shut up. Let’s get this cake out there before there’s a riot,” she joked and you smiled, following her back into the living room with the pan of cake as she took the forks and plates.
_
Emma’s speech (you swore next it’ll be their mom telling you not to fuck Ben) did give you new resolve not to get too friendly with Ben, thinking it was better to interact with him in groups from now on.
That plan went well for most of the rest of the night as Joe, Gwilym, and Emma proved effective buffers. But then Gwilym had to leave because he had call time in the morning and Joe went with because he was staying with him. Then Emma went off to compare notes with Sami, Rami’s brother, about their respective maid of honor and best man responsibilities. You looked around and realized that because it was getting later and the families had gone home and Lucy and Rami were off doing who knows what in the kitchen, you were completely alone with Ben.
Not only that, but you were sitting right next to him on the couch and your knees were definitely touching. You tapped your fingers on your cup as you listened to Ben. He was telling you about shooting in Italy, which you had asked about because after going to Venice, you wanted to see more, but it was hard to pay attention. Your focus was being brought to his hands that he used to gesture as he talked. To his hair that he would absent-mindedly run his fingers through whenever a strand fell down onto his forehead. To his lips, oh fuck his full lips, that he licked whenever he smiled or laughed.
You could feel yourself leaning closer to him and if you weren’t wrong, his words were slowing down and he was getting closer to you too.
“So, yeah, I loved Florence, but um, Siena was something-- something special. It’s, it’s really-- really gorgeous,” Ben finished.
You looked up at him but found that he was looking at your lips and had tugged his own between his teeth. With the second drink in your system and the way you could feel Ben’s body heat radiating towards you and pulling you in, you were a second away from saying fuck it iand just kissing him.
“Are you done with your drink? Do you need another or?” Lucy’s voice asking you brought both of you out of whatever state you were in and you moved apart from each other, not so subtly.
You looked to Lucy and didn’t miss the pointed look she was giving you. “No, I should probably actually head out. I’ve got something in the morning, thanks though.”
Ben stood up when you did and you said goodbye with a strictly friendly hug. Then you said goodbye to Lucy, telling her quietly that she didn’t have to say anything. You found Rami with Emma and Sami and said goodbye to all of them.
As you were headed to the front door to let yourself out, Ben walked up behind you.
“Hold on a second,” he said and you turned around to him with a pleasant smile. “I, um, wanted to give you my number in case there’s ever anything that we need to discuss or whatever since we’re, you know, walking together.”
Ben was a little awkward getting that out, so you handed your phone to him with a bright, “Sure!” to reassure him.
He typed in his phone number and you were ready to walk away with a quick goodbye but Ben got a look in his eye. For a second you thought he was going to kiss you and your breath caught, and then he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. Although not the kiss you were expecting, it still had an effect on you. It was different to the ones you had gotten from say Gwilym or Rami. Though it was probably just as quick, it felt a lot longer and just that simple act made your whole body feel warm.
“Looking forward to seeing you soon,” Ben said softly, hardly waiting for your quiet, “you too” before walking back to the living room.
You reached your hand up to the spot on your cheek he had kissed and walked out the door. That warm feeling didn’t go away all night.
💖💖💖
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shinondraws · 7 years
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Jeez. You and your followers can be nasty when you want to. Let people ship what they want ffs. That's how people work, you know? They have different tastes. Just because you are too dense and close-minded to dislike or not get a pairing that other people like doesn't mean that it's stupid or ridiculous or whatever you want to call it. How about you shit on ships based on incest or rape or some other messed up shit? Why shit on a perfectly healthy pairing? Good grief
How about you sit that butthurt ass of yours down and take a good look at what has been said before accusing me of any of that. This has gotten ridiculous and I’m fed up with you people.
Firstly, I haven’t stopped anyone from shipping anything. You are making assumptions based on solely my differing opinion. And that is all this is about. I reblogged that ask meme and people sent me ships so I could give my brutally honest opinion on them. And people reacted, whether they agreed on it or not. It is true that I do not like a lot of ships and that I use a lot of harsh words when I talk about them but I don’t shit on people for liking it. I am not targeting anyone when I talk about this stuff, I am only focusing on the ship and my own observations and thoughts on it. What I did was point out where the ships fail and voiced my own opinion on it.
People who couldn’t take such criticism, just like you, got mad at me for having a different opinion. But I never even once said that you can’t ship what you want. My opinion DOES NOT stop you from shipping whatever you want. One more time, just because I think your OTP sucks doesn’t stop you in any way unless you let it. But oh, when I voice my different opinion people like you get so personally offended that you are the ones who become nasty. I have been told to go fuck myself for disliking a thing. You come to me telling me that I’m a dense and closed-minded person. I never personally attacked anyone but judged a fictional pairing because I think it doesn’t work. Harshly, yes, but that gives you no right to come at me on anon to call me out for things I haven’t done.
Here’s a thing. When someone voices an opinion that differs from yours and you get all those angery vibes again, you take a deep breath and you walk away. People have different opinions all the time. You can have yours but because mine is negative and different I’m not supposed to have it? That’s not how the world works, you know, and you’ll have some troubles if you don’t understand it in a simple thing like a fictional pairing online. 
This is exactly the reason why the extreme shipping culture is so unhealthy. People like you are so quick to cling onto a differing opinion, turn it into a personal offense and go after people with differing opinions spreading the hate you blame me for. I do not hate you guys for liking a thing. I dislike the ship because in my mind it doesn’t work and I explained it with reasonable points in case you missed it. But YOU hate me for having a different opinion and you attack me for it. Aren’t you being the closed minded one here?
So please, calm down. Negative opinions on things that are different from yours are not negative opinions on you. You and many others who reacted on that post say I need to chill, I need to go fuck myself, but in your little head me and my followers are the nasty ones? Because we disagree?
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wontonsupremacy · 5 years
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Rant/Column of Human relationships: The Judgement in continuing or cutting people off, what factors affect us?
As a starting thesis I’d like to say this is a rant, but also a pseudo Journalist attempt. Think of it like Sex and the City where the narrator rants and hypothesizes about “current dating culture”. Except mine doesn’t have sex in it quite yet. -- Scroll all the way down to see the conclusion if you don’t want to see my rants lmao.
So what happenned was that Kim and I have been hanging out wayyyy too much too closely when we still really don’t know each other. Its been highly stressful already and me getting Assistant Director to her Director was something I was scared of.  She has alot of classes and alot of things going on despite her becoming director, and with the change of directors I realize there will be huge changed in the committee-- as well as members leaving. The problem is that the committee is already wayy smaller than it should be that we have had to have other directors and ask for volunteers so much. She has family issues, especially with her dad and I realize that she probably didnt need to hear anything from me quite yet. But with me becoming assistant director, many things have come up, and I’ve also had to come up to tell her about the committee issue last friday.  Already there’s huge conflict inside me about her, because I obviously knew that I should have been soft with calling her out as a director. I also realize that I was highly stressed at her, not anyone else but her because she kept asking me to hang out, to come see her at union board, to come to here and there THEN whine about not getting her homework done. I’ve witnessed that she spends more time on youtube videos streaming while she does her homework, and lets just say it is highly frustrating for me to hang out with her when I could be productive, when I also definetly am not “part of her distraction” to do her homework and youtubing.  I guess this is how Kuro felt too, but its not more so of her and her lifestyle, but the fact that I want to help her and support her and root for her mental health and all that, but she’s not helping herself and I feel like I’m just wasting my energy and feelings. I definetly feel like Kuro. I just sigh and I don’t want to be tied down to this.  I have things to do as well, and as much as I love hanging out with someone like her who is equally needy, straight up with opinions and roasting, has a strange sense of humour and doesn’t like to deal with drama, -- I think our friendship may already becoming an end if I don’t keep my distance with her.  A match may light up quicker but go out sooner.  Lets just say that for both of us, it was necessary to take a step back, distance ourselves and at worst cut ourselves off from each other to maintain peace. I was becoming really crabby and irritative at her. I miss her, we know, we both probably do inside but I know Kim doesn’t miss me because she’s probably already smashed the door to her emotions toward me. I’ve already emotionally betrayed her- but it was necessary for the both of us right?  And its not like I had to do a “talk” about this feeling. It’s more so that I think I used the committee issue to stress talk and she got the hint. Which I must be more than grateful for, especially because I’ve been so busy that I only got irritated about this an hour ago when I accidentally thought of her and checked if she had messaged me-- and ofcourse, my butthurt ass saw she hadn’t even read my apology I typed last Friday, which clicked me on and infuriated me in some way, brought back memories of why I had been so angry, and I am typing right now.  I haven’t heard from her at all, and I’m glad that I’ve met Kuro already that I don’t have to bitch at her. I think on the positive side, I could practice being more open hearted, understanding, and more casual and lenient to this kind of lifestyle. There’s a girl that talked to be from a dating app recently and she’s like me, and I’m like Kim to her. She wants faster and more frequent texting, warming up quicker and more real talk. Lets just say I’ve already found red flags and decided not to go with it because of my anxiety. I told her me and her would just be friends, and if she responds I’m hoping not to respond anymore.  I guess its exactly that. Being stressed over small things aren’t a thing for certain seasons of certain people. If I can’t be open to that, then its the end. I think that’s what I can change if Kuro ever came back to be a friend to me, even if its not a relationship this kind of issue can definetly become a big issue to someone who wants frequent contact.  Rushing things is bad-- I guess I should put it that way, but its exactly that. Matching someone’s life tempo/speed is a thing, and should be a thing. If you can’t deal with it you leave.  Conclusion So in the end it comes down to:
Do you like this person enough to go through with dealing with them, their lifestyle, their life tempo/speed, and if you can keep that up with them-- and if they can keep up if you can’t.  It’s a cooperation, human relationships. But sometimes we need to realize who is a priority, you? or them? And the judgement that goes into this ultimately comes down to weighing their value against your life, including your own health and future possibilities you might be missing.  A good example of this would be Kade. I hated him for a huge chunk of my year I met him, we were nothing more than casual friends who ranted to each other, but lets say when he made a point in saying he didn’t want to hear anymore and he was done, I was done with him too. But I found out I actually really liked Kade, and despite him being such a rude and sassy Queen, I got over my offended ass and stuck my hand back out to him to say “How’s it going?” after a bit of a hiatus. As it turns out, he liked me enough too to say “I’m doing way better than last year.” and eventually we were visiting each other’s houses back and forth.  So do I like Kim?  It would be nice to have her over again, with some changed to how frequent I hang and how long. Occasional stay-overs would be cool. Occasional hangouts outside would be cooler since I can go home without begging for a ride.The importance here would be to find an ideal situation for a good friendship balance. My friendship balance with her is alot more distanced from her than what I’d imagined, I’m surprised, myself, but this is how comfortable I actually am around her, and not right now.  What should I improve to make this work- am I capable of these improvements?  I will have to definitely be capable of maintaining emotional distance from her. I will also have to be even more straightforward with my insecurity with her and to be nice about it. I will also have to definitely organize not only my personal life and time around her, but also “union board me” and “friend me” (via Alexis the dumb adviser, shitty I have to agree to this). This includes knowing when to call her out on certain things, and when to not, when to wait until the time is crucial. I’m definitely rooting for only mentioning things she’s doing “wrong” or “difficult” if it has become a large issue, she wants/asks my opinion, but also when there is a huge need to-- do not be “helpful” as a friend as an assistant director.  As a friend I will also need to not talk about work related things too much, if the topic comes up I will have to maintain my assistant director viewpoint. I will focus on being straightforward, to voice my opinion in other things, to joke and proceed as usual-- but I will need to clarify my own needs, to organize and manage my own time, and learn to mind my own business, but still be considerate to others. This consideration definitely has to include certain comparisons and mentioning of member/friend names to make a certain point to Kim (using Kade vs. Her was a really bad idea). The biggest issue I would have changing though, is that she will only contact you if she needs you, likes you, feels ready to talk to you, or has a specific reason she has to contact you. -- I will not ever, be able to catch her on my needs, ask her for a reliable favor, or maintain contact on stable ground. I will have to be okay with her being unreliable, expect inconsistency, and expect her to leave if she does one day and be okay with it. The thing is, it’s not that I’m not trusting her anymore, or the fact that I will never get emotionally close to her anymore either. The importance is placing trust in this negative factor of hers that I don’t like; placing trust in her consistency. In this case, I trust her to be consistent in being inconsistent, unreliable, and contacting me only on her terms. Now, I have to use these factors positively.  How?-- Usually people who act a certain way thinks it is completely normal to act this way, hence, I can act the same way and it will be justified. On the positive side, I only have to meet with her when both of us truly want to , she will never be two-sided if I do meet her, and if she hits me up that means she actually enjoys my company. When she doesn’t, she has a clear no, and whatever I send her is simply answered as ‘no’. I will have to read her action as the response, and not wait for an actual response. In general, I do like Kim a bit. Not the absolute dismay if I have lost her already, but knowing these changes, I feel better already, and I think I’m capable of these changes. This will lead to a way more casual friendship (as friendships should be in some ways?), and I think is balanced for our current closeness. We are still somewhat strangers and I think its good to clarify where we stand and how to move from this step.  As far as the improvement goes, I will see her Tuesday, and I will not stay extra hours unless she asks. If she reads my messages, messages me again to hang, that means we are not as done as I thought. But also I will see her replying at all as a sign of friendship, if not, I will appropriately see it as an end and leave it at that.  The rest? I need to chill and freak out less too quickly. Holding a casual feel is the best thing I can do. 
So here’s a list for me:
(1) Maintaining emotional distance (2) Straightforward communication of insecurities  (3) Be able to organize work and friendship separately  (3(a) -- Holding back opinions during work (she is the director) (3(b) -- Continue as usual but maintain assistant director attitude on certain topics, but also be considerate. 
(4) Trust in her consistency: she will only contact her if she wants to, she is unreliable, and she will leave if she wants to. 
(4(a) I can act the same way and she will be okay. (5) Read her action, don’t wait for her response.  (5) (example:) Don’t stay if she doesn’t ask you to. Don’t go by her terms if I have other things to do.   Only meet her if she asks.  Don’t hang if you don’t want to. Ask her if you want to, but don’t expect a response.  Do not expect anything that you haven’t asked for.  Don’t ask too much because she may not be capable of it. If she offers, she is capable of it.  Let her lead until she asks you to help.
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