#SO many people in the comments being happy that Ed's being held accountable

[chocolatepot]

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[greymattermaelstrom]

Ozlander Fan Gathering 2020  -   The Rik and Sophie Show

I attended Ozlander in Melbourne. What an incredible weekend so would like to share my Ozlander experience with you. Of course, it was during the very early days of covid-19 which I’ll address shortly. I’d never met any of the cast before, nor any group of like minded fans. Of course, you are usually lucky to know anyone who watch the TV show (not counting a partner) in your circle of friends let alone personally know a group of fans to chat with. It’s funny though, I’m not sure what I expected, but I thought people would have in depth discussions about OL characters/plots during coffee breaks or in line ups for autographs/photos. I didn’t experience that. I think it was a given that we were all deep into OL. Instead, I found we just chatted and got to know each other, ‘Where are you from?’ etc. As this was the first formal Outlander convention held in Australia, this was big news. I bought my ticket the day they were available (Nov 2019). It was a long way off but I knew the gathering would occur a short time after the first few episodes of Outlander S5 were broadcast, so when S5 started airing, my anticipation grew. Prices were steep admittedly, but a number of us felt it may be the first and last opportunity to meet a cast member, so we did what we could to get there (i.e. sell the healthiest child, blackmail the rich, etc).

Article from “The Scottish Banner” Feb 2020.

Unfortunately, 4 weeks out, Ed Speleers withdrew due to work commitments but local, David Berry, was announced as his replacement on the same day. Then 10 days out, Graham McTavish withdrew due to work commitments in Slovakia. No news of a replacement was announced (I learnt at the event that organising a visa etc with Covid-19 developing had made it nigh on impossible to organise a replacement in time). Ozlander organisers revisited the program and added extra value features to the various tiers. The gathering weekend was so close, yet seemed so far away in these uncertain times. Every day, I anticipated receiving an email stating it had been cancelled. I knew the organisers must have been pulling their hair out. Selfishly and as long as it was safe to do so, I was hoping it would still go ahead. The virus was not as advanced in Australia. Most of our relatively low number of cases were brought in by travellers (residents returning or tourists) from Europe/Asia before flying was cancelled. The Federal Government had restricted public gatherings to less than 500 at the time. Attendance was actually under 200.  FYI, below are the global covid-19 stats as of 19 April 2020, a month later. Australia’s population is 25 million.

A few days after the Ozlander event, only crowds of less than 100 were permitted by the govt. We were so, so lucky!! Of course, that reduced further as precautions were implemented over time. We have self-isolation and a lot of business closures, cancellation of sports/entertainment etc. It is dreadful, but not a total lock down in Australia. We could walk dogs and make necessary trips to the supermarket, pharmacy, doctor or special court appearances. Anyway, just wanted to address this concern. ~ Tickets sold well (premium tickets sold out). I saw fans on sm stating the date of the event clashed or it was a bit expensive so I know more wanted to come. Yes, the cost was relatively high. Return airfares for cast, accommodation, plus I assume their appearance fee was always going to be an expensive venture, especially as our AUD had been declining sharply against the USD for some time. Australia can miss out on some things because of distance and a relatively small population, but overall, I think we have done well over the years. ~ Rik (Richard) and Sophie posted IG photos from Melbourne a couple of days before the event. Yay!! They were in the country at least, enjoying the sunsets, cuddling koalas and hypnotising wallabies lol. Sophie posted a selfie from a public toilet (bathroom) - as you do. See Sam’s comment below. Toilet paper was becoming a precious commodity....🤔

So the odds looked good and finally, Ozlander arrived.🥳 Before we took our seats, a lone piper slowly walked into the throng playing Waltzing Matilda (iconic Australian bush ballad) which segued into Outlander's theme song. Goosebumps! Applause all 'round. The piper was a big fan too.

What a thrilling start to proceedings. We took our seats and Meagan Taylor (the one who dared dream the dream), welcomed everyone. The age range of fans was predominately 40-65. We were excited and expectant. Housekeeping announcements focused on coronavirus precautions of course. Wash hands, use hand sanitiser when you can't, no handshaking and no touching the cast. This last request was a little disappointing after seeing photos from other OL cons, but it was quite understandable. I think we were just over the moon Ozlander went ahead so we were more than happy to comply and consider the health and safety of others. Then Meagan had the unenviable task of informing us David Berry had unfortunately cancelled his appearance due to health reasons. Yikes! What a shame. (David released a press statement 15 March(?) outlining his difficult decision. Sydney is Australia's Covid-19 hot spot, so David being a Sydneysider, had to consider this I guess). There are IG photos of David, Rik and Sophie together in Australia, just not sure where. So of course, it surprised everyone that David wasn't attending. Refunds of his meet and great and the re-jigging of tiers was to be announced on the fly. Then there were two, Rik and Sophie (and no pressure whatsoever!)🤪. Meagan then advised that the five panels across the weekend would be all audience Q & A which got a loud cheer. On with the show! The Rik and Sophie show! 🎉 They came on stage ready for a good time. Rik opened with 'G'day'. Great start I thought and continued his half decent Australian accent. It's a hard accent to imitate as we know. Rik's was a bit exaggerated but that was part of the fun. 

‘G’day. ‘How are ya’?’

Sophie in an outfit she bought here. Same brand as Saturday’s dress that she brought with her.

Roger Mac is in da house.

I’ll admit, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I have seen Rik and Sophie in a lot of interviews, OL promos (talking to camera) and taking part on OL panels on YouTube. I can find their rapport a little strained and snarky at times. Luckily, I was very pleasantly surprised that their 2020 version was very endearing and entertaining. I think they’ve worked on this. I also think, that the spectre of Sam and Cait, through no fault of their own, does loom large at cast events. Therefore, it was great to see Rik and Sophie rise to the challenge of working the room in the absence of their cast mates. And I think they really relished this (albeit exhausting) opportunity and the small theatre made it a casual and intimate affair. They answered questions in an engaging manner and often expanded on it, citing on set examples, many I’ve never heard before, and I’ve seen a lot of OL interviews. Almost as soon as they came on stage, Rik was asked if he would play his guitar and sing for us. While flattered, I think it was too early in the piece and he said maybe he would do so during the weekend sometime. Alas, time wasn’t on our side so it didn’t eventuate. ~ Rik was asked if his hair ticks were under control (ep 501)😂. Combing his fingers through his hair, he replied in his strong Scottish brogue that most of them were gone now. Good sport. ~ He was told the OL bts photos he posts on sm (taken on set) were great and much appreciated and to keep them coming to which the audience applauded. I think he quietly enjoyed that moment. All creatives will take that, knowing their skills and hard work meant something to someone, much like our appreciation for OL and these sorts of events!

Then on to costumes, wigs and make up. It was thought that it must be nice to have your scalp/hair attended to in the makeup. ‘No, it’s not’ R&S said in unison.😂 Verra uncomfortable process apparently. The hair is flattened and held down with clips. The hairline edge of the wig is ‘glued’ to the top of your forehead and then alcohol is used to get the glue off after shooting, which dries the skin. Some hair falls out over time with this process also. We know this has happened to Sam to an extent.😬 Rik is hoping to grow his hair long enough so he doesn’t need a wig, which accounts for his current hirsute glory. ~ Sophie said they both share a make up trailer and added that Rik has a magic make up chair. Being early morning, he often goes to sleep in it and upon waking up, hey presto, it’s Roger Mac. At make up time, they do know if the other is a bit touchy, so they try not to annoy each other. Too much.😂 ~ At one stage, we were a bit shy in asking questions. Meagan said if this was in the US, there’d be a line up for the mic.😂

Ozlander Fan Gathering 2020 selfie. 

~ Sophie responded to a geeky question about wearing wireless mics secreted in their costumes or hair as well using the usual overhead boom mics you see on bts videos. She was asked about her experience with ADR which she’s not a great fan of it. The audience asked, ‘What’s ADR?’ There are a few accepted terms in the industry, Additional Dialogue Replacement is one. It’s when some dialogue needs to be re-recorded late in post production if the original dialogue audio recording at the time is less than optimal for a variety of reasons (thanks Google). Sophie gave an instance when in S4, Bree told Claire she had been raped. The stream in the background got into the dialogue mics too much in this particular outdoor location, so Sophie had to re-record her dialogue (like lip syncing) saying exactly what she said at the time, whilst watching the scene on a screen in a recording studio. It’s hard to get the context and emotion of the scene back into your voice and that’s why some actors hate doing it and plead to have the original dialogue kept as much as possible. But ADR happens more than you realise and for various reasons (see Google). It is impossible to tell when you watch the show, what scenes have had ADR done, it’s blended so well. They would record the stream/ ambient sounds separately at some point and then mix it in lower against the dialogue after ADR is done. 😅

 ~ Sophie talked about her audition process and was sat down in an exec’s office and was told OL fans are very passionate! (we are?🤔😁). They have an idea of how book Brianna should look and Sophie confirmed she wasn’t tall enough, eyes the wrong colour, etc and that yeah, as expected, she received some not so nice things on sm. But she tried not to read too much of it and pressed on with the role of Bree. Her tone wasn’t sarcastic or indignant at all, but humble. I was impressed. 

Queuing for photos with Rik or Sophie on this occasion. We weren’t allowed to touch but we all had a squirt of hand sanitiser (just to be super safe?).🤔            

There were a few photo opportunities over the weekend and a bonus or two thrown in make up for the cast that couldn’t make it. A refund was offered for people with meet and greet tickets for David. However, R & S kindly offered to do a meet and greet for David’s fans instead and they happily accepted. Legends! I don’t know where they found the energy to be constantly ’on’ with so many people over the weekend. Chocolate? Youth?  ~ As it was a small event, there weren’t any extra security staff that I could see. I think it was only the Museum staff and the security cameras which were hardly noticeable. ~ When getting my autographs, Rik and Sophie didn’t ask for my name, but when I read their personal messages, they had used my name (which they’d seen on my Ozlander lanyard. How cool is that? Very slick!). There were assorted costumes, the de rigueur wedding dress of Claire’s which added to the ambience. Of course, most of the audience were women but good to see a handful of men there, some even in kilts! Saw some Aussie Peakers in their MPC tees too. Cool. 

To settle a pronunciation question, Sophie asked the audience after lunch, ‘Is it scone (as in, phone) or scone (as in, shone)? 

An emphatic SCONE (shone) came back. Rik said “Oh, wow, a shouting(?) majority?’ 

Just to be sure, someone asked who lost, Rik pointed at Sophie. He didn’t gloat too much. Poor Sophie!

Of course, what would an OL event be without the cast having a drink or two to lubricate the tonsils (as we say).

Here are a few more tidbits. All the info I’m sharing has been gleaned from the panels and time spent with Rik and Sophie over the weekend as my tier allowed (which was a lot). ~ Yes, they had tried Vegemite (similar to marmite/promite), courtesy of David Berry. Sophie has some in Scotland. Onya Davo! (good on you David). Incidentally, Sam tried some when he was here in 2016 on Studio 10 (morning talk show - March 2016, his interview is on You Tube). It’s a thing. ~ Rik didn’t know if Sam’s whisky would be his cup of tea, but said it was ‘good actually’. ~ Rik was sometimes surprised by the particular take post production used for the show, but was more surprised by what was edited out of a scene (to add dynamics or guide the narrative a certain way which would apply to all productions everywhere). ~ The pyre scene with the Jesuit Priest at the Mohawk Village Ep 412 was hard to watch on TV. He said it was hard to watch them shoot that scene on set as it was so dangerous!😬 ~ Sophie very occasionally discussed the historical accuracy of things in a scene with directors ie. birthing stool or not in Ep 413 and 1960′s The Mashed Potato moves in S5 are different to how we know them now. She convinced the director’s on those 2 occasions. To me, it shows her passion for the show! ~ When asked about Bree meeting Jamie for the first time in S4, Sophie was asked about the eww factor but didn’t think about Jamie’s hand touching her face after he had relieved himself as he had only used a fruit juice bottle.🤣 ~ R & S were asked to respond to: ‘Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!’ And with relish they replied: ‘Oi, Oi, Oi!’. Someone did their homework. Cool. It’s a parochial call and response thing some aussies do at sporting events etc. ~ R & S often went for an early morning run. Before Sunday’s program began, Meagan asked us all to be very quiet. ‘That sound’, she said, ‘is Rik having his hair blown dry backstage.’ Laughter at Rik’s expense all round. Sophie came on with her’s still damp.

Graham McTavish ‘popped’ in from Slovakia to say hi and sorry I can’t be there. Rik and Graham had a good rapport. After some banter, the audience was now supposed to ask a question and GM rolled his eyes as he heard Rik’s voice again, this time asking him what he conditioned his beard with? ‘Well”, said GM, ‘well Richard, um, I, ahh (chuckle), I condition it with...., obviously a little bit of your love ..’. Much laughter in the theatre.

Then GM commented further, (which I missed, sadly), to even more laughter.

Who knows what would have happened had GM been at the event in person?! There is so much more I could share, but you get the idea. 

Sophie wasn’t feeling the best during the last panel just before the close of the event, but she pushed through like a trooper. Rik said she had eaten too much chocolate. A weakness of Sophie’s. I think fatigue was catching up with both of them. They did so much.

Meagan presented Rik and Sophie with an Akubra (pron. uh·koo·bruh) each (iconic Australian outback hat) as a memento of their time here at Ozlander. Rik had the Crocodile Dundee style whilst Sophie’s was more demure. In his best aussie lingo, Rik said: ‘I’m Richard Dundee and this is my partner, Skippy (Sophie).’ (Referencing Skippy the bush kangaroo ? - a much loved Australian TV show 1968-1970). 

The Scottish Banner article promised an intimate relaxed chance to get to know stars from the Outlander TV series and I’m happy to say that this is exactly what we got. Whilst it’s a shame we didn’t get to know Ed, Graham or David better, we certainly got to know Rik and Sophie better than we had ever anticipated. As a result, I see Rik and Sophie in a new light, esp in S5, where they have more scenes together. In a small way, I’ve gotten to know a little of the person that inevitably informs their TV persona (ie facial expressions, mannerisms, speaking cadence and inflections). What a memorable time I had (can you tell?). Thanks to Rik and Sophie, the gathering organisers (who got a special mention on stage at the close) and the other fans I met there. Thanks for reading this far on a rather lengthy post.😊 I know it’s my take on the weekend, but I’ve tried not to editorialise it, but present it, as accurately as I can, hence, it may be a bit dry to read.😅  I think Ozlander is a great name and I look forward to Ozlander Fan Gathering 2021.  

Ozlander graphics: Ozlander Fan Gathering (I tweaked the circle logo in the title)

Ozlander Fan Gathering 2020 selfie: Ozlander Fan Gathering

other photos: all permissions obtained    

Ozlander Fan Gathering article: The Scottish Banner February 2020

Sophie Skelton post: Instagram

global covid-19 cases stats: Wikipedia

[the-dyslexic-blogger]

Broken trust

Hello again welcome back to Dino’s blogs can I just say thank you all of you for supporting my blogs I appreciate it I try to lighten up the moment including the most dark moments I try to lighten up the moment. So the fun part trigger warnings there is suicide attempts, Self-harm and a MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING for sexual assault  I will warn you again before the mentions I just don't want anyone to get triggered I AM NOT HOLDING BACK on details as I'm tired of keeping this a secret.

Here we go this blog is probably the hardest one I've written to be honest it's taken a lot of courage it's a big thing to say 'I am a victim of sexual assault on several occasions', but here we go: 

 So I don't trust many people I didn't know how to for a while. I didn't know what love was until recently I didn't know what it was to be cared for until university. So why don't I trust people you ask… oh, you hear that *Choo Choo* oh look it's the trauma train gotta love the trauma train chugging throughout my head.

So yeah I have been sexually assaulted on four occasions by two guys one was at school and the first year at college and the second was two times in the first year on the university.

So this isn’t sexual assault or rape but in this there’s mentions of rape and bullying.

But I also had an encounter with this guy online who pretended to be a girl who was 14 and from my school and followed me on Instagram it was normal until I was revising looked at my phone and they had commented ‘I’m going to rape you and your family’ and ‘I will burn your house down with you in it’ so there you goooo *distant choo choo*. So I mentioned it to my classmates they mentioned it to my childcare teacher we will call her Brown she reported it to the police they came in and talked to me Brown said she’d come with me so she did she was lovely I miss her. I showed them the screenshots that I took before he deleted his account and his comments they said they will keep me updated later on that month they were coming in again as he’d been targeting other students this time Brown couldn’t make it so the school nurse came with me she’d been helping me a lot with my problems and we spoke again about it they tracked him back to India but they never pressed any charges they had to wait for Instagram to get back to press charges but they never did (FUNNNNN YAYYYY more trauma) so yeee that’s the time I was threatened.

Just another warning going to be talking more about sexual assault and rape here.

School as you know already was hard, but it wasn't until GCSEs in year 11 like a week before I sat my first  exam I had a friend at the time we will call him ‘Oliver’ he was my friend since year nine he waited until I was at the age of consent so 16 here (He was 17, so it's not like he was 40, but he was held back a year). So he invited me around his house to game and revise, so I took him up on it, of course, he was my friend at the time the day came around I was excited to be able to go to his and chill for a bit instead of being at home.

I got on the bus I was wearing jeans and a hoodie and of course a shirt (I told you this detail to show you clothing is NOTHING to do with what a rapist wants.) But yeah listened to music. He met me at the bus stop, and we went back to his (WE WAS NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP). I had been there for a few hours, and he closed the door and locked it he looked at me weirdly as he grabbed the remote out my hand I laughed "what you doing" he said nothing and just started kissing me I pulled away, but he just picked me up and put me on his bed he kept kissing me I told him to stop (his parents had gone out by the way).

He continued to until he forced my jeans off and took his pants and stuff off and continued to rape me I laid there I gave up trying to fight this off I stared at the ceiling trying to focus on other things besides what was happening. I remember watching a spider crawling around the ceiling wishing I was the spider (preferably being squished) and not the person being raped.

After he was done with me, he got up smiled at me and said 'I love you' I didn't respond. I had no emotion I felt numb in fact.

He looked at me and said 'If you ever tell anyone I will make your life hell' after this he opened his door and let me out I left the house shaking and got around the corner where he couldn't see me looked around no one was there I sat on the floor and cried and had a massive panic attack. I got the bus and went home.

Trigger warning for suicide attempts and self-harm

I sat on my bed with my plate of hot food steaming away, of course, I didn't eat it. I stared at it, thinking about the events of the day. I threw the food away said good night to my family came back in my room. I sat on the bed and cried I took a blade out and cut my wrists pretty badly I found some tablets and took an overdose as well as kept cutting to make the cuts deeper and worse in hope I’d bleed out and die a lot of the cuts scarred, and I can still see today. I fell asleep on the bed holding the blade, and I woke up and cried at the fact that I didn't die in my sleep. Looking back now I’m glad I didn’t die in my sleep cuz this way I got to feel love and trust and be cared for and all that.

The next day I acted like nothing happened went into school. No one noticed anything was wrong. I didn't ever tell anyone about this until I met people I trusted in university. After this incident, I stopped talking to him. He still continued to follow me around the school then I started spending time down learning support where teachers used to be.

So there school was said and done in a few months I didn't see this shithead for a few months (yes a few months... fun)

So I did exams, and that was fun then the joy of the first year of college happened. Oliver was also in the college I was in and I didn't know until I spotted him and unfortunately, he spotted me after that he decided he wanted to follow me around the college so when I could I’d stay in the classroom or the bathroom.

So another fun joyful trigger warning here…

It was the morning I was walking to college, and I didn't realise he’d spotted me while he was on the bus it drove past me, and he got off in town, and by this point, he had realised I wasn't interested but guess what that didn't stop him...yay (to be honest I don't think anything will stop a rapist who knows exactly what they are doing. They don't give a shit about you will fuck anything that moves...sorry).

He proceeded to follow me, so I tried to lose him it didn't work he caught up when I thought I’d lost him I was in the woods (hey I thought I’d lose him in the woods it was stupid I know) he pushed me to the ground and raped me again this time I focused on the birds they trigger me even today I tried to fight it off, but every time I tried to do something he would say 'shhh' or smack me around the face, so I gave up and again focused on something else like the sound of the birds.

After he was done he kissed me and said exactly the same thing he had said the first time about hurting me if I told anyone so I didn’t I was scared shitless. I went into college again felt numb I went to the bathroom and had a backup blade on me in case urges got back and I cut myself again wasn’t an attempt to kill myself yet (that fun will come later) I went into my lesson didn’t concentrate much I had tutoring maths she noticed something was wrong I just told her I was tired (indeed tired of living…and the trauma over my shoulder) I got through the day and stayed in the classroom until like 5pm I finished at 3pm but I was scared shitless. I walked home in constant fear of being raped again I got home sat on my bed and cried a lot tried to kill myself again this time was overdose then went to a multi-storey where I was gonna jump but people on a server I was on on discord talked me out of it I went home got shouted at for going out fun.

So those nightmares and traumas and flashbacks never stopped I still have them now thankfully I moved college after this met some good people but I never knew how to trust people with stuff as the one person I trusted in school raped me it’s like when he raped me the rest of the happiness that was left over from me was sucked out of me and I was left a shadow of myself a shadow of darkness and depression and suicidal thoughts and cutting my pain away.

So in 3rd year of college there was this stalker I spoke about in the anxiety blog but what I didn’t mention is the time he tried to sexually assault me he pulled me into a driveway and started trying to rape me and brushed his hand on my crotch I walked away and went into a supermarket and hid for a while when I got courage I went home. Thankfully he didn’t go too far as I didn’t give him chance to.

So yeah college I got semi better and started to gain trust of a small handful of people when I came to university I realised people can be good so I started to trust people again and realise what friendship really was. I began coming out of my shell a bit more talking to people I managed to make friends not many but I was happy with what I had.

I trusted people for once in my life since the first rape but this wasn’t for long *choo choo* yes you’re right trauma time yay. So I met this guy ‘Aiden’ he was weird at the start. He kept pressuring to come over to mine I gave in my flatmate said she’d stay with me with her mate but she left me after a while with her mate I begged her not to leave but she did left me with him the monster who took my trust again. (We also now refer to that “friend” as Rebitcha instead of Rebecca).

I was in the common room of accommodation we was sitting on the sofa chatting and I went to the bathroom it was a disabled one both doors locked and I forgot to lock the other one. I locked one but I went to the bathroom and washed my hands (cuz I’m not a detty pig sex ed reference) and unlocked the door to see him stood there waiting for me he then said he had feelings for me I said I don’t feel the same about you sorry. He said ‘I don’t care’ grabbed me by the chest on my jumper pushed me against the wall and kissed me I told him to stop please. He continued to rip my trousers off and rape me in the bathroom I had nothing to focus on this time so I closed my eyes and wished it would end wished Rebitcha never left me here with the monster who had no remorse he had no feeling afterwards he got up dragged me off the ground said get changed threw me back into the other part of the bathroom and closed the door and he then left the common room I came out crying and shaking. I saw he had gone (the fact that he got an uber to get here means this rapist took effort to get to me cuz he knew I was weak and not that strong physically so couldn’t fight him off).

A lot of the details here are missing and fuzzy because my protector alter Cody took over and we sort of shared this carriage of the trauma train so neither of us really remembers all of exactly what happened.

After this came the creepy messages on snapchat where he’d say things like “maths then fuck” he would try so so hard to get me out of the classroom alone so he could do it again. He was addicted to being a dickhead. He wouldn’t stop then in winter once I was walking home from uni I spotted him and got faster back then I didn’t  have anyone to walk with back in winter in the uk it gets dark at like 4pm so my lesson finished at 5 he was there and decided ‘Hey here have another fuck ton of trauma’ *choo choooooo* and he basically did the same but outdoors near the university in a hidden area so no one could see he had his hand over my  mouth so my screams were just muffled moans and you know he’s a fucked up creep cuz he enjoyed it in fact that probably made him horny I dislike this guy.

At this point I was tired of the trauma of keeping it all inside I told my friend he was there for me I was terrified to talk about it as he wasn’t in my university we both thought it would be a good idea to tell this person we will call her Alex the Snake (you’ll see why later) so we did she was “supportive” but was pushy for me to go to the police she’d constantly bother my mates and me and come over just so she can force me to go my flatmate knew it all it was Rebitcha again who had abandoned me in the common room with him. One night I remember this a lot they came over to force me to tell the police I was suicidal that night and they all left me and went to sit in Rebitcha’s room while I was alone YOU KNOW WHAT THEY FUCKING DID they stabbed me in the back saying how I probably made it up and shit meanwhile I was in my room talking to my friend on a call he was trying to talk me out of suicide we was on call when I fell asleep as I was a danger to myself I put their bags and shit outside the door and locked it I was done with them. I fell asleep and woke up it was 2am and they had just gone you know where they went yeah the fucking police station AFTER I HAD SAID I DON’T WANT TO GO they went on their own. I messaged the group chat and asked they LIED AGAIN and said they’d gone to McDonalds.

After this night I didn’t trust anyone really I didn’t know how to trust them anymore they had broken my trust so much it was like a mirror had been smashed on the floor and the bits all over the floor.

This snake continued to go behind my back with my flatmate go out together all just to bitch about me the snake only wanted to get gossip about me from my flatmate and she did was a bitch about me I went to these people who helped I had some help from them. The university did fuck all only one of my flatmates was supportive she’s my best mate now she’s been there I never really talked to her about this I am still very very traumatised by this and still don’t trust people very well.

The snake stopped me going to the thing I enjoyed the most the thing that took my mind off of the rape I stopped going to musical theatre in fear she’d come up to me and talk about it even though I’d asked her thousands of times not to bring it up I will never EVER forgive her for what she did in a way she fucked me up almost as much as the rapist did. It sucks being raped I can’t explain how it feels you feel like it is your fault the guilt consumes you so much it’s like a vulture waiting for the animal to die but stalking it until it dies the trauma being the vulture. The Snake continued to torment me with trauma asking about it all the time like how it happened she didn’t believe me.

You the reader here can believe me when I say all of this or don’t. Simple. It happened and I’m the only person who knows 100% it happened because I was on the receiving end of the sexual assault other people were not. But I don’t care what others say I know what happened I was the one person there like I just said the trauma train spent a lot of time at the sexual assault stop. But being sexually assaulted makes me who I am today I wish it didn’t happen because I still am severely traumatised and have nightmares but I’m getting there slowly I find talking really helps me this helps it’s been so hard to write for me taken 2 times longer than another blog but it’s a very hard thing to talk about.

But being sexually assaulted isn’t that rare sadly it happens to a lot of people.

Whatever race sex sexuality whether you’re wearing a space suit or just a swimsuit you can be a victim of sexual assault please please don't keep it to yourself please talk to someone because this is such a stigma. Yes sexual assault is still a stigma you know fuck it men can BE RAPED TOO it’s not just woman okay men speak out its okay to not be okay you can cry. You know boys DO cry. Even with women its hard speak up you feel like no one will believe you feel like a failure because it happened to you but it isn’t your fault nothing is your fault you can’t help that some people can’t keep their dick in their pants or their tits in their shirt. SO DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF if you are a victim of rape or abuser physical, mental, sexual, financial and medical abuse (Gypsy rose who.)

None of it is your fault it’s the abuser they need serious help if you abuse someone and abuse them in any way do me a favour fuck off unfriend me and block me please. I don’t want abusers in my life. But if you’re a victim I have put some helplines alongside my email please email me if you need me it WILL stay between us unless I think you’re going to kill yourself because I care about you please don’t kill yourself I care and don’t want anyone dead except maybe rapists hmm... *sharpens knife*

Being raped really messes with your mental health and the way you feel like you can’t turn to anyone being abused is like you’re thrown to the beast and it tears you apart into pieces and enjoys every moment then it moves on to its next victim in the distance *choo choo* The trauma train following closely behind.

I have put some links below that might help you I have also put my email below please don’t hesitate to message me anytime you need to talk I’ll keep it private and between us and us only anyways I’ve said that #ADHD. But I’m recovering still from this trauma one day I will get through it I now know how to trust people again.

And you will too.

Stay strong my blogger beans.

Love Dino the Dyslexic Blogger xx

 My email: dinothedyslexicblogger@gmail.com

 This morning-https://www.itv.com/thismorning/articles/rape-helplines

 Rape crisis-https://rapecrisis.org.uk/

 Mind-https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/abuse/sexual-abuse/

 Nhs-https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/help-after-rape-and-sexual-assault/

 Supportline-https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/rape-and-sexual-assault/

 Metroplitaion police they have some helpful rescources-https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/rsa/rape-and-sexual-assault/support-for-victims-of-rape-and-sexual-assault/

[writingjusttowrite8]

Warmth

Hi friends! So, I wrote a little thing about Tom Hiddleston. I recently saw Thor: Ragnarok and that awoke the inter Hiddles-trash that I truly am. I like to keep my intensive fandom love away from my normal blog, so that’s why I’m posting it on this account instead.

This story just kinda came to mind and I couldn’t get it out of my head until I wrote it down, so enjoy! Any feedback is appreciated. 

You can also read this on AO3.

       The mechanical sound of the wheel’s being lowered alerted everyone on the plane that we were landing soon. I flipped over the newspaper I was reading, finishing the last paragraph on an article about space travel. 

“Did you know that none of the crew from Apollo 11 had life insurance before going to space? They took pictures and singed them for their family incase something were to go wrong. If they sold the pictures they’d probably get more money than life insurance any ways.” I shrugged, talking to no one in particular. 

My stylist, Elaina, looked at me quizzically; “Everyone knows you have a bachelors degree, you don’t need to constantly throw out random bits of information to remind everyone.”

           “I read an article!” I defended, throwing the paper at her. She picked it up from where it landed on her lap and set it on the side table. Elaina leaned closer to me and took a minute to see if anyone was listening. The plane cabin was private, so it was only my team and I on board. We were flying into Los Angles for a party later tonight; it was under the guise of honoring someone, but it was just a chance for the studios to show off all their people and get more attention. 

“You know, you don’t have to go tonight if you don’t want to. Everyone would understand if you just wanted to stay home.” Elaina’s look was empathetic. 

I laughed a little, “We flew all this way to go to the party; it wouldn’t make sense if I did go for at least a little while!”

           “Plus,” I added, “I’m not seven years old anymore. People say mean things about me; that’s the nature of this business. I can’t go crawling back into my shell every time someone isn’t as nice as they could be. I got a nice dress for tonight anyways.” I said, taking a sip of water from the glass beside me. 

“It wasn’t like someone yelled something nasty at you; a whole op-ed came out detailing how terrible of a person they think you are!”  She said. 

“It’s been nearly two months! The outpouring of support I got after it from my actual friends, made it easier. I got to move on.” I said.

           “You do know about the other thing, right? That You Know Who is going to be there?” Elaina said. 

I rolled my eyes, “His name is Tom, not Lord Voldemort; you shouldn’t be afraid to say it.” I looked down at my phone, quickly scanning through emails, trying not to let Elaina see my face. 

“It just pisses me off! In your time of need, he just abandons you! I mean, I know you weren’t dating or anything, but the two of you were so close! For a while it felt like you two were inseparable! And then he just goes off when things got too rough. Despicable.” She nearly spat. 

“You can’t blame him for not wanting to be involved with drama right now. He’s dealt with too much of it; the guy deserves a break.” And…That wasn’t even the reason he left I wanted to say, but Elaina’s hatred of Tom was already solidified, so there was really no point in making it worse. Elaina didn’t respond; she just looked at me with complete pity.

-

Three Days Before the Article is Released

             “You clean up nicely” I commented to Tom as he walked over to me. 

“I could say the same for you, but then again, you always look that good.” Cheeky little flirt he his. I smiled and turned my face, trying not to let him see the blush that crept up to my cheeks. 

“Have you seen the birthday boy yet?” I ask, changing the subject. 

Tom shakes his head; “No I got sucked into a conversation with Ken Branagh about his next project.” 

“Shakespeare, I assume?” I asked looking up at him. He just winked and ordered a whiskey from the bartender.  

           The club we were in was pretty packed, mostly with Hollywood elites and their teams. Everyone was there to celebrate Robert Downey Jr.’s birthday, however, the guest of honor had yet to arrive. That didn’t keep the merriment from stopping. Tom and I were seated at the bar towards the back, where there was a little more room to breath. I sipped on a vodka martini and Tom drank almost all of his whiskey in one gulp. 

“Long day?” I questioned him. 

“What’s wrong with loosing up a bit?” He retorted, faking offense. 

“I’ve never actually seen you sloppy drunk; I’d imagine it would be very entertaining.” I laughed gently at the idea of Tom being beside himself drunk; He’s so proper and put together that it didn’t really make sense. 

“I’ve seen you sloppy drunk on quite a few occasions.” He grinned. I rolled my eyes at him. 

“Twice! Only twice have you seen me drunk enough to even come close to being sloppy! Considering how long we’ve known each other, that’s pretty impressive.” I said.

           “Six months, and you’ve only been sloppy drunk three times, that I know about. If that’s impressive, then at what point in your life were you more of a party animal?” He questioned. 

“You didn’t know me in college.” I winked at him. He laughed at me, and I couldn’t help but stare at his face. The way he looked in the low lighting of the bar somehow made him even more attractive than regular. Or maybe it was how close he was sitting to me, so much so that our knees were practically stuck together and his arm was behind me resting on the bar. I tried not to show how excited our close proximity made me, but my eyes lingered on his a little too long. I snapped out of my daze just in time to see RDJ walking over towards us.

           “Look! It’s the second most beautiful person in the world… and Tom.” Robert said to us. I laughed and stood up to hug him. 

“Happy Birthday to the most beautiful person in the world!” I said wrapping my arms around him. 

“Thanks sweet cheeks. Thomas!” He said, moving to embrace Tom. “This old dude giving ya trouble over here?” Robert asked me. 

“A little,” I said while retaking my seat, “he says he’s seen me drunk more times than I’ve allowed him to see me drunk.”

           “Oh, you’re hilarious.” Tom said sarcastically. 

“Well tonight seems as good as any to even up the score, so why don’t we all take a few shots to get the night going, huh?” Robert said excitedly. I grimaced, giving Tom a warning glance. 

“I think that’s a fantastic idea, Robert. Bartender, six shots please!” Tom ordered. All I could do was laugh at the two ridiculous men I’d chosen to spend my night with.

             Nearly four hours later, many drinks, and far too many embarrassing moments on the dance floor, Tom and I got into a cab to head home.  He lived just around the corner from me, so we split a cab most times we went out; unless he drove me in his jaguar.

      “I didn’t!” I declared too loudly, making the driver look back at me in the rearview mirror. “Why would I request a song I hate?” I asked Tom, who was laughing at me. 

“Because you know I hate it too! It was retaliation for that third shot!” He said. 

I groaned and slapped his arm; “I’m not that petty. How do I know you didn’t request it, just because you knew I hate it, huh?” 

“Because darling,” He leaned in so close that the tuft of my bangs were almost brushing his face, “I’m chivalrous. I would never intentionally make a lady that uncomfortable.” Thank God for the drinks, or else I wouldn’t have an excuse as to why my face was so red. 

“How come I don’t believe you Hiddleston?” I said, keeping my eyes starting straight in his, so they wouldn’t linger down to his (very kissable) lips.

      The driver cleared his throat; “We’re here.” I immediately pulled back, laughing a little, and looking through my purse for a tip. Tom was quicker and handed him some cash before opening the door for us. He held out his hand for me to hold onto as I descended from the car, and I let my fingers hold onto his longer than necessary before pulling away. 

“Nightcap?” I asked. “[Y/N], we just got back from a bar!” He said. I looked away and gently laughed, trying to hide my embarrassment of rejection. I couldn’t help it that I didn’t want the night to end. 

“I’d love to.” Tom said, surprising me. I gently hit his chest with my clutch before heading up to the front door.

      I wasn’t entirely drunk, but I wasn’t entirely sober. The drinks came early enough in the night for both Tom and I to be coming down from our buzz. I fumbled around in my clutch for my keys while Tom leaned against my doorframe, looking god-like. 

“Having trouble?” He mocked. Almost immediately after he said that, I finally managed to pull out my keys and give Tom a smirk. He rolled his eyes at me while following me inside. He walked into the kitchen with me and sat at the bar while I looked in my cabinets for two glasses.

      “Your place is so cozy. I like it here.” He said, looking around. He’s been inside my place many times before, but says the same thing each time he’s here. 

“If you spent more time in your house, I bet it would feel cozier. You’re gone too much, Tom.” I said, trying not to let my voice get too sad. He was always working. A few days in L.A. or New York, meeting with studios, different read through; Tom was usually only in London a few hours at a time. I was lucky enough that when he was in town, he spent most of that time with me.

         “No, that’s not it. I think it’s a woman’s touch. Even when we’re together in different cities, your hotel rom seems… warmer.” He said. I passed him a glass of rum and coke and made one for me as well. 

“Have you ever considered that it’s me that’s warmer, and not the actual place we’re in?” I asked facetiously, before taking a drink. 

“I have.” He said, smiling at me before he took a drink. I smiled back at him, but then looked down an furrowed my eyebrows, trying to cover how much that made my heart jump. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, genuine concern in his voice.

       I looked up replacing my look of distain with neutrality. “Nothing… it’s just too quiet. Want to put on a movie?” I asked, but before he could respond, I started towards the living room. I heard him quickly get up after me. I couldn’t face him just yet; I’d let my guard down for a second too long and he saw. I walked into the living room, Tom following me closely. I went over to the small side table where I usually keep the remote, but it wasn’t there. I turn around to look for it, but I almost slam face first into Tom. He was standing right behind me, so close that I had to put my hands to his chest to steady myself from bumping into him.

        “Tom… are you… is everything alright? “ I ask, so quietly that I barely hear myself. His hand reaches up to trace my jaw and brushes some hair behind my shoulder. My heart was pounding too hard in my chest, but my breathing was getting slower. 

“Of course you’re the reason I like your place better than mine.” He whispers. Our faces are getting closer to one another, and with his free hand he grabs mine and laces our fingers together. Instinctively, my other hand slowly starts to move up towards his face until it rests on his neck. Our breathing is heavy for a moment before he finally breaks the tension and gently places his lips on mine.

        I melt into the kiss, moving my mouth along with his and throwing my arms around his neck. I bring him as close as I possibly can, pressing my chest against his, and his arm wraps around my waist and hoist me on the side table. He stands between my legs and I open the to wrap them around his waist and pull him closer. Our lips are moving in sync and our hands are wandering all over; I feel him brush through my hair to put his hand on my neck and another to grip my thigh. I run my hands down his broad shoulder and down to his hips. We finally break away for a moment to get some much-needed oxygen and rest our foreheads against each other. We don’t say anything; just look into each other’s eyes before we start kissing again. This time, it isn’t gentle but forceful, like all pretenses have gone away.

         Suddenly, I don’t feel his lips on my anymore. I look up and see him standing about a foot away from me. He’s holding onto my hand still but the mood is completely different. His eyes are filled with something I can’t quite place… sadness or pity, or a combination of both. My breathing is heavy as I look at him impossibly confused and missing the feel of his body on mine. He parts his lips as to say something, but nothing comes out.

        After a moment too long of standing there, he finally speaks; “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” He says. I almost physically hear my heart crack. Before I could speak he says the words that finally break the spell we’ve been living under tonight. “I should go.”

         Before I could get a word in edgewise, he was gone. All of a sudden, I was just a girl, sitting on her side table, breathing heavily and with a shattered heart. What on earth just happened?

-

         By the time our plane touched down in L.A., it was almost 2 p.m. and we were already behind schedule. Paparazzi greeted us at the gate and my team did their best to shield me from their cameras, but nothing really stops them from getting the shots they want. We got to my small apartment that I keep in L.A. and immediately it became ''beautification central'. I stepped out of my shower to find that Emma Watson had texted me. 'Heard you were in L.A., mind if I stop by to see you? I miss your face. Xo' she wrote. I smiled and dialed her number.

        "[Y/N]!" She exclaimed, "Are you in town?" Emma asked. 

"Yes ma'am. Are you going to stop by to see me?" I ask. 

"I'm getting in my car as we speak." She said. Hearing her voice made me happy; she was one of the few friends that I felt genuinely cared for me. Through the whole process of staring in my first big role, to the flops I'd been in, Emma was with me no matter what. She didn't want to be near me for the attention or the money, we just like each other. Having a real friendship in this industry was rare, and I wanted to protect ours at all cost. "I'll see you soon!" I said. We exchanged goodbye's and hung up before I let my team make me into a version of myself that I didn't even recognize.

        30 minutes later I hear a knock on my door and open it to find Emma. Without saying a word, we hug each other tightly. "I missed you, Em." I said quietly. 

"I missed you too... how are you?" She questioned, pulling away from the hug. 

I shrugged, "I'm fine. I mean, I've been better, but that's life I guess." She gave me a small smile and followed me inside. My team was in my living room getting my dress out and pressing it while Elaina was setting up in the bathroom. I pulled Emma into my bedroom so we could have some privacy.

       "So what's really going on?" She asked. Emma knew that the article wasn't the real source of my sadness. 

I gave her a disparaging look; "Tom..." I said. She chuckled solemnly. 

"That much I know. What happened between you two. When I spoke to him the other day, it got super weird when he asked about you. Like he was nervous about something." She said. I looked down in my lap, unsure of whether or not I should tell Emma. Somehow, letting someone outside of Tom and myself know what really went on made it more real, and somehow, more hurtful.

        "What did he ask you?" I questioned. 

"He wanted to know how you were doing. I told him that you've been busy so I hadn't really heard from you. The way he asked though... it's almost as if he was afraid to say your name." She looked at me, waiting to explain what happened. 

"We kissed. It was a few days before the article broke. He kissed me and then he said 'I shouldn't have done that' and left." I sighed and looked away, letting Emma absorb the information.

         "You know the worst part is," I started, "I was doing a perfectly fine job of repressing my feelings before that! I know that it's unhealthy or whatever, but it's not like we would've worked out romantically anyways. I knew that for the sake of our friendship that I needed to keep those feelings to myself. And then he kisses me! I didn't ask for that! There wasn’t a neon sign above my head saying 'Please Break My Heart'. I did what I had to do to keep our friendship, and he had to go and mess it up."

       I figured I'd already revealed too much, so I told Emma all about that night. She sat back on my bed letting all that information sink in. 

"That... doesn’t sound like Tom." She said in disbelief. 

I shrugged, "It was him, though." Emma sighed and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. 

"Was that it? He just left without an explanation?" She asked. 

I looked back up at her, feeling a little bit of guilt; "Not exactly...".  

"What do you mean?" She asked.

       "A few nights after the article was released, Tom came to my house again." I confessed. 

"What did he say?" She questioned. I told her everything.

-

        It was a rainy night in London, not unusual. I had Adele's album on in the background while I was facetiming with my dad on my laptop and sitting at the bar in my kitchen. 

"[Y/N], if you want your mother and I to come see you, we will. No questions asked. We'll be on the next plane out of here if we need to be." My dad said. I let out a small laugh. 

"You're sweet, but please, don't worry. It's a mean article. The person who wrote it got mad that my manager kept pushing back the interview date and he let his displeasure show. The really funny thing is the reason the interview was being pushed back was because our production schedule was behind and he wanted to interview me about the production! Even if we'd kept the regular date, the article would have been inaccurate. One guy doesn't like me, I don't have to lose my mind over it." I told him. The last sentence hurt to say, because it wasn't the vengeful interviewer who hurt me, but someone much more important.

       "Well, I'm proud of you [Y/N]. You're good about not letting these things get to you. How is everything else? Your friends?" My dad asked, in typical dad fashion.

 "Everyone is fine, dad." I said. 

"What about Tom? I have heard anything about him in a while. The movie was great! Did you tell him I thought the movie was great?" Hearing my dad ask about Tom stung more than I anticipated; I had to shift my head so he couldn’t see my face. 

I swallowed harshly before answering; "I told Tom, he said thank you. He's doing fine. Dad, I'm going to go get something to eat. I'll call you and mom tomorrow." I said, trying to get out of the only subject I really wanted to avoid. 

"Of course, sweetie. Your mother and I love you very much." Dad said, a little more emotionally than usual. I told him I loved him too, and closed my laptop.

       I ran my fingers through my hair and rested my elbows on the counter. I just had an article come out that basically said I was a spineless, talentless, slut, and the only thing I'm really sad over is Tom. It felt wrong, like I should be pissed at the author and I should be discrediting him. Instead, I was by myself drinking wine and forcing myself to stop feeling sad about a guy. He's just a guy, I reminded myself, this isn't the first time a guy has left me, and probably not the last.

        I just wish I knew why. Did he not like me enough to follow through with it? Was I a bad kisser? Did he suddenly realize he loved someone else? Maybe if I knew exactly why he stopped, it would make this easier. Sure, I could call him and ask him why, but that made me feel like I was defeated. I heard my phone go off from the living room, but I didn't feel like going to get it. So many people had called me today, wanting to know how I was, but I couldn’t tell any of them the truth; ignoring calls was really the best plan for me at this point. I took another sip from my wine glass and tried to resist the temptation of going online to look at comments. Online comments on articles like this can be a rabbit hole, and not one I was prepared to go down. A loud knock on my door made me jump in surprise. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself while I walked over to it. When I opened my door, I found Tom.

        His shirt clung to his torso, wet from the rain, and the expression on his face made it seem like he was surprised to see me. 

It took me a minute to adjust from the shock before I could speak to him; "What... why are you here?" I asked. Suddenly I realized he was still getting wet from the rain and I moved back to let him in my house. He came in, slowly, and ran his hands through his hair to get some of the rain droplets out. "Why are you here?" I repeated after we were inside. His expression of surprise changed to one of sadness. 

"I wanted to know if you were alright." He spoke. I looked down at the floor trying to avoid his eyes. 

"I'm fine." I said quietly. I started walking towards the kitchen and Tom followed me.

       "It's just... the article came out at a... bad time. I just wanted to make sure-" I cut him off. 

"Really Tom, I don't care about the article. Mean things are written about people all the time. I'm not the first, nor the last. And as for the timing... well, there really isn't much I could've done about that." I said, bitterness coloring my voice. Now, Tom is looking down at the floor, and all the emotions that I've been holding back are combining into one; anger. 

"I wanted to apologize for that night." He said, looking back up at me. I scoffed, "Which part? When you kissed me, or when you left without an explanation?" I didn't want to be mean, but I couldn’t help myself.

        "Both," Tom started, "I was wrong to do... that to you." I furrowed my eyebrows. 

"Then why? It's not like we were super drunk, it's not like I forced you into it, and it's not like I pulled away!" The anger was slipping through my voice. 

"[Y/N], I don't know why I kissed you, but I know I didn't want to hurt you!" He said, matching my louder voice. 

"Well you sure have a funny way of showing it! I mean... even if you don't know why you kissed me, why did you pull away? How would that keep you from hurting me?" I yelled, exasperatedly.

       "Because I need to protect you! The women who date me get slaughtered in the press. My past relationships will probably follow me around for the rest of my life because the press will not let it go. I don't want to put you through that. You deserve better than being dragged through the mud just because I've made mistakes." He said. Now, I was really furious. 

"You want to protect me? I don't know if you've been living under a rock for the past 48 hours, but I was put through the ringer, despite not dating anyone! So, your noble quest of protecting me was shot long before you had anything to do with it." My hands were in fist at my side; my eye's brimming with tears, but luckily, none spilled over. For a while, neither of us spoke. I didn't know if it was because he had said everything he had to say, or if he didn't know what to say next. The tension became too much for me and I had to speak.

       "I will understand if you don't like me like that and you believe kissing was a mistake, but please Tom, don't lie to me. If you wanted to protect me, you wouldn't have waited this long." I couldn't be angry at him anymore; I just felt sad. He looked at me with those blue eyes that could make anyone week in the knees and I felt my heart being squeezed, causing so much pain that I had to look away. He didn't say anything, which just made me feel worse. He has no right to stand there, looking as good as he does, being so sweet and comforting, and yet keeping me waiting. I wanted him so much, but I couldn't handle it anymore.

        "You should go...." I said, the words surprising even me. 

He raised his eyebrows in surprise; "what?" He questioned. 

"You've clearly said everything you needed to, and I can't handle this much longer." I finally looked back up to face him. "If you really don't want to hurt me anymore than you already have, please just... leave." My voice broke and the tears I held off for so long started to fall. Tom lifted his had up, as if to touch me the same way he had that night. I turned my head away, just slightly and he put his hand down. Taking the hint that I wasn't budging tonight, he finally left.

-

       I didn't feel bad about what I said to him that night, I just felt bad that I got so angry. He wanted to apologize, and no matter how hurt I was, he didn't deserve that anger. But in my heart, I know I did the right thing. I need to protect myself since I can't influence those around me. I can't rely on anyone, not even Tom, to protect me.

       Emma started at me blankly. "He really hurt you, didn't he?" Emma asked. 

I nodded; "This really is for the best, though. At least it didn't go too far, ya know? Ending this before it got to be too much is better for everyone." I said, partially trying to convince myself of that, too. 

"Are you sure? Is that really for the best?" She asked. 

I looked at her confused, "what do you mean?"

       "[Y/N], you like him, and he clearly likes you if he doesn't want to hurt you! Why would you need to end something that hasn't even begun? You're not giving yourself a fair shot. If you just give up now, before you even try to really make it work, you'll regret it." She said. I stood up and started pacing around my room. 

"Em, it's not like he came over to tell me he was sorry he stopped! He told me he was sorry for kissing me in the first place! He doesn't want me like that, I can accept that." I said, crossing my arms. 

"You didn’t tell him why it hurt you! You didn't tell him that you love him and that you didn't want the kiss to stop! You let him go! He isn't going to try to pursue you further if he thinks you're angry at him for kissing you to begin with! I guarantee you he wants you, but is worried that you don't want him. Because that sounds like Tom; he's not the type of man to leave like that, and he certainly isn't the type of man to push further if he thinks he's gone too far."

       Emma, was crazy, she had to be! He left me and then he came back to finish me off and couldn't do it! He's the wrong one here, right? I threw up my hands, fell onto my bead face first and groaned; a very mature way to react to this situation, I know. 

"Darling," Emma said, "you're beautiful, intelligent, hilarious, funny, and a whole other slew of things that I can't think of right now. But you are hopelessly dense when it comes to love. I still can't get over how you thought Henry Cavill was just 'being nice' when he sent over flowers after meeting you." She laughed, and played with my hair.

 I grumbled into the sheets "I mentioned I love flowers, and he sent flowers over the next day. It isn't so wrong to think he was just being... gentlemanly." I couldn't see her, but she probably rolled her eyes.

      I laughed to myself, thinking of the reaction Tom had to finding out Henry set me flowers; he got so worked up and wouldn't stop teasing me for days! Maybe Emma was right. Maybe it wasn't entirely his fault that things ended so poorly. I told him to leave the night he came to me. I just had such a clear view in my mind as to why he would have left. There's no way he could want me like that; he's Tom Hiddleston! It wouldn't have made sense, him and I together. But I guess that doesn't necessarily mean he wouldn't want it either.

      "Talk to him tonight, [Y/N]. Explain why it hurt you and give him a chance to explain as well. Even if things don't end the way you want them too, it will make you feel better if you get it off your chest." I sighed and rolled over to look at her. I needed to talk to him; that much was clear. 

"But... what if it hurts worse after. What if he says the exact thing I'm most afraid of him saying?" I say, quietly. 

She gave me a sorrowful look, "What are you most afraid of?" Emma asked. I sat up and looked out the window and pulled my knees into my chest. 

"That he never loved me like that... and that he never will." I whisper it so quietly, I'm not sure if she heard me.

      "He won't." She stated. I turn to look at her, trying my best to keep a brave face. A light knock on my door alerted both Emma and I just how late it had gotten. By now, my hair was dry and in desperate need of styling, and Elaina would be chomping at the bit to start on my makeup. "I should go." Emma said, standing up. I stood up to hug her goodbye. "It'll be fine, [Y/N]. Trust me." She said before pulling away. Emma exited the room and my team pounced on me as soon as she was out the door.

-

           Stop fidgeting, stop fidgeting, stop fidgeting I repeated to myself. Engage in the conversation that’s happening right in front of you; at least try to seem interested! Three movie producers were chatting in front of me, all trying to one up each other in terms of how much money the profited from movies they had nothing to do with. There was really no way to focus on the dude-fest going on with Tom across the room from me. It felt like his eyes were on me at all times, but every time I found the courage to glance over at him, he was talking to someone else.

           I suddenly felt a hand on my lower back and I jumped at the sensation. “Robert!” I said, realizing whom it was. I threw my arms around him and he did the same. 

“Hey there sweet cheeks. How’ve you been?” He asked. 

“Fine,” I lied, “I’ve been busy… working and… other stuff.” I tried my best to sound casual, but RDJ must have seen through me. 

“That’s good. A couple people around here we’re worried about you for a little while there, so it’s good to see you back on your feet.” He said.

 “We’re you one of those people?” I asked coyly.  

           “Nah,” He started, shaking his head, “my attention is on myself at all times. If I haven’t talked to you in the past… 8 minutes, chances are I don’t even realize you exist.” I laughed at him. Despite his nonchalant demeanor, Robert was truly a softie at heart. 

“It is good to see you back, though.” He said, sweetly. I smiled at him, the first time I truly smiled out of happiness in a while. 

“That’s very kind of you to say.”

           “Where’s Tom? Last time I saw you guys, you were stuck together like a barnacle to a boat.” I gently laughed at his choice of words, letting my smile fade. 

“Tom’s here? I didn’t even know. I really haven’t seen much of him lately.” I lied. He didn’t seem to recognize my bluff, but he didn’t fully understand it either. 

“Well you should say hi to him at some point; I’m sure he’d love to see you.” He said. 

“Well, you know what I would love? A drink. Do you want anything?” I asked, turning to go to the bar. 

“I wouldn’t kick a glass of champagne out of bed. I’ll be over there.” He said. I nodded and went to retrieve the much needed alcohol.

           I picked up two glasses of champagne and headed back towards Robert, who was deeply engaged in conversation with someone I couldn’t quite see. I called out his name and realized who he was talking to; Tom. 

“Ah, [Y/N],” He said, taking one of the glasses, “You know, I think I changed my mind about the drink. Tom, why don’t you take this one, and I’m going to get some bourbon.” Before Tom had time to protest, RDJ had handed him the champagne and was gone. I looked at Tom with wide eyes and cursed myself for not being able to anticipate this. His gaze nearly made my knees shake as he looked at me from head to toe. 

“You look… incredible.” He said. I smiled and blinked a few times before taking him in myself. 

“You do too.” I breathed. No matter my feelings towards Tom, his ability to wear a suit to absolute perfection still amazed me. His eyes bore into mine, and I couldn’t look away. Someone who I didn’t recognize bumped into Tom, pushing him closer towards me. I put out my free hand to steady him from running into me and it landed on his chest. When he finally was stead again, he grabbed my hand and kept it against his chest.

           “We should go somewhere to talk.” He whispered to me. 

I nodded before responding; “we should.” He laced our fingers together and started pulling me through the crowd. His tall frame prevented me from seeing where we were going, until we got to a small hallway, and Tom opened the door to a private restroom. I walked inside and set my glass on the skink counter, putting as much space between Tom and myself as possible.  His back faced me as he locked the door and he hesitated while turning around. We looked at each other for a few moments before I broke the silence. 

“How have you been?” I asked.

           Tom blinked a few times and set his glass next to mine. “Not great….” He trailed off. I gave him an empathetic smile. 

“Tom, I-“ He cut me off.

“Wait, I wanted to- may I … the last time I tried to apologize, I made everything worse, and I don’t want to do that again. So, if I may, I want to tell you everything I need to before you respond. Is that alright with you?” He asked. 

“Of course.” I said, my mind racing a mile a minute. He took a deep breath before running a hand through his hair.

           “I’ve made many regrettable mistakes in my life; not the least of which being the night I left you. My desire to protect you stems from the fact that my past indiscretions would follow you around and I didn’t want to put you through that, especially knowing how much people love you. I know it’s hard to see, but the way people see you is… they adore you. I didn’t want to ruin that for you; I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did. The reason I pulled away that night is because I wouldn’t be able to stop myself if I’d gone further.

           “[Y/N], you’re like the sun; your warmth encapsulates everyone around you and I find it so addicting. There are times that I can’t believe I was blessed enough to have met you, let alone be a part of your life. There is not an ounce of my soul that doesn’t wish to be near you at all times. But I was willing to ignore that to, what I thought would, protect you. I see now how stupid that was, because the second night I came over, I saw the pain and it broke me. I thought I didn’t deserve to be with you because of how much I hurt you, and there is a part of me that still believes that.  But I couldn’t live with myself without explaining why I did what I did, in hopes that one day you’d understand that I didn’t leave out of lacking desire; I did it because I love you and I don’t want to hurt you.

           “Now, if you tell me that you wish to never see me again, I will leave; I will do everything in my power to respect your wishes. But if you believe that there is a part of you that love me as much as I do you, you would make me the most undeservedly happy man in the world. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to make you as happy as I possibly could, for as long as I possibly can. So please, [Y/N], tell me that you understand how much I love you.”

           I stood across from Tom in complete and utter shock. My mind was racing and my heart was beating so fast, I thought I might go into cardiac arrest. He… loves me? I was wrong, so unbelievably wrong about… everything. It wasn’t just me reading more into the quick glances and soft touches; we were on the same page and we didn’t even know it. And now we’re here, staring intensely at one another, holding onto the desire I was too afraid to express. He handed me his heart, and now it was my turn to hold onto it.

           After a few minutes, Tom looked down at his feet. He seemed to be hurt by my lack of words, but how could I possibly speak after all that. I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I had to say something before he went away and another opportunity was lost. 

“Tom,” I said, his head snapping up and eyes looking into mine with anticipation. 

“Please don’t ever leave me again.”

-

[xtruss]

Monuments to America’s Racist History Toppled Amid Mass Protests

Confederate monuments celebrating the United States' racist history are coming down in several states after being targeted by protesters over the past week.

— June 4, 2020 | DemocracyNow.Org

Monuments celebrating the nation’s racist history are coming down in several states after being targeted by protesters over the past week. On Wednesday, the city of Philadelphia removed a statue of the city’s former racist police chief and mayor, Frank Rizzo, just days after protesters attempted to topple it and light it on fire. Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney said, “The statue represented bigotry, hatred, and oppression for too many people, for too long.”

In Virginia, Governor Ralph Northam is expected to order the removal today of a statue of Confederate General Robert E. Lee from the state Capitol grounds in Richmond after it was vandalized during the protests.

In Birmingham, Alabama, protesters toppled a statue of Confederate officer Charles Linn and vandalized a monument known as the Confederate Sailors and Soldiers Monument. Following the action, Birmingham Mayor Randall Woodfin ordered the rest of the statue to be removed.

In Nashville, Tennessee, protesters toppled a statue of Edward Carmack, a racist politician and newspaper publisher who incited violence against Ida B. Wells for her reporting on lynchings.

Three Other Officers Involved in George Floyd’s Killing Charged and Arrested

Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison has filed charges against all four Minneapolis police officers involved in last week’s killing of George Floyd, which sparked ongoing nationwide protests. A charge of second-degree murder was added against officer Derek Chauvin, who was already facing a third-degree murder charge for kneeling on Floyd’s neck for eight minutes and 46 seconds while Floyd pleaded for his life. The other three officers present were charged with aiding and abetting the murder. Chauvin was arrested last week. The other three officers — Thomas Lane, Alexander Kueng and Tou Thao — are now in custody. Keith Ellison, Minnesota’s first African American attorney general, announced the charges on Wednesday afternoon.

Attorney General Keith Ellison: “Let me be honest here. I mean, our country has had — has underprosecuted these matters, in Minnesota and throughout the country. And so I think the trust is a result of historically not holding people who are public guardians accountable for their behavior in situations where we should have.”

A memorial service will be held today for George Floyd in Minneapolis. On Wednesday, his son Quincy Mason Floyd welcomed the charges against the officers.

Quincy Mason Floyd: “I am happy that all the officers have been arrested. My father should not have been killed like this. We deserve justice. That’s all I have to say.”

200+ New York Mayoral Staffers Demand “Radical Change,” Police Budget Cuts

Mayor Bill de Blasio holds a media availability at New York City Hall on Wednesday, June 3. (Ed Reed/Mayoral Photography Office)

Two-hundred thirty-six current and former staffers for Mayor de Blasio signed an open letter calling on him to live up to the promises of reform that initially drew them to work for him. Read about the effort here. Below is the full text of the document:

An Open Letter to Mayor Bill de Blasio

We are former and current de Blasio Administration staffers.

We came to the Mayor’s Office from different places and walks of life, but we all shared a common goal: to work for a fairer, more just New York City.

None of us joined the de Blasio Administration believing this mayor would be radical on criminal justice policy. That was apparent from the moment he hired Bill Bratton to be his police commissioner. But we saw in Bill de Blasio a chance for real change.

He made his opposition to “Stop and Frisk” a pillar of his run for the mayoralty. He spoke passionately about his duty as a parent to make New York City safer for his Black son and daughter. He called for cuts to the City’s jail population, and for the closure of Rikers Island.

It was our hope that these words were a starting place. That we could push the Administration further to reform New York City’s racist criminal legal system. That together we could create real, lasting change for a City and police department that have failed Black and brown New Yorkers, generation after generation.

Our time in the Mayor’s Office showed us that the change we had hoped for, and fought for, might never come.

We saw up close the Administration’s unwillingness to challenge the abuses of the NYPD—the Mayor’s refusal to fire Daniel Pantaleo for choking the life out of Eric Garner, the continuation of the failed “Broken Windows” policing strategy that criminalizes our Black and brown communities, the rejection of even basic accountability measures like making information public about police officers accused of misconduct.

We saw how, while crime rates are at record lows, the Administration has continued to pour money into the NYPD budget—which is now almost $1 billion larger than when de Blasio took office—heightening the over-policing of Black and brown communities.

We saw how the Mayor refused to end the use of solitary confinement, which took the lives of New Yorkers like Kalief Browder and Layleen Polanco, in the City’s jails.

We saw the aggressive push for the construction of new borough-based jails, at a cost of $9 billion, despite activists’ cries to invest that money in jobs and alternatives to incarceration.

The chasm between Mayor de Blasio’s promise to reform the criminal legal system and the actions of his Administration has only widened in the past year.

De Blasio expanded the City’s cooperation with Immigration and Customs Enforcement, which wages war on our immigrant communities.

He joined with police and prosecutors as they demonized the progressive bail and discovery reforms that activists and advocates spent years lobbying for in Albany.

He sat by as thousands of our fellow New Yorkers remained locked in cages on Rikers Island, while a deadly virus raged inside its jails.

And these past long days, as New Yorkers have taken to the streets demanding an end to the racist policing that humiliates, maims, and kills Black New Yorkers, he stood with the very police who perpetrate that violence.

Many of us marched at these protests. We’ve all seen the images and read the stories. Crowds of cops swarming over a single protestor, raining down blows with their batons. Protestors rammed with police cars. A rampaging cop throwing a protester to the curb, sending her to the hospital with seizures. A cop drawing his gun and pointing it into a crowd. A cop macing a defenseless young man with his hands in the air. Cops covering their badges so they could act with utter impunity.

What was the Mayor’s response? He said that the NYPD had “acted appropriately.” That police had “shown a lot of restraint.” That he “was not going to blame” officers who were trying to deal with an “impossible situation.”

And while the Mayor did attempt to walk back some of his comments on Sunday morning, by Tuesday he had implemented an 8:00 PM citywide curfew, an unprecedented attempt to silence New Yorkers’ cries for justice.

We have joined together in writing this letter because we could not remain silent while the Administration we served allows the NYPD to turn our City into an occupied territory. Our former boss might not hear the cries for justice from Black and brown New Yorkers, but we do.

We are demanding radical change from the Mayor, who is on the brink of losing all legitimacy in the eyes of New Yorkers.

1. Reduce the NYPD operating budget by $1 billion in Fiscal Year 2021, and reallocate that money to essential social services, including housing support and rental relief, food assistance, and health care, in alignment with the demands of the NYC Budget Justice campaign.

2. Immediately fire all NYPD officers found to have used excessive force—or to have covered their badges—at protests.

3. Release the names and official disciplinary records of all NYPD personnel who have been accused of using excessive force, covering their badge numbers, or other misconduct.

4. Appoint an independent commission, in the vein of the Knapp and Mollen Commissions, composed of civil rights attorneys, journalists, and activists, including abolitionist organizers, to investigate the response of the Mayor’s Office and the NYPD to the May and June 2020 protests against police violence.

We are also calling upon all former and current staffers of conscience to stand with us in our call for change.

We all chose to serve for a better New York. Stand with us now and demand justice—for George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Tony McDade, and Ahmaud Arbery. For Eric and Erica Garner. And for all Black and brown New Yorkers.

Signed,

Aarati Cohly, Aaron Ghitelman, Aaron S., Abdul Hafiz, Abe E., Abigail Cook-Mack, Aileen Almanzar, Aisha Pasha (Public Engagement Unit), Alacia Lauer (Mayor’s Office of Criminal Justice), Alejandro Cintron (Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs), Alex F. (Public Engagement Unit), Alex Washington, Alexandra R., Alexis H., Alyssa Lott, Amanda Clarke, Amen Ra Mashariki, Amrita Dasgupta, Amy Furman (Mayor’s Office of Recovery and Resiliency), Andrea H., Andrew Schustek, Angela Sherpa, Angela Lascala-Gruenewald, Angela Terry, Angie Carpio (Mayor’s Office of Criminal Justice), Anthi Markatos, Anthony Jackson (Mayor’s Office of Creative Communications), Arelis Hernandez, Ariel L., Ashe Mcgovern, Ashley C., Ashley Dinzey (Gracie Mansion), Ashley Putnam (NYC Office of Workforce Development), Audrey Crabtree-Hannigan (Office of Research & Media Analysis), Ayesha D., Ayesha I., Ben Kantor, Ben Sarle (Mayor’s Press Office), Benita Miller, Benjamin Mandel (Mayor’s Office of Sustainability), Bianca Guerrero (Mayor’s Office of Policy and Planning), Brad Raimondo (de Blasio for Mayor 2017), Brandon G. Brandon West (Mayor’s Office of Management and Budget), Brandt Hamilton (Mayor’s Office of Speechwriting), Brian Erickson (Mayor’s Office of Housing Recovery Operations), Brian Johnson (Mayor’s Office of Management and Budget), Bridgit Donnelly, Camara Cooper (Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs), Cara F., Carly Fleming (Public Engagement Unit) Carlyn Cowen (Mayor’s Office of Contract Services), Catherine Almonte, Cathy Pasion (Mayor’s Office of Sustainability), Chai Jindasurat (Mayor’s Office of Management and Budget), Charlette Renault-Caragianes, Christopher Collins-McNeil (Mayor’s Office of Intergovernmental Affairs), Colin Stayna-Wynter, Cristina Gonzalez (Mayor’s Office of Appointments), Cristine K. (Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs), Curtis Cravens (Mayor’s Office of Recovery and Resiliency), Daniel B., Daniel Backman, Daniel Edelman, Darren Martin, David Vincent Rodriguez (Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs), Deena Patel, Diana G., Dina Rybak, Dina Simon, Dorothy Suchkova (Mayor’s Office of Criminal Justice), Douglas Nam Le (Climate Policy and Programs), Eden T., Elisa Gahng, Elizabeth Olguin, Ellen P., Elvin Garcia (Mayor’s Community Affairs Unit), Emily Apple, Emily Preuss, Emnet Almedom (Mayor’s Office of Economic Opportunity), Eric G., Erika Lindsey, Esai Ramirez (Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs) Essence Franklin (Mayor’s Office for Economic Opportunity), Esther Rosario, Eve Grassfield (Office of the Deputy Mayor for Strategic Policy Initiatives), Ezra Cukor (CCHR), Felicia H., Frances Chapman, Gabriela Martins (NYC Census 2020), Gagan Kaur, Giulianna S., Gloria Medina (Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs), Gwendolyn Litvak, Hanif Yazdi (Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs), Hannah Shaw (Mayor’s Office for Economic Opportunity), Harrison N., Helen Ho, Hermanoschy Bernard, Hina Naveed (Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs), Ian Hanson, Ifeoma Ike (Young Men’s Initiative), Irina Tavera (NYC Census 2020), Jacqlene Moran (Mayor’s Office of Recovery and Resiliency), Jacqueline Crossan, James N., Janie K., Jasmine Fernandez, Jason Spear (Young Men’s Initiative), Jean Bae, Jen Samawat (Office of the First Lady of New York City), Jenna Tatum (NYC Mayor’s Office of Sustainability), Jennifer Scaife (Mayor’s Office of Criminal Justice), Jennings Louis, Jeremiah Cedeño (NYC Census 2020), Jerry Bruno, Jessica Woolford (Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs), Jesús Alejandro C., Joi Rae, Jonathan Soto, Joseph Desimone (de Blasio for Mayor 2013), Joshua C., Juana Silverio, Julie Kim (NYC Census), Julie W., June Glover, Karen Coronel (Mayor’s Office of Appointments), Kate Bernyk, Kate Van Tassel, Katerín Fernández (Office of the Deputy Mayor for Health and Human Services), Katie Unger, Kimberly P., Kristen Grennan, Kunchok Dolma (Mayor’s Office of Immigrant Affairs), Lacey Tauber, Leah R., Leigh Shapiro, Lexi I., Lilly L., Lily K., Lindsay F. (Mayor’s Office of Operations), Lindsay Mollineaux (Mayor’s Office of Data Analytics), Lindsay Scola

— New York Daily News | By Shant Shahrigian | June 03, 2020

— Shant Shahrigian covers politics for the Daily News. He was previously an assistant city editor for the paper, and has also worked for outlets from the hyperlocal Riverdale Press to Germany’s international broadcaster, Deutsche Welle.

[goldentelepath]

☁ ☂ ☣ ✿

Pour the damn salt on me! [x]

Warning, this post contains lethal serious sodium poisoning 

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn’t have?

No. Generally, If someone crosses that red line with me (guilting me, being verbally abusive, threatening me) I won’t tolerate that. Luckily– I’ve been good about avoiding people that are really bad about it for the most part, and they usually don’t pay much attention to me either/

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn’t have been?

Yes… yes. And Its hard for me to think about it. 

☣ Have you ever rp’d with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

Yes

 I met this person who I thought was really nice and sweet, but also a little on the sensitive side. I eventually became friends with them through our mutual friends as well as getting to know know them in a group. Everything was great between us and our mutuals for awhile. We all had fun RPing, plotting, tossing head cannons back and fourth,  and just shooting the shit together as buddies. 

This was all until things began happening and some red flags began to appear… many of which I dismissed because there was drama going on at the time and I thought that maybe this person was behaving the way they did because it was their way of coping with the situation. This also came with the fact that they were somebody I trusted and I didn’t think of them as being… manipulative.

Unfortunately, their behavior didn’t improve, if anything– They became worse…

It got to a point where it was just suffocating and draining to deal with them because they always had to have attention and were really needy. And if they didn’t get that attention, they cried even more about it even if other people were busy or having problems themselves. It was like– Everything had to revolve around them.

It eventually came to light that they had quite an… ‘infamous reputation’. 

They were well known for hopping in countless fandoms, shipping with many of the canon characters right off the bat even though they had it written that they didn’t ship right off the bat. They typically become obsessed with a certain character (or multiple ones)  in that fandom and pursued ships with all the people that had those muses. If someone with that muses didn’t ship with them, they would throw a big fit and guilt trip them via vague posting on their blog.  If they did get in a ship with someone, they would try and sweeten things with… ‘art’… They were also known for being manipulative, demanding of attention, validation, guilt tripping people, making everything about them and becoming upset at the slightest bit of criticism or advice. 

So anyhoo, I saw the current article was written a few years ago and much of the things that were written about them were years ago, so I thought maybe they had changed or learned from their mistakes.

unfortunately… 

They became even worse. 

I soon began to see very hurtful passive aggressive and vague posts (as well as tags in their post) that were clearly aimed at me and our mutual friends. They would put us down in those tags/posts with how they wanted ‘real friends’ and how we basically weren’t paying attention to them and mistreating them.. none of which was true as we had all been nothing but civil to them.

One of the friends tried talking to them, asking them how they were doing, what was wrong and how could they help. In response, they were met by snarky jabs…

As if the vague posts weren’t bad enough, they went behind many of our partners backs or people we talked to and said awful things about us and made themselves the victim and ‘woe is me’’.

I wasn’t doing very well at the time myself as I was struggling with my ED, so when they started behaving in such an ill manner and trying to slander people that I knew were good people, it really upset me all that much more. It got to the point where I eventually had enough of their antics and just ended up blocking them.

This is something that I find completely unacceptable. I was more than willing to be friends with this person and give them a chance despite their past, but they made it clear that they weren’t gonna change.

I wish them the best of luck, but I have no desire to be around them myself.

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

I do not at all approve of ‘call out posts’, A majority of them are done out of pettiness and maliciousness rather than actually ‘saving people from toxic people’. Just because you don’t get along with someone or don’t like them doesn’t give you a right to make a callout post on them. 

I recently had a few friends that were victims of a callout post. the person who posted the callout post on them cropped out a majority of the context in screenshots they took from a chatroom side by side with their angry and berating comments. The people they targeted were not even remotely ‘bad people’, they were people that the person and a few others didn’t get along with, namely because they were the more strict and enforcing moderators of the chatroom. 

I think one of the things that really makes me most angry about it, was learning th idenity of one of the people who was one of the ‘masterminds’ behind the callout post. That person was once someone I had known for almost a year and I considered a good friend. They were not RPers themselves (and don't RP still that I am aware of), but I brought them into the community myself thinking they would be a good fit. (and shit… do I regret it)

I was relayed screenshots of this persons dialogue throughout the ordeal… and I was appalled by what I saw. 

While everyone else was angry, they were all happy and giddy about it and joyful about making the post and hurting the people who were in it. Their tone and words were beyond sickening to see and it almost made me throw up because it was sooo awful to see.

As if things didn’t get any worse, one of my best friends (and one of the people included in it) almost took their own life because of that post and the cruel backlash they received, many from people who didn’t even know them. It broke my heart, and I just wanted so badly to hug and protect them even though they lived halfway across the country from me.

After everything simmered down and the post was ‘deleted’, I learned that the ‘mastermind’ had found out my friend almost ended himself, and they were actually..

Proud of it.

I honest to god, in my twenty five years of existence have never been so disgusted with a individual human being. 

I hope that the person realizes that if my friend had taken his life, I would have seen that him and the other people responsible were held accountable, and that federal charges were brought against all of them. (at least the ones in the united states)

I would have made sure that the judge threw the book at them, especially at my... ‘old friend’.

needless to say, though I have forgiven many of the people, I will never forgive nor reconcile with the one who nearly costed my friend their life. They showed me their true colors and how truly vile they are.

[fencer-x]

All-night Yuri!!! on Ice marathon + talk event report

Okay! It's now a full 12 hours after the event ended, and I've finally woken up lol So here I come bearing a report!

I'm sure several people will be posting their own reports, and I doubt any of us will have captured EVERYTHING that happened, so it's best to read multiple accounts for the greatest coverage XD

As expected, the event started with the talk portion, which involved Toyonaga, Suwabe, and Uchiyama (the podium family's seiyuu) along with creator Kubo-sensei. We were treated to the new visual, which has been making the rounds now and features the whole cast in their FS costumes taking a selfie with Phichit's selfie-stick, and were told that the marathon/event was being streamed to FIFTY theaters across the country--the largest anime streaming event EVER.

Something else that was also really great to me: there were quite a few people who were there seeing the show FOR THE FIRST TIME. Can you imagine how great that would be? Getting to see this entire series, for the very first time, on a huge movie screen surrounded by fans?? I'D KILL FOR THAT EXPERIENCE.

The talk event was divided into three corners.

1) SP - A "look back" talk, reflecting on what they'd done, how their performances had changed over the course of the series. Both Toyonaga and Suwabe reflected that they had no real memory of their performance from around halfway through the series, everything just coming through them and going directly into the character, and it was only on watching the final versions that they were like, "Oh wow, this character is actually that kind of person huh?"

Toyonaga also brought up the very first line of the opening scene, where Yuuri is doing a voice-over, talking about Victor. He'd wondered to himself WHEN that Yuuri was from--as it sounded like it was reflecting on the past. He asked the director, who told him when it took place, and he used that to guide the performance. "...So when DID it take place?" you ask? Toyonaga said he would never tell.

Suwabe went on to describe when he felt Victor "changed", when his feelings toward Yuuri shifted, and that he had a good idea of it himself and put it into the performance, but that he didn't want to share that with others, because he felt that seeing that evolution was a very personal thing for each person watching and didn't want to push his ideas onto other people (this is a very Japanese thing to do--and is also why Kubo-sensei does not want to outright say that Victor and Yuuri kissed in episode 7, because a) it should be obvious lol and b) it's a personal experience when watching the show how you understand different scenes to have unfolded and the emotions and thoughts felt therein)

2) FS - Topics they can discuss now that the show is over

Here, Kubo-sensei talked about her recent trip to Europe, something she and the director had planned to do while the series was being created once it finished. She talked about going to see a Czech competition, and there...she saw Victor and Yurio cosplayers! She was absolutely tickled to see cosplayers at such an event (something that would NEVER be allowed in Japan; though the cosplayers were just wearing wigs, apparently), and they noticed her as a Japanese person near them. They didn't recognize her as Kubo-sensei, but she slyly mentioned that she did know YOI and was a fan. The cosplayers got excited and told her that she was allowed to take a picture of them XDDD Not knowing she was the person responsible for their cosplay.

To top it off, only moments later, she posted to instagram that she was in Czech Republic doing some sight-seeing, and a Czech commenter excitedly offered, in the replies, to show her around. She clicked on that person's profile.......and it was the Victor cosplayer she'd just been offered a picture of XD

On other topics, the final episode had LOTS of cuts and retakes, apparently, and was only finished at the VERY last-minute. Stephan Lambiel's performance, even, wasn't taped until Monday--and the show aired Wednesday.

3) Post-skate interview - this section included responses to questions gathered from Twitter.

[(for Kubo-sensei) "What points do you pay particular attention to when drawing the characters?"] She only drew characters for the storyboards, really, so she did very simple versions but made sure that it was easy to tell in an instant which character was which, to make it easier for the character designers and animators to work from.

She also mentioned that she was drawing a short manga that would be included with purchases of the box-set (this isn't new info; it was announced ages ago), but got inspired for the content by the recent trip she just took to Europe. When asked about that content, all she said was that, "Fans of Yurio will be happy" and that not every character would appear.

["Who would you like to be your coach if you were a figure skater?"] Toyonaga wanted Victor, for sure, but after thinking a little longer on it, he thought JJ's parents would be really nice as well, since they're family. Suwabe wanted Yakov, and Uchiyama wanted the Yakov-Liliya combination like Yurio.

["Who is that man with Chris?"] Ah, the question on everyone's mind. Kubo-sensei didn't really offer any new information aside from what we'd already recently learned--that he's affiliated with the Swiss Skating Federation and was probably a former ice dancer; he also looks after Chris' cat while he's gone. He doesn't have a name, but she'd taken to thinking of him as "Masumi" based on his design's resemblance to the character of the same name in The Glass Mask:

Geez, she wasn’t kidding XD

She then asked everyone to be kind to "Masumetti" (a namesmush of Masumi and Giacometti).

["What figure skating move do you most want to try?"] Toyonaga wanted to do hydroblading (like JJ does), Suwabe liked the jumps and wanted to do a centuple (100 rotations) or maybe at least the quadruple axel that hadn't been achieved yet in competition. Uchiyama loved the spins.

The event closed out with some announcements--there's a YOI-themed lecture on figure skating to help fans get into the sport to be held March 3 (I'm gonna try to go, but I'm betting it'll be difficult to get tickets!), the April 29th talk event with the full cast and then some (which is where I'm thinking a Season 2 announcement will come). They were also selling the two DVDs out so far plus the soundtrack at the theaters, and it was here that the unaired tracks came up. Kubo-sensei was EXTREMELY suggestive about "Welcome to the Madness", the song meant to be used for Yurio's Exhibition piece. She repeatedly needled the audience in a teasing manner with, "Everyone wants to see Yurio's exhibition piece, right? Everyone wants to see it yeah?" This tells me that we will definitely get to see it, as it wasn't delivered in a sympathetic way like "oh wouldn't it be nice..." but in a teasing, taunting way that would only be said if there was inherent promise in it, so get excited to see that somewhere soon!

For the marathon event itself, well that was just amazing, what can I say? It's an indescribable experience, being in a huge room of VERY excited and enthusiastic fans like that. Everyone was cheering and applauding and offering endearing color commentary as well. In episode 2, for instance, when Yuuri scrambles away from Victor and Victor asks innocently, "Why are you running away?" one girl piped up with, "REMEMBER THE BANQUET!!" and everyone burst out laughing XD

It looked like perhaps up to episodes 5 or 6 had used the DVD/BR remastered versions, as many points had been fixed as on the DVDs. Yuuri's "JARAN" on his jacket seen in episode 5, for example, had been fixed to read JAPAN and been replaced with a new serif font. The later episodes, though, did not seem to have been changed, as the font was not consistent in later episodes, and other changes (like changing Yuuri's ugly necktie from sky blue to stripes with shades of light blue) were not reflected in later episodes. We also got to see the endings of episodes 5, 9, and 10 without the credits marring the beautiful scenes, so that was really great!

And speaking of the credits, we only saw the OP and ED once; the OP was played for the very first episode, and the ED was played after episode 7; other than that, the episodes blended seamlessly together.

On that episode 7 note, I thought my heart was gonna burst with happiness when the entire theater shrieked with cheers and applause and cries of "congratulations!" when Victor jumped into Yuuri to kiss him. The same happened when Phichit announced that his friends had gotten married--everyone was just totally into the moment, and it really left you with this weird feeling of comaraderie even though you were surrounded by strangers. Each and every person was so invested in this relationship, so happy, so moved. I felt really emotionally drained by the end, coming down from that high.

These bursts of applause were also repeated throughout the series whenever skaters landed their jumps cleanly, as if we were actually watching them in real time, in real life. It was just so nice??

tl;dr - 1000% would absolutely do that again. I've never done a marathon with a huge theater of fans before, for various reasons, and I'm so glad I had such a great experience my first time. I cannot recommend it highly enough if you have the chance yourself to take part in such a thing!

[ultimatestudyabroad]

This Sucks

Note – I wrote this in November and December, when I was at a particularly low point in my job searching despair (there have been several, including now). I didn’t publish it at the time because I felt it wouldn’t be good to have this in the public domain while I was still looking for a job, but since coronavirus has paused all job searches and it seems I will never again have gainful employment, I figure, what the hell? Maybe it will be cathartic to get my frustration out into the universe.

My happiness from a year ago feels like a dream. Facebook reminds me that a year ago I was on a mini-holiday in Port Douglas with friends, marking essays for the class I was teaching in between snorkeling sessions and gin and tonics. My day-to-day life was luxuriously full of reading and writing; my weekends full of concerts and shows, trips to the beach, and dinners with friends. And though my financial subsistence was meagre, I had regular income and I had established a budget that allowed me to live without worrying about money all that often. And above all, I felt like the best, happiest version of myself. This was a life I had intentionally built for myself through meticulous planning and more than a bit of luck. It was everything I had ever hoped it would be.

That luck has run out. From the beginning, I knew that my life in Australia was but temporary and, if you read this blog regularly, you know that I was very concerned with whether, upon return to the U.S., I’d be able to build a better life there than I had had before Australia. Certainly not as happy as I was in Sydney, but hopefully happier than before I left. Instead, I have no life. Four-and-a-half months since I’ve returned to the U.S. (now 11 months) and a full nine months since my first administrative job application was submitted (now 15), I still have no job and no immediate job prospects. Applications are out, sure, but the hiring process in higher ed usually takes months (and now it is non-existent because of coronavirus). The money I so carefully saved throughout my time in Sydney for this period of transition is gone. I’m still relying on the kindness of friends and family to house me and Hibby. I have no job, I have no steady income, I have no home, I have no future, and I have absolutely no idea when (or if) it will ever end.

Now, before people start thinking to themselves, “the academic job market is brutal” or “it took me years to get an academic job,” I want to be clear that I am not searching for an academic job. I made an attempt at the academic job market in the (northern hemisphere) fall of 2018, applying for about 15 postdocs, short-term though multi-year teaching gigs, and tenure-track positions. My expectations were low, so I was not really surprised when absolutely nothing came of these.

So, when February 2019 rolled around and the thesis due date drew near, I turned my attention to what had been my realistic plan all along: re-enter my former career in higher ed administration. Given my decade-plus experience in the field and wealth of contacts, I didn’t think this would be too terribly difficult. I knew that job searches in higher ed take forever and I had saved accordingly. I also knew that mid-level jobs (in between entry-level and assistant vice provost level) are harder to come by, but I was/am willing to be flexible geographically. (For crying out loud, I applied to two jobs at the University of Wisconsin! I would freeze my ass off there!) But, I never in my wildest dreams imagined it would possibly take this long.

It’s not that I’m directionless, a young professional trying to find her niche; I know exactly what my field is. It’s not that I’m being too choosy; I’ve applied for 60 admin jobs. It’s not that I’m choosing inappropriate jobs for my experience; I’ve had phone interviews for over a third of the jobs I’ve applied for. I’ve been a finalist for two jobs (neither one of which I got, obviously). My application materials are good. I’ve been to this rodeo a number of times before; I know how to do this. Still nothing…

I have friends who try to offer explanations and, while I know and appreciate that they’re trying to be supportive, their explanations don’t help because they, much like the process itself, are nonsensical and contradictory. I’ve been told, “it’s all in who you know.” Well, again, I fucking know everyone at Duke and, after nine applications there, I’ve only had two phone interviews! I’ve been told, “you have to leave Duke and come back to work your way up.” Silly me, I thought moving to the other side of the planet for 3.5 years was leaving Duke. I’ve been told that my PhD is holding me back, never mind the fact that many of the jobs I’ve applied for are PhD-preferred or -required. And never mind the fact that a big part of the reason I decided to do the PhD in the first place (even though I had my eyes wide open about the state of the academic job market) was because I was told again and again that I would need a PhD to advance much past my former position. In fact, my former position was PhD-preferred. I was the only one on the team without a PhD and I had to endure all sorts of snide comments about “non-intellectuals” (to be clear, not from my colleagues but from higher administrators and faculty). Since I wanted to do the PhD anyway, just for myself, I decided to go for it. Not having the PhD held me back, but apparently having it also holds me back?

Well, you see, one helpful explanation goes, I chose to do an academic PhD, in a discipline as opposed to an EdD or PhD in higher ed. What the fuck? First, I sat on several hiring committees in my last job in which people with higher ed degrees were sneered at. Secondly, I chose a discipline because that’s the subject that interested me enough to devote three years of my life to it. I love working with undergraduates, but I don’t want to study the little bastards! Oh, but don’t you see, since you have an academic PhD, hiring managers will assume you’re not serious about the role and will leave as soon as you get an academic job. FFFUUUUUUCCKKK MMMMEEEEE! That’s not going to happen! There aren’t any academic jobs!

As much as I want to dismiss this no-win point of view on the PhD, I know that, at least at times, it’s completely true. People in administration seem completely oblivious to the casualization crisis in academia. This blows my mind, since we all work in the same damn industry. Even so, I’m prepared for the “why did you do a PhD” question and have my polished (and completely honest!) answer prepared. And that was the verbal answer I gave to one particularly annoying iteration of that question, but my mental response was quite a bit different. The question was posed along the lines of, “I see you just got a PhD. I want to make sure you understand that this is not a teaching job.” The polished answer came out of my mouth while the snarky, bitchy, fed-up Mel voice in the back of my mind responded, “Yes, I know that. Because 1. I can fucking read. 2. I wrote a whole cover letter which demonstrated I knew exactly what the job is. And 3. There are no teaching jobs!”

I feel frustrated even when talking to people who support me. The frustration brought on by hiring managers is exponentially worse. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve seen a number of frustrated tweets about the lack of follow up after interviews. Of that one-third of the jobs I’ve applied for in which I’ve had phone interviews, only THREE hiring managers have done me the courtesy of emailing me to let me know I was not advancing to an in-person interview. One school didn’t send me my generic rejection email until eight months after my phone interview. Two places I had phone interviews (both in 2019) still haven’t contacted me at all. Now, reader, don’t give me any bullshit about the number of applications received for the average job or how busy everyone is. I’m not complaining about the mass rejection email from HR I get for jobs I don’t get an interview for. I’m talking about a hiring committee doing 6-7 phone interviews and inviting three of those people to campus for an in-person interview while never bothering to send 3-4 emails to the other interviewees! It does not take much time to send 3-4 identical emails that say, “Thank you for speaking with us last week about the position. Unfortunately, you were not selected for an in-person interview, but we wish you the best of luck in your search.” See? I just did it! That took like 30 seconds! By November, I was over this shit. Two weeks after a phone interview, I sent a polite email asking for a status update. Which was completely ignored! On what planet is that acceptable?

Here’s another little lesson in human decency for hiring managers: don’t call people’s references unless you plan to offer them the job. Because when someone’s references are contacted, they assume they’re about to get a job offer. Those two jobs I was a finalist for? They were at the same school and they contacted my references twice. Same people, 1.5 months apart! If you feel so compelled to call references on multiple people, be transparent. Send an email to the candidates saying , “FYI - we’re checking references on both of our finalists.” (And btw, where are you getting all this time to make all these phone calls, anyway? I thought you didn’t have time to send 3-4 emails to the rejected phone interview candidates!)

Piled on top of my frustration, despair, rapidly eroding self-esteem, and bank account anxiety is guilt. Guilt over being annoyed with my friends who are incapable of cheering me up in the face of a hopeless situation. Guilt over assuring undergrads in my temp advising job that they will be able to find jobs after they graduate (I know it’s my job to calm them down, but seriously, how hypocritical can I possibly be?!). Guilt over that panel on non-academic jobs I organized at the 2018 AHA. The one where I told everyone that administration jobs are rewarding and realistic. Ha! If I, with all my experience, can’t find a job, can a newly minted PhD in his/her mid-late 20s who went straight from undergrad to grad school really expect to find one? Without being dismissed as only wanting an academic job? I apologize to all the folks at that panel. Your post-grad rep (unwittingly) lied to you!

I am obviously in a very dark place right now. That’s not to say I regret doing my PhD. Not at all. Not for a moment. This was the best three years of my life. I’m proud of the research I did. I am an infinitely better person than I was four years ago. But someone just needs to give me a fucking job.

[lisarprahl]

Accounting News Roundup: Accountants Are Busy; There Will Be No Postcard Tax Returns; Crypto Tax Prep | 12.22.17

Ed. note: The Accounting News Roundup will be off next Monday and Tuesday, returning Wednesday. While things are quiet, send tips and links to tips@goingconcern.com. And remember Open Items is like 7-11.  

Tax Bill Is Great for Accountants — Unless They Have Holiday Plans [NYT] Yesterday, we mentioned that the AICPA was perturbed about CPAs being left out of the tax cut extravaganza. But really, Barry Melancon & Co. shouldn’t feel all that bad, because every accountant from Boston to Boise to Biloxi is too busy making heads or tails of the new (impending) law of the land:

Late nights spent scrutinizing the new rules in the office have fueled UberEats and other food delivery services. Christmas shopping? Forget about it. Long-scheduled holiday trips are being delayed or interrupted.

PricewaterhouseCoopers, one of the Big Four accounting firms, is not rescinding its tradition of shutting down the entire firm from Christmas to New Year’s Day.

But that’s basically a technicality.

“People and teams are going to have to figure out what they need to do to make sure we’re serving our clients appropriately during a difficult time,” said Len Combs, the firm’s chief United States auditor.

Congress made things difficult enough by shoving this bill through so no one had proper time to dig into it; however, EY’s vice chair of tax is quoted that many clients didn’t expect it to happen at all. “30 to 40 percent of the heads of tax at corporate clients are scrambling to model out the new law,” Kate Barton said. And then there are the people who can’t get enough. One Grant Thornton tax director gushed, “This has, in some ways, been my Super Bowl. It’s been the most exciting time of my career.”

Who needs a tax cut with all this excitement? Happy (Billing) Holidays, everyone.

Does the GOP tax plan make taxes simple enough to fit on a postcard? Probably not, experts say. [NBC] The claim that the tax bill will allow 90 percent of Americans to fit their tax return on a form the size of a postcard is one of the most insulting pieces of rhetorical nonsense in the modern political era. If they do manage to fit the 1040EZ onto a postcard, I fully expect to see “Greetings from Hell” on the back of every single one.

Grant Thornton has a 26% gender pay gap [Economia] GT’s U.K. affiliate has the biggest gap, even when compared to its Big 4 rivals. The disparity is driven by the most senior, highest-paid positions being held primarily by men. At the entry level, the split is 50:50 and the firm says that “on a gross basic full time equivalent basis, the gap is only of 1%, meaning men and women in similar roles are being rewarded consistently.”

Happy Tax starts cryptocurrency specialty tax practice [AT] You gotta strike while the iron’s hot, right? “[T]he IRS said that even though millions had traded cryptocurrency in 2015, only 802 taxpayers included such trades on their tax returns. Happy Tax hopes to help taxpayers who find themselves in such a situation.”

Survey says…

Over the past month, we’ve been surveying accountants about their experience with the month-end close. If you haven’t taken our query yet, do us a solid and spend a few minutes answering some painless questions. We appreciate it.

Brought to you by Accountingfly

The featured job of the week is an Experienced Accountant position with FloQast in Los Angeles. They’re looking for someone with at least 2 years experience at a Big 4 or national firm.

Previously, on Going Concern…

Jason Bramwell wrote about how controllers can up their cybersecurity game.

In Open Items, a CPA exam candidate is feeling lost.

In other news:

Eric Schmidt to Step Down as Alphabet’s Executive Chairman

Long Island Iced Tea Soars After Changing Its Name to Long Blockchain

SEC Charges Operators of $1.2 Billion Ponzi Scheme Targeting Main Street Investors

Chocolate Poisoning Risk In Dogs Peaks At Christmas, Study Finds

Elderly couple claims marijuana was for Christmas presents

Get the Accounting News Roundup in your inbox every weekday by signing up here. You can also sign up to receive our job alerts for select cities like Chicago and Houston.

See something we missed? Have a tip, correction, comment, or complaint? Email us at editor@goingconcern.com.

Image: iStock/cyano66

The post Accounting News Roundup: Accountants Are Busy; There Will Be No Postcard Tax Returns; Crypto Tax Prep | 12.22.17 appeared first on Going Concern.

from Accounting News http://goingconcern.com/accounting-news-accountants-busy-tax-bill-postcard-crypto-tax/

[ashleydpalmerusa]

Accounting News Roundup: Accountants Are Busy; There Will Be No Postcard Tax Returns; Crypto Tax Prep | 12.22.17

Ed. note: The Accounting News Roundup will be off next Monday and Tuesday, returning Wednesday. While things are quiet, send tips and links to tips@goingconcern.com. And remember Open Items is like 7-11.  

Tax Bill Is Great for Accountants — Unless They Have Holiday Plans [NYT] Yesterday, we mentioned that the AICPA was perturbed about CPAs being left out of the tax cut extravaganza. But really, Barry Melancon & Co. shouldn’t feel all that bad, because every accountant from Boston to Boise to Biloxi is too busy making heads or tails of the new (impending) law of the land:

Late nights spent scrutinizing the new rules in the office have fueled UberEats and other food delivery services. Christmas shopping? Forget about it. Long-scheduled holiday trips are being delayed or interrupted.

PricewaterhouseCoopers, one of the Big Four accounting firms, is not rescinding its tradition of shutting down the entire firm from Christmas to New Year’s Day.

But that’s basically a technicality.

“People and teams are going to have to figure out what they need to do to make sure we’re serving our clients appropriately during a difficult time,” said Len Combs, the firm’s chief United States auditor.

Congress made things difficult enough by shoving this bill through so no one had proper time to dig into it; however, EY’s vice chair of tax is quoted that many clients didn’t expect it to happen at all. “30 to 40 percent of the heads of tax at corporate clients are scrambling to model out the new law,” Kate Barton said. And then there are the people who can’t get enough. One Grant Thornton tax director gushed, “This has, in some ways, been my Super Bowl. It’s been the most exciting time of my career.”

Who needs a tax cut with all this excitement? Happy (Billing) Holidays, everyone.

Does the GOP tax plan make taxes simple enough to fit on a postcard? Probably not, experts say. [NBC] The claim that the tax bill will allow 90 percent of Americans to fit their tax return on a form the size of a postcard is one of the most insulting pieces of rhetorical nonsense in the modern political era. If they do manage to fit the 1040EZ onto a postcard, I fully expect to see “Greetings from Hell” on the back of every single one.

Grant Thornton has a 26% gender pay gap [Economia] GT’s U.K. affiliate has the biggest gap, even when compared to its Big 4 rivals. The disparity is driven by the most senior, highest-paid positions being held primarily by men. At the entry level, the split is 50:50 and the firm says that “on a gross basic full time equivalent basis, the gap is only of 1%, meaning men and women in similar roles are being rewarded consistently.”

Happy Tax starts cryptocurrency specialty tax practice [AT] You gotta strike while the iron’s hot, right? “[T]he IRS said that even though millions had traded cryptocurrency in 2015, only 802 taxpayers included such trades on their tax returns. Happy Tax hopes to help taxpayers who find themselves in such a situation.”

Survey says…

Over the past month, we’ve been surveying accountants about their experience with the month-end close. If you haven’t taken our query yet, do us a solid and spend a few minutes answering some painless questions. We appreciate it.

Brought to you by Accountingfly

The featured job of the week is an Experienced Accountant position with FloQast in Los Angeles. They’re looking for someone with at least 2 years experience at a Big 4 or national firm.

Previously, on Going Concern…

Jason Bramwell wrote about how controllers can up their cybersecurity game.

In Open Items, a CPA exam candidate is feeling lost.

In other news:

Eric Schmidt to Step Down as Alphabet’s Executive Chairman

Long Island Iced Tea Soars After Changing Its Name to Long Blockchain

SEC Charges Operators of $1.2 Billion Ponzi Scheme Targeting Main Street Investors

Chocolate Poisoning Risk In Dogs Peaks At Christmas, Study Finds

Elderly couple claims marijuana was for Christmas presents

Get the Accounting News Roundup in your inbox every weekday by signing up here. You can also sign up to receive our job alerts for select cities like Chicago and Houston.

See something we missed? Have a tip, correction, comment, or complaint? Email us at editor@goingconcern.com.

Image: iStock/cyano66

The post Accounting News Roundup: Accountants Are Busy; There Will Be No Postcard Tax Returns; Crypto Tax Prep | 12.22.17 appeared first on Going Concern.

from Accounting News http://goingconcern.com/accounting-news-accountants-busy-tax-bill-postcard-crypto-tax/

[samanthasroberts]

Manchester United fake bomb ‘fiasco’: call for full investigation

Police commissioner demands inquiry after discovery of apparent explosive device at Old Trafford forced match to be abandoned

There has been a call for a full inquiry after Manchester Uniteds final Premier League game of the season was abandoned after the discovery of an apparent explosive device that later turned out to be a fake bomb planted as part of a training exercise.

Greater Manchesters police and crime commissioner, Tony Lloyd, said it was necessary to find out how the bogus explosive came to be left behind by a security company.

The error led to Uniteds home stadium being evacuated 20 minutes before their match against Bournemouth was due to kick off after an incredibly lifelike explosive device was found at the ground. The game has been rescheduled to Tuesday at 8pm.

It is outrageous this situation arose and a full inquiry is required to urgently find out how this happened, why it happened and who will be held accountable, said Lloyd.

This fiasco caused massive inconvenience to supporters who had come from far and wide to watch the match, wasted the time of huge numbers of police officers and the armys bomb squad, and unnecessarily put people in danger, as evacuating tens of thousands of people from a football stadium is not without risk.

Army bomb disposal experts carried out a controlled explosion on the dummy device, which was discovered in the toilets within the north-west quadrant of the stadium, between the Sir Alex Ferguson Stand and the Stretford End.

Old Trafford

Detailed examination found that the package, thought to consist of a mobile phone attached to a pipe, was not viable, Greater Manchester police initially said. A few hours later the force released a statement saying the package had been identified as a training device.

The company responsible for leaving the fake device is reportedly Security Search Management and Solutions. The firm was hired by Deacons Canines to carry out practical training exercises for sniffer dogs at the stadium last week.

SSMS describe themselves as providing discreet operational advice and training for venues such as hotels, conference centres and sporting stadia that require a high level of confidence in their security for special events and VIPs. The company has done work for the Westfield shopping centre in east London, Twickenham RFU, the 2014 Commonwealth Games and the Farnborough International Airshow.

On Monday morning, there was no response at the companys registered address in Bexley, Kent.

GMP said on Sunday night: Shortly before todays planned football fixture, which was due to kick off at 3pm, staff from the Manchester United ground alerted police to a suspicious item that had been found. Police quickly attended and explosives experts were called in to assess the item, which has been described as an incredibly realistic-looking explosive device.

Initially, a partial evacuation of the stadium was put in place but a decision was made between police and Manchester United club officials to abandon the game and a full controlled evacuation of the stadium was carried out.

GMP confirmed that the exercise involving the fake bomb was not connected with a terror training exercise they carried out at the Trafford shopping centre last week.

GMPs assistant chief constable, John OHare, said: I am grateful to the Manchester United and Bournemouth supporters for their support and assistance today. Following todays controlled explosion, we have since found out that the item was a training device which had accidentally been left by a private company following a training exercise involving explosives search dogs. While this item did not turn out to be a viable explosive, on appearance this device was as real as could be and the decision to evacuate the stadium was the right thing to do, until we could be sure that people were not at risk.

Everyone remained calm, followed instructions and worked with officers and stewards to ensure that a safe evacuation was quickly completed. Those present today were a credit to the football family and their actions should be recognised. I would also like to thank all those involved in the operation today for such a professional response, which includes police officers, stewards, MUFC staff, media representatives and commentators and the bomb-disposal team.

The Manchester United executive vice-chairman, Ed Woodward, said: The safety of fans is always our highest priority. Id like to thank the support from the police, which was first class, and the impeccable response from fans of both teams. The club takes security very seriously and staff are regularly trained with the police and emergency services to identify and deal with these incidents. We will investigate the incident to inform future actions and decisions.

What happened in Old Trafford this Sunday left all of us who were there absolutely shocked, wrote United midfielder Juan Mata on his blog on Monday morning. Everybody in the security team did an effective job, resulting in a quick evacuation of the stadium. It helped not to spread panic around, although all of us had a very odd feeling; something like strain mixed with a lack of understanding. The fans left the stadium before we did; I think we left Old Trafford at around 5, with the feeling that everything was already under control. I feel sorry for all those people who had to go back home without watching the game, because thats what they had come for.

A terrorist attack has long been the nightmare scenario for one of the worlds biggest football clubs. In January, United reportedly beefed up security at Old Trafford following the terror attack at the Stade de France in Paris.

It was only about 20 minutes before the scheduled kick-off of 3pm on Sunday that it became clear all was not well at Old Trafford, the UKs biggest stadium apart from Wembley, with a capacity of more than 75,000.

Many supporters were not yet in the ground when fans were evacuated as security personnel announced operation code red. It is understood that both sets of players were kept in the dressing rooms for about 40 minutes before being taken to a suite, being looked after by security and hospitality staff.

Sorry, your browser is unable to play this video.

Old Trafford evacuated after security alert before Manchester United game

The alert at Old Trafford came just days after the home secretary, Theresa May, announced that MI5 had raised the threat level to Britain from Northern Ireland-related terrorism from moderate to substantial the third most serious category out of five.

May said on Wednesday that the move reflects the continuing threat from dissident republican activity.

The threat level to the UK from international terrorism remains at severe meaning an attack is highly likely. This has not been changed. Next month marks 20 years since the IRA destroyed Manchesters shopping district in a bomb attack.

It was a galling day for United for many reasons. Manchester Citys 1-1 draw against Swansea City ended any chance of Louis Van Gaals team qualifying for the Champions League and there is the added possibility that Bournemouth will seek compensation for their travel costs.

Of greater concern to Van Gaal is that his team must now play a midweek fixture when they are preparing to meet Crystal Palace in the FA Cup final at Wembley on Saturday.

In announcing the postponement of the game until Tuesday, the Premier League said: The decision to abandon the Manchester United versus AFC Bournemouth match was taken after the police advised of the necessity to deal with a suspect package. When it comes to matters of security it is obviously right that Manchester United and the Premier League place the safety of supporters and employees foremost.

It is always the last resort to abandon one of our fixtures and while we apologise for the inconvenience caused to fans we are sure, in the circumstances, they will appreciate the need to do so.

There was inevitable disappointment from fans who had travelled to the match. Sam Stride, a United supporter from Bristol, said: Unbelievable. This is the first time I have been to Old Trafford to see a game. My mate and I have known each other for 63 years and we travelled up from Bristol together. We sat in the Stretford End for about five seconds before they asked us to leave. Its very disappointing.

But in the beer gardens outside the ground fans were largely accepting of the decision to cancel the match, the fine weather and alcohol taking the edge off any frustration. Pub landlord Steve Kerr was trying to look on the bright side. The suns shining, everybody is in good spirits. But weve not really been happy all season this puts the final nail in the coffin, he said.

It sums up our season, that. Just fizzling out something and nothing, said Matt Crew, who had come up for the match from Leek in Staffordshire. His father, Dave, said there was no trouble during the mass evacuation. People were just singing and chanting as usual. You cant blame the club really. Theyre caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. If anything goes wrong theyll be the ones criticised. Security is the most important thing these days, he said.

Bournemouths fans could be heard chanting: You dont know what youre doing, because of the lack of information inside the stadium and, though United have been praised for the manner in which the evacuation took place, there was more embarrassment for the club that it was left to their opponents to announce, via Twitter, that the match had been called off. With various news outlets reporting the same, journalists asking the question of United were told we dont know.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/17/manchester-united-fake-bomb-fiasco-call-for-full-investigation/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/09/17/manchester-united-fake-bomb-fiasco-call-for-full-investigation/

[mdye]

Trump has repeatedly claimed he's "the least racist person." Here's what his history shows.

President Donald Trump has a standard response for questions about whether he’s racist: He’ll tell you that no, in fact, he’s "the least racist person that you’ve ever encountered."

But Trump’s record tells a very different story.

On the campaign trail, Trump repeatedly made explicitly racist and otherwise bigoted remarks — from calling Mexican immigrants criminals and rapists to proposing a ban on all Muslims entering the US to suggesting that a judge should recuse himself from a case solely because of the judge’s Mexican heritage.

The trend has continued into his presidency. From stereotyping a black reporter to pandering to white supremacists after they held a violent rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, Trump hasn’t stopped with the racist acts even after his election.

In fact, the very first time Trump appeared in the pages of the New York Times, back in the 1970s, was when the US Department of Justice sued him for racial discrimination. Since then, he has repeatedly appeared in newspaper pages across the world as he inspired more similar controversies.

This long history is important. It would be one thing if Trump simply misspoke one or two times. But when you take all of Trump’s actions and comments together, a clear pattern emerges — one that suggests that bigotry is not just political opportunism on Trump’s part but a real element of Trump’s personality, character, and career.

Trump has a long history of racist controversies

Here’s a breakdown of Trump’s history, taken largely from Dara Lind’s list for Vox and an op-ed by Nicholas Kristof in the New York Times:

1973: The US Department of Justice — under the Nixon administration, out of all administrations — sued the Trump Management Corporation for violating the Fair Housing Act. Federal officials found evidence that Trump had refused to rent to black tenants and lied to black applicants about whether apartments were available, among other accusations. Trump said the federal government was trying to get him to rent to welfare recipients. In the aftermath, he signed an agreement in 1975 agreeing not to discriminate to renters of color without admitting to discriminating before.

1980s: Kip Brown, a former employee at Trump's Castle, accused another of Trump's businesses of discrimination. "When Donald and Ivana came to the casino, the bosses would order all the black people off the floor," Brown said. "It was the eighties, I was a teenager, but I remember it: They put us all in the back."

1988: In a commencement speech at Lehigh University, Trump spent much of his speech accusing countries like Japan of "stripping the United States of economic dignity." This matches much of his current rhetoric on China.

1989: In a controversial case that’s been characterized as a modern-day lynching, four black teenagers and one Latino teenager — the "Central Park Five" — were accused of attacking and raping a jogger in New York City. Trump immediately took charge in the case, running an ad in local papers demanding, "BRING BACK THE DEATH PENALTY. BRING BACK OUR POLICE!" The teens’ convictions were later vacated after they spent seven to 13 years in prison, and the city paid $41 million in a settlement to the teens. But Trump in October said he still believes they’re guilty, despite the DNA evidence to the contrary.

1991: A book by John O’Donnell, former president of Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, quoted Trump’s criticism of a black accountant: "Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day. … I think that the guy is lazy. And it’s probably not his fault, because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control." Trump at first denied the remarks, but later said in a 1997 Playboy interview that "the stuff O’Donnell wrote about me is probably true."

1992: The Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino had to pay a $200,000 fine because it transferred black and women dealers off tables to accommodate a big-time gambler’s prejudices.

2000: In opposition to a casino proposed by the St. Regis Mohawk tribe, which he saw as a financial threat to his casinos in Atlantic City, Trump secretly ran a series of ads suggesting the tribe had a "record of criminal activity [that] is well documented."

2004: In season two of The Apprentice, Trump fired Kevin Allen, a black contestant, for being overeducated. "You're an unbelievably talented guy in terms of education, and you haven’t done anything," Trump said on the show. "At some point you have to say, ‘That’s enough.’"

2005: Trump publicly pitched what was essentially The Apprentice: White People vs. Black People. He said he "wasn't particularly happy" with the most recent season of his show, so he was considering "an idea that is fairly controversial — creating a team of successful African Americans versus a team of successful whites. Whether people like that idea or not, it is somewhat reflective of our very vicious world."

2010: Just a few years ago, there was a huge national controversy over the "Ground Zero Mosque" — a proposal to build a Muslim community center in Lower Manhattan, near the site of the 9/11 attacks. Trump opposed the project, calling it "insensitive," and offered to buy out one of the investors in the project. On The Late Show With David Letterman, Trump argued, referring to Muslims, "Well, somebody’s blowing us up. Somebody’s blowing up buildings, and somebody’s doing lots of bad stuff."

2011: Trump played a big role in pushing false rumors that Obama — the country’s first black president — was not born in the US. He even sent investigators to Hawaii to look into Obama's birth certificate. Obama later released his birth certificate, calling Trump a "carnival barker."

2011: While Trump suggested that Obama wasn’t born in the US, he also argued that maybe Obama wasn’t a good enough student to have gotten into Columbia or Harvard Law School, and demanded Obama release his university transcripts. Trump claimed, "I heard he was a terrible student. Terrible. How does a bad student go to Columbia and then to Harvard?"

For many people, none of these incidents, individually, would be totally damning: One of these alone might suggest that Trump is simply a bad speaker and perhaps racially insensitive (not "politically correct," as he would put it), but not overtly racist.

But when you put all these events together, a clear pattern emerges. At the very least, Trump has a history of playing into people’s racism to bolster himself — and that likely says something about him too.

And of course, there’s everything that’s happened through and since his presidential campaign.

As a candidate and president, Trump has made many more racist comments

On top of all that history, Trump has repeatedly made racist — often explicitly so — remarks on the campaign trail and as president:

Trump launched his campaign calling Mexican immigrants "rapists" who are "bringing crime" and "bringing drugs" to the US. His campaign is largely built on building a wall to keep these immigrants out of the US.

He called for a ban on all Muslims coming into the US. He later  expanded this ban to include anyone from specific countries, including possibly France and Germany. Once he took office, his "Muslim ban" took the form of an executive order in which he banned anyone from seven Muslim-majority countries from coming into the US for 90 days and banned nearly all refugees for 120 days.

When asked at a Republican debate whether all 1.6 billion Muslims hate the US, Trump said, "I mean a lot of them. I mean a lot of them."

He argued that Judge Gonzalo Curiel — who was overseeing the Trump University lawsuit — should recuse himself from the case because of his Mexican heritage and membership in a Latino lawyers association. House Speaker Paul Ryan, who endorsed Trump, later called such comments "the textbook definition of a racist comment."

Trump was repeatedly slow to condemn white supremacists who endorsed him, and he regularly retweeted messages from white supremacists and neo-Nazis.

He tweeted and later deleted an image that showed Hillary Clinton in front of a pile of money and by a Jewish Star of David that said, "Most Corrupt Candidate Ever!" The tweet had some very obvious anti-Semitic imagery, but Trump insisted that the star was a sheriff’s badge, and said his campaign shouldn’t have deleted it.

Trump has repeatedly referred to Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who has said she has Cherokee ancestors, as "Pocahontas."

At the Republican convention, he officially seized the mantle of the "law and order" candidate — an obvious dog whistle playing to white fears of black crime, even though crime in the US is historically low. His speeches, comments, and executive actions after he took office have continued this line of messaging.

In a pitch to black voters, Trump said, "You’re living in poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs, 58 percent of your youth is unemployed. What the hell do you have to lose?"

Trump stereotyped a black reporter at a press conference in February. When April Ryan asked him if he plans to meet and work with the Congressional Black Caucus, he repeatedly asked her to set up the meeting — even as she insisted that she’s "just a reporter."

In the week after white supremacist protests in Charlottesville, Virginia, Trump repeatedly suggested that "many sides" and "both sides" were to blame for the violence and chaos that ensued. In short, Trump painted the white supremacists as morally equivalent to counterprotesters that stood against them. This seemed like a dog whistle to white supremacists — and many of them took it as one, with white nationalist Richard Spencer praising Trump for "defending the truth."

This list is not comprehensive, instead relying on some of the major examples since Trump announced his candidacy. But once again, there’s a pattern of racism and bigotry here that suggests Trump isn’t just misspeaking; it is who he is.

Are Trump’s actions and comments "racist"? Or are they "bigoted"?

One of the common defenses for Trump is that he’s not necessarily racist, because Muslim and Mexican people don’t actually comprise a race.

Journalist Mark Halperin, for example, said as much when Trump argued Judge Curiel should recuse himself from the Trump University case because of his Mexican heritage, making the astute observation that "Mexico isn’t a race."

Kristof made a similar point in the New York Times: "My view is that ‘racist’ can be a loaded word, a conversation stopper more than a clarifier, and that we should be careful not to use it simply as an epithet. Moreover, Muslims and Latinos can be of any race, so some of those statements technically reflect not so much racism as bigotry. It’s also true that with any single statement, it is possible that Trump misspoke or was misconstrued."

This critique misses the point on two levels.

For one, the argument is tremendously semantic. It’s essentially probing the question: Is Trump racist or is he bigoted? But who cares? Neither is a trait that anyone should want in a president — and either label essentially communicates the same criticism.

Another issue is that race is socially malleable. Over the years, Americans considered Germans, Greeks, Irish, Italians, and Spaniards as nonwhite people of different races. That’s changed. Similarly, some Americans today consider Latinos and, to a lesser degree, some people with Muslim and Jewish backgrounds as part of a nonwhite race too. (As a Latino man, I certainly consider myself to be of a different race, and the treatment I’ve received in the course of my life appears to validate that.) So under current definitions, comments against these groups are, indeed, racist.

This is all possible because, as Jenée Desmond-Harris explained for Vox, race is entirely a social construct with no biological basis. This doesn’t mean race and people’s views of race don’t have real effects on many people — of course they do — but it means that people’s definitions of race can change over time.

But really, whatever you want to call it, Trump has made racist and bigoted comments in the past. That much should be clear in the long lists above.

Trump’s bigotry was a key part of his campaign

Regardless of how one labels it, Trump’s racism or bigotry was a big part of his campaign — by giving a candidate to the surprisingly many white Americans with huge levels of racial resentment.

One paper, published in January by political scientists Brian Schaffner, Matthew MacWilliams, and Tatishe Nteta, found that voters’ measures of sexism and racism correlated much more closely with support for Trump than economic dissatisfaction after controlling for factors like partisanship and political ideology.

And one telling study, conducted by researchers at UC Santa Barbara and Stanford shortly before the election, found that if people who strongly identified as white were told that nonwhite groups will outnumber white people in 2042, they became more likely to support Trump. That suggested that there’s a big racial element to support for Trump. (Much more on these kinds of polls in my explainer.)

Trump has also earned the support of vocal white supremacists and nationalists, including former KKK Grand Wizard David Duke.

Why do so many Ku Klux Klan members support Trump? "A lot of what he believes, we believe in." https://t.co/AqB3DLKL9f

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) August 25, 2016

As Sarah Posner and David Neiwert reported at Mother Jones, what the media largely treated as gaffes — Trump retweeting white nationalists, Trump describing Mexican immigrants as "rapists" and criminals — were to white supremacists real signals approving of their racist causes. One white supremacist wrote, "Our Glorious Leader and ULTIMATE SAVIOR has gone full-wink-wink-wink to his most aggressive supporters."

Some of them even argued that Trump has softened the greater public to their racist messaging. "The success of the Trump campaign just proves that our views resonate with millions," said Rachel Pendergraft, a national organizer for the Knights Party, which succeeded David Duke’s Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. "They may not be ready for the Ku Klux Klan yet, but as anti-white hatred escalates, they will."

All of this goes against the big goal of the Republicans’ 2013 "autopsy" report, which was supposed to offer a guide after the party’s big electoral loss in 2012. It suggested some of the ways the party could increase support among minority voters — including improved lines of communication. Instead, Republicans got Trump. And yet Trump won, landing huge victories in rural white America.

So Trump can deny his racism or bigotry all he wants. But even his supporters get it. As much as his history of racism may show that he’s racist, perhaps who supported him and why is just as revealing — and it doesn’t paint a favorable picture for Trump.

[funraising-blog1]

Almost a Week On: Don’t Look Back in Anger

Despite the name ‘Funraising’, this platform intends to shed light on community spirit of all kinds. As everyone is aware, the greatest tragedy struck Manchester on the night of the 22nd of this month, and yet the city has borne through with immense strength, power, will and resistance. The city did not need bolstering, and yet one would believe it has been bolstered. In reality, Manchester is only as bolstered as ever was. An entire history of difficulty and hardship has raised a community hard-workers, of unspoken bonds, of cultural pride. A community that has, can, and will overcome. Never has this been more evident than now, for the ways in which Manchester city’s people have come together is innumerable.

 Less than 24 hours after the tragedy struck, a vigil was held in St Albert’s Square in support of those affected by the incident at the MEN Arena, and in sincere memoriam of its 22 victims. Yesterday I witnessed St. Anne’s Square, which currently holds thousands of flowers. Walking through the square, which was so light and full of quiet souls, was unmistakably surreal and harrowingly beautiful. Delicately sweet, fragrant air seemed to swim gently past those around the square, rising rather than dying. The sombre mood was also comfortingly casual. The scene was reflective of the whole city at the moment, for it was undoubtedly tense, but full of good old Northern strength. That morning I had missed a one-minute silence that was held at 11am. As 11:01 came around, the crowd began to sing ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ in a completely unplanned moment. There’s little to say about this aside from the fact that I cannot imagine anything more fitting, and yet somewhat incredible. We can be grateful for that the moment is available online for all to see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXZKo3FZImY

It was not only the respect shown at St Anne’s Square that was astounding however, but my return from it, for I lingered at Piccadilly Gardens. On the hottest day of the year this far, the public fountains were active and surrounded by people of all ages. Children ran through the streams of water, confidently, self-consciously, in enjoyment, in fear. Living in the sweet bubble of childhood, just the way in which they deserve to. To put it simply, if someone had time-travelled to this happy space, they wouldn’t have been able to guess at any recently landed trauma. The way that Manchester has been able to  cope is far above and beyond the old British saying ‘keep calm and carry on’. There’s a hardy spirit in town, and an impressive will to keep living. The Guardian's Josh Halliday spoke to Lydia Bernsmeier-Rullow, the woman who started the impromptu singalong at St. Anne’s Square. She said: "Don't Look back in Anger - that's what this is about. We can't be looking backward to what happened, we have to look forwards to the future.’ People from all over the world of varying amounts of power and importance have all come together to respond to what has happened. However, some of the most profoundly true and intelligent responses that have been heard were born and burst from within. Bernsmeier-Rullow continued, "We're all going to join together, we're all going to get on with it because that's what Manchester does."

In four days, the Manchester Evening News has already raised £1,649,907 of their £2,000,000 target. Administered by the British Red Cross, this money is to be spent on the families of those directly affected. Whilst it is important to understand that there are many causes around the world equally deserving of funding, I think that this cause is undeniably important. The pounds that would have loitered in the pockets of our many are far better when they are taken out in support of our affected. These are hard times, and the media attention spayed on victims alone is traumatic. No-one can quantify how much harder everything else on top of this might be. Money certainly doesn’t buy everything, but it’s one less thing to worry about at the end of the day.

In terms of anger, Manchester has shown a distinct lack thereof. In its place, over the last few days I’ve seen an unmatched, shared understanding. The hub of nostalgia has produced a pure and unmatched love. We should be full of pride, for anger breeds more mistakes than any other emotion. It’s not only unproductive, but destructive. How many people can claim that their best decisions were made in fury? Our streets feel heavier, but only due to the a solid connection that runs through them. In our modern age, it can feel unusual to share a knowing glance with the old man across the road. Coming from the south, I’ve often commented Manchester is a place in which this is a bit more normal. In these testing times, however, this shared glance has been completely expected and rightfully accepted, which is sure proof of a friendly and welcoming community. Tony Walsh, otherwise known as Longfella, exemplifies this magnificently in his commemorative poem:

‘And so this is the place now we’ve got kids of our own

Some are born here, some drawn here but we all call it home.

And they’ve covered the cobbles but they’ll never defeat

All the dreamers and schemers who still scheme through the streets’.

 The literary past is rife with Northern literature. Today we’ve seen Simon Armitage rise, and Lemn Sissay’s work plastered all over our walls. It would be no surprise if Longfella were to join them in history, courtesy of ‘This Is the Place’.

Full of cultural quips and references, the poem makes a point of Manchester’s close association with ‘the league’. A vital part of our culture, it’s no shock that the Red and Blue halves of the Manchester have come together to pledge £1million to its victims. As United won the match, the official City Twitter account announced this with the following picture:

 The chairman of Manchester City spoke: "The hope of both our clubs is that our donation will go some small way to alleviate the daunting challenges faced by those directly affected and that our acting together will serve as a symbol to the world of the unbreakable strength of the spirit of Manchester.”

In echo of this, Ed Woodward, executive vice-chairman of Manchester United said: "The barbarism of Monday evening’s attack has shocked everyone. Our clubs are right at the heart of our local communities in Manchester and it is right that we present a unified response to this tragedy.

I say all of this with sensitivity to the fact that social media and media can be seen as damaging constraints on delicate incidents. Both entities can be problematic and can effect to perpetuate existing worries and issues. I don’t discount this fact, but I add that I’m also proud of how both entities have worked to connect our people. With the help of Twitter and Facebook, within hours of the incident friends and family were able to find each other. The hashtag #roomformanchester helped the stranded find food, transport, and shelter. Masses of support from all over the world has been offered, which is arguably conducive to strength and perseverance. Furthermore, appeals have been set up to thank and help some of those who more than deserve it. Money has been raised to help two homeless men who put their lives on the line to help victims of the attack. Chris Parker rushed into the arena held a woman in his arms as she passed away, and helped a young girl who lost her legs.

If you have anything to say about the paradox of media, please feel free to voice them in the comments section below. I think it’s vital that we voice concerns and remain open to the ideas of others, because the process of debate is key to how we understand, learn and grow. It is key to moving ‘forward’. (where ‘forward’ lies is in itself debatable, but I maintain my statement).

And there are still a variety of creative campaigns contributing every day that passes. A great many people are completing the ‘Great Manchester Run’ this Sunday, a large amount of them for the British Red Cross fund. Another notable contribution is the thousands of pounds coming in from the bee tattoo appeal. As many know, the Manchester worker bee holds a lot of symbolic value for the city. Tattoo parlours from all over the country have pledged to give all proceeds from bee tattoos to the Emergency Fund. People have swarmed to get tattoo’d, and parlours all over Manchester have had queues that run outside their doors. A parlour in Fallowfield is booked up all weekend, but is accepting a limited number of walk-ins early next week. The symbol of the bee has been shared for years, and it’s touching to realise that this is now going to be a common bodily bond too. The physicality being lent to this visual media is so telling of the strength that I hope has been made clear in this entry. 

Manchester has remarkably stayed both strong and sensitive in light of the hardship that has befallen it. The people have refused to look back in anger, and have produced pure heart. I hope that I’ve managed to accurately convey the tight-knit community that is at work in this old textiles town. 

On that note, I will leave this post with a final request. The emergency fund is ever growing and I encourage you to help it do so.  I think it’s important to note that the trauma that has been encountered is not short-term. The people that have been directly affected by the incident will need support for an indefinite period of time, and we ought to be giving it, one and all, as long as we can. We must not treat this like a phase, for we can move past it, but it should never leave us. We should always assist the families and dependents of the 22 people who have been lost, and not forget those of the 64 wounded and critically injured.

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/westandtogethermanchester

We have stood together, and we must #standtogether.

Photo credits go to @mcrfinest